Watch What Crappens - #3307 RHOBH S15E17: Anti Cover Coven

Episode Date: April 10, 2026

Kyle leads the “ditch Dorit” charge on this week’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as some of the ladies decide against supporting a book cover launch, whatever the f that is. Lines are drawn in the sand for next week’s finale. Will Dorit lose her mind, or will she remain Unburdened? To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Havel and welcome to my book, Unburdened by Dway Koonfle. Welcome to Watchwit Krobbins. It's Ronnie and Ben. How are you guys? How are you, Ben? I'm great, thanks. How are you doing, Ronnie? Sagad.

Ben and I went to a pizza party last night, so we are full of carbs. Yeah, we did. We had to talk half an hour before this even started just to get the carbs through the bloodstream. God, it felt good. That felt good. It was wild. Thank you, Patreon, for giving us a little pizza party last night. It was amazing.

I am full of carbs and sodium at the moment, but it was all worth it. Yeah, we got to hang out with Laura from Sex, Unique Podcast, one of our favorite people and podcasts. So that was so fun to see her. What a fun night. So anyway, welcome to the show today, everybody. It's Real Housewives of Bovili Hul's Day. and if you want this on video, as usual, go over to Patreon. That's where the videos are.

Okay, that's where you get them, day of. So go over to Patreon for that. That's also where you get bonus episodes. This week is a really fun recap of the In the City preview, called this trailer Trashes. So that's out right now. Last week was Survivor. That was really fun too. And so bonus episodes, you get ad-free listening there.

If you don't want to listen to ads, that's how you do it. Also, you get Discord server. It's a fun place to talk to each of. other talk about the shows and there is a free weekly recap blog um that all right it's super fun and that's free so if you want that just go sign up at patreon for the newsletter it's called read what crapans okay and today real housewives of beverly hills season 15 episode 17 drama on the dance floor so much drama because where we left off it was rachel Studio 54

birthday bash. Like literally be like Andy Warhol and just like be dead in Pittsburgh somewhere because that's what's happening at this party. Oh my God. So everyone is there in her backyard and Rachel's backyard for the Studio 54 Bash. And specifically there are a lot of Virgos

because a lot of this party is heard being like, oh my God, where am I Virgos? Burgos, come over here. Virgos. Yeah. Burgos are here. Okay, I got my Virgos. Yeah, all the Virgos. come here for a picture. And I don't know.

Like when a bunch of Virgoes get together and it's like Amanda in the group, because I'm a Virgo, you know. And I was like, God damn it. Why don't get Amanda on my side? I mean, I guess I got a Rachel too, but I don't know. I don't get like a Bose or, you know, Vanderpump, something like that. I get Amanda. I know, I don't know.

I wonder which Bravo Lebrides are Sagittarius is. I mean, ask. Which Bravo Lebs are Sagittarius. Come on. Give me something good. Ooh, Nini Leaks, Sonia Morgan, Candace Dillard, and Bronwyn Wyndham Burke. So it looks like I'm always sticking up for Bronwyn no matter what. Durinda. Durinda too. I love my fellow Sage Housewives. This is wonderful. So you would definitely do that at your birthday. Yeah. I'd bring them all up. That's kind of, I mean, that's a very, it's a very loud group. Oh my God. My, my group is.

is not great. Well, I do have Vanderpump, so I did get that wish. So that's good. Okay, listen to who else I have. Caroline Manzo. Oh, God. They're all people that I yell at really on the show, if you think about it. Listen, listen to this one. This is crazy. The disappointment in your Well, who wants like Manzo is their first option, you know? Okay, Caroline Manzo, Giselle Bryant, who, you know, Jazeel's funny and stuff, but God knows I've yelled at Jazeel over the years on this show. Leah, who's like the darkest energy of Bravo.

Leah, what's your buns? McSweeney. Nicole from Real Housewives of Miami, who you know, but fine. Chill. Kim, Kim Richards. Camille Grammer, Sutton,

and Tamara Barney. Yes, that's. That's pretty big. That's a good You know, you have some, like, more chill people there, but you have some really big names. The fact that you have Tamara and Caroline Manzo is hilarious. Is that funny? The first comment, this is a Reddit post from two years ago that I found on the internet. The first comment says, as a fellow Virgo, what a group of hellbeasts and demons.

Mostly complimentary. Wait a second. I just want to say also that on Reddit, they had someone put up a three-by-three grid. of other, this is a year ago of other Bravo Lebs who are Sagittarius is. In addition to the ones I mentioned, there's also Adriana Demora, there's Lisa Barlow,

Garcel, Meredith Marks, and Mia from Potomac. So, God, the Sagittarius pool is really strong. Yes. Yeah, it really is. Yeah, it really is. Okay, so getting into it, the women are all at the house for her birthday party,

and people are taking pictures. like Kyle set and Amanda and Natalie are all taking a group picture and um, Doreet's like whatever. She's just at the bar being bitter. Like, can I have a bit of here with 18 lemons? Without the rinds on them, but squeeze the rinds and then shave the rinds into the glass and then remove the rinds again and then filter the drink. One thing is for sure. Gorga!

With all the shit that I'm going through, I should be looking forward to seeing my friends and getting a strong sense of support that I need. But instead, I have to deal with Kyle and her army of soldiers. And I'm just waiting for someone to hand them all matching uniforms. I'm like, you know, you were one of those soldiers. You were the general. Yes. Like, don't act like you're surprised by this.

Yes, you're a defector, but you are one of the soldiers. And you didn't really even defect. You're kind of getting kicked out. So now at the bar, Nico's just hanging out with Doreet, which is so cute, you know, because he's like the only one who will. talk to Doreet, but he's hanging out with her. And he's like, oh my God, Fat Kelly. She goes, oh my God, I knew.

I knew. Don't tell Kyle it's on the table. She'll sue me. So Kyle sits down with Sutton and they're like, they see Doreet from afar. And they're like, oh my God, I'm worried, I'm worried. And so, goes, okay, she's here. What's your gone do? What are you going to? What are you going to? She was, well, I mean, like,

honestly, like, at this point, I'm like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. It's kind of hard to watch, honestly. Like, yeah, I mean, like, listen, we've argued, we've disagreed. We've disagreed. We've heard each other's feelings. We've both been in Halloween movie franchises.

Actually, that was just me. Sorry. We both been in ER. Just me again. We both had a TV show on the Spike Network. No, that was, I think, just me. Was that my, it was Paramount Network? Whatever it is.

I guess I'm the successful one. But that night was really the worst. The worst. Oh my God. Call Master 9-1-1. So she's telling us, you know, Jareda is on the path of destruction, and she tossed out a friendship with Erica and me,

and I just feel so angry and frustrated. But, you know, I also feel really sad. You do not feel sad. Stop it. You dumped Doreet years ago. And this whole, like, I've been great friends to Doree. You spent the entire year last year telling us you had never been friends with Doreet and just your husbands were friends. And you don't even know why this lady is following you around.

So stop acting like you have been the best friend Doreet has ever had. This narrative is so crazy. And people in the comments being like, Kyle, it's been an amazing friend to Doree. What the fuck so have you guys been watching? And that's not to say that Doreet is so innocent. Doreen needs to stop being late, period. I don't know how anybody puts up with that. But this is all a little bit much.

I'm such a good friend of you. I'm like a great friend. I mean, like, Deree calling a friend to cut fitness, like that is like awful. I know, right? Like, I guess I don't know what Erica did. She's like, yeah, I don't know what I did, right?

I mean, I know you're trying to defend Erica, but what about me? What about me? So, Jennifer shows up. Her hair is like so enormous. She's just sort of like teased it all the way out in this giant cascade of 70s hair, which is kind of amazing. And of course, the thing that everyone was talking about yesterday were the Beverly Hills reunion looks and Jennifer really sold the show because she's wearing a dress that has her face like on it from like shoulder to knee. It's kind of amazing.

Balmain. It's like a custom ball main dress. Yes. With her face on it. And they're saying that she did that because Amanda was like, who's Jennifer Tilly? I don't know who fucking Jennifer Tilly is while she was wearing a T-shirt that had Balmain all over it. So Jessica was that's great.

Jennifer was like, yeah, oh, really? Balmain made this for me, you dumb, hooker. Enjoy. So she comes, oh, by the way, those looks for the reunion. I guess we'll get to those in a couple weeks. Good Lord, those holy secret lives of Mormon wives. What are they wearing? And what's her buns?

Who's I going to talk about? Amanda, the best part was that somebody toilet, papered Amanda. I love that it looks like some teenagers just finally surrounded her and toilet papered her. Because I saw a post of hers this week that was like, did I make a million dollars when I was

20? Do I own my own house and don't need a man that's $3.4 million? Do I have five mom cars? Am I rich? Yes. Yes, I am. I was like, oh God, shut up. And so I just love that after that some kids from the neighborhood just showed

up a toilet paper in her ass. I know. That look was not a triumph. She manifested the wrong things. So Jennifer comes over and, you guys are having a personal conversation. I see gorgeous girls. So Kyle is like, yeah, no, join us.

We're just like talking about the whole situation that happened last night in Italy, that last line in Italy. And I just like, I have like not heard from her since we've been back, which is crazy because I'm actually gonna be the Lincoln lawyer and you would think that you'd wanna talk to a working actress. That was insane. That was crazy.

So across the party, Erica is going up to Bose, and they're like, oh, my God, you look so good. No, you look so good. No, you look so good. Rachel gives her a speech, and she's like, guys, we have a lot of Virgos in my backyard tonight. And I'm so happy you're all here. I hope you guys can hear me from the other side. But you know what? Don't walk towards the light. It's bullshit.

stay there as long as you can. Can we get Bruce Willis here to give this speech? Because I'm dead. I'm literally dead right now. Like, the only thing that's making me even deader than I already was was the fact that Zand is here. Like, I thought he lived in the Hamptons the way I live in the Hamptons now. But he like came all the way out here for my birthday.

Like Zand is here, guys. Oh my God. He's going to sing a happy birthday a little bit later. And it's going to be the most beautiful rendition of happy birthday you've ever heard. Get ready for Zand, guys. Get ready. This is the night to say, celebrate life and have fun and just eat and drinks and dents and all of that.

Okay. Thanks. Guy's like, you did great mom. She's like, love you. Love you. Love you. So she gives him a little kiss. And Kathy's like, is that the little boy, Caius?

And Carl goes, I'm Cassis. She's like, no, it's Caius. God, Kyle, you're that out to lunch on everybody's life. You know, Kyle's always like, I'm the best friend. You don't even know her name. You don't even know her son's name. Kathy knows it more than you. Kyle, that's just a shame.

Lisa Vanderpump is somewhere, sipping some tea and saying, Never forget Nanny Kayas. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. So then we see people around the party. We see our friend Kelty. Keltie is like talking to Doreet.

And Doreet's like, she's like, oh, you're aging in reverse. Of course, Kelty's like, yeah, I just got a facelift. That's why. So then Bose is talking to Erica. And she's like, oh, I haven't seen you sensitivity. Have you talked to Dorit?

And she's like, oh, well, I'm going to give some space, you know, I've been a good friend of DeReed. I'm still a good friend of DeReed, but DeRite's going through some things. She's overwhelmed. That's okay. Because, you know what? Sometimes pain makes you a dumb bitch. I'm just not dealing with it. You know what I mean? When my friends are going through pain, this is what I do.

I back away. I back away until they're done with the pain. Who needs it? I need this place from Deeree to reassess our relationship. Is it worth salvaging? I don't know. But I need a moment to find out and maybe fuck Shrek over there. So then DeRite shows, she walks up to Eric and Bose.

And she's like, hi! And they're all like, hello. So DeRite, like, sort of sits down awkwardly. And now the whole group is together because they, producers have clearly said, you guys have. to sit together and do a group scene, but they're all kind of avoiding each other. Yeah. Well, there's Kyle sees it from across the party. She's like, oh my God, well, now, Toreet's over there. Oh, wow. Now to be. What do we do? Why are you acting like Doreen has done

something to you? You're the one who keeps showing up and confronting her wherever she is. She's not doing anything. That's what's killing me. Like if the woman did something, it would be different. But it's like she just walks into a room and I'm like, oh my God, there she is. This whole party. She's just been walking around going, oh my God, there's Doree. Look, Doreet's coming in. Oh, my God, Doreet has a purse. Oh, my God, Doreet's sitting down. Oh, my God, Doreth talking to this.

Jesus Christ, what, nothing's happening, Kyle. Nothing is going on. So, Sutton is next to Doree, and she's like, hey, so are you and Kyle going to talk tonight? And Doret's like, well, this is the first moment that I've seen her. And her and I do need to have a conversation, but I've had a really, really intense week. and my kids just started school this week, and Phoenix has had a really tough transition. And then we see one hour earlier in the car.

And Doreet's like, Phoenix has such bad anxiety. She was like a shell of herself, cooing, saying she doesn't feel woody. She doesn't fit in because of beach. And she's like, oh, yeah, it's a big deal. So Doreat's telling her, you know, I'll have that conversation when my head's more in the right place.

And so it's like, well, you know, I think it would be nice to just say, you know, I'm sorry. I haven't talked to you in the past. week, I think that would be nice. I do. She's like, well, I'm happy to hear your opinion, but that's definitely not how I'm leaning. So why should I apologize for not speaking to coil when I never even got to cool?

Doreet, I like when she goes, I'm happy to hear your opinion, which is her way of saying, I'm not happy to hear your opinion. I think she's dealing with Settin very well here. And they're going to make, Settin's about to make this like Doret's bullying her or something. Yeah. I thought that was very nice. Like, thank you for your opinion. Not leaning that way right now. Instead of saying, mind your own business, you popsicle stick,

Legged lady, let me the fuck alone and let me deal with my own problems. You're not even involved in this. Go try and start fights with stupid Amanda, okay? No one's playing this game with you, Sutton, lady who's done nothing all year. You want to cry about your son not fixing vending machines in Santa Monica anymore? Come on. Go away. Yeah.

So, Doreet's like, thank you, but no, thank you. and with the hope of not sounding too rude about what you recommended to me. And then she, before she can finish her sentence, Rachel sits down. Hi, I'm here. I had to sit here. This is my final resting place because I'm dead. And at this point, Doret completely changes her, what her, she has, like, her whole demeanor. Because Rachel's there, she's always got to, like, kind of kiss Rachel's ass.

So she says, Saturn has got a lot of opinions of how I should approach Kyle. And so I'm like, oh, like, sun's shocked. How dare you throw me under the bus like that? Why are you making me out to be the bad guy? Like, that's what our face is saying right there. That's literally what Sutton just did, too. Yes. So it was pretty accurate.

And for the first time in forever, Sutton and I are finally starting to have a friendship. But then she starts talking behind me big. And now, a disparate obsession for Coils approval has gotten the best of her. She's taken our friendship, and she's flushed into chola. And then we see C. scenes where, you know, like all those scenes that are evidence of Sutton talking behind Derrit's back. So Sutton's like, so about the investigatory behavior, I would have been pissed,

all that stuff, you know. Yes. So Sutton is like, well, she's still doing that face. Like, I can't believe that Dorit's not taking my advice. So Rachel's like, hey, we're dancing. You're going to dance with me and have fun of the last fucking thing I do, which it will be, because after we dance. I'm dead. So come on. Final rights. Deathbed dancing starts right now, bitch. Doom fucking groin. So she gets up and she goes to dance and Kyle's like glaring at them. She's like, oh my God. Doreet's dancing. Dorete's on the move, everybody. What's she going to be doing now? Oh my gosh. Is she going to dance? Dorese dancing, everybody. And Setton is just looking crushed. And she's like, ah, ha, ha, ha, shut damn. And Jennifer Discusses, you got real shutdown.

Whoa. You were like a Joanne's fabrics, finally. I've been waiting for it to happen, but finally you were shut down. I really should have gone into those sales. This is like mean girl Dorit 101. Like, oh, I don't like what you said, so I'm going to ignore you and make you feel even smaller. I'm like, have you seen what you do sudden when you don't like what someone says? It's so mean.

She's showing her true colors. She's only about herself. that's literally what people are complaining about. Sudden, what did you not get from that last dinner party in Italy? You had your chance to chime in then, and you didn't. And she didn't ignore you. You brought up a point. She addressed your point and told you how she felt about it.

And then you just sat there trying to glare at her with your cat eyes. And she left. She didn't ignore you. She gave you the conversation you asked for. It just didn't go your way. So now she's going to turn this into, I have been bullied. Bullied, Kyle, protect me. protect me Kyle doesn't like you

When are you gonna understand? You are not part of that click. You can try all you want but you're not ever gonna be part of that click. Kyle does not like you. Erica does not like you. You're not part of these girls. So stop this like this constant need

to be approved by those dummies is ridiculous. You're not in that. Yeah. She's like, I don't give a shit. I'm really starting to fucking not give a shit. I'm leaving. And Kyle's like, um, you're not leaving.

we haven't even danced yet since when does Kyle care about that so she gets I see a floor without I see a floor without Kyle slime on it let's do the splats Little does she realize She's about to get appropriated by Natalie Oh yeah

She doesn't say anything in this episode She has fewer lines than Kelty But she definitely gets to do the splits Yes So yeah Carl's like Fuck I'm gonna dance We're gonna dance I don't want to dance

I'm really not up versus not I'm bullied and I'm not going to pretend that this is funny. So come on, let's go. Let's just go for a minute. Come on. So now Kathy Collins Sutton go inside and the son's kind of wobbling. She's like, where are my shoes? Where are my shoes?

I probably stole my shoes. That bully. Sutton just needs, she just needs a scene change because they, like, there's no difference between having the conversation on the sofa's outside versus the sofa's inside. But once they go inside, she's like, okay, okay, I'm ready to hear. I think that sudden just needs to feel like she's being coddled. Like, we're going to take you to a special place to give you special attention so you stay around for the end of the scene. So Kyle's like, so what just happened?

Okay. Show me on the pillow where Doreet hurt you. And she goes, well, Jennifer asked Dorete if she'd talk to Kyle. She said no. And I told Doret, it might be nice for her to reach out to you at some point, which is not what she said. You said, why don't you say, I'm sorry I didn't call you, which is very different. And whatever she said. And then Doreet, she just starts talking to Rachel when I'm just sitting right there.

So this is, of course, Sutton's biggest trigger, which is that she's not the coolest one in the room. She's not accepted. And you have Rachel there. And Doreet cares more about going on a dance floor with Rachel than she does than sitting with Sutton and talking about things. That's how she perceives it. And it's not even problems that Sutton has with Doree. She's going over there to go make Dorete kiss Kyle's ass. It's like, why would you think that she's going to respond?

well to that instead of someone coming over to be friendly to her. It's just stupid. So she's like, it was very condescending and I do not like it. I do not like it. But you know, I have emotions and I have things going on too. My son fixed vending machines in Santa Monica. They are not going to be able to get their almond choice. Who is going to serve almond choice to those poor people?

You know, I am now alone. I'm seriously alone. Even though I keep on saying that I'm alone. And the past like three seasons, my storyline's been that I'm alone. But now I'm like really alone because that boy that you never see, he's gone too. So yeah,

I've been like holding it together all summer long. And I haven't even been able to drink because you guys shame me so hard last year. It's been hard, real hard. Y'all made me gave up my best friend, Belfare. And now I'm alone. So I know.

I've been there. Kyle. This style. One of thing. And Kathy's just blinking at them. I'm like, well, where is anybody talking about? So Sutton is telling us, I dropped my baby off at college. That was stressful and it was hurtful.

And if Derek took one second to pay attention, she might realize we can all help one each other. We can all help each other. You are not trying to help Dorit. Stop it, victim. Yeah, you're trying to help Kyle. We all, we all have things going on. And Kyle's a lot going on, I'd like to add.

This was supposed to be still my divorce season. So Sutton's like, and your daughter's wedding. next week. See, notice how I brought that back from like 18 episodes ago because America forgot or pushed it out of their minds because no one cared about it. I brought it back for you, Kyle. That's what I did. I could be your best friend. I can take Doreet's place. You think this is on my top list of priorities? No, then why are you walking around watching what Dorete's doing every second of the party? It seems like you care because that's what you've done the entire party. So she is, you know, counting on her fingers. She's like,

God, listening, everyone that Doreet has problems with right now, I mean, it's Amanda, it's me, it's Erica, it's Sutton, you know what they say, meet more than one asshole a day and you're usually the asshole. Or you are a specific type of doctor. So then, no kidding. You could just be a proctologist. So Kathy's like, why give this such importance? But just to make it clear, I meet a lot of assholes every day and I am an asshole. And Kyle, from one asshole to another, you are also an asshole. You are an asshole. It also, to be fair, if you meet a lot of assholes in one

day, then you probably are the asshole, yes, but also they can be assholes too. It's just, you're just one more asshole. You're just not exempt as you think you were. Yeah. So, back in the party, Kathy's like, why give this such importance? Like, who cares?

And sudden's wiping tears. She's like, oh, God, I really hurt my feelings, Kathy. And I'm not going to say it. Because you have nothing going on. That's why. No one hurt your feelings. Okay. And Kathy's like, you know, you just have to say, you're not getting rid of me. I'm going to still be here no matter what. I mean, that's what Carol does. God bless her. She can't even match a ribbon to a bell jar. But she's still here. I've changed the locks four times. She just climbs right over the fence. Let's go dance. So they go to the dance lore and now it's dancing time and they're having fun dancing to probably. love shack or whatever. And they're just like dancing, dancing, dancing. And we see Natalie doing the split. This is where she does the big old splits. And she gets, she sort of gets stuck down there. She's so bad at this that she doesn't even tease her face forward to the, to meet the camera. We just

see the back of her head. I was like, come on, Natalie. You got to know where the cameras are. So, uh, Jennifer's like, well, I bet she earned every single penny of that massive divorce settlement. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So back to the party, Kyle and Stettner, back outside, sitting together. And now they're in a different setting to talk about Doreet some more. They're trying so hard to make this a thing. And Doreet does not care. Kyle's like, oh, my God, I think you should talk to Doreen.

I'm going to. I'm going to. Dorete, we need to have to talk. I'm grabbing for a second. She goes, well, that's annoying. A lady I'm talking to all hate and Sutton Forever for this. She goes, what do you mean? You're going to hate me forever.

She's like, I'm kidding. I was enjoying my conversation. For the fourth time. Well, I'm sorry. Notice how I said the word. Sorry, it wasn't a big deal. You really have hurt my feelings. Just how?

Doregives that face of like, are you kidding me? Like, you, my, how much will it cost for this car to be repaired? That kind of face. And Sutton is like, well, when we were talking about. Where the bugles, babe? You've eaten the bugles. I haven't eaten. I just caught you a bag.

You know, she's looking like, really? Millie. Really? The bag I just bought. The one that. I just brought into the house five minutes ago. You're out of it. So she, like, crinkles up, like, one of her nostrils

because she's, like, so annoyed. So it suddenly, like, when we were talking over there before and Rachel came up to us, it was like, as soon as she sat down, I felt like I just didn't exist. And it just, it really hurts my feelings. She goes, well, I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt. And I'm also sorry that you interrupted a very good conversation with Valerie Stephanie, what's her face over there?

Great conversation. Are you, are you, are you really sorry? Are you, are you sorry? Are you, are you really sorry? I'm sorry. I see it. I see it right now. Well, it doesn't seem like you're that sorry.

I mean, I don't know. But it didn't feel like sorry. So, I don't know, try it again. What would you like me to do to prove to you how sorry I am that I hurt your feelings, satin? Well, if we're going to build a friendship, I need to be able to say, that you hurt my feelings. Oh, oh, you did.

And I gave you my apology. And what would you like me to do in addition to the apology? There's something else you'd like me to do. Would you like me to refill the bugles? Okay, so you're mad because I told you needed to do, you're mad at me because I needed to tell you something. And she's like, okay, boy, boy, boy, good boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, goys. And she just walks off and he's like, we know.

Good for her for not giving Sutton her big pre-finally fight that she's trying. This is just ridiculous. And she knew what it was. That's why she had that look on her face. Like, really, what's this bullshit you want to talk about now, Sutton? So, Doreet tells us, When Sutton came and looked me in the eye, she had the audacity to say that I should apologize to coil

for not speaking to her since Italy. And at that point, I knew, gee, she's gone. I don't have the tolerance or the patience for it anymore. I am doom. I'm doom. So Sutton's just on the dance floor. Like, oh my God, she has lost her mind. She has lost her mind.

So Sudden. So Sutton goes back to Kyle's side. Carl's like, oh my God, what happened? What happened over there? What happened? Get alive. My God. I know.

And then Scalar gets on the mic and he's like, I'd like to invite all the Virgoes to the dance floor. We're going to cut the cake. Oh my God. There's cake for the Virgos. Come up here, Virgo cake of Burgos. I don't really eat much, though. I just have stem cells being brought out with sparklers in them.

But you guys can have cake. You guys, and now a very special performance from Xander. Zander, you have the mic. Happy birthday. I love that we good. Happy birthday to you. I was like, what is going on with this wannabe Coachella guy? Zander guy.

Is she banging Xander? I hope she is. because he's at least hot, but God, what a hymnbo. He gets up there and he does the, I love when, like, singers try to, like, sing happy birthday. It's always hilarious. Happy birthday. This is not karaoke. Please stop it.

Okay, just do it like everybody else. Happy birthday. Like, drone it. You know, nobody needs to hear your special skills. Happy birthday. But he tries to do the singer version. He's like, happy. Happy.

It's like, girl, you didn't even have your happy birthday key. Come on, Mojave. I know, yeah. Yeah, he starts off trying to find his key. He's like, Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, happy birthday. Eragous still got to get in when anybody else is singing. Everyone knows that if you're a professional singer, you still have to sing happy

birthday in a very blah way, and the way that you signal that you are a professional singer is that you harmonize with the final note of the song. So when everyone goes, happy birthday, happy birthday, well, everyone goes to you. Professional singers go, to you. They harmonize. That's how they like, yes, I am professional. I know what you're doing.

Just add it in there at the second. Don't church aftering the whole song. You know, just put it there. Just give a little instant splurt there at the end. Yeah. But yeah, it's like, happy birthday. Erica's like, oh, whole and that. So Rachel's like, I hate my birthday because that means I'm getting older.

But my mind, my body are completely different age than my actual self. I'm like happy to be myself. I'm so, so happy. So Jennifer jumps in the pool and then Skyler comes with her and like, oh my God, Jennifer fucking Tilly. I love you so much, so much. Swimming with Sky Sky. guy. It's amazing. Commercials.

Here comes one right now. So now we go to Sutton's house and she sits in her kitchen. I love Sutton walks into her kitchen and she has like a dog that's like in a crate. And she looks at the dog. She goes, hello. And then she goes over to her table. And I just love like that she treated the dog like it was someone who's working out of bank. Hello.

I'd like to talk about making a house. a deposit. Hello. I parked in the handicapped, but I'm just going to be here for a second. That's okay, right? Okay. Let's get to it. Dog's just like, what the hell lady? It's just eating cat poop. It was just so cold and clinical to your own dog. Hi. I cracked up. I cracked up so much. So she sits down. I'm like, I wonder where she gets it from. So she gets on FaceTime with Reba. And Reba has, Reba has basically like, so I saw that film, Edward Cissorhands. And I said, give me the one that Kathy Baker gets because she literally has Kathy Baker's hairstyle from that movie that

Everts Sister Hans gets her. She's like, did you get a haircut mother? She's like, I just slept on it. I've slept on my side and woke up and here I am. I put on a red lip and a new haircut and asymmetric bob. You like it? Don't put it on hairspray before you lie down. I should have known better, but dang it.

What's going on? She's like, well, we went to Italy and the house we stayed in with old. It had a huge theater. And we saw two tenors and a soprano. And her mom's like, yeah. Jesus, that's Puccini.

Tell your friend Zander that that's Puccini. Yeah. Tell Mojave, tell Mojave Hot Buns. He could learn something from Puccini. Right. Yeah, what's the name of Zander's band? Mojave, Mojave's son.

Mojave, Mojave Black or something. So son's like, okay, well, thank you for seeing Opera Mother. You know you are being televised right now. Okay. there's been a lot of drama in this friend group. Mother, please don't do Death of a Salesman monologue.

I mean drama very seriously. I have sold, sold shoes. I can no longer take selling shoes. Mother, don't go to the basement again. Okay, this is not Death of a Salesman. Stay here. Boy! No Puccini, Mother.

No Puccini. That's Death of a Salesman, the musical. Well, honey, what I'm a lot. am I supposed to do if you won't give me drama or opera? Like, don't do anything. This is not an audition tape. Okay, Doreet has not been nice lately. Reba's like, well, you know, I thought you'd be used to that being my daughter. But when your father died, I was pretty upset.

And that might be where Doret is right now. She's maybe going through the motions, but she's not in touch with how she's coming across to people, kind of like you, your whole life. Well, she was not very nice. And she really hurt my feelings the other day. And she goes, are your feelings that shallow, And come on. Good Lord.

I loved this. How did Riba become a national hero? Like, I remember Riva. At first, people were like, app this woman. Now I want Riba to run for president. Like I love her. My son just is like, oh, we're on all this mother. She's like, yes, Mom, I am tired.

My son just moved across the country. She goes, oh, yeah, that's right. Good for him. Finally got out. By the way, when Riba, like, says these things. things, Sutton really has a look of a cat that got squirted in the face with a one.

Get off the counter. Fine, mother. And she just keeps doing it over and over. It's like, well, she didn't ask me, you know, and she didn't ask me about that. And I've been in her corner. She didn't ask me about my son. She said, well, she didn't mean it, honey. She's writing a memoir. And then Reba goes, oh, please.

So just when Durit thought Reba was on, you know, Deeree was like, see, even her mother's on her side. Then she goes, oh, please. Who does she think she is? Pachini. Mother. I think that that needs to be on Doreen's book cover,

like where they give quotes of other authors who think they're fabulous. It's like, this book really made me feel unburdened by, you know, Kate Smith. And then he gets Deriva. Oh, please. Oh, please. Sutton goes, and she's having

her quote unquote launch party. I'm doing air quote smother for her book, even though there is no book. So I'm just calling a photo launch party. And we see a flashback to Doreet telling everyone, everyone, I want to invite you all to my release party. I'm revealing the cover of my book.

It is now called Unburdened, but the original name of it was and they're just all looking at her like the release of your book cover? What the hell? sounds like, I don't think I'm going to go to that party. You think that's okay if I'm not going to go? Of course that's okay.

You don't want to go, don't go. But I've barely begun to even be alone in this house. I need to get used to it. I need to start being alone more so that I can get used to being alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. Does that make any sense? You have so much to learn, starting with Puccini, I have to say,

because someday you'll be FaceTime into your child and singing Puccini so you don't have to listen to their stupid complaints about the world. Oh, honey, I've been waiting. for this moment when finally you get to spend time with the person that everyone else has run away from their entire lives. You. I just, I haven't gotten used to that. I haven't really gotten used to that quiet place yet. Oh, well, you got to watch out for those aliens. You want me to do my alien impersonation?

Mother, you've been watching popular movies? Mother, okay, stop it. That was the alien seeing Puccini in death of the salesman. Okay, I gotta go. So, I'm gonna go. Sudden saying she dropped off James, her son. And so she, like, you know, it's really sad. And, you know, her empty nests since,

she hasn't really registered that she has an empty nests yet. She's like, she knows she can see. It's like, look, there's, she sees she's alone. She sees the empty rooms. She sees Dreyfus right there in the living room, but she doesn't quite feel like she's on empty nest just yet. So she's getting there. So we're hoping that David leisure will pop and buy and really help sell the concept to her.

Oh, wait, I just got a text. It's from Richard Mulligan. Can we just be friends? Okay, well, I have been friends zoned by the empty nest guy. So, okay, it's official. Mother, hold on. There is a surly nurse at the door named her overall. She says her name is Laverne, though we don't really understand what's going on.

So with this fun, empty nester thing is supposed to start. It's going to be fun, right, Mom? It's going to be fun in about five years. Five years. But you're going to start doing stuff to enjoy yourself since you'll have less responsibility. You know, hopefully it's maybe classes on being less of a little shithead. So people will actually want to hang out with you some more. But I like being a mother.

She says, well, you're still a mother, but you're also sudden, unfortunately. So you're your own unique person. and that's what you need to work on. Okay. Thank goodness for my business. Thank God I did that six years ago. I'm like, it's closed, right? That's closed.

Yeah, what is she talking about? We need to look this up because what was this archival interview they inserted in here? She's like, because I'd really be lost without it. I'm like, I have bad news for you. This is someone who is not checking on their store because it's not there anymore. She really hasn't been there. Well, she has Sutton Green Label. So maybe she just moved it all.

online because she does have that. That's actually true. She does have her because she had that fashion show that Kathy bumped into the model and um so the last thing on her store is a girl in pajamas and they're not like even steamed. They're like really wrinkly ugly pajamas and uh, it's the sudden concept 64 weeks ago. So yeah. Um, so yeah. So she's just like, thank God for my dogs in my store. They were more fulfilling than children ever were in the first place. I'm just going to, someday, I'm just going to stand at the top of the world and taking that view. Okay, Sutton. So now we go to Rachel's house.

So I'm looking at Sutton's website now because I want to see what she's doing. It's important to me to know. Her website is called Sutton Brands. And it's a picture of Sutton on the couch. And then there's, it's just all Sutton. Sutton's the model for everything. It's Sutton in a jogging suit. And then three different gifts of Sutton, like posing.

modeling her own little jogging suits. And then there are t-shirts with her phrases on them. There's a lot of name-em shirts. And that's it. And oh, no, there's also a sweater that says Snow Babe that has another model. But otherwise, it's just Sutton modeling, name-um hats and stuff like that. So, yeah, you're basically Bill Gates.

Wow. Yeah, she basically, future Jeff Bezos. So Erica, we go to Eric. I'm sorry Rachel's house. Erica comes over, which honestly, if I were Erica, I'd be a little annoyed. I'm like, I was just here last night. You couldn't come to fucking Hancock Park.

Jeez. But I would have taken you to restaurants, but no one allow you in because you keep dining dashing. So we're just stuck in my house. You don't have to pay here. Oh, thank God. All right. Do you enjoy your party?

I did. The happiness I felt. I just looked at my friends. Look at my face. Look at how happy it is. Like, how did I get so fucking lucky to have, like, a friend who could wear a fedora and sing happy birthday in ways we never even knew they could be sung? Like, I'm dead. It's amazing. Well, you're a good friend to everyone in this group, including Mr. Reed, who's letting us have it.

She didn't let you have it. You let her have it. What are you guys rewriting history episode to episode? So Rachel's like, oh, God, we need to talk about that. You know, like, with the shopping and the spending, like, we all fucking shop. So, like, I wasn't exactly like, oh my gosh, you're spending so much money in the Hamptons. Like, who doesn't? Like, hello, we're on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It's not what we're supposed to do.

It's like, well, but the thing is, when we go through separation, the first thing we think about is always the money. See, I don't because, like, my situation's different and, like, that isn't where my mind goes first. I think of, like, my vintage Dior, like, what happens that? I think about the kaleidoscope in Sedona. Like, what happens with that? I think about, like, slippers I got. that I gave to Kaias. I think about Kaya's

like moisturizer. Those are the things I think about first. I don't think about the money because honestly I'm really wealthy. Yeah, she's like, I don't think about that because I'm rich. So, and I die every day and then I inherit all my money

all over again. Like, I become richer every day. Yeah. So Rachel's like, I don't want to judge her based on her spending her lateness. I mean, her lateness is like her lateness.

Like, she's got to work on that. for sure. It's like, yeah, well, the leadness is not just I'm late. At least into time management, or I don't care about anybody else, or is it like I'm mad of everyone or dare out to get me, you know, things like that? Well, you think she is? You think that's it? You think it is that? Well, I can only presume she's overwhelmed because apparently we can't say erratic anymore, so we've got to say overwhelmed with the kids and a marriage vulgar part and all that bullshit. You know, I see a lot of fear that we right with home. It whole world is upside down. with legal issues thoughts of how am I going to pay for all this?

How's it going to turn around? Because P.K.'s not going to go easy on it. He's solid because he knows all the tactics. He's got a whipped up into a frenzy. He loves it. He loves them. So isn't that why you should be kind of nice to her? I mean, look, the whole, like, Derreta's late.

Yes. Erica's always going to have me on that one. Derrete is an asshole for being late. So if it's just about that, just make it about that. So Rachel's like, well, at the end of the day, you get dead people for dead people. It's a lot. And part of my job, like, as a newer friend,

like, maybe I should go deeper with Doreet. You know? Maybe I should be like, are you okay? Because you were late. But, like, I'm going to go to a book party. And you're coming with me, right? Like, because if Kyle doesn't go, like, she'll expect that. But if you don't go, it's going to be a thing.

And so Rachel's like, Derek is like, yeah, it's going to be a thing. Yeah, it's going to be a thing. Yeah, it's going to be a thing. It's going to be a thing. It's going to be a thing. It's going to be a thing. And like, huge thing, huge. Yeah, she'll probably be bad at me.

Do I call her? Yes, like a no show that would destroy her. She would be gone. She wouldn't even be bones. There would just be ashes. She would be destroyed. She would be obliterated. Just throw acid on her.

Just start her on fire. Appliterated. She would immediately say, I'm siding with Kyle. Why am I doing that? She would. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she will. She will.

Great. They're not going to do it. That's exactly what I want her to know. And you are. So now we see it's the evening and Bose is going on a little mommy daughter date that's totally not pre-planned at all. Everybody, here's my completely natural romance storyline. Let's get to it. We brought you to a restaurant that was as close to the spelling of your name as possible as Boa.

They got just one letter off on the alphabet and before circling back to the front. But that's okay. So they walk in and she's like, oh, I'm excited. a mother daughter date. And guess what? It's not just that. They walk into a back room and the door opens. And there is Keeley.

Keri is there in a big jacket. And everyone's there. All the families are there and everyone has their smartphones out. I'm like, part of me is kind of like, can everyone put their phones down? Can like you just enjoy this for a moment? Because I'm like, it's being documented pretty effectively. I'm not, I don't watch Bravo. Like, fuck this.

I'm getting my own video. So this is totally not planned by Bose at all. Keely is some out of work actor from San Diego. He did not rent out Bo. He did not rent out B-O-A. Sorry. Yeah. I'm not buying this.

I got to engage in the Bank of America. No, at Boa Steakhouse. He's there. His plugs filled in, which was nice. Do you call it Boa or B-O-A? I call it B-O-A. but I'm you know, I'm not rich.

Oh, it's Boa. Because it's all caps. So I thought it was B-O-A. Well, no, well, that just means you're supposed to say, Boa. Baja. I was like, Mom, you don't have to

text a restaurant like that. No, it's called Boa. Either way. This is, it's an engagement. It's very nice. He's like, you look great.

love your lips love your eyes love your smile love everything about you she's like oh but you said you were in san diego it's like we'll get used to that on our first date i knew there was something different about you on our third date you asked me to go to ghana i said are you sure but i knew then in ghana that i was not gonna be gana see what i did there this is something special and that you're someone i could cross to the finish line with I can't wait to do forever with you. So, will you marry me? Well, of course I will. Will you be my retirement plan?

He's like, oh, my God, of course. And so everybody claps and Lail cries, watching her inheritance go down the drain. And Bose is like, oh, God, you know, I think about this moment, dreaming about it, envisioning how I'd be during it, stoic and fabulous and laughing.

But all I want to do is cry. I can't believe I'm here. I've allowed myself to dream. And look what dreaming. brought me this oddly rugged man, Kili, who's already spent half of my money. I can't wait. This was like lightning striking. Yeah, and you were standing right in the path of it.

What are you doing? You know, when lightning strikes twice, sometimes you've got to say, like, that's not, like, I think the first time's enough. I don't want the lightning to strike a second time. Yeah, who wants lightning to strike twice? you know, it's not good. It's usually not good. Although we did get electricity from it. We, we, not be totally.

Fire. Fire. And, um, David, David Copperfield backgrounds. So, Bose, it's, it's actually a very nice scene. And, um, Bose is just like, very happy. And she's like, she's like, there's so much shit to look forward to. Um, so now we go to Kyle's house, which is not one of the things that's on the list to look forward to going to Kyle's house.

And Kyle is in an effort to remind us that she has been in the Halloween franchise, has her face in a Michael Myers-esque mask, the entire scene. Salmon sperm facial. Yeah. So she's not making salmon this year, but she's still putting their sperm on her face. Kyle has a real salmon kink. So Portia and Alexia come in. They're like, oh, my God.

I'm getting married, Bob. Oh, my God. You're getting married? Yeah, I'm getting married. Oh my God. Her big day is four days away. She's going to be your wife. It's unbelievable. I look at her and I'm like, how is that possible? You're still a baby.

It's like looking at one of Mauricio's dates. How do I get my face? How do I get my face to look like yours? That's where I'm wearing this. Michael Myers mask all 24 hours. I know you're supposed to only do it for 13 minutes, but what if I do it for all day long? All day long. My face will be young. The substance. So Jen, the assistant comes in and she's like, hi, I'm Jen. I have a lot of things to go over with you.

She's like, I'm supposed to go to a thing for Doreach night. But like, honestly, it just feels weird to go when you're like barely speaking to someone. Right. She's like, yeah. And you have so much going on right now. Like there's the salmon sperm facial you're doing. Then I think you have to look for a remote later on. Yeah, you've got a lot going on.

I love that. You've got so much going on. She's got a salmon skin facial sperm thing on her face. So she's like, yeah, I'm just going to text her and let her know. I'm not coming, but even that's weird because, like, we're not even texting. Maybe I'll text PK and have PK text her. So, Kyle's like, over the last 10 years, I've always felt like I stood up for Doreet and have defended Doreet.

And they give Kyle a very complimentary montage of time. They sure do. When, you know, Kyle has defended Doreet in the past, but this was all before Kyle announced out of nowhere that she wasn't close friends with Dorete, which is, by the way, the reason why that was such a crazy thing to say is because we'd witness this montage in real time. And so the montage suggests that they actually are good friends. And so it's that disconnect that

poisoned everything afterwards. And some of these clips they put in there are just bullshit too. And they're like a mending history. Like look how Kyle stood up for Doreet during Puppie Gate. Carl was the one who made Puppie Gate a big deal. She's the only one who made that a big deal to get Manderpump off the show. So

she wasn't defending Doreet. She was antagonizing a situation. and ruining a friendship so that she could get rid of Vanderpub. Come on with these editors. I've been watching this show. You can't trick me, Keeley. So she's like, yeah, I want to support her. But, like, you know, like, you know,

I feel like all of support and being a good friend of her, like seems so unimportant now. Like, I mean, if she's forgotten all of that, then, like, why am I going to go to this party after everything that happened? So now we go to Amanda's house. Do you think she should have gone to Doreet's thing? Or do you think she's being an asshole?

I think they should. it's a tough one because honestly, I think they're in an active fight for sure. And this is like, it is kind of a bullshit party. It's a party for the cover of her book. So that just feels so stupid. But,

um, you know, I think there's a way that we can be like, okay, we're going to support, well, we'll support you. We'll come in and then we'll leave.

Because they know that they're going to bury the hatchet at some point. If anything, I actually think Erica has more of a leg to stand on up with this because Kyle is just so petty. I think like Erica was deeply offended when Doreet said that Bose has supported her more than anyone else in this group ever has. Well, she was saying this year, though, she said Bose has been more supportive to me this year than you guys. Did she say this year? Yeah, I think you're pretty sure. But go ahead. Either way.

I didn't mean to interrupt you. But I should. If I were Erica, I would, like, I feel like I would be, I think it was like, somehow it just felt like a hit a little deeper towards Erica. But, yeah, I don't know. I think they probably should have just gone and just said hello and then left. Sutton has the worst excuse of all. Like, sudden just made up a fight so that way she couldn't go.

But I think you go for five to ten minutes. you say your hello's and then you leave early. Well, at the very least, like go and then you could say, God, even when I wasn't happy with you, I went to your stupid book cover signing, you know? But I think by not going, they're just dumping Doreet. I think that they're just like, okay, Dorete's done. We'll get rid of Doret with this one. Because they're always trying to get rid of somebody.

Every year, it's like, who are we going to get rid of? And I think it's Doret's turn. And they're like, we're done with her and we're all going to unite and just not shoot with Dorete. And then we'll get rid of Doreet, you know. And it's shitty. So, kind of. Kyle, you know, Kyle makes her decision. So now we go to Amanda's house and Eddie is just lying on the living room floor because he's poor.

And so he doesn't get a couch. And then Amanda is eating. And she's like, I wasn't going to go to this thing for Dereet. And he's like, the book launch, quote unquote. It's like, yeah, like I guess you have to actually like write a book to call it that. So this is more of like a reveal for the cover of the book. Like, you know, like how I had a picture for the cover of my book. And he's like, so are you going to go?

I'm like in like a weird position because I don't feel obligated to go at all. And I don't owe her this or feel like I need to go. But there's a small part of me that wants to be a woman who supports women. Because, you know, Doreet's been horrible to me this whole summer. She made it very hard. I mean, she even called me a wimp through Sutton's body at my own manifestation party. But I want this stream of revenue for her. And I'm happy for this woman that made my summer absolutely terrible.

I'm happy for her that you can earn at least, you know, $35 a week with this book. So I'm going to support her. Yeah, she goes, I'm happy for her. I'm such a good person. Oh, God. So then she's like, I'm going to go. You know, she's like, if the vibes are bad, I'm going to come home. And he's like, well, in the eternal words of my father, don't be the one to start it.

Be the one to finish it, girl. She's like, hallelujah. So then we go to Bose and Rachel getting ready. And then we go to Sutton's house. And she's just at her kitchen table. And so she facetimes Bose. And she's like, well, you look pretty. Well, what are you doing?

Where are you at? I'm at home. Why are you at home? I'm not coming. I'm not coming. I'm staying home in solidarity with all of the vending machines that have quarters stuck in them and nobody to help them. The way I was spoken to at Rachel. was not nice. I understand

she's highless dressed and I don't want to be part of the problem and I of course want to talk to her because I don't want to sever our friendship and I think if I went to not, it could just injure it further and Bose is like, okay, like Bose is definitely not fighting for this. Um,

Sutton's basically saying, you know, that part of the work I've been putting into myself this year is respecting myself as well as find a new and interesting ways to start fights with people and then get mad at them, that they were angry at me during that five. So, I don't know.

I'm afraid if I'd go to Doreet's party, I find myself in a reactive position. Whatever. This is a reactive position. This is being actively mean. So then Bose is like, well, this isn't a good look for Sutton. I mean, at the very least, come support to read. You know, she's always shown up for her,

even when they weren't in the best of places. I mean, why not show up for her? Drink some champagne. Eat some hors d'oeuvres. I mean, girl already paid for him. Might as well eat them. What the hell? Seriously, free food, come on.

So, I'm emotionally vulnerable right now. Oh, shut up. So now we go to Gravitas, a member's only club in Beverly Hills. And it's Dorit's book cover reveal party. Could you imagine being a member of a club called Gravitas? I just can't, especially it's in Beverly Hills. You want me to think there's such a thing as Gravitas in Beverly Hills. Come on, get over yourself.

You want to meet this Graviton. Yes. You're a club called Gravitas and you're hosting a party for Doreat's book cover for a book that's not even out yet or written. Well, that takes gravitas. If you think about it. Yeah, I guess it does. Big Gravitas. So Doreet's like, well, it's been a long time since I've had something.

I can see LeBuit and I'm very excited for tonight. Very, very excited. And she's talking about how before P.K. She was a business woman. an established fashion career. And she put everything on hold for that uncooked croissant. But now it's time for me to get back into the workforce so I can support me and the kids. The workforce, ma'am, you are not going to work at like a Ford factory.

Okay, you're not going up to Lansing. Workforce, you're right. You had someone else write a book for you, as is you're right, as a celebrity, no pun intended. And you're putting out some stupid autobiography that's going to be here. one second gone and another. And you're acting like you're Rosie the Riveter. Come on, Doreet. So funny.

But I do like that Doreet is like, you know what? This is a Numi, a Numi who supports children. And that's why I wear shoulder pads. Like she's wearing, in everything we see that's related to the book, she's wearing gigantic, like, football size shoulder pads. It's so funny. It's like in the book, the cover of her book and in the outfit today. She's like, it's unburdened.

And the theme is. shoulders. Because when you're unburdened, you have less on your shoulders. So now I have more on my shoulders. Does that make sense? No. I developed very large shoulders carrying the lunchbox to work. Very heavy. So Rachel comes in. She's like, you are fabulous. Really, thank you, Beebe. Because I've got to tell you, Rachel, I'm hanging on by a three. Tomorrow I'm supposed to pick it at the factory. So Rachel, was like, she's like, Sam, Sam, I'm also hanging by

a thread. I'm on fucking fire right now. Like literally, is there an extinguisher? I need it to be put on me. I'm in flames. Be careful. Like, you have about 30 seconds to get out of this building before it all goes up in an inferno, because I am on fire.

I don't even want to talk to you about it because it's your night, but I'm just going to sit here and burn to death in a corner. So just like watch me perish. It's like totally fine. No, tell me about it. Okay, fine. This is where I'm at. I wore these sparkles intentionally because, like, they represent fire and I'm dying. She's like, what is it? What is it? Oh, and she holds up with Chanel, do not disturb clutch. She's like, yeah, do not disturb me so I can tell you. Okay, I'm getting ready to go an hour ago. And my phone starts blowing up, blowing up, blowing up, I tell you. Like, I don't even follow my ex. But then everyone's like, did you see what he posted on social? Apparently, it's her birthday. Day after mine and he posted, wait for it. Happy birthday, my love.

Oh my God. Can you believe that a man would post that to the love, to his love on her birthday? Swear. Swear to God. No. No. No. No.

Stop. Stop. Swear to God. Stop. Swear to God. Put me out. Put me out. Put me out.

Put me out. Put me out. No, seriously. It hurts. Awful. Just shoot me. To shoot me. That's right.

No. Awful. Dead. Terrible. What? How? I'm die. I should die.

Let's kill him. Who? For the world to see, the entire world to see on social media. Wait, did I tell all the girls in this turnout pool? So Rachel is like, I don't think it's that crazy that you're, you broke up with your husband, and then your husband got a girlfriend, and now he's posting happy birthday to his girlfriend. I don't I didn't think it was that crazy at first But then I think it's the public nature and like with the boys and I don't know I just I don't know how much the boys know or don't know

Well now they know because remember he sat him down with the girlfriend or whatever Right, but I think Rachel's probably reacting to like let's not rub this in the face of the kids while they're getting used to it I'm not sure okay but my first thought was my first thought was like um he is dating her he's a lot to say happy birthday But once DeReed said out there for the world to see, then I was like, oh, maybe that's what it is, the public nature of it. But I do like that, I do like that Rachel keeps coming in with these like big announcements about something that Raj did, acting like it broke the internet.

Like, none of us really care. She's like, yeah. The whole world. I've been getting so many text messages. Yeah. I got a call from the queen. And the only reason I can get a call from the queen is because we're about that. So my dead phone thing.

everyone's talking about it. I don't know. I just feel like Rachel has been divorcing Roger for like five years. So the way that they're making it sound like this is all just happening right now on the show. I mean, I know that the actual divorce is, but I don't know. It's not like I keep up on Rachel news. Like I don't have a Google alert for Rachel, but I feel like I heard about the Roger divorce like a really long time ago. Yeah, it was it was less.

It was a lot. Well, because they first got separated. I mean, they got separated in, I think, 2024. But then the divorce obviously happened last summer when this was filming. And it's just been going on for a long time. It's not really been terribly interesting for any of us. So, but it's very interesting to Rachel. And obviously.

And so she keeps bringing it up like, guys, did you see the latest? I can't believe I'm in this national scandal with Raj. Like, oh, okay. It's the divorce. And she's like, yeah. I mean, is it not absolutely? insane that he's dating a Virgo who's a wannabe stylist whose birthday is three days after mine. Like, you know.

Well, I could absolutely see BK.K. doing the same thing that Roger did. He loves the attention. I'm sure I would feel exactly the same way. Rachel feels sick to my stomach, sort of how sick I feel when I see all the labor infractions happening on the assembly line when I'm at work. Do you know how difficult it is to make us Volkswagen? I saw one lady get her hand sheared off. By the way, P.K. did just do this. Actually, P.K. just came out with his new girlfriend. And she looks exactly like Doreet.

It's crazy. I mean, exactly like Doreet. It's... I mean, he definitely has a type. Yikes. Wow. Isn't that crazy? Also, lady, who and why are you?

Yeah. Why? Why, lady? Why? Why are you doing this to yourself? This is what I've always felt about Doreet, too, you know? I don't know. P.K. is one of those guys.

Like, you marry P.K., and then you can't wonder why everybody has lost respect for you. Like, every, nobody is. going to be like, oh, you married P.K. Must be for love. Nobody. You know, P.K. really pulls the wool over these people's eyes. I don't know. So, um, now Jennifer comes in and it's like, oh, look at everybody.

It's so gorgeous. Oh, my God. You the other night, jumping into the pool with Kai Kai. Whoa. That was like incredible. She's so adorable. I felt my ovaries expanding. Is that what ovaries do? Um,

what is an ovaries work? What is an ovary? I don't know. I'm like, I'm a gay man. So Amanda comes in and, you know, everybody's like, wow, you look so great Amanda. She's like, yeah, this is Balmain from this past winter, I believe, or otherwise known as my husband couldn't afford this. That's the label. It's the label. He's poor. Derreit introduces them to her publisher. And she's like, Jennifer's like, you are so lucky to have Derreet telling her amazing story. that was sarcasm. I can do humor.

He went from that thing to that other thing and then she was late to that thing. And it's a short book, I presume. This is a brochure. Are you brochure? Publishers? Yes, I'm excited to find out about Doreet's life. We're designing Beverly Beach.

Can't wait for that chapter. Yeah. And I got the swatches for Book of the People. I'm very proud of to read and this little ceremonial gathering by celebrating baby steps as she's on her way. And usually the last thing you do when you write a book is Photoshop the cover. So she's doing a little in reverse, but you know, you do you. Good job, gorgeous girl. I don't think Kyle's coming.

But it's like, oh, hell, Sutton just called me and said she's not coming either. Does nobody respect free or nerves? Well, I've had three people in our group tell me they're not coming. It's very last minute. Like, are you kidding me? She's like, Natalie is sick? They're like, you know, they're looking at her like, is Natalie in our group or? Okay, that's fine.

Who? She got, she got some kind of foot disease from doing splits on the floor. Coil is tired and overwhelmed. And Sutton just wrote me after much thought, I've decided not to attend this evening. I want you to have a special night. And after how things went at Rachel's, I think it's best that I stay home. Oh, you spoke a little too sharply to her. There is a little bit of a squiss, but did anything else happen between you two?

What happened? She's like, no. She goes, gee, this is terrible. The only consistent thing about Sutton is her inconsistency. And shame on me for letting her show me so many times that she has no compassion for me. So now we see a flashback scene of Sutton's inconsistency. and her being like, well, maybe you should argue with somebody whose wallet fits. Yeah, that's classic.

It still makes me laugh. So Doreet's like, she sent me that text 13 minutes after the party started. So, is that, is there a, is there a coming? It's like, well, to my knowledge, she is. But then the music is like, bwam, bwam, and we go to Sons House. You know, this looks real. bad, okay? Because guess who's here? Erica? Erica's like, hey. He's like, I know this looks bad, okay, but we did not plan this, okay? Hand of the Bible. Hand of the Bible. Okay. And you

know what I'm not going to do? Lie about the Bible. I'm going to do it. So I did not know that Erica was going to go, was not going to Deree's party at all. So she's like, I texted to read I wasn't going. I'm going to do that. Okay. She's going to be mad. She's going to be mad. She's going to be mad. The horror music was out of control. Gosh, you know it's bad when Erica's decided to skip the main party to go hang out with Sutton instead of Kyle. Wow. That is pretty bad.

They must have just told them like, guys, you can't just not shoot. You've done nothing, especially Erica and Sutton. It's like you guys have brought zero to the season. At least Kyle's been stirring the pot all year. You guys can't just not show up for work. So you're going to have to shoot at Sutton's or something, you know. Yeah. And Erica maybe was thinking, if I go to Kyle's, it'll look like I'm just one of Kyle's minions.

So let me go to Sutton and grin and bear it and get through this. So as a to be continued, we'll find out what happens next week, which I'm assuming is the finale. That'll be episode 18. So we will see. Yeah, fun times. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Our way is the Amber Way.

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Tell us what's going to happen. All right, everybody, thanks so much for being here. We will see you next week for the season finale. Bye. Bye. Bye.