Watch What Crappens - #3338 Below Deck Down Under S04E13 Part Two: Ben Pecked

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

This is part 2 of a 2-part recapDaisy has had it with Ben’s attitude on Below Deck Down Under, so the Heads of Department have a very special dinner to henpeck him to the point of no return. Who started all this? Why, the most obvious, devious culprit: peanut butter cookies. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to watch what happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.

So then we see another scene with Ben and Kate where he's like, all they like and get, she goes, I don't know because I don't hover over them while they take their first bite. But I'll keep you posted. Well, Daisy is clear, but she's too clear. So now we see Daisy from this season being like, fire up the second course because they're going to eat this really quick. I'm here to put the pressure on.

It's mid-john. A little bit of pressure is nice, but a lot of pressure is not nice. I feel like sometimes she's working against me. I'm like, no, she's trying to get your shit together. So anyway, he's working on his cake. And then the guests me while, do they go down the water slide, and then they're having fun. And Daisy goes back into the galley, and she goes, by the way, if you want you to go and speak to them, now's probably a good time. He's like, I'm not going to speak with them.

I'm busy. I'm busy. I'm busy's little playful pickle. What a. Whatever. My little playful pickle. So Jenna goes to get a dip and dots diaphragm. There.

There you go. But when in the jar, it was worth it. My naughty nipple. So Jenna is, goes in the galley and offers some candles for the cake or whatever. And I don't know, whatever. So then the stews are decorating the table, leopard-themed.

And Daisy tells Eddie that she wants him and Mike to do a dance for Joanna's birthdays. They're going to get their magic mic on or unmagical mic. My God. Please don't. use some magic and keep your clothes on. Just put some clothes on to Mike. Nobody needs magic Mike, starring Mike and Eddie. Definitely not.

Definitely not. God, it's like the cast of King of the Hill stripping. I also can't stand when the crew has to perform for the guests. Like, are we at, like, Ozarks Club Med? Like, we don't need to do this right now. Yeah, and the stripping, I mean, look, I'm not one of those people. who's like if these were women we would never treat them like that because men are not women like you know I get that I don't think it's the same but I do think it's like I don't I just don't want to see my fucking waiter I don't want my way nuts in my face I just don't especially if they're like or Eddie like if you get me some who's that guy used to be on the show that was fucking hot I think he turned out to be a douche later but he was on a couple he's like the old school guy from way back on Shelby or what's his name Shelby? The big tall, blonde guy.

He had a sister on the boat. Oh, Addy. I mean, not, not Eddie. Oh, no. That guy was hot. He had news out on the internet. Uh, yeah. He looked at them.

It was like, wow. He was like, not Torrey or Corey. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. If it's Kelly, okay, strip. But Eddie and Mike, no. No, no your strippers. Okay. Don't give me some like some back row D list strippers. Give me. yeah please um so

nowadays he's at the bar with the guests she's like how are you guys doing she's like and this guy's like I have a question for you for dinner is it Italian or it's not Italian she's like um huh I don't know hey Ben could you come to the main salon and talk to the guests about dinner he's like okay fine he's like hello everyone hello my

my angry abdomens what's going on this evening What do we got tonight for dinner? He's like, well, there's a crispy duck spring roll. I was going to do some Wahoo. And he goes, what is that? I'm like, excuse me, you're from the food metropolis of Phoenix, sir? Your wife has already told us get it together. And he's like, it's a fish.

You're not excited about that, are you? And he goes, no, we like pasta. Well, for Christ's sake, could you order, could you say that? Well, you just coming on here, dissing wazoo. What did Wahoo do to you? I know. But like also, I don't know. I mean, I would like to see their preference sheets.

I would like to see how accurately they express what they want for this evening because I feel like this is a last minute change. So Joanna goes, oh, we love it. We love pasta. And I married an Italian. So, you know, I love it. Lemon and anchovy and garlic. That's one of, you know, that's one of Chanel and I's favorites.

We just love pasta, pasta. Like, yes, man. know what pasta is and we understand its value. Like, you don't have to settle us on pasta. Just because you married an Italian doesn't mean I have to feed you pasta. I mean, I married my palm. It doesn't mean I want to eat fingernails every night. Or do you?

I mean, I should. I would definitely have a lot of, a lot fewer weight complaints against myself. I just stuck to fingernails. One thing we did not really adequately mention is that this request for pasta instead of fish comes literally 10 minutes before dinner. Like, they're all sitting at the bar. about to go to the table. So Ben's like, oh, okay.

They barely does the guest come in with last minute. Pasta dish requests, 10 minutes before dinner, but, you know, I'll just save something up for those feisty little finger poofs. Ben should have checked in with them before dinner like I told him to told you saw. And she smiles. And Ben's like, well, I don't think Daisy's, he's like, I don't think Daisy's right in any shape. all form little barley sugar bladder

you you bouncy boncical you so they all sit at the table and they start serving and everything and Ben is making this pasta really quickly

and people are getting impatient because obviously dinner is slowed down because he has to make pasta now. And they're like, where's dinner? Where's dinner? But guess what? Guess what saves the day? Once again, crispy duck spring rolls, the unsung hero of below deck. Yeah. Making unhappy guests happy in the blink of an eye. And then he loves that, but he's having trouble timing his fish because he's got to make pasta and he's stressing out. And so now they serve the sauteed wahoo. And they're like, oh, the sex. Um, it's tough. Yeah. So then back in the galley, Ben's like, oh, God, Ellie, we

didn't set a timer for the pasta. She's like, oh, so it's not good? It's like, well, it's like, nearly okay. God, this is going to fuck us. So someone, they're still talking about their fish. And one girl's like, this is over-cooked. I hate that. It's like, really? I mean, it's the toughness, right? That's the thing. It's like, yeah, it's like prison fish. It's prison-fish. Like, ma'am, you've not been to prison. I'm sure this is not like prison-fish. Prison fish. They should be so lucky. Prisoners are like, what the hell we get fish? Yeah. Did I not have that on my preference seat? Why are you doing the mush? So tonight at the Rarikas Island, we'll be serving a sauteed wahoo along with a friset salad and a chocolate cake for dessert.

So hold on. Between courses, I would like to introduce our three-piece quartet of that. Three people playing four instruments, four violins. Sorry, it's a prison. Just a little low budget. Go ahead. One moment, we have a lemon sorbet course just to clean the palate. Before we have a study in cabbage to done a rosemary soil. Cabbage three ways. So one of the women is like, oh my God, you guys are totally talking behind Ben's back.

And Joanna goes, no, I mean, if he asks, I would tell him. But he never asks. He never asks, who wants to know what Joanna thinks? Is a slide appropriate on the side of a boat? I don't think so, but no one knows because they sure didn't ask Joanna. Okay? The problem is with Ben, he's freaking slow as molasses. Dun dun dun.

Meanwhile, yeah, they're just sitting there. They're getting bored. Like, has Ben awake? What's going on? Where's our pasta? Where's our pasta? And downstairs, Eddie is in his tripper outfit. And he's like, you know?

And Jenna's laughing. And she's like, I love it as well. And he's like, I didn't want to end things at all with Jenna. And she did. but definitely there's still something there. So I do feel like I've got a chance. Yeah. You don't have a chance.

You don't. Or please, I hope you don't have a chance. Your chance is stronger with you shirtless and ripped. I will say that. But still not. He was way more ripped than I was expecting. Me too. But it's still, you know, so just as long as you could put a bag over your personality, you know.

So then the stews serve the pasta. and they're like, well, thank God this isn't overcooked. Am I right? Yeah. And then after dinner, they actually really love the pasta. And then it's time to bring out this cake, which we didn't really mention, well, the cake is shaped like a sphinx for no good reason. And so Batole sees it and goes, what is that? Sphinx?

He's like, yeah, you see it. She's like, wow. What? So good. you think so yeah let's just transfixed by the sphinxed by the sphinx i think i thought she didn't like it i think she was like what the fuck is what are you doing because he's trying to like shape it to make it's supposed to be a leopard not a sphinx oh i thought it was a sphinx too oh it's a leopard it was a leopard it was it a leopard i don't know but i'm saying it was supposed to be a leopard

but was he doing since the lion which is close to leopard i mean i think I think when you say leopard, you're into spots. Yeah. I think it has to be spots. But whatever. It's crazy. And he's got like, what was it all? Has the tail like a big, a wheat?

Was it wheat? What was it? Yeah, he was putting this like, random like wheat frond or something. He was like sticking in the back that looks ridiculous. Honestly, but were me, I would have, first of all, cleared it with the guests, but I would have done like a, I would have done like an orange chocolate chipcake, you know? Something where it's like sort of like an orangey white. sponge, but it has speckles of black chocolate chips inside of it, right? Is that leopard? I don't know. I think you have to like put that. I mean, he did put that candy coating on it. What's it called?

Fens. Fondant. Yeah. He did use some kind of fondant because we saw that nobody ate the fondon. So yeah, I would think you'd have to do some kind of fondant painting with it. Yeah. Or if it's vanilla cake, just take dye and then, you know, you know, know, die the top, or dye different icings and make it like that. I mean, I don't know. Get artistic. It would have been a good case for a mirror glaze. He should have gotten Dave in his mirror glaze. Dave in his mirror. He could have done like a, like something that sort of spoke of leopard, like sort of yellow and yellow and brown sort of on top, kind of tie-dye-ish.

Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. So now it's time for the strippers. So they go downstairs and they tell Joanna. to sit like cabaret style on her chair. And she's like, well, I'm not wearing any underwear. So I don't have you guys are over there.

You want to talk about over-cooked? And they're like, okay, just sit regular. So boys, you want to, you want to see my an jovie? Get in here. So they do a strip tease for her. They can both do the worm or whatever that's called, which is pretty impressive. And then, I mean, I didn't get a boner. I mean, I don't really judge strippers.

My weiner does. My weaner said no. But I was impressed that they could do a worm because, like, honestly, it's hard to get out of bed even. Trippers love that move. That's, like, where you're standing. And then they do that thing where they look like they're about to, like, jump down into a pushup. But then they rise up again in a warm fashion. They're like, isn't that the sexiest thing you've ever seen?

Yeah. I mean, that would be broken elbows if that was me. But, you know, it's cool to see somebody do that. And Joanna is like, yeah, you know, loving it. And so then Mike is now back in his natural habitat. He's like, this is all I needed. Now I'm back. I'm back. Me, Mike, back in my natural habitat. Your natural habitat is not stripping. Stop it. Your natural habitat is a cave under a bridge. He's a little troll.

So he's a cave and a bridge troll at the same time. He's double trolling it. He's double troll. He's double troll. He's by trollish. He's by trollish. He's a mixed troll heritage. Yes. He's a. He's a big melting pot of troll culture. So the cake comes out now. And she's like, is that a leopard? And West goes, yeah, from Egypt.

She goes, wow, that's something, Magic Mike and friends. Thank you now. In case anybody's not grossed out enough from the stripping, watch how I blow out these candles. I know. They're like, oh, my God, Joanna. Jesus, Joanna. The weed thing is just like all soggy at the back of it now.

Did we just all forget the pandemic? I mean, or are we just like, well, that never happened. I just, why are we still doing, how did we have five years of being stuck in our homes? And nobody thought of a better tradition than blowing out a candle on a fucking edible thing. Why? Seriously. Well, also, it's just like, yes, you know, COVID-19 is not as scary as it once was. but we could take some lessons from it, like how we wash our hands or, and a greater awareness of how we spread germs and how we keep people from getting our germs.

So, like, you don't need to, like, you know, you don't need to spray a cake with your pasta mouth, okay? You know what I do when it's my birthday, they bring me a cake, I take off the candle, and I blow it out, and I put it on the table. Who am I going to blow on the cake? It's disgusting. I don't want people eating my chewed up anchovy pasta. Yeah. Yeah. That's very considerate of you.

Thank you. I'm a good person. You would know it from listening to this show, but when it comes to birthday candles, that's where I really shine as a person. If I ever, when I die and I'm at the gates of heaven, and they're like, Ronnie, you have said the meanest shit in your life? And I'll be like, but have you seen how I blow out a birthday candle? Thank you. Deserve a mansion on the hill. Okay, not next to Gabriel.

He's really loud. Anywhere else would be great. The measure of a man is how well he blows out a birthday candle. So they love the cake. They're like, oh, vanilla, wonderful. I love this vanilla cake. I mean, of course, they love a vanilla cake. And Daisy's like, oh, made a new cake.

You're welcome, Ben. You know what? Because they're all so impressed that he made a new cake, right? So now it's the next morning. And Daisy and Joao are talking in the crew mess. And he's like, I've been waiting to pursue Daisy. because I didn't want to hurt Ellie more than I had already. But now that that is Zim over, I can't help but being drawn towards her.

So, Daisy's like, I thought at this point, Joie would have come to me and said, I like you, or whatever. But he is not making a move. He's like Ben, dealing with guests. He's saying nothing. So very confusing. So Ellie sees this, because they're doing this in the crew mess. They're kind of flirting. And so Ellie sees that.

It is disgusting. No life behavior. I know. It's all right. Just ignore it. pathetic manipulative trash can. Okay, well, that's pretty good. And then Mike and Alicia are in the pantry, and she's like,

oh, Mike, did you come up here to help me? He's like, well, I haven't been asked to. So I just thought I would. Oh, thank you, Mike. Which is a surprising moment of camaraderie between the two of them. So then there's just more cooking, and the guests are eating their breakfast. They're very happy. And when they're eating it, when they're eating the breakfast,

They make this weird joke. One of them says, like, yeah, this breakfast is great. They give them a side of peanut butter. No, they give them a side of peanut butter for their toast or something. And he goes, could you turn that into cookies? She's like, oh, well, I can talk about it to the chef. So she runs down and she's like, hey, she's like, hey, Ben, sorry to mention this, but I think they really want homemade cookies.

I don't know if that's something that's doable. Thank you. Peanut butter. Peanut butter cookies. Something, cookies. and she leaves, and Ellie's like, Remarkable. You say, let's take 30 minute break,

then one minute later, Daisy comes in and says, By the way, homemade cookies. Well, because they had literally just sat down for a break. So Ben's like, Did the guests ask for the cookies, or is this your idea? Try to guess, although I love them, they're sort of the enemy, because we're trying to please them,

and they're quite often trying to make our lives difficult. And it seems like Daisy is kind of joining in their fun, I'm like, Daisy is anticipating their needs in order to get a better tip. They literally said, make cookies. I mean, they didn't say, can you make cookies? But he put it out there. And once a guest puts it out there, you know, a five-star, five-star yacht will make sure those cookies materialize. But again, it's Daisy's communication.

I don't even like really getting on Daisy because I don't feel like she's doing anything wrong. It's just like when you're dealing with Ben, just go say, hey, Ben, they requested her. homemade cookies. Don't say like, maybe it would be a good idea or no, no, no, just put it on the guests. Why put it on yourself? Just say the guest requested that. Yeah, yeah, just saying. So Ben starts making the cookies, which by the way, if you're a chef, making a batch of cookies is not a terribly difficult thing to do, I'd like to add. So they probably spent more time arguing about whether or not to make the cookies than just how long it would take to just make the cookies.

So now Alicia and Mike are cleaning. And Lisa's like, thanks for you. I hope this charter. He's like, oh, it's been my pleasure. Yeah, I just have to last charter

squast swabble. It's just nice to know that we have each other's backs. He's like, yeah, well, I don't know if I'd go that far. Oh,

I knew you're going to have some sort of a bottle. I'm like, yeah, this is not going to last. This whatever sees fire these two have going on. So now back in the galley, Ben's like,

all right, do they want the cookies after lunch or what? Like, I haven't told them you're making them. I've just heard comments about cookies, so I thought it was a good idea to make them. He goes, oh, yeah, I bet you did.

Yeah, that's what I thought. All right, nice job, Daisy. All right, shoe, shoe, and he gives her, like, shoe hand and shoes her off. And she's like, what the fuck? And Daisy does not like that. And Ellie's like, when do they want the cookies? I don't know. They have a desk.

Like, this is ridiculous. I mean, what is happening here? Am I right, love? I mean, honeybuns, get it together. Okay, so Ellie's laughing. And the Daisy comes back in, and she's like, I didn't say, You have to make these cookies. I said if it was possible, it's a good suggestion to make the cookies.

I made them. Great. And I'm telling the guests you're going to fucking love it, because I do things to help you. So please, don't shoot me like I'm a fucking dog. Well, you had a little smirk on your face. She's like, a smirk on my face. This is my face. He's like, yeah, you did.

You did, Daisy, and I think we're done here. Thank you. I made the cookies. We should all be very proud. You know, the first person who accused me of having a smirk on my face, the doctor who delivered me, you fuck. Make me some croquets. I used to be in a band in high school

called the Rolling Stones and I was Smirk Jagger. Okay? Get on with it. It's weird that I had the parody name, but the band was actually named exactly the same name as the real Rolling Stones. She's like, you want to see the season with no more suggestions?

Absolutely fucking fine. Figure it out yourself. Let's see how that's. scores. I love her. I just love her going off on Ben. It's just so great. I feel like no one else does it to him, and he's needed this, you know?

Hannah and, I mean, Hannah and Kate did an excellent job going at him, but Daisy is just, like, her exasperation with him is just so pure. I just, it feeds my soul. So then Daisy goes to Jenna, and she's like, we just had a big fight. He can use me like a punching bag.

Like he does everybody else, but fucking shoot me like I'm a fucking dog. I'm annoyed as well because I feel like it's sending Ellie the wrong message being like it's okay. You don't respect, ma. Yeah, that's not cool. I don't want that. I don't want to cut up with that anymore. Shut up, this isn't about you.

So now we go to the galley and Ben's like, she did have a smirk on her face. You saw it right, Ellie. That's what annoyed me. I did not give a fuck. You saw that too, right? My little chocolate cerebrum. Tell me. Tell me you saw it. It's like, you are so right, Ben. and this is what you need to work together as chefs or in a kitchen. This is what you need.

You need to hate everybody on the floor together. Yeah. I like that. I like the visual demonstration of the together with your fingers. Those are two like whisks together. It's like your two half of the whisk. You're two candles fingers because you just touch the candle. So Jason is like, all right, everyone.

All right. or lifting anchor, we're coming in for docking. And then meanwhile, everyone gets served filet mignon for lunch, as well as fresh cookies. And Joanna goes, did you make cookies? No, you did not. I am very happy you made the cookies. Now tell me, are they my favorite cookie, pasta, anchovy, lemon cookies? So good.

Where are the leopard spots? Where are the leopard spots on these cookies? And even the steak is good. This is a redeeming steak. God, because you really stank it up the rest of the time. Thank God, steak and cookies for this idiot finally redeemed himself. What a loser. Here we have some homemade chocolate chip cookies with an icing dip.

So you're welcome to whoever had the great idea of making your passing comment into a reality. You're welcome. And Joanna goes, oh, Ben. Wow, he's really killing it in the final stretch here. He's bringing it in the end. Wow. It's like a person who came out and finally sang a song in The Curtain Call. It's like an 11 o'clock number, except it happens to be about 1.45 p.m.

So Daisy's like, told us all. And then she goes to the pantry, and she's telling Jenna, did you hear that? Oh, sorry for getting your fucking brownie points to help you with their fucking redemption. Yeah, seriously. But she's also eating them in the confessional, and she's like, they're actually pretty good. So then the redock. And Ben and Jow were in their cabin.

And Ben is like, Me and Daisy aren't doing too well today. Apparently, she's offended. Ha, ha, ha. You're offending someone. I don't Zim believe it. It wasn't that. I mean, fucking hell, that smirk, smirk on her face.

Well, why don't we just do an adult dinner tonight? You, me, and Daisy, we can settle it over dinner. I don't know. Why not? We could have a little HOD head of department dinner. It's a house of the dragon dinner. We should do it together. Should Rainera be a lesbian?

It's a departure from the book, but it's fun. Yes or no? I don't know because I can't remember who's who on that show, because they all have the same name. It's been five years since it's been on television. So why are you asking me? They're all blonde. Yeah, we need to start a rewatch of that.

We're going to have to start covering that in about a month. That's a lot of episodes. I'm in the House of the Dragon. It's like June 10th or something. June 9th or 10th. It's coming back. June 21st. June 21st.

We should do like a trailer trash for that. Yes. Have they released a trailer? Yeah. A trailer came out yesterday. Yeah. I saw a lot of black. Let me guess.

Okay, this is my impersonation of the trailer. Both things have been set into motion. You cannot do that. We must do it. The fate of the kingdom relies on this moment. You rely on this moment. I can't see you. It's too dark in here.

Well, I told them to turn on the lions. There is no lights. Ooh, the sage, the wisdom. them has come. My son. Don't, don't, don. House of the Dragon. Um, so then, uh, the guests, uh, turn in their comment cards because it's over. And they're hugging the crew goodbye and saying thank you and everything. And then we go to Joao and Daisy and, uh, dinner's on. Okay. Dinner is on. Ben's like, what are you doing? Having an HOD meeting without me. He's trying to persuade me to come to dinner as an as an house of the dragon. Well, we're older. We're, you know, we're, you know,

We're all HODs. I'm into it. I'm into it. So Mike comes by and Daisy's like, we're going to dinner as HODs, but we're going to meet you after. And he's like, perfect, perfect. So then Mike and Ben are in the master and Mike's like, oh, you're having a head of department meal, yeah? That's not fun. Well, Mike, you're a dex too, right? Think about it. You're the head of the Dextu Department. Mike's like, yeah, I am the only Dextu.

That means I'm the head of the Dextu Department. You're right. So you're allowed to come to the dinner, mate. Daisy's going to love it. You're an H-O-D. And in fact, I will call you Daisy. Because in the spirit of house the dragons, you will have a very similar name to someone else,

but it'll be slightly different. Daisy. Now, first I have to say, this is so gross. He goes into the bedroom, Ben, and he's all sweating gross after work. And then he lays down on the undressed bed and pillow. and just goes to sleep. No, that's a guest bed.

At least wait for the sheets to be cleaned. So gross. I agree. He's gross. So now it's time for tip mating, tip mating, tip mating, tip meeting. And Jason's looking at all the comment cards, which are really, they complain mainly about the food. So they're all there. But Ben is not there because he's still in his, in the primary suite.

He was napping and now he's getting ready. And they're all there waiting for him. And Daisy's like, Bon being late to the tip meeting. There's a classic example of what is going down in the galley. He doesn't respect anyone's time. And honestly, I'm so fucking done with this. He does not belong on that throne. It's mine.

It is my sons. They think I can't take the throne just because I'm a woman. Well, you've got another cookie cooking. So Jason comes in. Yeah, I'm sorry, God. Yeah. All right. everyone. It's time for the tip meeting.

It was a really, there was a good, nice charter. And Daisy's like, oh, just really quickly, Ben's not here. I don't think that we should start without him. And I just wanted to make sure everyone saw that Ben is not here. Okay, continue. So meanwhile, Ben's taking a sweet time and he finally comes up. And Jason's

like, oh, wow, everyone. Round of applause for Ben. Ben, I called it on the radio. I want everyone here. I need you to set a standard for everyone else as well. That does not apply to the hair. I do not want to see Sparky here on anyone else in here. All right. So Ben finally sits down. Yeah, as you said, and he's like, so across the board, the reviews say it all. There's still a lot to do with food. Going through

these, though, and they like the fish dish, the food need more seasoning. What could be improved? The food, the food, the food, same thing that's coming in over and over again. And there's only one way to get it fixed. And that's to talk about it. So talk about food. What do you guys like to eat? You guys like potatoes. Who here likes potatoes? Now, okay, who likes, Fish sticks. Fish sticks. All right, we're just going to talk it out, guys. Communication, meal planning.

The best part of it, Magic Mike. All right. Literally, no one in history has ever said that about Mike stripping. But there we go. Also, we got $28,000 today. Isn't that, that is crazy that they did that. I was shocked. Like a one-day charter that they got such a big tip.

And of course, Mike takes all the credit. He goes, personally, this big tip that we got was because of me. I'm going to have to use all my charter tips to stock up on the history. It was not because of you. it's because they got a leopard cake, they got fresh cookies, and there was a redemption steak. Yeah. So Jason is like, well, the helmet's going to go to Bin. Bin, I had to start to keep meeting without you. Enjoy the helmet. He's like, well, I'm slightly embarrassed, okay? But I don't think I'll be wearing this tonight, but I will carry it with me. So thank you. So, Daisy's like, all right, team, we need to have a chart. Okay. And so Mike is like, Daisy, I do need to have a chat with you about something.

So they had the department's Mike is HOD. So should I do it? They're like, no, no, no, no. You're not head of department. It's like, I'm the only one in my department. That doesn't matter. You're not out of the throne. You're not an HOD.

So he goes away with Jenny. He's like, I think people are worried about power I could potentially have. I can't hear this anymore. Because it starts as like a little joke, but then he starts believing it or something. I think it's like he weirdly does believe it. It's like, that's actually a really good idea. I'm actually the head of my department. And he doesn't let it go and makes it real.

He's a weird little man. He also just like knows that's going to annoy everyone. So he just goes with it. He's just like a little twerk. Like this is, he's got such little brother energy. And it's like, it's just too annoying to do that. And you're just, you're on a, you're at work. Like that you don't do that energy at work.

You know, maybe amongst your friends or your family or something. but like not at work. Yeah. So then Ben's like, oh God, look at these comic calls, just pathetic. What, how can I have the disco helmet anyway? They're not supposed to give heads of department the disco helmet. Come on. Yeah, well, they did.

Commercials. Here comes one right now. So they're preparing for dinner and everything. And Daisy is wearing a fish dress. which is very, uh, amusing. And, you know, maybe that's a good time since there's a fish dress to do a, a fish report. Fish report. Fish report.

Oh my God. It's a fish report. Um, okay, this, we start with a gigantic fish that is colored like the rock. It's purple. It's a beautiful fish. And it's surrounded by all these little teeny tiny fish. Hmm. It's like the big head honcho.

Yeah, at first, I didn't even see the big fish. I just saw the little fish. And I was like, why are they bothering me with these basic ass fish? And then you see this gigantic hell of a fish behind it. It's like a perfect fish. It's like when you draw a fish, like that's the fish you draw. You know, it's like exactly the most prototypical fish. It's like a fit model for fish.

Yeah. And this fish is exhausted. Like, look at its fin. It looks like a big rock and it's not moving at all. And it's like combed forward. It's like I'm just, am I still here? I'm still alive.

It's like I'm exhausted. Yeah. It's from 1973. And he needs to wax that thing because look at these little goldfish hanging off of it. Yeah. Wax it. It's constantly pestered by fans. Just want some privacy.

Yeah. So then we go to this fish and Daisy's boobs. I don't know why they're the same thing, but Daisy's boobs are here and the fish is here. This fish has beautiful. um, oyster shell patterns. I mean, I don't know what you, what you would call this. They look, it looks like jewelry.

It's beautiful. Yeah, it's like a, they look like sequins that are laid flat. And, um, yeah, and also like a nice, nice bit of, um, eye shadow, like some yellow eye shadow going on, which is a nice touch. This, she definitely is, um, if you see her at a party, she'll take like one little nibble of something and she goes, I actually ate beforehand. So, um, they're like, oh my God. We know, but you've been dieting for 10 years.

And just wearing red leggings is not tricking anybody. Because she's like trying to wear like a big shirt and then little leggings. She's got this like red stripe down her belly. She's like, I just, you know what? I'm not someone who gets hungry very often. It's just I'm naturally kind of skinny. So it's just how it is. You're not bullying us, Mayor.

It's my body type. So then we go to, um, uh, This little generic fish little town it's like a little town a fish little town Yeah, huh this is a nice they're nicely color they're very loud I like the emphasis on purple It wasn't a huge fish week. I'm gonna tell you a lot of little basic fish you know there's only like one or two I think there was like one turtle that like caught my eye But but but uh last week was a real humdinger but here's what I well yeah this one's but here's I I had it on still so let me show you I think why this stood out to me because now I see it now that it's playing. I love the fish choreography in this. If you really look at it, it's beautiful. You've got these fish coming up from the left and then they cross

these fish and then boom. It's like this big cascade of fish. It's actually a decent choreography. These fish are together. They're not like, look at them. Look how uniform they are. They're all, even their fins are moving at the exact same time. They're not sloppy fish. And we've been doing this for weeks now and we've seen a lot of sloppy asses. fish. We're like, I'm going here. I'm going there. It's like school doesn't work. It's like America right now. Everyone's like, what is going on with schools? Why don't they work? And this is a school that works. It's a Montessori school of fish.

And it makes me almost, I'm always so impressed that the fish don't get confused and wind up, like, trailing off into another school. And then we'll be like, wait a second, I'm with all the sardines. This isn't my class. Yeah, but let me tell you, this class is like on a on a vacation somewhere. and they're all like the perfect school, even their uniforms are all perfectly done, perfectly pressed. Yeah. Look at the other schools that are also there.

You see them behind them? They're chaotic. They're like, do you even have teachers? It's like, what's the point of you're going to school if you're just homeschooled? You know what I mean?

They're just trying to form their school. They're like, do you want to be in school together? You want to be in school? But the purple crew is like, we're set. We're honoring a prince on the 10-year anniversary of his death,

which was this past weekend. Oh, I think he hated gay people. Okay, so then we see this fish, this little chicken bucket fish. This was the Lisa Renna fish, I think. Yeah, this was the Lisa Renna fish. If you're looking at it straight, it's very cute. But if you look at it from the profile, it's just an ugly fish. You see all the issues.

I also do like that this fish seems to be talking to us because there's a caption that says, see you in a little bit. But it looks like the fish is saying it. Like, ah, see you a little bit. Because it's also giving us like an eye. It's like, it's already like moving away from us, but his eyes looking back. Like, okay, well, seen a bit. Like, we already bored this fish.

I'm like, you're the ugly one. I think it's just trying to avoid Mike getting naked again because Mike is up on the screen, getting naked. Yeah. I think this is a puffer fish from the side. Because normally the puffer fishes are adorable, but you're right. Profile is not their strong feature. Then this, I get it because I'm like that. Like, I'm cuter this way, like straight on.

That's why I like the videos this way? You were like, why don't we do the videos maybe facing a little to the side? Because this is what I look like to the side. This is how I look cute. This is how I look great from the side. No, I look like this pufferfish. By the way, I didn't want to do the videos. I did not want to do the videos in profile.

If anyone who doesn't want to do profiles. Three quarter. Because I've got this chin that sticks out like a helipad. Stop it. But, you know, three quarter, three quarter. Three quarter. It's not, I knew straight on. So like this puffer fish.

Okay, so then we go to, okay, this, we've seen a lot of stingrays, tons of them. A lot. The reason I like this one is because, It's like our first gay stingray. Look at it. It's like, yes. Flapping it. It's like wearing a cape and just flapping it all over the place.

Yeah. I really like that too. I noticed that as well. Like as opposed to the standard, Oh, I'm a stingray. Just floating along. Hi, I'm Teddy. This one is actually doing some sort of like flamenco dancing.

Yes. And like moving the hem of its dress around a bit, you know? It like doesn't like this rock. And so it's like flapping its dress over the rock. It's like, ha, ha. Sorry, did that hit you as I passed? Didn't see you there, rock. It has like a little bit of a reveal, an accent color.

It's like, yes, I may look gray, but look under here. It's white. Yes. It's great. I love it. A peekaboo moment. Now Mike is in his underwear. Why do we need this during Fish Report?

Like, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, yeah. Let's crop them out. Can we crop them out? Is there any way to crop them out? No. Look at this goldfish, though. This goldfish is almost like in a music video from 1992.

Like, I feel like they might be giant should be playing. But it has sat. It has such a sad look because it's facing Mike. It's like, why? Why are you subjecting me to this? Well, it's a bit out of proportion, this goldfish. And I think it knows it. It's like, my eye is so big.

I know. It's like, people tell me I should be a model, but nobody wants to date me. It just has like a strange kind of shaped, this whole fish. Like, its mouth is up a little bit too high. Its body is like, I don't know, like its fins are very, distinct it just it's doing weird things this fish this fish and then knows it just being i don't like making fun of it because look how sad it looks yeah it looks hey you with the sad eyes don't be discouraged i bet it books a lot of commercials in fish television like it's like definitely

a character actor and it's like saline solution or like it's the one it's like the fish that says time to make the donuts you know time to make the donuts. Okay, here's what fish is not forced to look at Mike taking off his clothes, and that is this fabulously printed stingray. Wow. Yeah. Now, this is a leopard cake. Yeah. This is a, and what's great is it's swimming over like the seabed, but the seabed sort of looks like a bunch of trees. So it looks like the stingray is just flying over our heads. Yeah. And it's amazing. I just can't stress enough how beautiful the coat is on this thing. It's Yeah.

Circles and it's not just splotches. It's like drawn circles with a hole in the middle and the lines as well. It's beautiful. It's like Louis Vuitton. It really is. It is like a Louis Vuitton pattern. Oh my God. Why has this pattern not become a thing in fashion? You know, I guess that's because with like leopard, you could, in the olden days, you'd

kill a leopard and take its hide and turn it into something. But like, I think this is a great pattern for a fabric. I'm going to be like, yeah, let's make Stingray a thing. This is good luggage. So then we go to this little guy. Mostly we've seen this shark thing many times. Shark eel thing. I forget.

Someone told us what they were called. I forgot. But we get a special shot of it where it's like going slow and it's like, boom, it's right in your face. Yeah, it's kind of like, watch out, everyone. It's like, has anyone seen my wife? Has anyone seen my wife? It's like, right.

To your left. To your left. She's leaving you. She's running. She's still running from you. Okay, so then we get him again. And then look at this turtle. This turtle is hilarious.

It's literally sitting on its butt with its elbows on the table, just staring at us. Like, how many fucking shots do you guys want? You're paying me a day rate and you want me to stay here for what? 19 days. You're getting, that's it. I want a cigarette. This turtle, this was the turtle that stood out to me. This turtle is like meditating on the, on a, on subcoral.

I feel like we've never seen the sea turtles actually sitting down. They're always floating around, doing something weird, eating like a piece of plastic, like sticking their head up above water. This is the first time where you've seen one and be like, you know what? I just want to break. I've had a long day. I got a coffee. I'd like coffee and I'm onto Cristo, please. Hey, you guys.

I'm hiding behind a rock. You're still following me with the fucking camera. Get this mic off me. Seriously. It looks almost like it found a giant rice cake. It's like, guess what, guys? I'm going to snack well today. It does.

These things taste like shit, but hey, listen, I ain't getting any thinner. Yours don't help. and that was the fish fish report now we're done with the fish report it was not a strong week not a strong week I give it to the turtle fish of the week goes to the turtle for me

okay yeah I'm gonna stick with the purple school of fish I thought their choreography was good I love their outfits and I love seeing teamwork okay that's a surprise choice those tiny purple fish, but I will support you. You know.

So there are no small parts, only small fish. Ensemble needs to be recognized sometimes. Yes. So now Mike walks upstairs with Jenna and he's like, oh, people are thinking of my power. She's like, shut up. So then Joao asked Daisy what she's wearing for dinner. And then Jenna, everyone's getting ready to go out on the town.

It's going to be fun, you guys. Wow. So now Daisy, Joao and Ben go to dinner. And they toast. And Ben's like, to Daisy. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I did it. Look at me. Being nice, charming band. To Daisy, everybody. Hey, Daisy, would you like to tell someone here at this restaurant they should make some cookies?

Maybe if they'd like to. I'm sure they'd love it. Well, and cheers to getting this far to finishing the battle with pride. Is there a pride? Am I getting an apology? Can pride be made into a cookie? It's like, I don't know what it is, but you're going to have to go over that one. What's the issue? Why do I need an apology? you. Oh, fuck off, Ben. Don't fucking do this. Just rip the band-aid and just say I'm sorry I was a dick. That's so difficult. Why? Because of your pride. No, because I don't remember what happened. I mean, I was sweating a fly, Daisy. Come on. Is that what I did?

She said, yeah, it was rude. I was swatting a fly. I was the fly. I was the fly. You use people as a punching bag and then when you get called out for it, you use your charm to swim out of it. You did it with Ali. You did it with Alicia. You did it with Alicia. You. You used people as a punching bag. You're You're smiling, you say, I don't remember. Come on, you make every other excuse. Come on, Ben. Well, you've got to understand my little jello, jiggle jamboree. That's when they, you know, when you said, well, they didn't actually ask for cookies.

And you were kind of smirking. And so was Jenna and Elena, she saw you smiling. And I say, oh, I bet she fucking did. Why don't we fucking dive into that? this whole getting Ellie to back you up, I felt like you were empowering her to almost undermine me. And when you shoo me out of your galley in front of her, she also smirks.

So guess what? The one who had the smirk on her face was Ellie, not me. Well, listen here, your little donut duramatta. The thing is, um, okay, look, how about this? How about I just apologize? She's like, thank you. That would be great.

All right. Now, I apologize, and this is a hug apology. You want a hug? Come on, let's have a hug. So they hug. And he's like, I love you. I didn't mean it all right. Now, go away.

Shoot, go ahead. Go, damn it. You're doing it again. I like how Daisy says, you always get into trouble, and you always get out of it by just using your charm every single time. It's like, all right. Well, I apologize and I'll hug you, and I'm going to smile and wink at you. Oh, okay, all is forgiven.

Despite everything, I get Daisy, and she gets me. And it would be a shame to lose that. And between you and I, if Daisy feels like I are an apology, then, oh, I probably owe her an apology. I still don't know why and won't admit to anything wrong, but I'll give her what she wants. Sorry, Tuts. Slap on the ass, carry on. So now, everyone else, the non-HODs, are having dinner on the boat. And they're just sort of, like, talking and Eddie is just saying, like, I think everybody needs to step.

up a bit and follow along with Mikey standards. And Mike is like, yeah, there needs to be more Dex II head of department meetings. And Ellie's like, oh, you're the HOD. Your HOD of only department you're in. That's what it is. So, Jenna is like rolling her eyes because she hates

that Mike is doing this whole thing. Yeah, I'm Eddie's like, it's sarcasm. The difference between good sarcasm and bad sarcasm. The good sarcasm is when I tell you, we have a chance. The bad sarcasm was that?

And then he's like, but that's called British humor. Oh, no. No, no. No, no. You don't get to pull in. You don't get to pull in British humor on this one. And listen, I'm a huge defender of that phrase on Bravo. You don't get it, Eddie. Yeah. So back at the HOD dinner, Daisy's like, all right, let's get to the fun stuff. Who do you fancy? Oh, well, he fancies Jenna, full stop. Wow. A hundred percent. That's who you giggled like a bunch of fucking school. girls. Well, now I obviously fancy Jenna. I think she's smart. I think she's cool. And every no and then, when I can understand what she's saying, she has interesting things to say.

Well, I think you guys suit each other more than anyone else on the Zim. And Daisy's like, I'm jealous. You have a vibe. Uh, what about you kids, eh? Such a bright future between you two. Don't fuck it up. Back on the boat, Mike is like, so everyone, should we play a game? What was the most enjoyable thing about the charter? And Eddie is like, no beach set up. And Jenna goes, okay, what was your high and you're low? He's like, well, mine was becoming the head of department. And she's like, uh, and he pulls out, he's like, makes like, he's taking the pizza box and he turns it over and he makes it like a little placard that says, uh, like, head of department. So she's like getting so annoyed by this.

Well, it means a lot because I was the only person. Yeah, in the department. And if you think about the two side of things, like I asked Jenna to come down and do a job of the deck and she could do it. She couldn't do it. So, you need someone like me. And Jenna's like, you think I can't move around fucking senders? God, he's winding me up. Is this a big fuck year today? San Daisy's deliberately told him to stop doing to start winding a rock. Take that smoke off. I smile explored. Like I slapped that smoke off your face and really like it fucking piss me off. So, uh, back at the other dinner, Daisy and Joao are smoking outside talking about Ben. And she's like, that is one strange man.

Tell me about it. The way he came into that meeting late. I felt like we're all a bit like, what the fuck, Ben? Well, the first time I've seen Jason go, I don't give a fuck. And I know the thing with Jason is, if you want to lose it, he can. So then Ben is like, what are you guys talking about? Like, Jason. Like, for the first time in my life, I've seen Jason go, I don't give a fuck if he's not here.

And that was for you. That should mean something for you, Ben. What's your problem, man? My gal it. Don't get defensive now, Zim. Yeah, don't. You need to keep your radio on you as what you need to do. He's like, I was trying to have a nap.

Good God. The only person you're disrespecting is Jason and Zimbabwe, and that's it. No, you're disrespecting the whole time. Oh, for the fuck's sake. Does everyone have a go at Ben, would you? Has anyone got anything interesting to say, are we just going to bitch at each other? I'm walking away.

You pick up the tab. Send me the bill. I'm kind of team Ben on this one. Brilliant. Love this fucking conversation. He's mantle. If he cannot differentiate between friendship and work, or even Zim and Non-Zim,

then it's his problem, not mine. It's his problem. It's his problem. It's his problem. Not mine. That was insane. He can't take any accountability. Ben's just like twatts. Listen, I've got to be Team Ben on.

on this one. He gave you your half-assed apology. What else do you want? At least he's funny. So I'll give him that. Go back to bed and the guest bedroom king. Damn. Yeah. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for being here for this episode. It was a pure delight for both of us. And we will catch you tomorrow with another brand new episode and keep an eye and an ear out for our bonus episode, which will be about restaurant wars on Top Chef. Bye, everyone. Bye. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Our way is the Amber way.

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