Watch What Crappens - #3348 RHORI S1E06: Newport News

Episode Date: May 4, 2026

The Real Housewives of Rhode Island head to Newport for a weekend in a mega mansion. On the itinerary: a lunch with dolls, a dinner with masks, and some very passive aggressive comments. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to watch what crap ends a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today, freshly broken up from his Sugar Daddy. It's Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? You okay? Hello. He is without Sugar Daddy now.

Just kidding. We're talking Real Housewives of Rhode Island today. Before we dive into that, get your tickets to. to our cabaret, if there are tickets left. Go to our website, watchwarkrappins.com. Go to our social media to find the links. That's where you will get your tickets. That's because we added a third show.

I forgot to mention the first two sold out. So we'd love to have you join us. Be sure to read our newsletter. It's called Read What Crappins. That's on Patreon. Patreon.com slash watch or crappens. And Patreon is also where we get our access to our weekly bonus episode, as well as crap is on demand where you can watch us a week before this content goes

on to YouTube, YouTube, YouTube. And also add free listening, all the good stuff. So go enrich your crappins experience in some way or another. Today, Rhode Island, it's big news. Kelsey, broken up with a boyfriend. And guess what? They're going to go to Newport. It's been all of, you know, 36 hours since they went to Newport.

But today, let's go back to Newport. Another day at Newport. Newport. There's nothing like a Newport mansion. There's nothing like a Newport mansion. Nothing like it. They're amazing. Newport Mansion. So Kelsey is saying, I've been lucky enough to be a lady of leisure for 10 years now.

My boyfriend's allowed me to live a life of not being able to work. And now I'm in a crossroads where I want more for myself. And then we cut over to Liz's house and Liz's looking at our cat. Like, Kansi, you want to walk? And then all of a sudden, bling, bling. She's like, oh, yeah, I got a notification on my phone. Let me see what's going on my phone. Oh, my God.

And then we see Alicia, Alicia walking outside with the daughter. And the daughter goes, it's so sunny today. I love the daughter. Has like Alicia's little, she has like a baby accent of Alicia. It's so fun. She does. It's so sunny today. And then Alicia's like, yeah, whatever.

Oh, my God. I got a text on my phone. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm literally dead. And then we see Joellen playing with her daughter while the rest of her family's in the pool. It's family day. And then she gets a text.

She'd go, ah, like Joelle was the most dramatic when she gets a cell phone text. What is the Joellen? Nothing, nothing, nothing. Nothing. I can't talk about it right now. So we think like, oh my God. I'm watching this thinking like, oh, my God, it's a picture of Brian.

Brian and his mistress out on the town. It's been, and now as official rule, it has nowhere else to look. But instead, it's Kelsey texting everyone saying, guys, we finally ended things. Break up as official. I'm moving out soon. Wow, Kelsey. That's crazy, surprising news.

You've brought your boyfriend to the last party. So your new boyfriend. I love that Kelsey thinks she's being so sneaky. You're literally dating someone else on camera, Kelsey. Okay. The rumors are that Kelsey was broken up before the show even began and that her ex-boyfriend was like, it's okay. You could just use the house.

Like shoot in the house. I don't care. I heard that. It would be nice story to give her something to do. So it's funny. this. She's like, now it's time, guys. It's time for my breakup storyline. Like, oh, you were fucking a guy on camera last week. Okay.

So the producer says, tell us the story of your breakup with your boyfriend. How did it go down? So then all of a sudden we see Liz and she's at her house and she's FaceTime and Kelsey. And she's like, hi, how you doing? I just read your text. Yeah, okay. She's like, I'm good. It's like, you got a lot of shit. going on. I'm good. What are you saying? You're good. You got so much shit. Come on, Kelsey. Just like, yeah, that's always like my knee jerk reaction to say, I'm good, even though I'm not. What is that beeping over there? I'm sorry, you know, I was trying to find a good red light for my face. And it's one of the supermarket, check out a checkout thing. It actually works really good.

You know, my cheekbone is $3.99. Listen, I just felt, well, that's a great deal. deal, great deal on your cheekbones, but you know what? You should wait till they're a few days old, though the price will go down. Anyway, I just feel like the relationship has ran its course. And there's like nothing more that I want to get out of this relationship or that's going to change. It'll be different than what it is now. I mean, how many times can you use a guy's barbershop sink before you say, you know what?

I'm getting a little tired of this, right? So it wasn't just one specific moment. It was like, you know, it wasn't just one where I said I'm leaving. It was like it just kept building and building. and every time I thought it couldn't get worse, it got worse. And by worse, I mean, nothing really happened. You know, like my relationship's unconventional. And so, like, you know, at one time there was one other person.

But as the years went on, there were more people than I initially thought, okay, Kelsey, you're in an open relationship with a very rich person. He said, you can live in my house and be my girlfriend here, but I'm still going to have girlfriends everywhere I go. Just that's all it needs to be. You don't need to make it some horrible thing like you were tricked. You were not tricked and you were dating someone last week. Stop. This town has the worst cheaters of any town that we've ever seen on. It's so sloppy.

It's so sloppy. Liz is like, I mean, look, I'm not surprised. And we see a flashback to when they had lunch in like the first episode. And Kelsey is like, I feel like for a long time, like I don't know what the right thing is to do. She's like, oh, honey, honey, honey, honey. You've never know what the right thing is to do. Okay, I know it's scary coming from a point of view of it all, having to a point of making it on your own,

but you can make it on your own. You could be a professional, uh, uh, a seed taker out of lemons, maybe, I don't know. What are your skills? I don't actually really know what your skills are on. You just live in a big house by yourself. You know, it's been a long time coming, but I'm proud of you, darling. You know, I know it wasn't easy.

It wasn't easy for you. She's like, but I want a real solid relationship. So she says, did you leave on good terms? And she says, yeah, we were in bed. And I was like, you know, I think the relationship has ran his course. And he said, he felt I was making the right decision. He didn't even fight it. He just said bye.

And then threw the welcome mat on top of my head, stamped on it a little bit. And threw an egg at me. That was uncomfortable. Then he turned the shower on and left the house. Really not sure what's called. going on with that guy. Well, you know what? That told you all you needed to know, babe.

It just tells you, you know, this way you don't have to have these ongoing feelings, right? See how I use that against you? Yeah, just give me some time. I was going to use ongoing against you. So Kelsey's like, yeah, he thought I was making the right decision for myself. And that's what he said. Word for word, we fell asleep hugging each other because we both knew like it was the end. It meant that no, he was about to dump you.

And he was like, oh, thank God. It's like the expired milk walking itself out of the refrigerator. Your date was up. You're with some older man who wants to take care of you in your 20s, okay? We know how this works. We've been watching these shows. We live in Los Angeles. Okay.

We know how this works. Yeah. He's like, oh, thank God. So she's like, it's the beginning over the rest of your life and I'm proud of you. Like, well, I'm going to find a place first and foremost. She's like, yeah, I'm here for you. I hope you. Don't you worry.

It's like, okay, yeah, I mean, I want to start maybe going through some of my stuff. Can you help me go through some of my stuff? You got stuff? I thought you just sort of live there. You got stuff? He's letting you keep all that stuff. It's like, yeah, thank you. I appreciate it.

You're a good friend. Well, unfortunately, we got rid of the boat. Yeah, I could have put you on the gypsy. That would have been fun. So now we go to, she's like, oh, you're going to have to have someone to see July. Come on. So you're going to get to these seeds of lemons. I'm not doing that.

It's disgusting. So now we go to Rosie's house where construction on their 45,000 square foot home is continuing. And she's like, oh, my God, I got a Versace bathing suit. And Rich is watching her because she's packing because they're going to go on their mid-season trip. So. I've got an awkward thing to say. I like Rich. is that weird?

Like, I think he's like kind of hot. And I can see how he plays Frank Sinatra with those blue eyes. And he seems very supportive. And look, is it cheesy that he's a Frank Sinatra DJ? Sure. But I'm pretty cheesy. I mean, I can get into that, you know? I could be like, can I be Liza?

I don't know. I don't find him to be a very set. You know, they're, um, uh, this is, uh, he seems fine. We're on a show where it's like the other options are like Billy and Brian. Although, I mean, obviously the real star is Joellen's husband. I mean, ever since that sauna scene. Gary and Frank Sinatra, I would do both. Gary is really, especially the way he stood up for Joe Ellen.

It was like, ooh, oh, Gary, Gary. Gary. Gary. Okay, so they're talking. She's saying, you know, like, I have to pack because I'm going to see a Newport Mansion. And he goes, well, you know, you should try that one on. I don't remember what it looks like, babe.

Like, I don't know what to tell you. Like, you want me to pick a bathing suit? Just pick a bathing suit. It's like, Rich, it's too much. Like, I'm depending on if everyone else is dressing like a slut, then I can dress like a slut. But I don't want to do it alone. He's like, right.

Gotcha. So anyway, Liz and Alicia are sitting up this trip. We're going to a Newport mansion. It's crazy. Like Newport mansions are unlike any other mansion. like there's big houses and then there are like the Newport mansions. They're very different. I mean, look, I don't care if I'm sitting in a mansion or like a motel.

Motel aid. What do I care? I don't care about that kind of stuff. Not really, you know, although I'm building up the perfect house. Yes. Watch out Newport mansions because Rosie has one coming on up. Rosie's got a garage build out that you are going to die over. She's turning a garage into a 30 million square foot home.

Gilded age mansions, whatever. Have you ever heard of aged mansions? I don't know. Not even age. It's brand new. What can I say? I lost my way. It's time for a commercial.

It's time for a crappence commercial. So, Rosie's like, she's saying that she's feeling good. She's excited for this trip. She goes, like, I was feeling really weird at the whole sailboat thing. But then at Polo, I was like, I need to. the course correct this like I'm gonna be so friendly and nice and I did that I did that I was like so friendly

at Polo and we see an example of that and we see Rosie opening some champagne and Joanne goes oh did you just open someone else's ball? She's like yeah do you want to come party? Let's go so nice hashtag so nice so nice

yeah and she's like I'm good with everybody except for Ashley and then we or Kelsey and then we see the boat fight over Instagram. How dare you not post my haircut on Instagram? Oh. And Rosie's like, I'm feeling less anxiety because, like, I feel like I'm in a good

place with people and I just don't want to have fights with anyone. He goes, yeah, baby, you know what? If you have a hard time, this is what you got to do. You got to go, I hear what you're saying, really looking to have a good time. Frank, I don't know if that works on the Frank Sinatra circuit, but this is Housewives, sir, okay? Yeah. Stay in your odd, fly me to the moon lane.

Fly me to the moon lane. He's just doing it his way. So Rosie says, these girls are relentless, but now everybody's yelled to me so we can move forward, right? Like, no, no, it doesn't work that way. Rosie sets herself up to be the biggest victim in this episode. Oh my gosh. But then by the end, I kind of get what she's saying. But at this point, I'm like, well, stop pissing everybody off and you'll be fine.

So we see flashbacks of everyone yelling at Rosie. And Rosie says, you know, we had fun at polo. So maybe we'll have fun on this trip too. I mean, I'm like turning the other cheek. Like nobody's business. Like Jesus would be so proud of me. Jesus is like, well, maybe if you weren't wearing that weird rhinestone thing over the side of your shoulder, I'd be a little more proud.

But, you know. Yeah, Jesus is like, if I had anything in common with your fashion sense, I'd crucify myself. Okay. Jesus Christ, you look like a uniform crashed into a, a wall. Yeah. So Rosie's like, wait, what did you just say? A uniform? Are you going to corn? A unicorn? You know that she's wearing like that brightly colored broken glass all over her. And that one outfit is like a thing. You look like the rainbow bridge was exploded. Okay.

I just have to keep reminding myself and not freezing up and getting weird. It's like, yeah, don't be a weirdo. It's like, yeah, just don't be weird. don't be weird. A lot of people that are big on-air personalities, like I am, you know, reporting on local ice cream shops on a regional television station on Saturday. On Saturday afternoons. People that are big on-air personalities like Diane Sawyer and me are actually not like that in real life.

Like I remember one time meeting Barbara Walters 10 years ago at a women in media event. And I was like, hi, Ms. Walters. And she said, get out of you. And I thought, wow, big personality just like me. Oh, God, that's the last time I barge into her dressing room. I mean, I can just be fake and be like, you know, be like Joe Ellen and just be like, hi, everybody. I mean, but I can't do that. I mean, if I do that, we won't make a genuine connection.

So it's up to you. Do you want fake Rosie or do you want Real Rosie? Because Real Rosie is going to walk in after just meeting you and accuse you of being a polygamist, okay, in front of everybody. So real Rosie seems like she's actually fake Rosie. I don't understand. It's so funny that she's having this whole thing about like, you know, like big on-air personalities were really very like timid on the inside. But like all she's been has been actually, I think relatively big.

She's shown up. She was like on her bouncing things in the first episode. She has her big pink things that she wears, her shattered unicorn horns, stuff on her shoulder. And like, her hair is big. Everything about Rosie is kind of like big and fake. and like, I'm here for TV. So it's just funny that she's acting like,

you know, I'm just going to be real because, like, people don't, like, like, you have to be careful with people who are, who are, like, fake or whatever. It just is, I just feel like she's been nothing but fake this entire time. Yeah. So Joellen goes to Sonia's, a clothing accessory home store.

God, they've got everything in there. And they're like, oh, my God, welcome in, honey. Well, you're at Joe Allen's now. I mean, you're at Sonia's now, honey. Okay. So you're going to have to have a glass of champagne. We only treat our customers the best. And she gives them champagne.

She's with her sister, by the way. So they go in. And this whole time, I'm just like, your sister is fucking your husband. Do you know that? Like, I mean, I know that's like an obvious thing for people to make fun of like, oh, yeah,

really? You're dating your sister's axe. But the sister does seem like she's fucking that husband, right? It does seem like it's happening. Yeah, I don't blame her. So they, they are trying on different looks and then Joellen tells us, I feel like I need a vacation. I'm Newport is one of my favorite places to go, especially during the summer.

And Jen is like, yeah, so have you been since the funeral? Because their grandfather died recently. Joel's like, I don't know. It's been a lot. I mean, just because people don't understand like until they've been through it, like that awful dead dad club. And now it's just like happen again with grandpa. And Jen's like, yeah, I know. He was like a second dad.

Like, yeah, but he was like always around. And like, when you and I were fighting. or like mom, like he's always the peacekeeper. Can we turn this into like bashing mom? Because it's my favorite thing to do. God, mom with the word, right? Less grandpa, less, more living people that we hate. Okay, let's go on to mom.

Mom sucks. She's always hated me. She's always loved you. She's like, no, no one hates you. She's like, yeah, mom had favorites. Jen and I grew up differently. You know, she was, I don't want to say the word favorite, but she was the favorite. Okay, call a spade of spade.

Just call a spade of spade. You know, it's like making me think about my kids. Like, I wish that mom felt like that about me. know, like that I feel about my own kids. Jump's like, but she does. She just doesn't show it the way you want her to show it, you know? But she 100 feels it. She really feels it for you, Joeline.

My relationship with my mother, like, you want like that monthly bond. And like, I just never had that in my whole life. Like, God, I mean, what a fucking bitch coming over babysitting my kids, you know, taking care of them, all that stuff. God, it drives me nuts. So we see a flashback of Joellen saying, like, thank you for watching the kids. And Nancy goes, her mom goes, well, I decided to fulfill my commitment. She's like, fulfill your commitment as a grandmother.

I'm like, I'm sorry. She was being tongue and cheek, right? Like, is that me? Am I crazy? I don't know. It's so hard with people and their mommy issues. As someone who had them for a very long time, I mean, I didn't really get better with mine until my 40s.

Let's face it. So I kind of get it. But I also don't necessarily want to hear about it, if that makes any sense. I'm like, oh, shut up. Just shop. For Christ's sake. Use a free babysitting. Like, now it's not the time.

So, um, she, which your kids are like, like 14 and then you can like for right now. You get, get all the free services. Okay. Like you still have that warranty. Use it. Well, especially because of what she says. So she says, um, you know,

her relationship with her mom has affected her marriage or friends or family. And she gets all of her love from her friends and her husband and her children and never from her mother. But I'm like, well, but you have so much love in your life? I don't know. But at one point, she's like, my mom, you know, they had me in a behavioral. I think she says this later, but she's like, my mom, my mom sent me to a behavioral place when I was young. And my parents did as well.

When I was 15, I went to one of these places. So, yeah, that's like some trauma for me. Look, I would say, I hate mommy issues. And I'm like, well, let me unpack mine for the next hour and a half. But with mine, I'm just like, yeah, that happened. but I was no angel. I mean, no angel gets sent to a behavioral health center.

You know what I mean? Like, there was shit that was deeper than that, that yeah, I have issues. I had issues with for a really long time that we had to work through. But it's not like I was just some angel.

So I'm like, so what part aren't you telling? Because for them to accept you to be a behavioral health center, something must have been going on. So what was it? Yeah, that's my thing. You know,

like I'm not, I don't want to blindly stand up for this mom, right? because like parents can be wretched. But I feel like getting sent to the behavioral center, I was like, I would like to know the full story. I want to know the, I would like to hear, I would like to see all the receipts.

I'd like this brought to Judge Judy, please. I like each side to plead there is a case. And then I will make my final decision of whether this was an example of the mom being a terror or an example of the child being a terror. And then I will make my final, my final pitch. But, yeah, it's not automatically standing up for the mom. It's automatically not.

The mom because I've seen a lot of these shows where I'm like, oh wait, she's in the wrong. And then I'm like, well, I kind of like her. I mean, listen, I do have a poster of Muzzy in my bedroom. You know, the thing is this is that the trailer is doing a lot of heavy lifting for me because like there were two trailers for this show. And one of them features the mom sobbing. I mean, like, I did the best that I could. So in my mind, I'm like, she did the best that she could. Okay.

Lay off. I'm just totally swayed by this older woman crying on TV. Yeah, well, that's a good way to be swayed, you know? Yeah. So she just goes on. And also, I think I have mother. I'm just overfilled. We've had so much of it on Bravo.

It's like housewife show after housewife show is mommy issues. You know, we had Bronwyn and her mom. We have Sutton and her mom. Who was right before that? I guess Jackie and her mom kind of, but that was older on, it's just a lot right in a row. I mean, there's always moms. But I think that, I think, you know what it is? that we really only met this mom once so far.

And all that we know is that she came over to babysit the kids. And Joellen's been talking shit about her ever since. And so I think it's just like we don't like we just, we need to feel it. Like, you know, with Bronwyn, we had some really riveting scenes with her mom or with Monica and her mom. You know,

we see them interacting. We're like, oh, shit. This is like, wow, this mom, she's so passive aggressive or wow. Look at what she's putting on to her daughter.

Mama Dee. and Deandra, one of the best duos we've seen on this. But here it's just like this mom with big hair comes over with her like NPR tote bag and it's like, all right, ready to baby sit. I'm here to

fulfill my, fulfill my motherly things, you know, and she's like, oh my God, fulfill your obligations. Yeah, you're bitching at somebody doing a favor on TV and it looks like you're being a shit head. And you're right. And all the ones that you just named, there was such like

pathos in the monica and her mom thing on salt lake city and in Bronwyn's thing i mean there's i need more like pathos or i need more camp i just i just can't have some sweet lady babysitting for free and then you being mean yeah just need more input but just give us more scenes with the moms then we can be like oh yeah she's a fucking bitch after all you know yeah we're willing to change our minds but for right now i i'm not buying it for me yeah and one of my one of my toxic traits is that every time the moms come on these shows and are like a fucking bitch to their daughters i love it i'm I'm always like, oh, she's so good. I'm always like, oh, more.

Okay, so then they go to, we go to Kelsey. Liz is over there to help Kelsey pack paper towels. I mean, I don't know what she's allowed to take from this house, but whatever it is, they're going to do it. So she's checking on her. And then Kelsey's like leaving this mansion. I'm terrified. You know, because I lived with my parents until I met my boyfriend. and I was 20 and I went straight from my parents' house to his house.

So this is like the first time where I'm like taking that step and like I'm literally going to be solo. Yeah. It's a it's a big step. I'm like, lady, you're 30. I'm sorry that this is a second scene in the row where I'm like, I don't feel for you. But I can't feel for someone who's like, I've literally just gotten all of this because I'm hot and it's so hard to think about like doing somebody's hair for a living.

Like, really? This is your pain? I'm supposed to feel for you. Like, I don't hate her or anything, but I'm not going to cry either, you know? So Liz goes, well, I'm a firm believer that there are no mistakes and you're at a pivotal point in life and you know what you want. And you know what Kelsey's like, who said anything about mistakes? Do you think that I made a mistake? No, no, I'm just saying if one would have think, oh, the past 10 years of your life were a mistake because you did nothing to grow as a person, you just stayed in this. big brick house and you thought, oh, maybe that was a mistake for me to waste those years in my life. I'm saying, don't think that. No one thinks that. Some of us think that. You know, we all kind of think that. But just know, there's no such thing as mistakes. That's it. Have you ever been to a jail? I mean, look, just looking at the cast makeup of the show and seeing all your connections in this town,

I'm sure you've been to a jail. Who in Rhode Island believes there's no such thing as a mistake? I mean, that's crazy. So she gives her a gift. She's like, I got you. little something. Actually, I got you a total gig. All right. I do ignore the bag. It's not you now. I don't have his money. Okay. I don't know how to. But here, here's a little compass. Will you open the compass? There's something that says inside. I read it, Kelsey. Go ahead and read it. It's like, yeah, I didn't learn how to do that.

I mean, I moved in here when I was to. Most children learn how to read, Kelsey. Yeah, I didn't. Okay. There's no mistakes. I'll read it for you. You dumb hooker. self-starts. It says you dumb hooker, then no path is final, no light is lost,

you were bored to begin again and blaze your own way home. Wow. I don't really get it. What does this thing do? It's a compass you use it to navigate on the waters. I mean, come on with a coastal househouse. You got to know some maritime stuff around here.

Well, throughout the relationship, he was always giving me money, and I didn't have to work. And now that we're not together anymore, I just need to be self-sufficient, you know? And hair and makeup has always been a passion of mine, and now it's time to be an adult. And it's stressful, you know?

I'm going to go on Instagram and see all of these stars posting my haircuts all over the place. All of these stars. Oh, these stars. Huge, big stars. It's so hard. So, Kelsey said, can I keep the Chanel back? Yeah, you can keep.

Chanel, that's okay. And she's like, as a dust bag, sure, it's probably worth more than a compass. I'll just say, you need all the help you can get, honey. Even if it means sticking on a bag. Go enjoy it. So now it's the day of Alicia and Liz's Newport trip. And Liz is taking Alicia's luggage out of her car

because she's there, they're like at Alicia's arrived at Liz's house. Are you serious? Well, I didn't know what to bring. I mean, God, like, I'm sorry. Is it going to be crackers? is it be fake newtons like what happens if we run over someone on a bridge on the way in newport you got to have a shovel right so i bought all the stuff i'm so excited to host this trip with liz you know newport rhode island it's iconic luxury castles matches it's where everybody wants to be

in the summer it's 30 minutes away from where i live and this requires an uber driver for me okay i will not drive there it's so far it's 30 minutes it's ridiculous like who's got a week know what i mean it's a lot it's a lot to do it's it's like it's you know i'm not going to drive very far So Liz goes, oh my God, look at this. Look at these vintage Ros Royces are pulling up, guys. Can you stand it, Princess Rolls right back in time, but going in style. So she, Liz has rented a bunch of old time. He rolls Royces to take them to Newport, which is funny.

And she's like, yeah, it's almost like we're in a time machine. It's pretty Gucci. It's pretty cool. I'm like, yes, saying that it's pretty Gucci is, in fact, like being in a time machine. It's guilty. It's a leak. So they are talking about Rula. What else?

Oh my God, Rula, Rula, Rula. Is anybody seeing Rula? Where's Rula? Rula, we don't know, guys. She's not here, as usual. How's Rula on this show? She's never, she never shows up to work. My theory is that she was supposed to be a friend of,

and that this Brian's cheating sort of, well, that kind of put her up into. a full-time cast members. God, she's so lucky. I know. She really hit it. She hit the big time, right? Some girls get all the breaks.

God. So they head over to this place, and Liz is saying, this castle, I've been here several times with parties. It's beautiful. It's big. It's quirky. It's wild. It's not unlike us.

Like, you guys are not like a new, more bitch. I'm sorry. Although it was weird that this castle did have Liz's face. It's like, oh, I went to the same doctor's mandolour. So they're talking about how much Kelsey really needs this trip, guys. It's going to be

really hard for her. So we see Kelsey in her car with Joellen and she's like, I'm going through major life changes here. I need to eat prey love trip with the girls, you know? As much as I would love to be on the French Riviera, I'll settle for a little Newport mansion. Girl, you better learn to settle. You're going to be

settling for Newport cigarette soon. Just be great. Seriously. So then in Liz and Alicia's car, they're talking about Rula. I haven't talked to it since Polo. I got to be honest. I'd love to lie to you and said I talked to her right before I came here, but I didn't.

Why would I lie about that? So Alicia tries to call Rula. She's not answering. She's like, I know that Rula's been through so much stress. I think Rula just really needs this trip. I feel like we're going to have fun. I'm going to have fun. I don't know about the rest of the group, actually.

But I'll have fun. They eat some crackers. Oh my God. Look at these windows. Liz, Liz, it's like an actual real life princess. This is our life. We're fucking celebrating today. Look at us in a mansion in Newport, Newport Mansion.

It's this enormous, it truly is an enormous, enormous, enormous mansion. Like, just huge. I mean, these mansions in Newport are really, like, next level stuff. Like, this is as close as America comes to having country houses in England. This is, like, long leet. But the difference is, it's so funny because, you know, we just watched the finale, or just having watched ladies of London when they go to a long lead and this big, beautiful estate.

When we come to this mansion, it's big and beautiful on the outside, but the more, the longer we stay here on this show, the more you realize how decrepit it is on the inside. Did you notice like all the wood was kind of like splintering and like not polished and everything just sort of looked dusty and like a little bit run down and the lawn outside was like patchy. It was like brown grass and like some of it was mode, some of it wasn't. I was like, this is, of course, the American version of like a noble country house. Yeah, I was laughing at America too because they're walking through and they're like, oh my God, this house is so old.

It's a hundred years old. Yeah. A hundred years. This is like Nouveau-Riche, you know, when they built this house. It truly is. Like another McMansion up the street. So it's 100th anniversary and pieces of the house were assembled from all over Europe originally, guys. We piecemeal this house from Europe.

It's a pretty big deal. Yeah, it's assembled like that. It was like the IKEA of 1922. So Liz is like, I mean, what more could people want? What's so funny is it's 43,000. You know, I was just joking when I said about Rosie saying her house was going to be 43,000 square feet. But I must have gotten the number from this because this house. house is 43,000 square feet, 18 bathrooms, 29 bedrooms.

And I mean, 29 bedrooms is insane. And what's also insane is that when they have to divvy up their rooms, they have to act like, well, they only have five bedrooms for you guys. But there's 29 bedrooms here. Don't lie to us. We know. But how do they have so many more bedrooms, but only two more bathrooms than Jen Aiden? That's crazy.

Did Jen Aidan just have? Oh, my God. Toilets everywhere. It's a different time. commercials Here comes one right now They look at the bedrooms And Liz's like

I want the fairy room I want the fairy room Oh God look at this baby to us here This is my vibe It's my vibe And then they go a different room And Liz This reminds me of you

She's like Oh my God I love it I think I'm going to say Yeah This is wonderful It's just yeah I think I may make the fair room

With all the fairies I mean we get first dibs And everyone else can figure How to go Okay this is great I'm so excited for these girls to get the royal treatment. We have two butlers, Robert

and Boris with champagne bottles all day long. And I think Kelsey's going to feel right at home because she's used to this, you know, well, she used to be. And we see these two guys. They were like picked up from like the 7-Eleven and put into tuxedo. I was like, hey, welcome to the castle. Who

you want some cocktails or whatever? Who wants some of this seven up in a bottle, eh? It's going to be good. It's going to be good shit. That's champagne. I'm sorry, but it's only champagne if it's from the region of 7-Eleven. Okay? So the other girls arrive and they're like, oh my God, it's so big.

And this is just them looking at a mansion for 20 minutes, basically. And Joellen and Kelsey see their bedrooms. And then we find out that they're going to have a doll tea party later. And so they have to get ready for this doll party thing. Yeah. Yeah, so then everyone's getting ready. And then Joel's like, what's up with the dolls? And Kelsey's like, she probably talks to them when Billy is not home.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm like, Kelsey, you really are not one to talk. You have, but it's just been you and a cleaning lady who hates you, plotting your death for 10 years. Okay. And then we go to Alicia, like cleaning the face. Yeah, exactly. Hot mamas.

We see Alicia cleaning the doll's face. And she's like, I feel like you're going to get me in trouble. I don't know why. I just feel it. Yikes, lady. Never has a doll wanted to run so far. It's like, let me go. Please animate me somebody.

I just, please animate me. Someone, please. Let me out of here. I'm waiting for my mannequin moment. Alicia's like, I just think dolls are so pretty. You know, it tells so much about a person by what doll they pick. Let me see, we see like two weeks ago when she was showing up her dolls to Liz. She goes, I don't let my daughter play with the dolls.

You know, I tell her, she can play it only if she played very gently. Like, I love that the kids are not allowed to play with the dolls. Yeah. So, she says, as a child, I do, I love beauty. I love clothes. I love purses. I love little high heels. I liked it probably, like, you know, three years old, I liked it.

I liked it. And I still like it at 41. I still like it. Yeah. I'm not sorry about it. Sometimes when you're sitting there on the floor of Superior Bakery, playing with a doll, It's the only happiness you know. This door, this door right here, she gets it.

Look at her. Look at her face. She gets it. The dog's like, please leave me alone. I haven't been touched in 90 years. So Rosie is hanging out with Ashley. And Rosie's like, if I had to guess, Rula's going to show up eventually.

And now she's like, I think tomorrow, though. She's like, really? You don't think today? She's like, oh my God, I just got nail glue in my eye. Nail glue in my eye. Now Joellen and Kelsey are talking about Kelsey how hard it is, guys, because she's dating a really rich person. I don't know if you've heard, and they broke up. So they were talking about that.

And she's like, you know, bills got mortgage payments and stuff. Like, I don't know how to be an adult. Like, what's a mortgage? Like, people talk about principal payment. Like, principle of what? Like, why you got to pay a principal? That's crazy. Like, I don't know what that means.

I never even knew what my dad's career was. All I knew was that the bills were getting paid and he bought me a car and paid for my my college. Okay, you went to college. Good on you. Didn't see that one coming. I'm just not into people who brag about being an idiot. Maybe she just, maybe he just paid for the supplies that way she can make a collage and she mispronounced it. So Alicia brings the suitcase outside. She's like, okay, let's let's get that to the set the door. Come on, you got this. All the dolls. She's going to put in the back of the rolls. So they're setting up for this weird.

tea party thing and it's an iron carriage out there that I think is supposed to be to put plants hanging from. Isn't that what it is? Yeah. Well, it's definitely not something that holds a hose because half that lawn is brown. Unless there was a drought in Rhode Island. I was like, you're supposed to, this is supposed to be pretty. So that, yeah, this is this weird, tacky white wrought iron carriage in the back. So they're sitting in that.

And Alicia's like, oh my God, you guys look beautiful. And they're like, oh my God, look at, you did all this stuff for the dolls. And she's like, put baby seats across this table, their luncheon table. And the dolls are each in a baby seat. And the dolls are supposed to match the women. It's a really weird one. Really. So they come in and they're like, oh, my God, there's like little things for dolls.

Wow. And Ashley goes, I'm obsessed with this doll lunch. Like, I love my American girl dolls. Did I have like all five originals? Yes. Do I have all of the NSYNC Barbies? Yeah. Like my Jonas Barbies, the Camp Rock era?

Yes. Yes, I do. It turns out every single one of those dolls would rather be at a coffee shop than like hanging out with me, which is really awkward. So then they get some champagne and then Joellen comes out. She's like, are you carrying with this carriage? Oh my God, are you kidding me? So then they're all like, oh, my God, I love your outfit and everything.

and then Liz falls over because of her heels. And she's like, oh, my God, wow. Okay, we try again. And they come over and they're like, oh, my God, all the girls look so beautiful. Everybody, you look so pretty for this. And Joanne goes, Rosie, you look like a stripper. She goes, that was the plan.

She goes, I should have just said he don't look good. So Alicia's like, okay, let me introduce you all to the Which is, okay, they're going to come sit with us and eat this gorgeous meal dolls. Okay, ready? And Dwellyn's like, well, I want to know what these dolls mean to you. Did these dolls ever send you to a behavioral camp? And if so, do you feel victimized by it? Just seeing her be such a good mother to those dolls, it makes me realize what I've been missing.

No doll. You cannot babysit for me for free. Don't even look at me. Disgusting pig of a doll. So they're like, what's up with the dolls, Alicia? And she's like, okay, like so with dolls, right? Like throughout the entire world for centuries are like, bajillions of years ago.

And they're like, oh, wow, bajillions. That's many years. Yeah. So many years. Like every girl, most of them, they just connect to a baby doll. No one knows why. Duran goes, where did you get that statistic from? She goes, yeah, from billions of years.

And she goes, okay, there's no statistic. Okay, honestly, it's just something I saw when I was stare at Billy's Pizza one day. And it just came to me. But anyway, we're going to have lunch. everyone's going to take their dolls and we're going to sit next to us. They're going to sit next to us. Okay. And they're like, um, okay. I remember the very first doll was snow white. I love snow white so much. If the hair was out of place, I would have a breakdown and throw the doll and cry mental. It was psychotic. So they're putting all these dolls on baby seats. And Rosie's like, are you good?

You need a little hot. Are you a little hot? We got to cool you down, girlfriend. What are their names? I think this doll is being mean to me. I'm not really sure, but I don't appreciate it. But I'm, but I'm, I'm going to try again. I'm going to try again with you. Sorry, I was using my TV personality on you. My bad. Really a quiet person. So they're like putting the...

Alicia's like, you're not putting a doll in your chair, though. Joelle. And she's like, well, she deserves to be on a pedestal. Joelle says, the way that Alicia likes dolls is the way I like Botox. So they, that big question, is Rula gonna come? Rula, Rula. Where's ruler? Where's ruler? Where's ruler? Where's ruler? Joeline goes, this is wicked rude that she's not here. Wicked rude.

Well, I think she was kind of like, you know, be dumb. Like choosing to believe Brian. And she's like, that's it. Like, we're working on a marriage. I don't think she wants to hear anything anymore. So, you know what? We shouldn't say anything. John was like, yeah, well, she needs to stop blaming me because I'm trying to be there for you and have our back. Okay. And we see a flashback to Joellenette Polo being like, you know, I'm not trying to fucking hurt you. It's just I'm not done. I'm not done.

And if you want proof, I'll figure it out. I'll get it. I'll get you the proof. Well, you know, I think that she questions your motives, Joeline. Okay, she's just questioning the motives about it. She goes, what's the motive? Like, I don't want a fucking husband. Like, I feel bad, you know?

So I think that you guys should feel bad, you know? Like, her husband's cheating on her. Yeah. She goes, well, I don't believe Joellen feels bad. So it's funny to me when she says it. Because I'm just like, ooh, okay. are you? Who the F are you? So Alicia goes, well, no one needs to remind her that he's a scumbag

anymore. It's done. Everyone knows. Don't remind it anymore. It was a year and a half ago, Alicia. She thinks it's from a year and a half ago, Alicia, and it wasn't. She goes, done. I'm done with it. I'm done with it. And Kelsey's like, let's save it for when she's here. Because I'm sure she's going to want to talk about this again. And Liz's like, all right, tonight's a black tie. So relax a bit. We'll see you down at dinner. And so that's it. That was the whole lunch. She was like, where's Rula? The whole lunch was, where's Rula?

Yeah, this was sort of weird. It was like this whole thing of like, we're having lunch with dolls. And they sit down, they have lunch. And then it's over. Like, the dolls have nothing to do with it. So now they're just sort of doing different things. Joellen is sitting on like a swinging chair out front. And she, uh, she facetimes Gary.

And she's like, hi, you at practice? He's like, yeah, I am at practice and definitely not sleeping with your sister right now. She's like, oh, good. Okay, well, I'm on a swing. I'm just like swinging back and forth. He's like, yeah, I saw your swing. Yep, I'm swinging. Yeah, big swinger.

A little Easter bunny egg for us all, guys. So then Alicia is using a metal detector on the lawn. Hilarious. You never know what you're going to find out here. That could be a diamond. You know, there could be a diamond over there. Diamonds aren't metal. It's 10 cents.

No jewels there. Okay. What was she open to find? And then I do that if I'm. I was at a mansion. I thought that was great that they just had one. Or do you think she brought it from home? She definitely brought that.

We're going to a mansion. I'm bringing the metal detective. That's exactly what she said. So then the not, the, the, the, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, uh,

brings in some masks and, um, Liz, Liz is like, I'm sorry, she has masks and she's like, okay, okay, rabbit. I want you to deliver these girls.

Okay, you'll deliver them for me. Cause I'm planning this masquerade, you know, and we all kind of bring to life, you know, there's this mask. So everyone's revealing something about themselves. And it would bring us closer together, and it's like an exercising camaraderie. Well, I'm hoping for it to be anyway.

Okay, this one's going to go to Rosie, because she's wearing a big larger-than-life facade, all right? But what's deeper? I almost had trouble saying facade because no one knew how to say it later. I got into my head. So she goes over each mask that she has. They're all different and why she's giving them to the girls. So she goes through each little mask. And then the Robert guy delivers them to people, and they all get their masks, and they have to read the cards.

And it's hilarious watching Alicia try to read. She's like, oh, my God, I love this. Okay. Give me the message. Okay. wear this mask to the ballola where secrets rise

and fackered fackards fack fackades fakoutis faccalibrite for calibrite for calibrite what is it

the cracker I'm for crackers I may fall I'm for crackers um so Alicia puts on her mask and she's like oh she's gorgeous

this bitch I love it. And they are coming down in their masks. And Ashley's is hilarious because everyone else has like masquerade masks where it's like a thing like or just really over your eyes, maybe your nose and it's like has some sort of like fancy thing. But Ashley's actually got like the mask that you wear if you are doing some druid ritual that involves ritual sacrifice. It's a full gold face mask with two little eye holes in it. She's like, oh God, I can't even talk on this thing. I was like well curated, Liz.

Well curated. So funny. Oh, so that God, this is like some eyes wide shut shit. What is going on here? Ashley's like, I can't breathe in here, you guys. God. What am I supposed to do, not eat and drink? Dron's like, you can't take it off, though.

I don't take it off, Ashley. They're all for like Ashley having as difficult a time talking as possible. Like, I guess you just can't talk tonight, Ashley. So funny. So, funny. So Liz comes in. and she's wearing a wolf mask. And it's like, perhaps what they see is a big bad wolf, but they don't know what's behind this mask is someone who's crazy sensitive.

I'm not the wolf in sheep's clothing. I'm actually the sheep in wolf's clothing. Is it possible that Liz is just a wolf and a sheep that get along really well and have a mutual understanding that they won't kill each other? Because I do believe that Liz is like very sweet and nurturing. and loving. I also do believe she will murder me. Like, I do think that she is the wolf and the sheep at the same time. Yeah, she's like Dr. Sheeple and Mr. Wolf. Like she'll switch, she'll switch it up. She'll switch it up. So they're like, wow, we love the masks. Well,

I'm hoping that tonight we could shed the masks and show a little bit more of our other side. You know, the one that we're trying not to show. All right, Jojo. Well, I can go first. I know that most of you know me well, and there's definitely good and bad to me. I think I have a lot of bad. It comes from trauma. The trauma of having a really hot husband with big nipples, it's a lot for me to carry as someone. And also, as a child, my mom sent me away to a behavioral program.

And then she goes, oh, I remember that. That was hot. It was hard. God, we laughed so much. When you went away, I remember we showed up that first day of school. Like, where's Joelle? And they said she's at a behavioral program. And then we looked and we saw you being put on that bus.

God, we laughed so hot that day, Joellen. This must have been hot for you. And she tells us, these behavioral programs, they were for really bad kids, you know, like children convicts and arsonists and stabbers. Okay? Like, I don't feel like my behavior in high school was outrageous, but my mother's behavior to me as a child just felt like she didn't love me. I mean, just because I tried to burn down our house and stab my mother,

all of a sudden they're going to put me in a program with arsonousness and tabas. It didn't make sense to me. So Joellen is like, yeah, I don't want to be like my mom. So I'm definitely trying. I'm definitely trying. Well, do you feel like sometimes you'll hurt people as well, Cho Cho? What do you think they're at Jojo? She's like, well, I mean, I don't usually think I'm the one that starts it.

I'm the one that continues it. Okay. And that's also, I guess a bad trait. I guess that's a bad trait, too. I mean, I just don't want to be betrayed. And when someone calls me out on something that's not true, I mean, that I'm like lying or something. I mean, what are you? My mother?

Rula. So then Joanne's like, I just, I need to prove that you're wrong. And what you're saying about me is not true because I didn't do that as a kid. Like, okay. So mommy issues, big time over in that corner. So then what about you? Okay, Lizzie, what about your mask? What makes you so hard?

Because, well, I think it kind of stands from having such incredible loss at a super young age. I think that I'm afraid to let anyone in because I'm afraid to lose. And this is something I don't share with anyone ever. but what people don't realize is that when I was six years old, I was in the Olympics, and I lost in the shot put it. It's plagued me ever since. There, I said it. I said it.

So her real thing is that her mom passed when she was very young and died when she was 15, and so she has abandonment issues. It's not that I'm big and scary. It's that I'm probably more afraid of them than they are of me. No. I don't believe that. You're scared. Trust me.

We're more afraid. Trust me. Um, so then Liz is like, you know, I'm hard to get to know. I'm very tough. Well, why are you surprised that people are scared of you then? She's like, I'm a tough, I'm a tough. I'm a tough person. I don't know why people are scared of me. I mean, just because I'm photographed with someone who's got mob connections and it's all over Twitter. Don't, don't be scared of me. So then so far, no one has really revealed anything crazy, right? They're, they're already just, they're all just kind of repeating their basic pat storylines for the season. So then we get to Ashley. I'm Ashley. gets to take off her mask finally, and she goes, oh boy. Well, you know, like, um, going on the Bachelor, I was just always like, oh, my God, like, I don't have a sob story. What am I going to do? You have to have a sob story on The Bachelor, you know, like, I don't know what to talk about. And I think that stresses me out, you know, because I'm always like, but it will happen one

day. Like, I will have sad things happen, you know, like, someone will die, you know, like, that's, you know, it's petrifying, you know, like someday I'm going to feel some kind of pain. she's trying more than anyone about the prospect of trauma. Liz just goes, Okay. I'm sorry, this lady should not be on this show. I think she's so funny. I think she is so funny on it.

I'm actually really impressed that I like her on it, but I think she's really cute on it. I just think that she just doesn't fit in, but like this was very funny. So Joellen is like, Ashley's crying that she has nothing to cry about. Like, just put the mask back on. And they keep on showing this shot of Ashley at the table with this big golden mask.

And she's looking as a blank face on. So Rosie's like, guys, a lot of people, what they don't know about me is that I have a lot of anxiety. You know, I'm really shy in real life, you know? When I'm more bigger, like, that's like for TV or Instagram stuff, you know? Basically, what Barbara Streisand said, you know, like, if you're going to be big, save it for Instagram, you know, because I just learned to pretend and I learned to be bigger and what everybody wants me to be, which is big.

Something I felt a lot growing up, I was so used to having to just like do whatever my mom said all the time and make her happy and you don't want to upset her. You just do it and just make everyone happy. And so I'm still kind of like, I feel selfish choosing myself sometimes. So I'm like working on it, you know, someday I'm just going to be super selfish and you guys are going to be like, whoa, you took it too far. And Kelsey asked, well, don't you think people want to see a genuine self? And she's like, well, once I get comfortable, I'll open up, you know.

So it's just different. So now Kelsey, Kelsey's like, I have a tough exterior when it comes to my relationship. That's the only thing I'm like mega sensitive with. Yeah. So I'm hanging in there, though. Alicia goes, Kelsey, not to bring it up, but how are you doing after your breakup? Because like you're poor now. I'm like, you're homeless.

What's that like? Yeah, I'm hanging in there. It's for the best though I mean at the end of the day There was like a standstill with my ex And it like lasted 10 years And it's just like how many more years Am I gonna do the same thing right?

She cries, she can cry You should probably cry right now Because no one feels bad for you Have cry, cry, cry, go do a little cry And Rosie's like Oh, I actually had no idea that Kelsey broke up with her sugar daddy Last I heard she was seeing numerous people

And then we see Nice little shitty moment And yeah Um, basically we see like Kelsey is saying, like, I'm dating, I'm dating Bill, whatever. So Rosie says, she's already been, she's already been bringing the new boyfriend around. So why should I be surprised that she's not with the old boyfriend anymore? Like, it's very confusing this whole relationship or relationships, I should say. So, Joe Allen's like, well, how's Bill different from your ex?

She goes, well, like he cares. He listens. He's broke. And have you thought about marriage with them or anything? She's like, yeah, I mean, he's definitely marriage material. you know, we have a good relationship. I still have a good relationship with my ex, too. You know, there's a lot of things that connect us. Like, he still pays for things. And like, yeah, like, he pays my health insurance and my car insurance.

And, like, what else let me think about? Yeah, I'm going to get a place of my own and he's going to pay for that too, you know. And, you know, just till I get on my feet, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Nice work if you can get it. Damn. Nice work if you can get it, but also learn some lessons from the case of the curious case of Lisa and Lenny Hockstein.

So Kelsey is saying like, you know, I'm taking what I'm entitled to. It has nothing to do with being independent or still being on his nipple. Like he said, whatever I can do to help you, I will. And if I was actually married him for 10 years, I'd be walking away with like a lot more. Like, this is, I don't. He obviously is helping her, but I think this is going to dry up a lot sooner than she, thinks it will. And I don't think she'll be ready for when that moment happens. Yeah. So Alicia's like, but then why does he do it? Because he loves you. She's like, it's the least he can do.

I mean, God, I've been sitting in his house doing nothing for 10 years. He owes me. He owes me for using his money. So Kelsey's like, I mean, leaving after 10 years, you get nothing. He's like, I'll pay for your apartment. I mean, it's like a divorce, you guys. It's like a divorce. Okay. So there. Rosie goes, he still pays all your bills. Now he's like a real sugar daddy.

Before she could at least pretend he was her boyfriend. So Alicia, it's time for her to share. And she goes, well, I guess I've seen real dark things that no kids should have seen. Like what kind of dark things? She's like,

yeah. Just think that like my life was not easy. And like from what I remember, my father left us homeless. And I had moved a lot. Like, you were homeless. It's like,

and Liz is like, you are never homeless. I'm like, no, yeah. no he did he sold my house and he left it took my mom and a child and he took my home as a child and this is like that's a stretch okay you have a homeless babe you have a big beautiful family no one will ever allow you to be homeless you kind of went with your grandparents for a little while which was a very nice place by the way and try am i trying to protect her from coming off as privilege yes yes i am yes

Yeah, because she's like, yeah, Alicia's like, you know, I think that Liz is trying to protect like my family, but don't diminish what I've been through. Because like, when I first moved to my grandparents, I was like excited because I was like, oh my God, I got to be my grandparents. But then I was like, oh my God, like, when do I get to go home? And it's like, what happened to my bedroom? Because I had a beautiful car bed. It was a Corvette. So in my mind, we had no home. I used to have a Corvette and the Dolls were driving it.

It was amazing. We had teapottys in the Corvette. And now where is it? It's gone. I'm like the first homeless person you probably ever heard of who dreamed of sleeping in a car. My Corvette was the best Corvette in Rhode Island, I swear to God. I will not listen to you say that you were homeless, Alicia. Come on, Alicia. So she goes, Alicia, take off your mask. Your face is too beautiful. Your housed face is too beautiful. Take off your mask, honey.

Ashley, keep you as on. Keep you on, Ashley. So then, Ashley, keep you on. And actually, someone, someone throw a napkin over Ashley's head while we're at it. I don't want to see, I don't want to see,

I don't want to see in this part through a little holes. I'm just, I'm just thinking that like, I really like my bed. Okay, I've got like a really nice gasper mattress. And what would happen if I lost it someday? It's just like a lot to take on and to think about.

What if someone took my bed? That could happen. That's funny. So she thanks them all for coming. And Kelsey goes, yeah, I'm Rosie. I think that was the first genuine thing that came out of your mouth. And I'm saying that in a nice way, not a mean way. How is that a nice way?

It's not nice at all. So rude. There was like, if you really meant that, you would say, Rosie, I really appreciate you sharing. I know things have been rocky, but I felt like you were being really genuine there in a way that I just really appreciate it. And thank you. Thank you for sharing that. if not like, that was the first genuine thing that's ever come out of your mouth. That means that in a nice way.

Congratulations, you fake slut. So, Rosie goes, okay. She goes, yeah, I actually felt for a second that you were telling the truth. Okay, another slam. And Rosie's like, what have I not told the truth about? She says, yeah, I'm trying to give you a compliment. God. And then everybody else at the table, she goes, yeah, I'm trying to convey to her.

Like, you haven't been honest. Like, and now I feel like you are in this moment. So Joanne was like, come on. she's giving you a compliment and you were like right on the defensive. So she's like, you know, she's like, hey, I thought you were being genuine. You say thank you to that. God. This is where I started to turn because this whole episode, I'm like, Rosie, stop being such a victim.

The reason people don't like you is because you're saying things that's pissing them off. But then I saw this and I was like, oh, no, they're all going to jump on Rosie no matter what. Because what that girl just said was rude. Stop gas-liding. Yeah. Well, I think what they... Yeah, I agree. This was, like, there was nothing nice about what Kelsey said. It was mean. And, you know, Kelsey's issue, she has two issues. One is that Rosie is claiming that their house is going to be like getting another 10,000 square feet of space. And, you know, Kelsey's like, and it's not. I've seen it's 5,000 or something like that. But I think the real issue is that the rumors swirling around Rosie, like, or that she had sex with, had an affair with this basketball coach from like the University of. Providence or something.

And so people are like, she did. She did, I think that's what's fueling this. It's like she's a liar. She's pretending like everything's fine. And then there was a thing about the newsroom. She said she like left because of colitis. No, she left because she had sex with the boss. So they all just, I think, they feel like she just has been sleeping away to the top or something.

And but they're not really saying it. So they're just like taking their shots out of her in this way. That's for sure. For all those reasons. They just do not like her. And so they're going to jump on Kelsey's side. but to pretend that she wasn't just totally rude as crazy. So Ashley's like, yeah, but her saying that's refreshing would insinuate that she's never been honest, right?

Don't I miss something in what she just said? Rosie's like, okay, yeah, I appreciate it. And I'm glad you feel that way. And Joanne goes, oh, wow, that's fucking backhanded. That was fucking backhanded, right? This is the thing that's backhanded? That's crazy. Oh, my God.

It was like, oh, we got so close, so close to having a good meal. So Kelsey tells us, being in the pageant world, I know a bullshitter when I see one, and there's a lot of fake girls, you know, around here talking about me. I'm like, um, okay, ma'am. So we see all these flashbacks of the reasons she does not like Rosie. And Kelsey's like, and I just can't keep up with her ever-changing personalities. I mean, who is Rosemary exactly? Well, you know what? I think you guys aren't really giving Rosie enough grace because there's like a little bit of sassie.

in this error, I think, wasn't there? And Joanne's like, actually, I think the sass came from Rosie. Rosie has done nothing but stay calm. What are you doing? Rosie did not give any sass here. Okay? And now she's like, I mean, she got a crazy

backhanded compliment. I mean, what would happen if I got one? It's just too hard to think about. Well, I mean, it makes it seem like she's never been genuine before. I mean, like, she's always been lying. Do you guys think she's always been lying? And Kelsey says, that's how I felt.

She's like, well, Rosie has mentioned that she would like for me to stick up for her more. So I'm choosing right now to do it. Kelsey's reaction to Rosie was such a blatant, backhanded compliment that even I felt uncomfortable being like, excuse me, that wasn't fully nice. Like, I actually did something scary. Oh, my God, that was so scary. So Kelsey. And Kelsey goes, there was an ingenuous that I felt. Oh, my God, Kelsey. There was an ingenuous. An ingenuous what? We'll never know. But she felt it. went to college ladies and gentlemen

college graduate I know Kelsey Well she didn't say graduate She didn't say graduate This is not a great endorsement for The Sugar Baby Lifestyle There was an ingenuous I felt

She was an ingenuous So Rosie goes Well I'm sorry if you feel I'm not genuine Or that I lie or anything You know Being a big on-air personality With a former Saturday afternoon lifestyle show

On a local Rhode Island station sometimes I don't have the time to pour myself into all the cups that I need to. And so if your cup isn't feeling filled by my personality, I apologize. All right, all right. We get it. We get it. You know what? What's it called when the horse is dead?

What's it called when the horse is dead? What is it? The hoss is dead. Beating the ingenuine horse dead. Yeah. Beating the genuine. Okay. Well, I want to thank you for coming to my little masquerade dinner.

Thank you for being open and sheds. in the masks and whatever we do tonight, have fun in the castle. And let's reconvene in the morning. Okay, everybody. So they get to go to their rooms. And Rosie is saying to Ashley, like, what did I do that? It was so offensive. My God, that wasn't nice what she said.

Like, I just said, what did I lie about? Ash is like, I don't know. And then Kelsey is in the hallway. And she goes, wait, I feel like I hear Rosie talking. Let's go listen. So she goes and listens in. And Ashley's like, meanwhile somewhere in Charleston Emmy's like I feel uncomfortable um so Ashley is like that made it seem

like you know it wasn't a backhanded compliment at all like since she basically was alluding to the fact that you've never said anything honest and Rosie's like also like when when the fuck did me and Kelsey have long conversations like what the hell so Kelsey's listening like her ears literally up against the door and she's like oh my god she had all this time at dinner to say it to my face but now she waits to go to a room with Ashley to start talking shit. She don't have the boss to say it to me. She sulks like a slinky. That's why I stopped playing with those toys.

I'd send them down the stairs and they'd be like one step after another. And then I was like, you know what? I like that you can go down the stairs, slinky. But like when you get to the bottom, why are you always sulking? I have to throw that. Oh, this girl is such a ding-dong. So Rosie is like, yeah, I mean, she accused me of talking shit about her at the picnic. Rosie just comes in. She's like, what's going on? And they're like, oh, just getting changed.

Well, we're just talking. You know, because I feel like you were saying before. I was like a backhanded compliment to her. And I felt bad because then everybody snapped at her. She was, no, it wasn't backhanded. Like, I felt like you're not being honest. So we be specific. What is she lying about? She's like, well, her house, the issues with your job, you got fired. You said you left her mental health. She goes, I left for mental health because I got colitis and Rosie's like, I don't know what you want me to do about that.

Why are you so upset with me for rumors that have nothing to do with you? Like, oh, you got fired from your job. I went on medical lead because I couldn't stop bleeding out of my butt. Why would I say that when I could say that I got fired? Like, what?

So Kelsey is like, well, she makes shit up. And when you meet someone, you exaggerate things. Like, yeah, me and Richard building an 8,000 square foot house. I could just blurt stupid shit out. Oh my gosh. Who cares? And Ashley goes, I have no idea what they would care about the square footage or the honesty of the square footage of a house.

Like, I've never talked to my friends about square footage. It's so weird. But then I think, like, what if I did? And then, like, someone didn't believe my square footage? It's just, like, it's devastating to think about it could be devastating in the future. And Rosie's like, we're adding 5,000 square feet. The current house is 1,500. And when we finish the garage into a gym,

And she goes, uh-uh, it's not, it's a thousand, it's a thousand square feet. I know your garage plans. So what are you looking at her fucking floor plans for her garage, Kelsey? Weirdo. Why are you so obsessed? I mean, yes, we see the footprint of the extension, but like, I don't, why is she obsessed about this? I think she feels insecure. I think she feels like, like Rosie and I are the young ones on this cast.

And I don't have anything to my name. And especially if the rumors are true. that she was already broken up with her sugar daddy before the season even began. She knows she has nothing. She knows she's going to have nothing. And then she sees this person who has shaded her for being in this like modern relationship. And she's building a house. And she's like, oh, yeah, well, fuck you.

You have a small foundation for what's supposed to be a large foundation, you know. And I heard you cheated. Yeah, I guess. You know, I really don't like when people, like, when you're, young and it's like, mom, so-and-so was mean to me. And your mom's like, she was just jealous. I don't like that excuse. Oh, they're just jealous of you. But in this case, I'm like, oh, yeah, I think this is where that comes from, because I think you're right. I think she's, she's just gel. She feels threatened. Like, she's leaving a mansion. This girl's boyfriend is

building her a mansion, you know? She has to start working. She has no skills. This lady, I mean, she works one day, eight a week at a new station, but still, she's doing stuff, you know? So, yeah, I think she's threatened. She's threatened. I think you're right. So Ashley's like, I mean, the way that Kelsey's delivering this accusation, it's like she's so certain. I'm like, where's your garage floor plan proof, bitch? Kelsey's like, well, where there's smoke, there is fire.

And Rosie goes, well, just because the answer isn't what you want doesn't mean it's not true. You can believe whatever you want. And I'm cool with that. She goes, you know what? This is another act of Rosie. This is like the calm rose. She's always telling the truth, but I'm not buying one word that comes out of her mouth. Nope, because I'm Kelsey, and I'm very smart.

And I can always tell a disingenuine when I see one. So Rosie's like, well, why do you care? I don't care. Well, it seems like you fucking care. I mean, I think you just didn't want to like me, and that's okay. She goes, well, I don't think that you want to like me neither. So I'm good with this. You know what, Kelsey, you just want to discredit everything about me.

You're attacking my house. You don't have a house. You're attacking my relationship. My husband. You don't have a husband. You're attacking my career. You've had one for about like a year, maybe. It's a lot easier to project things onto me than to possibly be a target of everyone talking about what's really going on in your life.

So I shut the fuck up. Yeah, well, thanks for coming to visit us. That's the door over there. She goes, good night. She just leaves. And by the way, Joe Allen has followed her in and it's like standing behind her. Like, yeah, what Kelsey said. And then when Kelsey leaves Jo Ellen follows her out, like, yeah, I'm sticking with my girl.

You're on the wrong side of me. I went to behavioral camp. I was around arsonist and stavors. I was an innocent person convicted in behavioral camp. You better watch your ass. I got hard, real hard. Be careful. All right.

Well, that was funny. And the trip will continue next week. Thanks everyone for being here. Catch us on Crappy Hour if it's not too late. and we will see you on the next episode. Bye. Bye. Watch what crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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