Watch What Crappens - #3351 Below Deck Down Under S04E14 Part Two: Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

Episode Date: May 5, 2026

This is part 2 of a 2-part recapTensions come to a head between Daisy and Ellie on Below Deck Down Under as a shrimp cocktail threatens to undermine the whole boat. Meanwhile, Mike, self-proclaimed HO...D, finds himself in a hairy situation. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Well, hello and welcome to watch what happens. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye. Enjoy the show.
Starting point is 00:00:38 So, Batul and Daisy are in the crew mess. And Batul is like, where's Mike? I can wreck them off the boat. Have you not heard? She goes, no. It's like, oh, God, Batul. You got to keep up. I'm just working.
Starting point is 00:00:49 working. All I want to do is work. So now's 23 hours until Charter and his preference sheet meeting. And the captain's like, all right, we're down a crew member. I mean, it was a terrible crew member. But, you know, at least we won't have to breathe in the Aquanette anymore. So we'll have a little time to clean out the crystals in our lungs. And we've got a very nice couple coming on with zero drama. So I expect you all to have a shit show of an episode to make up for it.
Starting point is 00:01:17 All right? That's right. This is going to be Sue Jay and his wife Brenner. And Brenna is looking forward to being able to say the first words she's ever said to Sue Jay. So let's please, fingers crossed. Will Brenna get to say something in this video package? Brenna. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Brenna's like she looks like she's in a hostage video. She's just looking at the camera like, please send the money. Just send it to whoever. Please, I'm tired. I'm hungry. I just want to come home. So Suj and Brenna, they actually live in the Dominican Republic, or at least they have a house there.
Starting point is 00:01:51 And Sue Jay is like, Brennan and I met probably 11 years ago. And I think there was, for me at least, there was an instant connection. I mean, I started thinking about my career in medicine from early days of my life. My father is a family doctor. Oh, did you want me to say more about Brenna? Because I've already started talking about my career. Okay. When I saw Brenna, I knew there was an instant connection to medicine.
Starting point is 00:02:14 So I really committed my life to that. Brenna's just looking at the camera like, God damn it. When I saw Brenna, I knew there was an instant connection between her upper lip and her bottom lip. God, they do not part. So he FaceTime's his parents and he's like, hey guys, we're invite me and Brenna, don't say it, Brenda. Yeah, me and Brenna, this one here, you know, silent one, we're going to take you on a mega yacht. They're like, what? Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:02:41 Yeah, my parents have done. Yeah, my parents have done everything for me. Dad could have had all kinds of stuff being a doctor. He could have, he could have like had a nice car. He could have been on trips. But he refused all that because he just wanted to educate me. And I don't think there's ever been, you know, they've ever had an opportunity to have this type of luxurious experience. So I'm going to get back to my parents. Brenna, what do you have to say about that? Just kidding. Just so you don't have to talk. So Jason's like on there, joining them of their friends, Emily, Anton, Mark and Kim, and the parents, Vinod and Jesri. And Sanjay is like, the group coming with us, we're all in the medical field, all physicians, but we're also kids at heart.
Starting point is 00:03:20 We do have fun. We do. We do have fun. Right, Brenna? Just kidding, Brenna. We want 80s night. You know, Brenna gets, she gets wild when that Debbie Gibson gets turned on. So everyone, be careful.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Brenna, could you do your out-of-the-blue karaoke for us? Just kidding. Just kidding. Do not sing, Brenna. But then when we're doing, then Brenna. does start talking later and we kind of see why why she doesn't talk because she's like oh my god my hair's frizzy one of my monica from friends was that brenda i thought that was brenda's friend though oh i thought it was brena i guess we'll see when we could have been brenda we're going to find
Starting point is 00:04:01 out this is why it's good death just thought that was the funniest reference what am i monica from friends i know Courtney cox is like i'm gonna try this uh this below deck show let's see what Whoa, I just took a stray out of nowhere. So now Daisy, Jouau, and Jenna are in the hot tub, and Daisy pours wine into a glass. She goes, I'm finishing this, and then I'm going to bed. So there you go, America. That's that. Ritual.
Starting point is 00:04:34 So then the galley, Ellie's like, by the way, Ben, did you know that Daisy spent the night in Joao's room? He's like, oh, yeah, I thought of you when I heard that. But I don't care. I'm fucking over it. I'm over it. He's like, oh, God, I don't think she's over it. You're bringing it up and still pissed at work. I don't think you're over it.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Somebody is going to die today. Someone will die. So, Daisy leaves this hot tub to go to bed, leaving just Jowow and Jenna. And Jowell is like, are you going to invite me to cuddle? She's like, oh, be quiet. So Jenna and Jowell are now talking. but their body language looks very intimate but we can see that they're just actually
Starting point is 00:05:15 well we think they're just sort of talking about like their romantic situations a little bit but you know is why you really don't know because he is kind of giving her that look like what about me give me a try so Jenna's just like they're talking about stuff and downstairs Ellie's in the crew mess watching them on the closed circuit security camera
Starting point is 00:05:36 monitor wall monitor on the wall and so Ellie is like oh no Look at him get all over each other. Look, Ben. He's like, that is weird. The arms are in places that I don't understand.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Look at trash can in the hot tub, disgusting. But they're not even. I mean, they're just talking. So Daisy comes in and she's like, ah, I'm tired, I'm going to bed. They keep trying to fucking convince me to stay up there. I'm like, no, you know, Joao and Jenna. They're looking for you, by the way, Ben. And Ben goes, oh.
Starting point is 00:06:07 And they didn't think to look in the galley? well personally I think personally she would hopefully rather be with me than with Joao in a hot tub
Starting point is 00:06:17 but that's just what I would prefer oh man Ellie worked she worked him immediately I mean he is so easy to manipulate
Starting point is 00:06:27 that was hilarious like they didn't think they look in the galley I'm like they're in the hot tub they don't want to come down to the galley that's all it was so Ellie oh well I will just put up the preference sheet
Starting point is 00:06:38 it's just me innocent deli who said nothing. He said nothing. So Daisy's like, Ban, they're asking for you. It's like, well, they don't give a fuck. That's the problem. There are lies that borders, their lines in the fucking sand, Daisy. All right, you've been to the lagoon.
Starting point is 00:06:53 You saw that sand and you saw all the lines in there, right? My little, my little salty sternum. She's like, okay, Ben, settle down. So upstairs in the hot tub, Jenna's like, I think I got to go. I got so serious with Eddie so quickly at the same time with you and Ellie, like she took it that way to her, right? Like, don't you feel that way.
Starting point is 00:07:12 Yes, very much so. Yes, absolutely. Yes. Uh-huh. She's certainly not watching us right now. I can't believe they're doing this to me. That was my jelly-taught jugular. And she destroyed me. This is vulgar, isn't it, Ellie? She's like, well, she won. She won a pile of garbage. Congratulations, two snakes. So Eddie is now Eddie is watching. And this is just so funny because it's like they all are thinking that something illicit is happening.
Starting point is 00:07:49 And so Jenna and Joao are still talking and Jenna's like, I look like a bad best if I do what I do. Daddy's like no, no, no, just do what you want to do. But do it with respect. Something I've never really been able to do, but you should try it. So now Eddie's in his cabin and he's beating his head on the side of the, he's beating his head on the bed. He's like, oh, can't do anything right. It's so hard being a good man in today's world. No one respects the straight white male.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Well, anyway, Jenna, I don't want anything serious, but I've got to know Daisy. And regardless of what happens, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, look, it's Ben. Here's Ben. Hello, take a, what's going on, Ben? And so Ben lays down next to them. He's like, hey guys. They're like, oh, what's wrong, Ben?
Starting point is 00:08:37 Like, hello. He's like all mopee. He's like trying to be like a mopee cock block. But he's trying to also like kind of be sex like, hey guys, you know, just like, but he kind of falls over onto the. He's like, hey, guys. Hey, it's me. She's actually, I could you just cut down and get me another bottle of fine. Ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:08:57 What do you, what do you upset about Ben? What's going on? And Ben tells us, I'm absolutely baffled by relationships, right? right now, I've learned people generally will let you down. Jenna's meant to like me and Jois meant to be my friend. I'm bloody confused. I'm bloody confused by it. And so Ben is like, I'm gonna get up to leave,
Starting point is 00:09:21 even though I just came up here just to lay down. She was like, what's wrong with him? She's like, have we done anything wrong? No, I don't think so. So then, now Ellie and Alicia are down in the crew mess. And this is, I mean, what happens next is, like season one down nabby with what's that name of that evil lady who like put the soap down she was great god gone too soon yes she put the soap down for the mid the pregnant mistress to fall
Starting point is 00:09:50 over and lose her child or whatever that was terrible it was yeah so she was always working with thomas this is like ellie doing that i forget i forgot i love that character but alicia is like she's like hey pumpkin what did i miss when i was napping oh hello well where do i begins so joeo, daisy and jennah were in hot tub three different trash bags all together on hot tub and then daisy leaves and then they were all over each other for like an hour jena and jo wow and Lisa's like oh that's crazy and by the way don't trust her she keeps coming into her cabin and talking shit about you to daisy like she was doing with mike that's all she does so now as much as elia says that she can't even stand jo wow and doesn't want to look at him he's trash she's
Starting point is 00:10:34 immediately angry at someone who she sees flirting with him. I know. I was pretty impressed in the first half of this episode that she wasn't coming for the woman and that she was like going to keep it on the man. But nope, she was just holding her. She was biting her time. So Lisa's like, wait, what's you been saying about me? All I've said is that I like Carbinar. She's like, I'm not getting into details. I don't do that. I'm not a bad bad, bad talker. Okay. But listen, I think she fucking hates you, Alicia. I'll tell you that. Like honestly, snake. She's evil to her core. I promise you. Snake, don't trust her. Evil snake.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Are you doing big business to me? Yes. We have got to get to the meeting. The meeting? So, Jen and Joal get out of the hot tub, having no idea that all this is going on. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a commercial. for a crap and's commercial.
Starting point is 00:11:38 And so now we go to Joal and Ben's cabin. And you know Ben is really upset because he's in his own cabin. And that never happens. He's only there to lay a guilt trip on Jewel. So he's like, are you going to bed? He's like, yeah. By the way, you want to know something funny.
Starting point is 00:11:53 You know, I'm like, I know a lot of things. You know that, right. Yeah, you're intuitive. Is that what you're trying to say? Were you upset when you saw myself and Jenna chilling in the Zon? Jim Coozy? Is that what's going on here? Well, it's okay. She's an attractive woman. She's a regular cheeky cheekbone, if we will. Oh, that really works well. So, Joelle's like, yes, well, I think you've misjudged character.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Most of the conversation we had while we sat there was talking about you and she likes you. Oh, really? Yes. All right. Well, I just need to be very careful about who I fucking spend time with because the next girl that I choose, I would like to have a family with. with. Sure, man. I already fucked it up. I wasted five years of my fucking life. Time is so valuable, man,
Starting point is 00:12:43 when you have a biological clock like I do. So, but trade, trade, trade, trade. So now it's the next morning, five hours until Charter. And Daisy Jennan and, uh, Daisy, the stews are all having a meeting. So Daisy's like, um, all right, a crow mass, blah, blah, blah. All right. Are we going to get some energy?
Starting point is 00:13:05 into ourselves. What's wrong with your girls? What's going on? You seem depressed. Are you depressed? And Alicia's like, no. Well, what's wrong there? Well, I just heard something last night. And I don't know. It's just apparently that whenever you go into the room that you're like bitching about me and stuff, Jenna. And Daisy and Jenna are both like, what? Whoa. And Daisy's like, what did you hear? Where did you hear that? Where? What's going on? She's like, well, I thought we were all fine. And I was like, wait, well, she's like, no. Oh no, you two are my favorites. Of course, you're the only two on my team,
Starting point is 00:13:39 but you're both my favorite of everyone on the team. And I love you as part of my team. I love you as a person. And Alicia, I love you as the wide-eyed idiot that you are. Okay. Well, we're back to being a dream team again? Absolutely, even though Jenna's my favorite. You didn't hear that from me.
Starting point is 00:13:55 Okay. Hands in the middle, two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? Jenna. Oh, sorry. And Alicia. So they decide they're all friends again. And Daisy's like, I don't know. fucking came from. People need to stop stirring
Starting point is 00:14:07 shut and don't fuck with my girls. So Daisy knows who it was, though. She's like, Allie thinks she's so smart, but I can read people like a fucking book. Do not fuck with me, Alley. Is there any other option to read people as?
Starting point is 00:14:23 I can read people as a label on a can. It's like, of course you can read them as a book. I can read people like a Tumblr blog. Which admittedly is, mainly just porn and just visuals, but that's okay. I can read people like an ingredients list on the back of a cereal box.
Starting point is 00:14:45 I can read people like I can read Skywriting, which is I think that's an A, I think that's a B. Are they writing abscess in the sky? I've just stumped myself, damn it. Wait, it went away. Oh, wow. God damn Sky. Don't fuck with me, Sky.
Starting point is 00:15:05 I knew what I meant at one point. So Daisy and Jen are walking together, and Daisy says, I'm pretty sure that's all I. She's a shitster. I don't want to share a cabin with her. And so we just see Ellie dropping a cart in their bags. Oh, God, you've betrayed the betrayed eggs. All right, Joao, come to my cabin.
Starting point is 00:15:30 Come to my cabin. It's like, oh, okay, very excited. And so he's like, I need her start thinking about cabins because it's definitely a female coming in. So she's like, oh, well, we'll share, Daisy. That's okay. Well, you're joke, but I'm trying to keep the changes to a minimum. So my suggestion is you and I shower. You move in here. Ali will move into Addie's room with the new stool. And Eddie can move into Ben's room.
Starting point is 00:15:56 And today might be a good day for that to happen because I think she's coming tomorrow. So let's go. Crack on. And he's like, oh, God, this is exciting. It's intimidating. I'm a little bit nervous. I'm Zim-sited. Oh, when I said Zim-sited, oh, God. Did I mean it? My penis. I meant my penis. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Wow. I'm excited, excited and scared. So, Daisy was like... You're just cabaret ready. I've been singing all to this. I've been quietly singing to this recap here and there.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Great. I am cabaret ready. But I know things now. Many simple things. To have it not to explore. That was one of the songs I was considering. Honestly, I've always wanted to sing that song as Ramona. Whoa, I'm excited and scared. Nice is better than different than good, okay? Who knows everyone? Who knows it?
Starting point is 00:16:51 Because I know things now, many wonderful things that have been not to explore, okay? Mama said, don't be late. The did, I'm in the full. forest and I'm running from my daughter because she looks old now and I look young. She looks like a wolf and I'm young. Anyway. Well, me and Joao sharing a cabin. I think it'll be fun.
Starting point is 00:17:17 I have no issues bucking with guys. And we see a flashback to how she bunked with Garrah. So, uh, did you thought is? I'm the most on romantic person ever. So now, Joow and Ben are talking. And Ben's like, Jois, like, Benji, change the cabins. What seems easiest is if I moved into Daisy's room
Starting point is 00:17:40 and Eddie moves into your room and that will be that. Oh, well, I see how it is. We were once roommates and now you've decided to leave. You know what we call this? Okay, let's play a game. What's the channel that focuses on African American programming?
Starting point is 00:17:58 Beatty. And what is a biopic of a penis? Ray? Sput it together. Who's saying? where the hell is my husband? Raya? Betraya? Ray?
Starting point is 00:18:11 What do you do? What do you do when you go to the racetrack? I bet. And do you ever, do you ever listen to that musician who sings where the hell's my husband? Ray? Put it together.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Okay, so we've got BT. And what is the one app I get rejected on every time I tried to click on somebody's name. Raya? Yes. Now, Adenel, we're good. Betray it? What is...
Starting point is 00:18:44 Okay, a small insect that could sing you. A bee. And how about a singer whose last name ends with songs? Trey. Tray songs. Come on, think about it. The... Trey songs? No.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Cut off the last part. All right, redo, redo. When Ellie is stewardess, she tends to drop... Trays? Yes, all right, we've got it. I don't get it. Trees bet? Trees bet?
Starting point is 00:19:15 What are trees betting on? God damn it. Retail, man. I'm talking about betrayal. Okay. Here we go. Fill in the blank. Blank Midler.
Starting point is 00:19:25 Uh, okay. From a distance. Uh, when beneath my wings? Uh, big business. Uh, oh, it's fortune. for the boys, ah, Don't out of Beverly Hills, ah. All right, you don't know any Bet Midler.
Starting point is 00:19:39 That is a betrayal. That is a betrayal. I will not room with you anymore. Why didn't you say ruthless people? I was almost there. So now Jo-Jua is telling Eddie that he's moving in with Ben, and Eddie's like, for folks' sake, why are we doing that? What are we doing this supposed to do that? Why don't nice guys ever get to moving with girls? New girl. And now he's like, okay.
Starting point is 00:20:02 So get that change. in the next hour so it's not chaos during dinner. Nailed it. Oh, you think you're upset? Well, guess who's with the trash can now? Me. That's right. Now, nobody better take any shrimp out of my fingers for the rest of the day.
Starting point is 00:20:17 So then, um, uh, Elie's like, Oh, I don't know what's going on with this Daisy and Joelle situation, but now they're moving in together. It's almost like they're targeting certain things to get a reaction out of me. Like, no, you betrayed the secrecy of... the chief stew room by telling Alicia what was being said to Jenna. So you're being kicked out of Daisy's room. That's what happened.
Starting point is 00:20:43 It's not to get a reaction out of you. It's a reaction to you. Yes. It's a reaction to you. Yeah. So Ellie takes her pillows into the new room. And Eddie is like, well, I like how you're taking your pillows as well. It's like, yeah, because I make my bed so nicely and everything's clean.
Starting point is 00:20:59 I will keep mine. clean bedroom and like trash cat bedroom and Joao and Daisy. So now Joao and Daisy are in the mess and have not much to talk about. It's really, they really, I mean, they're, their chemistry.
Starting point is 00:21:15 It's really not there. Not much to talk about. So we go to the galley and Ellie is like, well, I don't know how Daisy, like, I mean, she pays no attention. And it's like, well, she seems to be really unaware of everything, doesn't she? Good.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Terrible. Look at all this nothing, Joow's been doing God. Yeah. And then meanwhile, Daisy's still just like talking to Jewel and she's like, do you know what Ellie did? She's like, called up to Alicia and
Starting point is 00:21:42 Daisy and Jenna bitch about you. Oh, that's a very strange Zim thing to say. She's such a fucking shit stare. And then meanwhile, I think Ali, like five feet away, Ellie's like, and then when Daisy left, he spent like an hour with Jenna in the hot tub and do you think we should let Daisy know like he's making a fool at her?
Starting point is 00:21:58 He's like shamelessly flirting. with her. And Daisy like, am I interrupting something? Huh? Oh? What? Weep. No, just interrupting the fine art of selling carrots for milk. That's it. Just planning out the fruit plan for the week. So Daisy's a caulter.
Starting point is 00:22:18 So now Jason's radioing a 25 minute warning for guest arrival. And Jawal walks in on Daisy in a towel. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I should probably still knock on the Zim when I come in. I come in. Oh, sorry. Oh, geez. Oh, my goodness. Oh, whoa. All right, crew, crew, crew, get in your whites. I'll be distributing some earplugs for dealing with Brenner's incessant chatter. All right. Get ready. So Daisy gives a tour and they're really sweet people. They seem very nice. And they're like, oh, my God. Oh, you're right. It was the friend Kim. The friend Kim is like, it would be nice to have a picture of a group of us before we leave Port before my hair turns.
Starting point is 00:22:59 wet and I look like mona off of friends. I don't know who that is, but here's an elevator if you need to use it. Oh, yeah, well, I was trapped in an elevator once. Fell a couple of flights on me. Luckily, I didn't get hurt because I landed on my own poofy hair. It's like a cushion. This is Kim. Kim is something else.
Starting point is 00:23:20 So now Alicia, Brenna and Sujay's parents. Brenna's like, do you guys need help unpacking? And he says, no. Well, I think Alicia says that. She's like, do you guys need help unpacking? And she's like, they're like, no, we'll unpack everything. We're used to that. And Lisa's like, I just love old people.
Starting point is 00:23:38 You know, maybe it's because I was close with my grandma, but they're just so cute old people. They're like little turtles. You know, you just want to pinch them. Ow! Ow! Yeah, there was a video this week that went viral because there's a guy. Did you see this guy was in the ocean like a scuba dive or something and a sea turtle just swam right up to him and then slapped him in the face with its fin. Yeah, you saw that.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Yeah. Yes. I thought it was like a little overblown. It just like was a little tap. It wasn't like it was like. It was just like a little like. Yeah. It was like, oh, hey, you're in the ocean.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Hey buddy. Here comes one right now. Maybe is this a time to check in on our. Well, hey, we're only three hours into this recap. We should do it. Fish report. Fish report. Fish report.
Starting point is 00:24:47 Now it's time for a fish report. Where is it? Um, it should be. Oh, did you put it in the drop box? Oh, I didn't even know that you did that. I was like, well, I'm taking on the fish report today. Let's see how it goes. Okay, I've got it now.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Fish report, fish report. It's still going to be the fish report. It's low tide right now. So we're just waiting for that fish report to sail into the lagoon. Here it comes. Here we go. Okay. Yeah, this was a big, there was, I had to edit some out,
Starting point is 00:25:22 and there still are so many fish this week. Because last week was a kind of a bit of a dud. But this week, it's out of control, everyone. Take it's not only the fish is the scenery. I mean, this scenery right here looks like a digestive tract of a human. If you look at it. Yeah. Yeah, it does. And what we see here, Ronnie hasn't even press play yet. But what we see here is like a little chorus of eels. And then you don't see him coming out from the esophagus here. But then it gives us a close up. And they are these. Yeah. This guy really really hogs the camera. So like all the eels in the background are clearly. singing the part of Bohemian Rhapsody. You know, we're like,
Starting point is 00:26:03 we're like, we are a poor boy from a full family. Sparing his life from his ones a lot of it. Galileo, Galileo. And if you go, wait, big fish comes, Big Gil comes in.
Starting point is 00:26:20 I'm a poor boy from a poor family. On the poor, he's just a boy from a poor family, sparing his life of his own. That. Yeah. I'm already apologizing to people who are not watching the video because this sounds arranged. It does like every time we move this one, every time we move this one, the one to the left keeps opening it's mouth.
Starting point is 00:26:43 For people who are only listening, this is a great time to sign up to watch on Patreon, but what we are watching. It's just like a bunch of little eels all clustered together sticking out of a reef, but then this one is, one like obnoxious eel just pops up right in front of the camera and like blocks everyone from view like I'm the eel star I'm just a poor boy from a four family he's just a poor boy from a family no no no no no it's fun calalillo galileo da da da
Starting point is 00:27:19 oh oh so good okay next step we have um a jellyfish It's a nice one, though. Nice polka dots. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, good polka this week. This is a influencer jellyfish who has one of those little drone cameras that just tracks his head as he. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:41 It's like, yeah. Yeah, people are like, what's that noise? It's like, oh, it's a drone. Buy those poop shakes, everybody. Buy those poop shakes. Listen, does your stomach feel like jelly? You need a better shake. It's sort of like wearing Ed Hardy, though.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Like, look at all those speckles. It's like a little bit like. It's an influencer fish. It's like no one respects this fish. Okay, so now we go to one of these long... I love those. Chiro fish. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:08 It's like, or it's like a, it's like a, it's like a, like a fife. Like, you know, like someone should pick it up and play it as part of a marching band and do like Revolutionary War. It's like, I like these because they're kind of cute. They're like, I'm slender. That's my personality. Yeah, I'm thin. You know what?
Starting point is 00:28:28 Then shaming is really mean too, you guys. But I like it's just getting pushed by the current. It's like, you know what? I'm not even going to try. I'm just going to see where the current takes me. I'm just the stick of a person. Now, this is two fish in a row that we get that are making no effort. They're just sick of the camera crew.
Starting point is 00:28:47 This one's just like, I'm dead. Please stop filming me. And then we get to this turtle who's also like, I'm not even moving for you people anymore. Okay? I'm just going to float. It's a red turtle also, which I'm not used to. This is very super Mario coded. We're so used to the green turtles.
Starting point is 00:29:00 We're like, this sea turtle does not fall off the edge. When this sea turtle reaches the end of the coral, it turns around and goes the other direction. And then we get another, our favorite couple, the turtle and the starfish. This is the best. We love the turtle and the starfish. This is, for those who don't remember, we have a big red starfish that's just on the bottom of the seafloor. And we have this sea turtle that has just been hanging around it for a few weeks now, just, you know, coming around. courting it, telling it jokes, et cetera, bringing it coffee.
Starting point is 00:29:31 We love this duo. Yes, now there's a podcast called Above Deck Podcast. Hi, girls, we love you. And they recap the fish report sometimes and explain to us what we're getting wrong. And I was watching a clip that they had on Instagram, and they were talking about this red starfish and this turtle. And they were saying, you know, how I said, well, the starfish can't run. So this is just like the guy who's like, I'm going to find a girl without legs so that I can just
Starting point is 00:29:58 like hit on her and she can never leave like boxing helena type thing and they were like no actually starfish do move i know they move i'm not like completely dumb but then they put a video of all these starfishes walking all over which was crazy yeah they do but don't they walk i think it was a sped up video because starfish walk very slowly don't they don't think that i can't weigh in on but when they walk they they sort of prance along the floor which is kind of fun creepy yeah creepy as fuck i'll say that but anyway this turtle is the eddy of the sea It's just like, but I'm still here, but I'm so nice. Why wouldn't you pay me any mind?
Starting point is 00:30:32 I'll just see this piece of rice. I'm a good guy. All right. So next up. Oh my God, the office bore. Look at this big redfish. So this one is like, guys, did anyone watch, anyone that watched yesterday last night?
Starting point is 00:30:50 It was really funny. Like this is someone who does not know about like what's going on with Sierra. Who's Sierra Miller again? like they just don't know what like the pop culture things are they're just like yeah yeah i've just been um i just really watch reruns of two and a half men he's like anybody watched channel five last night did you know that there's a sitcom starring paul blart the mall cop he just ruins everything and he like sits down during the break at your table and you have to have a conversation with him it's like what are you doing this weekend not much uh i may uh i may
Starting point is 00:31:26 I may reframe my windows. Thanks. I'm actually working on a letter to the network to complain that I saw Jeopardy reuse a question last night. I saw it six years ago. I like that fish in the background, by the way. Sorry. There's a like a, not that one. There's like a silhouetted fish to the left, to the left.
Starting point is 00:31:49 No, it's like below. If you look, it's kind of ominous. It looks almost like the alien. That one. Yeah, look at it. its jaw. It has like almost it looks like it looks like a little whale but it's a fish. It's like a baby whale that just wants to be one of the fish. It does look like a whale. Yeah. You're a whale. And this one's had too much group on lip surgery. This one over here.
Starting point is 00:32:14 They're like I'm so sick of looking like everybody else. I'm getting my lips done. They're like, whoa, whoa, went a little far there, buddy. Okay. Marie. Okay, just because you saw an offer doesn't mean you have to take it. You might do my lips not look good? It was cheap. It was two for one fillers. Okay, so we go to this. This is, what is this a fish?
Starting point is 00:32:36 What is this thing? So we see this little thing that like blooms into, it looks like it's blooming into two orange pine trees or pine cones. Yeah. This one was one of the stars of the week, I think. This is amazing. It just pops open. And they put this right after Mike got fired.
Starting point is 00:32:52 It was almost like, yay. it's all this is how to do bad hair yes this is a real this is definitely someone who's on like fish broadway it's like hello okay i'm just doing a scene this is the book part of the musical and now the song starts playing yeah this is awesome number whatever this is amazing now we get the eel you know no this is i think this is a see snake because I mean the body in the back looks a little bit like an eel but that's definitely a snake head that's not an eel head right you know snakes are I don't know but snakes are definitely scary looking things but when you really look at them are they look how
Starting point is 00:33:37 cute this that's cute I have to say this is one of the cutest snakes we've seen I had the same feeling I was like this snake is so fucking cute it's just like moving around looking for things happy yeah I'm gonna strangle you later but you know what I don't mean anything personal oh now we get a weird jellyfish who's just like what is it learning how to do the breaststroke what are you doing on the top of the water this jellyfish this is a beautiful jellyfish by the way so it's a it's a bright purple it's got purples and pinks it's just like a fabulous jellyfish but it's also so dramatic it's just like i'm done i can't go out on stage anymore i've given all i can to the theater and what do i get back in return nothing and the little
Starting point is 00:34:19 fish are like come on susan you got to get back out there they want you come Come on. Like I will not. I will not look at anybody ever again. And they poke their head out from under. Is everybody gone? No, you're still here. Get out.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Get out. Look at you. This jellyfish also is very rosy coated from Real House House of Rhode Island. Like this is basically what every dress looks like that Rosie wears. It's like this color and kind of the same ruffles. But done right. You know, this just cute. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:50 Then we get another amazing fish. What the fuck is this thing? What is this? It looks like a flat leaf, but then it starts like twirling itself like a, I guess like a stingray moves. You know how it can flap its wings or whatever? What the hell is this? It looks like gorgeous. It looks like a piece of flotsam.
Starting point is 00:35:09 I'm trying to figure out where its face is. I think it might be all the way at the back. I don't know. I can't figure this. Stunning. If it's just, by the way, if this winds up being just like some leaf that's blowing around in the current and we're like, look at this fish. I'll be embarrassed, but I think it is a fish. So it doesn't look like a leaf.
Starting point is 00:35:27 I mean, look, it's got the thick. I mean, this is just amazing, whatever. I've never seen. It's just seen American beauty. It's like, here my plastic bag, blowing in the wind. I feel like the back is where its head is in a weird way, right? Look all the way to the right side. All the way to the right.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Yeah, because. That looks kind of like a head, but then swimming backwards. But then look, the head turns into like the leaf. And I think this is the head. here this all the way to the left this triangle thing we need a marine biologist no that's not the head either this is absolutely stunning whatever this thing is i'm gonna take a picture of it and enter into google and see if it like comes up with anything um i'm gonna wait oh wait stop me what shape do you want it paused in this one no i like uh this that one yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna
Starting point is 00:36:17 enter it in i'm taking a screenshot and i'm gonna say what type of fish is this okay Okay. We're doing on the fly marine biology because that's the sort of podcast that we are right now. I don't think it's going to be able to get it, but I don't know. I don't think so either, but I'm going to ask. We're going to see. It says, oh, oh, oh, oh, without even me asking, it's called, This Creature in the Image is a Spanish dancer, Nudy Branch. Whoa, Nudy Branch is one of the largest sea slugs in the world. How about that?
Starting point is 00:36:50 Wow, I could see. I see what they call it a Spanish. dancer because it really does look like the flamenco dress that's beautiful yes span and you know what there was a fish last week that we said looked like a like a flamenco dancer you about a basso okay so these are little are these little baby catfish what are these things they have it looks like it so it looks like there's two things going on here it looks like we got like a bunch of little baby catfish but then it looks like there's one of those lion fish that's just like watching it it's like a per god it's going to eat it or something it's one of the ones with all the hell razor prongs coming out of
Starting point is 00:37:21 Yeah. Yeah. But then you got all these little baby fish coming out, which is, I'm like, I don't know what's happening there. I wonder if that's what these little Hellraiser fish look like as babies, maybe. It's not because I asked this question to Dom and he looked it up while we were watching the show and said, this is not what baby lionfish look like. And look at the lionfish's whiskers. They're like leaves. They're like branches with leaves on them. Oh my God. The sea is just something else. Is this lionfish like Gandalf and these little, he's like the little hobbit fish just to bring it back? He's like, come up, come quickly. We must deposit the ring into underwater bordeur.
Starting point is 00:38:00 I don't know. I love his outfit. I would say that he doesn't know how to put it on the eyeliner because he put it on vertically instead of horizontally. And he looks crazy. No, he's like having a David Bowie moment. Are you trying to like go out to a club or are you trying to get a key stuck into you because you look like a keyhole, sir?
Starting point is 00:38:18 it's going to a club let's be honest yeah club okay then we get a silver fish i wanted to highlight this one because look how silver it is it's so metallic it's like i'm going to club night as well it's also so basic like they showed set and foster at the mat gala and she's it's like the mat gala and she's wearing just like a plain silver dress and he grats just wearing a plain tuxedo it's like did you even make any effort like that's a pretty dress but you're in the ocean like what are you doing Sutton Foster but it is so classic I mean this is this is kind of giving Durinda's Jazz or size suit you know or Dorinda size whatever she called her thing like this is this is definitely 80s metallics going on here it wasn't a kind of classic way
Starting point is 00:39:02 okay here we go tiny face coming out little tiny face how cute oh my god it's Bernadette Peters yeah this is a very cute fish just a little face coming out of a rock. Yeah, really cute. And then finally, we have to end with classic shark on the floor. The shark on the floor. This time it's in a different place. Normally it's by the reef, but this time it's like, okay, you know what? I moved so that way you wouldn't follow me. And you're still watching me. And look, it's looking at us. Like, are you serious? I'm just trying to take a nap around here. And it's doing a down dog. It's like, oh, it's like breathing his mouth is open. And it's like, oh.
Starting point is 00:39:45 I believe that would actually be, that would be like, Cobra Pose or Up Dog. Down Dog is when you're up. Down dog, you're right. What do you call that one when you come up from the down dog? You go down dog. No, you get into the plank position and then you come up. What's that one?
Starting point is 00:40:01 It could be cobra or it could be. Girl, I don't know what that's called. I haven't done yoga in 10 years. That's what that's called. Very good. Fish Report. Excellent fish report. Great fish report.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Well, excellent fish. I don't know how the report was, but it was a great fish. Yeah, great fish. Okay. That has been the fish report. Fish report. Pish report. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:23 So now Ellie in the galley is like, you know, Ben, I'm proud of myself because I had chance to react to certain things that have been happening and I didn't. Yes, you did. What are you talking about? You went and tried to ruin everybody's reputation behind their back. How is that not doing something? It's like, good for you. Yeah, like this person is here, but like,
Starting point is 00:40:43 I'm already kind of releasing their existence from my mind, if you know what I mean? Like, they're very erased, as evidenced by the next several things that I will say. Erased. Mm-hmm. Yes, it is skill. You learn after working C for eight years. But it's not easy, is it? He's like, Ellie is clearly slightly obsessed with Jewel.
Starting point is 00:41:04 Yeah, you think? So then we see, like, a montage of Ellie's just saying things like, You know, you should have seen him last night after the hot tub? Have you ever seen a wet trash can? That was him. Okay, he's 35. He's sad. I don't even get a...
Starting point is 00:41:22 Give a fuck. Go away, loser. Well, the less you say on boats, the better, right? He's like, I'm trying to be nice and friendly, but this is juvenile. I mean, scrap them, move on. Like, let's focus. Oh, my God, I had a terrible last nightmare last night. Daisy attacked me in my sleep, and I was trying to wake up.
Starting point is 00:41:40 And I was like, please, Daisy, no. Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. The irony of Ellie having that dream when everyone else on the boat thinks that Ellie is going to do that to them and they're not even asleep. So then, so then Daisy is like asking about what the dinner is going to be tonight and the guests are arriving at dinner in their 80s outfits, et cetera. And so the first thing is going to be shrimp cocktail. So since the guests are seated, they're going to start putting the shrimp cocktail together. So Ben is putting shrimp in a glass. Daisy's putting shrimp.
Starting point is 00:42:13 They're sort of like racking them on the side, on the rim of the glass in a classic style. So then Ellie comes over. So I will help. I will help. Don't worry. I got it. I will help. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:42:26 Don't worry. I was like, oh, shit, Daisy got. Daisy's got them. All right. Nice. And so Ben walks away. And then Ellie just snaps the shrimp out of Daisy's hands and start doing it herself. And Daisy's like, oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:42:41 She just goes and white. her hand on a paper towel and now she's fulman she's fjormon who the fuck grabs something out of someone's hand who does that so daisy is so mad so she serves this rageful shrimp cocktail and everyone's enjoying it and then um downstairs ellie is she's like 35 year old fuck boy what is she's just still going off on jo wow so daisy comes back and holds joow's hands in the crew mess and ellie sees it so daisy is like fighting the war on her own front which i love and ben's like oh god i'm actually daisy daisy we're pretty good here come on back in here and she goes what am i taking now new york strip bernays and pompspure so she takes them and she's still really pissed so now daisy and elise are in the hallway
Starting point is 00:43:29 and she's like me and her are gonna fight i mean what did she say to you last night tell me every bit i was more like about jenna she was like you can't trust jenna she's a snake what where was I during this? You'd gone to bed? Well, she obviously has a problem with me. And I'm fulmin over this. Please don't say anything. I won't.
Starting point is 00:43:49 But what the fuck do you think this is? Days of Our Lives. Which, by the way, impressed with the international reach of... I'd not say. Impressed with the international reach of Days of Our Lives. Yeah. Alicia doesn't know. She's like, what?
Starting point is 00:44:02 What's that? So now we go to Daisy, Alicia, Elie and Betul. They're all in the crew mess. And Ellie's like, Oh, Daisy. Are you upset with me? You look very upset with me. Grapes, four for five dollars.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Four for five dollar grapes. Well, I don't appreciate somebody grabbing shrimp out of my hands during dinner service when I'm trying to help. But it was because I was going to do it faster. Oh, you're going to put shrimp in a glass faster? Faster than Icon? Do you know my name is called D-A-I-S-Y- and the S stands for shrimp as in shrimp in a glass putter?
Starting point is 00:44:35 I know what I'm doing. But you were having trouble putting it from the two signs. So I was just standing on the side and so I put it in. That's my job to help the chef. Well, yeah, that's also the job. It's also my job to help the shift. We're all a team. We're here to help.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Don't grab something out to my hands when we're in the middle of dinner service. Oh, no, goodness, Daisy. Calm down. You're very intense. Oh, you're doing this on purpose. I love it. Ellie's staying completely calm to call somebody else crazy. I mean, it's masterful.
Starting point is 00:45:06 And it's so great. I also, I love how. Daisy has no qualms putting people in their place when they've overstepped. I just love how assertive she is about this sort of stuff. And I find it to be very admirable. I also think it's hilarious that she's literally literally sitting there like yelling about shrimp. Yeah, you just grab the shrimp onto my hand.
Starting point is 00:45:29 It grabbed the shrimp out during dinner service. Yeah. And that's where Ellie's very smart, you know, because she did something where if she takes the shrimp out of Daisy's hand, she can just say, I'm in charge of. of doing this. I was just trying to help and not make service do it. What's a big deal? But she knows what she was doing. She knows. Normally she would say, and ask like, why are you upset? She could have just said, sorry, I was in the zone. I wasn't even thinking about it. I just sort of like saw the shrimp and I was like, oh, here, I'll just do it. But she's like, why are you getting
Starting point is 00:45:59 crazy, Daisy? What is wrong with you, Daisy? Do you need the people to bed? Hugging too much trash can lately going to brain? Fucking gaslighting me left and fucking right and center on fucking real and then ellie goes back into the galley she's like oh she's crazy like literal gas sliding love it they use the term so much on reality tv that i love when it actually happens it is so funny um and it's great this is such a good season i'm i'm loving i think that like blow deck down under i think they've never had a bad season i think this is like what this is season four, four seasons in a row of just like great drama. Wow, they're killing it on this one, killing it. That was a good one. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being with us. We will be back
Starting point is 00:46:47 here next week. Go get tickets for our cabaret in New York for June 5th at 930. Or if you want to watch on June 3rd, there's going to be three live streams. You can watch any one of them. Just find ticket links at watch whatcrapins.com and we will talk to you next time. Bye. Watch What Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. She answered the call, it's Adia Paul. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Our way is the Amber Way.
Starting point is 00:47:13 It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clap. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Alford. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchels.
Starting point is 00:47:27 We never miss her call. It's Diane Call. Sunday in the park with Dylan Clark. Big Yay, it's Emily Gautier. Aaron McNicholas. She don't miss no trickulous. You'll never. her hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no last
Starting point is 00:47:43 namey. Jamie, she has no last namey. Zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manaw. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Kay Sarrah, sirrah, whatever will be will Lauren Sillsby. She gets a name from us. It's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy. It's Amazing McKinery. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the burg. This is Living with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia Williamson.
Starting point is 00:48:16 She sure is swell. It's Raquel. Yes, we can, uh, it's Sedana. Cast a Spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge. Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.
Starting point is 00:48:35 We're taking the gold with Brose. Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Put us on a stretcher. It's Charlotte Fletcher. Hogle your horses. It's Christine Hogle. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish. Have a kebab with Kay Rob. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. Let's get Savage with Laura Wildman. In the study with a candle station. it's Leslie Peacock. We're right or die for Lisa Ryder Baron.
Starting point is 00:49:11 She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. Always killing it. It's Low Alcalani. Roger that. It's Marlis Rogers. The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. She's the lady of the house. It's Rachel Chorouse. There's a chance of meatballs. It's Rebecca Cloud. She's our princess. It's Rebecca Prince.
Starting point is 00:49:31 She's the Queen Bee. It's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie. It's Sarah Tell of Sun. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony Please don't stop it's solely and pop Let's take off with Tamla plane Strike a pose it's Tori Rose She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar We love you guys

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.