Watch What Crappens - #3355 Southern Hospitality S4E10: Punta I Can’ta

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

The cast of Southern Hospitality is still in Punta Cana and Emmy still can’t understand what she’s done wrong. Just leave her there. Lake makes up with Mia and Molly, and all it took was getting caught in a lie about swapping fluids with the Milk Man. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello, and welcome to watch what crap is, a podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Yeo Braves. I'm Ronnie. That's Benuni over there. Hello, Ben. How are you, your little darling face? I'm great, thank you. How are you doing? Good.

Better for seeing your little face, that's for sure. Really? Really? Thanks. Thanks. Likewise. Everybody, welcome to the show. It is Southern Hospital Day.

We'll be doing a cabaret in New York called Forbidden House House House. wives at Cabaret 42 on June 3rd and June 5th. We had two shows, though, sold out, so we added a third show at 9.30 p.m. on June 5th. That's a Friday, New York City, be there or be square. It's going to be so fun. We're working on the show right now. You know, or it could be a disaster. We don't really know.

But we're going to have fun either way. So join us for that. Also, if you want this episode on Vigya, you can get it on Patreon. It's also where you get bonus episodes at Free Listening. Discord server and a free weekly blog about all things Bravo. You don't have to really do anything, but just go sign up for free for that. And today is Southern Hospitality Season 4, Episode 10. You can't go to church with us.

Well, we are back in Punta Kana. And by the way, there was some discussion mainly from me about, hey, what was the thing that Pekai said on Beverly Hills? Like Pontecana, that's where you go. It was Pontomita. Punta. That's correct. That is actually correct. So for the Mita heads out there, you know, I love to correct something. So that's the correction. So we're at dinner. So Michaels is in the bathroom because he had just tried to get through to Emmy and about microaggressions and not feeling heard. And her response was, but he was at my door stalking me. I'm about threatening to kill me.

So he got it they basically decided to like put a pin in it. He's frustrated. He wants to cry because it's like his good friend. You won't even hear him. And obviously there's like a lot of stuff wrapped up in this. And he is frustrated, deservedly so with her. So he's in the bathroom with Maddie and he's crying. And he's like, you can't help but like make these things about yourself 24 seven.

Emmy. Like biggest issue is that you're selfish. She's so selfish. And Emmy is like, she is. She's at the dinner table. She's at the dinner table. Like, so, like, what are the vibes? Like, what are the vibes post dinner?

Are we going to party? Or, like, what are we doing? We're going to have fun, right? Like, what, what's, like, what was your conversation like? Because, like, he's, like, mute. So, like, how did that conversation go at me? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, was it a one-sided? Or was you guys, were you guys able to converse?

Like, one-sided? Was it, were you just talking the old side? No, no, not at all. Who are you talking about one-sided? Do you feel like you got somewhere? Got somewhere? Yeah. I mean, yeah, we did.

I think. I don't know. So, no, Michaels is like, I literally said to her, let's just table the conversation because I feel like we're not going to get anywhere. And then I mean, it's like, yeah, I just was like we felt, I just felt like we really pushed forward. It was a very pushing forward conversation. Like, we actually really got somewhere.

We got to many places. Like, if this were a AAA. Triptych, we'd have been like, got to all the places, because we did it all. We got to so many places. We literally got nowhere while we accomplished so much. It was great, guys. Guys, I mean, like, guys, I mean it, like, I could not have been more respectful of Michaels in that situation. Like, could I have? Could someone maybe explain to me? Like, like, how it could have been better in that situation? Because, like, I think it was pretty good. So, I think I was very respectful, considering that my life was being threatened in that moment. So, so. So. So.

So Michaels is like, yeah, my points were not heard. Because it's like one thing for her to like hear or say something, but like it's also another thing to like understand the thing. And like, she never listened. She's so selfish. Well, you guys like, listen, like, you know what? Progress is progress. And like, I'll take whatever progress I can get with Michaels.

I put an O at the end of it. I'll eat the soup. Okay. I'm into it. And Michaels is like, we got nowhere. Like, I don't want to be upset. Like, do you do you look like? I was, do I look like I was crying?

Maddie's like, you look fine. It's like, okay, I'm fine, I'm fine. So they returned to the table and DJ checks on Michaels and he's like, nods, he's fine, whatever. And so Molly is like, on that note, I'm going to go to the bar. Who wants to come? It's me, Molly. I'm ready to have a scene, everyone.

They're like, yay, Molly. So Michaels is saying it's his first time in the DR in 16 years. And he wants to have a good time and have some drinks and throw some ass and have some ass thrown to him. and Emmy's not going to take ass being thrown in his face. Damn it. So she's like, oh, yeah, I mean, like, we're partying. This is great, but you know, I'm just going to go back to the room.

I'm going to go back to the room and chill. Please, nobody stalk the room. That would be nice. Okay. There will be a guard at the door, everyone. So Michaels is like, oh, my God, he says in Spanish, I'm tired of that bitter hag. So it's a new day. It's a new morning.

And Michael and T.J. go wake everyone in their villa up and Brad's texting Julia because he misses her because she's not there and now everyone gets ready to meet up and Michael's is like everybody listen we're going to go to the buffet and we're going to eat and then afterwards we're going to like go to these waterfalls and sonotes and then they're like we're going to zip line and do all these like funny things and then we're going to like make a safe word for drama today okay because if anyone makes today about themselves you're fucking selfish and they're like okay cool so what's the cell what's Bella is like hi I'm Bella I'm in the cast photo what's the safe word

Is the safe word Bella? Please let it be Bella. No, the safe word is plantain. Plantain is the safe word. That's to try and figure out what a plantain is because some really white people. I mean, my gosh. A white person, but I know what a plantain is. Come on, it's a hard banana, people.

Jeez. So Molly's like, yeah, I don't know what a plantain. Like, what is a plantain? And TJ's like, is it bamboo? Oh, is it that thing that you got on in the Bible? on your foot, you got to go see a podiatrist, you got to take it off. No, that's a planter, Walt, or it. Is it like a mushroom?

Molly's like, I don't know. And Joe says, a plantain is a banana, but it's like, not a banana. It's, but it's in the same family as a banana. They're like, wow, hardly anybody knew that. And he's like, yeah, well, I'm cultured. So. He's been to a supermarket, everyone. Yeah, like a banana, like a banana is an emo-vers.

version of a plantain because it's like softer. I was shocked that they did not know what plantains were. Like I was legitimately shocked. So they go to breakfast and... Is it a place that Blake lively gets married at? That's a plantation. Did they get married at plantation? Yes.

I guess, you know what, honestly, I really don't pay attention to Blake lively news. I'm like not even... I don't really either. I don't even know why. It's just the first plantation reference I could come up with. Because I remember her being troubled for that. It was pretty problematic. Well, I mean, it's problematic, but like it could get much worse.

So, yeah, you know, Blake lively, I really don't pay attention to any of the news. And honestly, I did not care at all about her issues with Justin Baldoni. And people would constantly be like, say, who's side are you on? Blakes or Justin's. I'm like, I'm on the side of like doing something else with my. time i literally don't care and like i nearly wept i'm on the side of better movies okay i'm on the side of yeah movies how about that i'm on the side of blair waldorf was always more appealing to me than anything serena did yes true i didn't yeah i didn't follow that that either and it's still going on

i think because i no they finished it suggested stuff oh they finished oh who won they've they settled out of court ahead of the trial they settled like two days ago it was like they settled and then Blake lively went and did the Met Gala. Oh, there's one there's. That's why this one does. The Jeff Bezos Met Gala. So, yeah, so now they're going to breakfast. And Michael's is like, oh, there's one plate for sweets,

so I'm going to get a healthy stuff on my other plate. I like this little frown. Just so everyone wants it. I know. He's like, I still contend that he looks like B. Arthur. I'm sorry. Um, like a hot B. Arthur. That's like a high compliment, by the way.

I wish I could like B. Arthur. Um, so, but again, hot B. Arthur. So this, uh, so he's going to have two, two, two plates, which is great. Um, and, uh, then Lake is, uh, she's emerging from the buffet and the sliding door just closes slowly on her. It's like an automatic door and just closes on her. And I was like, yep. doesn't know how to open it. I like that she just like puts her fingers up against the door and like streaks them across and it opens. It actually works. Michael's talked to that door

ahead of time. If you see like like clothes, close right on her. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. So they're like, should we, she goes, should we cheers? Um, what? What should we cheers about? Plantain. And so Molly's stressed because she sees, she sees stupid Emmy. And she's like, I mean, every time Emmy walks into a room, I just feel like the oxygen is like, I mean, she's bringing down vibes, okay? I mean, how can you have bad energy in Punta Kana? Go ask the real housewives of New Jersey, because they're the ones who got into a fight there. They literally got kicked out of Punta Kana, okay?

I think they're banned from ever going back. Yes. They got thrown in jail, didn't they? It was the whole thing. thrown in jail in Putticana? When does the statue of libertations, limitations, end on that because that happened on camera.

And I think we are owed that footage. Yes, whenever we see the Thailand footage. No, not Thailand. The real housewives girl trip to Morocco. Morocco, yes. We saw it. Okay, here's a message to the hackers of the world.

Instead of focusing on leaking things like West Wilson's nudes, can we leak things like footage from this fight? Or, or a real housewives girls trip Morocco. Like let's... Yes. The stuff we actually want to see. Yeah.

Things that would actually give us a boner, like the Jersey husbands being thrown in jail in Punta Conna. Yeah. Thanks. Exactly. That's what I want. What was the name of that one hacker group? Anonymous?

Anonymous. Like, focus on that. Please. So are we excited for Maddie's gig tomorrow, everybody? Let's clap for Maddie. And they're like, oh, my God. And Molly's like, I want to speak. Like, obviously,

we need to focus on individual relationships and this trip is a really good time to figure that out. It is too early for this shit. Okay. Well, you know what? The only person I'm awkward with is Lake and that's her issue.

So I've done nothing to you. Like, what have I done to you? What have I done to you? Um, well, there was just like some weird energy at the very beginning of the summer. And then they showed the clip of Molly walking by Republic without saying hi to Lake. just and then like fast forward you know like the whole paint and poor thing and like I didn't want to work with you

but like I had to because love him made me like said I had had to hire you to be like that party planner and I think I like didn't want to do in the first place because there was like no trust there just because I didn't say hi to you like get over it yeah but um these like shade things that have put me in a dis have put me in a displacement because there's now like these new rumors that I hear that you're coming like coming up with like you had a call with Michaels at asking if I had a threesome with Oshin on the night of the Emona, and it's like not true. But you did hook up with O'Sine now. No, fuck out. Get the fuck out of here. No, that's valid, though. That's valid. No, I went home with one person, and that was Nessa, the girl that I was with.

And also, O'Sheen. I mean, no, just Nessa. I heard Molly spreading this rumor from Jordan, and it's like, why not go to me about it? Like, I already hate you, bitch. You want me to hate you times two? So Brad's like, now, well, I will say Joe at Saltwater Cowboys was like, the name of the bars in Charleston is so funny. We were at Saltwater Cowboys and like Maddie and her roommate think that that did, Joe did say that Maddie and her roommates think that it happened. Wait, wait, wait, what?

Brad's like, yeah, you said it, Salwater Cowboys. You said it. And he's like, no, no, that's not what I said. And we see a flashback to Joe going, oh, guys, I'm not gossiping. at all, but my roommates think Lachine how to threesome with Lake and that girl she was hooking up with, so. Are you talking about the saltwater

Cowboys in Charleston or the Saltwater Cowboys in Folly? Oh, Folly. Oh, yeah, Folly. Okay. So Joe's like, well, okay, I might have loose lips, but compared to this group, I'm a fucking vault. I keep all my secrets in my hair. Call back, mean girls. Joe, Joe knows better than to spread

an unconfirmed rumor, especially to Bradley Carter. Like, why would you do that? You Fucked up, Joe. Mia chimes in. I actually heard it from someone else very close to Lake in the proximity of her sitting down. And then it just points to Michaels. Apparently Michaels was the one gossiping.

I mean, they're all, it's just so funny. Like, no one, like, I don't know if anyone watching cares if Lake had a threesome with Oshin, but they're, like, really talking about it, like, this, this major rumor. And they've all talked about it clearly because it's coming from all sides. Yeah. And he was just like, don't ask me. Well, yeah, but, like, it's the fact that there was a rumor in the first place. And like, I know you probably didn't start it.

But, like, whether you do a phone call to somebody asking them about it, that's how the rumor grows legs. She's like, okay, but I heard it. So I immediately called Michaels and I said, did this happen? It wasn't me being like, oh my God, this happened. I was saying, like, did it happen? It's the same thing in this case, I think. And Michael's like, she literally asked like one question and like, no was the answer. Like, we moved on.

Well, but like, I wish you would have told me the second my name was mentioned. He's like, um, I didn't tell her because like, girl, it's like not that deep. I don't have to tell you the second it's mentioned when it's about a threesome. I have to tell you the third it's mentioned. And Brad's like, wait, but okay, but after prom night last year, did you sleep with O'Sheen then? And she's like, no, I did not. And just like, uh, yeah, you have. You did though.

Yeah, you did. Uh-huh. You hooked up with him for like two straight days is what he said. And Brad goes, thank you. And so like just starts laughing because she's just so blatantly caught. She realizes her house of cards of being angry is just like falling over. And she's like, shut up, Joe, shut up. Oh, it's like, but why would you lie about hooking up with O'Shin though?

Like, he's a great guy. Like, look at O'Sheen's reputation. Like, he's a great, great guy. Awesome. Joe, I'm going to kill you. Stop it. Nottie, naughty, like, naughty, naughty, naughty. Naughty.

So, Maddie's like, oh, my God. They all fucked him. Grace Lily, too. Like, everybody fucks. And so they're like, oh my God, just stand on it lake. And Brad's like, okay, I'm going to ask you one more time, have you slept together? And everybody gets really quiet. And she goes, um, in 2025, no.

And they all crack up. So then we cut to her in confessional. She's calling her mom. She's like, hey, mom. She goes, oh, how's it going? Well, I had to talk about O'Sheen. Like, I just admitted to it. And she's like, oh, God, babe.

I'm sorry. Oh, bleh. Jerry's constant disappointment in her daughter over the phone is like so wonderful. I think she is hilarious and great. It's like mom of the year. So, okay, but like, I didn't have a three-sum this year and all the other shit is irrelevant, okay? Um, okay. So Molly's like, okay, so the consensus at the table, I think we just really need to clean slate it and, like, move forward.

And we need to focus on us. Like, yeah, okay, I'm going to clean slate it. And like I'm willing to move forward and I'm sorry for being a bitch sometimes. So then she and Molly and Mia just like high five. And they're like, and our storyline is over. So now they're going to go do shots. And now it's activities for the day. Everyone loads up into the sprinter van.

And Lake is like and Bradder in the back. And she's like, are we really in the back? What the fuck? And he's like, oh my God, that's fucked up. This is our laugh. So then Molly's like for me, Molly stuck sitting right next to Emmy. She's like, for me and Emmy, like from the very beginning, there's been tension. It's been so awkward.

And then we see clips from last year because I totally forgot that last year. Emmy was being a total bitch to Molly at all moments, you know? And she even calls her an insecure bitch at one point. She's like, she's an insecure bitch. So, Emmy, like Molly does not like her. And now she's stuck sitting next around this long ass ride. Yeah. So now they go to the skate.

park. And it goes, minimum high at four feet. Sorry, T.J. You can't ride this.

He's like, oh, that's not funny. I'm not going to guess I'm not going to say on that. Sorry,

it's not really. Please, that wasn't. That wasn't. So, Maddie's like, wait, what was the minimum

Joe? 60 pounds? Okay, we're good. We're good. So Bella gets on her helmet, she has an egg

had. And it's not just like having, fun times. Ziplines. They're going to go zip lining. Oh my God.

It's up my Gucci. Oh my God. And zip lining. And there's a lot of commentary about things going up people's assholes or, you know, talks about getting a veggie, which is a vaginal veggie. Just a lot of crotch issues during this process. Yeah. So now Joe and Brad are hanging out in a hammock.

And they're talking about the zip line and all that stuff. And Joe's like, see, like, don't you? Like, don't you wish Julie was here to watch you have wacky times? And he's like, no, because she would make fun of me. She'd roast me. I wish she was here, though. She's got nursing school. So she's got to do that.

You know? And Joe's like, yeah, wow, that's good, though. Like, she's driven and goes, yeah. You know, it's good. She does something for herself. Like, I can't imagine being with a partner that doesn't want to do anything. He's like, oh, whoa. Okay.

Wow. Ow. Ouch. Actually, when I said that she's driven, I thought, because she's going to school, she's on school bus, right? So she's being driven somewhere? that's like pretty cool. I wish I still had school buses.

Like, no, Joe, that's not what you meant. He's like, yeah, well, um, she's going to be a good mom. And like, you know, like, she's going to be great. Because she's like, like, she has that nurse mentality, right? Like Julia's like basically like nurse and spirit all the time. Yeah, she'll be great. Yeah, she's nurturing. She was like, kind of me is like, do you think she'd ever feed soup to my bumpet?

That'd be nice. Yeah, like, I'm going to be a good dad too because like we're going to have kids. And like one day, I'm going to be like an awesome dad talker. Wouldn't be like on TikTok? It's a dad. He said he wasn't driven. He said he had no ambition. Come on, everyone.

That's the whole business. If anybody watches Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Dad Talk. It's a thing. We work very hard at it. Okay. That's true. It's true.

So Joe's like, yeah, I definitely want to marry Maddie. It's just like, what do I do first? Like, do I buy a ring? Do we get investors

so I can start my company? Do we get a Kit Kat? like they are really good. like I need a break. I need to kick up first. You need to have a reason that she would want to marry you first and then go for the rest. So T.J. comes up and he's like, um, you know, I just really want you to have your own thing. And like, I know you do too, Joe.

So you can do it, Joe. And Brad's like, yeah, you know, you've seen me do my thing. T.J. does his thing. Like, it's time for you to do your thing. And he's like, yeah, it's called dad talk. Did I already say that idea? Because it's going to be really good. Does anybody have a kid I could borrow?

because I could just start that right now. I was kind of thinking of doing something called bumpet theater where I could like sit behind like a bar and then I put two bumpets on my hands and they could talk to each other like a puppet show. That'd be fun, right? So then Brad's like, yeah, you know, I thought Joe would at least start a bar by now or something. I mean, he's got charm. He's got Riz. I mean, maybe not so much to smarts, but I don't know, being Maddie's sidekick dancer or whatever the fuck he is is not as good as doing something. something for himself. And he's like, guys, like, I appreciate you caring. Like, I'm going to do

something all by myself. I can't wait. Hey, you know what? I thought of, I thought of a candy. What if it's like a stick, but the inside of it's hollow, but it's like chewy. And then you could chew off both ends of it and like drink a soda through it if you want to. And it tastes like the candy. That's licorice, Joe. Oh. All right. Well, you know what? I've got, I've got like another decade. I'll come. Yeah, I'm going to, wait, what about, Oh, I know. Like, you know what I love. I love chocolate, but I hate it like melts on your hands. So I was like, what if you put like a sugar coating around it? And then like I'll dedicate it to Maddie. And I'll call it like an M and I don't know, like maybe it'll be for a Maddie and I mean because I want them to be friends.

So we call it an Eminemas, something like that. Joe. Eminem's exists. Oh. Okay. But do they talk? Yes. They already talk, Joe. They already talk. Okay. Well, what if we saw about the chocolate and just put in peanut butter and just dedicate it purely to Nile Reese. We can call it a... Joe, it already exists. It already exists. I know my last name. It exists. All right. You know, maybe not candy. Maybe candy's not my thing. I'll keep on it. Guys, it's going to come to me. It's going to come to me. So they go back to their villas and get ready for the night. And then they're back on a sprinter. And Michael's is really excited for them to see this place. So they're trying to guess what it is. And someone's like, medieval times. I'm laughing at the way you said that. So Michael's like, it's an experience.

And Justin, he's like, yeah, do we have to make alterations to our outfit when we eat? I'm like, no, guys, just wait. It's going to be hilarious. Are we going to smell like the place when we leave? No. That's how Sir Writers is. No. No.

It's going to be gone. So they show up and it's this like theme park ride kind of thing where you sit at a table and they strap you in. and they lift you over the world. And you're like hundreds of feet up in the year. I don't know that I did that. They did this on Atlanta when they went to Greece and they like had to eat dangling in the sky, looking at like the Acropolis. And they did it on like maybe one other show.

They, I think maybe, or at least they did it on The Amazing Race or something. I don't, I hate this. And not because of being strapped into a chair or dangling. It's because you know the food is going to be garbage. Like it's not.

Yeah. It's not even like a real kitchen. Where do you be? And where do you be? Do you have to lower the old table? Where does the waiter go? Like, where's the waiter? Well, the waiters like in the middle.

Like there's like, I don't want that. There's just no way that food is going to be good. Because it's already bad enough when you have a proper restaurant that's up high. Because you know that any restaurant that's on the top of a building is going to be garbage, right? Like, especially if it rotates. Like, good luck. Good luck with your food there. Oh, really?

A rotating restaurant is never going to be good food. Because you're, it's the. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Rotating restaurants are bad because people are there for the view. And so they're just, they're going to put all their, they can just upcharge prices. And they're not, the food is just not going to be good. Maybe the rainbow room was good back in the day.

I don't know. I don't remember. I went there once as a kid. Went there with my family on Christmas and my mom put me in a little red vest, which was funny. Because Christmas was my grandma's birthday. And Andrea Mitchell got cut on the mic and read the night before Christmas. and I was so starstruck. But that's my only time with the rainbow room.

I don't remember the food was good there. All it was the night before Christmas and all through the house. God, that sounds like hell, actually. Andrew Mitchell reading. I was like, she's so elegant. I don't know why I didn't realize I was again in that moment when I was fanning out over Andrea Mitchell reading the night before Christmas at the Rainbow Room. Yeah.

that's that is definitely a gay child um so um my goals is like okay well being the one who's afraid of heights like i plan the most ridiculous thing eating dinner strapped into a chair 150 feet in the air but if i die in the DR oh god well oh well just bury me here so by the way this is when you confront emmy about her microaggressions because she literally is strapped into her chair and can't go anywhere this is like the moment you gang up on someone and I was shocked that they didn't do it. So now the hostess comes over and she's like, okay, everybody, I'm going to

help you get seated. And Brad's like, um, Emmy is on the bottom of the list of people I'd want to see right before I die. And then right below that is probably your fiancee. So everybody's like, please don't let me sit next to Emmy. Please. And they, yeah, they all get

strapped in and they get hauled up into the air. And Maddie's like, God, give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change. Like Joe. And Michael's like, oh, I've never been stripped down before. I have. Really? Yeah.

So their host, this chocolate is like, are you guys ready for this? Here we go. And they're all like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. So then it's fine. They just go up and they're all freaking out and all that. So then they get up there. Molly's like, T.J, you have to be honest. you miss me behind the bar?

And he's like, Mm. Well, I miss our friendship behind the bar. And they're like, damn. So, I miss you in those, like, leather pants. I mean, those are great. She goes, honestly, I feel like so insane around you, Emmy,

because, like, we have such a weird vibe. She's like, um, yeah, I, um, I, um, I, um, I, um, I, um, I, um, I, honestly, like, I have no idea why. What? Like, oh, we do. why? Like, why? Molly's like,

Emmy confused about causing someone else to feel uncomfortable, shocking. I'm strapped in a chair and there's nowhere to go. Emmy's being just like fake as fuck right now. I mean, he's like never liked Molly ever since back in the day. Ever since back in the day. Oh my God. Remember all those days ago to last year back in the day, back of the day of 2024. for yeah never she's never liked her ever ever ever and when will and mollie used to work together

behind the bar will used to flirt with her all the time and i don't think emmy ever liked that like oh yeah so that's that's the origin story there i forgot yeah and molly's like but i try to connect with you it's just um you know what i i don't think i've ever seen that i mean probably maybe whatever my head maybe we're like trying to connect with me and i just whatever my head i don't know I don't know. And everybody's kind of laughing. And Michael's is eavesdropping. And Molly's like, I mean, there were multiple times I reached out to Michael's.

And I was like, hey, why don't the three of us hang out? And she goes, yeah, yeah, never relayed to me. So, yeah. I mean, Molly, I would have said yes. I would have been like, Molly was hanging out? Fuck, yeah. Molly. Oh.

Michael's is like, um, well, we got how many meters above the world. And now she's like delusional all of a sudden. And we see text message. messages from Molly to Michaels that are like, oh, you and Emmy should go get dinner or sometime on Monday. Like, let's get, let's get dinner together with Emmy. And then Michaels is like, y'all, she's not going to do that. She's not doing it. Sorry, I tried.

So I mean, it's like, I mean, I think you got the wrong vibe off of me or something because I don't know. I mean, I thought, and she tells us, I thought she didn't like me. I mean, I didn't not like her. I mean, what? Molly's like, ah, girl, be for real. And then he tells us, I'd like to build some kind of friendship.

I mean, friendship with Molly, like some kind of respectable acquaintance. That'd be nice. Yeah, no, no, I know Emmy's desperate for friends because hell has fucking frozen over and we've, like, landed on fucking Uranus, and she's on Molly's.

Oh my God. Okay, you know, like, I hope we can keep, like, you know, like moving, like towards, like, forward or, like, ahead. or like not back, but like, you know, friendship. Like, I don't know. We can just move places. You, you and you, you just move.

You know, it would be so great. Hey, guys, just, I don't want to interrupt this, but like, what about we make like a little burger, but it's made of chocolate on the inside of mint? And then, like, it could be named after, like, my favorite Snoopy character called Peppermint Patty. Joe, let them talk. Sorry.

Commercials, here comes one right now. And now they go to a club called Coco Bongo. And then he's like, oh, my God, the vibe of this club? Like, I feel like Joe Bradley on like a Friday night in Charleston. No, not aimless. Just like I'm having fun, you know? Wasn't that a song from the 90s? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Coco Bongo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Coco Bongo. Oh, there you go. It made it. That song did so well. So, Michael's is flirting with T.J. in this club,

and he's like, hey, next time you kiss me, like, you don't hate me. And he goes, but I don't hate you. He goes,

yeah, you do. And T.J. just kind of stares off into the distance. And he's like, what? What?

What? What? He's like, you're not speaking. I'm just like, I feel like this whole summer you're just like playing it cool and not speaking. That's TJ, unfortunately.

I don't know if you've noticed. TJ's favorite thing is the person's lips together and be quiet and look both ways. And squint. And squint. He's, Michael's like, yeah, like, let me put it in perspective for you. I'd be lying if I said, I never thought about you when I was in a relationship. He's like, well, what do you want me to say? I just really want to be home vacuuming right now.

So I'm sorry if I look unhappy. Don't say anything. Just be honest. He's like, well, this summer, you know, like our friendship has been friends with benefits with no strings and now I'm starting to feel like there's actual feelings and I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, I actually like I actually kind of feel weirdly bad for TJ because I think that he's been kind of in the situation a lot, not in this situation, in a situation a lot where basically

he is like, liked someone and then they like sort of like play around with him and then they move on or I think he felt that way with maybe Joe on a certain level. And so I think that he's probably just like so guarded about these things and like someone drunk like a super hot guy is now going to be drunkenly like, oh, by the way, I actually really like you, but I'm only going to tell you that when I'm like really drunk. And I think TJ is kind of like I don't want to get hurt again. So I feel like that's what I'm reading on his face. And so I kind of feel bad for the guy.

Yeah. So it's like the, I'll fuck you, but I ain't going to date you kind of a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Which is funny because Michael's was experiencing that. He talked about how he experiences that in a totally different way. We're not a different way, but like he has his own version of that where he gets that as like a person of color where like white guys come and they just want to like sort of partake in ooh like hooking up with a guy who's like not white and then they just like leave him. So it's interesting.

I feel like it's interesting seeing their kind of what they go through colliding here a little bit. So now it's the next morning and everybody's getting ready for the day. And so Maddie wake up. They're going to go get a massage. And Michael's is with Mia. And she's like, oh, my God, last night was so fun, Michael's. The Sky Dinner? No, no.

The Sky Dinner. I mean, what? No one thought that was fun. No. What were you testing us? Like testing our loyalty? What was that? Cocoa Mamba was the fun part.

Coco Bongo, by the way, the song is called Coco Jumbo. So it wasn't crazy. There was a song called Coco Jumbo. Yeah, there you go. Nailed it. Yeah. Yeah. Great song.

Great song. So now Bradley comes in and he's like about to cry. He's like, guys, Julina just broke up. Oh my God. I'm not even kidding, you guys. Just kidding, guys. Julia's here.

Julia! I didn't know everybody. love Julia this much, but they went crazy for Julia. They were so happy for Julia. So happy for Julia. They loved it. So now massage time with Maddie and Joe. So they go get a massage and then Joe gets in the hot tub in the room.

And he's like, yeah, it's like relaxing. You should do this like before all your DJ shows. I could come up with like new candies that have never been thought up before. Like, you know, we would wait for our kids to do something funny. I could put it on TikTok. what about like or you know we could do is like we could make like a candy bar that's like sort of captures that feeling of like before a show when you're so like nervous and so you're just like laughing around like snickering and like just like what you call snickers you know so I'm like no try harder Joe come on so obviously I've been feeling nervous about like going back on tour and like even playing like my set and like I'm just like making it up like you know like I'm just making it up for like when I had to cancel it you know and then my dream international tour starts on Puta Kana which is now and then I'm, then it's a Biza, Micanos, all over Europe.

So I do this one night and then more will come. So, you know, it's like pressure. And, you know, I feel pressure every time I DJ. I just want to be able to like secure my future. You know, Joe? It's like, yeah, like, I want to secure my career in future. Like, not only for myself, but like, you know, for our family that we're going to have. Yeah, I know, like a family.

Like one day is like important. But like, we're also like really young. And like, you're still figuring out your quote unquote career. You have a career, right? Do you have a career? Which is, yeah, I do. I do. I'm actually like a really popular dad talker.

So can we get the kid? Can we get the kid? Let's just move it along. Like you're holding me back. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like obviously like, no, I was like sick this past year and like, I don't know. It's like yeah.

I know you're like healthy. I'm like I don't want you to be like stress out or anything. You know? Like and she's like yeah. I mean like I've got alcoholism, celliac disease, irritable bowel syndrome, Gerd. Like I have like a lot of diseases. And like a lot of those like the side effect is like infertility by the way, Joe.

Hate to break it to you. And so she tells a story about how. how she's had celiac, she's been diagnosed since she was in fifth grade. And like a side effect is infertility. But on top of that, um, in her family,

there's fertility issues. Like her mom had like low egg counts, et cetera. And like at one point her mom is going to donate eggs to her sister. And then it turns out her mom didn't have any eggs left. And that was like a really devastating moment. And so she says, Maddie says that she has now gone and gotten blood work to find out what her egg count is.

And, but she's also scared. She doesn't really want to like, look at the results. He's like, but I'll want to know. She's like, no, no, because, you know, like, it's something I got to do with my mom, but like, I don't know, like, I'm probably going to freeze my eggs because, you know, having a family is something I do want.

That's awesome. So we're going to have, like, frozen babies. You know what? I don't think that people on TikTok really have that yet. So that's going to be like a new thing for me. You know, like, here it is. I'm taking my baby outside, so I better put it in a cooler, you know, it's going to be awesome.

but like I did see on like egg talk that like if you put your eggs in the freezer they explode Joe not those types of eggs wait what other types of eggs are there I'm confused so um he's like you don't have to be stressed I'm gonna be with you no matter what he's like and don't worry look we're gonna have a happy baby because I've got hellless swimmers yeah that's and that's all you need that's that's all you need is just a whole bunch of sperm and then they just make a baby Thanks. Joe, if that's all it took, half of your socks would be walking around right now. So now it's time to catch up with T.J. and Michaels.

So they're just sitting there and, um, are you over there playing with the Jets? Yeah. What's going on? Nothing? I just, I don't feel that hungover. Yeah, me too. Yeah. It was fun. Yeah.

Oh, it was so fun. But like, don't kiss me weird next time. Like, that was weird. Yeah, you were like kissing me in the club weird. Well, I mean, like, there's a lot, you know, you have a lot of feelings and I don't want to hurt you. But, you know, we've been making out and having fun, but I don't want it to, like, affect our friendship or anything. It's like, yeah, but like, it's not like that for me. Yeah, but you say that.

But then when you're drunk, like you say things like, I'm in love with you. No way. What? Like, no. Yeah. No, I did not say that. No. You said it.

No, I didn't say it. I didn't say it. I didn't say it. Like I didn't. So he's like, well, then my. Michael says in New York, we went to bars, and we had a cab makeout, a bar makeout, and then he was making out with someone else. I was making out with someone else.

And we didn't really talk about anything coming home, so I just figured it wasn't that big of a deal. And DJ's like, well, when we're drunk, he expresses his feelings to me and how he likes me and wants, he wants more than what's going on. So, yeah. So I think Michaels is probably just saying, like, I'm drunk, and that's why I'm expressing myself, but he doesn't want to express himself when he's sober because then he doesn't want to get rejected. You know, it's the old,

I was drunk. It's also like, this is actually kind of an amazing scene I think because, again, just how they're seen last year in the nail salon, I thought was pretty remarkable. We really rarely see two gay men talking on Bravo. And for a network that has such a huge

gay following, it's just we don't see these conversations very much. It's usually a gay sidekick or gay best friend or whatever. And this was like such a gay conversation. And I, I'd like, I loved it. because, you know, they're trying to figure out what they are, but they're also in two different stages of being out of the closet.

And that's like a big thing in the gay community, you know, like when you're, you know, young and new and you're just sort of like a kid in a candy store versus when you're like older. And I feel like we're seeing that here. We also sort of what I was talking about before is we see the, like, the impact that's been on both of them for being kind of like a plaything for others. And I just think you're seeing all of it here. and it's like a really kind of complicated dynamic that they have,

which I thought was great to see on TV. Like I loved this little scene in the pool. So he's like, well, I don't remember saying the I'm in love with you comment. He's like, well, you did. And then the next morning, he just kept saying, I don't remember anything. And then, you know, I think he felt embarrassed. So I didn't really want to, you know, push the envelope.

Which, you know, let's just pretend that was used to correct. I don't go into staples. That was correct. And then at the club, you were like, when I was with Preston, I thought about you all the time. And then we see him saying that in a flashback. And Michaels was like, oh, everything's so blurry and gray. Yeah, I don't really remember that. He's like, well, but how do you feel sober?

How do you feel now? He goes, well, there's a connection. So TJ is like, yeah, we're attracted to each other and we're each other's type. But, you know, you just came out. And if we dated, I feel like you'd realize that you want to, like, explore. and I feel like I'm robbing you from something if we're like pushing things further into more than just making out. And it's also kind of his way of like, you're in your, you're in your horror phase right now. So like make your way through that first and then you can come talk to me.

Yeah. And he's saying, you know, I complain that there's no guys in Charleston, but I don't want to date someone 10 years younger than me. I want to be with someone forever. And the next relationship, I want to be the relationship. and I don't think that that's the case for him. So that's sad. But also, yeah, 22 is really young. He's young.

Honestly, 22 is young. He's like, he's not like super fresh out of the closet, but he's like newly fresh to being famous and out of the closet. And he even said at the top of the season, he's like, yeah, I'm, I'm banging whoever I want to bang. So I think TJ is like, yeah, this is, TJ doesn't want to get hurt. I don't think.

And I think he's afraid that he will get hurt. But Michaels, I think, is also. looking for something more real and tangible, but at the same time, he also wants to have fun. So it's also just a point, too, because he's like, well, when things get too hot for you, like my age or maturity is an issue, but then when we're just alone, it's not the case. So, like, what the hell? Yeah. That's not fair to me.

Like, you can't just, like, like, say these things and then be like, selectively apply them to me for why it's an issue. I mean, in a way, it sounds like the perfect gay relationship, really. Like you guys like each other, you're kind of best friends, and then you go out and fuck other people sometimes kind of together in a way or at least play together. I mean, that's an option. You know, there's a lot of options in the community. You guys do have that option. But either way, it's also a lot of pressure to put on yourself to be like, my next relationship is the one. That's going to be the one.

So I don't know. I think both of them just don't want to get hurt by the other. I think so. They don't want to get hurt, they're also sort of in different spaces, but they're also attracted to each other. But then it's also like, oh, if this does go sour,

then we're on this TV show and we're stuck together. And it's going to just get really annoying. And I think that, like, TJ has, like, a lot of baggage that he carries. And so, and I think Michaels is looking to, I think Michaels is really looking for love earnestly. And they both are really lonely, I think. And they both want someone.

But they, They just have different things going on their lives. I don't know. We'll see how it goes. Okay. So then we go to Michael's going to Joe and Maddie's door and he's like, it's the police. Let me in.

You just see Maddie. You just see Emmy running by. Screaming. Thank you for coming. Finally. I've been calling you for 10 hours. This suspect is short, long, long hair, female. She's in here.

We just got back from the spa. That was like really funny, Michael. Like, you're, like, really funny. Have you ever thought about doing, like, a dad talk? We could do, like, some collabs. Hey, I wanted to invite you guys to come to the church with me. It's, like, church that my grandma went to. And, like, I really would love to share it with you.

So I'm going to invite Lake and TJ to, but not I mean, because she's a bitch. They don't allow bitches in church. So. And she was like, oh, my God, that would be an honor. Like, I thought, at first I thought you were going to laugh, like, and ask us to go to confession or something. But, like, this is way more wholesome. This is great.

Did you know somebody already came up with peppermint patties? I kind of wish it was just the three of us because I was thinking like wouldn't be funny for just like the three musketeers. We should do like a candy bar and call that Joe. It sounds delicious. Sounds delicious. So now the rest of the gang are talking about how Molly still has her wristband on from last night. Awkward.

And now Lake Michaels, Maddie, Joe, T.J. I'll get into a sprinter. And the rest of the crew is going to the beat. So Mia's like, yeah, like, I'm besting up in the champagne right fucking now. And then Julie and Brad pull up. And everyone's super excited to see Julia because that's just how it is with Julia. I was like, I'm going to get Julia. But Emmy doesn't react at all.

This cast is so big that like Julia gets a whole other second giant group of people screaming that she's the surprise again. They love it. They love Julia. It's like, okay. All right. what are you going to say? I'm pausing in mid-M-E-face for you to finish it. I was just going to make a comment.

I was a joke. Heather, going to go to another restaurant and there'll be 20 more people from this show who are like, oh my God, Julia's here. Anyway, back to Emmy. Glad to go out of my head. It's about to pop off.

It's about to pop off. I'm like tanning in the tanning fucking salon. Like, I do not care about her presence. Like, she had this like little moment of bitching me out. So like, last thing she said to me was, don't look at me. So guess what? I'm not going to look at you.

Okay. What? Where is she? Is somebody there? I don't even see her. What was everybody screaming at? Julie Roberts is here? Because that's the only Julia I know.

Like, I don't even care. I don't even care. So that like, Bella's like, oh, my God. So everyone knew. Who knew? And Julia was like, oh, my God. Brad told him that we broke up. And then I busted through the door.

And I was like, surprise. And Bella's like, oh, my God. Did you like play the shit off that? That's so good. Feels just great type of camera time, I have to say. And Justin goes, yeah, he did. He did such a good job. And that means like, yeah, I mean, she's good at lying.

call her for any one of your surprise parties because she can lie the fuck out of it. So now in the Sprinter van, they're like, thanks for inviting us to church, Michaels. She's like, yeah, I feel like when you get older, it's like you get really into your own spirituality and like your perception of like what a God or like a higher power is. Yeah, you really do.

Yeah, I totally do. I'm putting that on Dodd Talk. And now back at the beach, Bella's like, it's so weird with everyone else not here. I mean, it just doesn't it feel like when it's only 16 of us, it just feels almost empty here. So, like, I wonder how they're doing. And Emmy says, not being invited to the church. I mean, like, it seems like to purposely hurt me.

Like, out. Like, what if you're taking T.J. to a church? Like, I mean, you see each other's weenies once and now you're going to bring them to the church that your grandmother, like, went to? I mean, come on. God. Yeah. I love, I love Emmy getting so mad about the church. thing. So now they're on the other in the bus to the church.

Lake is asking Maddie when she's going to be DJing and everything. And then Joe's like, yeah, but Maddie, like, so I said O'Sheen doesn't get in until like right after your set tonight though. And Link's like, oh, I'm just kidding. It's just sorry, preview to dad talk. I mean, have a lot of content like that, a lot of pranks. Oh, so

we see a flashback to Joe on FaceTime with O'Sene and he's like, yeah, bro, people are just like now finding out about you and Lake hooking up like a year ago. He's like, oh, bro, I definitely took that fucking deep dive into the lake, brother. Yeah, damn it. And Michael, back to present. Michaels is like, oh, my God, you're not beating the allegations.

Lake's like, oh, God, I'm going to beat it. Like, I'm never going to claim it. Never, ever. Yeah, it's like, yeah, well, guess what? It didn't work so well with me and Luann. I'll tell you that much. And they're like, yeah, but like, New, Juan's like iconic, okay? Oh, she's not iconic.

Like Luan's like a mill of batty They just show a clip of Machine pouring milk on himself Like yeah not iconic Not iconic So and then Michael's mom calls And Michael's is telling her that he's On the way to the Basilica

And he's like can I FaceTime you when I get there? And she's like no Because of course this mom is like this And so and everyone like he's on the phone Trying to talk to her and then meanwhile On the background everyone's like Oh my God I love dipping in that leg Oh yeah, I drove in that leg. It was very complimentary. Oh my God. Like did you guys have sex? Like we didn't have sex. Do you go down on him? No, did you blow him? Do you put his penis into his mouth? Michael's is like, guys, stop. I'm on the phone my mom. She just hangs out. He's like, oh my God, you guys, I was on the phone with my mom and you were talking about eating ass. Like if my mom hurt you guys talk about eating ass in the background, I'm gonna want to die. He'll start cracking up.

So they're driving into the city and then they arrive at the church and I was sort of amused because the way Michael's talked about it, I was imagining this like cute little church in the countryside surrounded by trees up a path. It's like the church in, I imagine like in like the White Lotus in the second season when they like go to like this house off in Sicily or it's like I just imagine this remote place with like, you know, 10. Italian. Get the fuck off of our land to come out with guns. So I was just imagining. I had this idea, this romanticized, tiny little special church. And it was like this enormous, like, landmark church that, like, probably a lot of people in the city go to.

And it doesn't take away from the fact that this is where his grandma went to. But I was like, oh, like, this is like a landmark. It's like, for some reason, it's like. They actually have tour guides at this church. Yeah, it's like it's a big church. It's like a big church. It's like, I'm going to take you to this little hidden. I don't know.

It doesn't take away anything from the story. It just like, I just was laughing at how I had created an entire narrative in my head. And it's just like this big, super public space. I don't know why. It was amusing to me. It was a gorgeous church. My God. Oh, my God.

Some of the architecture of churches is crazy. They're really, I mean, this was beautiful. Yeah, this was a beautiful church. So they go in and they check it out. And he talks about growing up in the church and how, you know, You know, you're taught that being gay is a sin and all that. And so he feels like he's not necessarily welcomed, which, you know, is true, which is why I ain't going there. And also, you know, another reason is because they're always asking for goddamn money.

I mean, my God, you can't walk into the place without them fucking asking you for money. Jeez, you didn't even give me a full glass of wine. You gave me a sip, okay? And don't add the service on here either, fucks. T.J. is also talking about how church has not really been a big part of his life, because he doesn't agree with what, you know, what the church, what the Bible says about being gay. But he's there to support Michaels and everything. And they're looking at like flowers and vases.

And they're looking at like all, they're just walking around the church, like learning stuff from the tour guide and stuff. And but Michael's is like really reconnecting to everything. And Maddie's also connecting because she's talking about how in the 12 steps, like the first Three steps are about surrendering yourself to the greater power. So we're all having like a very emotional moment connecting. And Michaels is like crying on a pew. And he's saying how he like abandoned his religion because of everything, the gayness and all that.

And but like now like he's like he's now feeling sorry for not coming to church anymore because he now kind of wants to come back to church. Hmm. Well, have fun with that. So it's on my scene. a very pretty church. So he sits there and kind of cries and thinks about his family and stuff. And also it's, you know, it has so much to do with his past, you know, and just thinking about it. Of course. So, um, he is, yeah, that's the way, he wants to come back to church. It's more like

he just feels more at peace. He feels like he has like come to peace with his relationship with church. And yeah, it's just sort of like an emotional, it's an emotional ending as he reconnects with his faith. and everything. It was a very nice little ending. It was a nice scene in a church right after a scene about eating ass. Yes. On a bus. Perfectly placed. Very bravo. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being with us.

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