Watch What Crappens - #3375 In the City S1E1: Time for the Fall

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

Bravo has spun off Summer House into a new show called In the City, which is the East Coast answer to The Valley. Get ready for a lot of dead end relationships and people making babies with losers they should never have even dated. We’re ready! To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. For livestream tickets to our NYC Cabaret on June 3 and June 5, get tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to watch what's what happens. I'm Ronnie. That's Benuni over there. Hello, Ben. Hello, hello. How are you? Good. Everybody, welcome to the show. Today is the first recap ever of In the City. I wish I would have just called it the City. I know they can't because there was another show called The City, but the Valley, the City. Keep it consistent, guys, okay, for my sake. But in any case, in the city, in the city. started and we will be talking about it. We're doing our cabaret, Forbidden Housewives. It's all the characters we love on Bravo. In New York City, June 3rd and 5th, those shows are sold out. There's three shows on those nights. They're sold out, but you guys should live stream it. There are live stream tickets available for that. You can buy tickets up until showtime and you can stream them for a week afterwards. There will be a big chat room in there where you guys can talk to each other, make fun of us, do whatever you want. That's going to be really fun. So go

tickets at watch whatcrapins.com or our link in bio on Instagram. And if you want this recap on video or bonus episodes or add free listening or you want our weekly newsletter, which is free, you can sign up for that for free over at patreon.com slash watch what crappans. And today in the city, season one episode one titled the city. Whoa. It's finally here. We're in city after years and years of us requesting more time in the city with the summer house people. We have received it sort of because it's not happening during summer house as with the whole different group of people. But you know, it's kind of kind of kind of what we want. And I'm I loved it. I'm going to say this right now. I loved it. I thought it was a great premiere. I was on board.

I like the dynamics. I like the way it looked. I like the vibe. I like the buttons. I like the zipper. I like the pocket. I like the buttons. I like the pleading. Yeah. I liked it too. I mean, I think I'm going to like it. You know, I think. Good. It's, you know, for me, it's just a lot of Kyle and Amanda bullshit right after Summerhouse, which, I mean, I can only imagine how they feel because, geez, it's a lot of terrible couple. And it is worrying me a little bit just to start that it's so the valley because this is like, okay, we're growing up now. So now we move and we all force each other to have babies, you know. And we see how that's working out on the valley. And I just watched the screener for this week's The Valley.

And let me just say, not great. It's not working out great for anybody. So I'm hoping that this show doesn't fall into just a pit of misery like that show has. But I enjoyed it. I thought it was a great first episode. I thought it was great. And I also love that, yes, it is basically the Valley for Summer House, but these people all feel like they are doing things with their lives.

And I appreciate that. So I, I, that they're all, you know, they're all like, they have careers. I mean, not to say that Luke wanting to go to. Ambitions. Isn't a career, but they have ambitions. They have, they have fashion. They're all dressed really well. They're all like going to nice.

places that we would want to go to and not places with floor tiles on the wall. You know, I mean, it's definitely a step up for sure. Yeah. I mean, for sure, we're going to hate probably many of them the way we hate people on the valley, but it just, it just feels like they live in a different world, whereas you go to the valley and it's like, oh, Jesse Lolley, former model who now does real estate and Danny Zucco, who appeared on the O.C. And now does voices for zombie video games and it's a terrible person.

And here's someone else who tried an entertainment and now is kind of doing this thing instead. Janet. Yeah, like a personal assistant for Sina who has a ball pit in her house. Yeah. Jason is a lawyer, though. We give him credit there. And it's not to say that there's any more merit for having some sort of professionalism versus non. Everyone's a lot to have non-traditional careers like we do.

But it's just very funny watching it on in the city. It's not a career shamey. it's glamour. It's like lack of glamor shaming. You know what I mean? Because this one is something you want to watch. This is like, oh, wow, these are people who are doing well. Like, you want to dress like them and go to the places they're going to. None of that is happening on the valley. It just sort of seems at first blush.

Like, these are people that may just have a little bit more substance to them. I don't know, like people in the valley. Like, I'm sorry. Michelle Lally, perhaps, would be a good example. Michelle Lally, sorry to be threatening with these comparisons. Anyway, the point is not threatening. The point is talk about in the city. I thought it was really good.

And I really liked what was going on here. Yeah, so we've just left Summer House. So Amanda and Kyle are driving home and it's like really sad. And they're looking at street signs and talking about how much a relationship sucks. And we suddenly, I think I've heard. Suddenly out of nowhere, the font has changed on our. television. We have transitioned into a new show. We have a serif font. Ladies and gentlemen, in the summer, we have son-serif. But in the fall, the seraph arrives. We're in the

sophisticated world of a seraph haunted show. Trixie Monocles here, which is nice. I love when she makes a... Trixie Monocle has appeared back on Bravo. I think she's out of rehab and writing music again for the shows, because there was one show this week that had a song that goes something like this. oh it should be illegal to be this blessed it should be illegal to be this blessed and i was like yes my girl is back in action it should be illegal to be this blessed yes trixie this one is take a breath and close my eyes all the lows and all the highs wow yeah exciting it is i love trixie i love hearing her back on TV. She did a lot of personal inventory

in her rehab and she's come out. Her music's little, you know, doesn't have the same edge. It's like with Alanis. She was best when she was angry at someone. But we still appreciate her for the, for what she represents. So, Trixie, welcome back.

Yeah, I mean, I do miss Trixie's girl era where every song was about being a girl. Like, I like being a girl, I'm a girl on the street, a girl on a crosswalk. I'm a girl who sees cars in the stream says stop, because I'm a girl. Or being a boss.

I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a girl who's a boss. Walking down the sidewalk, all I see are people at loss, because here comes a boss. And it's me. B-O-S-S. I'm a boss. I'm a boss, boss, boss. I'm a girl who's a boss. Love her. It's just really talented. So now we're in New York City. We see the Statue of Liberty. who's like, does my armpit smell? Anybody?

Anybody? Very working girl coded. Very working girl coded. And honestly, that's the sort of coding that works for me. Okay? More like working for Ben, girl. Because I was like, just please, please play, let the river run. That's all I need right now.

And then the show, I'm hooked for the next 10 years. Just get that Carly Simon going. So our audience who is too young to know what the hell I'm talking about, which is a shame. there's the river run there you go there it is for you kids so amanda is riding solo into midtown and she's like i can't imagine my life without kyle but no matter how badly i want to fix this relationship i'm not sure i can't something has to change i need time by myself i'm going to a hotel Now she'll be able to imagine life without Kyle, which is life without hearing coming out of AirPods. Hey man, do you want to hear this cross fade?

No, Kyle. Now Kyle's driving solo and he's fidgeting around and she pulls up to a hotel and he pulls up to his apartment alone. It's like they're going separate ways. And of course, it was just like a really sad moment on Summer House. they had to segue out of that. So now that they've, like, arrived at where they're sleeping tonight, then all of a sudden the music is going from like a mournful divorce music to

New York. New York, New York, New York, New York, gossip grove is here once, because New York, New York, it's fun. And it's January, 2026, four months later, Summerhouses Kyle and Amanda had broken up. And we see headlines popping up on screen. about the breakup, and then we see a clip of Watch What Happens Live with Amanda and Sierra being the guests.

And Andy's asking, who do you think is going to start dating first between you and Kyle? And she's like, me. And Sierra's like, yes. And then now it's March 26th. And Kyle is on there. And Andy's like, Kyle, what's your reaction to the Amanda West rumors? And Kyle's like, I don't think there's any merit to it. And now we go to another episode where Wes was famously a guest and he's like,

What's your reaction to the rumors about you and Amanda? I mean, that's like, that's like a friend. And like, it's like, I'm a friend. I'm a boy. I'm a little boy. Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um. Then we see on screen headline after headline about rumors being confirmed that West is in fact sticking his gummy bear into Amanda.

And so we see sirens in the city noise. and all this stuff. And now it's April 9th, 2026. And we've shot a new scene for this so we can get the aftermath of what happened. You know, they're trying to do like a Scandival type thing. Or it's like, oh, show it and then rewind, rewind. And we see Kyle in his apartment. And we know he's upset because he is vigorously scrubbing the cutting board.

Very depression scrubbed coded. He had just sliced a can of Loverboy open, so he's really out of his mind. I got one of those cool Japanese knives So I don't want to mix the lover board Cutting board up with the steak cutting board And give food poisoning Monk fruit poisoning So Amanda not enters

With the dog rider Oh wow still got that key of yours huh Yeah Okay here's a You're eating you look skinny I'm worried about you I'm worried about me too So Amanda

the Kairon creative director of her own misery, perhaps, and they sit on the sofa. I'm like, what is she the creator director of? I don't know. I've never heard that. I guess I've heard it in the bikini. Lover boy terms. I guess she's the lover boy, I guess, right? She's a creative director of lover boy.

Didn't they only come up with that logo? Well, I guess you do other things. And didn't they steal that logo? Anyway, the point is, she's a creative director. Deep thoughts on watch her crappins. I know. Wait a minute. What do you do?

I guess they do a lot of stuff like Instagram posts and stuff like that. Like our new flavor is coming out. The new flavor is called Amanda. Okay, well, that's not an actual flavor name. Okay. So I was like, well, I joined a new gym and I pulled my back doing deadlift,

so I want to be there for you through all this, but I also want to clear a few things up, which is that if you thought my back was in good shape, it's not. Aren't you glad I opened up with this anecdote about the gym? No, Kyle, I don't care about your deadlifts. Well, you should because I'm a man. Whatever woman wants to hear when you've left them and they want you to be doing better.

And you're like, well, started working out more. So that's good. Wow. It's actually a free gym. All I had to do is pierce my ear and get a corvette. So I'm really excited. So I'm like, well, and he says, well, you know, over the summer it looks like you were just done with me, which it did. It did look like that over the summer.

the summer because we just watched that show. And Amanda's like, whoa, that's so frustrating me because I like gave our relationship everything I had. Did either of you? I can't with this conference. I'm sorry. I'm already bitter starting off this because we just finished 17 or 18 episodes of Summer House. So I've heard it. Okay. I'm sick of both of you. So she's like, you know, the thought of you not existing in my life was so impossible for me to wrap my head around. And it was so hard to call it quits, but then, you know, it got so messy and I was afraid that when we did just end it, we'd be out of each other's lives forever and like, I couldn't handle that, Kyle. I couldn't handle that. I haven't been, I haven't had to pay rent three years, which we find out

later. Well, I wouldn't leave either. That's an expensive apartment. Shit, if I didn't have to pay three, if I didn't have to pay a mortgage for three years, I would stay in a relationship with a DJ who stayed out all night. Fuck yeah. By the way, jumping ahead, I do think it's a little fucked out. that Kyle,

a charger background. You guys were like married. It's like a joint expense. I'm sorry, I don't think that's fair. Anyway, Kyle's like, there are points during summer and fall

where you just, you weren't just like one foot out the door. It looked like you were fully out the door. Yeah, Kyle. It was also, it's been a few years when she, what clue do you add, clue do you into the fact that she was out the door?

Was it when she said, I want to live at a hotel? Yeah. I kind of got the sense you were over. me a little bit. Yeah, but he's basically saying like this whole summer we shot summer house. I didn't realize you were already broken up with me in your head, which apparently you were. Because now, you know, of course, the rumors are that she was banging West that whole time. And so she's now raising her voice, crying. And she's like, I know, I was to an extent, I was done. I was tired.

I had nothing left in me to fight, but I still gave it everything I had. He's like, well, can you say that like through Thanksgiving? was, you know, like, was there an emotional affair with West? Nothing happening. I heard things. I heard things. I heard things. Stop doing your good fellas on me, okay? I was so committed to you the whole fucking time.

And for you to even question my faithfulness in any capacity fucking hurts. Well, Amanda, of course he's going to question. You know, you're in a scandal right now. Of course she's going to question your faithfulness. You were lying about who you were hooking up with for a long, like you were lying to everybody for a long time. So it's not crazy to think that you were lying. And since you're the one to shame somebody else about this later, you are still technically married to Kyle. And I would not even hold that against you, but you're holding it against Danielle in about five minutes. So you're a

hypocrite. Wow. And a liar. So it's not crazy. And also her reaction to this, I know that her reaction is partly frustration because she's kind of like the number one villain in the world right now, or in this world right now but um your reaction's not helping like i would never why would you think that you're acting guilty guilty well i had a one-night stand because she says by the way i wouldn't step out or she when i've been cheating on i've been cheated on by you he's like well i was a one-night stand he's like kyle you me i was someone when we're married and he goes says who she goes there's a video he goes okay okay checkmate i think That was the best part of the whole thing to me.

I don't know why that made me laugh. There was a video. Okay. Okay. Oh, yeah. Has he seen the video? Does he know there's video or does he just know that she knows? She says there's a video.

Because we saw him seeing this video. I'm just want to say it. Not to say that I doubt that Kyle, Kyle's probably made out with hundreds of people. And you know, at his DJ gigs, you know, whatever. So, uh, anyway, she's like, but my point is I would never do that. And he's like, oh, okay. you're not a bad person, but you were reckless if I'm being honest. I'm going to say I if I'm being honest a lot.

But I'm still trying to be a good friend to you through all this because I worry about your mental health. Okay. That's not your responsibility, but I do appreciate that. So now he's crying. He's like, everything I do for you from here on out is because I care about you. Not because I'm trying to rekindle things. It's because I care. God knows I don't want to rekindle.

God know how much ass I'm getting out there on the road. Man, I just did a DJ gig in Lodi. Oh my God. I had a threesome. Talk about a load in the eye, right? Kyle, can you focus again? I was deadlifting ass. That's how I hurt my back, okay?

If I'm going to be honest. Did a show on Manhasset? More like this man has it. Matt has it. Yes. Went up to Scarsdale. Did a great DJ gig there. I was scarred from too much sex.

I don't know. I ran out of puns, okay? But I did it up gicking Scarsdale. Yeah, that's the point, right off of 84. Went bonkers and yonkers. Point Jervis? More like point jizz us. Great dance there.

West, bluge on your chester. That's where I was doing a gig this weekend. Had a great gig in West Orange, New Jersey. More like, West Orange, you jealous of my career? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. Um, why I'm gonna do the same fucking way, Kyle. We don't love each other because there was a version of us that did fall in love for a fucking reason.

Okay, you need to, you need to, you're, you're the one of the wrong, okay? You need to flip this, this attitude, okay? Because in the earlier episodes we've watched, we've always been on your side, because you've been in the right for those episodes. But you've just been caught fucking West for God knows how long. So you need to, like, stop the yelling for now. So you're not, you don't have the high ground at the moment. you're going to turn this city right around if you don't stop yelling.

We're going home. Kyle is like, Colin Taylor on my dick tunnel. That's where I'm going to be going after this. So again, Amanda says, you know, we did fall in love with an,

there was a version of us that we fell in love with for a reason. And he's like, and that's what makes me upset. Because someone else gets that version of you that I fell in love with. Now, they didn't spend any time on this line. I thought this was a very interesting line to Kyle. It's something you hear in breakups.

I usually hear it from my girlfriends who are like, I trained this man. Like, I'm the one. He's like complained that I was an ag. He complained that I was this, that I was bossing him around, whatever. But I turned him into like a decent person. Then he goes and cheats on me. And now this girlfriend has the well-trained version that I trained. You know, so at first it sounded kind of like that sentiment to me.

But I think what he means is a man to seen all over the place going out and parting with West. I mean, she's having the best time. She's going, she's going to bars, she's drunk. She's doing, she's kind of living the life like Kyle wants from her, because Kyle's only happy with Amanda when she's drunk and they're out. We see them parting. That's when they've been happy on Summer House. And he hates that he's still living that lifestyle and she's not. She's like, I just want to be home and watch Netflix, which I think is valid, by the way. But he doesn't want that lifestyle. And I think what he's saying here is, I see you living the lifestyle. I've wanted from you all this time, but you're doing it with somebody else. Like, why is it okay for you to go live

that lifestyle with West? But with me, you demand I'm home at a certain time watching Netflix. Right. Well, it's like even more sort of like directly, the girl that he fell in love with, like that personality, whatever, whatever she was presenting as then, that went away. And then now all of a sudden it comes back and he doesn't, and like, he's like, that's what I, this is the car that I bought. and now and my cars had like transmission issues all these years and now I saw it and now the car's working again and that's not fair because I really liked that car not to make this just reverse lemon to me yeah it's like the lemon unlemoned itself but it's a pretty profound thing sort of um so basically what I'm saying is that what I'm saying is that Amanda is a jalopy no I don't mean it

that way I mean it's just like I I understand what you say it is a total inverse of the example you said about your girlfriends and And what we've heard before of like, I made this, I moved this person. Now everyone gets a better version. He's like, no, no, no. I lost the good version. I want the good version back. Anyway, speaking of going back, we're going to rewind to September.

So now we're back in September 2025. And we're at Lindsay's apartment. You're Fini, financial district. And her big ass apartment and her baby mom is everything. Is that what you call it, Fidei? I didn't know she lived in the financial district. Who lives that financial district? Who lives that far downtown?

I'm surprised. CEOs and founders. Sorry, Daniel. So Gemma's a big star. Gemma has a lot of time on this episode. And she is actually very expressive. She definitely is pretty cute. Yeah.

She has a cute little baby. Oh, my gosh. Well, there are no ugly babies. You know, I feel that. That's not true. There are ugly babies. It's not true. There are some damn ugly babies.

There really are some ugly babies. but I do believe that you should never call a baby ugly, to its face. To its face. Behind its back all the time because it can't get mad at you. It can't be like, you've been saying this behind my back? Say it to my face. Like, sorry. If you could say more than Goo Goo Gaga, sure, you have a point.

Exactly. Yeah, when you're old enough to pay taxes, you're old enough to judge me for calling you ugly. I feel like the only people that you can say like, that baby's really ugly. I feel like the only people you should really ever say that, too, is like the parents of the baby. Because they're the ones who can do something about it. Yeah. There should be a podcast about talking shit about babies. Be like, oh my God, I met this baby today.

I'm in. So stupid. Coming this fall. Drew, it's Cheerio on the floor. Like, hello, that Cheerio is for you. Okay. Cat just after the break. Yeah.

Just rape babies. I'm in. Let's go recap babies. Yes, hell yes. You go look. Instead of look who's talking, look who's being stupid and just about babies. Look who's not talking yet. Yeah, look who's not talking yet.

Wow, way for your babies still not to be able to speak. That might not land well. You know what? Neither do babies. Okay, here we go. Why are the babies flying the planes? They will be soon the way this country is going. Non-union babies.

Your next pilot. Okay, so Lindsay is talking to the baby, and she's like, since becoming a mom, life has become in chaos, and there's no doubt that Jemma is my daughter. Like, the way I give a death stare, and Gemma gives the death stare. And we see that Jemma does give Lindsay the death stare. Baby's like, I am activated, well?

How many peas have you crushed for me lately? How many planes have you landed in the hangar? So Lindsay's saying, like, My friends were all entering a new chapter of adulthood, but I'm just wondering if I'm ever going to have sex again. It's been nine months, okay? I would have had sex right out, and I got the clear of my doctor,

but then I got dumped, okay? Because my vagina used to shoot rainbows and butterflies and sandwiches all the time. So I didn't know, has she ever said this clearly that she just got dumped? I didn't know that that guy dumped her. She hasn't. I don't think so. I should say in the media that I have seen, I have not seen her say it. Maybe she said in some interviews. Yeah, but we see flashbacks of her being sexy. And she says that she got broken up with and it's been a while. And she couldn't have gotten through this year without her support system. She's got her nanny, Liz, and all of her girlfriends. And then her nanny comes in. And she's so cute. I mean, this is how you get along with babies. This is a good nanny because she comes in and she's like, hello.

I know. Jamas! Jamo! Oh, my God! I love, I love Liz. I love Liz. She knows what she's doing. It was so cute.

This is how adults want to be greeted. You know, people, like, take this away from you when you become an adult. I remember the first time I went to a cousin's house. Their mom used to always be like, Ronnie, hi, and the first time I was old enough that I went over, and she was like, oh, hi, Ronnie. And I was, like, oh, hi, Ronnie. I was, like, really? I don't get any, like, whoa, Ronnie.

here it's just like wow it's Ronnie I never wanted to go to that fucking cousin's house again and you know I will never forget Sue oh wow wow Sue you're your last for losing enthusiasm looks like Ronnie uh you want the version of sue you fell in love with yeah what happened to that sue I'm willing to become seven of suddenly you're just Ronnie again says Sin. Um, okay. So Lindsay's talking about how like she's relying on her support system, which includes Liz, who we love, icon Liz. And also her friends.

And speaking of friends, we see a flashback as an example of her friends. So Lindsay and she meets up with Yvonne at like a one of these like toddler places. And Yvonne is like, so is this brunch? I thought we were doing something fun. I mean, this is fun, but like actually like the way I'm going to trail off is supposed to imply it's a lot. actually not fun at all, and I'm lying. Well, Yvonne's been

my best friend for 13 years, and when my ex and I broke up, I went right to her house, and she was, like, milking my tits while drinking tequila. Oh my God. Yeah. She, like, totally forgot her breast pump and at home, and so they are, like, milking her boobs, and calling my husband

telling him, it's not a good time to come home whatsoever. So now the women are sitting on the floor in a circle, and we meet Georgina. Lindsay's other best friend and dermatologist. And so they're talking about Nick. Yvonne's like, Nick and I went out the other night, the line was flowing.

And Georgian was like, one of the best parts about being a mom is that you still get to parent, like, while hung over. It's amazing. I'm crazy, Georgina. I'm Georgina, but I also still have a lot of fun. My life is a disaster. My ex left me when I was 32 weeks pregnant. I'm alone with a toddler, a dog, a broken ankle. Don't even ask in the cold of New York City.

So I went a little crazy. I'm surprised I'm not on Snap. They didn't say how she went crazy, but I feel like that's going to be something special for us. A little gift for us on a later episode. By the way, when she went crazy, you mean?

Yeah, we don't know what she did when she went crazy. Oh, yeah, I need to know. And I need to know, like, how she broke her ankle, too. Like, does that have something to do with it? She kicked in a window at the Capitol.

She was an insurrectionist, wasn't she? I went so crazy. I started tap dancing on a subway grate. And next thing you know, broken ankle, toddler on my shoulder, another one in my arms, another one in my belly. At least I don't have pores. He can't see my pores. I mean, I wouldn't say it was crazy what I did. I mean, did I bum rush the stage at Les Mizz and kick Jean Valjean in the nuts?

And I said, you want to talk about Les Mies and wrong blood? How about being dropped on your third two weeks pregnant? But I mean, I thought that was fun for the audience personally. Anyway, they fell off the stage into a tube. And next thing, no, broken ankle. Yeah. So here's what we know so far. Lindsay was with a guy who dumped her, what, right after she had a baby, I guess. Yep. And then Georgina had a guy who left her at 32 weeks pregnant. We find out later that this Yvonne's husband is completely disinterested and checked out. It doesn't even know when she's out of town for a week. The men are not looking great on this show. I'm just going to say, it looks like we're going to be carrying over the Valley Trouble.

tradition of terrible men. If you're looking to this show for like any hope in love and long-term relationships, you're in the wrong place. I mean, the good news for Yvonne is that like the breakup is trending sooner and sooner. So maybe she'll break up with her man before there's even a baby situation. That would be nice. Also, I just want to say RIP, RIP to Lindsay and Yvonne because we all know, I don't reality show when someone says so-and-so has been my best friend for 13 years that is the beginning

of the end of the friendship and by season two they will hate each other so uh it's been lovely seeing you guys as great friends and we wish you the best it's over for feud yeah we see we see uh past evan in this episode daniel and also what happened to gabby i mean i'm assuming she's still friends with lindsay but why don't we ever see gabby anywhere i was thinking that why wasn't gabby at softbar Honestly, why wasn't Mia at soft bar? Maya, sorry. Why wasn't Maya at soft bar? Like, she's probably,

where was Jacqueline at home? Making my cookies that I never got still. Where was Jacqueline the Fit model? I'm never going to let that go. I know. But we did determine that they were stolen off of your porch, right? I think they probably were. Because she actually did show me a mailing label.

She's like, I swear to you, I'm trying to send you these cookies. And then we did have a lot of mail theft in my neighborhood where, like, I was getting cards that were from my me ma they were open they were like taking the money out of my birthday card because yes i still was getting money from my i was still getting ten dollars every year for my grandma for my mema so yeah i think someone ate them and stole them so that's really not her fault it's probably if they were ever sent you know what i think we both deserve to have a cookie today i think that's what what we've learned god i would love a fucking cookie you know i'm going to see about getting my waddle done this afternoon and i'm so nervous about it and the reason i have to

to get my waddle done other than the fact that I'm old. Look, here's my waddle. But why are you nervous? Because it's terrifying. They're going to cut, they're going to like cut my fate. You know, I'm just scary. And also, the reason I have a waddle is because I lost a lot of weight. I've lost almost 200 pounds over the past four years. So I've lost a lot of weight, which is great, but it's left me just like hanging. So now I have like hanging stuff everywhere. So anyway, I'm going to get my waddle done. And I'm so nervous that all I've been thinking about all days is cookies. And I'm like, but then you're going to gain the weight and then you won't

need the waddle done. But then that'll save me some money, but it'll also save me from getting my face cut off. It's a whole conundrum. Don't be nervous about getting your waddle done. I mean, Tamara gets her face done every six weeks. Okay. Like, this is just like nothing. I need to think about it like that because the housewives really do. I mean, Kyle comes back with two faces a year now. She's had two faces this year on Beverly Hills. And they all look great. Like, how do you take the pain? How do you take it? it'll be fine it'll be fine it'll be you'll have a few days of

of of of soreness I'm sure I'm looking at Gabby's Instagram now God she's gorgeous I love Gabby and I miss Gabby and I want her back her first one is her first picture is dressed as Colonel Sanders from Kentucky

fried chicken which is funny and then she's at a game of some kind she's watching tennis oh yeah she loves tennis and then the rest of them are her looking gorgeous she has one of her and Lindsay though from, let me see. Okay, so Lindsay's still friends with her, but that's from over a year ago. 62 weeks. So I don't know. I kind of feel like Gabby once she left, they were like, okay, well, nice knowing you, Gabby. But I think I saw her in the background of something actually like yesterday,

which is why I was thinking of her. So I know she still circulates around, but she was also, I don't know. I was a little surprised that we didn't see more Gabby. Hmm. Yeah, I want to know. Okay, I'm sorry. Back to this show, guys. Waddle and Gabby aside. Let's come back. So now we see, Lindsay says she wants to show Jemma a strong female role model. And that does not require relying on a man because clearly we can't. So now she's going to go to Brooklyn Fair or as it's spelled on its sign, Bookland B, Aposhavit, K-L-Y-N Fair, because their sign is probably too small.

But in a true Manhattan fashion, it's too far to go to Brooklyn. so they go to a place. The place is actually in Greenwich Village. It's like, this is exported from the faraway, imported from the faraway land of Bucolin. So she and Jemma and Amanda are shrolling through this grocery store and they're looking at all these different snacks. And Amanda's like, oh my God, does Gemma like these? My dogs love these snacks.

I'm sorry, Amanda says that. Amanda apparently has been feeding beats, blended. Oh, it's blended beef. I thought it was blended beats. I thought she was serving. No, she's sending, she's, she's giving that to her dogs, which is very fancy for a dog. Blended beef in a bag. And like, you suck the beef out.

And she's like, does Gemma like those? And she's like, um, blended beef in a bag? She's like, yeah. And she's like, no, no. Want to give their baby blended beef. Blended beef. It's like when a Brady Bunch family gets into a big fight, blended beef, think about it. And then you'll say, get it.

Gemma gives this side eye like don't give me that blended beef or she really does Jemma knows what was just said and she's like get this trick out of here and by the way Amanda feeds the dog the beef I'm like did you

I hope you pay for that okay oh it's a flashback never mind I'm a disaster with recounting this scene you would think I hadn't watched this but I actually have watched it sorry I don't believe you don't remember exactly what happened in this grocery store scene well I really thought was beats. I thought it was beats and I couldn't believe

that Amanda was feeding beats to her dog. I didn't know that was a thing that dog was like. And then I thought when she was, in my mind, when they showed her feeding the dog, it was happening in the grocery store, but that did not happen. It was a flashpack. Yeah. Well, you know. Can you put my brain's rotting? It's almost Friday,

kind of, not really. So Amanda's like, so I haven't seen you since we left summer house. Oh my God, that weekend was like so crazy. And Amanda tells her she stayed at a hotel for like two nights, um, which fixed nothing,

you know, so, uh, Gemma is also looking at Amanda with the side eye, like, God, loser. I know,

Gemma's got it all right. Well, all the great reads. She really does. She's like, glad I could skip time with the fun nanny to come hang out with sad sack Amanda over here. Hey,

Amanda, why don't you tell her who you've been fucking? Jack, this one. I was this close to being able to put the square thing in this square hole. I swear I had it almost figure it out. And now a mom says,

I gotta come to the stupid Brooklyn Fair grocery store to watch this bitch feed blended beef to her dog. Thanks a lot. So Amanda's like, yeah, I just didn't want to fall under the old routine of going back to business. Nothing gets discussed. And we're going to couples counseling now,

and I'm just back at the apartment, but she made a really weird comment in therapy. She was like, oh, so like you guys hate each other. Lindsay's job's like, oh my God, has she been listening to us? Was your therapist, Jemma? Was your therapist anyone who has basic observation skills? Because yes, that's correct. Amanda's like, yeah, well, I want some fruit.

Okay, also after that, Kyle and I talked in the park and he said, like, maybe I should get my own place. And so now we see them on a park bench. But that's Lindsay, but you met Amanda. I met Amanda. So, yeah, the shrink was like, I've been doing that today, too. I don't know why. Their voice are a little bit the same. When Amanda's really in like sad-sac mode, her voice, when I tried to do her voice,

I sometimes teeter over into Lindsayberg. Yeah. World. So, yeah, the therapist said that she should get her own place. And so we see a flashback to a park bench with Amanda and Kyle arguing. And Amanda's like, I feel stupid for wanting you to change when you showed no hope. And he's like, show no hope. I can't continue to be in our home around you with the way that it's been going.

If you're going to keep acting like this, I got to go. So we can't be in the same place. And it's like, so your solution is for me to move out? Well, yeah. I mean, isn't that the lover boy office as well? Like, isn't that where they have the lover boy offices as well? I was actually kind of surprised, too, that it's just automatically Kyle gets to keep the apartment. But I'm guessing it's because they have the lover boy offices next door or whatever.

But it's a little weird to be like, I need some time away. So I'm going to start living in a hotel. and then but now I'm going to now actually I've decided I don't want to be here anymore so you have to leave the house. I think it's a little weird. I don't know. I also am surprised she's saying like your solution for me to move out. I'm like, they weren't you the one asking for space? I don't know.

I don't understand sometimes. So. Yeah, I just don't understand the divvying of the property, you know, because if you own the apartment, which I don't think, I don't know if they do. But that would be like something that you divvy in a marriage. But maybe this is just a rental. and so she can't afford the, because that's got to be an expensive as fuck apartment.

Oh my God. Maybe that's why he asked for back rent. It was almost like a, like this way, like, well, no, but if it's a back rent,

then he would pay her. If he was taking over the place, then he should pay her. No, not if she hasn't paid for three years. No, no, but I'm saying theoretically,

like you're buying someone out and be like, okay, this will be my space and you've got to go to your place. But I also do contend that, I don't think that she should pay rent. I really don't. I think if you're married, it's like, because they're married.

It's like it should be like the, the money, his money should be her money, et cetera. Like you may have different. But she said that they have, she said that they don't do it that way and they keep all their, she said on Summer House that they keep all their finances separate.

So she doesn't know anything about his fine, because they were asking her about lover boy and how this affects her. And she's like, I don't care. Like our finances are separate. That wouldn't affect me at all. So she's keeping all of her money and all of her influencing money. She makes money, Amanda.

Like we joke about her lack of work, but she makes a ton of money doing deals and stuff. So I don't know. I get it. I get it that like you're a couple and that like if he's going to pay, he's going to pay. But if someone who's like hates you and is like, fuck you constantly, wouldn't you be like, well, you don't even pay rent? Because this goes back to this whole, you don't do anything. Like you don't contribute anything. So who knows what leads to this?

Yeah, I just, I think it's still like, it's not a roommate situation. I don't know. I think it's like a little weird, especially because she actually professed that she wanted to live in New Jersey. So I don't think she even wanted to live there in the first place. I don't know. I mean, people have different financial arrangements. I get that.

It's not a hill I'm really, I care too much about dying. I just think it's weird. I think it's like you guys are a couple. And like ultimately, may have different accounts, may have different sources of income. You may keep your own, you may keep it separate or whatever, but it's still sort of like your joint thing. So I don't know. You know what?

Who knows? God bless. I don't know. Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess I think it's weird too. I just don't know how it works or how it was separated. But so anyway, they're arguing on the bench. And then she's telling Lindsay about this.

And so Lindsay's like, so what did you say when he mentioned you getting your own place? And she's like, well, even Sierra suggested me and him spending time apart, which is kind of funny because Sierra set this whole thing in motion, really. Well, yeah, she just was the person to finally say what everyone else is probably thinking, right? And so Lindsay's over and over to both of them. Like she really, she really hammered it into Amanda. Then look what happened. Yikes.

Well, you guys haven't been partners for a very long time. Like, you guys are just like now in couples, there will be tackling the resentment that Catlin's built up for years, but it might be too late. Amanda looks at her like, what? Like too late. shoes. Here comes one right now. And then we segue over to Central Park where we see Andre. Ah, Lexi and Andrea, we're holding hands because he's a model and she's a model too.

And they're being models together walking through Central Park. And Andrea's like, I remember the first time we came here together, probably when we first started dating. And I remember falling to my knees and going to Lexi. Oh, God, Lexi. It's like, yeah, in the beginning, right? He's like, oh, call me a romantic, whatever you want, but you know when you meet the one. And Lexi, Lexi is the real deal. She's priceless, Lexi.

Oh, she's a princess, I should say, not priceless. But, you know, princesses are priceless as well. I always dreamed of my point's charming, and we see a video sequence. We see her getting married in a castle. And it's kind of funny because a lot of times on these shows, it's like, it's like Rula and her husband Brian. She's like, he's my Prince Charming. You're like, this guy's not Prince Charming.

This is a fair case. I think like Andrea, strong case for the Prince Charming thing because he is charming and he is hot. They got married in the castle. He's Italian, sexy accent. It's a fair case for the Prince Charming here. And she's like, yeah, I could spend every second of my day with Andrea. I used to dream about getting married at Disney World.

in the princess castle. And then when I got married to Andrea, it was in a real castle, but in Italy. And I was like, where's the Matterhorn? And they were like, this isn't Disneyland.

And I was like, but where's Epcot Center? They're like, it's not Disney World either. And I was like, where am I? Where am I? But then they explained to me

what Italy was. And then we see their wedding, their photos, and how everyone was there. And then Andrea's like, oh, baby Gemma was there. Everyone was there. Even Baby Gemma, but Gemma was in Lindsay's belly at the time. But that was just a rumor at the time.

But then Danielle caught the bouquet. So you never know. She might be next. Alexie. And then we go to a tennis court. And there's Danielle. Married people. It's just, Andrea acts like married people do when they get married.

And they're like, oh, who's next to get married? like they're so desperate to pull you into their cult. You know, it's like when someone gets a heroin addiction and they're like, just try it. Just try it. Like, you know, mystery-less company, I don't know what it is, but they just want to drag you in there. Second, they do it. They're like, what are you getting married?

When are you having a baby? Come on. Water's warm. So then we go over to this tennis court where Danielle is playing tennis with her man, Owen, spelled E-O-I-N. and Danielle, founder slash influencer,

founder of, what was the name of her app? It was something like, I don't know, like, where is a girl or some. Dawn? It was like Dawn decked.

Dawn. Don. I think that, I think it was Dawn and E. Dawn. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's,

you've got a good memory. Don't name an app after. It's funny. All you have to do is, all you really had to do is remove a, remove one end for it to be a future prediction. Yeah, which I really well.

So, Danielle is like, tennis is expensive. So to get lessons for free from this guy over here, he's like, what do you mean for free? Oh my God. Owen is amazing at tennis.

And he's also my boyfriend. And we met nine years ago. And then life happened, AKA fame and other relationships. And I guess you could say he slid back into my DM. Yeah, I slid back into your DMs. Well, I guess you could say you slip back, so I said it.

No, it's an expression. You don't actually have to say. If I say, I guess you could say I slip back into your DMs. You don't have to then say I slid back into DMs, but you said you wanted me to say it. But I did it. I slid it. What do you want me to do? You want me to slide in or slide out?

Which way do you want to me to go? I'm so happy. I love this man. She's like, I'm trying tennis. You have to try my things too. He goes, well, we can make a couple of shitty apps if you want. She's like, oh, yeah, okay, okay. Well, guess what?

It's time to start making babies because I'm 37 and I'd love to have a baby by 38. Come on, come on. Whoa, whoa, slow down. You've been dating this man a second. But that being said, she is pregnant. So he's like, well, if you want to do it, I'd love to do it with you. And I want to do it with you. And she's like, well, I definitely want to be engaged before that.

So I don't know, my dream engagement. We're on the L-I-D-R. we're about to pull up to the Hamptons. The train has an emergency. We're soft. We're stuck there. He gets down on one knee. One knee is in a piece of gum.

The other foot is in a puddle of beer. And he says, Danielle, will you marry me? God, I would hope that happens to me, please. Then he slips a pie chart on my finger. So she's like, oh, God, I would love to be able to share this with Lindsay. But, like, last time I spoke with Lindsay, it was, like, probably like, four months ago. I mean, it was weird because, like, we've known each other so long. I mean, God, I took a glass to the chest for her.

And we see a flashback Sierra throwing the red wine glass of Daniel's chest. And she's like, I'm like, what did I do? Oh, gee, I don't know, Danielle. Maybe watch the last couple of seasons you were on. Yeah. What did you do? Do you have a TV? Now let's go to Tribeca, up and coming Tribeca.

And we see this guy, Kenny, and he jaywalks. He gets honked at. as he should. And this is Kyle's friend slash venture capitalists. Guys, the people that are making America great, the venture capitalists. Don't we love to see what they do to all of our favorite brands? Ah, finally a real hero on this show. Automatically fall in love with Kenny, guys.

He seems like a real great guy. So he sits down with Kyle and Kyle tells us, Kenny and I met in the most stereotypical New York way. What would you? A gay sex clubs. Oh, wait. I was going to say, I think it's different for, our cultures.

We got a lot of mutual friends. We've known each other about each other for like 10 years or we've known each other for 10 years. And he's like the epitome of well. And then Kenny goes, I'm a work hard, play hard guy. That's how we really relate because we both have businesses and we like to go out and drink and enjoy the city. And the producer's like, why are you smirking Kenny? And he's like, oh, I mean, Kyle can be a bit of a lush. Okay.

So it's hard to tame that. But you know, he does have a big personality. I love Kyle so much. First thing I say about him on TV is that he's a fucking lush. But you got to love him. That drunk idiot. Yeah. So Kenny says,

I never thought I'd be the black guy from Michigan who ended up at the investment bank on Wall Street. But here I am, you know, and I'm 15 years later, I start believing I do belong. I left Wall Street to become a venture capitalist investor and ended up investing in lover boy. Ouch! Am I right? Okay. So they can't all be winners. Okay.

We'll start off there. So you're saying you're not a good venture capitalist, right? So then Kenny is like, well, so what's going on with your business? And I was like, I had to lay off five people. Kenny's like, okay, well, at a certain point, dude, just like punt it, right? He's like, if I could have sold it, I would have. So Kyle says that, like, at one point, he was promising a 25x return on everyone's investments. But now he basically is like, I'm on the verge of going out of business.

I don't know how he's going to sell his company. If he keeps on going on TV, saying how bad it is. He is the worst at PR for his company. Oh my gosh. He's like, lover boy sucks. Everybody hates it. Anybody want to buy it? Lover boys to sell.

I guess I'll figure that one. A little girl on the side of the road selling lemonade with a sign that just says, piss, piss. Piss. Five cents. Anybody? Any takers? Kyle was just on a podcast this week and he was talking about, I guess, when all this scandal broke out,

that people started buying lover boy to support him more like when you had the episode with car he's like i have no money i'm dressed as old man i got no money that a lot of people bought lover boy so i think he's kind of leaning in now into like keep it alive by lover boy it's non-profit good a tax read i loveer boy out of pity so um and kyle's like you know i pre uh kennie's like you know it's a hard place let's talk through it let's talk through the debt i love to talk about debt and kyle says well i appreciate your patience You know, I need to communicate better, both of my business and in my marriage. The summer's been a perfect storm. He's like, oh, God, now what's going on with you and Amanda?

And he's like, oh, geez, normally, no matter what, we come together at the end. You know, we leave together at the end of the summer. But she just went to a hotel, and I went home solo. And Kenny tells us, yeah, you know, Amanda's a, or he tells Kyle, that Amanda's a great person, but, you know, she's never really been able to meet you where you're at, which is, you know, at the corner of alcohol and isum. And you know, I think you really deserve somebody who can just get shit faced with you day in and day out.

You know? I mean, you had to go to Friendsgiving solo. Yeah. And like, that doesn't go unnoticed. Okay. When you show up and you've only got one container of sweet potatoes with you, I mean, that's just sad. And I just feel like three years ago,

you gave me a similar update as far as your marriage. And like, you have to ask yourself, if the people that you both aren't met today, would you still choose to be with each other? Don't do. I already talked about the version stuff. Don't bring up the versions.

Because, you know what? Whitney wakes up every day with Zest for Life. She's got great energy. I love Whitney. When he said this, when he said this, I immediately said,

let me guess. She's a model that's younger than you and you've been with her for five minutes. You got to love guys like this. This is so guys like this. Oh, you need someone like mine. She's always so happy. What a zest for life.

Yeah, because you haven't sucked it out of her yet. Let's see by the time you're done with her. Let's see in year three how this is going, buddy. Who actually even says that someone has a zest for life? Are we like in 1952? Well, she has a real zest for life. That's what it sounds like. Like, oh, wow, I found a perfect woman.

Always happy. Never argues with me and has a zest for life. Yeah. So here comes Whitney. And of course, she is gorgeous, tall, gorgeous lady with a dog. And she's like, hello, I'm from Minnesota and I just, I'm just a sucker for love. I love. Doesn't matter.

She said she's from Minnesota. So it's in her. It doesn't come out. I meant to be a mom and a wife and a hot dishmaker. Okay. That's why I did the bachelor. Of course, it was Minnesota bachelor. So I just wound up dating a bunch of pine trees, but it's okay.

A lot of cheese. I dated a lot of cheese skirts that season. Yeah, that's okay. Luke for governor or whatever he's running for. I really, by the way, way, yes on Luke, no on Spencer Pratt. Just want to say that. I really wanted to find love so I was one of eight of the original 30 girls that lasted and it was scary moving across the country for someone for the first time, but I wouldn't do it if I didn't believe Kenny was my person or at

least pretty wealthy. Wow, what a coincidence. An ex-batchelor contestant shows up to move in with her boyfriend the same week they start shooting a TV show. This is crazy. I'm sure it's love, Whitney. I'm sure it's I love wit. Apparently I recapped her season on the podcast I used to do, Rose Pricks about The Bachelor, but I don't remember Whitney at all. So I don't know that that bodes well, but, you know, I also don't remember things. So, who knows? So Kenny's like, yeah, she's happy and positive, but my fear is not working out or me hurting her in some kind of a way. Because, you know, whenever there's that initial spark or that, like, oh, I found my person. And Carl goes, yeah, instant boner.

Yeah, but for me, like, is she the one? It's tricky. He's like not instant boner. Yeah. Because like, oh, yeah. Okay, sure. So now we go to a place that was named after a lovely lady who had a place called Edna's Edna's Edibles. They go to a bar called The Garrett.

And it's a speakeasy that is behind five guys in the West Village. And Kenny's like, Garrett is a New York Institute. It's a speakeasy that also sells really delicious brownies and cookies and it requires you to go through a burger shop just to get there. And I love it. And I'm not just saying that because my friend owns it. The password is

Toolee, Blair. Apparently, George Clooney is coming here all the time. So, we see that this is owned by Gavin. And this is Oh, Gavin. Sorry. Gavin.

Gavin. Gavin. Yes. And Nick, Yvonne's husband. So these are two guys on the show. And so... Wait, wait, wait, wait. Two guys in nightlife?

Well, I'll tell you one thing. Yvonne and Nick, that is a forever couple right there, knowing that she's married to a guy who's in nightlife. This is going to totally work, guys. I assumed that he was like a metal worker in Brooklyn or something from the previews. Doesn't it look like... Why do we? Why don't I think that? It looks like they're like in a Brooklyn loft or like an antique store or something.

I didn't know. He worked in advertising. He sort of had the look of someone who's like pitching, you know, some sort of like non-exciting advertising thing, like a marketing plan for some B-to-B thing, like information systems that way a tuna canning company knows how to reach their customers better. I don't know. Like he just.

Well, so that job that you just described, I have as much interest for, for that as Nick shows in Yvonne, basically, if that explains it to any money. She's like the tuna canning distribution marketing firm to him. So Nick's like, yeah, our friend group has made of a lot of people in different situations, which is amazing. It's amazing. And even if I was like, yeah, we met Andre and Lexi through Lindsay and realize our lives are like very similar to theirs. We got married within a few months of each other. Like, we're talking about starting families.

They're going to probably actually do it. Nick is going to pretend he has a cold and disappear someplace for months at a time, not tell me where he's going. So it's going great for a, but similar, similar, similar couples, is what I'm saying. So,

yes, so they're all gathering. This is their CNMO's fire. It's their cheers. It's their whatever bar people go to in pop culture. And it's the, Is there a central perk? Soft bar.

With booze. Central bar. Central bar. So they're all waiting. Everyone's gathering at the garret. And then they're like, where's a car? Where's Carl and Amanda? Well, guess what?

Khan and Amanda have just emerged from the subway tunnel. And they come upstairs. And Kyle's like, well, not the greatest sign that the therapist wanted to meet us again tomorrow. And also said, seriously, you guys get better divorce. Otherwise, I'm hanging up by my therapist going into an artist's car. I'm not a good sign, Manda. That's funny. The therapist, he just told them.

Oh, my God, you guys hate each other. Yeah, you should probably come in tomorrow and the next day. You know, you just want to sleep here. Why don't you guys just sleep here? Don't leave. How about this? Don't leave therapy. I'm just going to press play on this video, and I'm going to walk out, and by the time it's done, I will have moved to a different city.

I'm just, I'm not doing this anymore. Guys, I've become a pottery person. Quit therapy. I'm in Santa Fe. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Got a poncho. Bye.

Did you know Shirley McLean is actually a very nice lady? Anyway, I'm done being a therapist. Get out. Is that? What? Who's that? Shirley Maclean? Jat. She listens to Santa Fe.

It's very spiritual. So Matt is like, yeah, we're moving backwards. Her words. And we're supposed to be taking actions to move things in the right direction. But you go DJ to gig until two and then you go out after and then you're home at 4 o'clock of the morning and the day we have therapy? she had it with him. She's like, I'm trying to make this work.

I'm trying to make it work so we don't call it quits me. You're not giving me any help. Listen, if the only way to make this work is for Kyle to not DJ and go out all night, it's not going to work. So either you change or Kyle change this. Another one if you wants to. End it. I mean, so are the people of Nyack just supposed to like not dance?

You know, I got to help the people. Oh, I'm sorry. What is his foot tight? Oh, I'm sorry. I guess the people of Tapan don't deserve any sort of music in their lives. Okay, I'll just stay in with you. Good luck, everyone. Sorry I had to drive over the Como Bridge. Listen, don't leave Hoboken hopeless. Okay? And I'm like, I'm not going to make it work. I'm like sweating. I have shit to do, Kyle. He goes, well, you're wearing a raincoat in the summer. It's like, it's not a raincoat. Oh, well, it looks like a ringgo to me. It's a tricky. It's a tricky coat.

It was just like a trench dress kind of thing. She goes, I don't know what you want. Well, I want some sort of apparel that makes some sort of sense. Like, if you want to wear a wringo, wear a wringo, but don't wear something. It looks like a wringo, but it's not a wringo. It wasn't even the point of that. That's like booking a gig in Union, New Jersey, and then having to stay home. I mean, the name of unions in it's supposed to strengthen our union.

What don't you get Amanda? We're both struggling in our own ways. And I just want to be happy and I want to be with you. I want you to be with me. Well, I mean, I'm in therapy with you. I'm making an effort. I'm not going backwards. It's like, God, can we just go?

She's like, I'm not going to go meet you guys out. I'm exhausted, and I'm not going to put on a face for our friends. I'm going home. Consider this friend's giving in every other day for the past 10 years. Fuck off. Consider this friends getting you and not me. Hi. Bye.

So then he's like, okay. So now we go back to the Garrett. it. And now it says Whitney gets to know the New York girls as they talk. Whitney. Which one was Whitney? Was Whitney the Minnesota? She's the new model from Minnesota. Okay. And so everyone's like talking and Lindsay is talking to Kenny. She's like, so how long have you and we made me dating? He's like, probably about a year, but we took it slow for a while because why would you ever go fast when you've got like a gorgeous supermodel who wants nothing but to just be around you? God. Red flag. You know, we started dating a year ago, but it took me about 11 months to realize nobody else wanted to fuck me. So I said, sure, come on. We want to be on a TV show? So Gavin's like, well, Kenny was going around being a playboy with me. And so Kenny's like, okay, don't do that to me on TV.

All right. I'm not a playboy. I'm not a fuck boy. I'm not going to fall into that trap. So let me pull out this card. Let me be very clear. My mother was passing. So I wasn't the best version of myself.

I am now insulated. from fuck boy rumors. Thank you very much. I no longer have a sick mother, so I'm not as horny. Duh. So, Ryan,

who's Lindsay's friend is there, and he's like, what stage of grief has the fuck boy stage? And then Kenny is like, honestly, she's a doll. And we're seeing,

look, she's a doll with a zest for life. And we're just going to see where it goes. Oh, God. Him calling her a doll when I feel like that's literally how he's going to be treating her. You can just read it all over this guy.

You can just tell in his attitude towards her that he's looking at her like as a doll, a fuck doll. He's going to be condescending to her and then get her gifts when he feels bad. Yeah. And when she has a problem, he's going to be like, what? You used to be so happy and joyful. What is this? It's like you hit this part of yourself from me. I just see it coming.

So Lindsay's like, um, she moved across the country before a ring as a girl. That's a lot. Lindsay, you had a baby with the man you leave for five minutes. come on you're not necessarily wrong but you are also lindsay so yeah exactly we sat through a season of stravy okay so kenny is can he goes whoa whoa lindsay i'm getting i hate men vibes which by the way like literally there's no vibe whatsoever that lindsay is giving of that i think lindsay loves men to be honest and kenny for kenny to be like the moment that there's any sort of like pushed back, like, oh, man hater, man hater. I'm like, you, sir, you and your VC ways.

You're on my radar right now. Yeah. But by the way, you are giving me those vibes, Kenny. That's like literally the vibes I'm getting right now. I hate man hater. Just, yes, I'm getting those as I watch Kenny. I'm like, I think I might hate men. Of course, this is right after Summer House, and I just watched the Valley. So I've had a whole, I've had a whole day of these fucking men. So Lindsay's like, I'm just allergic to annoying man. Oh, if I like. She's not going to take his shit for two seconds. So I like it.

It's like they brought somebody on for Lindsay to beat up. Yep. And he's like, you don't have to be engaged to move in together. Like newsflash. Um, I'm just saying it's a big commitment. When you're moving across the country for someone. And she's basically saying for someone who probably is not going to take this seriously. I think that's what she's saying.

Yeah. Well, it sounded to me like she's saying. saying, be nice to her because that's a huge move. Like, take this seriously and be good to her. And Whitney's like, well, this is like a very expensive chapter for us. So it's nice to do it slow and not all at once. And Kenny's like, yeah, we know what we're doing. We're not rushing it.

So Lindsay says, yeah, I'm just trying to get to know, Kenny. So, like, if you're feeling pressed by me when I'm asking like very generic questions, that sounds like a problem. So Gavin's like, are you feeling attacked right now? He's like, well, I mean, there's a panel of people in front of us. And everyone just, like, laughs. And so then Kyle arrives, and he's like, Amanda's not going to be here, by the way. And Lindsay's like, okay, so let's like talk.

Like, Amanda told me after the house, like, she stayed in a hotel for two days. Like, how does that make you feel? You know, what type of hotel was it? Was it good? Was it a good hotel? And he's like, well, despite our ups and downs, we've never not left the ham to them together. I'm getting more and more confused by our couples therapy. Well, therapy is confusing because you're unpacking years of issues that have gone our address,

You could also just watch the show that you've been on to know exactly that your relationship is zoomed. Yeah, you're fine. And so Danielle comes in and Trixie sings, I bet you miss me, miss me. I bet you miss me. I bet you miss me, don't you? The Danielle anthem that America sings whenever she shows up. There she is. Who's that girl?

Oh, my God, your boss. I got to pee. So she leaves. And then Yvonne's like, oh my God, are you going to talk to Danielle? It's like, no, I'm sick of giving passes. I don't need negative competitive energy in my life unless it's Gemma. So she's like, every year it's like fucking something. And let me just like pull up all the ways that Daniel has annoyed me.

And so she pulls out a phone and the producer's like, wait, you have a list on your phone. She's like, yeah, they have it in my phone. I'm like, she's crazy. Meanwhile, I did stay up to 1 a.m. I'm writing down a list of things that Danny Zuko has done for the past. past two years on the valley, but whatever. So then Lindsay is like, I can't wait until I get there. I know.

I am not using my time properly. Lindsay's like, season four, Carl and I tried to date. And then one week later, she's giving my hand job in the back of an Uber. And then season seven, do I just really need to talk about the engagement? I mean, just flashback on me. And then you see, Danielle's crazy reaction to the engagement. So back to the bar. Danielle's like, um, she has a new home and I have a new man and all this stuff that's like a big deal.

Like I'm not sharing it with my once best friend. That's crazy, Carl. He's like, yeah, right, right, right. Okay, right, right, right. So Lindsay's like, um, I don't even know that guy's name. Like Owen on, off. Like, what's his name? Owen is, uh, whew. Tap, tap, tap, tap. Hi, it's Danielle, founder of saying hello. I just want to say hi. and, you know, I was wondering if maybe you might be open to getting lunch or coffee or getting the D. Sorry, reflex, but next week or something, like whenever you're free, whenever, or not free, or whenever you would maybe want to, should I just go through Gemma? She's your calendar? I don't know. What should I do?

Um, can I think about it because I'm a little bit busy these days? And it's like, don, don't, don. And Danielle's like, um, like with a newborn? Um, yeah. Yeah, okay. No, no, I get it. Okay, uh, bye. Danielle just runs the hell out of there. Yeah. I was like, uh, I don't only get the issue. So many things.

And then she goes through like her list of, you know, issues, grievances. And so Kyle's like, well, first of all, hand jobs suck. So just in general, I'm just saying like that really sucks. By the way, to be fair, Danielle was with Carl before Carl was with Lindsay. So there may have been enough time past. Well, she wasn't with him. She hooked up with him, right? I think they dated.

Oh, really? I think they full on dated. I don't know. It's not that. I thought that they just like hooked up or something. And then Lindsay like dated Carl. But Lindsay didn't care about any of that when that was happening. Like she didn't,

she's adding this to her list now. Like this is what a shitty person, Daniel was. But she didn't care about that thing because they were all running around together all the time. And we're much more casual about sex and hooking up and stuff at that. time anyway. So at least that's how I remember. I remember her not really caring. I remember this dating thing wasn't even, it was like basically he fingered her. And then they're like, we should have a relationship now that you fingered me. And then like

it lasts of like one night on like a rooftop and they had that weird fight and then it dissolved. Yeah. That's how I remember it to you. But yeah, Lindsay's pissed. So she's going to make a list. And if you're on it, she's going to put everything you've ever done onto that. to that list. So Kyle's like, yeah, I got a handjob stuck, but I would be a lot of money for a handjob. And I have to agree, I'm not really a big handjob person. So then I know that everybody was wondering. So there you go, everybody. Guess what, not to get me for Christmas. Handjob. Thank you. So we go to Tribeca now, and Yvonne and Lindsay are going to Georgina's Dermatology Office to get her for Girls' Night. And Lindsay's like, I'm, you know, I've closed. Just come in your scrubs. And she's like,

Are you kidding? I have like everything in here. I have like a human abode. Look at this. I have dresses, condoms, lollipops. Like, what else do you need, you guys? It's so refreshing to have mom friends. Like, Georgina just gets it. She has like a full dermatology practice to try Becca. I love my mom friends. Oh, sorry, Yvonne. Evon's like, thanks a lot. Thanks for rubbing that into me that we don't have a child yet. So Georgina says a lot of the time, I'm like, look how cool I am. living in Tribeca, derm, raising kids, restraining order against the cats that lay miss. Like, look at me, I'm doing it all. And then, like, there are other times where I'm like my daughter, Eloise. Of course my daughter's named Eloise, by the way. Of course.

My name's Regina. How do I not have a daughter named Eloise? She looks me dead in the eye and says, she's like, just takes a bite of dog food. So yeah, you know what I did? I just looked at that nutrition, the nutritional facts. I said, you go, girl, have that dog tree. Go fucking nuts. That's pure protein.

So Georgina does, in fact, have a cute little dress in a cabinet that she can pull out to go out, which I loved. And Lindsay's like, oh, my God, Mills City. So now we get girl pods. We're girls going out. We're girls who are going out. And so Lindsay, Georgina and Yvonne sit in a corner and chat, and Amanda's on her way. And Lindsay's like, things with her and Kyle are not good. Like, they're just living very separate lives.

And he was telling me that she hasn't paid rent in three years. And they found's like, And he didn't care. No, but then he tallied it all up and charged her last week. I should you not. And we see a flashback. Yeah, they see a flashback of Amanda. By the way, if your marriage is crumbling and trying to save it,

maybe don't invoice your wife for back rent. I don't know. But Amanda is, yeah, she basically says, like she paid like $117,000 to Kyle. So now Amanda shows up to this rooftop bar. And Lindsay's like, I'm not going to lie. I was catching them up on you or talking about you.

Yeah. I was like, okay, well, rule one, though, of the night, no talking shit about me or anything bad. I want to hear about your problems. I need the gossip. I need the tea. I need the drama. I don't want to talk about me.

Okay, so my plans with Nick. Oh, God, I didn't mean Yvonne. Can anybody else go? Phil's like, yeah. Well, Nick and I, like, he's decided he's not ready to be a dad. Oh my God, is he not ready or just nervous? He's a great dog, dad. Well, I mean, you know how that works, don't you?

Nick and I have a great relationship, but when we first got married, like, hit a few bumps in the road. But I was under the impression that we wanted to start trying for a family, but he would consistently push off the conversation. So I was so annoyed with him that I was like, you know what? I'm just going to go to San Diego and just not tell him. So I hopped on a plane, got a week long pass for the San Diego Zoo. some pandas, fed a giraffe, and guess what he didn't even notice? And I'm like, hello, I'm not there. I had to, like, show him a few true crime docs afterwards because I'm like, if something

happened to me, he'd be the first person under investigation. Like, it's wild. It's crazy that the Valley is also in San Diego celebrating terrible marriages. It's like San Diego's really not winning in the terrible marriage race. It's not. It's not a great moment for San Diego. So Amanda's like, it's always the man that's a problem. I mean, just start turkey basting. Just put a sperm in a turkey master.

So, like, Katie was telling me about Danielle guys. Okay, gather around. I've got really good gossip. So apparently Danielle just moved in with this guy that's still marrying. And we see a Bravo and Cocktails headline, Summer House Homewrecker. Lindsay's former BFF having an affair. Whoa. She was talking about having kids with him in the fall. And they're like, what? You're blowing my mind right now?

You need to stop? And they're like, it's so hypocritical. Who does that? So, I mean, there is like, the one element to this is like, it is crazy that Amanda is the one clocking this when she's, you know, about to be, she is married and she's going to be, you know, in a relationship with West or if she isn't already. But I guess the part of it is that like Amanda, I mean,

Danielle had lots of opinions about things moving too fast or timelines. et cetera, et cetera, with Lindsay. And then here she is, jacking up with a married guy. Yep. So then we go to Chelsea Living Room. I guess that's the name of a restaurant. And Amanda and Kyle go for a wedding anniversary scene.

This is going to end well. You already know this is going to be great. So Kyle's like, yeah, it's been a year since we've been on an actual date, but there's no way we're not doing something on our anniversary. I'm feeling optimistic because, you know, we made a little progress from just a few weeks ago. Really? You were just told by the therapist, you hate each other and you need to come to therapy every day. Let me tell you something.

Every time he says we made progress, it reminds me of like when I'm like installing an app on like my phone or on my computer and I get a progress bar. And then it just like stalls out midway through and I keep on looking at it. And I start convincing myself that it's actually move forward a few millimeters. I'm like it's yeah. No, it's moving. It's no. It's not stuck. It's going.

It's going. Everything's fine. We made some progress here. It's going to install. It's like no. There's a glitch in the system. him and you're just hanging. It's over. You have to reboot. It's over. We got a reboot. You got a reboot, baby. Time to upgrade the phone. So Amanda's like, yeah, we're celebrating

the fact that anyone said we wouldn't make it to three years without getting divorced was wrong. We made it to four. Well, I know therapy has been no walk in the park, even though we actually did kind of walk in the park afterwards and sat down on a bench. But, you know, whatever. I appreciate you doing it with me. And I just want you to feel like we're moving forward. in therapy yeah well you feel like we are because our therapists literally burned down her office building she said i can't do it anymore i'm broken please let me never see these people again i won't even turn on the tv so i don't know if we're doing so well with therapy i don't remember if i gave them three years or five but now that i'm thinking about it i'm like did i give them

three years like i always do you ever feel like that like is the tv talking back to me personally. Some of these. I'm sure someone. Someone, one of our great listeners will probably find the prediction. Just use some sort of AI bot to look up the transcripts. Yeah. If anyone comes across that episode while you're doing a relisten, let me know.

Because I know people are right now because of the scandal. So Kyle's like, yeah, you know, therapy hasn't been a walk in the park. But we're doing great. And she's like, are we though? Because like I've felt lower than I've felt in a really long time. I'm like, how can I be married to somebody who doesn't even know what a raincoat dress looks like? Well, it hasn't been easy. Oh, I know.

But like, no, seriously, because it's like, normally I think a rain goes is just being yellow and shiny. And so it's like, why is it even? Like, I don't know. It's like it's fashion's like really difficult. Like, maybe there's a rank coat even think it's a raincoat or does it think it's a dress? Oh, the questions that keep me up at night. Do they have umbrella dresses? Kyle.

I just, it's just not going the way I really want to. to. I'm going to move out. Wow. Great time to announce it on the anniversary. Yeah. At least have one final. Yeah. Jesus. The man just charged you for back rent. You think he's not going to make you pay this dinner bill? You could have done this for free. Do whatever slices. You know what I mean? Jeez. So she's like, and I don't mean permanent. Like, this is like a month maybe,

like to make things better between us because I want to stay together and spend time together like this. It's just hard to have Westover if you're in the apartment. Yeah. It's just like, you know, you go to my place. I go to your place and then we can have date nights and like spend time together and like maybe not spend time together. He's like, what?

It's a lot to swallow, but I'm trying to be open and understanding. And can you just promise me this? If I, if I agree to this, she's like, no, it's not your blessing. It's not your blessing, Kyle. It's not a matter of agreement. Yeah, it's my decision. No. And I did love that she said that.

it's not your choice. But it is, it's her choice and it's her undisputable choice to move out. But it's all, but it, he would have to agree to this whole like, we now date each other. If he's like, I don't know. If you move out, it's done. Right. Like, so he does have something to agree to here. Yeah, I think he's just like, okay, it's all you. It's just like, whatever. He's like, well, I'm just, uh, you know, I'm just, I'm not sold on this issue with the solution. You know, it feels extreme. I've never heard of a couple like separating, you know, to make things better. but maybe is what we need. I don't know. Hello. It's like all like the cast of real house house in New Jersey.

It was like Jackie and her, Jackie's parents, Dolores, Dolores's parents. I feel like that's like the constant thing. Everyone has different houses. So then. So then some older eyes. The khakis squad shows up. The khakis and blue button downs and white t-shirts.

Yeah. Come over and say, Hey, guys. It's our anniversary. And they're like, wow, happy anniversary. And she's like, yeah, it's going great. God, you're such an asshole. Why are you even doing this, Amanda?

Just fucking send him an email. Like, don't take the guy out on his anniversary, dump him, and then kind of mock him with other dudes. Like, he's a dick. He's a dick. That sort of kills me. That she does. Like, that does kill me a little bit.

So anyway, it's good to see that in the city is, yeah, looks like we've got all the pieces in play for a nice toxic season. we'll see how it unfold. And next week, we are going to finally get into the summer house reunion and the, with more in the city. So Tuesday nights are going to be going off.

But don't worry, don't worry, don't worry. If all this toxicity is too much for you, the good news is the valley is up next. God help us. God help us this week. That so is close to irredeemable at this point. But we'll see tomorrow.

I think it's better now. I think it's great. But anyway, fuck. Okay, everybody. Thanks so much for being here. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Watch what crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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