Watch What Crappens - #34: You'll See Your Ass Where It Ends Up

Episode Date: September 14, 2012

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From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, during this show, as in many of our shows, we will be talking about Carol's book. You know, the one about that husband who passed away that she doesn't really like to talk about unless she's being paid to write a book about it or be on a TV show to talk about it. Don't bring it up.

You know the one, I don't like talking about planes. Anyway, that book we talked about, we talked about Andy Cohen's book a little bit. You can find these books and instead of actually reading them, you can listen to them in your car, your iPod, wherever you're listening to this. Just go to audiblepodcast.com forward slash bravo for your free audiobook. That's audiblepodcast.com forward slash bravo. Once you sign up, you can get your first book for free. You guys, you should never read. You should always listen.

This is 2012. Reading is no longer necessary. All right? So thanks for being here, and thank you, Audible, because today's show is brought to you by Audible. Please visit audiblepodcast.com forward slash bravo for your free audiobook download. Now let's get on with it.

When you talk, all I hear is for your free audiobook download. Now let's get on with it. Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast dedicated to all the crap we love on Bravo. Our beloved friend Ben Mendelker is partying, I believe, in the Hamptons with Kelly Killer and Ben Simone. So today it is me... Yeah, she's teaching him how to be hot. Oh, well, did anybody buy that book? I don't think so. I don't think so because I haven't seen anybody looking any hotter out on the street. That's true. And we're looking.

We're looking to see if they're getting hotter. Yeah. Anyway, my name is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo. I am at Life on the M-List. And joining me as always is Ronnie Karam from TVgasm, a.k.a. Flip It, a.k.a. At TVgasm on the Twitter. That's just me. Don't forget to follow us on Twitter at What Crappens. I always mess that up every time,

every time. And then, um, if you love us and you should, I mean, we've been together now for what? 30 plus episodes. You should definitely go to iTunes and give us a five star review.

Anything less than five stars will maybe make me a cutter like Demi Lovato. Demi, don't make fun of Demi Lovato and her cutting. Only people who are above 35, we can make fun of Demi Lovato and her cutting only people who are above 35 we can make fun of on this show I feel bad for children because I'm an old lady now excuse me Lauren Manso is always fair game but she looks 47

Lauren Manso is always fair game she looks 47 even though she's only like 21 she looks like she's wearing a deflated mask of a 47 oh and also if you guys hear noise in the background that's my dog Bueller normally I lock him up like an evil evil father but he's 47 oh and also if you guys hear noise in the background that's my dog bueller normally i lock him up like an evil evil father but he's he's just too cute and he's going to be our sidekick with ben out of town but ben should be back with us next week where we will be discussing

the real housewives of mijami which premieres this coming thursday we also have uh beverly hills to look forward to in the coming weeks but But today, we're going to be talking about St. Bart's drama, Real Housewives of New York City. We're going to talk about Real Housewives of New Jersey, which had an explosive episode as well. Maybe not so explosive. I mean, not compared to New York. No, Jersey was pretty boring. Pretty tame. Well, we hate Carolina.

We'll get to that in a few minutes. And then we will wrap up with a quick moment with our girls, our gallery girls. Gallery girls. You know, we love them, we can't leave them. I'm still team Maggie. We'll get there. We're all hating on Amy. Poor, tragic Amy. But let's

just start with, let's go to St. Bart's. I mean, we've been there for how many episodes now? We've been there for like 19 episodes. The Housewives used to be this long. That's true. Right. The first season of Orange County, I recall, was maybe less episodes than

the trip to St. Barts. Yeah, it was like Vicky going to the car wash. Yeah. That was the whole season. Oh, Coda da Casa, how we miss you. Yeah, this one has been crazy. It's been one of their, you know, three-part trips. But don't you say the New York ladies

do a crazy getaway better than anybody? They do, yeah. And even this group, because this group has been so boring all year, and they've really earned their money this year, I feel like. I feel like we should give them props because they've really tanked it,

and then suddenly they're putting out. It's true. It's true. The first few episodes, we were all incredibly concerned. I want to even say, like, four or five episodes in, we were like, this is the death of the Real Housewives of New York City. Around that time, we had a special episode with Jill Zarin, and we were all cursing the show to death.

I mean, you know, Jill can't keep her mouth shut. What's our favorite line? What do you always like to say about Jill Zarin? Shut up, Jill Zarin. Shut up, Jill Zarin. up jill zarin shut up jill zarin i was actually even saying that during this episode because it got so good that i could actually hear jill zarin in my head just throwing shit beating bobby throwing the dog grounding the daughter just pissed off that it ended up turning out well i know i gotta say though that i do miss jill on a crazy Real Housewives of New York City getaway. Well, now you've got Aviva. That's true.

Aviva is the saggy blonde, the saggier blonde Jill. Okay, well, let's start off. The beginning of the episode, I mean, the previous episode, I should say, is when Aviva and Reed arrive from New York. Again, this woman who can't fly on airplanes continues to fly on airplanes.

It's clearly not that big of an issue for her. She is defying gravity. She is. It's very Idina Menzel style. And you know what? In the morning, I was kind of hoping that they'd be gone.

But they were still there. Me too. This bitch keeps threatening to leave and she stays there. Get out. Leave. And then she actually has the audacity and i thought this was a joke for the first 10 seconds but she was serious this is aviva she actually thought that they should have made a banner for her arrival like i don't know if she's talking about like a dot matrix printout or if we're talking about like glitter but she thought that there should be a ceremony she's not a fucking princess or a countess who the fuck is this bitch well i yeah

i love that she's like why aren't you thanking him for getting me here you guys you should be kissing the ground he walks on it's like fuck off get out of here no one wants you and not because you're a gimp because you're an asshole but yet yet Carol puts up with her. I don't know why Carol puts up with her when Aviva is kind of the worst. Carol puts up with kind of everything. Carol's kind of a doormat. I think that if her face wasn't so stiff, maybe we'd see what she's really feeling. But she's got that poker player old lady face where it just doesn't move anymore. And you don't know what the hell she's thinking.

And speaking of Carol, she cried this week about the ladies talking about a plane crash because you know i don't know if you've heard her bf she doesn't like to talk about it except in her confessionals and every episode yeah except like every time she's on the screen um and in her resume and you know and on Oprah that special episode of Oprah yeah so anyway during this episode

I mean we had dinner parties from hell we had but before that we even had we had a lunch

the lunch went to shit in about five minutes and this is when well before the lunch we had that huge fight in the bedroom because Ramona started going off again today, or this week, about this was supposed to be a girl's trip

and how are we supposed to end with a girl's trip? Okay, so what's your take on that? Because I kind of would expect it to be a girl's trip. Well, she was... Ramona was all pissed because she had heard of this couple's dinner and then she starts giving Carol shit and Carol lays on the bed to

listen to her just get abused and Carol, you know, she's like, what's the big deal? We'll see you after. And it is kind of a big deal, I guess, when you don't invite some of the guests to be. But she's obviously trying to keep everything calm and keep Aviva from screaming at everybody and her face falling off

and everything else that's been going on. That should be her ultimate concern. But her hot piece, Russ, I mean she rarely sees the man. I say if you're on vacation and you can see your man, get to business. Fuck her. Bone the man. Yeah. Who cares about the women? Bone the man.

But as long as he's just not there the whole time. Which he was and I think he was very good about coming in. No. He wants to fuck her in the casita and leave before dawn. Yeah, he doesn't want to sit around and listen to Ramona yap on anyway. Now Reed, on the other hand. Oh, he's a lady. He wants to get in the mix. Yeah.

So the girls are all fighting, and then Aviva just happens to be walking by. And Aviva can't just say, okay, drop it. You know, we're going to dinner. Sorry to offend you. Let's just go. She also also by the way doesn't knock she just shows up in it look i hate ramona but she just walks into ramona's room yeah is that is that a problem or if something if the door wasn't closed if ben and i were talking

shit about you in my bedroom and you happen to be walking by let's say we're all on vacation in fire island not that i've been or want to go um and you heard us talking shit about you and it was my bedroom would you walk in to defend yourself or would you like of course okay well you're right i probably would put visine in your drinks later and just watch you shit your faces off the whole rest of the trip i would have poisoned you you would have poisoned me not to death just to not to death just extreme dehydration yeah i would ruin your trip and then i would take the wallets out of your pants and go shop

I was going to say you're not going to get much well with the both of you maybe I can get your parents credit cards I'm sure Ben has his parents credit card I don't have my parents anymore Ben love you XOXO so you're right there was a fight

that erupted before the women even got to lunch but then at the lunch it just got worse because at that point aviva won't shut the fuck up i mean they really found a woman who's as annoying as ramona but without the accent but here's the thing well that's true she doesn't have well she has a weird accent she kind of has like a fake madonna accent she does yeah she does have and it's like you're from like bumblefuck new york yeah you're from like yonkers yeah so drop, New York. Yeah, you're from, like, Yonkers. Yeah, so... And you just dropped the crap.

Thank you. Cut the crap. This woman, though, she actually believes all of the crazy bullshit that comes out of her mouth. You know, some people are clearly on this show and are trying to buy themselves a second season or, you know, an additional season by acting full-on crazy. This woman truly is crazy. Yeah, she's really mortified that people aren't just enamored with her. We've seen it before.

We saw it when, I mean, the children with no legs from a few weeks ago. Oh, yeah, yeah. She lost her goddamn mind and couldn't get that crazy train back on the tracks. And that is happening week after week now. Yeah. Well, poor Aviva, you know,

a commenter pointed out in one of the recaps of the show that Aviva lost her leg very young and suddenly had the whole world being nice to her. And so she's been spoiled. And that's kind of heartless, actually, to say it out loud. But it is true. It's like everyone's been kissing her ass and now she's met a bunch of people who don't give a shit. And she's like, oh, but my leg! It's kind of rocking her legs. My leg!

Yeah. It's like, bitch, that was 67 years ago. Just drop it already. No, that's true. But, okay, so at this lunch, you know, earlier in the episode, Heather was not clued into this whole date night situation. And then Heather finds out about, you know, the double date with Russ and Carol and Aviva and her husband. And she loses her shit too.

Everyone's losing their shit at this lunch. Carol's getting upset about small plane crashes and goes shopping before the lobster even arrives. Heather leaves to go have a siesta on the beach,

you know, before they even pay the bill. Luann's all fake French talking to people who don't even know French. She's like, oh, bonjour, le poisson, le poisson,

how I love le poisson. She loves a good savant. Okay, let's just address this, though. Luann is still talking about the fucking Italians that do not exist. Yeah, poor Luann. When is she going to drop it?

When they get back to New York and Ramona spills the beans on Jacques? Well, I don't know. I mean, she did say in the preview, she does say, oh, I just wanted to, I just want this relationship with Jacques to last. I'm so worried about it. But I think she's talking about her fake pregnancy.

I do too. I think that she is going to find some way to sweep this under the rug. And Jacques either is so much of a TV whore that, you know, he doesn't care what she does in order for him to remain on the show. Yeah. You know, he's probably fucking

20 other bitches on the side anyway, right? I mean, he's French and straight. They all think he's balky and that guy used to be on TV. Why do you keep going with a balky reference?

He looks like balky. I think he looks like Adrian Brody. Doesn't he not look like balky? Adrian Brody, he wishes. He wishes. Okay, you're right. Anyway, yeah,

next week we're gonna deal with Luanne thinking that she's pregnant at 50 with Jacques' French babies and... She's gonna give birth at the same time Kim Richards gives birth.

That would be... They should have that for sweeps. They're gonna have little Benjamin Button babies. Kim Richards having a baby would just be too much for me to handle.

Anyway, so what happened... do you watch game of thrones of course you know when that evil lady had that baby but it was like a devil baby and it was like a spirit and it just came it was like oil that came like sliming out of her that's what kim richard's crotch is like no i think that's what luann's baby is gonna be like it's gonna be like crawling out of her like the suez Canal or what canal did her family buy? Is it the Suez Canal? The Rio Grande. The Rio Grande.

She's going to come sliming out of her talking fake French. Oh, well. Ça va. Ça va. Le poisson. Okay, so would a couple's dinner bother you or would you just be like, fuck it, I don't care? Like Carol was like, we'll meet up with you after. Yeah, I don't want to sit around with a bunch of couples.

Heather, though, seems to want to be invited to all of these things. And I like Heather, don't get me wrong. She's kind of my favorite, but... Well, Heather got confronted in the beginning of the season because she was the one leaving people out. And Aviva was the one telling her that she was being exclusive and leaving people out. So this just proves that Aviva is a psycho bitch. Yeah, and then Carol got on Aviva's side

and was trying to talk Heather into inviting everybody, making everybody include... Everybody was against her and saying, it's not cool for you not to invite Ramona. And then they do it and they don't even think twice about it. They're like, what's the big deal? So we're excluding you. I would think like on a six-day vacation,

you can have one fucking meal with a smaller group of people. Oh, I think so too but it was the husband so it's like couples and that's already been a thing and i don't know carol just probably didn't i would do anything i could to get away from ramona and sonia like anything right the casita wasn't far away enough i'd been like we're jumping out of planes today bye right sorry aviva we're gonna go do deathdefying acts. But what did you think? I mean, Carol actually did have a point. She always is the fifth wheel throughout the entire season because she's not married like the rest of these women. Well, she could maybe date somebody instead of just fuck half New York City.

Or fuck people that don't live in New York City because that makes it even more convenient. Yeah. She's single. It's like I can't complain when I go out with all my friends who are couples because I make no effort to be, you know, it's not like, oh, poor me. I can't. Not even the OkCupid? Oh, no. Really? No.

Success. I'm telling you. Success. Yeah, well, maybe one day. But no, I don't know. I don't crave it. I have a dog in a hand. Oh, wow. I have a dog for the love and I have a hand for the sex. I don't really need anything else. Or the dog for the love and i have a hand for the sex i don't really need anything else or the dog for the love and the hand wait never mind anyway um lord i think that heather got a little too offended because as soon as carol said that heather was kind of like

i never make you feel like the fifth wheel and i was like if she doesn't have a husband she feels like the fifth wheel that's how us singletons feel yes it's on us to go get you know rich husbands or rich wives or whatever but i don't know i just kind of felt like the two of them crying with each other on the beach was ridiculous however at the end of the day they're the only two i like they're the most normal still i think so far but you know heather's just still such an asshole it's like her whole thing the whole trip has been she's so much more mature than everybody else and she doesn't need these petty fights and she'll just ignore ramona she doesn't need to get in a fight

with ramona no and then one little thing happens and she's like i'm leaving i can't believe you would do this i would never do it's like, you're not invited to dinner because it's 2012 and you still say holler. Get the fuck out of here. You're not coming to dinner. Okay, fine. Okay, fine. Oh, you just said holler today. Sorry.

But I think you were evoking Heather. Well, yeah. Well, I like her, so I'm allowed to evoke her. Oh, she's ridiculous. She's one of those people that's like, I think would be really nice at a party, and then I'd turn around and she'd be like, did he gain weight? I mean, let's be honest, you guys. She just seems like that.

Wait, you are sounding like fucking Ramona right now. I am? Yes, because Ramona is convinced that Heather keeps talking behind her back. Well, she does. Maybe I just, you know, I like Heather. Which is totally justified. I mean, Ramona's a horrible human being.

That's what I'm getting at. And I have gained weight. The thing is, like, I mean, Ramona's a horrible human being. That's what I'm getting at. And I have gained weight. The thing is, like, I guess I'm afraid of that kind of truth. I've been living in LA for so long that I like true fakeness. You know, where people actually believe the bullshit they're telling you. Oh, well then you should be friends with Aviva. She believes everything that comes out of her mouth. I think that I like Heather because I think I am Heather.

And, you know know I take work seriously I have a big nose I have a flat chest and I'm really good at ignoring horrible people like Ramona and I like to talk shit behind people's backs I think I'd let her off the hook

I am totally into shapewear. I'm wearing some right now. From the Jill Zarin line. Wait, it's not available in stores like Bethany's. Jill Zarin. But anyway, I think that I just like Heather because I think I relate to her. I don't know. I think Heather's a flaming asshole, pretty much like all of them.

The only one I think that's not really an asshole yet is Carol, but she's kind of an asshole for evoking the Kennedys so much. Yeah, I mean, like, if that's your bread and butter, we got it, but stop. I don't want to talk about my friends, but did you see that miniseries about the Kennedys on Reels, the Reels channel. Yeah, she, um, here's the thing. Like, last season we had Cindy Barshop. One season, Wonder Cindy, Bikini Wax Barshop.

However, I think that Andy Cohen thinks that Carol is so fucking cool that Carol can sit around and do nothing all season long. She is, because now she's unleashed herself and she's actually calling them out on their bullshit. Well, in her confessionals, yes, exactly. Let's get that straight. She would never confront anybody to their face, but she's really doing nothing all season long

except delivering hilarious, you know, backstabbing confessionals. But I think that that's enough to buy her another season. I just think that she has, like, a cool factor. Perhaps it's her ridiculous leather gloves. But just think that she has like a cool factor. Perhaps it's her ridiculous leather gloves, but I mean, she has a cool factor. And I think that Andy Cohen,

you know, wants to sleep with her maybe more so than Madison Hildebrand. Ew. Gross. Do his voice. Do his voice. Oh, Madison Hildebrand.

Goddamn joy. Um, okay. So what else happened in St. Barts? Because we have much to discuss, but I feel like there were a few other moments. Oh, God. They made up about the couple dinner. Then they had manis and pedis. Oh, then Sonia and Ramona got belligerent and ridiculously wasted.

They decided not to go. I mean, part of this whole trip was truly to go see Carol's boyfriend, Russ, in concert at some lame jazz fest for old ladies. Right.

You know, that gets old ladies hard. Jazz and red wine and they... Flying into the moon. Thank you. It's the only squirt they've had in years. In years, right?

Except for maybe Dr. Phil. They sure change the radio a lot. Oh my God. Oops, sorry. So the two women just skipped out on that. Was that like incredibly rude? Part of me was like it was totally expected. It was totally rude.

But expected. Because they were like, oh, we'll see you in just a second. Yeah, we're on our way. Right behind you. And then they just went home and didn't say anything. Yeah, it was totally rude. But it was also a blessing. I mean, you really want those

crazy bitches exactly now granted they would have had some screen time at the concert which is i'm sure what she was going for to get her boyfriend some screen time and there was none of yes it's like they're probably just bored heather was probably off in the bathroom talking on the cell phone ordering zippers you know i mean what else women do luann's probably pretending she knows people she doesn't know. No, she's probably like, I'll be right back. Like talking to a fucking post in the... Right. And then grabbing a post and going, you know, he looked like Johnny Depp.

He really looked like Johnny Depp. I didn't fuck him. I just showed his entire family around the concert venue. Anywho, so the women after Russ's concert End up back at the house It's their last night in town And, you know, we did have another massive blow up Because Aviva and Sonia went at it

Oh, yes, I thought you were going to go to the skinny dipping party I'm not even at the skinny dipping Because there was another major fight Well, that's Sonia sitting there flirting with the chef And just embarrassing her damn self. And of course the chef is like, not going to turn away a free ham sandwich. So he's like, I meet you after, Indy.

I meet you after in the alley or whatever. Aviva's just standing there watching the whole thing with her judgmental eyes. She is such a judgmental monster. So here's the thing. Someone's having sex. Right. Okay, so did it my note was clearly aviva does not have sex because she's sitting around going like how would you girls

why do you girls want to have girls time why do you want to have fun with each other why do you want to go out to restaurants get drunk together dance on tables and sleep with hot men like and you know what do you do like i'm sorry did you bring the cards because i left them at home bitch i mean my whole thing is i hate ramona and sonia with all of my being but if i go on vacation i want to sleep around drink dance on a table and act like a fucking idiot because guess what i don't get to do that at the office yeah i mean sometimes i do but i don't care if people if i'm on vacation and other people are you know fucking going crazy and i'm not i don't care that's the thing ramona is like well

you're not doing it the right way they're all horrible horrible nitpicky evil women they're all horrible but that fight was wonderful with aviva telling off sona and, you know, calling her a double dealer. And then Sonya going, well, return to sender. Oh, God. That whole, everything that came out of Sonya's mouth was just wonderful. My mouth is money, okay? My mouth is money.

You can cash these checks. What comes out of my mouth is gold, okay? What are you talking about? I'm sure what goes into your mouth eventually gets you some gold but well it i mean and then caught to the confessional and it's aviva going well you know i'm really worried about sonja because she's clearly like anna nicole smith on a downward spiral they're just they're the same person she married a really old rich man for his money and then he died or and you know in her case he left her and now it's just a drunken sex spiral out of control

on the way to death that's what aviva keeps saying and it's kind of like you that is almost the worst thing you could say it doesn't get much worse than that it is she's gonna be presenting with rust at the fucking dead housewives awards they're gonna be like the first co-hosts oh god but it's true i mean what she's saying is true i mean sonia is a fucking car wreck and i think if it weren't for this show she'd be dead or she'd be living in yonkers or something i know that's horrible to say but that woman doesn't know how to take care of herself she's a damn fool no and aviva even brings up how do you your daughter must be so embarrassed to have you as a mother i mean again you know i'm not one of these people who to take care of herself. She's a damn fool. No, and Aviva even brings up how do you, your daughter must be

so embarrassed to have you as a mother. I mean, again, you know, I'm not one of these people who sits around going, yeah, the children are off limits.

I'm like, if you're on fucking reality TV and it's called Housewives, that's implying that there are children in the mix too. And, you know, I kind of love it

when they go after each other's children's and mothering skills. Yeah, I do too. That's like, that's the lowest you can go in the show and Aviva has no fucking shame. Yeah, I do too. Well, it, that's the lowest you can go in the show and Aviva has no fucking shame.

Yeah, I do too. Well, it's like what Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith, they're like, I don't want you talking about our children. Then stop putting your fucking talented children

in horrible movies. How about that? Yeah. I don't want her hair to whip back and forth. Nobody fucking wanted that. You put her there. I got a forward

from my little cousin about some little Jada Pinkett-Smith song. Fuck off. She's intruding on my life. I can a forward from my little cousin about some little Jada Pinkett Smith song. Fuck off. She's intruding on my life. I can say whatever I want about her. Terrible mother.

Okay, before we move to Jersey, though, at the end of the episode, for some reason, alcohol brought all the women together and they all ended up skinny dipping.

I mean, some of them ended up skinny dipping and by some of them I mean Sonia's breast growth control. I mean, Sonia, who got all her bruises because she was in the garden with johnny debt and and not even trying to like again i'm not sitting here judging her but

she's a 50 year old woman on tv going yeah a dirty french man who just fucked my co-star the night before stuck his dirty peen in me in the garden and i have bruises all over my body because he roughed me up but i like it like that that's what she just said after we just heard that she got butt raped in the pool so it's like she can't even tell the truth about that my god even in the garden you were in the pool house what are you talking about was the best confessional ever not carol going i don't know if i can say this but um that was butt fucking i mean i was dying when she said that i love carol yeah i think i can't believe how much we changed by the end of the season because at first we were like this is gonna fail they're all horrible

they're gonna start all over and then jill zarin came on just rolling around in the mud and we were like they should bring jill back whereas we miss alex and to be honest after saint bart's i don't i don't really miss alex i don't miss cindy obviously um aviva brought it aviva delivered and as much as i hate her it stirred the fucking pot and it secured them all another season in my opinion i think so too anyway hey here's to the next season and now we're gonna have what 30 reunions oh well that one started after jersey right so they've still got yeah we still have i think about four or five episodes of new york to go i mean again five episodes in they had to retool the entire season so right now they're

just scraping all the shit off the cutting room floor. And if anybody screams about something, new episode. We might get 28 episodes this season. But with New York, we still do have four to five episodes. But Jersey is winding down. Next week we do have the part one season finale. I'm already nervous that the finale is going to have three parts. And then the reunion is going to have seven parts. So we really still might have ten hours and then a blooper reel.

So eleven hours of Jersey. But this past week was the penultimate episode. A lot didn't happen. Comparing Jersey right now to New York is like apples and oranges. New York is fucking killing it. Jersey is still the Caroline show, sitting

around, whining and crying and being a stupid lazy cow cow I'm wondering what section of America is loving Caroline Manzo like why is Andy why is Bravo kissing that woman's ass and making all her kids rich and famous and I don't get it when was she was I didn't watch the first season so what did you lie and just tell No, I got into Housewives way later. I got into it when DC was on. Wait, you don't even know the original, like, Vicky, Gina, OC ladies? Oh, OC I've seen.

Okay. Because I went back and watched OC from the beginning. Okay, because you can buy those DVDs at Target. Jersey I didn't. Okay. And so I. those dvds at target okay um and so you don't you don't understand that where along the line caroline's family all became paid cast members and why bravo seems to be obsessed with that family every clip i'd seen of caroline when they would be like oh the housewives of jersey or whatever

and they would show caroline i thought she looked like someone playing nurse ratchet in the community theater production of one flew over the cuckoo's nest you know like no doubt hudgy sad faced evil just broken bitter bitter manly woman yeah you know like she got a sex change in her 20s when it was you know a revolution and now she's like where's my dick like she's just always gonna be mad about it where's my where's my dick so i've never understood it you know right well clearly she and theresa are the faces of the franchise i mean it's the smallest cast out of all of the housewives but the two of them need to be there they are arch nemeses um but this episode we saw Caroline, you know, try to resurrect her lame-o, um, you know, voiceover, not voiceover, excuse me, um, radio career. Clearly, she's too big of a star for the Jersey Network, so she had to move on to Sirius Satellite Radio. Yeah, that one episode that she did.

Yeah. Oh, someone from Sirius heard and offered me a deal. Um, yeah, Sirius, um, needed some promotion and, you know, paid Bravo to have the cameras come over to the office. We know how it works, people. You're not fucking fooling any of us. I love how Caroline's like, well, you know, Sirius, they're a huge radio station. Millions of people listen. Millions of people listen.

It's not a radio station, you fucking moron. Well, you can't expect too much out of her. But I love how she also prefaces it with they have millions of listeners and subscribers well guess what in general they do but they're all listening to howard stern and martha stewart they're not fucking listening to the caroline manzo show proof in the fact that they had two callers that only wanted to find out the dirt between caroline and dina manzo yeah but car call. Every call. That's all it was. That's why we really didn't see a lot

because clearly Caroline did not want to talk about Dina and how the fact that her sister hates her probably for numerous good reasons. But Caroline trots out that whole goddamn family who have nothing to say. Her fucking lazy ass husband's

falling asleep in a chair. Her children are fucking boring. And you know that all... It's just like it is on the show. Oh, I hate that family. It's like, let's bring my whole family on the show. Everybody's going to be so boring and you know that all like it is on the show oh i hate that family let's bring my whole family on the show everybody's gonna be so entertained and you see them and it's like they don't do anything like they'll occasionally make a fart joke but they just kind of laugh at each other and eat a lot yeah they're blobs and they just want to go home

and play throw the ham game they're boring throw the ham oh throw the ham throw the ham like they love they love they love a sliced deli meat in that household. Yeah, Caroline just pisses me off. And I mean, this week, again, very boring. We had a lot of one-on-one moments where Melissa would come over to Caroline's house and go, Are you guys really never going to make up? And then Melissa would go over to Jacqueline's house and they would have some scones and, you know, our banana bread. And they would go, Are you guys, were you really sleeping? It's like, Melissa has no point.

Caroline is a sad sack. Jacqueline should have never been on the show this season. So can we just dump them all and move forward with Teresa? Well, actually, we've got some good gossip this week. Cookster, who's one of our listeners, sent me a link to that blog, Fame Horgas. Oh, I read this when he sent it earlier this week. Yeah, so did you see that?

Yes. I've been off my Twitter lately. But this is all about the timeline of Jersey and how fake this episode was with all this Melissa going from, you know, oh, I'm going to go stand up for Caroline. I'm going to go stand up to Caroline for Teresa because I'm really behind her. And I'm going to go, she that was all a lie and that was all taped way after she stopped talking to theresa after this fashion show we see next week they do this fashion show melissa is outed

as a stripper they all blame theresa for outing her as which we'll talk about next week but they all out uh theresa for outing melissa as a stripper. Teresa insists she didn't do it. The next day is the reunion. Jackie doesn't show up at the reunion, but snipes through Twitter at Teresa the whole time. And then no one has spoken to Teresa since then. In a year. And it's been a year. It feels just really, it's really weird to see this unfold right now because I feel out of all of the franchises,

I know that Jersey did kind of go back to back and kind of start that process. But it still now feels incredibly dated because we read all of this gossip on these blogs and it's like, what's happened since? They have not filmed another season. I don't know when they're going back into production. I don't know who's going to be on the cast anymore. I kind of have a feeling nothing's going to change. But then that makes me really concerned because at this point, Caroline really is one of those people who, when she says she's done,

she's done. She wants the fucking paycheck and she wants all of her family members to be stars and she needs to launch cat face, but fat face, fat face. But if Caroline and Teresa are not even going to tape with each other, where does this show go? I don't know.

They always find some new depth to sink to so i'm sure that won't be a problem well let's just keep this keeps sinking but i think it's really interesting that they really went out of their way to set it up even though we can obviously it can be pieced together so obviously that this is all a huge fucking lie and they're setting it up to look like melissa's being so nice when she wasn't at all. No, I mean, she still... Like, none of this stuff is true. Right. She clearly still hates Teresa.

There is still bad blood. I do believe that some of the things she does do is because she wants her husband, you know, to get along with his sister. But at the end of the day, she can take those little girls from Manny Petty's all she fucking wants and she can love those children. She and Teresa are not friends and they're not going to be friends. Yeah. They hate each other. Yeah. And they should. I mean, they're not gonna be friends. Yeah. They hate each other.

Yeah. And they should. I mean, they're both horrible. They're horrible people. So, I mean... They both agree with me. I hate them both. Did anything else happen

during this episode? I feel like it was so boring. Kathy took her daughter to see college and Rich, you know, is like the all-American dad. But slash a pervert who was making gross jokes

with like the campus tour ladies. Yeah, that was gross. Yeah, Kathy, I really feel the worst for Kathy. But I'm also the most tricked by Kathy because I know she's a flaming C-word. I just know it. Really? Yeah, because all this stuff she drops,

like especially that big fight about the cookbook with Teresa. Her passive-aggressive from Mark's sting. Yeah, where she's like, oh, my mother's, my mother's recipe. Oh, another one of my mother's recipe. And then she's like, what? What'd I do? Right, and she wraps it in, like, a nice happy cannoli, and everyone is supposed to sit back and go, she's a sweetheart.

What are you talking about? And she's coming out with a cookbook to compete with Teresa's cookbook. And you're like, oh, wait, that bitch just stabbed me straight. Teresa is, okay, look. I don't want to say that I am Team Teresa. Because as long as she is with Joe Giudice, who is the nastiest, most vile person on the face of the earth, I cannot be on Team Teresa. But like you said, Ronnie, I do think that week by week, with Teresa being in a corner by herself against all these other women,

week by week with Teresa being in a corner by herself against all these other women and seeing the way that like a sweet person like Kathy can just stab her in the face with these remarks I see how that builds Teresa's fan base yeah I really see that happening also Kathy okay when Kathy is on her own she gives me nothing I've got to watch her fucking kids her dead fish-eyed kids go to college I don't care about your kids. I don't care about them going to college. I don't care about your sex life with your nasty husband. Get into a fight with somebody or get the fuck off my TV. You get Teresa on her own and she's like, listen, she hurted me.

Okay? Hurted me. She hurted me. And once you stab, I said it was forgiven. Okay, I said it was forgiven. But if you stab somebody, you can't just say you're sorry. Because they did. You killed them.

Okay, that's why I'm on Teresa's side. Because that was fucking amazing. It's true. Teresa just needs a camera and her fucking crazy self. And we could have endless episodes, endless entertainment. Because she's mildly retarded. And hilarious. And and evil and crazy. And it's just like, you just put her in front of a camera and let her go.

But you're right. Kathy needs... Yeah, Teresa, you just need to sit down with the camera and be like, what do you think about the glass ceiling in America for women? Right. And just let her go. Just let her go. Whereas Kathy, and I'm even getting to the point where I feel like Melissa, if she doesn't have other people there with her interacting with her, there's no point.

I understand that Melissa and Kathy were a package deal because they needed to keep Teresa on the show. And in order to keep Teresa there, they needed to bring in some more drama. And a family connection is the greatest way to do that. There is no denying that last season's season opener at that christening was the greatest fucking show ever for Real Housewives of New Jersey and that is partially due to... Well, that was their real colors too. That was their real colors. All of them.

But that was also the introduction. We haven't seen those two. We haven't seen Joe and his sister act like that. Right, but that was the introduction of Melissa and Kathy and it was great that they were there. This season has kind of been a dud. What,

what do we have to look forward to? You know, we have this fashion show next week. Thank God they're trolling. Good. Well, they're going to bring out Kim D with her crazy fucking extensions and her new face job,

which is going to be amazing because she really does look like the wicked witch. She does. Um, she's going to stir the pot and so will this guy. I really don't think all the blame should be placed on Teresa. Clearly in the previews you see this man who clearly used to run a club where Melissa was a stripper. Look, just admit it, bitch.

Every housewife is a stripper. Every housewife but Caroline has been a stripper. Yeah. So he's stirring the pot. And God, you know, thank God. Thank God. It's true. So he's stirring the pot. so he's stirring the pot you know thank thank god thank god it's true um so he's stirring the pot kim d stirring the pot the rest of them i think are just going to be sitting around i don't know why we need to have five more episodes what are we going to have unveiled in a multi-part finale and then a multi-part uh reunion what the fuck's gonna

happen screaming they're just gonna scream at other. I predict that the future will be Caroline is... I'm never right when I predict the future. I'm a psychic. You're no Long Island medium? No. I predict that Caroline will be right. Something will happen with Joe and Teresa will get some kind of a spin-off or some kind of

she'll be put somewhere else still on Bravo. And Melissa's sisters will be brought in those horrible witchy bitch sisters those girls are the worst or maybe they'll just be brought in and Jackie will leave but I think those sisters are going to come back in because this year those bitches have showed up a couple times it wasn't like last year where they were in every scene with Melissa but Melissa has no one to talk to it's true she's too young to hang out with Kathy she hates Teresa she's going to be one to talk to. It's true. She's too young to hang out with Kathy.

She hates Teresa. She's going to be one of those mothers that she's going to end up being best friends with her daughter. And her daughter is, you know, only six or seven years old. But it's going to be some, like, fucked up relationship where they are besties.

Or she's going to go, she's going to start going on little tours, like, to little towns. And she'll be gone a lot. And it'll cause a strain on their relationship. And she'll be hanging out with, like to little towns, and she'll be gone a lot, and it'll cause a strain on their relationship, and she'll be hanging out with like her roadies and like doing roadies. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound

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death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. think about when they hear the words black history rosa parks reconstruction mlk february

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Black is beautiful. You're suggesting by doing roadies that she's going to have new music that's going to be performed in venues. She's still tweeting like, oh, come to the mall and buy my album. I mean, I know it's just the mall and it's like a single that she's selling for $10. It's a cuss single. Yeah. It's like a new track.

It's not even a maxi CD. It's a cuss single. No, she's just tragic. And I just, you know, last season was so good. I am disappointed now. Perhaps it's because my love of the St. Bart's drama on New York is skewing my whole feeling here. It's just this family drama. It's the same fight they were having last year.

It's the same thing. I mean, they're still fighting about sugar cookies being thrown in the trash, basically. That's still the fight. It is. It is. So fuck that show. So next week we'll at least get to... That's not me farting, okay?

We're sitting on a leather couch, everybody. Before you start judging me okay well neither of us watched um this week's flipping out i know all of you out there you can slap us when you see us in person um maybe we like it maybe we like it we like it rough um yeah we will catch up on flipping out by next week no doubt about that i kind of hate the entire cat i mean i don't like the boyfriend creeps me out he grosses me out gage you know the boyfriend i just feel bad for him because like you just know how much shit he takes well it cannot do you think jeff gives it oh gross i didn't mean like that yes you did that sounds sexy how much shit he takes

oh never mind i didn't i didn't mean it to sound like that um anyway I just you know the blonde girl is gone trace is gone it's just I didn't like I didn't see the episode last year where he fired that kid oh yeah I told him he was well I think it was pretty much well I think it was the kid didn't want to sleep with Jeff Lewis therefore you're fired I mean that was obvious right no gross do you think Jeff has a working wiener I don't think he does you think he's like therefore you're fired. I mean, that was obvious, right? No. Gross. Do you think Jeff has a working wiener? I don't think he does. You think he's like a Ken doll?

I do. I think that he's just, I think that's why he's so mean and horrible. Because he hasn't gotten laid? Yeah, I don't get a sexual vibe off him. Do you? No, and not with those lips either. I get more of a sexual vibe off Jenny.

I think that she's probably a jackrabbit in bed. Probably, yeah. Yeah, I like Jenny. Anyway think that she's probably a jackrabbit in bed. Probably, yeah. I like Jenny. Anyway, we didn't watch Flipping Out this week. We will have tuned in and caught up on that by next week, but we will finish up tonight with our favorite new show. Gallery Girls! Gallery Girls. The Mott Guy. The show that I thought

was going to make me kill myself. I'm still here. Me too. And I still like the Upper East Side was going to make me kill myself. I'm still here. Me too. I'm still here. Me too. And I still like the Upper East Side girls more than those dumb Brooklyn monsters. I like them all. I still like all the girls on the show.

Really? I do. I really do. Okay, well, let's start with Angela, who had an amazing art show this week. After being a complete, horrible whore of a bitch to her friend last week for not getting a menu properly put together. He ends up getting it together. She has an art show. All of her stuff looks like fucking hipstamatic prints that I take on my goddamn iPhone.

Why is this bitch special? Why are you saying it's so great? No, it's not great. I have all those pictures already on my phone. Well, it kind of was explained, at least how she works, because what's bothered me about this whole thing is she's like okay get me a venue i'm where i'm gonna have the show and why don't you get the venue that's your job it's all that you're supposed to do you're supposed to be a promoting man she goes off on her whole thing and then he's like have you even taken your pictures and she's like no so then she just goes to donut shops and starts taking

pictures of sad old ladies eating donuts. And then prints that shit out all night long. And then like, yeah. And then went and printed it out and put it up as a show. I mean, come on. At least pretend you're making it up. She's clearly just winging it. All she wants to do is put on a gauzy

top so that her little nipples peek through. She doesn't even care about the art. She doesn't take any pictures that are even original. A girl with stringy hair was her most popular picture. And then it made it sound like somebody was going to buy it. Nobody fucking bought that shit. Yeah, and that wasn't even the thing.

She didn't say, are you going to buy it? She said, would you, so you would consider buying that? Like if you were going to buy something? And he's like, yeah, I would consider it if I was going to. But I left my wallet at home tonight. We've all played that game. That's all I needed. And then in her testimonial or diary room or whatever, she's like,

I don't know. Maybe I'll be a photographer next week. Maybe I'll be like a writer instead. I'm just a flake. It's like, ugh, God. I wish you would have said that in the beginning. Well, she's also not 20. She's too old for this bullshit. Is she? How old is she? She's probably like 28.

She's probably 90 years old. She's probably 90. That fucking Vera Wang is 400. Looks great too. I hate her. She does. Anyway, I hate,

I kind of hate Angela more than Chantal, dare I say. So Chantal is the one with the gay boyfriend, Spencer. Okay, yeah. I still don't know all their names. Isn't that terrible? the gay boyfriend, Spencer. Okay, yeah. I still don't know all their names.

Isn't that terrible? I've seen every episode. No, it's not. I'm terrible for knowing their names. I make them in my head, you know. So Chantal would be red lipstick on teeth gay boyfriend. Yeah, lipstick on teeth. Yeah.

Anyway, she didn't do too much this episode except for continue to berate her business partner Claudia for not selling a goddamn piece of art. Rightfully so, I say. Well, okay, so The only one who sold anything is lipstick on teeth.

Lipstick? That other girl has not done anything. She's not sold any art. And even this show, they brought in the Suck Lord from another Bravo show.

It's like work of art. I mean, how tragic was that? That was so sad. And you know what's extra sad? A few weeks ago, work of art was canceled. We're that so sad and you know what's extra sad a few weeks ago work of art was canceled we're not even getting get another episode but on gallery girls we've seen suck lord and we've seen simon dupier he and guess what there's no more fucking work of

art so who cares they're like oh it was serious look what we produced out of that the suck lord he takes bounty or bounty's not toilet paper is is it? He takes Charmin toilet paper and rewraps it and calls it Ass Eater or whatever the hell it was. What was it? It's like, suck my ass. Yeah. I'm not buying that for $25 a roll. No, not going to happen. No.

Anyway, pure tragicness, but nothing is more tragic than sad Amy. Man, poor Amy. I say that at least five times an episode. Right, and you're watching by yourself, and you're just like sighing, and you really feel for this girl, don't you? I kind of do, because I feel like she's just at a disadvantage.

She's not as pretty. She got a really bad nose job at a young age. She was obviously raised by horrible, horrible parents. Right, whose interior decorating style is the Monte Carlo in Vegas. Yeah. And I feel like they're the only... It's kind of like the Aviva thing. I feel like she was born with a disability.

And her disability is that she has the face from the mom of that 70s show. And she probably had that face when she was five years old. And she's got that kind of Mark Simpson sister tone to her voice. And I think that she had that disability growing up. And her parents told her how gorgeous she was. And that poor little idiot, like,

they filled her with so much self-confidence that she became an asshole without a right to become an asshole. That's true. But would you have gone to that asshole's dinner party? Because everybody... Yeah. Because she has a cute brother. I mean, somehow the genes work for him. Are you kidding? I think he's cute. He looks like a

frat boy rapist. I like that. Oh, that's your thing? Yeah. Ronnie's fetish. Frat boy racist. I like that. Frat boy racist. I meant frat boy rapists. Yeah, I kind of like that. I thought he was hot. And he makes food. Take back the night.

Where's my blue light? The campus blue light. Amy has a party and it's basically a cast party that she also invites all of her other friends to. Her school friends. And her, and Liz who pretty much said that you're a tragic, sad bitch the week before. But no,

Amy is going to be the bigger person and still invite the woman who hates her and set it to her face. I week before. But no, Amy is going to be the bigger person and still invite the woman who hates her and said it to her face. I'm going to still invite her because I want to be the bigger person. Look, she hates you. She said she hates you. Yeah. She pretty much said she hates you. Oh, she straight up said that.

If there were cars being driven, she would have run you over. Oh, no doubt. Just don't invite her. Why are you doing that to yourself? And then, of course, Liz doesn't even bother to answer. No, she doesn't even bother to no she doesn't even bother to rsvp whereas chantal calls and says oh i think i'm coming down with the fever i can't i can't sweetie but i'll talk to you soon bye 10 seconds later lips to conti

oh my god claudia i'm sick i can't come either so angela shows up who cares nobody cares maggie shows up with her boyfriend got away with some fucking silverware too she told okay she totally did but you sound like an expert not inviting you to my house i'm not a poor person invited to parties occasionally um and then so maggie did show up which was kind of a surprise um i didn't think that she went anywhere near broken glass. But the Upper East Side is fine. But I would assume that, you know... Maggie's... Isn't Maggie the one

with the big, tall, douchebag boyfriend that works for Eli? Doesn't she live on the Upper East Side? Well, I feel like she lives somewhere in the middle. She was scared to go to Brooklyn for the broken glass. Excuse me. Yeah, that was the idiot who was afraid to get off at the Bedford stop, which is where I lived in Brooklyn. And that is like... for brooklyn that's like the disneyland of brooklyn right okay so she's not scared to go to um sad amy's house i guess i was just surprised that

she went to sad amy's house because in all of the confessionals she's the one that that gives it real she's the one who's there going um what is this girl's problem she has serious problems i don't want to be around her i don't want to know her and she goes to her party yeah but did she think it was a cast invite so yeah you know they have to go to each other's things i think this was probably just like liz thinks that she's the hottest shit and she she said fuck this i'm not going yeah yeah i think liz is like whatever you're not gonna fire me because i have daddy issues and that will be explored next season issues and i'm a bitch Yeah. I think Liz is like, whatever, you're not going to fire me. Because I have daddy issues and that will be explored next season. I have daddy issues and I'm a bitch.

Like every Bravo show needs a bitch. She's not stupid. That's true. Also this episode we did see Maggie and her ginormous boyfriend go visit her mom in Pennsylvania. We did learn that Maggie, who we thought was super rich, that just her father's side of the family is super rich, where her mother lives a very humble life in Easton pennsylvania yeah yeah who cares and doesn't support her stupid fake art career watching maggie go in and look at art was hilarious oh my god she's like uh and when she said who's your favorite artist and her answer was banksy i was like oh my god okay go

apply at the fucking le cirque and tell them your favorite restaurant is mcdonald's bitch right i mean you might as well because clearly that bitch who knows nothing about art i'm she's listening right now and i'm feeling so guilty maggie sorry maggie you're so like we love you we love you but clearly like i like how you curl your hair and you stop playing with your hair so yay no and but i miss the baby voice so charming let's let's start with some positive things i like that she's maggie is no longer pulling her hair because i was worried about that okay i love seeing that she's stable that she loves her mom and that she actually does love her big douchebag of a boyfriend i think that's very yeah they're cute they support each other

i love maggie's personality is exactly like the time to make the donuts guy from the Dunkin' Donuts commercial. Time to make the donuts. She does the delivery. I mean at least she's consistent. Yeah. With her delivery. But man it's hard not to make fun of these girls when the show is about being art experts. And then clearly the night before her interview she was like

maybe I should Netflix on demand that documentary about Banksy. Yeah. It's like most popular artist or artist and Banksy interview she was like maybe i should netflix on demand that documentary about banksy yeah it's like most popular artist or artist and banksy came up i mean look she thought it was classier than saying um keith herring i mean that was that was the other go-to and she she rolled the dice and she went banksy yeah it was one or the other yeah you know the mona lisa with a fucking bazooka or whatever that's that's fun and it's it's a really good thing to put on the back of my MacBook. In 2009, when that shit was popular and it was all over the streets of Melrose.

But then I was thinking, did they maybe do this back then? Has this shit been sitting on the shelf that long? Yeah, maybe they just got desperate. Maybe they got desperate, and after Misadvised Tanked, they were like, like shit we gotta fill the spot yeah maybe maggie is like a stockbroker by now maybe she is seven years old i'm you know my fingers are crossed for her i actually like her but watching her go on that job interview was kind of the most painful thing i've seen in years that was painful and then she talks to this

woman who owns her own gallery and she's like darling what do you think that this painting's made out of and she's like uh it, what do you think that this painting's made out of? And she's like, uh, it's obviously fucking paper. Just say paper. It's obviously paper. You don't have to guess

adding machine paper, but at least don't just stare at it. She's just staring at it and the lady's like, well, it's adding machine paper and it looks like a vagina.

Okay, and I've never seen a vagina, touched a vagina, gotten intimate with a vagina, and Maggie was like, I don't see a vagina. I'm like, clearly you don't play with yourself. You don't have a hand mirror.

I feel bad for her. She should know her body. It was pretty obviously a vagina. It was a big, pulsating red vagina on a wall. I mean, obvious, obvious. Pulsating. That would have been awesome if it was pulsating. Did anything else happen? The best thing that happened is, obvious, obvious. Pulsating. That would have been awesome if it was pulsating. Did anything else happen?

The best thing that happened is, okay, this show has really made us feel sorry for Amy because the girl is just, and you know, we were just nice to Maggie, so I'd like to say in case you're listening too, Amy, I'm sorry for things I say. Like, I don't think you're ugly. I think it's just that they put you with these fucking skinny model looking girls and you're probably the only real one who wants a job in art anyway. I don't think

the other girls do. This girl's the only one like scratching her way up the ladder. The other girls are like, eh. Carrie is a stripper by night. Carrie is a fucking stripper. Everybody knows it. Yeah, I'm not, let's be honest, she's not even a stripper. She's a prostitute. Yeah. That's why she's always busy and She's not even a stripper. She's a prostitute. That's why she's always busy and always has a pocket full of cash.

She is a prostitute. That apartment. No one has that apartment. Look at Amy's apartment. She's got rich parents. And that apartment looks like an old lady's... It's horrible. It looks like a sad old lady dying alone in there. Which probably will be.

Love you if you're listening. But the best part of the entire episode was clearly when um amy decided to meet up with carrie and all of a sudden amy in in a weird way i kind of understood where amy was coming from when she was like i've been here longer i'm trying to do the right thing by delegating because you know i'm not just trying to pass the buck but i am trying to show maybe my boss that you know i'm actually doing something besides sitting behind a desk and filing my nails so i'm going to delegate however carrie was not having that and was clearly like oh time to stir the pot so she goes to their boss i believe you're on amy's side i'm not well i don't girl i don't like Carrie. Oh my god. I don't like Carrie.

I don't either. Anyway, is Amy going to get fired because Carrie told on her and I think that, I also think that the boss wants Amy to be the punching bag. She does, yeah. Well, she's got all these people willing to work for her for free and she has no respect for these people. Especially Amy because Amy was doing it before there were cameras. these people especially amy because amy was doing it before there were cameras well carrie's just some whore they're doing it because there's cameras

and so i think she gets more respect from the boss because the boss is like oh you were actually cast on a show good for you right because you don't really want to do this right yeah like you're an actress you're something this bitch is just working for free just because. For the past five years. Like, how sad is she? And so Amy gets, again, gets no respect. But still, she should know better. Especially after showing up late. She's never on time anywhere.

It's not like she's doing a very good job at work. And then she makes the excuse of, it's impossible to get here from the Upper East Side. Like, you are not doing yourself any favors. You snotty bitch. You snotty, snot bitch. Yeah, you are not doing yourself any favors. You snotty bitch. You snotty, snot bitch. Yeah, you should know by now that artists downtown are not going to feel bad for you because you live on the Upper East Side.

Well, and you can't tell me that her boss doesn't fucking live in a nicer place on the Upper East Side than her, and she got her ass there? Mm-hmm. With those hideous green earrings and a dead animal furry shaggy coat? Yeah, she's out. And I just wonder where poor amy's gonna go i mean is she gonna be at eli's well i don't even think eli would hate fucker he might she's in love with him really you're gonna eat the couch right now he's gonna eat the couch right now dog you're so

cute but stop no really jesus what do you amy what do you amy oh my god his head is cocked and he's now kind of going look how cute he is so cute but oh oh bueller good boy good boy don't eat the couch oh so bueller do you think amy's gonna get fired he looks sad amy he looks sad oh oh he just put his head down amy is a goner we're gonna you're out, boo. We're going to start using Bueller as like our psychic predictions. Yeah, Bueller's our little emotional cute psychic. Yeah, it's like the, don't they have like a squid that predicts the Super Bowl that like

swims to one side and picks a team? I don't know. I'm not that kind of a gay. You and Ben are those gays. I don't do that football crap. Okay, you're missing out. No, you're not. Anyway, okay, so next week the girls from, from Gallery Girls, from Brooklyn, and from the Upper

East Side are all gonna descend upon Miami for the global sensation known as Miami Art Week. Are they really? Is that what's happening next week? I believe that's what's happening. Oh my god. So Amy has to go there and fuck up and get fired in Miami, because it'd be more fun for her to get fired in South Beach wearing, like, a really ugly one piece piece because you know she doesn't wear a two piece.

Well, what do you think Miami art's going to be like? Do you remember on Real Housewives of Miami when they had the fashion show? Oh, yes. They had fashion week and it was like fluorescent bikinis. Well, that's the thing. It's like L.A. Holding the tits together. Yeah, L.A. and Miami now think that they can do fashion weeks and film festivals

the way like that New York and Milan and Toronto and London do. They can't. So an art show in Miami It's going to be like

pinatas lined up. As long as Mama Elsa is there with a cocktail in hand. I mean, that's all that really matters. But I actually think it's going to be

Art in Miami. I love to look at the art in Miami. I actually think it's going to be I love to look at the art in Miami I actually think it's probably just going to be like fluorescent Banksy knockoffs yeah probably because what is hot in New York two years later is hot in Miami and then you put a fluorescent spin on it with a pinata in the background

boom gun maybe a dolphin jumping over something dolphin jumping over a wave like biting something's scar face. Totally. Yeah. All right. Well, I think we just did it.

We just made it to an hour, everybody. That was an hour? Yeah. And we didn't have Ben here talking over us? Oh, snap. Oh, man. It's been like a nice vacation. This was one of the chillest podcasts I think we've ever done.

It was chill. I don't think that you gave us enough Carol. Yeah, I'm just much calmer. I think because we're actually in the same room. We're not on the phone, so I'm not like picking at my back zits or like cleaning up my ears or biting my nails or biting my toenails while we do this. Oh my God, I'm learning so much. Cleaning my kitchen.

I am learning so much. Now I'm like having to sit here and behave and be polite. Oh, boo. I'm learning so much. Cleaning my kitchen. I am learning so much. Now I'm having to sit here and behave and be polite. Oh, boo. I don't like that. I don't know if our viewers or our fans are going to like that because you didn't give us enough Carol. You didn't give us enough Madison Hildebrand. That's what they want, Ronnie.

They want the impressions. Well, last week I was in a really terrible mood. I was really bitter last week. Because I wasn't on the show? And didn't say anything. Yeah, because you weren't here. And the audio was terrible. And the show was here, who was wonderful.

She's hilarious. But I think she's so funny that I just listen. I don't really say much. I'm just like, I'll talk more. Because we're fans and we could just sit back and watch the Michelle show. Yeah. Which she should have. I did.

I pretty much did. But anything I did say was horrible. I was in a terrible mood. And then I went to the doctor and got some Zoloft. And so I'm clearing up a bit now. Can I borrow some before I... And I'm very calm now. I mean, what can I say? What will Zoloft do for me? What clearing up a bit now. Can I borrow some before I... And I'm very calm now. I mean, what can I say?

What will Zoloft do for me? What? What will it do for me if I took one? Well, it'll kill your penis. I mean, the first thing it did was come out with a bazooka and shoot me in the penis. Okay, well, I just rejoined Match and OkCupid, as all of our listeners know.

I'm not ready to lose my penis right now. No, you're thin and you're fucking. Why do you need Zoloft? I mean, maybe we could mash it up and you could snort some. I really want to see what that would be like. Would you do it? I would do it, but only if Ben would do it. Oh my god, I would love it if you do it. I feel like Ben wouldn't do it.

If we got him drunk first, maybe. I'm a good friend. I'll mix the alcohol. Just leave the Visine at home. Leave the Visine at home. We're getting to the weekend. And while you guys are at it, if you are in need of any sexual products out there. Oh, no, no. Actually, we don't have to do Adam Mill this week.

But. Well, I was just going to say, I did go to Adam Mill and I used the promo code. Yeah. Why not? You did? What did you get? I'm not going to say. Oh, my God.

Was it Shaved Like a Dragon? No, I did not buy that dragon product. Was it Shaved Like a Rocking Chair? No, stop. No. Some of the things. say oh my god was it shaped like a dragon no i did not buy that dragon was it shaped like a rocking chair no stop no some of the things i can't you know like i'm turning red thinking you know what it is probably not good for us to podcast in the same room because now i am sweating and turning red and feeling really embarrassed when i'm at home on skype it's it's not a problem now it's a problem, if you guys feel like masturbating to some male gay porn, go to the

Adam Mail website and use checkout code BRVO. May as well do it. B-R-A-V-O. Oh, is it? Yes. So, bravo. And then you can find me at TVgasm. You can find Matt at Life on the M-List. You can find us all at WhatCrapInns.

We'll even toss it to Ben. We'll even say where Ben is. You can find Ben at B-Side Blog, which you guys probably already know. And tweet us and tell us what you guys want to talk about

and stuff. Yeah, and definitely, again, I live for an iTunes review, people. I live for it. It really makes my day. Yeah, thanks so much for doing those, you guys. Yes.

It's good to hear back because we just talk and have fun and then figure no one's listening to this crap so it's really nice to know you're out there we love ya it is it is more tweets please more tweets especially um you know

tweets about uh gallery girls because we feel like we're the only ones watching the show and we need to know that other people are too yeah otherwise we're cutting it from this this program so anyway thank you guys for tuning in this week uh we'll be back next week with fucking Miami.

It's going to be a crazy week for us. We're going to have Miami, we're going to have Jersey, we're going to have New York, and we're going to have Ben back.

It's going to be craziness. So Ben likes to keep these short, but guess what? I think next week we're having a... It can go longer

every time. That's what she said. Anyway, expect a lot from us next week. Thank you guys for tuning in, and we'll talk to you soon. Thank you.

Bye. Bye. Won't you fly me to the moon? expect a lot from us next week thank you guys for tuning in and we'll talk to you soon thank you goodbye won't you fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars let me see what spring is like

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