Watch What Crappens - #3496 McBee Dynasty S03E09: No Land for Old Babies

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

The McBees have a new scheme to save the farm, and spoiler: it’s a puppy mill for miniature cows. The breeding continues as Kacie announces she’s pregnant again, a ranch hand is gonna propose to his gal, and Steven is going to move to Texas against his girlfriend’s wishes. Yikes. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, sign up for our free weekly newsletter and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends a podcast about all that crap on Bravo. We just love to watch and also the McBee Dynasty, which is what is today. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me, as usual, is the wonderful and hilarious. Ronnie, Karam, Ronnie, how are you? Good. How's it going? Everything's going well. I feel like something that we have not really mentioned lately, but we should. is that both of us are going to be in conversation with other people next week or so.

Because you are going on a boat ride of sorts, right, with Hannah. Yeah, I'm doing a dinner cruise with Hannah and Daisy from below deck in San Francisco on August 23rd with city cruises. And you can get information on that in link in bio at either Daisy or Hannah's Instagram. And that's fun. It's selling really well. It should be a really fun night. I've done one with Sheena and Zach and Hannah. And that one was in San Diego. It was so much fun.

Everybody just comes and has dinners and drinks. And then we do a little panel and party with people. Yeah, it sounds like a great time. So if you're in the Bay Area, definitely go check out, check that out. You're in the Bay Area or back down. And if you are back down, if you're in the L.A. area, that very same night. I too, I too shall be in conversation with someone.

I will be in conversation with Martin Sorge, who won one of the great American baking show seasons. And I have been invited to have a conversation with him, courtesy of now serving, which is a local and wonderful cookbook shop here in L.A. And so it's going to be Sunday, August 23rd, at 5 p.m. at friends and family in East Hollywood, which is a great, great bakery, coffee shop, et cetera.

They just do such good things. So come join us. I think it'll be really fun. I'm going to be, he has a new cookbook out called Great Bakes. This is not a commercial. This is just making sure people are there. So definitely go check that out. To find links to that event, I should put it up on my IG.

I'll have it up later. But in the meantime, you just literally search for Martin Sorge, now serving Ben Mandel. Look at, look at, look for now serving. cookbook shop and then they'll have their events calendar on their website but come join we're going to talk about baking and that's super fun how wow we're doing we're doing that the same night and different yeah isn't that funny how that worked out same exact night so yep um well that's going to be good time so we'll see you in both of those respective places okay today is micbee dynasty almost the season finale we're almost there you know i say on a lot of shows

on Bravo that we cover. We don't need this long of a season. This isn't even that long. It's only episode nine. It's time to end it. When your whole episode is about taking a fucking pregnancy test, nobody is shocked that you're pregnant again, okay? Let alone you. Why are you acting shot? Nobody in the world is shocked that you're pregnant again. Congratulations. Do it over there. I don't, it doesn't need to be half an episode. You just had a baby. You're getting pregnant. Is somebody going to get married? Or is somebody, else going to get married? Is somebody else going to get married? You all need to get some hobbies. There are just other things in life. I don't even want to know what their hobbies would be.

We already got a glimpse into it, which is inseminating cows. But they almost timed this perfectly because they had their baby on Friday this past Friday. Their baby's name is Tate. So they got Tate and Blair. They're like, we don't want extra syllables. This is going to be one of the, well, they They have a one syllable other baby, too. Blair. Yeah, so I'm saying, like, what is Blair short for? Blairsabeth? Blair Ella.

Blarella. Bluranderwood. Don't you dare. Now, that's a great Blair. Blair Underwood. Oh, the best. Well, this is pretty cute, too. You know?

Jury's out. They have cute kids and stuff. It's just like, I don't know. It's like, do I need a notification every time another cookie comes out of the Take Cookie Factory? No, they're popping out cookies all the time. It's not news. We know.

When she said, I might be pregnant. I said, you are. What else is going on? Who is Galena going to beat up today? That's all I care about. The show is just dreadful. Let's be honest. It's dreadful.

It's a terrible, terrible, boring show. And you could have made an argument. You could have made an argument last year. Like, no, Ben, like, that's hilarious. like Galina, Galina's attacking chickens. Look, and Gleena did this and look at what Masha did. And oh my God, look,

the Galena drove off the side of the road. Like, you could make an argument that there's some actually, like, fabulous, can't be things that I'm just being too close-minded to appreciate. But you, honestly, you cannot tell me something's happening on this season. Do you realize this entire season has been about packaging beef fat? And now it's about harvesting tiny cows? Like, in some ways, I would like that.

But this show, it's just, It's just a show about stale air, and I'm done with it. Yeah. Well, and now tiny, tiny cows, like you said, a little tiny puppy mill. They're going to have like a puppy, a McBee puppy mill, but with tiny little fluffy cows. And I don't trust them. Who trust them? Don't we have enough problems with, like, puppy mills and illegal breeding and stuff like that without the McBees getting into it?

Do you really want a baby fluffy cow? It's probably going to have a limp, and then it's going to get repossessed. You all know it is. stop it. If you guys are even on this website looking at these stupid tiny cows, stop it because they're probably hunting them, they're probably breeding them for hunting anyway. They're going to be like, buy these tiny cows and then make them run. That's what they do, just get drunk and run after them with guns and shit.

I don't know. I don't trust his family. These idiots, they'll probably, they'll probably accidentally swap Tate and the cow at birth. And then Casey and Cole are going to raise a little Highland cow. And they're like, well, you know, Tate's just a little hairy, but we love her anyway. And it's like, it's a cow. You swapped your baby at birth.

Don't you realize? They'll just never know. The baby comes out. They just put a tallow sticker on its head and put it on the conveyor belt. They've got a bottle in a baby cow's mouth. We're concerned because Tate hasn't talked yet because it's a cow. You have a cow. There's a baby in the corner.

It would have as much charisma and energy as half of this cast, at least. It is shocking. that they put some of these people on TV. It's literally Casey, like staring kind of zoned out at the camera. Like, well, uh-oh, I might have a secret. I might be having another baby. Or the cameraman even there, someone needs to snap their fingers in front of her face or get a clacker or something, you know?

Like scene, clack. We're on, clack. Just a wooden spoon. Just to make sure she's awake in there. Hello? I wonder how many hours they have of just Casey staring at a screen while we hear. How many times has Casey poured fish food on her computer in order to feed her screensaver? I mean, like, how many times this Cole tried to like spear one of the fish, you know, on the screen?

We're in good tonight. Can we, by we can bring those screensavers back? As much as I love an abstract, like, swirly thing, I miss the days of a fish. I want a fish screen saver and I want flying toasters again. Okay. And if you don't know, if you don't understand the reference, that means you're very young. But for those of us. Loan toasters is really classic.

Flying toasters was great. Yeah. But don't we still have fish? I want to look now at screensavers, but I'm afraid of glisting my computer at what we're doing. this but I feel like there are fish. The Apple, you know, I use an Apple computer and so the stupid choices, they're like, we have a 90,000 gigabyte picture and it's gorgeous and we took it in the middle of India at exactly 501 AM at the perfect. And it's gorgeous and everything, but I really, yeah, I would rather a fish swimming. Yeah, I'm looking right now. My options are, I've got landscape so I can look,

Right now I have Tahoe Day and it's basically, it is like just the default. And it's, well, I can't tell because it's, you know what they do now is they now have your wallpaper become your screensaver because like your wallpaper is just like a landscape that suddenly moves. And then when it goes into screenserver mode, it just just becomes that fully. And so there's like Sequoia Sunrides or Goa beaches. That's the, that's the India one for you. Tea Gardens from above. California's Tumblr range. Redwoods from above Grand Canyon River Valley

Look Los Angeles overpass Where the fuck are the fish? I want fish And I don't want real fish Okay, they actually do have There's a dolphin pot, there's jellies That's fine I want I want cartoon fish I want it to look like a fish tank

I don't want to have video footage Of scuba divers Yeah well you know The important thing is to have goals And in the case of this family they do We are gonna save this family With miniature fluffy cows I mean, I've been working on it for years.

I've been working on it for years. I came up with this idea years ago and we're going to do it. We're going to save this farm. Every week, you're going to save the farm with some new bullshit thing. And now you're not only bringing, you know, other live things into it. I don't know why it discussed me. I mean, it's a farm. Of course, I have cows and stuff.

I get it. But like, dabbling in the miniatures and then saying we're going to inseminate all our other cows with these embryos. I don't know. Like, there should be some choices. in this. And I know cows can't talk, but at some point, they need to unionize or something, because this is bullshit. At this point, I can't tell if we're talking about cattle insemination or Bravo programming, because honestly, we need some better choices. We need to have a say in this. Take this show

off the air. I think that, like, I think what's frustrating is that we have to sit through, like, another season of them complaining that like, Daddy's Farms are going to go. what we're gonna lose daddy's farm what's gonna have to lose the car wire soon we lost HQ we can't have any more christmas dinners every single week anymore over an hq anymore this was daddy's dream to have an hq it's like oh no the farm the farm is dying oh no and it's like okay here's what we're gonna do we're gonna sell miniature cows and that's gonna save our massive multi-million dollar enterprise that we have going here it's like why are you wasting our time with this why the cows are cute but also like i think you know you're talking about like it's you're you're sort of suggesting

there's like a lot of cruelty on display you know like inseminating cows doing embryo transfers no the cruelty is that these little baby cows are going to sit there and get their their hair blown out by alley and casey okay that's just not right well that's part of it too but i mean you're you're putting all these cows who didn't ask for you're just inseminating them with these toys that you want to sell start inseminating yourselves you're you're You guys carry them if it's so fucking important to you. Can you inseminate yourself with brain cells? Is that possible?

That would help. Let's get into it. That's for sure. All right. Mine are gone. Season. The lead plate in this show, I've lost a lot of brain cells. McVee Dynasty, season three, episode nine, Banks, Babies, and Bed Blood.

So we've started Jesse and Alice Big City Home. And, uh, wait, did you hear that? there's the sound of the subway going by. Okay. Go continue. He's just here. It's like a Jetson's car. I don't know what it is.

Like Kansas City is a legitimate city. I'm not saying it's not. There's just something about the way they keep saying, I'm going to the city house that like you just would think that it's like the opening credits of the nanny or something like that. Like it's just like another generic house. It looks just the same as the house that's up at the, farm. Well, you know, I mean, it started because she was working in a bridal shop and Flushing

Queens and then her boyfriend kicked her out one of those crushing scenes. What was she to do? What was she to say out on her fanny? Flushing Queens. Flushing queens from Fleshing to the Sheffield's door. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Damn it. I don't remember that whole thing. It's a shame they never did a nanny, Mr. Belvedere, or a crossover. You know, Flushing Queens is also how one would describe how Cole treated people in high school. Because you know he was taking some gay kids and putting their heads in toilets. So Jesse Nally's big city home, KC. Teagan and Allie talking about their Vegas trip.

They're like, wow, remember the shotgun wedding? I was like, that could be a literal term on this show. I know. I'm running a shotgun. I finally pulled the trigger. It's literally like they actually will walk two shotguns down an aisle and marry them together. Well, I always knew this shotgun. The first time this shotgun met that shotgun, I knew they would always be together forever.

We inseminated this tiny shotgun. We inseminated this big mama shotgun with a tiny shotgun. Now we're going to breed shotguns. Now, here's what we're going to do. We're going to grate up this shotgun, put in a jar and call it shotgun tallow. Okay, go sell it. Now they haven't talked to Christy much. What is Christy going to think when she finds out you had a surprise wedding?

It didn't invite Christy. What are you going to, what is it going to happen? Who's going to tell Christy? In case he's like, uh-uh, I'm not telling her nothing. I told my parents already. He's going to have to do that with his own mom. Yeah. So.

Okay, but she's your mom now, too. Yeah, she's your mom. Please don't make this the thing we have to wait all episode for. So then Chrissy comes over. She comes over and summer, they've like arranged this like zoo enclosure for summer, which I was impressed by actually. I'm not going to make fun of it. I was impressed. They had like a giant set of fences that somehow like enclosed like an ottoman and a coffee table and Allie herself and summer.

They were just in this enormous pen. And. What happens and you live in a barn. They live in a literal barn. You know like a barn dominium type thing. A barn to mansion. What would you call that thing? It's huge.

But yeah, it's like a city block enclosed so the baby can't just crawl off to the meat grinder or wherever, you know. Well, don't forget they were in the big city. So they had to make sure it didn't crawl off and get mugged. So. Public education. We don't want that baby to escape and wander into an old bomb pan. God forbid that baby escape and hit up a library or something. Don't fall into a manhole.

So life in the big city. We'll be in Kansas City soon enough, I'm sure. So they are nervous about Christy. And guess who's here? Hi, guys. It's me, Christy. With a latte dollar than anyone in the room. She's just like a latte on a dolly.

It has a joystick. And you put quarters into the Latte and you play Pac-Man. It's enormous. So she comes in and she's like, hi, girls, how's everything going? She's like, so? Like, how's your trip? Was it fun?

And then we see a montage of all the debauchery. And then we just, now we see three days earlier, Jesse just being a bad drunk on their first night and Ali sending her race to that whole thing. That whole thing went there. Yeah. There are 10 days of Tennessee. I think we had a good time.

The first time in the bed without a baby between us, you can imagine what would happen. We both had on three-piece suits and turtlenecks. It was really, really sexy. It's like, well, have the bachelor's party, y'all. And Casey's like, I just don't know what to say, because that's Cole's mom. I just don't know what I'm going to tell her.

And so she just kind of stares off into space and shiftily looks around the room. And then everybody just stays really quiet. I mean, you don't have to make Christy feel like shit. You know, Christy's like, did I fart? Where has everybody treating me like this? Drive something on my face? Did somebody tell you guys I might be voting Democrat?

Why is everybody looking at me like this? She was one of the most passive people on Bravo. Like, you just see this as someone who just wants to know things or be informed about things. but I think she always is like, well, my feelings don't matter as long as the children are happy, which I guess you could say that's a good parent. But like I just feel like she's just, you know, boys will be boys kind of mom. And these are not boys per se. But like, they're clearly hiding something from her.

And she's like, okay, well, I guess they don't want to tell me something as usual. Not in my family. This just would never fly in my family. It's like, what aren't you saying? I just took care of your fucking baby for how long and you're not going to tell me what you're going to go ahead tell me what you're saying. Just okay, hand me that knife. Hand me that baby. I will kill this baby.

Tell me. Tell me right now. Yeah, exactly. So, uh, Chris, he's like, well, grandma needs to get going. I'm glad you guys had fun in Vegas. I feel like there's probably a lot left out, but I'm good with that. Okay, glad I drove all the way down from the farm to come here. and for you guys not tell me anything that was really fun okay enjoy the enjoy the

64 gallons of latte i brought you bye yeah no kidding enjoy all the food and all the support i give you while you just sit there and not talk to me thanks and tegan's like i was scared someone's gonna slip about the wedding oh no it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial having a trailer and Stephen Jr. is like, wow, these many highlands, they're going to take off for us. If you had your own, if you had your own herd and you sold 10 to 15 calves out of a year out of that little pasture, with 10 to 15 calves, you're doing the same profit that you're doing with all that treework. Two to 300 jobs. Just think about that. Just think about that. Would you rather be doing trees or would you rather be doing cows? Yep. He's he's on to something. So, America, if you're looking, looking to have a small cow roaming around your house.

Uh, Stephen just reached out to Stephen McBee. He is the visionary who sees the next animal trend in America. Yeah. He was really big into trends like the beef tallow, the miniature cows. He was really late. They could have had McBee dynasty like fidget spinners. Yeah. Well, next, maybe next season he'll start breeding strange shaped raccoons.

He's like, you thought Jimothy was cute. Wait to see the McBee. Jimenez. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to take the legs and the arms and the head of a raccoon and cut out the middle part and just start breeding that. Okay? We're going to breed them inside of coal. Coal is going to carry them to turn.

We are going to make 18,000 more times than we would make in gardening projects. I'm going to go on to cowboy Christmas and I'm bringing raccoon tallow. We're going to set it a flame. There's a new market. it is raccoon tallow for miniature highlands because miniature highlands can get dry in the face. You have never seen a more gorgeous miniature island than when it has raccoon tallow on his face.

So, yeah, Stephen Jr. and Jesse are going to get some mini highland cows from a local breeder because they're the cutest things you'd ever see. And they are, in fact, very cute. And we just see them feeding them. And they keep poking their head through the gates. Which I'm like, enjoy that in your house. I head that's trying to poke at things all the time. A big cow had.

By the way, a small, a miniature cow is still very big, I have to say. So he tells us, it's still a cow. It's a cow. It's a cow. You know, do you potty train a cow? I mean, I had a pig, as I've told you. And those are potty trainable very quickly. They're really smart.

Are cows the same? Do you have the cow in your house? Does a cow just get up on your couch? Do I want one of these cows? Of course I do. Like, I'm sitting here. pitching about the injustice of even breeding these things in the first place. But of course, the second I saw one, I was like, oh.

I got it. I want one. I want one. They're cute, but you have to like literally live on a farm to have one. So he's like, many island cows have become this trending pet, the, the trending pet or animal they have. These things sell for premium 10 to 15 times what a normal Angus cap sells for. And even if you don't have a big farm, if you have less than one acre in your backyard, you

can have a mini highland they're great for anyone if you have a fam you feeling tired feeling sad get a mini highland you have someone that you love in your life now get a mini highland do you want to congratulate that special someone for graduated from the school that they just were in get a video island mini island big small bin the small now you can have a mini highland of your own okay so have a big experience with a mini highland called mic be mini islands yeah it's a big gamble and I'm going to have six figures put into these embryos with all the time effort, actual embryo costs, having the vet's out? I mean, there's a lot at stake here. No pun intended.

I was about to say. So your family's broke. You're going to lose everything. You've just sold everything off. And now you're going to start breeding cows in Jesse's backyard. I can't. How is this even legal? So we see on the screen, 20,000 per Highland cow and 1,300 per Angus cow.

Guys, that's, it's a no-brainer. I'm just double-checking. How much is a mini Highland cow? Let's see. We're seeing, I guess, online it costs, I don't know if it costs as much as $20,000. Between $2,000 and $10,000. So it says, if you're looking for a quick number,

this is from Katievanslike.net. I don't know if Katie Vance, like, she seems to have a lot of numbers. She seems to have a lot of authority on this subject. She says, if you're looking for a quick number, most mini-highland cows cost between $2,000 and $10,000. So already, he's lying to us, although she does have a stat that says, if you want to get a micro-mini-highland, it's five to 15,000. So these are the most...

Micro-mini-cow. Now, it's interesting because I love a micro mini cow, but if I am seeing a woman with a micro mini, I will call her a slut and I will not marry her. Do you understand me? Do you want a micro mini? Oh, sorry. Do you want a micro mini island that's going to sit patiently while you journal from 4 to 6 a.m. every day? Then call McPeed family farms. These are not just any micro minis.

These are micro minis that will journal with you and talk to you about memberships. And remember, you do have the right to send that micro minnie to the private school of your choice. We will guarantee that these micro minis will not be above 5 foot 8 and will have nothing but blonde hair. And don't forget, before you journal from 4 to 6 a.m., you will also be journaling with your micro minnie from 10 b.m. to midnight. That's right. Two back-to-back journaling sessions with a sleep in between. Oh, I can't wait for the first rage text to a micro mini. Who the hell do you think you are?

Your hair is too dark, and I do not appreciate you hanging out with that other micro mini. Okay, so they go, they check out these very, very adorable miniature highland cows, and their hair is all looking very nice. And in fact, they do say, that like you know Stephen says they have such pretty coats do you blow dry their hair and they're like yeah we actually do and he's like man all right well that's something of that you know alien and case you can do which first of all is so insulting to be like okay your ladies your job is to get blowouts to cows no and also like i don't trust their blowouts i'm sorry i'm like not

trusting casey with with a blowout yeah those those cows are to come out of there we're just wearing big sweatshirts. Yeah. And one of the ladies like, well, you can go in there, but they're going to lick you to death. Gals. Who don't want to be covering cowlicks? They are taking over the world. So Stephen's telling us, we're going to use embryo transfers from web cattle company into our own mama cows.

And that's going to, it's just, it just sounds like handmade stale to me. It's like mini highland handmade's tail. And I'm like your handmade stale. Yeah. I don't like micro mini handmaidstale. I don't like it. I just think I'm not opposed the idea of people breeding miniature highlands. I just think the idea that these tiny cows are going to be the thing that saves this big farm is ludicrous.

I mean, if it was like a tiny farm, like you're, it was like, we have a little hobby farm that, like, we make goat milk out of and like some skin products like the, like the Beekman brothers or whatever in upstate New York. They have like a little cute thing that sells goods to like Brooklyn. Fine. But like a proper agricultural farm in the Midwest that's like has millions of dollars of debt and be like, aha, it's going to be miniature cattle. And then this is the same guy who now wants to muscle in on Casey's actually promising tallow business. Come on. Yeah.

So they take some of these little cows and shove them in the car. And they're going to invest because daddy ain't here to say no now. And this could change everything. Like, wow. It's a second. Man, daddy's gone. And the first thing you do is go buy a bunch of micro mini cow toys. And then propose to them.

Will you marry me? I think being the oldest one doesn't have a wife. It's like, yeah. Look, there's a job for Casey and Allie and Blair and summer whenever they get older. And we get everyone working on the farm. It's going to be so good. It's whole family. You in, Jesse?

You in? He's like, God, it means for to keep. He's already predestined Blair to blow out many highlands for the rest of her life. Like, this is her job. This is her job. Maybe Blair wants something else in her life, you know? Have you ever considered what maybe Blair wants? For fuck's sake.

Please let Blair be a lesbian who goes off into corporate America. That's just all I want for her. Just to leave this world behind. I just want Blair to come home one Christmas and be like, guys, I'm adding a syllable to my name, and there's nothing you can do about it. Like, oh, my God. How am I supposed to spell her name? What's her?

She's like, I'm adding a syllable? It's an N. I've added an N. Blairn. I still one syllable, honey. Damn it. It's the curse of being Cole's daughter. So, Ali, we see clips of Vegas again, and Stephen's really worried about

Ali. He's like, yeah, I was talking about Ali earlier and I don't know. I'm struggling. And we see clips in Vegas, like I said, of them talking about their arguments over Stephen's inability to have a direct conversation with Casey. That whole situation is so bizarre and how did they just completely swipe over that situation? Why wasn't there a conversation with other Allie saying, Allie, why were you saying this relationship was inappropriate? Well, they were hanging out a lot. it was kind of weird you guys can't drop something like that and then not follow up yeah that's what i'm that's what i'm saying like this is why this show drives me nuts it's that it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like they just decided to give the interns a tv show to create so al even's like

well you know now she wants to take a step back for me so she's going to texas so i'm moving to texas you fucking stalker that's not taking When she takes this, you guys are not dancing. Okay. When she takes a step back, you don't take a step forward. Okay. It means we separate. She's stepping away slowly, like probably with a knife in her hand.

Leave her alone. But also, like, how ridiculous this is that, I mean, if we're supposed to take it on face value, very wide, chinny face value, the truth is that, like, the farm is, like, falling apart. And you're foisting this brand. new cow endeavor on it, selling miniature cows, but then you're also just going to skip town for a girl that you met like two months ago. It doesn't, none of it makes sense. I mean, it's either that this was like a storyline that they decided to put forward to make this show seem somewhat dramatic, or it's like you're just the worst possible administrator for this

farm, which is probably the latter. Well, Stevens never, I mean, ever since the beginning, they've always said Stevens never there, you know. So he's only, really there to film and then pretend like he's in charge of everything. From what I'm getting from this show, everything they say on the show, especially Cole. Cole's always like, and then he doesn't think of all the around, but maybe, you know, he's sick to bouts me around because I'm the one way to see you and I do all the work. You ever heard of soybeans? Um, so now 5 p.m. yesterday, uh, we see Stephen talking about his relationship with

Christy and he's like, sometimes slow him down. feels like. She's like, like you're ending it. He's like, yeah, it feels weird. I know. I get those emotions every time I get to the bottom third of my latte. It's like, oh, you get me, mama. Let's see. So Stephen's like, he's going to get married. He's like, this is crazy.

You know, I dreamt of a relationship and we're doing a complete 180. We went from getting married within a couple of months. Now she's moving back to Texas, moving in with her sister. It always hits me a little hard. that I'm the oldest son and get to start a family. This is not the place I want to be at this point in my relationship. That's not how it works. You don't just say I'm ready now and then come up with a template that you want and then

just punch a card and then that it's not an order. It's not a mini Highland cow. Yeah, it's not. So Jesse is like, um, is Allie really set on living in Texas? Because I don't know exactly how that would work. He's like, well, there'll be a lot to figure out. It's like, well, I don't, I don't know if that's something that you guys will just have to test it and see if it's going to work at all. Yeah, Jesse, that's literally what's happening right now.

It's like, well, that's how it works. It's going to be what we have to do because I can tell you, I did not plan on going backwards. You are the most pessimistic person going forward. I'm a little old to be going backwards. Okay, I'll go sideways, sure, but not backwards. I don't go backwards. Guess what? If I have to back out of a parking spot, guess what I do?

I go forwards. I drive right through that traffic media until I get to the rats out of the road. That's just the way I do. I don't go backwards. Casey and Cole's home. She's decorating the home for Blair's birthday. And everyone starts coming. And they're like, oh, my God, it's Blair.

It's her birthday. It's like, it's Blair's first birthday. And I feel like that was the fastest year in my life because it's also Cole's birthday. But sorry, Cole. Case, this birthday is going to be a. about Blair and then so is the next one. And then so is the next one. And then so is the next one.

And then so is in a quack scene. She's right. When she said it was the fastest year ever, it's because it took her that long to finish her sentence. He said, what a year already went by? So she's stressed. I'm a little stressed to see everybody's day because no one knows that we got married and ellie's like so you're telling christie today right i can do it's like um it's

it's cold's choice i told him i think she'll be shocked but i think she'll be happy um and yeah i think he'll be able to say you got blair's same last name is like really cute like isn't that cute yeah it's great it's a great time to uh take the macb name casey great timing um yeah it's a big one because it's like you know christie doesn't know that where me It's Blair's birthday At the same time as Cole's birthday And Uh-oh, I might be pregnant again

So she's like I think I need to take another test And Allie's like Wait, how late were you last time? I don't know a few days But I'm five days late Oh no So they go into the bathroom

And then she pees on the thing And she's like, I can't look at it. Will you look at it, Allie? Here, hold this stick that has my peepee on it. Okay, tell me. What is it? But I think we have to wait a couple minutes. Yes, Ali.

Other person who's had a baby. That's how that works. So they sit in there and wait. And Casey's like, this is going to be hard. Two babies at one time. I think it's been a couple minutes now. Should I look at it? But what if we have a baby?

Then we're going to have two babies. I got it. You look at the stick yet? Yeah, but more than one baby's, two babies, unless it's three babies. What if we have ten babies at one time? Oh, goddamn. You're pregnant. You're pregnant.

What happens if Cole meets a magic frog and touches it and turns him back into a baby? Then I got another baby. What then? Wait a minute. I'm not sure. Is it supposed to be one stick or two sticks for pregnancy? What does this mean? It looks like it's just a big hole in a tree trunk.

Oh, that means it's Coles baby. But it should be a small hole in a tree trunk. Oh, yeah, you're right. So she's pregnant. It was an artistic representation. She's pregnant. She's pregnant. Another McBee enters this world.

And a little baby, future baby Tate is now brewing inside of there. And they're like, oh my God, this is crazy. And guess who walks in the front door? It's Christy. So, Christy comes in and they're like, what are we going to do? I just found out I'm pregnant. And on top of that, she doesn't even know I'm married. And on top of that, she doesn't even know I accidentally erased all her touched by

angels that she had saved up on her DVR. What do I do? If this family really wanted to make money, they would open a balloon factory. Because all, did you see how many balloons were in this place for this birthday party? Listen, I get balloons, but why is everything this family does? Everything this family does is so problematic. Like, do you need that many balloons?

And you know, they're just going to release them up into the air and then dead birds are going to start falling from the sky. They're going to be like, wow, that's good luck, Kate. It's good luck, Blair. Look how many birds fell from the sky on your birthday. Hey, hey, your mama might be pregnant. I'm going to do rabbit tests. My father always said that if a Canadian goose, if a Canadian goose falls from the sky because it fixated on a balloon,

that's a good sign for your baby. Yeah. That's what we call liberal geese. Hey, what's that stick with the equality sign on it? That's a pregnancy test. Two lines. Oh, never mind. Well, either way, get it out of my house.

house. So everybody comes. They're all telling Blair, happy birthday. Even Galena's there. And Allie and Casey are walking into a conversation Christy's having asking about the trip and Allie. And Allie's running late, guys, but she's coming. Do not worry about Alice. She's going to be here.

And Casey, you know, doesn't know how they're all going to do this. I don't know. It's like a this, this shows like literally. paint drying. So a lot of people just keep coming in. And Cole's like, I can't believe my baby, but girl's already one year's old. Just seems like yesterday she was less than one years old. It just seems like I got it. I, I remember just last year hiring the helicopter and getting some AK-47s and shooting big little pellets out of them for the gender reveal. God, time flies. So, Allie comes and she's like, oh my God, hi, everybody.

Is such your grandma? What a gorgeous creature. Am I right, everybody? So good. I would take a picture of you, but that's like content. You'll have to pay for that. So back the fuck up, Mee Ma. Okay.

I have a finance degree. So Steven is, yeah, he introduces Ali to his grandma, Sherry. And Sherry's like, oh, wow, yeah. I've actually seen you on your social social media pages. Wow. And this is Gary. I said, hi. It's like, yeah, well, this one right here is a keeper. As in, I'm going to keep her. She's my. Don't go anywhere else. You don't get to go to Texas. You're mine. I'm putting you in a cage, okay? But she's a real keeper. I'm not even going to call a keeper. That's just too old fashioned. I'm going to call it a trapper. This one's a

trapper. You know, everyone's talking about like Stephen and I getting married and like what our plans are. And I'm still wondering, like, what's Stephen's favorite color? I mean, I also want to slow down and be realistic and the fact that we've only known each other for a couple of months. And I don't know what's next. But as far as I can tell, this is the season finale coming up. So then I get to go back to my normal life. Thank you. Yeah.

I don't know if I'm going to dump him yet, but the cameras are almost down. So we're getting pretty close. And by the way, you know his favorite color. It's blonde. Duh. Do you even watch this show? Seriously. So now Christy announces that Blair is going to open up her presence.

and Col's like, Oh my God, can't even have fun because we didn't tell Mama about getting married and what Mama does we're going to get married and we're going to bring her his birthday.

So you know what we're going to do? There's a good chance that Mama Mike had upset because this could have been like a very important time for her and she was excluded from it and she could be like, you know,

feel like embarrassed and humiliated and we have some sort of reaction. So we're just going to tell her in front of all these people. Okay. So guess what? Guess what? Um, so Casey and I want to tell you something special for Blair's birthday. And we decided that Casey would have the same last name as Blair.

So while we're in Vegas, we got married on Thursday night. Oh, are you lying? You're going to take that from your mother. You wouldn't take that from your mother, would you? It's like, damn. That's like, hold me back. Hold me back. Hold me back.

So I'm saying love. It is an angel. Oh, God. I can't believe. if they do this you know I would have sang one of my greats here waiting Y I MCA won't you come into the YMCA hey hey hey don't blame it on the don't blame it on the moon night don't blame it on the sunshine don't blame it on the good times blame it on the bogey why would you do this to your mother

I like pinia colitis and getting out in the rain. There is a time when the world must come together. Sorry, sometimes I get swept up in emotion just want to remind everyone about we are the world. I like big butts and I can not lie. Hey, this is crazy. And I just met you. But here's my mini Holland cow.

Call me, maybe. I got my driver's license. I don't even know what that one is. So, yeah, they announced that they are married and it looks, it's right before commercial. so it looks like Christy is pissed. But Christy always has a really pissed off look. And then she gets that teeth smile. So she's like,

Oh, are you serious? Oh my gosh. I'm so happy. Yeah, it looks like Chrissy's going to be pissed. But it turns out she's fine. And, hey, Blair also got her other gift. It's going to train her for a life. A little mini blow dryer.

It's really a sweet scene. It's the prophecy. It's the prophecy. a song of blow drying and ice. The song of lights and fire. You are the prince that was meant to be. So, Christy, yeah, she does smile like she's about to go sell some popcorn on TV.

And then, you know, she's like, wow, they got married. I don't know what's going to happen next. I realized I lost control my family. They didn't even tell me. Oh, wow. I'm smiling through the pain. Smile to the pain.

Would it been nice if I could have been included in this and see my son get married and would have been a very special time for his mother? Yes, but boys will be boys, so they get to do. I have to be okay with anything that they do. Okay. Great. Great. I mean, even Stephen didn't tell me. And he usually can't keep a secret from me.

So this is great. I think I'll leave some control of my whole family. I love it. It feels great. It feels I'm just so happy for you. Oh my God, let me see the pictures. You're in a wedding rest? Well, Cole, she got a wedding dress.

So this was planned. So if she planned a wedding with a wedding dress, this is so, I'm so happy for you. It's like blood coming out of her eyes. She's like, well, at least, at least you guys got a nice ring. Oh, turquoise. That's great. So happy.

I'm so glad you got a turquoise wedding ring. Got it at the Cowboy Christmas. Oh, okay. Well, I'll just put back, I'll just put back this heirloose. whom I was going to give to you on your wedding day. I'll save this for. I guess Braden, you're going to get married, right? Okay.

Well, this is going to be great. You know what? They're going to have a wedding when Steve gets out. I'm so happy. And Galena comes up to her, and she's like, no, we have to plan reception, right? We are going to have reception. I will be in charge of no mass reception. Yeah.

And at some point in the middle of this situation, someone pulls Christy aside and was like, don't worry. Galena was not at the wedding. Because last week we were like, this is so rude. Galena's there. She's in Vegas. They don't even invite her to the wedding.

But I know in retrospect, I'm like, oh, yeah, that would be kind of fucked up if Galena got to go to the wedding. Christy didn't. So it makes sense. She would have been pissed. That's true. Yeah. So she's like, yeah, you know, Casey's already my daughter.

And watching her just be such a good mama to Blair. It just made me love her. even more. I can't wait to give her more free babysitting while she completely ignores me and doesn't tell me what's happening in my son's life. Yeah. Well, I'm, I'm so glad that I gracefully stepped aside for running their company at their wishes for them to repay me by not inviting me to their wedding. That's so great. That's great. Feels good. Feels so good. So Tessa's like, well, I'm just so proud of taking care. Y'all will help me all these years. It's been a pretty pretty. It is been a privilege.

I've been with the McPee family for a long, long time. Cooler beans still be on his daddy's lap when I came to the farm. So to be here in this moment, you know, watching the kids grow up and still want me to share these special important moments with them. It means everything to me. I will happen. Uh, sorry, a big gopal water. Yeah, poor Tessa. She just has to remind everybody every time.

So remember me? I've been back. they're used to your little boys. Tessa is the only line. Thanks for not by me as well. Huh? Yeah. I'm glad they invited Tessa to this because she's been,

they like, what were they took her away from the dribble door and they put her off in wherever, like how the gas, oh, they took her off the gas. The gas, remember she was filling up the gas on the trucks. Yeah. She loved that. Well, I guess I'll be the office manager now.

Yeah. Do I miss filling up trucks with gas? I sure do, but you know what? I'll just do whatever these boys need me to do. They want me to get my hand off of the gas lever and then all I'm going to do it because I just love these boys more than I love my life. I miss you guys. She loved filling gas up in those combines.

I think she really did because she would just sit there in the garage and the guys would just come on by like, well, Tassar, we need someone to fill up the gas. Oh, don't worry about that. I got you ready. Watch out for the river, Lord. and then she's like how are those adorable little kids you tell me you show me bigger and new little kids you don't do right now i do i do really like tessa a lot uh do she's so sweet she's just stuck in a fucking office now talking to staplers there's nobody in there some big

empty warehouse you know that's her heart firm fulfillment facility it's great well what a wonderful family this is says tessa and no one else and so casey um is just like like whatever she's walking around and then christie is like wow i have to say casey mcby casey mcby casey mcby wow this is crazy commercials here comes one right now cole and casey are in the bathroom because she's got something else to say and cole has an observation he goes this ring is kind of sticky from us and I got to take it off and wash it. How are you eating your cake?

Just Cole plunding his hand into the cake. Oh, my thing. Yeah. I'll take it off and wash it. So Casey's like, well, you know, I'm stressed. How's Cole gonna react? I mean, it's coal. It's the same way he reacts to anything.

He's gonna go. Wow. What? No. Huh? Wow. So she gives him a little present and that's what he does. There's a little wrapped thing in there. He's like, wait a minute. No. Wow. Huh? What? No way. I mean, I'm happy and everything. But gosh, we already weren't getting sleep or nothing. Well, it's not like Jesus just like implanted this. to you like you're about to do with cows. Have you ever watched your own show? Because that would really help you get more sleep. So Cole's like, do a peacock binge of this shit. You'll be out like a light. Uh-oh.

I got some us on the pregnancy test. Does that ruin it? Does that mean we're not having a baby anymore? No, Carl. You're pregnant with the store-bought cake? Wait a second. Wait a second. It says the results of your pregnancy test say, Duncan Hines. What does that mean? Looks delicious. So. Oh, gosh. So they're pregnant. Yeah, super exciting. And this was a good half hour of my life. Just this pregnancy stick apart. So then we go to Stephen Jr.'s and Alice packing a carry on. And it's very sad because Ali's leaving guys. And Stephen's like, yeah, for me, long distance.

is a kiss of death in relationships. Yeah, restraining orders on distance. That's it. Yeah. Those, yeah, restraining orders,

yeah, screaming at your girlfriend and her family, also usually a kiss of death. Yeah. So they get into this car. And Allie says, this whole situation is like really tough for me because I love Stephen and I care about him deeply.

We've just had like a whirlwind of a few months. And I just need to, a second to digest it all because like if cameras aren't rolling do we even have a relationship? I don't know. Gotta go back to Texas. So then he's like, are you even sad?

She's like, yeah, I just I didn't even get to say goodbye the chickens. He's like, well, yeah, you didn't. Or you didn't even get to say goodbye to Todd. She's like, I don't know. Todd the pig. Todd. Oh, Todd of the pig.

Todd. Yeah, Todd's like. Um, and so then they drive off and Todd the pig's eating an apple. Like, later losers. Don't try and implant me with one more fucking thing. Okay. So they're talking about how she feels going back.

It's just like moving so quickly. It's like almost like survival mode. And it's like worrying me about like, I hope I moved back to taxis is going to like help us slow down about and get to know each other. And just like go through that normal dating phase that you go through

where you're not really in the same location. as somebody um and you're just waiting to see if they're picked up for another season you know it's just like a natural progression of a relationship yeah i feel like i don't know like there's something about this whole situation with alley you know meeting stephen on instagram and then just like flying out to go like meet him in person and then just like staying for all this time it's all very like Sarah Plain and Tall. And I just feel like it's so, it's like weird. It's weird.

I'm like very glad that she's going back to Texas. What was the plot of Sarah Plain and Tall? Because all I remember is that it was Glenn Close in like a, like a old school, like Mormon dress. Like what do you call the super religious Mormon like in the prairie dresses on the poster? And I thought that's such a mean title to give Glenn Close, like Sarah Plain and Tall. Oh, geez. Yeah, I seem to remember it's about like a farmer who like buys a wife or something or like says,

hey, I'm looking for a wife. Will you be my wife? Something like that. But it's definitely like Stephen definitely has that old school vibe of like, well, it's time for me to have a wife. So got to found one. Bring him up here. They're not, don't build my wife. So it feels like she was sort of, I don't, it was just a weird cosplay.

I felt like they were kind of doing. And I think she just sort of snapped out of it like, whoa, I thought I was coming up here to get laid. And he's like, oh, we're getting married. I'm going back to Texas. No, I think she's here for the show. I mean, just to get laid, she wouldn't have been here for this whole shooting time and then just happened to be leaving at the end. Yeah. No.

She's a player too. But, you know, why shouldn't she be? They all are, you know. She's like, okay, I can be on a reality show. what was it last week or the week before there were pictures of her out to lunch with Austin Crowl from Southern Charms. So, you know, she's making those TV rounds. Yeah. Well, so good for her, bad for us. Yeah. She, she has, so he drops her off at the airport and it's awkward.

They have like weird, strained conversation in the car because he's clearly upset. So they'll be like driving quietly and she'll say things like, hi. Hey, hi. How are you doing? Like, just leave. Just drop her off at the airport, leave. Let's never turn back. Yeah, and he's upset because he feels like he's getting dumped.

And he's like, wow, you know, it's just, I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have started off so strong and heavy. Allie has her own career. She's traveling all the time. She's so in the moment living in the present that she forgets to call back home or talk to her family or talk to her friend. So I'm sitting here thinking, you're going to be in Texas. I'm just not going to hear from you. Is that the way it's going to go now?

You're just not going to call me? Oh, really. We'll see how that turns out for you, stagecoach slut. You think you just can go slut around around the country to all these liberal cities while little cows are there? Hair not blown out. We need you at the farm. Yeah, but, you know, we talk about how Allie is clearly here for the show. But I think Stephen is clearly with an influencer for that.

as well, you know, because he loves the fame too. So he's, you know, he met Cala on that millionaire dating show like, marry a man with the tractor and a million dollars or whatever that show was. So yeah. Well, you know, so they guess what? Now it's cold and snowy on the farm and it's time to make the embryo transfer. We've seen a lot of in vitro stuff on Bravo, but this is a new one. So they've got to do it. It's a really cold day. It's a scary day to do it because they may not take because it's so cold, but this is their window to do it. So we watch them inseminate cows.

And it's exciting for everyone who is there. It's disturbing. It's so bad. Tessa's there. So they're, you know, they're all there. Jesse's there. Coles there. And Stephen's like, who's idea was this?

Of course, the day we decided to do embryo transfer and a. It's two degrees outside and five inches of snow on the ground. It's the coolest day of the year. Damn it. I could, Alec freezes in the cold. We could have implanted her. Never leave. That's one way to get, Valley.

We'll just start having her birth, mini highlands. If we want the business side of mini highlands becoming truly profitable, we need a hell a lot of them. So Cole then ushers all the cows inside. He's like, like, Oh, wow, bo, bo, bra, bra, bra, right. Getty up. Getty up.

is they're all like, oh God, we're going inside just to get away from this idiot. So now they do all their insemination and Tess is like, well, those boys, I love him. And I'll do anything. If I have to give a cow an epidural, I will because I'll do anything for those boys. All right, it's an epidural. He's going to put a block on them. We're just going to make them numb. Then I'm going to throw off the NBR.

I can give it to him. He's just going to put it in. What the fuck is this ER in the backyard? What are you guys doing? can't be this. I will be your father figure. Put your tiny embryo in mine. Though the cows are running towards, you know, they're running.

Of course, they would. I'm sorry. I can't. Can we just go to the next scene? I'm so sorry. I can't talk about. Thank you. I don't want like, there's nothing more I can.

I don't want to. They stick it in the cows. So now we go to Christie's house. And... Or drink cows for their, you know, for their fucking toys and financial gain. I fucking hate these people. I'm not even upset about that part. I'm just more like...

I'm just like there's nothing left to say about this. So, Christy's house and Stephen and Christy are talking about Allie in the long-distance relationship and Stephen's holding Blair. He's like, what do I do with this one? I don't understand it. It's a baby. And Christy's like, okay, let me help. So she's like, so did you get...

Ali dropped off. He's like, I did. She's heading down to Nashville, which I thought she's going to Texas, but it's fine. And Christy's like, are you missing her already? Here, I got you a keg size of latte. That'll help you. Our little broken heart. And she's like, yeah, it was harder than I thought it would be, Mama. Yeah, it was real hard, Mama. And this is the time to tell you. I think I'm going to spending my time in Texas. I'm like, um, so you mean for the, um, the, um, the, maybe the winter or well maybe about half the time here half time there i'm going to split the time i mean i don't know how many halves are in there and split you know you know whatever it's a lot of time a lot of time uh i found a really nice property right outside alley's window and i'm just going stand there tapping on it like this saying open open open open open open her dad doesn't shoot me well that sounds a little dangerous honey it's love mother it's called mom mama do you have a trench coat in a boom box i was kind of thinking about sitting outside our window.

Planes of Peter Gabriel. Well, I don't, but I do have a trench coat and Tessa. You could just stand out there and kind of hold Tessa up. She'll sing whatever you want to. She'll cry while she's doing it. I would love to do that. I actually have an old Boombach costume from Halloween 1997. I can just put that right on.

I've got a box dress. I'll do anything for them boys. In your, well, how's it going in? In your eyes. In your eyes. In your eyes. In your eyes. Am I doing it right for you, Stephen?

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know. Every day is a whining road. Well, for the last day of my life. The last decade of my life, I put this farm and these businesses before anything else. And this is the first time I'm going to choose my personal life over their businesses. That is not true. And I wish that we could have a little sidebar of coal, as he's saying all of this, because I just don't believe you for 10 years.

I'm finally going to go get a woman. Well, there's also just something so obnoxious about, like, making all these mandates about what the farm has to be, and then just saying, and now I'm going to put myself first, and I'm going to, I'm not, putting the farm first. Well, if you're not putting the farm first, then why you're calling the shots? Like, get out of here. Exactly. Yeah. So, um, he's telling Christy and Christy's crying because she's, that's my boy. That's my boy. I'm a boy mom. And it's terrible. It's the worst reason I've ever in my life. This is a, delight. Like, I'm in here to steal my boy. Why don't you just cut his hair, cut his hair and take his weakness. I think nature's already doing

for for delilah so then jesse and we now go to jesse and alley's farmhouse and um it's uh going uh it's undergoing a major overhaul and uh which is exciting and so cole walks in and you know what you want from your man who doesn't know how to open a tractor door uh to remodel your house by himself yeah seriously i don't actually remember that there was an overall happening but i'm not going to lie it was around this part of the episode that I literally fell asleep. And so then I had to like wake up again. And sometimes when that happens, I get a little hazy about the surrounding details. But yeah, this was I definitely dozed off during the scene.

I'm not even lying. So Cole is like, it's very important to the plot. So, you know, Jesse got laid in Vegas after being a drunk asshole to his wife. And so now he's happy. So he's going to remodel the house so that she'll want to spend more time. at this house instead of the big city house um so yeah it's it's uh it's great so then uh they're talking about how stephen junior might be leaving he's going to texas and just he's like well definitely i guess at the time of it all it's like new venture and highlands and obviously like it's kind of

crazy news you're just going to run off and go live somewhere else i mean i might put a new i might new load bear in somewhere rather up there with this humor Steven's like well I'm not ducking responsibilities it'll still be handling I'll still be holding everything you know that I handle now I just won't

physically be there and Jesse's like well all the other things that we've got going on all the banks and the loans that are getting called and stuff and that needs to be he needs to be here for that it feels like a little bit selfish that he's just up and moving away not that I'm going to say anything

about it so Stephen's like Well, I don't know. I just feel like everything's falling into place. And now is a good time forward. It's a great time for me to abandon the farm. Yeah, if I knew this is probably going to happen, you know, it still sucks hearing it and stuff. But, like, you know, I'm worried about the farm.

I'm worried about the future. I'm worried about daddy. I'm worried about my kid. I'm worried about my new kid. I'm worried what if I have another kid? I'm worried about all those birds that didn't fall from the sky. Let the balloons go, Casey. I got to fix everything for him.

And if Stephen ain't going to be 100% invested in this farm, I'm taking over and that's it. That's the this and the right about it. There's so much to worry about in life. Like, talkies. Are those like tacos, but they're just called talkies? I don't understand things. So cold. Are talkies immigrants?

Think of all. Talkies. What? What? It's spelled with a K. But isn't taco spelled with a C? I don't know. I'm just confused about packaging.

these days. Well, I didn't want to come drop this on you guys, but I wanted y'all to know where my thoughts are, and they are on for freedom after being chained in this company for my entire life. So now we go to Cole and Casey's house, and Casey's like, Cole, why won't the closet pull down work? I'm on a step stool. I don't know why. I missed that line last night, but there's something so sad about like Casey.

these announcements. I'm on a step stool. Well, they have one of those closets. Their house is so big and the walls are so tall that they have a closet where you have to get a stick to pull down the top bar so you can get the clothes from the top bar hop. But guys, we've seen your clothes. Like, do you really need three full racks going up to the ceiling? It's the same. It's the same target cotton shirt on the bottom rack just wear that one how many generic sweatshirts do you need so um uh stephen meanwhile stephen is uh that's literally all the scene was was that she was on a step stool and the thing wouldn't come down so now stephen uh goes i i thought that was at the end of the episode but now we have stephen in the car

with jake i mean it was it was pretty big you should end on the bigger things and case he pulling down the closet rock was pretty huge. But you know, you guys are running the show. You do it how you want. Yeah, that's right. So now Stephen and Jake go ring shopping because Jake is finally going to pop the question to Tegan. And so Jake is, uh, they're excited. And he's like, I think I'm up at time. If not, it's getting close to time. I don't know it's been eight years. And so just Stephen's like, well, you're waiting about as long when Jesse has. So let's go in and see what they got for a ring. So they go into the Drennan jewelry store. They, I feel like this is like the, um, Kyle Chan of the yes of Mick B Dynasty, this guy. They just come in here every episode. Yeah.

So, yes, the Kyle Chan. And he's like, hey guys, welcome back to the, welcome back to the ring factory. What do we got here? Okay. Well, today we've had, um, a baby birthday. A baby on the way. A marriage. Another marriage.

Implanting cows with babies. Wow, this show's got every base cover. Do we want to get rings for the miniature cows? Okay? Are they going to have babies in sin? What are we doing here? What are we doing? Well, so Jake is there to look for a ring,

but of course then Stephen makes it about himself. So now Steven starts looking for a ring for Allie. And he's like, Allie's like, you better not get me a lateral diamond. You know, she was married before. The one that she had before was like a $150,000 ring. So I want to get something bigger. Give me a $45 million ring.

Daddy's going to pay for it. Okay. Many Highland cows will pay for this ring. Wow. We're broke where we have no money and Cole's house is about to get taken away. I'm going to spend $150 grand on a ring. And I love Allie. It's like this is moving too fast.

I don't like how fast is. Okay. Here's the specifications of the ring I want. Exactly. I know. He pulls out a list. It's like, do you have? Do you have, wait, where is this one?

He pulls it out at some point. We'll get to it in a minute, but it's like, do you have something that is four quarters of an emerald and three quarters of a dynamite and two stones on the side that center sit and place over? Okay, Ali, you don't want to move too quickly, but it's like a page long of descriptions of the ring you want, and it must be over a $1,000.50.

Do you have yellow gold emerald with no halo, no cushion rig, with two stones on the side of the Cussetter's time? And you pointed this out already. But dude, why do you have to make this about yourself? This is Jake's moment. You know, let the man have his moment for Christ's sake. Exactly. And Jake's like, $150.

That's like, that's like five years of my salary. What are you doing here? These people are paying you $30,000 a year. Burn everything down, Jake. That's what I say. Yeah, honestly, Jake's like, Stephen up chest is hard right over a girl. He thinks he's in love with. then he does take selfies in the gym rear.

We all really like Alice, Stephen. Don't scare this run away. It's too late. We see all of, well, we see a bunch of Stephen's gym pictures when he said that. And I was cracking up that he's such a Sheena. Like every pose he does is exactly the same and he faces his face towards the same direction. So we can always have the exact same good side. Wow.

It's Sheena. It's a male Sheena at a farm. Corner. So, Jake's like, I mean, I thought when you went to Antarctica, you was torn with a daughter

asking her date to marry, and Steven's like, well, I just feel like I'm 31 now, and I'm not one where, I'm not one where like, I'm like, Jesse, you know,

like we have to like wait eight years. You know what? I go after what I want. I know what I want, I'll be perfect. We're going to journal together. Well, actually, she'll sleep out,

I'll journal, then she'll wake up, and then we'll talk about my journal. And then we'll do memberships and send our child to the, Private school of our choice. It's going to be great and wonderful. And poor, this poor guy is just like,

do you have anything for about $30? I'll look at that one for my engagement. And it seems like, you know what? I think it's too soon. You're right. It's not time. Do you have diamond handcuffs that I could buy? Give me those.

So now we go back on his is like a comfortable little piece of foil on a garbage tie. Yeah. Well, he can always have only fans to get a better ring. And I encourage it. So then we go to the Farmfulfillment Center. Be a great plot twist. Farm fulfillment center. And Casey is, she's working on the tallow. She's putting labels on jars. And Cole comes over with Blair. And Casey's like, Stephen and I still have not figured out a single thing about the tallow business. And Stephen's been absent and hasn't really helped with anything since the last time we talked. So, yeah, basically, Stephen is, he heard that there was money in it.

He wanted to get involved. And then he found little cows. And now he's on to that one. So he found out that they're going to stand up and not give Allie 20%. So he's like, fuck you. And then found something else to go do. So, yeah. So Cole, so she's holding the baby and trying to put stickers.

on these fucking products, okay? And she's like, Cole, could you hand, could you hold the baby? Can't you just do it the same time? No, she's working. She's doing, bro. So then she hands him the baby. He's got her for two seconds.

And then Stephen calls like, we need to talk in private. I do not want you talking in front of Blair, Casey. He's like, okay. Here's the baby. She's like, okay, come here, big girl. Trying to put stickers on. These are consumer-facing products,

and she's got to do it like while holding a baby. Meanwhile, all the labels are going to be like a skew. Well, so on all over them and shit. Yeah. People are going to be wiping this stuff on their face. No offense, Blair, but you're a baby. And that's what babies are snotty little goo factories. Meanwhile, we know Cole can't handle those labels because they'll get icing on them somehow.

So Stephen's like, the only labels Cole's into are for bathrooms. Probably. The only label he's into is Forever 21. Stains. Forever 21 Sane's, that's what his shirts look like. Get it, everyone. Get it. Heather DeBrow, get over here.

Thank you. So, um, Stevens at case, yeah, into the warehouse. That case you can't hear me, can't Blair hear me, because I don't trust her. Okay, now listen here. They're calling in the loans and the land that your house is on. They're calling in a loan.

Sorry, Cole, but we're broke, okay? And I'm about to spend $150,000 at the ring store. So you're pretty fucked. We spent all the rest of the month. money, getting embryos into cows that didn't consent to that. So sorry, gonna have to wrap it up here. Pack it up. Yeah, I know you have your dream house, and I know it's literally a roof over your family's

heads, but the money that we could have used to make sure your house would be secure for the future, I did spend on a diamond ring so I could love bomb Alley, a girl I've known for eight weeks, and the rest of it I spent on a tiny, tiny cow that has hair that you guys will now have to blow dry since you don't have a house anymore. Okay, have a great day. Cause like, what? Why is everything happening to me? Why the government coming after us like this? I just don't get it.

When things are going to turn around for the McAbiz? Wenzica, oh, us poor very wealthy people bond diamond rings here and there and invest in novelty cattle. Where are things going to turn around for us poor folks? and that is the McBee dynasty so God I'm praying that next week

is the season finale it allegedly told me it was I will believe you but if it's not they will be our season finale either way but everybody thank you so much

for being here always fun talking about this idiotic show we will talk to you next time see you later bye watch what crapins would like to thank

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