Watch What Crappens - #3506 McBee Dynasty S03E10: Not Working at the Car Wash

Episode Date: August 18, 2026

The McBee Dynasty wraps up its third season and at long last, something happened! And no, I’m not talking about Kacie and Tegan wearing matching brown pleather pants. The big news is that Galyna unleashed her rage for 16 seconds, and it was… fine? Glad we suffered through ten hours of airtime to get to THAT (although, she did live out our greatest fantasies). This collection of dull people doing dull things is finally done for the year, which means insomnia sufferers across the country will need to find a new way to get their zzz’s. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, sign up for our free weekly newsletter and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to watch what crap is a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today for this very, very exciting episode is the one and only the arrascible. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Well, hello. Rassable. Yeah.

Are you excited because today is the season finale of McBee Dynasty. And, yeah, to Christy. I am. Christy McBee could be the series finale. Oh, yeah, it could be. Yeah, and Stephen, too, was like, We are sick of it.

We are sick of taking it from the Bravo fandom. This is a sick, toxic fandom. I will not have this. I will only have a fandom of five foot eight or five foot six blonde women. Do you understand me? From now on, we are solely producing this show for an audience of many island cows. Okay? Number bravo people.

This show did give me what I needed, though. And I have to say, and I was watching the episode like, wow, they've got nothing. I mean, that whole happy hour scene with the ladies or whatever, the girls' nights, they literally just stood there and stared at each other for a solid five minutes talking about nothing. And I was like, this poor show has nothing going on for it. And then my Galena grabbed a crowbar and made it all worth it at the end. No. That's my girl, Galena. I love you.

Love you. It was a great moment. I laughed out loud. Um, it was very, it was very fulfilling for me because I think we've all wanted to do that to Steven's car, if not face. But like, quite frankly, that's the scene. That's seeing when the girls night at that bar was one of the saddest, most pathetic things we've ever seen on Bravo. I'm sorry. It was like the Pleather Brigade came out and stood in a brightly lit sports bar and stood at the corner drinking milky drinks looking around like, girls not. I'm like, oh gosh.

Oh, man. That is a. vision. I mean, the same week that they have Crystal's ugly leather pants party and these girls are wearing these outfits like non-ironically. It was just it was a tough watch. Non-ironically. Yep. So here we are.

Season finale of the McBee. Yeah. McBee car. Well, guess well, we started the McBee Car Wash office and Galena is sitting in front of two monitors which is you know, she's just looking at, at chickens, right? Like, we all know she's just staring at the Masha's chickens, like waiting when to strike next. Like, oh, that one, the gray one, I attack her next. Well, she's doing a lot

of her speed typing. She's doing it. Her typing was crazy. Typing. I'm typing. Look at me typing. And I don't know. She was tight either she was really typing fast or she was just doing this on the keyboard to look. It was like, look, busy, busy, work, work. It doesn't come to work in the full head to toe leather trench coat that they wear at desk at car wash. I'm so glad he knows that. She was typing so fast and I was like watching of course at like 1.5 or 1.75 speeds so I can get through it faster. So her hands were up I was like I just assumed it's because I was watching it fast. But I'm glad to see that on like normal speed that she was doing like fake typing or something. Yeah, I think she was just going like this over the keyboard.

Type fast fast, fast. I mean, how much content do you need to produce for a car wash? Was she writing a credible personal essay? Email. Yeah. What needs to be written? How much like it's like not only that something has to be written, but it has like there's so much of it that needs to be said that you got to type it as soon as possible. It's like, dear so and so, we are going to let you know you get $5 off your next windshield wiper repair. I mean like.

And by the way, those. Or you would not like to go from individual pee-wee car wash to premium monthly membership car wash? by the way we will get your wheels do those car washes have like an option for you to send a cruise liner through them why are those facilities so big when they showed an exterior shot i was like these car washes are enormous okay and they're like and they're like wondering why it's costing them like you know millions of dollars why they're like 28 million dollars in debt over these car washes it's because they are

fortresses no one needs a carwash to be that big like what are you spending your money on. They're putting the combines in there, probably. I was about to say, I actually was wondering if it was like agricultural. Like they're setting in my combines through that. Yeah. And also just the trucks there are so big. They're gigantic. They're all humongous. So who knows what they're putting through there. But do not forget, they also have to fit in. Makebees coffee shop. That's right. That could take. Like bring it. McBea's brew. Yeah. The finest, the finest brew. Well, they do that. Okay. Well, that explains it because if they have McBeed's coffee shop in the car wash, they're going to need at least one or two more stories to accommodate Christie's orders.

Exactly. Yeah, one of those whole rooms could just be one of Christy's lattes. Those lattes are like in a missile silo. It's just they need a lot of space to accommodate that frozen latte that she enjoys. Yeah. Well, they're making up a lot of stuff for this finale. We open with a scene of Galena fake typing. and then having a meeting with christie mcby i just wanted to come in see how everything's going

yeah go ahead tell me how you're doing how are you doing galena and she's like well you know steve he was handling so many things and now you know how he is prison so i'm glad i'm not the only one who knows how stephen is because this is difficult even from behind bars and you know that christie still does not like galena she just she just plays a long to get along, but we know that she doesn't like her because she did not bring an enormous styrofoam cup of coffee to her. So, Galina's like

even though Steve and I... Krisp doesn't hide it in her face. I don't think Christy can't hide it. She's got this thing like her piercing little eyes and her little tight teeth smiles. She just always looks like she wants to either hug somebody or murder them. I can't read her face. It's hard to read her face.

So I just I just pretend she's Tom Petty and thinks she's singing a song. So then Galena is like... It's as hard to read her face as it is for her kids to just read things. I like to say... Oh, wait. I can read her face. Her face is this. Boys will be boys. As long as the boys are happy. Golly, I don't...

Sure, I have my own business. That's very successful. And if I step away from it and focus on this one for too long, I risk losing lots of money over there and threatening the lives of my... my poor employees, but I got to do this for the boys. Yeah. I'm doing everything I can to just keep this going here. And Galena's like, yes, you know, it's like transition period, but the best thing we can do is come together and step up, you know, keep on washing.

Car wash, be car washing. You know what I say? Always be car wash is what I always say. Well, yeah, I appreciate you doing that, you know. And obviously, the way that you're stepping up and, you know, by coming to work, doing your job that you're paid to do. But, you know, obviously these businesses affect the boys. And I'm just worried about the boys because, you know, I'm just going to need you to, you know, focus, really, really focus and show up. Just keep coming to work.

Because they complain to her that this lady goes to Housewives parties on the weekends. And they're called weekends because that's what they're the end of the week where people do things that aren't work, you dicks. She's actively trying to have outreach with the rest of the Bravo communities. That way people understand why the hell this wretched show is on the network. And so, and meanwhile, she's sitting here coming in to lecture Galena about like too much travel when Chrissy's the one who bought sweets for all the boys to go to Vegas to quote unquote work when they literally didn't even go to Cowboy Christmas except for Stephen. And I want to be the only boy going to Catboy Christmas.

You know? Yeah. So I don't really lot of support. Stephen moving across the country to stalk some poor girl. instead of working and doing what he's supposed to be doing. I mean, give me a break, lady. I mean, Galena's typing like, she's like the valedictorian of Mavis Beacon University over there. Okay. Like, so give her a break.

Galena is the only one out of all of these people that we actually see working. I mean, the boys will fake it sometimes, like Cole does his, well, I just sold the bunch of silas to somebody, you know, I mean, I don't know how many gallons of grade they hold, but, you know, it was all my deal. deal or we see them try to pretend they're riding an tractor, but they don't even know how to open the doors. So please lay off Galena. She's the one who's actually at this fucking car wash all the time. I know, seriously. But also Galena, aim higher.

Aim higher. Like, I mean, just listening to what Ronnie just said. You're stuck at these car washes all day long. You deserve better in life. God, I hope she does move to Orange County to be friends with all the people that she is friends with. you know, like she moves there and then she shows up on the Orange County. Oh, really? What, you think you're some rich bitch.

You are better than me. I just want to see her take a crowbar to probably Vicki's truck at this point. But I'd take anybody. Yeah, anybody. I think she should open up like a cute little cafe in Laguna Beach or something. And they come in and she could be like, oh, hello, ladies. Oh, yes, I've got a Russian pastry here. And also normal sized lattes in protest to Christine McBee.

I want to see her be like full housewife. I want to see her pull a housewife storyline. Shit, go steal, can't steal a man. Go steal Johnny Jay. Johnny Jay. What's his name? Johnny Jay. Johnson.

Go get him from Alexis and let's watch, you know, or go move in like you did on this show, you know, with Stephen. Go have an affair with Johnny Jay and then, you know, take a, come on. Come on, Galena, please. Yeah, well. So, Christy lectures Galena in a sweet but condescending way. And she's, you know, this is where like, you know, she's like, oh, God, I never got anything to do the farms, but like the boys don't want this to affect the boys. I love that they're all willing to put lots of people out of work, like tons of people out of works that way Cole can save his house. Like, you guys can lose your houses, but Cole can't lose his enormous house.

with a layout like a wreck, like a wreck center, with a staircase that you can actually like walk on, like a staircase bridge that you walk under. Like this guy built a huge house beyond his means on land he couldn't even afford. So daddy had to buy the land. And he died even couldn't afford the land. So he bought, he built this whole thing out beyond the scope of his bank account

or whatever it is in his fucking portfolio. Now we can't, oh, oh, guess what? Can't afford it because I couldn't afford the land in the first place. And oh no, so guess what? That wasn't even the thing. He didn't even get a loan for the land. This is business. This is just business land.

He just built it on something that the business is owned. He just built it on. So he, because he was dumb, now all these people who work at the car washes are going to lose their jobs. And I don't care what's even says like, well, you know, leadership always wants to have someone on board for three to five years like a transition. I'm like they're fucking car washes. Leadership is already has, whoever's buying. these car washes already has a team that's just going to come in and lay off everyone. So it's like, it's all people.

It's not like some suckers coming in here like, how do I run a car wash? I hope we get someone who can top real fast in here. No, like Galena was not a car wash expert before she started working at the car wash. Galina figured it out. I'm not saying Galena's stupid. I'm not saying, oh, if even Galena could do it. I'm just saying like people will figure it out. And so I don't know, I just have like limited like, um,

I just have limited sympathy for Cole putting Galena in. Everyone else who works at these car washes out of business. I have to do your other assholes. But we'll get there soon because right now it's just about Christy saying, you need to come to work more and, you know, like maybe limit traveling and, you know, your credibility with the boys will get better. And she's like, well, this is awkward because Christy and I are just trying to make establish a friendship. But then I'm, you know, I'm offering to help the boys. and then Christie telling me what to do and how to do my job.

Yeah, but you guys can work together. Whatever you need help with, whatever the boys need help with. I just want these businesses to succeed. So just remember, these businesses are about helping cars be washed. The boys. It's about the boys. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Yes. Okay. Good night. Bitch. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a commercial.

time for a crappence commercial so now we got a braiden's house and everyone's there uh to talk about things and there's a america cheers as cole shows up hey everyone and so stephen is like well at least we're not out there planting a bunch of fields that don't make us money like we have in the past few years am i right so you admit that that was like so so now you admit that was like so now you admit that like what we were stuck watching you do for all this time was worthless. Thank you. Are you there? I'm here.

Oh, you got cut off for a minute. So now you admit that what? You know what? It's not even worth it. I got cut off by like fate from hearing me complain about the soybeans or whatever. Well, the first season was them not being able to make money farming. They couldn't make any money. So then Cole came in and was like, well, I'm going to, I think we should do some soybeans.

And they're like, soybeans. That is ridiculous. How dare you? I run this company. I do not approve of soybeans. And then Cole went behind his back and did a soybean deal anyway without anybody knowing, which is so stupid because like multiple people have to sign off on your soybean deal. But then he did a soybean deal and it actually made a little profit. So he's like, yeah, I can run this company because I'm a soybean, you know, acre or whatever. So yeah, they can't make money doing anything. They suck. That's the whole point of the show and why I love it. because they're like, we're the real American cowboys.

And they just fail at every single thing they do. And it's so hilarious. And every season starts the same way. How are we going to save this farm? We are going to do whatever we can do to save this farm. And every season ends with Stephen going, we are going to do whatever we can do to save this farm. And you just keep failing.

You know, I was watering my little garden box two days ago. And I have one of those. I have like a flexi hose that's like this soft lovely hose that's like it's so it's just it just works so nicely. And I turned on the hose and it had sprung a leak. I had never seen a hose spring a leak before. It had like two little things been psips. I was like, oh, that's weird, but I could still use it. Like it just was like a little sprinkler action.

And I was like watering the plants. And I was just like, as I was watering the plants, I was like looking at those leaks. And I was like, I just wonder how that happened. And then all the sudden, the whole thing went, and it just like, it went from being, just at all just like, it just like farted out water. And then like now the hose was just totally useless and had to be thrown out. And I was like, this is the McBee dynasty right here. This is a hose. This, it's a stupid hose that sprung some leaks.

You think, okay, I can get through it. Okay, it's fine. They can get through it. And now it's just like farted out water. And it's just like, it's just, and here they are. It's just like not being able to... It's a flexi hose that lasted about two minutes. These guys are just like, we don't know what we're doing.

We're just a shitty hose. It's just like a visual metaphor for these guys running their farm. Well, it's just they're terrible. So it's like, so now we're not, at least we're not planting fields anymore. You're about a farm. It's the McBee Farms. And Cole goes... Yeah, I think it's a...

It's a pretty dry year if you ask me, okay. So it's like, yeah, well, there's already. What's that? I said no one was, but that's okay. Yeah, I can tell you there's already been a weight lifted off my shoulders going into this year, knowing we don't have to worry about farming at a farm. And that feels good. Well, I don't know.

I mean, the weights lifted off, but there's other areas of stress that's now being put on me's because I got a house and I'm not, I don't know if I'm going to keep my land. what are we going to do about me keeping my land? I mean, we got many Thailand's and we got tallow business starting up, which is good, but like that doesn't happen overnight. So like it takes time and like, I don't know what's going to happen. It's actually really fun watching them jump the shark in real time. It's like you're literally a farm and you're selling off your farmland and you're investing in tiny cows and tallow.

And eventually later this episode of podcast studio. And I'm just like, oh, you guys are you guys are really circling the drain right. right now. They're just idiots. And also the car washes are the only businesses that they have up and running that we can see. I mean, don't forget about the weak company that they fucked up last year. They showed up late. Yeah. So, Cole's like, well, guys, I have something to tell you. I think we're going to get rid of these car washes because, you know, they just all our money from the car wash. You just started the car washes. That they're not going to be profitable right away. How about you give up your. house, why don't you downsize rather than scuttling off all the car washes? Now, admittedly, I have been on the record saying, why do they have car washes? But like, as long as you're making that investment look, you know, I don't want to be like some cost fallacy here, but like you made that investment knowing that's going to take some time to make money off it, what's wrong with you? Yeah, it seems like it's going to be the only one that's actually working. You know,

like, what do people need? A mini highland cow or a car wash? People need, they're going to keep going to the car wash, guys. Okay. Wait, what if you take your mini Highland cow to the car wash? It's a mini Highland cow wash. You just strap it into that like a bare belt thing. Send it through and the rags will go left and right and the swirly things will swirl around. And the cow will come out looking beautiful.

Sell them the cows and the wash to wash them. I think that's a really good idea. What if you put your car on the car wash? And while you're waiting, a little Highland cow comes out to greet you with a coffee attached to what's back from the counter. Yeah, we need some synergy here. Get it together, you guys. Fucking A. Or grow grains in the car wash.

I don't know. Precisely. You got all that water flowing. Put some seeds down. I feel like our ideas are better than anything that they've come up with so far on this show. Hold on. We have to consult with the real marketing genius here. Allie.

Yep, A plus. I proved this plan. So, Brayton is like, well, I thought we were planning on holding out car washes and trying to grow them and stuff. I mean, I'm the most involved brother with this side of the business. And I don't know if this is the right thing to do. I mean, we're doing everything we can to keep things pushing.

We can't just get rid of the car washes. We can't even sell them high. We're even going to get our money's worth out of what we built. So Stephen's like, well, we'll get our money back. But we wouldn't make any, we wouldn't be making any money on them. That's for sure. That's okay. Because we can spend, we can spend more time.

So Cole's like, yeah, but it pays off the day. And then suddenly tomorrow, then everybody's company's profitable. What companies? The cows in the tallow? I know. Your farmlands that aren't selling whatever they're growing. So Steve, we said, we sold them selling cows. earlier this season, but they were like, we're gonna get, we need to get $2,000 a cow in order to be profitable.

And they're like $1,200 a cow. Like, damn it. I well, better luck at Cowboy Christmas. You know, honestly, it's not a bad idea from Cole. We have nine locations with the car washes and they're worth $60 million to $70 billion. And we have $44 million of debt on those car washes. So that would be an additional $20-ish million that we'd have to pay off every other piece of debt we have a car washes. the entities and then or instead of paying off our debt we could buy a 20

million dollars worth of mini cows and then on top of that 20 billion dollars worth of cute little shoes from cowboy Christmas that we could put on the mini cows many cows and high heels I like it what we put blonde wig on them too oh god they're getting hot now I've got a new idea crocs for cats little tiny crocs that you put on cats So, so Braden's like, thanks for shutting down my section of the business. Really appreciate it. And Cole's like, I mean.

I think we don't see much of Braden, but he seems like the one who actually has to go to work too. Because he's like, uh, but guys, what about these car washes? And they're like, well, who needs a car wash? And he's like, well, then what are we going to do without the car wash? Well, we're going to, you know, do what we're going to do what we? normally do sell cows and he's like great so i'm going to be stuck up north in the freezing cold cleaning cow ship for the rest of my life yeah this was heaven to me do you understand sprang down the car before it went through the machine was like the best thing that ever happened

that was the most glamorous life i had ever chose i ever thought i was going to lead and now you're sending me back to cleaning up a cow shit in the winter just cuts it brayden just like walking like in a stone, like in days through the supermarket, just saying, would you like regular or would you like wax detailing? Wax detailing. He just wants to make that offer to people. It's like, I don't know that. Yeah, that's his happy life. Yeah. So, Carl's like, well, I'm going to be honest. I won't be sleep in my house. I won't wake up in my own house. You can get a different fucking house. Now you're going to, like you said before, you're going to put everybody else out at work. Oh, jeez, I hate this, selfish-ass family. You also don't live in a house. You literally live in a house. You literally live

in a community center. Okay. Yes. That is not a house. That is not a house. That is a place. With bedrooms built into it. People have 12-step meetings in that section over there.

We have a daycare in this section. This is not a house. Okay. This is a public building. Sometimes at the same time. Those kids are out of control at this point. You cannot tell me that that building that they call a house is a house. That is a piece of municipal architecture. Yes.

It's like a roller skating rink. It's not like that is like a that is like the the student union on a small school That's not a house Yeah, so Cole's like well I'm not gonna lose my house I'm gonna let go I'm gonna let Blair go through the oh for fuck sake You're Blair and your house your selfish asshole just fuck their doesn't care his kids Yeah, there doesn't care get just a simple two bedroom. It's fine Um, so Stephen's like, build a literal yard inside of your house for your daughter to go into because

your house is so enormous. That's, that means your house might be too big. Just get a smaller house, bro. Honestly, I've been quite frankly furious ever since I watched the episode last night and Stephen McBee Jr. walked in and he walked under the dual staircase. But he had like to get to the so, the quote unquote sofas,

just like Barka Loungeers like, well, like a line next to each other. I don't know. There was something about Stephen going under that staircase. I was like, why is this designed this way? I hate this. It's terrible. I hated it so much. I like never noticed it.

I was like, you guys just have like a dual staircase that comes up, but it's also open on the bottom. And it's like, but it's not really meant for walking under because you have to walk under. You have to like bend down to get under it. Like, why do you? Why? Why is it like this? Well, I wonder things like, why do I have to get a permit to fix my driveway and wait for the city and do all of this shit?

When you guys are just allowed to build houses however you want by yourselves, I don't understand. Like, is there no government in this town or nobody's stopping by? Like, hey, are these pipes connected correctly? Because you know they're not. Oh, oh, it's a shit showdown beneath those floorboards. I'll tell you that much. Yeah. Yeah.

So Stephen's like, well, the bank has a lien on Cole's house. And they also have two car wash loans. And I know that, you know, Casey's pregnant again. And God knows, you know, she'll probably be pregnant again tomorrow. And I can only imagine the pressure that's on your shoulders. So, you know, you're thinking, wow, well, I have a house for my family to grow up in. And Cole's like, yeah, we would be able, like, we'd be able to sleep again at night. That's what I want.

And I'd be able to, like, you know, not lay there at three in the morning staring at the feeling, thinking about the worst case scenario, actually be able to focus on the future. Cole, you are not. I'm going to tell you this right now. Cole is, he is snoring in that bad. Okay, he is not staring at the ceiling at 3 a.m. concerned about the future, wondering about, like, what's going to happen to this world? There is no Kindle ablaze in that house in the middle of the night because someone just can't stop their mind.

You know what I mean? Your mind hasn't started. Yeah. That's that. I'm just, I don't see that happening for you, Cole. I'm sorry. You punched a hill last year. I'm not imagining there's many, like, things that are happening up there.

So Braden's like, then he's like, and I've also decided it's probably time for us and Gleena to part ways, you know, and I don't see it happening without the car washes because these are all Golanus thing. And now the dad's gone, we need to get rid of these damn car wash. And Braden's like, wait, but dad, she's going to run to dad the second we tell her and dad's going to be pissed. She's going to go to prison and tell dad. Then what are we going to do? And they'll go, he's in prison. What's he going to do? These guys, these kids are.

And Stephen, Stephen, uh, senior is obviously a POS. So to even stand here and stand up for Stephen Jr. But, I mean, Stephen Sr. But you guys, the second your dad goes to jail, you sell off everything and get rid of everything that he's built poorly. But yes, oof. They say that they're so honest to family and this and that. You guys are not true to anybody.

Geez. Yeah, they immediately started doing all this stuff, dismantling this stuff. And they're acting like, well, he's locked up for life. He's coming out in two years at most, because we all know he's just like a rich white. He's a rich white guy in prison. They'll, he'll be out in like three months. Yeah. Yep, pretty much.

I don't know. I don't know what is going to do. Oh, we'll see when he gets out. I want another season just so Steven Sr. will come back because now that he's not, he's not on trial or whatever, then he would probably shoot again and come rip them a new one. And I'd love to see it. It's been a big miss not having him on the show.

He was the whole thing. Yeah. How are we going to do to please daddy? He's like, nothing. Bunch of losers. He'd pit them all against each other. Oh, so good. I miss you, big guy.

Mm. Well, his, his absences felt deeply. Um, it really is. Yeah, RIP. RIP. Um, so where are we, uh, they still are trying to sell off the, the car watch. Basically, they decide they're going to sell everything and get rid of Golina. So we go to Jesse and Allie's farmhouse. And Jesse is continuing his home update. And, uh, which is by the way, terrible. And, um, Jake's like, well, I missed a few spots. I honestly thought you was sitting there watching football. I didn't know you was out here doing a whole home renovation project. you're doing or look at you. We know where to watch football in here. So he's like, Jesse's like,

yeah, well, with everything happening up here, I wanted to make sure that Ali felt comfortable staying here with summer. So you know what they say? Paint a wall,

a shade of beigey yellow, and a lady will be happy. There you go. It's kind of like a darker baby blue. It's, oh, I couldn't tell what paint was coming on, what one was coming off.

Yeah, I think some of it. of it is like a dark cream, but a lot of it is that baby, like dark baby blue. They love that blue. It's just, they love that blue. As we sit here with our craft is on demand with basically all shades of like McBee blue, but they love like that kind of like Robbins Egg blue on their walls. Like we do not have McBee blue. How dare you? You're right. You're right. But we do have a wall of blue. Every color on the internet right now is better than that color. Okay. Yeah. But I just remember last year, like Casey and Cole, their house just had that like weird blue color on it that I could not stand on there.

Every single wall was sort of like sky blue. It just looked so terrible. It's clung with me. I thought, I thought things would be better in the new home, but once I really started to internalize that they live in a community center, just this vast open concept with a strange dual staircase. case, I do pine for the blue walls again. Yeah, well, they're terrible. And Allie comes in and Jesse standing on the ladder.

And it's like, oh, hello. So what are you doing in here? You're remodeling our house without telling me? Oh, wow. Also, it shows you the last time she's even been to this place. Yeah, he's been doing this for a while. There's a lot done. Yeah, she clearly does not come often because he, he's like,

I want to surprise Ali would. the remodel. I'm like, wow, so she must really not come up here if you have enough time to do a remodel, and it's actually still a surprise. So he's like... And she doesn't fall all over herself excited, and so he takes it as a huge rejection, but she's got a good point. I mean, she's very passive, aggressive about it, but she's like, oh, well, show me the bedroom. Oh, and he goes, you like it, does it look good? She's like, well, I mean, you're choosing all the colors and all the fixtures and everything in it. So, you know, it's all up to you. So we'll see how it turns out. Yeah, because at one point, like it's a surprise. This isn't trading spaces. This is her home too.

Like she's walking in. You choose everything. You have control over every single thing. And you're like, why aren't you happy? Meanwhile, there's shit all over her house. She can't bring the baby over now because the baby's going to breathe all this shit in. Yeah. But of course, she doesn't really have a wide range of emotions except like non-blinking smile and like like passive aggression. Okay. This wide-eyed smile. 10 days of intimacy. Oh, well, you pick up every.

They sure look like expensive fans. Do they? Do they? It's a shitty Home Depot fan with a cage around the lights, you know, where they, like an underground mine that they put the cage around the lights. It's like the lights that they put up in the, in the scaffolding, you walk. under in like in New York City. Yeah.

It's just they've made that their decor. Are you afraid that the light is going to run away? What do we do in here? Is the light about to go play lacrosse? Yeah. Is the light trying to protect its nuts from something? Like, what are we doing here? So, Ali's like, I'm really happy that Jesse's renovating the house.

I was communicating to him that I wanted some changes made at the farm house. So he listened to me in that aspect. But this is going to fix our relationship by renovating the house. I don't think so because I still need them to focus on quality time together. And that's what we need right now. And I'm just going to smile with the pain. I was hoping she'd be real enthusiastic and being real disbelief about it. But I guess I just can't do anything, right?

No, you're controlling fuck. You should ask her what she wants and what color and, like, hand her some samples. Like, make her a part of it. What an ass. Here's a better idea. Burn your fucking house down. Just get rid of it. Get rid of it.

Okay? Get rid of it. And here's some more advice. Get somebody in your town. Find somebody anybody. Maybe even if you have to go a couple of towns over. They're called architects. Okay.

And if you can't find that, okay, just flip through a little further in the phone book and search for gay. Just look for gay. Just find a gay. Somebody. Or just. Just move into the car wash. So now we're at Stephen Jr.'s And we see a toiletry bag and it says Allie on it.

But we're not totally sure who it belongs to. Just kidding. It's Ali. She's doing her makeup. So after, I love this. This is so Mick B Dynasty. We sit through last week. Well, Allie's moving to Texas.

Won't be seeing Allie for a while. God, I'm going to miss Allie. It's just so sad she has to move to Texas. The sad thing about Ali moving to Texas is that, you know, she's just going to be outside of the mind. I'll never see her again. cut to this episode. Allie's just there putting on her makeup in Stephen's house.

I was like, okay. Allie's back. Allie heard it was season finale time and got her ass back here. It's like, I'm not loosened out on this. So she's sitting there on the floor putting on her makeup. And Stephen's like, well, you know, Allie, she just happened to be on a work trip that was passing through Missouri. So she stopped over in the middle. Oh, okay.

Just what everybody does, that easy, that simple layover in Missouri. It's easy layover in in gallatin. So a lot of flights make LA over there. So she's like, Are you glad to be back in Missouri? She's like, I feel like a bowling ball this morning, which I have no idea what that means. Did she?

I don't either. I mean, I know her name is Allie, but do you, I don't know, she's going to try to form some sort of bowling alley joke there. Honestly, I realized it wasn't worth it. It just wasn't worth it. Like she was crashed around a lot. People kept putting fingers in her holes.

Like, I don't know. Nothing about bowling or something. Did you throw yourself out of turkey? That doesn't make sense. You'd get a turkey. Did you get a turkey last night? As Galena threatened to throw you through a car windshield if she doesn't get her way? Like, what are we going for here?

Did a big metal thing sort of usher you on its way? And then you end up in a tunnel and you were in the darkness and you're like, what's happening? And then you suddenly emerge and you were where you started and you're like, how did that happen? well it's relieving to know that the house is pretty much moved into and uh huh and he's like yeah so he's like well obviously the first trip down to visit your family through a little bit of wrench in my initial timeline because i was planning on us getting married and now it'll have your dad's you know now have to question the decision and when i want and i when i know what i want and i see it i grab it by the throat I take it, I put it in a cage, and I say, stay, wife, stay.

You know, maybe you should question that philosophy, because last time I checked, you now have a bunch of tiny cows. Exactly. What did I see what I want? I get it. Yeah. Well, I don't want to have a timeline. I don't like to think in a timeline or ponder about it or think about whether it's the right decision or not.

We know, bro. You know, I just make a decision and I go with it. I'm already, but for this one, I'm moving to Texas and we're going to be together and I'm spending all my time with you. And she's like, uh, whoa, that's a massive decision. And this show is almost done filming possibly forever. So, yeah, I'm not really sure about that. It's really important to me that my mom likes my boyfriend. She probably doesn't like you.

Yeah, I don't. I think maybe we should take a step back from this. Got it. We'll take a step forward. Okay, does your mom like a mini cow? Because we got one reserved for her. Listen, my gut, I think is always right. What I want something, I'd do it.

And there's nothing about having $40 million of debt that will tell me otherwise. And so, Ali's like, yeah, but if we move in together and we talked about maybe getting engaged, I just feel like after meeting my family, my family hates you. Okay, when you threw my dad up against the kitchen wall and clutch his neck and said, you better fucking give me your blessed before I fucking marry your. daughter because I'm going to do it no matter what the fuck you say he just really didn't like that in fact everyone's really weirded out by that so yeah yeah like um i think my mom can sense like there's something like er i don't know like i she described i'm trying to think of the words she used it was um really poetic tiny dick droid rage i don't know i think we just i guess they just were like a little concerned when you took the refrigerator and like threw it over on its side and everything

him tumbling out and then you stomped on all the mustard jars. I think they just didn't quite understand that. And I just have to explain to them that that's just something you do. Yeah. So she's telling us she's spent too much time worrying about boys and going too fast with boys. And it's been boys, boys, boys. So now she's going to move in with her sister. And she wants to do that.

So she's like, uh, maybe I don't know about this. And he said, well, it's weird for me because we'd live together for two months. We've been on a TV show together. Nothing says staying together forever like being on a television show. I'm Bravo. Yeah, I think I just feel like a little dumb. I'm like, that's okay. We've, we're just happy that you finally joined us in our assessment of you.

Well, at least we're all on the same page here. So she's trying to cry in the, in the, in the, confession. She's like, um, but she does it where she's just touching her eye. she's touching her under eye and I guess like getting the tear, but there's never anything wet here or in her eye. She just keeps going, yeah, well, it's just that like, I feel dumb and I'm just not used to people. Like, everybody told me how he was, but I'm not really sure that I knew that he really is how he is, like with his anger and stuff. I'm like, you're going to get pink eye. Please stop this. She's just very literal about feeling like a bowling ball. She's like,

she's honestly just trying to put her fingers into the holes. She's like, why can't I grab my bowling ball self? So he gives a speech where he's like, yeah, but earlier, you said that you were the kind of person that's like out of sight, out of mind. So I'm worried that that means if I'm out of your sight, that I'll be out of your mind. She's like, yeah, that's, I mean, basically what that means, which is why I want you out of my sight to understand. Okay, so you're saying that there's a chance that we're still going to get married. She's like, well, like, it's really important that my mom cares. So my mom likes you.

So because of my mom, I think we should just learn from the past. So basically, I think she just said, we're going to take a step back, right? Yeah, she's basically like my parents didn't like you. And I'm not going to say that on camera, but they didn't like you. And now it has me questioning because my last. relationship was shitty. So I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing. And I have decided that I need to make sure that there's like not a craven monster inside of you. So we're going to take it slow. Exactly. If I think that you're like, okay. And that was like a freak occurrence,

then we can go forward. But like if this is just the way it's always going to be, then bye. Yeah. And it must have been really bad over there. Whatever happened in Texas must be a lot worse than they're saying because they're just saying, oh, he was a little stressed and distant from everybody because of all the business stuff. But we know he doesn't do business stuff. So I don't know if he had a fit over there or gotten a fight with the dad or cursed her out in front of people or what happened. But it was bad. And it sounds like she's just saying, I want to take more time. But he takes that as like, well, I had the rest of my life planned out. And we were going to get married and we were going to have kids. Now I just feel stupid. Now I got dumped on TV. You're not going to marry me. It's like it's all or nothing.

you know yeah oh he's just like desperate to cling on to something like i think he's trying to construct an image i think he has an idea of like like what his life looks like and it's like not coming to fruition he's getting frustrated with it and by the way what happened in texas honestly may not have in my mind i'm thinking he got into a fight with her or the family or something it could have just been that he was raving like a lunatic after that meeting uh or raving at bravo or whoever he could have just been on the phone just making a fool of himself but Across the board, you just know everyone was like, this guy's like weird.

I mean, if you're meeting the entire family over Thanksgiving and like the simplest thing you have to do is make a good impression and you can't even control yourself. Like, you need to really work on some shit. Not good. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So now we go to Casey and Allie walking around.

This episode relies heavily on Casey and Allie. And two most charismatic people on Bravo. It's a lot of, it's a lot of lack. It's a lot of lacking of Chris. This is a sad scene. Yeah, lack. Lack is the great. It's just lack.

Yeah. It's lack. Nothing but lack. But this is a sad scene because, first of all, not even the mini highlands care about these two. They go over. They go, look at the mini highlands. And mini islands are like, mm-mm.

Don't even come over. Yeah. And they're like, well, we'll pretend we have food. Come on. cows, we've got food. They're like, no, no. They basically are like, um, the girls are kind of like, thank God I have you.

Like, well, first of all, we're raised the next generation that's going to take care of these, these cows slash maybe car washes that they're existing. So probably just the cows. And then Allie's like, she's like, you know, it's hard to get through here being a woman with his family, like navigating it by yourself. So to have you is like huge. Plus, for me, it's like a lot. I'm like, please just speak in a smooth sentence for once.

But like, it made me so sad for them. They have no one. They're isolated away and they just are stuck with each other. These guys don't pay them any attention or give them any respect. And they just have to go along and raise the next generation of the mini cow feeders. Yeah. And they're like, what are all these businesses we're doing and nobody, like, they don't even talk to us about it. And like, um, and then Casey goes, yeah, I think that.

girls should take over the farm. Oh, what a dream. A farm with no farming. This farm doesn't have anything. What are you talking about? I think you, I wish her dream would be like, I want my girls to take over the bus stop and wait for a bus that takes them to school and educates them of things that are beyond this farm. Because, you know, like, I want to hear something of like, I have a dream that my daughter will escape this place and get the hell out of here. Because we're missing. miserable, but they're like, yeah, we're miserable here. I can't wait till our daughters are miserable here, too. Like, come on, guys. Aim, aim up.

Like, literally aim up. Like, I'll be happy if Casey's new dream is just to see a second mountain, okay? Like, just anything, anything but this farm. Yeah, so. And they're boring as fuck, but they seem like nice girls, you know? And it's like, ugh. And I actually have a, I have a weird thing where I like a really boring reality star sometimes. Like, I love a very, like, normal person who's, like, not meant for reality TV because they're usually, like, very boring.

boring at first, but then layers start to come off. And you see they're actually often more interesting and complex and complicated than like someone like Ali, who's just craft herself for TV. And they're just like, just like a persona that they just put on. But I never quite got there with these two. I was like, I was waiting, wait to be like, ooh, can't wait to see the inner workings of these two and see what's really going on. And there's like nothing there.

It's like very sad. Yeah, it's depressing. So Casey has decided that she's going to stand up for herself. in her tallow business. This is the basic ending of that. It's a very long scene where nothing happens. So then we go to Cole and Casey's home. Yes.

I am going to win in this tallow business. It's like, good for you, you know. I mean, I feel bad for all the cows who losing their kidneys, whatever the fuck this is, but, you know, good for you. So then we go to Colin Casey's home and there's an ultrasound photo of the new baby, and she's, you know, making a hand signal for like, like she's blinking twice like how's the picture moving yeah and uh this is where steven walks in and walks under the staircase and then he picks up blair who's like who the fuck is this

and then cole is like everything all right and he's like well i figured i'd come over and tell you guys that i'm not going to texas and christie looks like like gutted she's like oh i mean she has this look on her face like this who like who who dared cause heartache for one of my boys because boys will be boys and you're not allowed to make the boys upset okay it's their way or the highway well you know that christie has done this whole routine a million times where stephen finds some blonde girl that he's going to marry and it's everything and it's his whole plan and then he come and they have to pretend they like the girl and then things happen bad and then christie has to turn right into the villainizing the girl part.

And so she's already ready. But she's so happy that he's not leaving and she's trying to hide it. But she's like, oh, wow, you know, people do break up. It happens all the time. Don't even worry about it. People date. They break up. Yeah, people, you know, it's just what happens in a relationship.

You get into relationship and then some people just pray, yeah, that's fine. And her voice is so high pitched and loud. You can tell that she's just psyched. But also that, like, the way Stephen pitches it, too, is kind of fucked up because he's like, he's like, well, you know, like, I, you know, I think she was like, I think we should slow down a bit. And it's like, taking up a bit of, it's tantamet emotional toll on me, okay? Because if we slow down, that means that we ride our adrenal slower. If we write our adrenal slower, that means that we won't be able to have time to work on our memberships because we're writing our journal so slowly. I can't do that.

He's like, I thought I was up and moving to Texas for a bit. It's just embarrassing because we did come on so hot and heavy. And then Christy's like, well, I fell for it too. Like, Ali had, had, like, manipulated them and had, like, done some sort of, you know, misdirection, deception. I mean, Ali may have, may have oversold her feelings for Stephen, probably to be on TV. I'm not usually conspiratorial, but Ali is sort of giving that vibe. But, like, please, this is, this is Stephen being a crazy person. They're both that type, you know?

It's like, she wants to go on his TV show, of course. I think that's natural. and I think he likes the fact that she's an influencer and has all these followers and she's kind of famous. And, you know, they both like that, I think, about each other. But Christy, yeah, her auto turned into villainizing the woman is that line. That's what I thought, too, where she's like, yeah, I fell for it too. Uh-oh, Stephen Jr. tricked by another Jezabelle. Another Jezabelle.

Cole's like, dude, people break up all the time. They meet people and you have fun for a few months and you can be thankful. for it. It's sort of like how I went from Kool-Aid to grape soda. You know, sometimes you just have fun with one thing for a little bit. And you go to the next, right? And Chrissy's like, yeah. There are some people who just have a fun time and then that's it. I mean, I wouldn't know. Me and Casey met in the first grade and we've still been together ever since. But Jesse, you know, he wouldn't know about it either. They met in kindergarten. They're still together kind of mostly some of the time. But, you know, we don't know what this is like. But yeah, I hear about it on the internet. People, people meet. And then they get, they, they, they break up. And they meet other people. And then Chrissy is telling us, she's just like nodding at us the entire time. Like, she just was like nodding the entire time. She's like, you know, I know he's really ready to settle down and start a family. And I thought, you know, he had me, you know, he had met the right person and it would be his lifestyle.

And it didn't end up happening. I'm like, Chrissy, are you on like at the back of a wagon? Why is her head shaking so much when you're telling us? She's like, nodding. You'd be like, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. It's like, you don't have to, you don't have to nod for us. like we we don't care if it's okay or not.

Well, we just started off so strong. And I thought, you know, we both got caught up in it. And we thought we were going to get married and settled down. But then real life happened real quick, you know. Well, real life is you losing your temper and freaking out and treating people like, yeah, like asking people like shit, Stephen. Come on. Chrissy's like, it's just disappointing. I think I was caught up in this fairy tale world too.

And I think I just want it so bare. for Stephen. I'm like, Chrissy, you got to get yourself a hobby. Like, Mahjong, just find, read an old-time magazine, anything. Like, you're way too wrapped up in your son's love life. And if you want it so bad for, I mean, Christy's been on the receiving end of Stephen's attitude. We saw it on TV where she stood up to him about one little thing. He's like, how dare you? You know, so if you really want better for Steven, suggest therapy, not dating. Yeah. So, Christy's like, selfishly, I'm glad you're you're not going away. Blair, Blair's glad too. In case he's like, yeah, Blair, Stephen's staying. Yeah, Uncle Steven's staying. Blair's like, I just shot my pants. That's all I care about right now.

Could you please change me? Blair's like, okay, here's my first words, everybody. I would like to take a step back. Okay. Blair's finally walking, but it's back. It's backwards. Blair's like, can I move to New York? And then, of course, Casey is here, too. And she's just, like, rolling her eyes and smiling. Like, she just, she's like, told you so. And I thought, well, surely she's not just going to start it.

And I told you so thing. Because who does that when someone just gets dumped? But of course, Casey's like, mm-hmm, told him so. I, she does, if anyone deserve to do it, was Casey. I was glad. She was right. It's the first glimmer of personality we've seen in her in two years. Yeah.

as her being so happy. So she's like, well, I mean, I do feel happy that he, I mean, I do feel bad seeing him upset about his breakup with Ali, but it shows me exactly why I don't want Allie involved in the tallow business. Yeah. So now we go to Stephen Jr.'s house and sick, his dog is in the truck. And he's like, the last 48 hours with Ali, I've been on roller coaster ride. we've had some very, very, very tough conversations about our relationship.

They're not been tough. It's her saying, I'm moving to Texas. Stop following me. It's a very, well, yeah, dry conversation. And you're saying, me too. And her saying, no, you're not. Okay. I told that.

I told Ali, I was like, I want to come Texas. And she's like, well, I told Stephen exactly what I was going to do with my move, like going to Texas, building my business is, which maybe I don't know what my business is, but I'm going to build it. And I'm just, like, scared that he. expecting me to like drop all that and just like fully immersed my life. I'm like, she's like, basically like, I'm not doing this. No. Goodbye.

Yeah. So then Galena goes into chicken coop. She's like, can I have my eggies or you will die? They're like, okay. They just start shooting eggs out. Yeah. For chickens. They're all terrified of Galena.

We told stories about Galena. Our great, great, great, great, great grandmother, ginger. wrote a text warning us of Galena. Yeah. They see Galena coming. They're like, don't make eye contact. So then we randomly see Braden, Jesse, and Jake just shirtless in like a hot tub. But Jake is holding a chicken, which seems on brand for him.

And he's going to protect the chicken from Galena, I guess. Yeah. He doesn't want her to choke the chicken before they all choke. each other's right in that hot tub. Jake's like, yeah, there's three guys in a chicken and hot tub. Nothing to say here. So then we go to Stephen Jr., his house, and it's a meeting with him and Casey. And Casey just walks in like, hi, told you so.

Would you light something to drink? Yeah, I'd like a told you so on the rocks. It'd be great. Told you so. Loser. And then he takes Casey like through this like, quite frankly, it's like a serial killer basement. It's just like plastic hanging and drywall.

It's definitely the thing where like it's like Jody Foster will be going through there and being stalked in like night vision glasses and getting caught up in the plastic. But then. Something nobody ever wants to hear a Stephen Jr. say, want to come see my basement? I know. And Casey is the type of go, sure. And in case he does sort of look like the lady in the well. So she does.

So they go and I have to say the first thing I've ever been impressed with this show, Stephen has built a really good podcast studio. I was so jealous. I was like, this fucker has a good podcast studio. That's not fair. It was so good. The wood paddling, the little lights on the side, the little panel, the roadcaster, the chairs, the space, the carpet. I was like, fuck you, but you're a good podcast studio. I'm so mad. A little studio. It was so good. So she's like, well, you know, I told you about this thing with Allie, because you were going to give her a, 20% of the Tala business. I didn't want you to do that. So I'm glad you see that I was right. And he's like, yes, yes, Casey. Yes, yes. I get it.

You're right. It's like, yeah. So like with the Tala thing, I was Roy. And so, basically, Stephen's like showing her like the whole, the Soul studio. And he's, and Casey goes, well,

now that you and Allie broke up, who's going to be the co-host for the podcast? And like, were Stephen and Allie going to be doing a podcast together? Or was it going to be Casey and Alley? It was going to be like Talot Talk? Today on Talot Talk, well, we killed another cow and we got more tallow. You want to put on your face, Alley? Still can't get him any Highland to come close to me, but my poorest let good.

I think the podcast, they did a, but they do a podcast. I don't know if they do it still, but I remember they were doing a podcast because I saw a little clips from it. But no, it wasn't Ali. It was Stephen. It was the family. I think it was like Stephen and his mom, and about how his mom will go off, tell off commenters and stuff, because she gets really mad about people being mean to her family.

So Stephen McBee co-hosts the weekly podcast, more than McBee alongside Ali Eklund. So that was. So he was doing it with Allie. Oh, there we go. So I guess they were back together. I mean, the show is so fake. Like, I just looked up if the car washes were sold,

and they said the car washes weren't sold. And I read that Galena still works there. And Allie and this guy stayed together because they broke up at that stagecoach festival when he was putting out those disgusting, when he sent her all those disgusting texts. Like, you whore, you slut. And all of that stuff. So, I don't know, I think it's all just kind of fake. But I buy it while it's here.

That's why I Googled everything to find out if it's real. Yeah. So Stephen is like. You know, I'm just someone that jumps in with both feet forward with someone that's just like, come back to buy me and a couple of times. Like, me and times. I mean, with the tallow business, I feel you. Cole and I, like, taking it on together. Like, we really blow this thing up.

Like, we can blow up the tallow. We could just take a bunch of tallow and just detonated. Like, put a bomb in the tallow. And guess what? We maybe we'll put some, like, we could either put some pink or some blue in that tallow too. It could be a gender reveal, genderial tallow. Oh, my God. It's all coming together.

Now, this is why I'm jumping to two feet. Stephen, stop declaring that you jump in with, like, both feet first. with like both feet first whenever you have an idea as if this is some verge. I mean, this is the most straight white guy thing of all time to be like, I have a thought about something. I'm just going to motor forward with it because I know I'm right because I'm told that I'm right. So therefore, you all have to get on board with what my stupid destructive thought is

because I'm right and it's up to you to cater everything to me. Like that is the epitome of this. And the fact that he keeps on like declaring that he's just the sort of guy that when he it's an idea, he just goes for it. Like, this is actually a great thing, instead of actually putting some, like, critical analysis into your decision, or weighing some pros and cons,

or think about how it could impact people, you know? It's like, maybe with certain things, it's like, hey, are you gonna make chicken tonight or steak? You know what, I'm gonna have chicken, I'm not even think about it, I'm just gonna make chicken. Sure, I love the mentality for that,

a decisive dinner. Before we're like business, where people are involved, like, it's okay to like pump the brakes a little bit. Or, like, think about things for a minute. I mean, we've seen so many delusional people succeed on Bravo. So it's not the delusion. I mean, there are so many people who are like, I'm going to do this thing. Like, I'm going to be a singer. Look at Countess Luann. Canna's

Canna Sluen can't sing. And she's like, I'm going to be a cabaret star. And she's delusional. And she she thinks she's the most amazing singer on the planet. And she's still doing well. I mean, she's still selling out tours. I mean, she's killing it until she made it. So, right. But there are so many people who are delusional and who do well, but they stick with something and they work. Stephen doesn't. He just throws these ideas that tells everyone else. I to do them and then leaves and then comes back and it's like why is it a failure like they don't stick with anything so but then he but then he but then he like wraps himself up in this mythology of like i'm just this guy who just jumps in head first and someone wasn't ready and i i get my

heart broken because i jump in head first and then people don't jump in the same way and then i get hurt and i it's like no like you don't get a sob story because you were stupid like you don't get a sob story for like if you run into traffic because you decided that was the moment you wanted across the street i'm not going to be like oh look at that guy he follows his heart like you ran into the street frog the street frog or like wait your turn yeah one other person has a choice whether they want to be in the relationship too like you have to ask them like he didn't even ask her he wasn't like hey so you're moving to texas i've really loved spending time with you and i was thinking maybe i could you know what do you think about me coming down there and spending

more time there. He's just like, I'm thinking I'm moving to Texas. She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, he just decided. I mean, admittedly, it also kind of felt fake. Like this, I mean, this is obviously like a reality TV storyline that was like concocted. But like, still, like you don't get a metal because you decided to to plunge forward in a stupid idea. So as far as this business, he tells her, okay, I've decided you can do what you do best, which is, I guess, make talos and put stickers on And then I'll do what I do best. And she's like, the internet part. He's like, yeah, the internet part.

He's not going to do that. He hasn't done anything for this. So she's happy as pie. So now they can actually get to work, guys. What a partnership. Now, let's go down to the big city, okay? Is that the sound of an ambulance and a fire truck going by? The clatter of heels on the sidewalk.

The sound of a subway rumbling. under the surface. That's right. We're at Alley's City House, and she's ready to go out on the town. She has put on her finest leopard print skirt, and she's going to go and join her plethered up ladies as they leave the cul-de-sac and go to the bar at the end of the cul-de-sac. Watch out, city people. She's here. I actually thought the ladies look kind of cute. The most problems I have on the show are the men's fashion. The men going out in Vegas was one of the funniest thing. Oh, that was awful. coming out in slow-mo with those like southwestern patterns and all the bright colors, I was dying

laughing. But this scene, you know, I really do, I talk like I'm so cynical, but I do fall for everything because they showed Jesse lying on the bed in glasses, and I was like, oh my God, I love him now, he's so smart. He has glasses. Look at him, reading Chaucer.

So, but then that made me, All he had to do was open his mouth. And I was like, fuck this guy. Because she's like, I'm going out. I'm going out for girls. And I can stay with the baby. And he's like, no, me, you stay with the baby with me.

I'm not doing that alone. She's like, no, you do it. You're the dad. You can do it. And he's like, what if she poops? Do you forget that just a couple episodes you were trying to convince us that you were Mr. Mom, putting the video on the baby. So you saw her on your phone every two second, the baby monitor or whatever?

Now we find out. You won't even change the damn baby diaper. Jesse. Fake it better, babe. These are guys that literally handle cattle and cattle shit and killing cattle and butchering and planting soybeans and mini highlands. They are dealing with things that are so like, it's like baby poop on that much larger scale. And it's like, oh, no, a tiny baby may poop into something that is designed to catch the poop.

What do I do? What do I do? I'm not used to dealing with feces. Now, excuse me while I go walk in cow manure. Yeah, the other part of their business is like, wait until the live, wait until we slaughtered a cow, skinned it, pulled all the meat off it, and then have the parts left over to squeeze with our hands until we make tallow that Casey can mix some vanilla into. And then we can sell that. Baby poop. Disgusting.

We just saw you inseminate a cow. Okay? I think you can have a little diaper. I'm never going to forget that. You can handle a diaper. I'm not saying it's pleasant. I'm just saying relax. Yeah.

So he's doing the typical like, oh, man, I have to babysit my baby. It's not called babysitting when you're the dad. So it's that kind of deal. And Allie's like, I want to see more effort from Jesse. Babe, you've never gotten effort from Jesse. Jesse is not going to just suddenly one day wake up and sprout effort. He's not a seed.

He's Jesse. You're trying to get water from a dead well, okay? You're trying to pull water from a stone. Go to a different well. It's just, it's not going to happen. He used up all his effort when he built that octagonal arch for your wedding, and now it's done. So then Casey. Even that was a season long.

What? How do I build the octagon? Octagon. Or even getting him to the to get him to be married, you know. It's just it's too much. It's too much. So anyway, she goes out. You know, she has put on like a cute little leopard skin, something another.

And so she walks out and she meets up with Tegan and Casey. And they go to, they're going to go out to a bar. They go to a brightly lit sports bar. They turn on every light in the sports bar. And they just like sit in the corner of the bar like right by the bar. the front door and they're just like, well, we did it. But they drive over there first. They have a conversation in the car.

This is the longest scene I've ever sat through on Bravo. And I do stand up for this show a little and say, you know, it's fun to watch because at least it's messy and whatever. But this is painful. So they get in the car and they're talking about Ali's terrible relationship. Which, by the way, we should mention that Tegan got Ali a dildo and Ali was like, oh my God. and she got embarrassed. It gets people like, you forgot about the dildosy.

It was noted. It was hilarious. Continuing on. Then they go to the bar and talk about nothing and then talk about her terrible relationship some more. And I just, I've already heard about your terrible relationship too much. And I'm just going to say it again, go to a different well. Okay? You don't deserve any of this, but you're not going to get anything from the soda machine is depleted.

Go to the next one. The ice cream machine at McDonald's is broken. Go to the next McDonald's. Okay. Don't just sit at the drive-thru. Are you just going to skip over the part where they propped up a phone on the hood of their car and did a TikTok? Because that was pretty exciting. Literally.

I saw the scene come in my notes and just went, V-Zoop. M-Zoop. V-Zo-Joop. Oh, man. Yeah, they just have a very sad girl's night. Like, I wanted them to have, like, a crazy fun girl's night. Get drunk.

Like, woo! But they're just, like, sitting there like, mm-hmm. You know what was missing. Masha. Where's Masha been? You talk about the terrible storytelling on this show often. That was a big one. Masha's gone now.

That's it. I mean, I know it's because Steve McBee, senior, went to jail, but you guys have been trying to push a Masha storyline this entire season. No, they don't know what they're doing with this show.

Like, like, there's just no through lines. The one possibly interesting twist that Allie started creating rumors that Stephen and Casey were like up to no good together potentially having a fair they like introduced that like the third to last episode and they wrap it up at the beginning of the next episode it's just like it's it's like they're

they just don't even know what they're doing did they didn't even wrap up they just agreed to say they don't want to talk about anymore yeah oh god all right so now let's go to the mcbate car wash um this monstrosity you're right this thing is huge it's huge it's enormous um so So the brothers are in the car. They're all sitting there in the conference room. And Stephen's like, any last minute thoughts? Has there ever been like a first minute thought? That's what I'd like to know.

By the way, how much does Cole owe on his house that they need to get $40 million? Anyway. Well, I think that all the land is going to get seized. I think that's the issue. Yeah, I think they're trying to get this. I think they're trying to kind of down. downplay this, be like, well, it's just to save Cole's house. You're all fucked. And I thought that Jesse was in trouble, too, uh, with this stuff. You know what? Keep, keep, keep talking.

I'm going to look this up. Uh, anyway, um, so they go, okay, they bring in, they're bringing in Galena. And they're like, well, rose is red, boughs are blue. Car wash the road. We're getting rid of you. And she's like, wait, but what, but the, well, the thing is, this. We know this your livelihood. We know you put in all this time and effort into it. But Cole decided to build a house out land that wasn't even his. And that house is more important. So, bye. Okay. So here's, here it is. And this is from the progressive farmer.com.

Lincoln, Nebraska, Gallatin, Missouri. Slot. Okay. They say Lincoln, Nebraska, dash, dash, Gallatin, Missouri. Okay, so everybody got their locations? Okay. Farmer and reality TV star Steve McBee and his sons, Cole and Jesse, are scheduled for trial in a lawsuit alleging the father fraudulently transferred assets to his sons to avoid paying a court judgment in his crop insurance fraud case. So this is for 2027. Yikes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, it's okay. It was important. Again. Say it again. Say it again. I got a text in the middle of it. Jesse Cole and the dad have to go to trial in 27 because he is being accused of illegally transferring properties into their names to avoid them getting caught up in his last trial, basically. So he didn't want to pay, you know, in the judgment or whatever, he didn't want to have to use any, he didn't want to lose anything. So he transferred everything illegally into their name. So now they're fucked. Let me tell you something. If we could get some competent production values and, like, decent storytelling on the show, I'm all in. I'm all in and watching this fraud situation going on.

I hated the first season of Real Housewives of Dubai. And there were like two or three, maybe even four. There were like three seasons of New Jersey that I hated deeply, deeply, deeply. And then, you know, like, I loved the second season of Dubai. I thought New Jersey then became, you know, for me, a preemps. season of premium show like these shows can become amazing even something as dreadful as this one could become amazing if you've got like this shit on the horizon i'm gonna say bravo for you're bring it back bring it back but like get get like your get the proper people behind like this is just like and i'm not it's like no shade to the production company that made this show because they've done a lot of other shows they know what they know what they know what to if they know what to do for bravo i think this is just not that something's like something's like like not connecting here, put like the, put the rony people on this show, the old school rowdy people.

Like, put the Salt Lake City people on this. Like, get it to where it needs to be, okay? Yeah, do something. So, um, Steven's like, okay, I've been thinking about this. I still think it's a good decision. And Braden's like, I mean, she's going to be upset. Oh, yeah, she's going to be upset. But, you know, there's a lot of good comes from this for us.

I mean, for her, too, guys. Because, you know, when we transfer the car washes, car washes wants the same. leadership. He goes through the whole thing. Like, oh, they're going to be. First one of car washers. It's going to get a huge package now from these, whoever buys the car wash. Everyone knows. When you buy a car wash, there's just so much disruption.

You must keep the same people employed for three to five years. You just, I mean, you just don't want to suffer the blowback that comes with changing out car, car wash administration. Yeah. So they go get Galena and she comes, you know, dressed head to toe and leather looking, I mean, she's just dressed to the nine. And it's hilarious that she's working at the car wash. She looks so good.

She's like, hello, it is me, car wash, car wash lady, head of president car wash. Well, what say you? In, I just like your deal for a great package of pine tree air fresheners. So my value speaks for itself. I did not realize we are having meeting today. Would anyone like a giant latte? Okay. We just wanted to tell you, you know, oh, go ahead. Go ahead. Does anyone want a frozen Snickers bar from the machine downstairs?

You are at Car Wash Royalty right now. Well, how are you doing? Good. Okay, good. That's good. Just looking around here. Oh, wow. Look at that. Look at that window. You like that window? I do. Okay. Small talk down. I wanted to bring you in and tell you something we've been thinking about. We're selling the car washes. She's like, uh, huh, okay.

Yeah, I know the plan was to wait until we had more operations to sell, but now it's the time, because we got banks getting nervous, and Cole's going to lose his house, and selling the car washes could be a clean slate debt-wise. So, bhrm, sorry, sad horns, but everything you worked for, who cares? But don't worry, you're going to get a payday, being president of whatever country takes this car wash, okay? You may be moving, but you will get full citizenship

and car wash health care. Okay. You'll have car wash immunity for the next 90 days. So then she's like, I mean, are you fucking kidding me? I mean, they have not been involved in the car wash operations and they absolutely do not know the financial state to the car washes. And she's saying this whole thing about like, you made a decision about my life,

but you didn't even ask me about my life. I'm like, well, Galena, they are the boss. Like, I hate to break it to you, but it's not up for the brass to ask about their employees life before they do layoffs. They just do it. And you and and you also knew who you were like you knew that like you've been around this family. You know they're shitheads and you know they're only out for themselves. So I mean, that's true. But Galena like built these car. She built these car washes kind of herself and she's the only one who really works at any of these places. And I think she's like, these guys don't even know what's happening. What do they mean they're going to sell it all? And you see on her faces she's like, your dad's not. going to let you guys do this. But then they don't really get the reaction they want out of her. Because she's like, okay, well, great. And she's staying pretty calm. And so Stephen's like, we made the decision and the boys are behind it. And we can't take the stress. The boys are starting

family. Col's on the second kid. God knows when the third's going to come out. Probably won't even wait the whole nine months. So he'll probably have five this year the way they're going. So we got to do something. Cause like, I need to be able to sleep at night in my house, knowing it's still going to be there. Not that Galena needs to support herself or has that. I know, right? Has anything. But why do you guys again making decisions on my behalf?

That's like happening in the past with your dad. Like, he always would make decision like what he thinks is good for everybody. Like, I can't believe his sons would do the same thing. Galena, you're the most pessimistic person about being laid off. God is ridiculous. Here's what I like about you, Galena. You're about 5 foot 7. You are blonde. You do concentrate on memberships. Unfortunately, actually, your journaling is actually very good too, because you type very, very fast.

Okay. I do appreciate that you say you want to get married. Do you want to get married right now? Kalina, we do appreciate that you sent your daughter to the private school of your choice. And I do like, I do like that you wake up one hour later. later than me to allow me my time to journal about memberships. That way I could journal from 4 to 6 a.m. to finish journaling whatever I didn't journal from 10 to midnight, which is because I journal before I go to sleep, I wake up and I journal some more,

just in case anything happens in the middle of my sleep. And she's like, but what are you doing? He's like, well, the banks are calling us. And I don't know if my house could be gone next week. And I hope everything will go for you, good working for you, new company and all that. But at some point, we got to worry about ourselves and our family. And she's telling us that she's treated them like family. And of course, they're not treating it.

I mean, look, you know Galena's my hero. But just for the other side, you were the housekeeper for their mom and dad while they were married. And then you started sleeping with the dad. And so it's not, she's like, I treat you like family. So on that aspect, I got to say, but still 100% Galena, because this is really selfish to just be like, we all made a decision. We're selling them. And then they still are not getting the reaction, right? So Cole ups it.

And she, because she just says, got it. And he goes, well, I'm going to be honest, Galena. We want what's best for you. But it's time for us to cut ties and go our separate. rights. So then she's like, they don't get the reaction. So they're like, and now you're out of the family too. We don't even want you anywhere. Yeah. Yeah, because it was before it was like we're selling it. But we'll maybe we'll figure out something for like you can get a package or like maybe it could have even been like, oh, oh, maybe we'll relocate you in the business. And she's like, oh, she's like, oh, we're taking it that far. You guys are getting with me. So what's going to happen? I treat you guys like family. And like I feel like you guys are like trying to make decision. Like, like you're a family. family. And like, it's like we decided it's like good for you. But like I need to make a decision what's good for me. And it's like it's not your decision. And so she's like, what the fuck? And she goes, you know what on this note? If you chose to make it personal, then let's go ahead and make it personal. And then she just gets up and goes and like, okay. And then they're like, okay. Where are she going? Where does she be to make it personal? And so she heads on out. She heads on outside. And at this point, I thought, okay, They're going to make it look like she's going to do something crazy, but she just can go to her car and leave.

But thankfully for Galena, she finally did something, allowed for something interesting to finally happen on this show. They run to the wall of cameras. Like, we don't have to actually move, guys, because those cameras, we can look out on them. Please don't make me run to the downstairs area. So she goes downstairs, and we see her on the cameras, and we just hear, clink, like she takes something off the wall.

They're like, what is she taking out? What does she take? Is that a fucking crowbar? And then she walks out to his truck. And she ain't going to hit your truck, is she? And then bam, she just bashes out all the windows of the car. And we just see her smash. And then we hear clink, clink, clink, clink, clink.

With the bar being dropped on the ground. And then we see her truck just speeding away. Yes. I was actually, I was cheering at my house. It was the first time all season I felt something. And I just was laughing. I was like, good for you. Good for you.

So funny. So they come down and they're so shocked. First off, why was the glass on the outside of the car? That's weird. I watch a lot of crime shows. I guess they wouldn't have broken it from the inside anyway if it was just. No, because it was probably fake. That's good point.

They probably opened the door and broke it from the inside. They were like, well, when we stage this scene, we don't want it. We don't want to actually have to get glass in the car. Let's do it safely. So that's exactly what happened. They opened the door and they bashed it from one direction. It fell out on the thing and then they closed the door again. Because I noticed that was weird, you know, like if you're a crime, sane, a good person.

And the other thing is, but you know what, they're like, I can't believe. Oh, go ahead. But that being said, you know, living in L.A., you see a fair number of, like, post-glass on the street. And there's always glass on the sidewalk. So I think there's like a coating on the window. So if you're using a crowbar, which has the angle at the ends, right? That's why it's a crowbar. You hit it.

And so maybe when you're pulling the crowbar out, it pulled the glass out. Maybe even the glass was like, I don't want to have anything to do with the McBee. And the glass was like, I'm going to fall the other way. The sense of this car is too much. I refuse. I refuse. But the other thing that was cracking me up is that they're like, I can't believe Galena what did this. How could you not believe it?

She just did it last year. Wait, no, it was the first season when they went. That was last year, too. No, it was last year when they went to the family retreat at their place in Nashville or whatever, and Masha showed up. And then Stephen Sr. was there. It was one of the episodes he was actually kind of there. And then they woke up. And wasn't it Stephen Jr.'s truck that was bashed that time? They show it right here. They show it right here. They have a whole series of like, Kalina goes crazy montage we see her. Oh, I thought they just showed where she

crashed into Masha, or she crashed Masha's car. She's like, I will deliver Masha's car. And then she like wrecked the car into something. And they're like, hey, What happened to Masha's car? She's like, I don't know. I just remember when they pulled that frying pan out of the dishwasher, and it was like warped. And they're like, what happened? Like, I don't know.

So then. Yeah, I think they just showed that one, but they didn't show the, they didn't show her breaking all the window. Well, we didn't see her do it, but someone broke all the windows of the truck when Steve McBee had Masha to Nashville. Someone did. So Stephen is like, We bit through hell.

Hell of a lot. And Galena's going, scorch earth was not in our cards, says the guy who is like this little scorch of earths. And so then Brin's like, I didn't think it would go that bad. Like, well, we're selling these things as soon as we can. She's gone. And Cole's like, it's not been too much fun this last few years of my daddy's odd situation. And like, yeah, from car washes to getting rid of all of our row crop. Like growing our cat, our grow crop, I mean, growing our cattle side.

There's just so much going on. Like, not in your head. Such fucking victims. Oh, my God. Everything happens to us. And then Stephen gives his normal monologue. Well, at some point, I feel like our life is going to settle down. And our timeline just gets extended out because every year gets crazier.

Our backs are up against the wall. The banks are calling us and I'll stop. It's going to be really tough to make this work. But I'll be damned if I don't save the farm. Oh, good. Can't wait to find out. Yeah. Well, hopefully at all.

Well, works out well for your tiny cows. Hope you can save a little plot of land for them to eat some grass. Seriously. Winnie's like, we. Galena, it is time for us to concentrate on something this family can truly profit off of long-term. Tiny cows and trendy tallow. One thing that's going to save this farm? Teeny, tiny cows that have a niche appeal to a niche audience of people who have land for tiny cows.

And that's going to save us all. Oh, geez. Well, goodbye. McBee Pharmacy, sorry. That would, that I'd be into. The McBee Dynasty. Goodbye. Good boy.

Well, thanks, everyone for being here. Ovoire, Mickby Dynasty. It was a thrill. It was a thrill to have you back this summer. And that's it. For now, we'll be back with some Valley and NextGen New York City on Thursday. Love you all. Bye.

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