Watch What Crappens - #3513 Below Deck Med S11E12 Part One: Return of Honey Eyes

Episode Date: August 25, 2026

This is part 1 of a 2-part recapIt’s Aesha’s bachelorette party on Below Deck Med, and Hannah returns to give honey eyes to the latest crop of clowns air humping stuffed animals in the clerb. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, sign up for our free weekly newsletter and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crapins. I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there. Hello, little Ben. Hi, birthday boy. Happy birthday. Thank you, Ben. Happy birthday, Ronnie. Yeah, and I got to see Hannah, just like the people on this show. What about that? Look at that.

This is all together. Thank you. they just keep on coming those days of birth fuck they do uh and it is an honor to be in this seat across from you virtually every year to celebrate your birthday and just to be here on the show with you and so i hope you have the best day ever today thank you hon man well could i have a better day i'm just hanging out with you talking shit i i well i certainly hope you have a better day than your fellow birthday birthday celebrators today which include the ghost of sean connery the ghost of regis philbin by the way tom scarrett you know did we ever you know for all the talk of kathy baker did we ever

realize that you share a birthday with tom scarrett no the only person i know that i share a birthday with is leonard bernstein you don't know about the rest of these people that you share a birthday with because let me tell you know you have some great celebrities you've got billy ray cyrus you've got Tim Burton. You've got Gene Simmons and Elvis Costello. Fine. You have Joanne Wally. We love a character actress. You have Rachel Ray,

which I think is notable. You also have Cameron Matheson. You have Claudia Schiffer. So you have a supermodel. You basically qualified to eat in Bethany's restaurant. You also have 90s icon Kel Mitchell. And this, I think, is a very important thing. I don't believe, not that I don't believe, I don't follow numerology or astrology or things rising in the Easterwood S or something rising or whatever.

What I do follow are pop culture coincidences. And you share a birthday with two different prestigious members of the Josh Schwartz universe, which of course includes, and really is only includes, the O.C. and God. Gossip Girl. You share a birthday with Rachel Billson and Blake Lively. Oh, yeah, I've got a Blake Lively. Blake is the real. I just saw that too. Yeah, that's the real, that's the real exciting one. Like you and Blake, basically soul sisters,

sitting there on the steps of the Met. Basically the same. Alexander Sarsgaard. I mean, I'm really looking up today. You know, Leonard Bernstein isn't even showing up on this list. I'm going to see. Leonard Burns. What's sort of fun about getting older is that,

the older you get, the more celebrities wind up on your birthday just by law of averages. Because like when I started, when I started the birthday game, it was like Jeff Bridges. And that was it. Jeff Bridges and Wink Martindale. And now I've ascended to Jay-Z. I've got Tyra Banks. You know, it's like people, people start becoming famous. They're also just younger people around. It's very exciting. So you've really collected a nice, nice group here of celebrities for your birthday. Yeah, I'm hooking it up. So awesome. Rachel Ray, Blake Lively. Thanks, Blake. Thanks for being here.

Well, if you want this video recap, you can get that on Patreon. That's also where you get our bonus episodes, ad-free listening, access to our Discord server, and a weekly newsletter, which basically just talks shit and writing about all of these shows. So check all of that. That's free, by the way. You can just sign up for Patreon for free for that thing. And today it's Below Deck Mediterranean. Now, since we last were with Below Deck, we found out that Nathan has been arrested. He was arrested two days after Christmas last year after choking somebody. It doesn't say who it is, but we pretty much figure it's Gail because she filed the equivalent of a restraining order against him.

And he goes to court in September. What a piece of shit. Oh, my God. What a huge, huge piece of shit. What a huge, huge piece of shit. How awful. How vile. How disgusting.

I hope we never have to hear from him ever again after this. Yes. So we're, we open with Nathan, which really sucks. And he's doing this whole like Sandy calls him. And he's just holding his baby up to the video phone. Like,

it's me and my cute little baby. Oh, fuck off. Just fuck off. Stop using your baby as a prop. Do you think, I'm sorry, do you think the producers knew about this?

they must not have. I think that if they knew this, that you would have either shelved the season or edited around Nathan, they really centered him a lot this season. But he's getting actually a pretty bad edit. But they centered him, you know, it's like, oh, he has a baby.

He has a baby. So what do you think? Or maybe they pivoted the edit? I don't know, but I would figure if there's been an arrest or something like that, they would know. But what do I know?

We didn't. the internet didn't know, so I don't know how stuff like that is released. I feel like if this stuff happens in the U.S., you know, right away. Like somebody's been arrested and there, you know, some blogger has all the details and the paperwork online. But this one, we're just finding out about in August and this happened in December. So I have no idea if they knew and they just tried to keep it under wraps and just let the season go on and figured, well, we'll deal with that when we get to it. But with Gary on below deck sailing, when the allegations about Gary came out, they edited his ass out of that season. Yeah.

And he was still actually, take me out of this season. You miss a really good part. There's some good drama. And he was still actually decently in that season. So maybe that's what's happened here. Maybe they have sort of moved. Maybe they remove certain, like, sympathetic scenes that sort of showed him as a devoted husband light or, or like, oh, this poor guy or whatever. So maybe that's what's going on.

I don't think so, honestly, because they've shown a lot of sympathetic Nathan's scenes. Like, oh, look at Nathan with his cute baby. Look how good Nathan is going home to the, you know, going home and being tired. I feel like he's getting a very sympathetic edd actually. It won't be that way going forward. I generally don't think that Bravo must not have known. I think Bravo's been pretty good. Unfortunately, this has happened a few times.

I think Bravo's been pretty good about not centering people if they've had these allegations against them. So we're trying to decenter them if they can. Well, when it comes out publicly. Yeah. Yeah. But either way, we are now in that fun position of having to recap the show as the show Nathan by no means is like a hero on this show, but you do have this weird situation where Joe is like a toxic underminer, but Joe's also kind of proven to be pretty good at what he's

doing, but Nathan is like he is an ineffective leader who's just like a blowhard, but also he's not wrong that Joe is acting to undermine him the whole time, and then Joe thinks that that Nathan is underqualified, has anger issues, and he's right. But at the same time, Nathan is saying that, you know, Joe is a piece of shit and can't be treasoned. That's right. So it's, this is, we're in our lazy Susan of awfulness happening on the deck, deck department right now. Yeah.

It's definitely one of those where you can't go, you can't bring all of that stuff into the recap. Thankfully, Nathan is already a piece of shit on this season. And we've been hating him anyway. So that's good. It's not like someone, oh, so sweet that you're like, what? That you kind of have to stand up for them on the show because he's not really doing anything to stand up for on the show.

I mean, this starts with him being like, being like, Max, if you got my back, I'll make you lead that can't. Which spins Max out, of course. It's like, what do I do? I know I have the chance, the chance to be. everything I've ever dreamed. Do I be the way, my friend? Do I am? Carl, shut up. You're not getting

promoted to lead decant anyway. I don't know in what world you even think that's a thing. But I mean, talk about a toxic from the top leadership style. That is, I think that was actually reprehensible that Nathan sent that text. I think it's

100% not the way you lead a department. I think that's like way to sow seeds of dissent and acrimony. And like, I thought that was awful. And by the way, we're just about to start this, I swear to God. But we also cannot start this without acknowledging that this was one of the craziest

cliffhangers we've ever seen on below deck. This outer left field plot twist, an international smuggling crime ring plot twist that may send a deck hand off into the depths of Libya to save his father. Like, what? Where did that come from? Wild. I thought it was pretty amazing. I did that boat interview thing with Hannah and Daisy this past weekend. So I was asking a bunch of below-deck questions. And we were talking about the traumas on the show and like how reliant they are on making everybody have a trauma that they have to bring to the boat, you know, and we've made fun of it on this show forever. And we were like, well, I guess they've kind of backed down from that a little bit. And we were saying, yeah, at this point, they really. really need to up their game.

I mean, if you're going to have trauma, it needs to be, it can't just be like, oh, you know, I broke my knee in kindergarten and people laughed at me and that's why I can't go to clubs and drink tequila or whatever it is. They're crying. It's like, well, you got to up your game and then we get this. This is it. You upped it. One of the most impressive wild balls with money laundering in Tunisia and now I need to go save him or

he's going to get killed by the mob. Yes. Yes. You guys, you did it. And not only that, I have to go save him because I need to show him the love that he never showed me. So this is also like mending a psychological wound from childhood. Like what? What? This was unbelievable. But we're going to get to that in about five hours. Yeah, we'll be there. We'll be there at the end of the day, like the literal day. The son will be going down where we get there. Daddy will be in a ditch somewhere by the time, by the time we get to it. Oh, geez.

So we open with Nathan putting Max into a moral quandary. Like, what, Max, do morally. This is what I have to do. And the episode ends with a Max moral quandary. Look at that. Wow. I'm telling you, this is storytelling. Take note, McBee Dynasty.

This is how you do it. This is how you do. This is it. This is construction. So here we go. We're in the gallery. Oh, another thing that happened, I keep saying we're going to start and then I don't start. Because another thing that happened last week was the internet caught on fire about these guests.

Bunny was putting out statements like this, you know. Bunny lit it on fire. I feel like, I feel like Bunny was the one. Like, I feel like people were like, oh, yeah. Some more guests who just like, oh, God, these guests want everything. And then Bunny released on threads like a 26 page like one of 26 threads. about first of all you know

like some of her some of their points were were not terrible but also it's like listen any time anytime vegans and gluten free people come on to blow deck

the show just gives them a rough at it sorry that's just what happens it's just rough it's rough but Bunny was Bunny was not having it Bunny was pushing back

Bunny was like, you know, we all had different choice. We all wanted different things and we're allowed to speak up for what we want, yada, yada, yada. It was the thing. Yes. And it was like, you know, we, this is what it's like being a black person and a person of color and LGBTQI plus person. And she had a lot of, you know, descriptors. But she's like, this is what it's like, you know, when you ask for things, people act like. you're basically being difficult and just because you want things to be good.

And I think that that general point, okay, you know, and that can be made a million times, and we've seen examples of that a million times on Bravo. But funny, we're opening this episode with you guys insisting on like five or six completely different pasta dishes. And I mean, come on. And we were kind of on their side, at least partly last week, because a lot of, of that food coming out didn't look great. And people pointed out that one of them said in the meeting, avocado's fine, but then it was just, oh, avocado overload. It's like, here's an entire avocado,

and then here's some guad. So we're not even saying that that was a great day for joy. Okay. Yeah, we said that. And we even said, we actually thought the guests were pretty nice. By way, and we're not on defense here. We know it was not directed towards us. At least I hope it wasn't directed towards us. I do think that, like, for people on the internet who were like, those guests were so rude. They were not rude. They were not rude. They, they did have different things that they wanted. I think what was hard is that I think Joy did not manage that situation the way she needed to, which is to say, this is what the meal is. What subs can I do? But like saying like, what do you want? What do you want? Everyone's like, I want this. I want this. I want this. Which is like,

okay, that's crazy. That's like, that's crazy. But ultimately, it's on the staff to sort of manage what the guests, like the range of what the guests can ask for. And it was insulting when Joy was like, I was thinking tonight we'll make pizzas. It's like, Joy, that was very insulting. But that being said, no matter what, no matter what, if you come on to this show and this one's vegan and this one's gluten free and this one doesn't want to eat this and this one doesn't want to eat that, it's always going to, it's going to get the below deck at it every single time of people running around frantic.

Like they will be they will be put in the bucket of high men's guests no matter what on this show. It happens every time. And it's one of the great joys of watching the show is seeing how the staff responds to that. Yeah. And that's part of service. I mean, listen, just know whenever you're eating somewhere, the waiter who is smiling to your face and telling you their name and asking how your children are walks right back into the kitchen and goes, I hate that dick. 90% of the time. Yeah.

Okay. That's just how it is. So you get cameras on the back of the house in any part of service and you're going to see what people are saying about you. And that's just part of being on below deck. I mean, if you can't handle it, don't come on below deck. Now that said, fans who are going and leaving racist comments and this and that, that is horrible. That is disgusting. I'm not even going to get into that.

People should know better than to do shit like that. That is disgusting. And that's a legit complaint. She went on Joy's, she went on something. And Joy wrote, she really did have a lot of threads, Bunny. Or they did, they did have a lot of threads. It was too much. And Joy wrote, hey, listen, I'm so sorry.

You know, we just wanted to make this a good experience. I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience. You know, just apologized. And they wrote back, I'm really sorry that I'm so bad with that. They wrote back, oh, I didn't know you would respond. But if you really feel that way, then tell all your. fans to stop being racist. And she said, okay, we'll do.

Just such a joy response. Like, okay, click. Well, people should not be racist. And like, they were very, they were very nice guests. Like you watch it even, you watch, they're like, oh, could we please have this? You see that, you see Bunny is saying, we're going to need to get some more food for my guests because I can't have to go to sleep, hungry. That's not, it's not a crazy thing to say. It's not a mean thing to say that no voices were raised.

There's no attitude embedded in it. Like Bunny just stated it and everyone said it and everyone was very friendly. They just weren't getting what they wanted and that is ultimately on the staff. But they were a huge pain in the ass. But they also were paid the ass because it was one person and everyone wants. They were paying the ass because they had so many requirements on like a service perspective, not an attitude or personality perspective, but just in terms of like how they all needed different things and there's one chef in the kitchen that is a pain in the ass if you have to cook multiple variations for her all the same meal you know yeah it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappence commercial so we start with this joy being like oh god last night was a shit shell i'm gonna just go what they ask you want one million different type of pasta fine done i just need to get through the charter and so we see you

her making the chicken Alfredo and the lobster whatever rigatoni and that all different sauces all different proteins some are gluten-free some or not she's making different pasta everything for each guest and i'm sorry you're a pain in the ass that's crazy so then you may be great you may be super fun to hang out with but this is crazy yeah so then we go to the swim platform and Joe and Max are pulling things off the square formation, which you guys might remember. Joe came up with a revolutionary shape last week, the square. The square.

And it's changed everybody's life. And Max is like, oh, if I could pick both in, I would take Joe over Nathan. Because Joe know how to speak in a respectful way, but Nathan wants to make me really decker. And what should I do? Oh, the moral. The morals.

The morals. Oh. Yes, this is destroying my. I am context pre-frontal. Yeah. I would go with the person who treats you respectfully because wouldn't you rather work under someone who gives you respect than just be used in a pawn

and some, you know, small dick, you know, pecking, order spitting, fight, pissing match. That's a pissing match is what it is. So Aisha, um, Asia's going to join this dudes tonight because last night was a shit show. So she's going to join to help out everything. and she's like, we're going to have such a wonderful evening, aren't we? And Jo's like, yes, I hope, sir.

And so Joy is not convinced, obviously. You can see in her mind, she's like, I have eight more pastas to make right now, 12 different sauces, six different variations on three of those sauces and two different proteins on one goes on one sauce, one goes on one variation of another sauce, and one just goes on a whole other pasta. And someone just wants cardboard, someone just asks for cardboard and I have to find cardboard to give them. Thanks for your positivity. Please pick up a spatula. That would be great. Okay. Yeah.

I'm going to help you, but being positive. No. This is not the time for it. This is not the time for that. Go be positive over there. All right. Yeah. So then Kelly is offering, I guess, cocktails. And it's just like, Would you like a pawn star? It's good, it's, it's beautiful. It's patient fruit. They're all excited about that. And Kaylee's saying, this dinner is literally a last chance to salvage this charter. I'm going to reach into my soul and embody Asia and just knock it out of my out of the park.

I'm like, you also have liability on your lips. So you may, you may be just that. We want you to succeed. Yeah, but I really is giving yourself. It's not the best label to be putting on yourself, especially in service, on a boat. Liability. The food comes out and it's quiet while everybody eats their 20 different kinds of pasta. And then they're like, yes, he did it.

This is what we wanted. This is all we wanted. Finally, we've done it. And Joy's like, hey, let's full thing. They are happy. It is funny because at one point, I think right before this, Joyce says, Tonight, I'm just going to make them exactly what they ask for. And she says it like, fine, I'll make you what you ask for.

And it's kind of like, yeah, that's probably what you should always be doing. But they are happy. And I do do have to say that guests often do get a raw deal on this show. Because like, if you, if your first day, you're like, they can do a bad edit on you. They often will then have like this redemptive episode, you know, in the second half of the charter that they show. And they always, I sometimes I feel bad for guests who get like that bad. first edit and then have to sit there for a whole week while the internet's like fuck this guess you guys are awful bullshit and then the next episode they're like like oh this is great wonderful

thank you so much okay we'll eat this and you just know the entire time they're sitting there like just wait for the next episode just wait yeah i don't think they got a bad edit though i have to say they didn't i'm just saying you know that like while while the internet is telling these people you guys are so picky you're so picky you're so picky you know that they're like just wait to the next episode. We're going to like the food the next episode. Yeah, but a week is a long time to be taking shit from people on the internet. Oh, it's hard. We know. People, the people have been discussing all week like, oh, you know, maybe we like Joe now, you know, or retroactively making things okay. Like, oh, it was good that Luke came all over Luke's sheets. Now I'm Team Luke spooging all over

the sheets, you know, which are, are funny jokes. But I think if we're going to retroactively cheer For somebody, it shouldn't be these douchebags. It should be that alcoholic who came on right at the beginning and wanted to punch Nathan. Yeah. That's like, you know what to fight? Get over here. I hate his fucking attitude. That guy's an asshole.

I'm going to fight him. Yeah. That was actually specifically, believe it about, that was specifically one person I was thinking of how he had that first episode and he was like the worst guest of all time. And then the next episode, he was like, I actually would like this guy. It's pretty cool. This guy's cool. Yeah. I'm just going to hang out here.

just eat some nachos. I mean, I still think he was a piece of shit because he sent his girlfriend off and then hired a new one from some other island. But like, oh, that guy was terrible too. I'm just reading for that. He does, his anti-Nathan agenda is pretty strong. Yes. So now Jen is trying her flirt thing, which is just so cringe with Cooper. It's so difficult to watch it.

It just makes me so. She's just so bad at it. She's like, oh, one of those days, am I right, Coupe? Right. How you doing, Coup, big boy? And he's like, oh, just gonna power through. Tomorrow's drop off guy, just gotta keep it going.

She's like, oh my God, Cooper's gonna be naughty tomorrow, everybody. Tee-hee, T-hee-he-he-he. Some would say I'm a better flutter than my parents are. So, Cat, then Cat, of course, walks by, and it's awkward, especially because Jen has no idea about the secret relationship. So Kat tells us, Cooper and I are like trying to test out this new secret relationship. And like literally there's no pressure at all for anyone else because no one else knows. But Jen trying to flirt with Cooper is like definitely throwing like a little bit of a wrench in the plan.

Like was not expecting that. What's happening? Why is she so worried about this stupid secret relationship? Which by the way, I'm going to say for the 20th time. If ever somebody tells you they want to keep you a secret, don't do it. They're a douchebag and they're going to be fucking a million other people that happens every time. But why is she worried about this stupid fake pretend relationship and not like what kind of friend? Exactly.

Like immediately the day after this man makes you cry is like, well, he's mine now. Yeah, exactly. And also, why are you with a guy that you feel like while you're in a secret relationship, his head would be. be turned in a non-secret way to your best friend. Like why, like, don't you, don't you have any faith in him? Why are you hooking up with the guy that you would be concerned, but might do that? But also, yeah, I feel like the focus should really be on your girlfriend for doing this. Yeah.

So, Coup tells Kat, you strike, you strike, you seem a little low energy to die, maybe. But Jen's being very friendly, though. It's like, um, you think that she's trying to pursue you? Oh, my God. He's like, oh, I don't know. And then he, like, sees the camera. And he's like, the pasta's really good. No, I'm not entertaining that.

So Coup is saying, tells us. His man is docker's in human form. He's just a big pair of just dockers. Yeah. And I don't know which type of dockers is the least charismatic, but that's him. So he is like, cacky business conference at the Marriott,

you know, he's just, he's conference center cacky. He's the guy coming down the escalator in the shiny golf shirt and the cackies as you're going up to check into your room and you think, man, this is the hotel I'm staying in? So,

um, because you know that you're like, you know what the chatter is going to be all around the lobby, all around the bar. And every elevator, it's going to be guys in their golf. shirts with their khakis on making stupid comments it's it the comments are either going to be yeah i got a sick birdie yesterday or it's going to be did you get that report from jenn yeah

it was pretty good uh she's real good i think she's going to go far in the company or how'd you get here what freeway did you take to get here today straight guys i feel like love talking about traffic and how fast to get someplace and how to cut time off, you know, the trip next time you make that trip. So Coop's like, uh, I'm just, I'm not asking for attention from Jim, but I can't push it away or that's going to send up some red flags and then people are going to know about my secret. Well, what?

Why would it send red flags if you say you're not interested in Jen? So the producers who know, he thinks if he, if he shows he doesn't, he's not interested in Jen, then it's going to look like he's interested in cat. And that's supposed to be a big secret. Well, the producers, producers know, of course, of what's going on. But Coop doesn't know the producers know because Coop is not smart. And so they're like, well, are you trying to hide something? Coop?

He's like, no. No. I'm starting to sweat from it. That's what secrets do to me. I'm getting sweaty and flustered. You just said you have a secret. It's like, do you have a secret? No, but I'm sweating because secrets make me sweat.

And on screen it says, still does not know that cat reveals secret to production. Also, still does not know there are options beyond Axe body spray. They really could add so much to that caption. Still does not know. There are other fabrics than shiny rayon. Whatever golf shirt is made of. Ben still does not know what golf shirts are made of. Yeah, that's our, that's our caption.

Joy brings out the cake she made and it smells Econ Club. Is it a cake? What is this thing? It's a bunch of little things shaped into the word, like a bunch of squares shaped into the words, econ club. It's like a French patisserie. I forget what that's called when it's like a biscuit with like frosting

and it's like two tiers, but it's I feel like it's a woman's name. I'll look it up everyone. Don't mind me over here. I'll check it out. Oh, the kind of cake thing it was? Yeah, pastry with

like a rectangle topped with frosting and another rectangle. That's what my Google search is going to be. It's not a Napoleon. Maybe it is Napoleon. I don't know, but they loved it. They loved it. And Joy asked Bunny for a story about Econ Club. Okay. Yes. Can we have a story about that? Sorry, I thought you were going to say something. No, it's no voice. A story about Econ Club. And she says that it provides financial education and economics education to folks that typically don't have access to it.

She's like, oh, this is great. Okay, this was long sentence I did not need. It is like saying, how are you? Just say, okay. And I go. Goodbye. So she leaves, and then the guests go to bed, and Jen and Cooper in the pantry cleaning up dinner, and Jen's trying it again.

She's like, oh, my God. Did someone light a candle called sexy in here? What is that? Is that you? You smell so good. She's just smooth. She just, she has a way with words, an easy way with flirtation. I mean, we all remember the way she stomped up to Luke and was like, do me.

So she just, she's a seductress at heart. He says, let's some Jimmy too right there. Of course, a below deck guy gets a scent that smells like a foot. Seems very on brand. That's right. It's like it's so sexual. It smells so, so, so sexual. You smell like Splidge.

What is that? Jimmy Spluge. So now it's the morning and everyone's waking up and Joe and Max are being very friendly. And Joe is like, Max, we make a great team. It's going to be a great thing moving forward. And Maxi, yes, of course. And guests come up. They have breakfast.

They're happy, of course, because it's breakfast. And then Sandy has an announcement for the deck team. Guys, we're going to a different marina today. We're going to go in, we're going to go side two. Okay, side two, right? So you guys could just let me know the status of the lines because we're going to go side two. Okay, this is one step below anchor sanctuary, one step above, plain old crashing into a dock. All right, just let me know the status of the lines.

Understood. What are they? What do you mean? The lines. I don't know what you mean. Give me my lines. God, I love that banana. Anna's on heroin.

Oh, what season are we in? Give me my lines. I'm not having the captain's nightmare right now. Do your food. Do your food. Is anyone friends with the lines on Facebook. Has anyone seen their status? Do people check?

It's like the lines are like, I'm sick of these young people and the TikTok. Yep, that's a Facebook user. So we're going to a new marina today. I really want to do something special for Asia. So we're going to have a pirate bachelor at party. Don't you just really into the pirate thing. You know, just a lot of pirates, a lot of pirate dicks swinging around in Asia's face.

It's going to be great. You know, a bachelor at parties, they've got a lot of peoners. is flying everywhere. But, you know, I haven't to have to worry about that one. Not for me. Yeah, I just had a tennis rackets flying everywhere because Gigi Fernandez set it up.

And instead of it saying, Happy Bachelorette just said, Gigi's a champion. It was nice. It was nice to celebrate her on my Bachelorette party, but maybe I should do it again. So then now Max and Joe are hauling on the anchor. and Sandy does her all. Hey, Joe, you want to sit on Mama's lap and drive the car?

Okay, guess what? You get to drive out of the Anchorage. Now, are we in open water and there's nothing around us, and you're basically just moving a circle left and right? Yes, but you can still say you drove the yacht. Hey, you want to drive the Little Mermaid ride to Disneyland? You're in the troll. Hey, you want to do those race cars?

Yeah, sure. in with a bar right down the middle of the track, but it's pretty much like real driving. Get on in there, kiddo. We're going to practice the steering wheel on the decups. Okay, get over you with that boy. Okay. Now, listen, you've done a great job this charter. It was efficient, more organized.

I love Nathan dearly, but you can run a boat, Joe. Your, your line. Ready? Ready. Thank you. God, it's been a rough day today. My number one goal for this charter season, what's the show Sunday?

I'm a born leader. I can do it. I'm the bosun, the bosun of all time. And I've done the groundwork. And now I can generally say, I'm a better boson than Nathan. And I think that job should be mine. I mean, you've done a great job, Joe, but it's been like one charter. One and a half charters.

I mean, please, I'm not trying to give any flowers to Nathan. And you probably are better than Nathan. But, like, he's like one afternoon he pulled in a float and he made a square. And he's like, let's be honest, I'm probably the best. Bosom, the industry's ever seen? Yes, relax. Everyone's throwing lines and they park. And then the guest depart, they thank Joy for her ability to correct, to course correct.

They're like, well, you know, we had a rough day yesterday, but you gave us what we wanted today. And she's like, ooh, thank you very much. So they leave. And now Sandy's phone rings, guess who it is? It's Nathan. And he's like, look at me. I've got a baby. Isn't it good?

I'm an adorable person. She's like, all right, how's the back doing? And he says, good. And he got the all clear. Hasn't he only been gone like a couple of days? And the other day, he said he had a bruised. Like a bulging bruised disc. He's like, my vertebrae are cut in half, so I'm not sure I'll make it in in time.

And now it's like, yeah, I'm good to go. Yeah, he's like, my spinal cord has been separated. And it's like, I'm fine. He probably can just not, he has to do have like limited, limited mobility. or like there's he probably can't haul certain things he'll just have to have other people do that um but he can sort of like bounce around a boat i suppose so sandy's like wow that was fast suspiciously fast that's great news hey listen tonight gail's setting up uh for geisha for asia's birthday bachelor party and i would love for you to join us if you can find a sitter huh and nathan's like oh well we have one more night of the setter to go so i think it's a genius idea. I'm like, wait, you got this, I guess because he couldn't help out at home because he was bedridden. But I was like, wait, it's like, you have the sitter for when you're there, but not for when you're not there? What's like, what's going on here? Yeah. So Sandy tells us Joe's been

excellent as Bosen, his communications grade. His organization, his organization skills blew me out the water. Okay. I know Joe wants to rise. And he will. It's just been a good test for him, you know? And we'll have to see how he's going to deal with Nathan coming back. It's going to be funny.

It's going to be some funny times. Commercials. Here comes one right now. Tip meeting. And Sandy loves Max. It's always good to have you, Max. Welcome. Okay, you don't need a back flip.

Okay, get off the floor. Okay, stop crying. Stop crying. Okay, you don't need to hug me. All right, just have to see. Okay. he's swinging. Okay, let go of the chandelier. All right, come on back down. Come on. Okay, it's the tip meeting. So, uh, in the spirit of that, it's, uh, 10 o'clock, two o'clock.

That's my tip if you want to drive the boat. Okay, just some steering wheel lessons. Try it out on Joe earlier. He seemed to really like that. Okay. Well, I love you guys. Um, Max, it's always good to have you. Uh, you can climb down from the ceiling fan now. And joy, tough charter, but strive for progress. Not perfection. Am I right? That's also what I direct towards Jen's split ends. And also, Kaylee, thank you for your solidness. You were really, you had a lot of solidness. So thank you for being full of solidness. Yeah. You know what I'd be thankful for? A lot of saladness. I'm hungry. Very hungry. Oh, one more piece of news. Nathan's coming back next

charter and everyone's like oh yay joe's face goes from like this big smile it's like yeah he does and he doesn't hide it at all he's just like oh no i've got to his teeth are still together and he's still in that weird teeth thing he does but his eyes are kind of freaking out oh by the way joe you're excellent you went you went from deckhand to bosen arranging everything the lazarette's perfection you know maybe you've got some things to show nathan when he comes back and here's what we know Nathan loves being taught things by underlings that he hates. So can't wait to see how that works at. Okay, everyone.

Now here's the tip. Lazrette is also the name of one of my girlfriends from the 80s. Okay. All right. Here's a, that wasn't so much. She was really old story. She was. She was old, but kind of a minx.

And my tip is, don't date her. Okay. Anyway, the total is $21,000. it's all paid to you in different types of gluten-free pasta. Joe, come get your sack of G.F. Rigatoni. Oh, they also say thank you, but they spelled it out of Milfoys. So go enjoy everyone. Gride, Joe!

Aisha, you're back on the interior. God, good for you. And since you've never had a bachelor at party, I've arranged with Gail, a bachelorette party. Everybody's coming. And fortunately, I'm a special. on the phone, it's going to be a geisha party. So just, you know, respect the ladies in the robes. Right, everybody?

Feel free to write your memoirs about it. Okay. So Asia is like, oh, you guys are all coming to my Bachelorette party. Did Sandy older strippers? And they all get dressed and they're getting excited. And then Joe, Joe's like with Max and Coup on this like little love. And he's like, guys, let's have a sit for five minutes. So I have to sit there.

Like, okay. Well, just sit here because you're upset. Yeah, he's going to have a meeting for the deck. He's going to remind him. I'm like, I'm your real daddy. Don't forget it. So he's like, you know what I wish. Coup's like, you know what I wish?

I wish you and night could both wear two stripes. Impossible. I'm happy to wear one. One stripe is fine. But, you know, we do have a system now. And if it changes, I'm going to have to put me foot. down and say, no, your system is three hours. My system is cut in half like my stripes. Not that I care. Listen together with three stripes against one stripe. Let's kill the stripe.

If it's any consolation, Joe will always be two stripes because they're right above his eyes. So Joe says, yeah, I love how he's like, I'm totally happy being at one stripe. I'm totally happy. But if Nathan decides to fuck with my square, he's going to hear it from me. I was like, good luck with that. If Nathan steps on board and he doesn't take appreciation of how I've actually flipped this boat about 180 and he messes up everything that I've done, I'm going to flip my lid. Wait until you see it. It's going to be crazy. There is something also, like they, one thing that they do is that they clean up the Lazarette quite nicely. And apparently this is something that Nathan's been asking for for all season. And it is one of those things where it's like, did they clean the Lazarette nicely because,

Joe had a better process or did they clean it nicely because every time Nathan asked Joe sort of slacked on it but then when Joe was in charge he was like hyper motivated to make it look good it's like one of those weird things that I can't quite figure out Nathan says he asks for it well but I don't think it says or or Sandy says she yeah she's what she wants it all all season I have no idea what I'm saying is like I am largely on Joe's side seems like he has better a better process and and it seems like he like he has the the ears of and the respect of his fellow department members. But it's also one of those things we're like yeah, but were you also maybe not putting in the effort because Nathan was in charge then once he's out of charge and suddenly

you become like amazing at this stuff and have initiative. So apologies to the listeners of watch for crapans. If anyone knows anyone who works at the road r ode corporation they can maybe explain why my roadcaster video makes my voice sound like a robot once in a while thank you play can please reach out i would be very happy to uh to to to work with them on this and give them plenty of free publicity on this podcast if they would fix this for me thank you thank you so much thank you all get together okay we're back Get your shot. I won't give Nathan credit for that because the second that Joe gets a compliment, he's like, well, that's what I've been asking for all season. Okay, Nathan, well, you've been on the boat all season and it hasn't been done. The boat has crashed into the dock. Then you were trying to teach Luke the tender without really teaching him, so you didn't have to give Joe the promotion. And then you crash the tender into something with Luke. And then that Lazarette still hasn't been cleaned. So listen, 100% of the time Joe has been in charge, the last. after it was cleaned and ship was organized.

So you can try to say you asked for it, but Captain Sandy said that she's been asking for it the whole season and the only person actually get it done was someone who was short-staffed and his name was Joe and it wasn't you. And do you know what it is to stick up for Joe after the past couple of seasons that he's had? But you know, that is the truth.

And we did see also how Nathan was like not being smart and efficient with like loading things in and out. Remember they were like, why aren't you using little crane? And it's like, just get it done. So, anyway, we need to lay out the, we need to lay out the toys flat and then blow them up. And it's like, no, just blow them up when they're folded. The air pushes them out or whatever.

So, yeah, Nathan, you suck. So Joe, oh, sorry, who's talking here? Asia calls Scott. And she's like, well, I'm having a bitch, Larry Ford. It's going to be amazing. I hope there's strippers just so I can see what they look like with my Maraca. And then Joe is saying, I'm threatened, see Nathan. He's like, oh yeah, I think as long as we got some bars of the vibe.

I mean, fuck it, my daddies can get a long ride. It's like, with Nathan, he never can win. So now we see Max and Nathan's cabin and Nathan's texting Max and he's like, God, wait to see her to not lot, lots to talk about. I'm like, oh, you fucking toxic, bro. I mean, Joe's also, you know, recruiting allies to his side. I just think that there's something about Nathan falsely dangling a lead deckhand position for Max.

Like, Max is not qualified for that. Like, you're going to have, you're going to dangle that for Max, like side unseen. And well, yeah, but we actually find out later that he's not dangling a false thing. He really is going to do it. He's really going to try and make Max lead that count. When Joe just filled in for you, Joe just filled in and ran a charter and a half for you, and you're going to have Max be the one just to have Max? Like, like, it's just, ugh, ugh.

Yeah. I feel bad for everyone who works in corporate America who actually deals with these politics all the time. I know this is not a show about corporate America, but I think this show probably echoes a lot of workplaces. And I feel like it's probably very president in corporate America. And it sounds terrible. Well, it was very much like this last season, too, when Max worked with them because Joe was getting the lead deckhand position because he was friends with Nathan. It's like there's no competing, you know? So it's like Nathan does this twice in a row.

It's just the opposite choice that he's making last time. but it's all based on who he likes personally and who he doesn't like. And my hair cut is. What is it? I said that haircut is cursed. Nathan's haircut is cursed. Nathan wants to take me into his legion. This is important moment in your life.

Take the success or take the friendship, you know? Where am I going to put my things on the chess? You know, my pee, you, my, my pume, my pium. And it says tawn on the screen. It's like, yes, the chess game is on. So, um, Asia and Kaylee are getting ready and Asia's so excited. She's been a bride's made so many, so many, for so many years and now she's finally gonna get to be a bride.

In her word, she says, I'm like, whoo? So, um, and Kayle's like, I've literally had goosebumps all over my fucking body right now. Look at my liability. It looks like it says bibbability, so many goosebumps on it. Um, Max Coupe, Jen are sitting at the table and Coupe's like, I'm gonna go take Joe some wine. Jen's like, that is so cute. That's like, that's like sexual.

That's so sexy. Yeah. I love a man taking another man wine. Hot. Oh, my God. Is it hot in here? Wow, I feel like I'm a real purser of sexiness right now. Um, so then Coupe says, uh, yeah, I'm just looking out for Joe.

He's made my bed like five times. Now that. is remarkable. I have to say that little detail, I have to say that movement needle for me with Joe. Yeah, that's how to do.

That's how to kiss butt. Do acts of service, you know? That's, that is incredibly kind. I hate to give Joe any sort of credit because he is a self-involved

fuck boy who's a toxic underminer in the workplace, but just freely making beds, especially on a season where we saw, what happens when someone does not do that? Wow. Consider me impressed. And Jen's like, are you serious? Like someone made someone else's bed on this boat? I didn't know he did

that. Are you a messy sleeper? Yeah, tell me about being a messy sleeper. That's so sexy. Hi, I don't know if this is going to work because I'm not a messy sleeper. So like when we're sleeping to You know what I mean? Like how's that gonna work? Ha ha ha ha teah he he he he's like I'm not interested in Jen in the slightest bit to be honest I'm a little scared of her I almost want to throw her in an above ground pool and say welcome to my aquarium Congratulations you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap for part two go look for the recap that says part two see you over there suckers Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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