Watch What Crappens - #3519 Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip S504 Part One: Ego Trip

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

This is part one of a two-part recapThe Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip roars into Atlanta for a drag brunch with Nene Leakes, followed by an Alter Ego party. It’s all fun and games until Kyle clashes with Ashley, and Heather hounds Lisa. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, sign up for our free weekly newsletter and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to watch watch crap. It's a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the glorious and fabulous Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Well, thank you. Good. What's going on with you? Happy Monday, everybody. Happy Monday. I've got a little head cold. If you're wondering, Ben, does you have a little cold? I do have a little cold. It's so funny that you mentioned that. So if my voice sounds deeper, and more gravely. Just pretend I'm Suzanne Blachette, providing you with all the hits on Bravo. We have a, we've had a very exciting week of recaps for you guys all today.

Well, it's going to be over the course of the week, but today we have Real Housewives Ultimate Girls trip. Before we dive into that, lots of exciting announcements. If you're someone who normally fast forwards, don't like, let's just listen to this part. It's important. In case you didn't hear it on Friday, we are going back out on tour. We do not have our on sale date yet, but we can share the cities we're going to. I'm going to go through them really quickly, and if you hear yours, just make sure to pencil it on your calendar and alert your friends and be ready when those tickets go on sale. Starting in October 3rd, Kansas City, October 4th, Chicago, Illinois, October 17th, Minneapolis, October 18th, Detroit, November 5th, Philadelphia,

November 7th, Washington, D.C., November 12th, Dallas, November 13th, Austin, November 15th, Houston, December 8th, Nashville, December 9th, Clearwater, Florida, December 10th, Fort Lauderdale, Florida. January 9th, San Francisco, January 23rd, Salt Lake City, January 24th, Denver, January 27th, Charleston, South Carolina, January 28th, Atlanta, the February 4th, Seattle, February 5th, Vancouver, and the Golden Crappies on February, I'm sorry, no, February 20th, Toronto, February 21st, Boston. And then February 25th, the Golden Crappies back in New York. So I know that's a lot. We promise we won't be going through that entire list of cities for the next three months.

But probably until the tickets go on sale, we'll be, you know, mentioning it here and there. Because we want you guys all to come to our show. We want to make sure no one's like, oh my God, I didn't even know you were coming to my city. So spread the word, let everyone know. And also, as long as we're here, Ronnie just put out a new newsletter on our Patreon, patreon. Patreon.com, slash watchwork crappens. We've got a new YouTube show on our YouTube channel. Subscribe over on YouTube.

It's called What's Your Order? We've got a new episode going up this week with Julia Cunningham. So a lot. We're firing on all the cylinders and we just want you to be part of the fun. Yeah. Anyway, we're here. Stay here with us. We're all the time.

So come here, be with us. Guy, be with us. Let's be together. I slept on, I think, the wrong side of my face or something. My eyes wonky. And I've got like a pink spot in between my eyes. I don't know why. So anybody asked me, I don't think I'm diseased.

What does a pink spot mean? Like a red spot in between my eyes. I don't know. I don't know what's... That was maybe a spot that was dangling from the ceiling and doing twirls. A pink spot. No, that's how I imagine I walk around, like Luann, always with my own spot. I'm like, hello.

Hey, girls. It's me. Just doing a... Just doing the number. I have perfect Luan voice for today, actually. I love your 2026 Luan. I'm not able to do it. Not that I can physically do it,

but I just enjoy doing classic Luan voice so much that I'm not willing to give it up. Yeah, do you're Luan. She does not have many years left with that voice. She is in the croaking stage of her life. And then in 10 years from now, she'll just be like, I am Luan, you know, it's going down that path. And we'll still go see her live.

We'll still, people will stay, still buy tickets. She'll be singing out of the little hole in your throat, like those old anti-smoking commercials, where they're like, don't smoke. And then smoke would come out of the little hole in their throat. She'll still be like, hello, dolly. Oh, hello, dolly. Pink Pony Club. But yeah, she's really, she's really just, she does not give a fuck.

She'll trash that voice. She's putting it in the blender in the morning. Yeah, it's all those high notes. The washing machine. Yeah, it sounds crazy, and I love it. Hey, girls. So here we are. The girls today are going to Atlanta, and they're going to go to a drag show.

Drag brunch. Wacky. Nothing straight people love more than a drag show. Gay people like it, too. I enjoy a good drag brunch as well, but I notice that straight people really love the drag brunch. Yeah. Yeah, they love it. Well, except for Vicky. So basically... Gretchen. I wish we could have brought Gretchen. Actually, this would have been a good one for the Orange County. Like, get Lydia back just to be mortified and tell us how the Bible doesn't approve and shit like that. What did we get? They should have brought Lydia back in her Charlie Chaplin drag. It's still the most horrifying drag in the history of pop culture. They needed to bring her back. She looked like that guy from Beetlejuice.

He's like, oh, you know, the Bible really hated. The Bible really didn't like drag queens, but loved adults who married 15-year-olds or whatever the hell. How old was his wife? Wasn't she like 16 or something? Wait, what? Oh, Charlie Chaplin. Charlie Chaplin's. Yeah.

Lydia has no problem with Charlie Chaplin. I don't think the point was that she would, I don't think she got to choose Charlie Chaplin. I think it was chosen for her, by the way. Not to, I mean, I don't, we'll have to double check, but I thought the whole thing was that Tamara picked out that outfit for her. And then she was like, what? Wasn't that it? No, they had to dress and drag. And some people, you know, she just, I think she chose Charlie Chaplin, but I remember she was like, oh, you know, drag queens are against the Bible.

I don't believe in this. And I was like, but Charlie Chaplin married two 16-year-old girls, actually. Wow. So it's interesting where her morals, her moral line fell. Anywho, that's not a surprise that Lydia was, I'm surprised that Lydia was not up on her Charlie Chaplin lore. We've officially given Lydia more attention than she deserves and that the show gave her, that this reboot. I'm telling you, I'm just looking up her and her in that drag again. And it's, it's still.

The photos, the photos are just like, they're almost, I mean, like, I actually feel like we didn't really appreciate what we had in that moment because it was, it was just so deranged. It was so. Didn't we, though? I feel like we really did appreciate it. That was one of those things where I don't feel like we didn't enjoy the time we were living it. We really did. I mean, that shit was crazy. Lydia, she just is tough.

It's truly one of the craziest things, Lydia, the Charlie Chaplin drag. Anyway, unfortunately, that drag was not, was not part of this retrospective. So everyone's getting ready, and Teresa's asking Lisa if she's tired because it's going nonstop. And we see a flashback from two days ago and they're at the airport. and Luan has Kyle's ticket. And Luan's like, the woman at checkout goes, hey, hi, Kyle. And I go, what?

I don't know why we needed a flashback to that story, but that's it. Luan. That's why I do everything myself. That's why I do everything myself. I've been checking myself. You know what? I go through the security.

I say, peep, beep, beep. What's a random check. Pat myself down and do the whole pat. Empty out my water. Get on the plane. Go grab myself some peanuts. People complain. I changed it to pretzels.

What are you going to do? I would do everything by myself now. For a moment, I wondered if they actually had paper tickets. I was like, knowing this cast, they probably would just be walking around with those big floppy paper tickets. But then, you know what? There's no but. I then decided, yes, they probably did have paper tickets. Like the ones you'd get from like STA travel and, you know, when you're in 2000.

Yeah, I got stuck there. I got stuck with that recently. I was coming and I was trying to do. the contactless, what is it called, faceless ID? Or what I guess you have to have a face. Like, don't even, you don't even have that in the head. Just get on this plane. When you had enough laser skin resurfacing that you're officially faceless, you're just

a bell walking through the ID. Touchless ID. And you were like, here's how to do it. So, you know, you told me how to do it. And I went on and I did it. And I filled out all the stuff. And then I went through it and I like, no, that's not on your boarding pass. I was like, but I did the paperwork.

And I said, you have to go to the. front counter to do it. So I went to the front counter and waited in that whole line. And then he was like, no, you do it online. I said, the guy told me to come over here, though. And he's, he just printed out a ticket and he goes, here. And I said, so is this for contactless ID? And he said, no, this is for the regular ID. I was like, girl, I've got clear and TSA pre. And he's like, you have to do it online. Wouldn't that show up on the computer? I did do it online. But He told me it takes time for it to process. No. Or maybe I bought my ticket before I signed up for the girl. I don't know. Anyway, the point is I had to get a paper ticket and I was so embarrassed going through there. I was like, oh, gone.

I actually don't mind. I just felt my nieces behind me, even though they weren't with me. I just felt them be like, God, Uncle, how old are you? Was it like on that thick cardstock with like all that, all the things written on in that one font, that one monos-based font that they used? That's like really like, welcome to 19-Den. They haven't changed.

Yeah, because I don't mind, like, if I have to check a bag and then it spits out a little boarding pass, I'm like, you know, I sort of don't mind this. There's something like really nice about just having this floppy piece of paper with a QR code on it. So when you get to the gate, you just show it. You don't have to like open up your phone and fumble or get the thing. Because you all know the moment that like you get your QR code ready for the scan, like the moment you start to move your phone over the thing, the phone's like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm bad about. And then everyone will hold it open for 20 minutes. And the second I get up there, it turns, it goes.

black because it goes white. And that ever looks at you, like, you're the, like, you're the Vicky Gunvils. And I was like, no, I swear I'm aware of QR codes and scanning. Like, I know how to do this. It's just that my phone went to sleep right at this moment, you know? I know. I know. They do with it.

It's just easy. It is, I don't. It's not, though. Like, the phone's better. But then, of course, the phone goes black and then you turn it, you flick it back on. And it's like, oh, you must enter your, your code now for whatever. It's like now you must reenable your phone by doing this code. You idiot!

That's what you get for being stupid than an airline. I had a period of time where I thought I was being real clever where you can actually do it with your watch. You can get the QR code on your watch and you can put your hand over it. And I was like, I'm going to do that. I'm going to use the maximum functionality of my Apple watch. But like literally every time I would do that, friends would text me. So then like the watch would then become like a text alert. And so nothing would scan.

And then like, you know, with a watch, it's like never easy to clear away. alert. Like you try to swipe. It's like, no, no, try harder. No, yeah. Come on, bitch. Shub me, shove me out of the way. I dare you. I'm a notification that won't be cleared. And you're like, and then I have to pull out my phone and have to do it anyway. And everyone's like, the stupid person, why do even think you could scan with his wrist? I'm like, it's a functionality. You actually can do it. It just so happens that my friend xed me at this moment. And you did it. You really did it at first when that first came out. You were like, you just put your wrist up and be like, bleep, and then walk away. It's like, what the hell?

You would do it for Apple Pay. You did it everywhere with your wrist. And I was like, how do you do that? You were like, Ronnie, it's like literally so easy. I don't use it. Guess what? I used it one time and I couldn't do it. And of course, I've like slammed it into the phone thing and scratched my watch.

But boom. You know the- Well, the thing is you almost always have to put your wrist into an unnatural position. Like, you can do it very easily at the supermarket with the self-checkout. You like double-click the side of your watch. And then like Apple Pay comes up and you like skip. But then what? What happens is you start doing this like weird like arm thing, but it's like not quite

at the low and you're doing it's just like it's it's actually just much easier to pull out your phone and just do that instead. Agreed. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. All right, so anyway, girls trip, they're in the airport. It's a disaster. And then, um, we see that Lisa is in a different row and everyone's like, oh my God, where's Lisa? This is the very start of Lisa starting to lose it because they're really sending them all day every day. And every day is packed with events that they have to do. So people are starting to get tired. This is supposedly day three. I don't even know how that's possible. It's got to be later, right? Are they really

only on their third day? Because I'm exhausted. I feel like it's been a season. But for them, it's only day three. And Lisa, they're all kind of complaining about being tired, but we see in the previews that Lisa is finally like an hour late somewhere and everybody. Yeah. gets pissed. So everybody enjoy Lisa Barlow's final episode as kind of a hero. Yeah. Good graces with this group where they all really like her.

So yeah, so it's nonstop and they're going to Atlanta and they're really excited about it and they had to be up early for glam and Borsha's saying like the first thing they're going to do

is a drag brunch and then they're going to go back to the hotel and have a change. And then they're going to go to this alter ego party afterwards, and Nini is going to be there. And so we see a flashback to the first week when Portia Nini had a conversation. So, I mean, this show really, as people have noted extensively, this show is really just like many, many flashbacks

strung together with, like, thin, like elements of narrative. And now they're just doing flashbacks. It just like two weeks ago. It used to be that they were flashing back 13 years ago. now they're, now they're just flashing back to those like, you know, remember when this happened at the beginning of our flashback retrospective? So it's meta flashbacks now. Remember when Kyle on the WANswitch tickets? Like, hey, that just happened two seconds ago.

I know. Yeah, it is that. I thought it was funny that they're doing a drag brunch and then they're doing an alter ego part. Like, isn't, aren't your alter ego's drag queens? Like, what show am I watching? Yeah. Also, the drag queens did not do anything for these. Housewives. I was kind of disappointed in the drag.

I... The drag of this all. The drag of it all. I just feel like a drag brunch. It's like fun, but I feel like for this show, I would rather a backdrop that would lead to more interaction amongst the ladies, because they're just sitting there watching a show and be like, oh, my God. And so I just want, I want more of the interpersonal relationships to develop, because I think the best part of the show is seeing some of the friction that they all have because they all have different backgrounds and experiences, obviously. And like, Vicky being our Debbie Downer of the group and just not meshing with everyone is like very funny to me. And so the drag bunch was nice, but like, I don't know. It felt like it was

material for a trailer. Yeah, I could have used an hour of the alter ego party where they were just all mixing. So they're talking about this drag brunch and Luan is like, oh, well, for my alter ego. I think I'm going to, I'm going to really take the counter side of myself. Okay, so you're just going to do the same. You can do the same thing. I mean, Luann is a drag queen already, so. She really is. It's like Carol said.

I hear, in the middle of the night, I hear two male voices. One of them was Luan. So girls, this is what I'm going to do. Okay, watch. So I won't be like my normal self. Instead, I'll just be walk around being like, do you know I'm a cabaret star? Did you know? Did you know? Right, that's hilarious. My alter ego.

They're like, yeah, that's just who you are anyway. Do you remember your thing? Because Zheel's just looking at her like, wow, you're going to be the countess? That's crazy. She's like, you know, I'm a, you know what I'm a cabaret star, right? Yeah. Yeah. I've heard.

I was at the party last night where you ziplined in in a diaper. I mean, I think it's good that just let Luann have herself be her own alter ego because otherwise we might get another problematic Diana Ross wig. And thankfully, Jazeel is the one who takes, she claims that one. She's going to be Diana Ross. So Luann has no other choice. I know. I'm surprised Luann didn't say something like, been there, done that. I did it better.

I'm Aretha Franklin today. Hello, everyone. I, you may know me as the countess, but today you may know me as the queen. Queen Latifah, Queen Latifah Della Saps. She just had like one of the head. I'm your private dancer, your dancer for money. She did say she wanted to do some Tito Turner. God, if she had a Tito Turner wig.

We don't need another. Lime. Hero. like if if she had if louan came dressed up like Tina Turner and mad max I would like to know I would like to know for the community is that very very problematic because obviously if she wears an afro that's extremely problematic is mad max garb still problematic because it's a very funny visual to me and if it is problematic I will accept it and I'm not going to push for it but I would like I would love to know because it would be kind of funny with those big earrings

And the big sort of like mullet thing, that main of hair. Yeah, the famous Tina Turner. But I think it's the famous Tina Turner look, I mean. But yeah, I think it would still be problematic. And also blue hands, you know, she's going to have bronzer on there. There was, it's just bronzer. Yeah, that's the thing. I'm not allowed.

Two men enter. One man leaves with a cabaret star. Thunderdum. I want to dance with somebody. This goes down the list. She has Whitney Houston's original big tall hair. I think I really go out of Franklin. Oh my gosh, Lou Ann.

The problem is is that she would do it. She was probably, she probably already came up with all these ideas and was told, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I have a good one. I have a good one. I know you're shot down all the others. what about I come out as 1996 era Brandy? No, Luad, you cannot do that. Okay, so Giselle is, of course,

trying to get people to talk shit at all times. So she's like, well, we're having a good time as a group, but, you know, there have been some trying times. She's like, oh, yeah, let me tell you that. I love Lisa and Teresa, also that they rhyme. I'm an artist. You know, we're vibing, we're making the best of the time. And then Vicki's like, well, let's play the quiet game.

Well, I don't want to play the quiet game. I've got my video, a video of myself ziplining in and doing an amazing number. And what does you want to do? She wants to play the quiet game. Well, I don't want to. So I thought, we're having a good time. Because I was like, yeah, what are you in kindergarten? Yeah, exactly.

I mean, we're just different. It's cultural differences. Oh, now you understand cultural differences. Right after we've had this Diana Ross talk. Yeah, seriously. I do kind of love the idea. Vicki, listen to Luann. Let's be honest, probably yammer away about herself. And Vicki finally be like, let's pit the quiet game. Yeah, that member in the car, they were driving and Luan's trying to show a video. She's like, oh, yeah, remember my performance five minutes ago? Let's watch it again. Someone got it on video. She's sitting there and she's singing along to it and Teresa's singing along. Vick is like, shut up, please. Just stop singing. Stop thing.

Let's all just be quiet. Hey, you want to come hang out in my room? No, we're going to all go to our road rooms. Okay, we're going to go to our own rooms. For some reason, I remember that scene. For some reason, I thought Luan was talking about a different scene that was off camera where Vicki did it to her again. But yes.

We were talking about being in the car. She's like, Vicki's a real asshole. But, you know, that's Vicky. So then we go to Vicky, who is saying, you know, Louette's so annoying, but I've really got to lay off of her. You know, I don't want to hear a sing, but I just don't want to hear a singing anymore, but she does have a job, so. Yeah, and so then Kyle's like, well, Portia told me that it was just for the drag brunch

that we're going to, but then I think I saw in TMZ or something, that Nini was going to be showing up with a housewife somewhere, so I'm like thinking we're in Atlanta. I know he's lurking somewhere, but like, where is she? What? I'm friends with her, by the way. In case someone was wondering, I'm friends with her. So then Lisa's like, hey, Teresa, I've been laughing so much this trip.

I've laughed till I cried. Oh, I'm like, yeah, me too. Like, you know what I notice? Like when we're laughing with each other, it's like a fresher breath here. They're like a fresher breath air. It's like a fresher breath there. You know, it's like a whole bunch of fresh. That's like a breath, but of there, you know?

And then we see a montage of Teresa's biggest ding-dong hits. Yeah, like, you know, I want to make a cookbooks because, like, you know, it's so, it's so hard to get the ingredients is, you know, like, this comment. Like, what? The cookbook people are just looking at her like, oh, Jesus. Why would we sign a deal with this person? And then they had to selling nine trillion copies or whatever. And then she went on to NextGen in New York City and said she doesn't like to cook. So then everyone's getting ready.

They get into their cars. It's 10 a.m. And Kyle's like, I can't believe we're going to a drag show at this hour. It's crazy. And Fager's going to be at the drag show. And then there's going to be some other surprises. And Portia tells us that the girls know that Nini is going to be at the alter ego party. But they have no idea she's going to be at the drag brunch.

And they're going to flip their wigs because Nini started Atlanta. And she's the one who brought all of her girlfriends onto the show. And like those girlfriends are superstars as well. And then we get Michael. So about Atlanta. And by Atlanta, Great. Yes. And of course, Vick, he's like, I've never watched it, Atlanta.

Let me, how many TV shows? Can you watch? Housewives, though. Come on. Luser. You. Like, such a hater. Vicky, in 2009, there were not as many TV shows to watch.

And it was another Housewife show. You could have watched Atlanta, at least back then. Sorry, they can all be classic Matlock. You fucking. loser who says that like vicky doesn't even understand how problematic she is like of course you don't watch the black show of course and of course you're not going to know who anyone from potomac is can you imagine how she is with married to medicine people say i don't understand what is that what's that mean you're married to a hospital like that's stupid what do you who are you married to

like a chest exam and x-ray stupid a show that's truly about people in their jobs. And she's like, what? I don't know. It happens a lot. It's actually very unfortunate. The amount of times people will talk to is like, oh, my God, you have a show about Bravo. I love all the house.

I watch this one. I watch this one or this one. I'm like, oh, what about Atlanta? Oh, I don't watch Atlanta. It's like, it's crazy with people. Like, it's like, do you realize like how problematic you are? It's fucked up. Right.

The best. This world. The best of all the housewives, at least for a solid seven, eight years. At least, yeah, for a while there. So, yeah, they're all talking about why it's iconic and we see clips from Atlanta and stuff like that. And Portia says that when she started Housewives, I was just a baby. And I like when we see flashbacks of Portia because she does talk like that back then. Yeah.

She really talked like that. Bye, Ashley. Bye. When they went into that church. And she's like, well, certainly somewhere around here, there has to be a hole for the. for the railroad. They're like, oh, no. Yeah.

It's on the ground. How else are you going to get down there? Oh, no. It's not a literal railroad, for sure. Yeah. Come on. I do have to say, like, seeing this, like, this sort of all these former cast members, you do realize, like, wow, like, there was a period of time where Atlanta just had was

just nothing but pure talent. I mean, it was just talent, you know, with a great assault. because some of these people I would not say are talented. Kim Zolsiak, but like, you know, Kenya Moore doing Gone with Gone with the Wind, fabulous, Shre, doing the Sherey stuff. You do have the classic Kim clips. You have Nini, like Porsche,

Candy. I mean, it was watching these clips, you're like, wow, we had it good for a long time. And now having just like finished up the Atlanta reunion, I think Atlanta's on the upswing. I think it's great. But when you watch someone like Kelly, you're like, ugh.

Like, you are standing. Standing in very large shoes, ma'am. You need to pull up. Well, that's her diss for Angela, though. So you can't say large shoes, big feet. But, yeah, it's, it's awkward watching Kelly in comparison. So then they go to Lips. And Lisa's like, oh, my God, are we here?

Wow, Lips is and Buckhead. I like that even Lisa can get snotty about, she can get snotty even about a town. She probably doesn't even know. Wow, Lips isn't Buckhead. Teresa's like, this is Buckingham, right? Buckingham? They're like, no. Louis, like, oh, I love a drag show. I love my queens.

I did everyone show up here for me. Okay, I'll take the stage. So they go in, and Vicki's like, I mean, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but, I mean, you've been to one drag show, you've been to them all. So, it's like, you always know Vicki's going to throw a little bit of acid in there now. So then here comes Nini. She's in her car, she's approaching, and she's saying how, like, her stomach hurts a little bit, but she's a little nervous, nervous to come back.

Yeah, Nini. I fucking love seeing Nini. Mimi just drives in, like, waving, you know, it's like to the crowd. And everywhere she goes, they're like, oh, my God, standing ovation for Nini, which I get it. But it's funny how you get so famous on these shows. Like, during the drag show, Teresa's like, oh, yeah? you want to like call me a prostitution or something. And expecting everybody to know all their lines.

I don't think the drag queen really even knew her lines. Drag queen's like, shut up. Shut up, lady. Commercials. Here comes one right now. So then Portia's talking about Fadra and frickin' frack and they had pajamas together and all of that. And then they, Fadra shows up and Fadra and Porsche are matching.

And they're like, oh my God, this is crazy. We're always matching. It's wild. And then Fadra sees Luan and goes, oh, it's giving Captain and Janiel girl. Because Luan's wearing like a bedazzled, you know, like captain's hat, like sailor hat. She's like, yes, Captain and Danil. I don't know who those people are, but I know that they're stupid. I'm Katas Luan, the one and the only, okay?

Saw the girls gather and laugh and hug. You know, it's entrance after entrance, because it's a scrolls trip. And then the drag show begins, and the host is like, welcome to Leps, bitch. What's your name? What's your name, honey? Vicky. Oh, Vicky. What a coincidence.

I like Dickie. Yeah. Dundt. Wait. Um, right now. Um, so. And then. I never understood that.

Turtlenecks without sleeves. Like, why would you do that? It's stupid. It's just a stupid content. So then the drag queen is like, oh, hi, Portia. She's like, hey, girl, how are you? I'm not a girl. I'm a woman.

And a lady, bitch. Don't call me a bitch. Call me a ho. Okay. Do you like to be called a prostitution whore? What? Did you say prostitution whore? Oh, those are on the streets.

Mickey may have a point here or there. It wasn't the highest tier. It wasn't my favorite drag show. Yeah. It's like they kind of got people to play the drag queen. Like, girl, if you're going to be doing a real housewives day at a drag show, first you have to imitate the house. Not even the host necessarily, but you at least need to be able to know some jokes for them.

You know what I mean? Like, you have to know what prostitution horn is. Yeah. So, Teresa's like, I never thought that prostitution hall was going to be so iconic. Michelle Obama just recently said it on a podcast. It was amazing. Now, can someone tell me who Michelle Obama is? Yeah, it's going to be prostitution while I never knew it was iconic. It's not. The drag queen doesn't even know what it is. It is iconic, though. But it's sad that it's not iconic enough for a drag queen to know. It's like when you've gotten to the point where Michelle Obama knows who you are, but a drag queen doesn't know who you are, that's a crazy place for housewives to have gone, basically.

Yeah. I don't know how to explain it. So then Teresa's like, why are these straws so tick? And then the drag queen is like, well, you must have, you must not have had a big one in your life. And she's like, but it reminds me of that. It reminds you of the big ones. But it's even bigger. Even bigger.

Oh, okay, you don't drink it like this, though. And then she starts deep-throding the straw. And Tasia's like, look at you. They out drag queen the drag queens, which is amazing. Like, the drag queen doesn't really even know what to do with her. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm impressed with modern straight people and disappointed in modern gay people. That the straight people, though, the housewives jokes better than the gay people. You know?

Well, you know what it is? come to a crazy place. Yeah, the other thing is that, like, you know, everyone is in their own different, like, their own different verticals of reality TV, and we're in the Bravo vertical. There's also the world of The Bachelor. There's now a Hulu space.

There's 90-day fiancee, and there's drag queen space. And I think one thing that we've discovered is that there's not actually a huge amount of crossover between, like, the drag queen, like the drag race community and the Bravo community. So I think what's happening here, and by the way, I don't know if that Tasia is necessarily. was on drag race at all.

But I think what we're seeing here is like two different communities trying to like commune. And it's like it's like going nicely, but you can tell like the difference between like a hardcore Bravo star versus someone who's like, okay, cool, some housewads are coming in. I can make some jokes. I'll do some research. I'll do some jokes. Like you just can tell when people know, like, know and feel the celebrities amongst them versus like, oh, okay. this is cool that they're coming into the club and I'm going to research them and we'll have some fun with them, right? Right, but they didn't even research them. That was the thing. Like, no one had an, no one knew any lines or any imitations or anything. And I know, I think what you're saying about the fan crossover is true. Like, we've talked about that for years, how it's so crazy that there's like housewives gays and drag race gays. And I'm not saying, nere the twain shall meet, but very rarely do they. Yeah, we see, you know, we see it in what, we do, you know, all the time. Or in gays, you know, when you're talking to a gay.

It's like, oh, yeah, I don't watch Housewives. Ew, drag race. You know, and then they'll have, like, viewing parties of drag races. They know parties and stuff. And we're obviously Bravo gays. So I guess it's offensive to me, though, not in the fan aspect, but the drag queen aspect. I feel like Housewives should be a part of drag college. Like, you have to be educated.

You can't just get up there and not know Teresa Jude. you know, that's nuts to me. I feel like our communities should be more intermingled. I'll always remember the time in what, like 2018 or so, 17 or 18, when before Leon Lockin had taken a nosedive, we went to the Abbey with her, and we were there with the Abbey, but then also some like,

some drag queens from drag race were there. And we were in one banquet, and then the drag, the drag race stars were in another banquette. And I just remember everyone just like cramming to get to the drag race stars. And it's like, we have, in my mind, I kept thinking to myself, we have a whole ass real housewife here, here. And like, no one cares. And that was the moment I realized, oh, there are just like these,

I always assumed that both communities were like very intermixed. You know, it's like all fun, gay culture. And I realized like, oh, no, if you're, if you're watching drag race, you're almost always going to be fully focused on drag race. And again, it's like, obviously, there are people who are fans of both worlds. But that's when I realized, like, oh, people don't have, it's more like people just don't have time to immerse themselves in two different universes. It's really, really hard.

It's hard to get as encyclopedic about like housewives, if you're already doing it for drag race. If you're going to drag con, it's probably hard to also pivot into like the world of Bravo. And, yeah, those are my thoughts. Yeah. So the drag queens do a show, and they're supposed to be each of the ladies, but I give it a five. Like I said, no one does really lines or, you know, lip sinks to anything. They just kind of play voiceover clips while people do a walk, looking somewhat-ish like the housewives.

But the housewives love it. And Luanne's like, oh, it's really fun to me when people come up to me and they quote my lines. Not drag queens, because apparently they don't know any, but I, you know, I have t-shirts. Oh, yeah, even my mugshots. That's one of my bestsellers. And so we see a lot of this different drag queens come out. They're all in fun, you know, tribute looks. The Fadro drag queen was maybe not the most successful.

Not even close. Even the housewives, the housewives were in pretty good, pretty good-humored about all of like they were loving all of it. You know, it's like someone in kind of a blondeish wig. It's Teresa. They're like, oh my gosh, that must be Teresa. How hilarious. But Fadre was not even close.

Fadre was like, I've ever worn anything like that. No, no, no. I know. And then it's like, it seems like it's over, but there's one more clip. We hear, I said what I said. And they're like, oh my God, is it Nini? Is it Nini?

And then like, Nini comes out and like this. She's sort of like, she didn't sort of like a, like a cocoon of something another, and then of feathers. Like feather fans. And they like open up and it's NeNe and then of course, Kyle jumps up from her chair and runs up on stage and gives her a hug. I was like, that is so Kyle Richards

to be the first one to run and embrace publicly the fan favorite, the one that's been getting all this press that everyone's loving for her to sort of like announce visually like, I know her, she's my friend. she's mine. Actually, I like her more than it. Like, we're actually... Rojis. Rojis. Yeah. We're actually OGs.

So, you know, I got it. I've been... Pretty much... Yeah. I got it. We're as famous as each other. I thought that to you when she ran right up there. I was like, well, maybe Vini has prepared something, you know? It turns out she really didn't. But, uh, yeah, Kyle jumped her. But, like, you don't...

Like, also, why are you running onto a stage to hug anyone? Like, she's on stage. She's doing a bit. Like she was doing something. So, like, Kyle was like, no. Everyone needs to know that I knew her first and I knew her longest. I mean, I just thought it was so obnoxious. I couldn't stand it. Kyle is the sort of person that if she were ever opening an envelope on an award show,

LOL, she never will. But if she were, she'd be like, and the winner, for best actress goes to, my friend, Joan Allen. My good friend, my dear friend. So, La Padma. Yeah, she is like that. So the show ends. They all go to the table to chat, and Meanie's like, well, I met the Fadre impersonator.

And Fadre's like, oh, God, I said, Lord Jesus. What is that her attorney outfit? That hot pink thing? Yeah, they hated it. So they make small talk with Nini, but basically just out. her if she's nervous and she said, yeah. And Kyle's like, oh my God, I was nervous too. I mean, I got choked up.

Look at me. I was crying. Like, I felt things. Nini came out. Was anyone else crying? Because I was crying. I was crying. I felt it.

We're close. We're like this. We're like sisters. Oh, my God. Like, now that I'm seeing that, Nini's talking to all the other people, I'm going to sit on her lap just to really make sure people see that I'm like even closer when Nini,

then people can realize. Yeah. Nini was like the first house. So I felt any franchise that I became friends with. Okay. Like, I sort of invented Nini, if you think about it. And, like, Nini and I've had, like,

lunches and dinners, and, like, we've gossiped and shared private things with each other. And, like, we've just always had each other's back. And I'm just, like, really, really missed her. I don't doubt that they know each other and their friends. But, like, since when did... But, like, since when was it at this level and this depth?

Like, you never had her on to Beverly Hills. You never had her anywhere. Like, now all of a sudden, Kyle is, like, the biggest Nini fan and friend of all time. We're basically about friends. So they ask her if she's missing the show and how it's been being off the show. And Nini said that at the beginning she was really happy to be gone. But then she was like, but wait, how are they doing a show without me?

Like, what the hell? Like, how is this still going on? And it's like, yeah, you feel left out. You feel left out. I totally get that. I did a kind of like, you feel left out. I get it. I get it.

And Nini says, you start feeling really weird. This is my show. Oh, by the way, Didi, I just wanted to say, you're welcome. You're welcome for me building your show for you to have back to. Thank you. And Portia says that when she left, she thought she was just going to be done with the housewives, you know, and wanted to see what life would be like outside the camera. And like she got peace.

But then she also, she became protective of her peace. That way when she went back on camera, she was like, so if we're going to talk about something and we're dealing with it, It's got to be some real shit, which is why I made America sit through a fake love triangle between Mike and Sway this entire season. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one, of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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