Watch What Crappens - #3521 Below Deck Med S11E13 Part One: Sink or Swim

Episode Date: September 1, 2026

This is part 1 of a 2-part recapOn this week’s Below Deck Med, current fugitive and all around garbage person Nathan faces more undermining from Joe. Meanwhile, an awful guest nearly dies at the dinner table. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, sign up for our free weekly newsletter and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to watch what crap is, a podcast about all that fun crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I am Ben Mandelker. Joining me today on this momentous below-deck Mediterranean recap is the one and only the fearless. Ronnie Karam. How are you, Ronnie? Hello, how are you? Oh, good, good. I'm just bad. I really don't have a lot of fear, actually. But I don't think it's like bold thing. I think it's more of like a kind of a stupidity thing.

One of those people who will just walk into the road. I would not characterize myself as someone who has too much fear. I think I have, it's more like I'm just full of fear. It's like it's not that I have a certain amount of fear in me. I'm just nothing but fear, right? It's like, and I have the water can't be wet. Like the water is wet. like a you know it's like i am water can't be wet it makes you wet it makes you wet right like i am

yeah so it's not like i have fear in me or i have a certain like i'm you know it's like it's just it's not even it's just a state it's not even a state it's just it is like i'm and i'm talking like bethany now but um we are really excited because we're going on tour soon uh we'll have the dates and all that ready soon enough we're just waiting for the we're waiting for the signal from on high to announce when those things will go on sale, but we are, we're coming to a city near you. Don't you worry. We'll, we'll have that. If you missed the city list, it's not a previous episode. We're not going to go through it today. But we will have it. We will have it soon enough. Also, Patreon, patreon.com slash watch for Crappins. Come join us over there. Newsletter.

Crappins on demand. Bonus episodes. Fun things like that. YouTube, we've got a vibrant to YouTube and what's your order is the new YouTube series I've just kick started over there and I'm gonna get the new episode it's probably gonna go live later today maybe even while we're recording I'll just like it I'll just hit live right now right now right now right now right now it's ready to go it let's go from unlisted should I do it yeah it's so exciting right now it's to be like life is happening the new head said life is happening so fast right now but uh but uh but But for real, go check that out.

It's really, really fun. It's just like, we're just trying to, honestly, we're just trying to grow up our YouTube channel. And so trying to make some content directly for YouTube. That'll be fun for you guys to watch. So go check it out. Do it. Today, it's below deck Mediterranean Day.

Yes. It's also the day that Nathan was supposed to show up to court and did not show up to court. And so, The witness against him, presumably Gail, still not being mentioned in news articles, but showed up with witnesses. And he was convicted in his absence. Apparently he fled the country. Nobody knows where he yet.

So he's a wanted man, this fucking asshole. They also released details of what he did to Gail, which are. Yeah, they were terrible. Terrible. Let me tell you something. I have a bad feeling this is going to end. This is going to end badly. I'm telling you this right now.

Like, you fled Australia, and he's also a fugitive in Ireland. Like, this is not going to end well for anyone. For assault as well. So, yeah. Yeah, so pretty gross. So, you know, another week in the row, fuck that guy. But otherwise, there's another guy who's terrible on this show, and he is the main guy. I mean, nothing compared to Nathan.

I don't think we need to start comparing, you know, abuse to anything. Nathan's going to win in that department. But this guy is also terrible. And the barf's on a plate. So I love that for him on national TV. Oh, that guy. Yeah, I thought you were talking about Joe. I was like, yeah, Joe's bad too.

I think Joe sucks too. Like, this is one of those weird moments that happens to us once in a while where, you know, like the preamble is Nathan fucking sucks. fucking sucks if you read those details trigger warnings obviously for many people like it's it's vivid and it's scary and it's terrifying and then now we have to go and recap this show where Nathan isn't necessarily being cast in a villainous light and so like I know like I'm gonna be commenting based off of the storytelling that's presented to us which is that there are times in today's episode we'll be like fucking Joe and like Nathan is right but there will also be times where I'll say that Joe is right but just so you know when we say

these things like we are fully or I should just say it for myself I'm fully aware that Nathan is terrible and a monster and he's been he's been shitty for a while and now it's just like more has just been exposed but you know I kind of felt like we have to sometimes say that because people will be like how could you even say anything positive about this guy it's like they'll just talk about what's on the TV show at the moment well so bravo could say anything too positive yeah you know the most famous example is recapping Vanderpump rules during Scandival where everybody knew what happened in Scandival, but you had to watch the season to finally get there. So, yeah, it was that.

It's like, well, they are kind of dicks to Raquel, like, or Rachel. Yeah, but Raquel at the time. Rachel was the, she was like the hero of that season. And we're like, uh, yeah. Until the end. I remember at one point saying, and this is the point, Raquel decided she was fucking all of your boyfriends. Everyone was being so mean.

I just remember, you know, you have to put actual real-life events aside for the recap. So let's do it. It's below-deck med season 11, episode 13. Deck Daddy's Home, which was... Big Daddy! How are you feeling about... Oh, go ahead. I was going to say, I did make that video live, and it is the top five Summerhouse cast members,

as judged by me and Julia Cunningham from Sirius X-M, Radio Brandy. Okay, go on. Great. So what do you feel about... I don't mean it like, great. Great. Well, good for you.

Good for you in Summer House. I'm like, while we're in the middle of ranting about Nathan and has domestic violence, let me also shell the YouTube channel. Thank you very much. Can we get just a clip of that? Domestic violence. Julia Cunningham.

Coming, grind. That's your one. Who's going to love them? By the way, top five summer high stars coming up with Julie County. Thank you very much. I was going to say, how do you feel about Cooper these days? I, you know, the only thing Cooper really did to piss me off was, you know, kind of trying to blow off what's her buttons, cat. Because he went all hot and heavy, then kind of blew her off and then acted like a total asshole.

trying to be like a Joe type to copy his new dag daddy. And that made me just hate him. And then he's reverted back to his, I'm just a sweet boy from the South. I want his stupid face gone now. I don't, I don't trust it. It's like once I see that little glimmer and then his will just have a relationship in secret. I, he still seems like he's so sweet. I, what a what a punchable person on the screen. I just want him off. Get him off. Yeah. Well, someone's going to get him off. Watch that. Between cat or Jen. I think that he, like, by default, I think he's okay. I think he's like generally nice. I thought that whole interlude with cat was really shitty. And I don't like this secret dating thing. It seems like production.

likes him a lot. They're giving a very complimentary edit. They've even said on the air, I think you're so precious, like they love him. But we know, first and foremost, he's a man from Charleston, which, by the way, we will be going to Charleston again on our tour. But he is a man from Charleston, which means that he's inherently a liar and a fuck boy. Sorry. Second of all, unfortunately, to drop back to Nathan, what this saga has actually really shown is that a good edit doesn't necessarily mean you're a good person. And Nathan for several years had a very complimentary edit, where he was seen as this nice guy, especially last season. You definitely clocked him many, many times for the fact that he was fucking around as much as anyone else, but then he decided

to rebrand himself as being totally loyal to Gail. And now he's, and now decides that he's in love with Gail. So they gave him this very romantic story. And like the point is that like he's a monster. And we even saw that he is a fucking asshole in between seasons when there was a horrific shooting in Sydney. And Nathan released a video basically saying, get these people out of our country, yada, yada, yada, this like sort of right-wing intolerant bullshit that like no one should be saying about anyone. And so we already knew he was a piece of shit from that. But I think we're like, okay, but we'll sort of like, well, okay, we'll watch the show and we'll just sort of whatever. We'll see how this. But then this stuff comes out.

So I guess the point of the story is you never really know. But we've got a glimpse of the fact that Cooper could be an asshole. And I think what we're learning is that when we see those glimpses, we have to, like, not ignore them. Yeah. But, you know, he still comes on every five seconds. Like, oh, who, he, oh, he, oh, he, oh, he, oh, yeah. Not buying it anymore, okay? You ruined it.

Your mask fell, sir. Your mask fell. So who does that leave out of the guys who's likable right now? I think one of those No one, right, that's it. Huh? Maybe one of the engineers. Oh, yeah.

They should just bring those guys on. Just let Huey, Louie and Dewey, whatever they're name. Maybe Max? Max. Max gets it. Max has had a good season. Yeah. This is the perfect season for Max.

He shows up for one charter, and then he leaves to go on a mission of international intrigue, which is probably going to be related to the police boat that shows up next. episode that was in the trailer right like we have to imagine that police boat is like um one of your deck hands was arrested trying to smuggle someone into Libya right it's got to be i don't i don't know i didn't think it was max i figured it was one of the people on the boat that's what i think they want you to think what would very time law they care about what's happening in tunisia

Because do you think that Max, who is like the equivalent of like a cartoon detective, like traipsing into Tunisia to smuggle his daddy away from a cartel and announcing it on like national television is not going to create chaos? By the way, good luck not paying your dues to the cartel by announcing it on television like, oh, we are not going to pay the cartel. Cartels are not, they don't care about international jurisdiction. They will find your ass, okay? Tell daddy. You know who else will? Banks and the law. I mean, you're talking about, like, my dad was committing fraud for the cartels and then

the banks cut him off. So the banks have got to be looking for the dad, too. So you're not only running from the cartels. It's like you're running from the law and the lawless, you know. I don't think that's a winning thing, but it is max, you know. Maybe he'll just annoy the cartels. much that they're like, you know what, just stop doing backflips. Please. Just calm down and we'll, yeah, we'll just, let's call it, let's call it even. Just please, please stop it. It's like that

episode of documentary now where Bill Hader and Fred Armisen play like these Brooklyn hipster documentarians who like go to like document their cartels in Mexico and they like show up. A woman's got like a sweater on with like a big flower on it. And they're like, So, like, what's it like being in the cartel? And the cartel gets actually so annoyed with them that, like, the cartels, like, they can't, they can't, the cartel keeps, I think, if I remember correctly, the cartel keeps on trying to kill them, but they, like, can't actually not. They just somehow keep on avoiding all the cartels' plans to the point where the cartel's like, okay, fuck these guys, never mind. We're just going to leave, we're going to stop doing what we're going to do, doing. That's what I imagine with Max.

Yeah. That will have been a state. Just call it a day. Just we'll call it even. Just please leave us alone. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. So we opened where we left off last week with Max telling them,

My father, I'm going to save my father. I'm going to smuggling me out of Tunisia. So, um, San Diego and I just remind you, Max. Can I just remind you? Unexploaded landmines. Okay, don't forget, unexploded landmines. Are you sure you want to go down there?

Unexploded landmines. Let me tell you one thing that I've never told Norma. You're not Rambo. Okay. Listen, Max, it's very dangerous, okay? You go walking around there. Do you know how many unexploded Normas there are? I'm sorry, I meant landmines.

You have to be careful at all times. Okay. Imagine Norma having dairy and then riding on a wagon. Imagine that explosion in the ground. That's what you're going to be stepping on over. Okay. I didn't even think you liked fish in the first place. Get it's a joke, Tunisia.

It's like your tuna. It's a plan. The word tuna, Max. Keep up. Come on. You've got to have some leviting these moments. But you're a grown man, and it's your decision. I'm just going to go.

I'm sorry. I know you are the captain, but the plan, fly to Tunisia. I take my father. Get him out of the country. I'm taking a car. I'm crossing the desert. I go to Libya. She's like, oh, geez. Oh, God. What you're doing is raw emotion. You can barely squeege you a duck, okay? Do you even know, are you even legally allowed to rent a Hertz in Libya?

Have you checked? How are you going to get out of Libya? Like, what is the next step after that? Once you arrive in Libya, it's not like, is that going to be okay being just hanging out in Libya with your dad who's being chased by the cartel. I'm sure the cartel has some connections in Libya, too. Well, I guess I'm not totally clear of what's really happening here. Is it that the cartel is after the dad, or is it that the government is after the dad? Either way, I think like Max... It sounds different this week through. Yeah, and it doesn't, and I'm not saying he was lying or anything the first week, but the first,

last week, the impression was a little different. This time he's saying that he's in trouble with the banks because he can't get his money out because he was wrong. writing checks to do whatever. So he needs to go get his dad money to get him out of the country. But last week what they set it up was that he was laundering for the cartel and then the banks cut him off. So that's why I'm saying I think he's being chased by, I think he's just being chased by everybody, the dad. That's the point you just have to say good luck, you know? Like your parents do it to your parents did it to you. And I'm not saying as revenge or anything like that, but parents do at one point tell their kids, you know, you're old enough. I'm not going

be able to bail you out if you can't pay your rate you can't pay your rent good luck sucker and i think think you should be able to tell your dad that too fuck that guy i don't think the dad should have put max in this position assuming that even was the dad like there's a part of me that's like this is just like an a i they got it they tortured this poor man got his voice and now they're just tricking max to come all the way down there and like the dad's long dead sorry and so he's there and now they've like conned max into bringing like a little bag of money or the other way this goes is daddy is alive and daddy has been say, please don't kill me. No, my son, he's on TV. He's a huge star. I'll get him to come here. And then, like, you'll get so much, he'll be able to get you so much money. And then Max shows up and

they find that that he's just like a bit player on a reality show on Bravo and has actually no money to his name. Yeah, well, that's my other question. Like, if you owe money to the cartel, you don't make very much, I wouldn't think. So, yeah, what are you going to take? What are you going to trade them? I don't know. This whole thing is, is fucked up. And Sandy's like, don't do it, Max, don't do it. What you're doing is raw motion. It's your life. And he's like, well, it's dangerous for my father.

I don't want to lose time. I must go now. I must go now. It's like, okay, I understand. But, you know, listen, remember this. You're not stuck in a car on a first date with Norma. You don't have to get out right now, okay? But I get it.

You know, and if you want to do something like that, just know your way to the closest embassy just in case. Or embassy suite. You know, you can always leave the light on or whatever the hell they say. I mean, that is a decent place. There's no chocolates on your pillows anymore. But, you know, I love a soap that you unwrap fresh every day. Max, I want you to think less days in and more nights out, as in let's turn the lights out on this plan.

You see what I'm doing there. I know you want to go on a holiday in Tunisia, but maybe consider a holiday out of half. Okay. Oh, Merrill Street. It was in your courtyard, Marriott, Max. Make the right decision. I love you. Okay?

But you have to take care of yourself, okay? Now you text me or you call me if you're ever in trouble, unless it's in trouble with heroin, methamphetamines, or any kind of other drug. Call Hannah. Okay. She'll take care of you. This is a really big decision. I want Max to consider the dangers he's about to put himself into. If it was Leah, I mean, of course I would go.

I mean, little bear would be inconsisten. Bear would be inconsolable if he never got to see Leah again, but I would do it methodically. You know, I would go to the embassy and be like, hey, who wants the motivational speech? Okay, it'll cost you one trip to save my BB. Okay, thank you. Here's the method I would use. One, I would book a conference room at whatever Marriott there isn't, Tonega. I would book an international women's conference starring Sandy.

I would put on a mustache so nobody knew it was me. But you say it's with Sandy. It's a different Sandy, okay? Maybe it's a Sandy from Greece. So I'll put on a beard, a mustache, big gradual marks glasses, right a donkey in there. Have we talked about wrapped soaps at the Embassy Suites? Those are really something.

Come on, I have to go. You're wasting my time. Max, Max, Max, Max, Max. I really need you to think about Embassy Suites. Because if you're going there, you're a Gundin Lodging, and I think you're going to want like a little seating area by your bed. So just consider the NBC suites, okay? Just please do this without emotion.

It's not worth the money for the view. The view is a parking lot. Spoiler alert. So Nathan hugs him. And Nathan's saying now, you know, he has the opportunity to do something for his father and not abandon him. So Nathan hears the news and hugs him. And Nathan's like, oh, this is one of the.

I've never heard. He's been on the boat for what, 24 hours, but I respect it. It really puts into perspective that nothing's more important than your family. Oh, really? Yeah, I know. That was like, that's rich. Well, we saw how that turned out. Yeah, nothing, like, once he said, once I've had my son, you realize that nothing is

more than your family. Like, you would literally a heartbeat away from murdering your family. So let's not talk about that, okay? Let's not, let's not get. Everything. anybody else's problem well now that I've had a son now that I'm a father

oh my god it's been five minutes and you fucked it up within 10 so yeah please shut out and also by the way people understand familial bonds even without having a son or a child so there's that too yeah so everyone feels bad for him

what's that? It's outrageous that he said that he's not wrong obviously but like don't get all high and mighty about everything. The most important thing is your family. I'm like, do you want to read the details of your case? And if the most important thing is your family, then why did you not show up a course at court and face what, you know, the consequences of your... The consequences of your actions. Now you're a fugitive, so you're all but ensuring that you're going to go to jail at some point, which means that you're not going to be there for your family. So, like, we don't want to hear

it from you with Nathan. Yeah, he gave an interview to Rolling Stone where he's like, I've made mistakes and I'll apologize for whatever I've done, but there's... more truth to come out about this that people don't know. Oh, oh, really. So yeah, he's, I don't think he's going to be taking any kind of responsibility anytime soon. So then we go to two and a half hours before charter 918 AM. So now it's time to call somebody. Asia asks, who are you going to get on the phone for recruitment? How dare you? Her name is Norma. And can we get some fucking respect? I was doing that interview on the on the cruise line with Hannah and Daisy.

And one of the questions was, is Norma real? And they said no. And I was like, excuse me, she's real. How do I have to be? How dare you both? Put some respect on Norma saying, I said, she is real. And they thought I was kidding. I said, you guys, Norma is actually a real person.

We're not making fun of the real person. Like the means that we say is not to do with Norman. Norma's like a really sweet, hardworking person as far as we can tell. but Norm was real. She was at Sandy's wedding. She has her own Instagram. We follow it. Okay. Yeah. Justice for Norma. Geez. Right. Okay. So here's my plan, everyone. Okay. We're going to go through the first day and then the next day I'm going to try to get off the dock. Because it's going to rain. It's going to rain. And it's like, how's there going to be another dog? Hold on. He's like, well, I, okay. Well, I need, yes, but I need Asia to be on the inside this time. Okay. But I got a plan. I got a plan. I got a plan. I've decided I'm going to take our entire boat to Tunisia. We're going to follow Max.

Everyone's going to carry the yacht through the sand. We're going to cross over to Libya. I don't know how it's going to happen, but I think with the power of prayer and determination, we can do it. I've outrun pirates before. I sure as hell can outrun a cartel, even on land. I outran pirates in Iraq on a boat. Saddam was chasing me.

Do it again. Don't you worry. Well, I'd love that. You know, it's a good thing we'll be on the talk, maybe. So then Sandy texts Norma much, and she's like, you won't believe this, but we need a deckhand again. Bloop. Bloop. Well, that's crazy, Sandy.

I actually do 100% believe it because you're totally incompetent as a leader of a boat. Bloop. Bloop. Wow. You know, it's funny how I'm always asking you for another hand when not one has ever offered you their own in marriage. Who needs to get married when you can have six hot guys to hook up with all week long in Dubrovnik? Am I right? You wouldn't know anything about it. Bloop.

Oh, you're so pretended to have a parade of men in Dubrov, huh? Oh, come on. Here you kidding, norms. Bloop. Oh, I'm not pretending. I got railed by three of them this morning and I loved it. Bloop. Remember when you told me that you were dating Robert Redford and I had to send you that article reminding you that he died? Bloop.

Wow, you know how, you know how Robert Redford named that movie The Horse Whisperer? It's because he saw me talking to you on the phone. Bloop. If Robert Redford were alive, he'd have a new festival called Sun. Please don't dance with me, Norma. Bloop. Well, guess what? Robert, Robert, Robert, Robert, you know, the first time he met you, he was like, off.

Finally, it's Butch Cassidy and the son lame yacht. Loop. Get back to Dayton, Norma. Geez. Loop. Love you, bitch. Love you, bitch. So now we go to the crew mess and Nathan tells Joe that they're a man down again.

And he's like, Max is leaving his land to Tunisia. Now that I've got a son, I understand. There's a French government just closed down all his dad's bank accounts and he's stuck there with no money. But at least we're on the fucking dock until tomorrow and at least I've got a son and family that I'd do anything for. Wait, what a fucking strange sentiment to add to the end of that paragraph? It's like, oh God, he's flying to Tunisia.

Has dad is stuck there? There's a cartel after them. They both may lose their lives, if not a few limbs. But luckily, we're stuck at the dock, which means even though we're on, we're a down a man, we'll still be able to have a successful charter. I was like, oh, good. Thank God. Thank God there won't be any issues with the slide

while Max and his dad are tied up to a chair in a cartel basement. Yeah. And Joe, of course, is going to make this hell for it. Of course. It's like, well, for fuck's sake, we've got someone down and your manual labor. Now you're down.

I don't have you either. What are we going to do? This is really tough for a leader like me in this position now that you're unable to provide anything as well. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now, Joe can try to play with me mentally, but it's not going to phase me. Really? Because your head has almost popped off like four times already this season.

Literally phased. But Joe is an undermineer. He's like, well, this can be an interesting charter. Now that you're in a wheelchair for the rest of your life, it's just the two of us having to do all the manual labor. Just me and Cooper, the only living people left. He's like, wait a second, I'm not in a wheelchair. Oh, that's just a drug speaking.

Those aren't even your legs anymore. Just two big wheels attached to your sternum. Don't worry, old man. We've got a little piano for you to start learning to play with your left foot. Don't worry. It's like, wait a minute. I'm still here. I can still work, all right?

God, he's really an asshole. But God, I wish Max was staying. I was 100% going to make him a lead deckhand. No, you weren't because you were going to be blocked, you idiot. And I'm so mad at Max's father for fucking up this storyline. I know. I'm mad at Max's father for many different reasons. First of all, this whole scenario is ridiculous, and you shouldn't have gotten your son into it.

Second of all, you shouldn't have ignored your son at 17 because, A, it's not a nice thing to do, but now, B, we have to always hear about how he was abandoned that 17 one year before becoming a legal adult, I'd like to add. But still, you know, it's still fair. And third of all, because I don't know what you did with Max, but he's a disaster. So I'm also mad at you for that. Yeah. I do blame the parents in that situation. I blame the parents all the time. Even my own, I mean, I blame my own parents for everything.

Why shouldn't I blame yours? Yeah, yeah, 100%. It's my right. I blame the cartels parents, too, by the way. Guess who my parents blame for stuff? Their parents. It's called a circle of life. That's how we roll people.

So Coup over here is Nathan, and he's like, oh, my God, you can't make this shit. Oh, yeah. And then we go to the main salon and we have a meeting because we're not going to meet today. We're not going to leave the dock today. So I need you to step it up, girls. You're going to be amazing. Okay, we're going to be at the docks, so we need to go ham.

That's hard as a motherfucker. Yes, nothing says going ham. Like, would you like another beverage? Hashtag ham? And Kaylee suggests that they do a cooking class for guests because that's like a cute activity. I want you to cook for me. I'm paying you $100,000.

Do not make me cook my own dinner. No. Well, I like the idea of learning how to roll out pasta because I've never done it before. So I was sort of like, oh, wow, look at this crew going, ham on us with this pasta class. Yeah, I was supposed to go to a pasta class in Italy, and you know, you know how I am, even with Pacific and Texas time, Pacific and Central time.

I'm always coming either two hours later, two hours early to meeting. Like, I'm classically terrible with that stuff. So you can imagine in Italy how that went, how that went for me. So I didn't show up for the cooking class. And they were like, well, hold it for you. And I was like, actually, I'm just going to eat some pasta. Like, it's just easier. I thought of you.

Yeah, I thought about it. And I was like, I'd really rather not go cook today. I cook all the time. I want to eat the pasta. Anyway, that wasn't the most exciting story. But it happened. So Aisha's like, well, we can do a porn star martini class, and tonight we can do a fishing show. I love the porn star martini class because just jumping ahead, it's kind of like,

All right, everyone, welcome to the Pornstore Martini class. What you do is you take some vodka and you take some passion fruit juice. You mix it together and there's your martini. I was like, wow, that was a great 90 second class. I mean, what else is there? Just have movie day, like in school, you know, back in the day when we were young. And they just rolled in that TV, you know, that big old tube TV on the rollers. I'd be like, I love it.

And they'd put on some shit. shitty movie for us all to watch that they didn't have to teach us. I loved when it rained during this. He got to stay in and draw. Commercials. Here comes one right now. Yeah. So, there's

this pile of trash on the side of the boat. And Joe's just standing around. So Sandy's like, hey, Joe, can you take this trash to the deck? And Joe's like, well, I'll have to run it through Nathan. Because if he wants me to step off board, I had to see. She's like, what? No, because I'm not the

She's like, stop. I love that Sandy recognize exactly what was happening. She was, stop. Make decisions. Go. You're the lead deck end. You can take the trash out. Because this is what I was talking about, I think, last week, which is that now Joe, who has been in his mind demoted, but to the rest of us, put back in the position that he was hired in is now suddenly like, oh, I don't know what to do. Oh, wow. Well, I can't do that. I have to ask Nathan if it's so. It's like, dude, just do your job. Because Nathan's a bad leader. And it's so clear what he's trying to do. Like, oh, Nathan can't even lead. He told me not to leave the deck, so I'm not going to leave the deck. I don't know. He's such a bad leader.

The whole boat's going to fall apart. Who wants to hire you to be Bosen when you won't even take out the trash without being told? I mean, Joe, you were handed this season on a silver platter. Nathan is being such a fucking monster. All you have to do, all you had to do is, All you had to do is clean the las. You're going to be getting gold medals for that, even from the audience for the next two seasons. Okay.

After being one of the shittiest people in this, in a long time on this show. Well, not in a long time because it's below deck. But after being a supremely shitty person, you're having a hero season. It's handed to you on a silver platter. And now you're going to be, you're going to handle it this badly. Oh, you idiot. Fumble. Get over yourself.

He, although he's probably going to be lead deck. He's going to be both in next season guaranteed now. Fuck. But like the thing is that he is, what we've seen in the past few seasons is that he is not someone who asks for permission. He does the thing and then apologizes afterwards. So the exception maybe of a few weeks ago, he told Kelly he was going to go say hi to some women. But he's like, this is a toss. But like him.

Well, that wasn't even permission. That was just trying to piss her off and get a reaction, right? So the fact, the idea that he is suddenly like, well, I don't want to do it without ask. I have to ask first. Like, Joe, that's never been the way he's operated. He's always just done the thing that he wants to do. So that's why I'm just calling to question the whole thing last week where he cleaned up the LAS.

And it's like, yeah, I think part of it is because Nathan wasn't there. And Nathan obviously does not motivate them. And he is not a good leader. And Joe probably did have some good ideas. Like, he was legitimately really good. But, like, as the initiative that he showed cleaning the LAS, was it because, like, Was that genuine drive or was he just holding back all this time to make Nathan look like a bad leader?

And it's hard for me to really generally say. Like, that's why I can't fully give him his flowers for cleaning the LAS because I kind of feel like he probably could have cleaned it all this time and then just chose not to. And then all of a sudden, when he has a moment, he does it to make himself shine. So I don't know. I think this guy's a total snake. Yeah, he is. And I'm kind of loving it because they both suck so bad right now, Nathan and him. And Sandy is seeing right through it.

She's like, oh, my God, you just have being so petty. But that's later. So she's like, oh, my God, Nathan, come up here. Let me talk to you. Okay, look, Joe, tell Joe he's the lead deckhand, okay? If he sees something that needs to be done, just do it. He doesn't need your permission. He doesn't need to check on you.

It's trash. Don't just take out the trash. Make it clear. I'm starting to get annoyed now. Okay? I'm starting to get annoyed now. Yeah. So Nathan's like, I feel like Joel's purposely not take an initiative

of so that he can make me look bad. And it's not me macro managing. It's me actually covering my own ass. It's a sort of thing that you learn once you have a boy. So then in the galley, Joy is showing a menu and everything. And then Aisha proposes that they do a cooking class. And Joy says, nothing is Kelly.

She did Wanderfell job, but it feels really good that Aisha is coming back. She's like a care bear shooting compulsive energy out of her belly. Last chart song was horrific, and I look like an idiot, and I know I'm a great chef, but also I'm a woman that looks for validation. That's why I'm here, you know? It's more like that's why you're still texting with Luke. Let's be honest. Oh, God, just, that's the only thing I don't like about Joy. The texting, the quality.

It's not the best quality. Love everything else about her, though. I like her saying, oh, it's so odd because Asia is so positive. And then it cuss to Asia, like, you're doing great. Do you want to bump off the job? China's together in solidarity. Ooh, you're killing it! I didn't think Joy was gonna respond well to

Kerr-bear Rainbow vibes. I thought she'd be like, ugh, disgusting, so American, even though she's not even American. So then Max- Yeah, but she's like that with Luke too, because that's what Luke is giving her too, you know, other than the, you know, he did the douchebag thing that was disrespectful in the beginning,

but she's responding very well to the constant, like, Do you need anything? Is there anything I can get for you? I'm just here for you. I did all your dishes. I organized your entire pantry that night. No. Rain loves rainposts. No. Can't have a rainbow without the rain. Although I don't think that's true, is it? To quote, to quote a great thinker, if you're praying for the rain, you've got to deal with the mud. And that thinker, his name is sincere. from Love Island. Oh God. I watched the reunion. The great apologizer. Yeah. I made it about an hour in 15 minutes and was like, is this 10 hours long?

How long have I been watching this fucking thing? And then I pressed pause on it. It's like another hour to go. It's a full two hour. Well, I haven't seen the full two hours, but it's the solid hour and 15 minutes I watch was sincere going. Yeah. And I apologize.

I apologize to everybody. But yeah, I apologize to everybody. Like I apologize to. them. I apologize for the people. Like, some people brought a food for this and I just want to apologize to them because like I should have respected you more. But like, I'm sorry. I wouldn't said it in that way, but I did and I wish I could have taken that back and I really understand. I'm sorry, I got put my hand up. And, uh, you know, when you say these things, it's like when you go to get a hot dog and you want to put mustard on it, but you also

want to put on ketchup being like, why can't you put both things on? But like, sometimes you can only put on the ketchup and now I see that. So thank you and I apologize. You're like, okay, thanks sincere. And Melanie, Melanie, was Melanie and Ceda were both really pissing me off on that reunion too, especially Cada. I always liked Cada, but she was really being a brat. I did not like her. Anyway, for another time, another time, another place.

So Max, Mac is somehow still here. So he emerges, he says goodbye to everyone, and he leaves to go on his 80s action movie. And he's like, I'm a beautiful yacht in Croatia, but tomorrow I'm going to be in the fucking desert in the random country. And I have to do this for my father. I have to do this for me. I believe that I have good karma. And yes, let's test my karma.

So let's plan to take my father and cross the border on the desert in Libya. And I believe they were showing like an infographic on how this is all working. I'm just like, this is a terrible idea. Listen, I think Max is having a good season. He really is coming off as a sweetheart. He's always been a sweetheart actually on the show. Annoying, but he's always been sweet. He hasn't been a mean person on the show.

But saying like, I have good karma. Max, your dad just, your dad is being chased by the mob and the banks and the law. And you are being dragged to Libya and Tunisia. I don't know that I would consider that the best karma. But I do approve of your positive attitude. We do appreciate it. I appreciate you trying because I think I would definitely be like, God, dad, I loved you. Bye. But I wouldn't extract my father from the country.

Daddy, I'm coming, Daddy. I'm going. Oh, God. So, I'm just wondering what, like, wacky local guide he'll wind up with. It'll be like, I feel like I have this were a movie that probably sticking with like Elizabeth Moss. She's like, all right, all right, Ranger, get in the Jeep. I'm going to teach you how to get there. Like, she'll be like the sassy lady that, like, she works. Elizabeth Moss. Isn't she from the hamletesdale? I was gonna say, Elizabeth Moss would be like,

Your father, he was taken by the mom. She's always like the most traumatized character on all the planet. In every single thing she does her, and Elizabeth Moss sitcom, she's just trauma. She's like, I had your baby. You're like, what? So, yeah, no, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry.

I meant to say Elizabeth Banks, because in my mind, I can see Elizabeth Banks, like, working at, like, a local... Elizabeth Banks, yeah. She works, like, a local coffee shop at Tunisia. She's, like, an American expat, but she, like, knows the way things work. Like, she can, like, scare off a local... A local who's, like, a little rough with her. She can, like, throw a knife down on the bar.

She's like, now, get out of here. She, like, know's the way things are. She's like, okay, kid, get in the Jeep. I'll take it to Libya. You know, and she gets drawn into this mess. Yeah. Yeah, she's a good one. Soap work, I think, in any movie, Elizabeth Moss.

I'm actually already very invested in the movie. Now that Elizabeth Banks, now that Elizabeth Banks has been invested, what if Elizabeth Moss can be in the cartel? It's that way if she can still be in the next. She's the only cartel leader. You're like, why are you crying? I'm going to kill you right now if you don't give us your money. What are you crying about?

You're about to chop off my finger. Yeah, I think it's great movie. I've watched a lot of Elizabeth. By the way, I watch everything that Elizabeth Moss comes out in. Like pretty much everything. That's how I know. Like a cheese. There is a woman who will go sob every day at work.

And she produces most of the stuff she's in. Like, she goes out and creates all of this stuff. I'm like, do you produce anything where you're not sobbing? Man. She's great. And by the way, I think we all know that the head of the cartel, his girlfriend is played by Elizabeth Berkeley. I think we get all the Elizabeths

in this movie. Elizabeth McGovern's like, oh, geez. Elizabeth Montgomery. Another Elizabeth party I'm not invited to. She's still in her down the Abbey outfit, though. She's like, Max, how can I get you to stay? Okay, so they're talking about

how they're going to turn over the boat. you know, because Max is out of there and blah, blah, blah. And Coop and Cout are the only two in the crew mess, and Cat grabs this butt. He's like, were you touching my butt? Now that you guys, producers, that is, know that about this. It's a good bit of relief because I'm not the best secrets. The worst secret I ever told, I found out at a pretty early age that Santa wasn't real. And I might have been the one to share that with the whole of first grade,

probably ruined some kids' lives. By first grade, do you mean like last year? I do not believe that he was the first one who knew that Santa wasn't real. There's no fucking way. When did you find out about the reindeer? Like, I don't believe you. I also don't believe, like, you're not the best of secrets, but this is the best example you have of that is like talking about Santa Claus. You know, there's been like 20 years since then for you.

Do you have some of the juice your secrets, please? It's too fresh. It's too fresh to be. real that that's the first grade who all learned about Santa Claus I told all of my friends I've been bound with secrets all this time um but also you're the one making the secret not cat to be like oh it's so crazy I have to keep a seat you're the one asking for it to be a secret so I don't know I just I'm offended by the whole keep me keep it is secret never trust them so Joe and Pooke's cabin every you know they get provisions which

By the way, we don't get a ton of provision scenes in this one, huh? I know. I was thinking about that. I missed the provisions. Yeah, it's a big part of this show is people carrying in the groceries. Yeah, I used to hate watching it because I would imagine myself being in that chain of people and it being like hot and humid and having to carry like, you know, 18 packs of these like bottles and stuff. And like there's something like I find it extraordinarily annoying carrying like a big, wide rectangle of like bottles or things, you know, it's sort of like, oh, God, yeah.

And I don't know why it doesn't hold, like, you want to hold it by the plastic, but you know the plastic's going to break and you hold it from beneath. And it just, it's heavier than you want it to be, but it feels like it, like you, I don't know, it's just, I hate it. You know, the way, you can see the way those crates dig into their palms. But I also agree that we need to see it. It's part of the- Well, it's, it's, it's how you judge a person's character, like how they carry in groceries. I think that's why I'm always going to be single. My, I have a miserable character like it's time to bring in the groceries and i was like i wouldn't take the last even when even being alone i look at my dog like get some opposable thumbs you fucking lazy asshole and i think

it's a good way to judge character on this show like whoever's really helpful you know i usually think well that there's a person that's good to have around and then but you know it's those provisions always arrive when it's hot and humid and it's like the last thing you want to do it's the morning and you're just like, I just want to go on break and I have to carry in groceries for 30 minutes. Ugh, I hate it. I know, which is why you and I could never be married or have a relationship like that in real life because we're both that person.

Yeah, but I need it on this show because that's how you tell what kind of people, people are. You need to watch when it's time to bring in the groceries or when they're driving. You know, I've always said you need to have a secret camera in somebody's car to see how they are in traffic because that's when you really see some. Like someone can be the nicest, sweetest person, and then the second they're alone in the car, you see them on the freeway, you can see them in their cars being like, you see the sea word flying out of their mouth. I have to say, I don't like bringing in groceries, but if the groceries are in like an oversized canvas bag, it's a whole different story. Because then you're not bringing groceries. Then you're sharing what you found at the market.

Then I'm like, I have it over my shoulder. I'm like, look what I found. I got some hero bread, I got some oat milk, I got some carrots. Suddenly it's like show and tell. Like when it's dangling off my shoulder in a big poofy bag, suddenly I'm like, guys, guys gather around. But if I have to carry in like a crate with stuff from Costco, I'm like, oh, the worst.

Yeah, it's different when it's like the farmer's market. You're like, oh, I just came back from the... These carrots still have a little bit of poo on them from being naturally grown. But even if it's from the supermarket, and I have a bag that I would normally take the farmer's market. I treat everything like I got it from a farmer's market. I'm like, oh, check this out.

I got some Q-tips. These are artisanal. Yes, you can put those right there. You know, I treat everything, like, very dainty when it comes out of the tote. So let's see here. Joe's like, please, have my back, man. What does that mean? You and Nathan are both saying that, have my back.

What does it mean? Clean the fucking boat. That's all you have. No one needs to have your. back. Grab a fucking mop. Why are we acting like you're in diehard? No one needs to have your back. Seriously. Or as Cato would say on the Love Island reunion or anywhere else in her life. Literally. Literally. Have my back, man. Literally.

And then Melody was saying. I'm sorry, the best person on that show this season. And even through the entire reunion. I felt validated. It's Kenzie. I mean, what's her name? Kenzie. Kenzie. The dead eyes.

Gorebin. Yeah. She's so funny to me. That whole, okay, we're not going to talk about love. We'll talk about Love Island later on the bonus. Okay, so Cooper is like, well, I will have your back and I do have it, but I'm also going tell you when you need to straighten the fuck up, you feel me? Where is, who, who are you?

What does that come from? Tough talking Cooper. Just going to give it to you like it is. Since when Mr. can't handle flirting with someone on a boat without making it a big secret, please. He's like, you know, I really feel like, no, and I just kind of thought that Nathan was going to come back on board and just put his dick right on the table. Well, that's, you thought that because Joe just kept on telling you that over and over and over again and got into your head. And it just hasn't been the guys.

He just like, really. wanted to know what we improved and you know or like without him there what we worked on and you know jo's looking for a reason to get pissed off and it just has nathan hasn't given it to him yet so this is like team edward versus team jacob but i just feel like bella in book three you know i'm neutral i'm like team edward versus team jacob i think it's more like the movies boring as fuck and yes i've seen every single twilight movie i can say that with authority I have not seen any of the Twilight movies, and I didn't read any of the books. Can you believe that?

That's weird, right? Don't I seem like the type who would read them all? The Twilight movies were so bad, like, across the board bad. Like, the storyline is languid. It just plods along. To me, there was no chemistry on screen. And on top of that, she goes, like, if anything, she should have gone with the wolf guy, and she went with the vampire guy.

But like, yeah, just a dull series of bad movies. Yeah, really bad. Yeah, I was more of the True Blood kind of a guy. I read all the True Blood books and I was like, yeah, I'm not watching this rip off of True Blood. Sorry. I don't know which came first. I'm assuming True Blood did. But I love that one.

So, yeah, I was, that's why I didn't see any of them. Anyway, no one asked. Deck, Nathan talks to Joe. Nathan's like, so if you see something it needs doing, just. take initiative. But you said everyone had to go through you. So I was like, I don't want to leave this until it, you know, I just want to go through you. He's like, oh, come on, man, you're not green. He's like, but there's also a level of trueness to what I'm saying. There is. Nathan did act like an asshole. And he did tell you to stop trying to undermine him and blah, blah, blah,

and just do exactly what he said. But you are still an adult man working on a boat. You should know want to take out trash. You're both idiots. Take out the trash. And so Nathan's like this. So they're basically like, okay, we don't, like Joe says, well, we can have this conversation. So what else? And then he's like, hey, hey, you two.

You got to stop being so petty. Okay. Joe, stop pouting. You did a great job, but snap back. Come on. We got three chitters left. Make them great. And if you don't like something that he's not doing, just talk.

Okay? It's like me. Whenever I see Norma's new haircut, I'm like, Nope, missed again. Back to the drawing board. You know, it's been 10 years of that, but you just talk. You talk it out. Yeah. You know what? You used to be really great friends. Remember that? There's something. It's just something weird here. Just get it together. Be proactive, guys. Be proactive. So now the guests are coming, and Joe is embarrassed that he just got it talking to. And Nathan's like, it's not going to work well for the dynamic. If we can't get along, we need to get past it. So now the guests come and someone's like, oh yeah, we're the best fucking personal injury lawyers in Orlando. And you just know they're going to be terrible.

Listen, I've seen all of your billboards. Have I seen them in Orlando? Not necessarily. But I have seen them all over every town I've ever been to. And the personal injury lawyers, I don't want you on my boat. I don't want you in my restaurant. I don't want you in my vicinity. You all seem fucking terrible.

I guess it is a good thing that the police showed up next week because the lawyers are probably very happy about that. They're like, oh, yes, great charter. You brought the police to us for once. Have you noticed in Los Angeles specifically that there are so many personal injury lawyers with cartoon billboards? Like, they're all cartoons in the billboard. Why is that? It's like, Jeff, personal injury lawyer, but I'm a cartoon. I'm a cartoon bald guy, not just a regular bald guy.

There's so many billboards I don't understand. There's the Accidentes guy. There's Veronica's insurance. Veronica's insurance. Doesn't Veronica look just like Adriana from Real Housewives of Miami? Yeah, she looks like a lot of the cast members of that show, as well as some of the new cast members of Real Housewives of New York, I'd like to add. But Veronica's insurance, those billboards are everywhere. It's just it's a wild,

world of madness out there. Like, you don't understand people. The billboards in Los Angeles are bonkers. Sweet James. Hey, everyone.

This is the end of part one of this recap. For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch on the second half. Watch what crappins would like to thank

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