Watch What Crappens - #3525 RHOC S20E09 Part One: As a Trash Thinketh

Episode Date: September 4, 2026

This is part one of a 2-part recapThe Real Housewives of Orange County focus on spirituality at a Jenn party, where Heather has to confess that she called Carmella trash. Sorry! OK back to breath work. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to What What Crappens, a podcast. For all the crap, we'd love to talk about on ye old braves. I'm Ronnie. That's a gorgeous, talented Ben Mantelker. Hello. Hello. How are you? Good.

If you're not watching this, you missed a very fun gay wave. Hello. Very Heather people, pretty much. Hello. Yeah. I had a very gay morning in where, wherein I went and I got some Alfred coffee, which feels already gay.

I was on Melrose Avenue, basically. That's what I'm trying to say is, already today I've been on Melrose Avenue amongst influencers getting coffee. So that just made me feel gay. Complementary in a good way. Yeah, good gay. Welcome to the show, everybody.

We are going on tour. We're announcing, we've already announced where we're going and stuff, but we're selling tickets next week, starting towards the end of next week. So check that out. Then come see our show. We start October 3rd and we go through March. So we're coming to a lot of places.

Also, if you want this on video, you get that at Patreon along with ad-free listening, bonus episodes. This week we talked about Ladies of London and the Love Island reunion. Also, Ben has a new show called What's Your Order on YouTube. explicitly on YouTube. So you have to, not explicitly. I'm naked. I'm naked on the show. It's that explicit.

Blends being really gay on YouTube, touching himself all over the place. Dad bod, naked, dad, naked, and you'll be afraid. I, the latest episode, Julia Cunningham from the Julia Cunningham show on Radio. Andy joined, and we ranked top five Summer House cast members. Ronnie, who do you think would be in your top five off the top of your head? Who's your number one, you think?

Lindsay. Yeah. Yeah. No question. I love that. Lindsay, Kyle, I mean, the classics. Lindsay, Kyle. I think that's it, right? Well, obviously, Sierra. That's all there is. God, who else has been good? They've had so many good ones over there. See, that's why I can't do that show. because I just sit here going,

um, um, the, which I guess I edit it. But, well, um, if you want to hear, I'm not going to say what my picks are,

but I will say that Lindsay and Kyle are in my top five, because of course. Well, I would hope so. Jeez. So the question is who comes in number one. You'll just have to watch. That's one secret.

I'll never tell. So go check that. It's on, it's on, it's on crappins YouTube. It's on Crappin's YouTube. We just want subscribers, basically. We're just trying to grow that channel.

Well, you're earning them, that's for sure. Well, I hope so. But literally just hit subscribe. I don't think it's going to affect your life in any way. You just hit subscribe. Well, you'll be subscribed. The funny thing. No, I know.

But sometimes when we ask, you know, it's like, oh, come buy tickets, do Patreon. Like, there's a little bit of a lift. But with YouTube, literally what I do is press subscribe, and it's like, fine. And then your life goes on. But for us, it's actually very impactful. So that's it. Yeah, so do that. And happy Friday, everybody.

It's my last Topo Chico of the week here at my death. Oh, my God. Trying to open it, just splattered it all over my damn self, as I do. But today is Real Housewives of Orange County Day. Well, actually. I think there's a shadow on my head because my lighting isn't very good in here and you're so bright. So I turned on this thing on the computer called Studio Light, but I can't adjust it. So now I've got like a little shadow.

So it looks like there you go. I'm a shadow. I like it. You know what? You said today is Real House is of Orange County Day. And I think that before, I think even higher than that, today is Beyonce's birthday. So let's like not forget who is really ruling the roost around here, right? Anyone?

You know what? If you like to do you should put it to bring out of it, okay? Vicki's singing it. Like, like you should have put it. you got it. Where's my ring? Where's my ring? Give me back my ring. He's not dangling it over my head. I've never even seen it. That was hilarious.

Like she takes it literally. My neighbor. I mean, actually today's episode is very much Beyonce-esque. I mean, it is about putting a ring on it. It is about birthdays. It is about putting her love on top. And it's about... Paying his telephone bills. Paying as

automobiles. You're at Bagah Day! You better be a bitch. It's about independent women. Yeah, so happy birthday, B, and happy decent episode day of Real Housewives of Orange County. Yeah. This has been a sloggy season, but this episode was pretty hilarious. All I really need is for them to be shoved into spiritual awakening seminars with each other.

That shit was hilarious. I felt like this was actually the first episode of the season that felt right. I actually thought this was a very entertaining episode. I really, really liked it. I hope this is a signal to what the rest of the season will be. Probably won't be. But I felt like all the issues felt a little bit more grounded and stuff. It's not that, like, I sit here and care about it.

I'm not, like, wondering, oh, my God, what's going on with Vicki's Ring? But it felt like there were, like, it felt like there were more stakes than just the typical Emily and Gina concoctions. Like, she put a d'yelgo in the bag. It's like, oh, God. It felt like you can see them trying to make something. Whereas here, it's like, hey, like, you're being nice this person, but we know you called her trash. You have to say something. It's like genuine like, uh-oh, what's going to happen?

How is this interaction going to be? So I thought it was a really good episode. It was pretty funny. I got it. And then Heather started some mess too, which I really liked because everybody else is doing it. So she's like, well, she got into it too. So it was pretty fun. The whole, I'm sorry I called you trash.

that was classic that was so fun it was a it was kind of a classic everybody episode well not everybody but it was a classic heather it was a classic shannon it was a classic um vicky i mean vicky just being with the wrong man and seeing kind of behind the scenes of that obviously shitty relationship or shitty facing relationship um it's just so classic vicky too you know trying to tell everybody she's in a good relationship and classic tamera in a way coming through and being like, is this got the right guy and things that's my opinion. Also, so

this is pretty, it's pretty good. Like, everybody's singing their hits today. Yeah, exactly. Also, Ronnie and I did meet Heather DeBrow last week, a week ago, and she was very nice, and she was very small. That was the thing about, I mean, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

She was like, hello! We were at Crystal, we were at a party at Crystal's house, and Heather was there and Terry was walking around with his leather jacket and everything and we're like we gotta say hello

like Heather DeBrow we gotta we have to like we have to interact with Heather at some point so we didn't say that we were from Watch for Crappins but we just said hello nice to meet you

and I told her because that last Friday for those who may remember in the last episode Emily was coming at Heather about just more bullshit about like I don't even remember

what I don't even remember remember what the bullshit was. It was so inconsequential, but it was more like, you act like this, then you say this, you act like, it was just, and I, and so Twitter was actually trending of people being on Heather's side, and I told Heather, she's like, I did not know that, but I'm glad to hear it. Now, could you please wash my car? Thank you, Alfredo. All right, here we go. Real Housewives of Orange County, Season 20, Episode 9, Ring of Truth. with the Driftwood Kitchen. Is every restaurant there on the water?

That whole town looks like it's about to sink. It's a one of the restaurants, the one that Tamara went to, look like the waves were coming right up to the window. I know. That's beautiful over there. I thought Driftwood Kitchen, I thought that was just Gina's house.

No? Oh, we're not talking about personality. We're talking about kitchen. Scrap metal kitchen. Scrap metal kitchen. I apologize. Gina, Tamara. I know everything's in the water.

Yeah, so pretty. And Gina's like, oh, you guys are going to meet me and Shannon's all right. Because it's her birthday. It's an imprompto because she said she's lonely. That made me so sad. You want to see my sad face? I feel being. You're lonely.

I feel bad that she's like alone. So Tamara is like, I don't know. 60, which I think she actually did this week. She goes, you know, when we had dinner, how we were talking about, no sex driving all that, right? Like, well, it just got me thinking that I went to the doctor and I got blood work done. And the blood said, I'm hot. I'm A, B, hot positives.

They tried to do blood work, but nothing came into the syringe. They tapped my head, and they took my heartbeat, nothing really happened. Then I tried to look in the mirror and there was no reflection. What the fuck? Am I just getting old? No, you're a fucking vampire. My LDL is 60 and my HDL is hot as fuck. I think that's good.

You're hot, bitch. I'm a hot bitch. Tonsad, baptize, and how they pass. Buh. I'm a bad bitch, baby. We see a flashback to the doctor and the doctor is like, You have not moved the needle on your estrogen, nor have you with your testosterone. You basically have no fluids.

You have no fluid. You have nothing in you. She needs to go to Valvaline. So Emily is like, I had my blood work done too, and I had no testosterone. That's why I had to get pellets inserted in my butt. And no, my pellets, I don't mean surely on his birthday. And my pellets, I don't mean tuna sandwiches. turkey sandwiches that is tacos, everything.

So they're talking about getting older and how you have to start doing stuff and you get older because you don't feel nothing in place. And so Tamara's going to go get juiced up. And then, of course, this is all a roundabout way to start talking about heather. See what's out of hither? Gina's like, oh, whatever, drinking songria.

Please. And then cut to the sunglass, the sunglass factory, I mean gallery. And Jan and Heather and Carmela are shopping for sunglasses. And Heather's like, oh, by the way, congratulations, Carmela, on your daughter. She's going to Galp Holly. That's so exciting that she's exploring non-traditional relationships. Did I lose you? I was waiting for my- Alfredo. Okay, Roddy's not here. Alfredo, will you laugh at my joke? Thank you. Thank you. Cal Polly. His headphones fell out, so we didn't hear the very good joke I made.

But that's okay. I'm sure Drake heard it somewhere, as he too was probably celebrating. I'm so sorry, my head fawnies fell out. My head faunies broke, so. Is that not how you say it? That faunies. Anyway, Carmelah, what's new with you?

you she goes well my daughter's about to go to college she got an offer from cal poly oh is that where trashy people go well i mean i'm just like so sad i'm like bawling of my daughter i'm so proud of her like she's growing up and i was so sad because like when i left the house my dad was really upset but then i never came back and so i really upset well at least huffner's dead we know she's not going to be going over there yeah i uh the very unique story of someone leaving home as they grow up. So Heather, she's like, guys, here's my tragic backstory. When I turned 18, I went to college,

and I never quite lived at home in the same way as I did when I was four years old. Yeah, it's so bizarre. The transition is bizarre. One minute, they're not in college, and the next minute they're in college. It's crazy. Your relationship does change, but not in a bad way. It's just more expensive now because you're getting them giant penthouses on the ocean instead of just their own bedroom. I never was more proud than when little Nikki got himself his old little Afraid Oet.

So Carmela is like, so what happened at the party? Jen's like, I didn't really see you much. Thank you very much. By the way, if you were ignoring me, thank you so much. Thank you. What were you doing, by the way? Carmela's like, well, I felt like a disqualification. agreement started with Emily, there was a big conversation.

Was there or not, Heather? Would you like to explain this a little bit more? Well, apparently a lot of things I do. Annoy Emily. Apparently. Apparently. Emily really is just trying in every episode to come for Heather for no reason. And then she's like, why is she so sensitive?

God! Oh, really? You're the lady who cried over jeans for months. He'll still probably cry over them. Like, jeans and a fashion show that Heather gave you. Please, with someone else's two sets out. I feel like Emily feels like it's her job to poke holes in everyone's fake veneer. And it's like, don't you realize that people were cast on this show for their fake veneers?

You're not the people's princess here. You don't need you to do this work. Yeah, we don't want everybody to be. Yeah, thanks. So they're, Jen's saying, well, you know, I was here, Heather's so sensitive if we have to tipto around Heather. Oh, yeah. And Heather's like, well, I'm totally fine. And I don't think anyone, by the way, tiptoes around me.

If you heard these people, I've never heard, it's like a herd of elephants coming through. How dare you? Figuratively. It's very important that people don't tiptoe around me. That's why I get all the Alfredo's little booties. They could put them right on their shoes, soft surfaces. You never hear a thing. And they don't have to be on their tiptoes.

I used to make Alfredo tiptoe around me, but I've cut off all his toes by now. Listen, is there an easier way to correct a mistake? Probably. Probably. Anyway, what were we talking about? I always say, listen. Drop some chips. Here, here's, to me, this is what tiptoeing means.

It means here's a tip. Clean the dishes or I take a toe. All right. Thank you. It's time for a commercial. It's time. for a crap and's commercial And back at the other lunch

Gina's like, she takes a little time to get all the things. Yeah, but she's always, well, you know, she's always making allowances for Heather. Like, that's the way Heather is. Give her more time. When do you draw the line? She's just so hypersensitive.

Oh my God, geez. Aren't you the one literally furious at Heather because she told you you haven't stopped talking during a little argument? I mean, that's all she said. Like, you don't, you haven't stopped talking.

Oh, dear, you know, they're telling me, she's trying to silence me. Gina, she takes a little time to get over things. I mean, both of you two carry grudges for months on these shows. So Emily is, yeah, Emily is saying that she's hypersensitive. And Heather is like, you know, people that, you know, people that give, you know, zero fucks. Well, I give many, many, many fox. And I can't help it. That's who I am.

Just Heather Dubrow giving fucks all the time. Fuck, give her, Heather Dubrow. And then back to Tamara, she's like, yeah, I'm just confused because, you know, Heather said things about Carmatter, too. Me, nice to be nice to Carmilla. Oh, for Christ's sake, this is crazy standing up for Heather this much. But since when is it a crime to tell one of your best friends that someone else's trashed behind their back? I mean, I don't even want to live in the world where I can't tell my best friends,

the other people are trashed and then be nice to those people's faces. They, especially Tamara, they all say the most vile things behind each other's backs. But the moment that, like, Heather says something, they lose their minds. Remember a few seasons ago at BravoCon, Heather allegedly called someone a loser or called a few of them a loser. She's like, I don't want to be with those losers or something like that. And I was like, what? We're losers. And now it's like, it's this whole thing. I mean, I'm sure, like, yeah, Heather.

I mean, she's not even, Heather does admit that she says it. But of course, Heather's like, I don't like her. She's trash. I mean, I think that was about Heather wanting to move to Beverly Hills, right? Because they said, they were saying something like, are you going to move to Beverly Hills? She's like, I wish. That's a real, that's a real successful show. And they're, how dare you?

Oh, wait, wait, why come sit, lose the same old. Sorry, we're not Beverly Hills. Sorry. Yeah, but they just, like, Tamara does. genuinely nasty things, like later this episode, I believe. And, but like Heather says one, you know, not so nice thing. I'm not saying what Heather said was nice, but they literally go nuts. But I think the reason why they go nuts is because Heather is wealthier and smarter than all the rest of them.

So every time Heather says that one of them is trash, I think they all feel like she's probably thinking about them too. And that's why they get into a tizzy. She is. Because she's right. And see, that's the thing. Like, Heather is an asshole. She is a snob.

You know, she's made me crazy for years with this stuff. But you can get her on something valid at some point. But they're just trying to come up with stuff, you know? Just do it when it's real. Heather will piss you off for real. You don't have to come up with this. Oh, nobody was. Heather crying all the time.

Every time you've confronted her this season, she's been like, okay, I hear you. How can I do better? Are you writing this down, Alth? By the way, I do want to say that when we saw Heather and Terry, it's at one point Crystal's husband was like singing in a band at this party, and people were just watching. And I was like, you know what? Heather and Terry do really stand like they did in that picture.

They just stand like that. That's just sort of like what they do, which was shocking to see. I was like, there was no paparazzi round that I could see. you mean the picture at Disneyland where they were Remember Disney where they were standing so So ridiculously like okay they're posing But it turns out they do kind of just stand like that Just at rest that's like their resting standing face

Which is kind of crazy to see She's like pointing at something that's not Rob singing She's like, whoa look over there His arms around her Meanwhile there's probably a photographer I didn't see I just thought it was funny Okay, so they're upset because she talks shit about Carmela And now she's acting like she likes Carmela

And she's like, oh yeah, Gina, now she's going to use Carmela To find a house for her daughter And Emily's like, I am so offended I'm so up and that's really weird That's really weird to do it makes me feel weird You know, honestly, I feel blinded at Because if the rules were reversed, Heather would literally pulverize me You don't live in San Diego.

You've never lived in San Diego. You don't know San Diego. You barely know California. You've been here for five minutes. Why would someone ask you to go find something in San Diego? That's where this lady works. Yeah. And also, like, did you ever express any interest in finding a place for Heather's

daughters or son or anything? Like, why did you ever say, hey, by the way, Heather, if your daughter ever wants to get a place in this area, just hit me up. Help you want out. Like, did you ever do that? But, like, also, Heather's looking for nice accommodations and, like, doesn't want her daughter to live

in a one-bedroom apartment in some sort of, like, four-story complex in Irvine. Okay, like, she's going to, like, we saw the house that Carmela was selling on TV, and we saw the house that you were selling on TV, and there's no shame. in either one, but we know which one Heather's going to gravitate towards. Yeah, Gina's like, okay, I found your kid the perfect place because they're retiring from high school.

So they're going to love it. Wait a minute. This is a retirement village. Exactly. Exactly. Congratulations. You're going to love it here. By the way, if you ever need help getting out of your chair, something like that, after TV, there's no change just called the front desk.

Someone to help you. Water aerobics. every morning. Beautiful view of the Tustin Auto Mall. There's not an outlet mall here, but there's a billboard directing you to an outlet mall here. There's this really cool architectural space that some are lobbying to be a UNESCO World Heritage Site, but in the meantime, it is currently a Spirit Halloween.

was formerly a blockbuster. And you can see that from the window. I'm Gina. I may be taken, but I'm not giving. Like her stupid opening line, whatever it is. Every time, she's like, I'm taken. Shut up. Okay.

So, yeah, Gina has found a way to get herself back. Yeah, so the producer asks when Heather first called Carmela Trash. And she's like, oh, well, she got turned up in Vegas. And she was saying this shit in front of everybody off camera. Are we surprised at fancy pants called Kamala tri? And she, I mean, I don't know. I'm sorry. I thought it was before they started shooting.

So I think this is more offensive that she did it in Vegas. Because wasn't that last week? I know, right. Yes. Let her talking about BravoCon. Because this was, I think, filmed after BravoCon. So it could have been Bravo One.

It could have been. I have to imagine. It sounded like she didn't know, she didn't know Carmela yet. And by Vegas, she was already working with Carmela. So I'm going to assume it was BravoCon Vegas, not. If that's the case, then they're being extra shady by suggesting that it was last week. You know? Yeah.

Because I thought when they first started talking about it, Emily said something like, well, when she first came to the group, I thought her trashy, and now she's trying to be her friend. but then Gina's saying Vegas, which makes it sound like it was last week or in the past couple of weeks, which would be super shitty. So Emily is like, they're also trying to get her, you know, they're trying, they're going to, they haven't dropped this stuff on Carmelli yet. They're planning on dropping it on her. But right now they're trying to get her upset with Vicky. And so Emily is like, well, what do you think about Vicky leaving your party? You're like, every time we get together, Victoria is the last one to show up and the first one to leave.

I mean, it's just so rude. you were sitting at this woman's house talking mad shit about her husband in front of her with your feet on the furniture. It's a little rude. Yeah, I mean, it is funny that Vicky is getting clocked for the same thing on two different shows, but also, like, why would Vicky want to

maximize her time with Emily and Gina? She's clearly not interested in the two of them. She clearly does not like Carmela. Heather clearly annoys her. She only wants to hang out with Tamara and Shannon, and then gets some screen time. So she is, she is,

I mean, Vicky should be showing up more and be putting more effort into it, but I kind of understand why she's like, yeah, I don't want to spend that much time with these ding-dongs. It's also two hours away this party.

How much time of my view get to take, you know, this episode's crazy. I'm standing up for Heather and then Vicki. Just line them up. Everything's crushing

in my brain today. So then we go back to the sunglasses, And Carmela is like, well, when it was brought up about Vicky leaving early, I don't know, I just look at things differently. Like, she has her right to leave early. People have stuff going on. Well, I don't disagree with you. But Carmela, you teach people how to treat you. Am I right?

Stop. Do not come closer. See? Carmela, roll over. See? So, you know, she's showing up and she's saying, Hey, I only have this amount of time for you. Well, now we know what box we're in.

So this is where Heather was like, okay, they're not the only ones that can start shit. Fine. I'll try and get Carmela against Vicky too. Let's go for it. So Emily says, you know, the reason, I'm where Emily's seen, you know, the reason that night at your party I called Vicki and Debbie Downer was because from when we first met her, it was just like, there was a lot of energy, but there's just not that energy anymore.

Yeah, you met her eight years ago. She's older now. She's been through more things. I think she's like Drayden. And also, I mean, like the wild thing is Emily of all people accusing someone of being a Debbie Downer while she's actively being one right now. Yeah, she's absolutely correct, by the way. Vicky sucks, and she's a Debbie Downer, and she's an energy kill, and I don't know why she's on two shows. But it's coming from Emily.

I mean, has Emily smiled one time this whole season? She's just showed up everywhere like, so it's just like consider the source, I guess, kind of thing. So now they're taught. She's like, well, what is it with Vicki? What's wrong with her? I mean, is it Mike? Is Mike controlling her? And he wants her to tone it down?

I mean, it's actually another good call. It's a good call, but I also don't. But it's also just such a leap, right? Like, oh, she seems like quite a... Maybe it's because her son moved to Spain. Maybe it's because her son and her daughter clearly have some beef. Maybe it's because there's something weird

going on with this entire relationship with Brianna and Ryan, and who knows what's going on there. Maybe it's because she ran into Don and realized, damn, I made some huge mistakes. Maybe it's because she realized that, like, she's at a certain point of her life, and it hasn't gone quite the way it has gone,

and she's reflecting about the fact that she changed her whole face because of what one stupid guy said, and she realized what's her power of that person. Like, there's a lot of reasons why she's probably feeling down, and quite frankly, it's probably all of the above, including Mike. But I don't know. I just think it's so, like, it just was such a typical Emily slash Gina thing to be like, wow, she seems down.

She must be in a terrible role. relationship she's not like emotionally processing correctly. I was like I'm like it's just well it's funny it's funny that I'm accusing her of making a leap when I literally just made 10 of them but the point is that like I feel like you can maybe surmise things but they are now going to take this as a maybe it's this and then they're going to turn it into fact and then they're going to run with it they may be right but that's coincidental yeah it's just a hypocritical thing coming from Emily but I think she's absolutely correct. Vicki sucks and her relationship seems to suck too.

So I don't know. So she's like, Sook her Tamara. And Tamara's like, yeah, I think it is Mike. Because, you know, he got mad because, you know, she was saying, like,

you know, take your pants off. Maybe that. Maybe she said that. And then we find out that he showed up this. And we see a flashback of Vicki saying, well, Mike could go to sleep and I'm just saying, take your pets off. And he's like, really?

And I guess she confessed it to Mike when he came to Vegas last second. And then he was like, you don't need to talk about our sex life on camera. So now she's like, but I would never say something like that. That's our relationship. It's very personal. I would never talk about that. I don't know why everybody say that I talk like that.

I absolutely don't. I'm a good person. I'm a good person. We don't even have a sex life. I mean, I don't know. We're not having sex until we're married. We're Christians. Stop asking me.

It is, it is weird that he was in Vegas the entire time and Vicki never told anyone. And I understand, Vicky, um, doesn't trust this group with with her man essentially in this not in this sense that like telling them things about her man she knows it will always come back and be weaponized against her um so i get that but like don't have to be that button double you just can't have a boyfriend who fakes having cancer just to get people to like him and then try to sell cancer and sure even though you know he's fucking lying and helped him doctor paperwork you can it's just crazy how judgmental friends can be

these days. I'm not telling them anything anymore. Sometimes you just want to scam in private. So Emily's like, yeah, it's like a 16-year-old sneaky her boyfriend in the house. And Tamara's like, yeah, I think how experienced

with Brooks was like, no way, this ain't happening again. So they're all just like weirded out by this whole thing. and we also like that we also see a flashback of how vicky's behavior changed because when at that one dinner she was like all talking about like taking the pants off and then later on she was very prudish about it yeah she's talking about the guys seeing the guy's peepee at the Grand Canyon yeah and um they're like wow why is she so why is she suddenly so you know chased so uh jean is like yeah and she's almost made comments like he has a ring and he was gonna propone but then he got like, I mean, I don't know, he got mad at me, and then he's not going to do it anymore, something like that, something. Yeah, and that last night, he came to our room,

he goes, said, she's got 90 days to not piss me off, and she makes it 70, and then I say, well, we got to start all over again. I mean, what did you do, and she can't even make it to 90 days? I mean, geez, I mean, I can't think of one thing. Maybe you see a 90-day fiancé. But that is crazy behavior. Like, you have to behave for 90 days, and I'll give you the ring. That is, he is a grumpy old man, for sure.

Well, it's either a terrible dangling carrot, or it's just like one of those, like, just, like, groan-worthy jokes. Because I can imagine someone making a joke like that. Be like, well, I mean, I like, she would act well for 90 days. I'll give her a ring. But until that, you know, I can imagine someone, like, I can imagine, like, a dad.

making that kind of a joke. I don't want to excuse him. But, like, I also know that anytime anyone makes any... The reason why I'm going to that place is because I know that anytime anyone makes any sort of, like, you know, tongue-and-cheek comment, Tamara takes it as literally as possible if she can use it against someone. So that's what always like, hmm, like, what was this?

I think this guy sucks because we see him later. He generally, he sucks. He genuinely sucks, and it's very viable that he said this earnestly. But I just always, you know, as Tamara herself said, consider the source. Consider the source. Yeah, consider the start. And now Tamara and Gina are going back and forth

trying to guess what Vicky could have done. Tamara was like, It's it because we'll work on that long, every single day? Yeah, is it because maybe she's stalking Dawn on his Facebook page? Because that's a little weird. Is it that she backed into its car? Maybe she took Mike off a life insurance policy? Like, I don't even know.

Back, what is she done? that's so bad that she can't get a ring. And Emily's like, I feel like where she's at financially, she should dictate the terms of the relationship. Emily is correct. And then Emily's, actually Emily has a great point here. That's so, I feel like that's so, like, old

school kind of misogyny to be like, the one who has the money gets to be the boss in the relationship, period. Well, meaning, like, if he is dictating it because of that sums, like for that sort of idea or whatever, then like, why not Vicki, too? Right? Why don't Vicky? Be like, no, I make money.

you don't get to boss me around. But you're right, it is actually pretty retrograde. So Emily says, I don't like when a men start dating someone and they know exactly who that person is, but then they want them to behave differently. And she is correct on this. Emily is spot on the money.

She goes, it just sounds juvenile. Kind of like, when you dangle something in front of someone, like act this certain way and you'll get the prize. It just sounds weird. Yeah. But do we think that when we date guys? because I think like a normal thing when you start dating a guy is like oh I like you but like here's a list of shit it's a classic people have been like that with me you know classic asshole guys like a classic

i never make it through the list yeah i think a classic thing that that like a narcissist guy or just a douchebag guy would do would be to base like they they they lure someone in who's like actually they're sort of like punching up and then what they do is and they sort of like make that person feel bad about themselves and then they sort of make them think they can't do any better than them and then they start trying to like adjust all the rules. I was like, no, you're the one who is so lucky to date out of your league in this situation. I mean, I'm not, I don't know if Vicky is out of anyone's league, but you know what I'm saying here. It's just like, like we've seen it happen before with our girlfriends time and time

again. I do. Yeah, no, I see what you're saying. I was just joking because I feel like when we date guys, not but anyone who dates guys are like, okay, I like you. Now here's the shit you need to change. But I agree. If a girlfriend told me that about a guy, I'd be like, get the fuck out of there.

Yeah. Maybe guys just need more change, you know? And it goes both ways, by the way. I mean, look at Amanda and Kyle, you know? Oh, God. Please, let's not. If you want to. I think we've looked at enough Amanda and Kyle for my lifetime.

I never need to look at Amanda and Kyle again. At least that relationship. shoes. Here comes one right now. So they're talking about this ring and it's so weird that he would do that. And, you know, why is he dangling it over her head? And she'd say, well, I mean, I don't even know that. Well, I just know what she's so mean. I mean, I hope it's a good guy.

I hope I would hate to have another reunion and have any other Vicky about a stupid chapitistam man. Well, Vicki and Michael or how's not like to call them Michael Vick? They are making dinner together. There's no caliente sign in sight, which is a bad, that is in fact a bad sign, because only good memories are formed around a caliente sign. And if there's no caliente sign, I worry. I worry about the love in this room. Yeah, truly.

Or a sign that says, like, kitchen. You know, I guess being taken over that role now. So Vicki is talking, she's like, every time I start to talk to you, like, you leave the room. He's like, well, I'm just getting everything done. She's like, oh, okay. So, that's funny. It's the same reaction I have to you.

It's crazy. It's alert. It's contagious. So he feeds her a bite of food and she's like, oh my God, hot, hot, oh my God, hot. That burned my tongue, you're supposed to blow on it. You're supposed to talk to it. You're supposed to make sure it does burm by tongue. Like, what do you do it?

You want other people to blow on your food? That's massive. Yeah, you blow on your own food. Ha, ha, my tongue. I wish I knew the Spanish word for it, but I forget. I wish I had some sort of learning device to tell me what hot mess in Spanish. It's like, well, I just ate two of them. I mean, I don't think they were hot.

Well, you have a better mouth than me, okay? Wow, good for you. Let's talk about my knee. Today, the doctor, bat my knee. And I was like, whoa, there's way. And then he said there's no way to fix it without surgery. I mean, do you think that I should go to surgery? What do you think?

You're a doctor. Tell me, why are you leaving the room? Why are you going? Mike off. Circuit surgery. Surrog surgery in my name. Like, well, I met with four doctors before I had my knees replaced. She's like, yeah, but the second option would be like doing cameras in the knee, sending out the branches of the tree trunk, you know, like broken on the meniscus and all that stuff.

And they said, well, it could last you like 10 or 15 years. And I said, okay, well, I'll be 75, ready five. And I'll probably won't even be allowed. And so let's do it that way. So, yeah, she basically met with top, top, top surgeons. And three out of four of them said you probably, this, you need to have surgery. And then one of them was like, oh, or you can do it this way. So she's like, I'm going to do the one that only one person recommended,

the non-invasive hyluronic acid physical therapy way, which I get. The people don't want surgery, but I'm kind of like, if three different top surgeons say you need to have surgery, it's got the surgery. Yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't know. I'm not too averse to surgeries, but I just hear hyluronic acid and I don't believe people. because they've been selling that in beauty care. And they'll be like, oh, it's $80 because it's got hyloronic acid. And I'm like, I'm so old.

Why are we still old? Why? It's like, burn it off. But, you know, I guess it's different in your knee. Well, what if her knees are just like really well-mortized now? She's like, well, I'm still lipping. But I put hyloric acid in my knees and my knees is like 35. So I guess I'm winning.

Ah, it is. So there, she's trying to have this like, relationship seen with him and he is over it he hates it i don't even know he hates being awake like i don't even know what this guy's deal is he seems miserable but he also just hates being on camera which he says so she tried they sit down with these huge plates of food this a very oh my god i just found my fucking apple pencil i've been searching for this all over the house i just ordered a new one it was just a where was that just kidding wait wait it was on my desk ben it was literally right in front of me. God damn it.

I think it just blend in sometimes. Well, I'm grateful to have you. Point is, these plates of food, yes, I do need to be medicated for my ADD. No, I'm not. I'm just taking hydrologic acid. These plates of food were huge. They were so big.

It was a very American plate of food. The stakes were as big as my head, and so were their potatoes. Yeah. That's all I'd say. There. So they're sitting outside. Listen, you found your pencil. You know, it just

you didn't see it. It just sort of blended in. It didn't really pop out. You should rename it, Gina. So Michael says, you know, you talk a big game. I'm going to slow down. I'm going to do it for you. I'm going to slow down. But then you take on another job. Because, yeah, but I have these responsibilities. Well, but then you take on something else.

And you go, you got a podcast. And you do something else. Then you got something else. And you got something else. I'm like, yeah, bro. She's allowed to do other things. And then she tells us, time is one thing that Michael wants me to have more of but like he has no desire to stop working either so whether I pull back from work or not he's not going to have

anything to do that so it's going to be my choice so this guy wants to have a full work like a work schedule but he doesn't want Vicky to have a work schedule this is when I say you can leave the doors over there we can't live with your desire definitely you're going home I couldn't tell what they were even saying because she was saying you said that

In three weeks, we would have a life plan discussion. It's three weeks. Are we going to have a life plan discussion? And he's like, well, you won't slow down. So how do we have a life plan discussion? Well, so it just doesn't make any sense to me. Like, you're only going to be with somebody if they're not working? That's weird.

Who wants that? I don't want somebody not working. The hell out of my house if you're not working. That sounds crazy to me. I don't understand what this whole thing is. And then she's like, well, we need to have a life plan. And he said, well, we're not talking about that tonight. She's like, well, I mean, I thought maybe I was in trouble.

And that's why we're not having a life plan. Cut to later in the episode. Why would you think it's actually like you? Because you're saying things like this. Like, if he's making you feel like you're in trouble and he won't even have a conversation with you, this is probably not the guy. But also, this is like not like a hard conversation. Like, it was one thing when Bronwyn was bringing things up with Todd on camera and she's like,

well, Todd, like, let's not forget, you were farting on an airplane and looking at nudie pictures and people caught you. And he's like, um, do we have to discuss this on camera? But here, Vicky is like, someone while you were farting.

Oh my God. That was a classic. But then meanwhile, like, Vicki's just like, yeah, I just want to talk about our life plan. And Michael's like, I'm still miced up.

I'm leaving. So he just walks away and leaves. And he's like, oh, wow, pretty good out. Probably to the bathroom. He's in the bathroom a lot. Mike out. Mike out.

So we go to Shannon's house and the scene opens, so brilliantly. God, I love these editors. It's just a shot of Shannon standing at our kitchen island, staring sort of down to the floor. And the shot holds. It's like silent.

There's no music. It just holds for like seven seconds. Or it feels like 30 seconds. She's just staring like, well, I guess I will, I guess I'll maybe see if there's yogurt in the fridge. That'll be a fun day. Maybe I can, maybe the yoker can be my friend. Maybe I can come home from shooting and talk.

to the yogurt unless I eat the yogurt. Is it bad to eat your friend? Well, happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. That I hate that song. They only need to get a better birthday song. One is the loneliest.

There's still cameras here. You guys are still here. You getting this? You getting this? Yeah. I mean, this is not to make light of a situation, but the way that she looked so sad and the way she was just staring down at the floor

and then she gave Archie some food I was like oh no this is going to be the like the final chapters of Archie moment is starting now Oh God, no, don't take me there and I'm not trying to be funny I'm not trying to be funny

because she looked so sad and they cut to Archie I thought that's what we were this is what the signal is going to be like oh so I was like oh that's so sad and I was like no it's what it's just Shannon what it's like when you're single I'm telling you As someone who's been single for a long time,

speaking of dogs, I got a camera one time to see what Bueller was doing while I was gone because he barks too much and this and that. And so I put a camera in the living room. Well, this thing is a motion detector. And so I was going through the footage later, and it's me and my butt crack, walking around on my underwear,

and literally just stopping in the middle of the room. I would stop and just stare at a wall or just walk by talking to myself in different housewall I was for. It was the saddest thing I ever saw. And eventually I was like, I don't even care. Just robbed me. I do not want to see this. I don't want to see anything ever again.

I was disturbed. It was like a horror movie. Well, the point is this. That's how sad Shannon looked just standing there at her kitchen island. That I thought that this was going to be a scene about a dog transitioning. And so I was like, wow, it was just so Shannon. Especially because she's been working overtime last season and this time, this season to be like, oh, I'm wacky fun Shannon, top of the board in.

And then they catch this great just shot of her. Like, this is why I love Shannon because her sadness, I'm not happy that she has sadness, but what I love is that she has this like raw emotion that she, no matter how hard she tries, it always comes through on the show. And I think that's brilliant. Yeah. Because she was probably running around 10 minutes before that, like, oh, we're shooting today. Archie, want to treat Troy, get off of that.

I'm like, this is so bad, so happy. And then they're like, okay, are we still shooting? Yep. All right, then. Slowly the energy went down and they just got her. My son last two seconds. It's like nature photography. Troy obeys the instructor at the school, but he doesn't, he doesn't with me.

It's almost like he doesn't respect me. It's almost like I make him dinner every single day, and I'm a supportive mother to him. And all he does is go out to the beach and walk around with slots on the beach. Okay, no, I love Troy. I'm very happy with him. Ding dong! Guess what? We're surprising you on your birthday.

It's television's Heather Debrough and Poor People's Jen. So they enter and it's a, what's it called? It's a surprise birthday party. And it's actually a very cute scene. They just come over just to celebrate Shannon. And Heather's like, I was. really sad when I heard Shannon say that she was lonely. Well, first I laughed and then I said, you mean she doesn't have four staff members in there as well? And then I felt bad. And then I laughed

again because I thought of Wendy Malick tripping on some lint, because I heard that that happened once. And then I got sad again thinking about Shannon. And I thought, okay, she probably wants a wealthy person to come visit her. So that's what I've done. No one's lonelier than Park overall's IMDB. Just think of it that way, Shand. I have to say hell no to this surprise party. It's not a surprise party if you all show up at my house and drink out of my glasses and use my plates and get shit all over my clean house. This is not a party for me.

A party for me is like taking me somewhere or having me meet you or something. Come over to my house so you throw me a party, but I have to clean up after you. Well, happy fucking birthday. Surprise. Actually, I'm not even sure it was a surprise, to be honest. I think they actually were all aware. But I just thought it was, like, cute that they just went to her house, and they all sat in her living room, and they all just sat around the sofas.

It was like a very normal gathering of friends. Normal we used to them going to Javier, and knowing something, this, whatever, and that's all fun to watch. But there was something about the intimacy of the scene that I did find to be genuinely warm and affecting to me. Well, at least I got some intimacy on my birthday. Thank you, Ben. Thank you for pointing that out. Well, I do have to tell you what happened. You know, I took Sophie out on Saturday night and there was a guy that had a plaid sport coat on. Oh, well, you know, he paid the tap. And then I said, whoa, well, I'll contribute something. I have some old salmon with some cream cheese in my freezer. If you want to stop buying, he said, you will never pay for another thing as long as I'm in your life. And then he stuck his tongue down my throat. It was amazing. You know, just casual making out with people in plaid jackets, you know. And then you said, you can't spell plaid without an eye. And I said, what do you mean?

I didn't spell P-L-A-D-D. He said, no, it's P-L-A-I-D. And I said, oh, I didn't realize. And he goes, and the eye was supposed to be me. I'm trying to say I'm in your life. And you're the plaid in this example. And I said, I'm not following anymore. He said, okay, whatever. Let's just kiss. And I said, sure. I'm still not following, though, ladies. It's been in my head ever since. The restaurant called me yesterday and said, why didn't you pay the bill? I said, the guy in Platt paid it. And I said, he gave you the employee discount.

So that was embarrassing. But I did make out with a waiter. I didn't realize I was at a Scottish-themed Benigans. But it's okay. It was a great time. Wow. Well, Shannon's stunging people down in public. I mean, apparently she's not so lonely now.

She doesn't go downtown, though. I've encouraged her to go downtown. She's not there yet. She's not the blowjob stage yet, but we'll get there. Give her a minute. She just met the plaid jacket guy. Shadden has a very reasonable response. I'm not a hooker, but I've got some game.

Okay, I've got a hooker type game. You know, oh, like Carmela. Yeah, oh, yeah. perhaps. I would normally be mad at that, except I need Carmel to be my friend, so she is actually my sister from Francho Santa Rancho. By the way, I ordered a pizza. That's what fun girls get in the city. Did you know that some people just call it Zah? Isn't that cool? Zah, like the first two letters of your favorite jewelry store. Well, here it comes. Here are the delivery people.

It's like, well, Gina as a pizza delivery person is too real. So I'm not even fun. I believe that more than Gina being a realtor. Look, everyone, we have the privilege of meeting the noid in person. You no longer have to avoid it. Pizza pizza, am I right? We got a pizza. Lonely person delivery.

Oh, Shannon. Hey, we got this pizza from I feel being. I hope you enjoy it. We've got three extra large ones. Why? I don't know. But you're alone. So you should put them in the fridge and just eat like five pieces a day forever.

I am shocked that everybody is here and that they brought pizza when I have so much salmon in my freezer. I mean, there was a lot of inventory left over for real for real. But I, you know, I'm the one that throws the surprise party. So it certainly was not what I was expecting. It's overwhelming. I'm naughty. I don't even think I have enough seating. So I guess this was a surprise party.

It was nice of them to not pay for more than a pizza for my surprise when we've given so much for everyone else's surprise parties. Wow. I mean, I do love a surprise. And this is definitely a better surprise than then bringing Alexis Bellino. So I guess I should be happy about that. Can I get you something decent party guests of the party that I didn't plan? No, it's your party. We brought pizza.

We voted for you. Single people full. Sad people. Oh, I'm just very overwhelmed by this pizza. My birthday. It's very special. Thank you. That's so much.

I love a big circle of things that are full of toxins. That's what pizza is for me. Okay. Yes. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one, of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says, part two. See you over there, suckers. Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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