Watch What Crappens - #3527 Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip S505 One: Baby Late-geous

Episode Date: September 8, 2026

This is part one of a two-part recapThe Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip gives us NeNe making another enormous entrance in Atlanta and Lisa Barlow finally gives everyone a real reason to be annoyed when she shows up late. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, sign up for our free weekly newsletter and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. @butterballturkey #ButterballPartnerFind Butterball near you at butterball.com. Follow @butterballturkey for more Deb & Lynn content.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Okay, everyone, before we get into this Bravo chaos for today, we have to address something that just arrived here in our studio, our home studios. We just got a delivery. And actually, it's not just any delivery. Look, it's in this bag. It's not just any delivery, Ronnie. Do you have one also? Oh, yeah. Devin Lynn sent us a gift, the Deben Lynn, all right?

The Butterball Gals. I think I've seen them doing, like, turkey meatballs. and apparently they're watch what Crapin's listeners and they wanted to show their appreciation in the most Deb and Lynn way possible with food and a hat

oh my God maybe I should have put my other thing on first wait there's an apron there's an apron wait do you see it has my name on it does that have yours say Ronnie yes oh my God you look so adorable

wait hold on putting mine on I'm putting my apron on because everyone knows the first step to podcasting is to wear an apron. Okay, safety first. This hat is actually amazing. Look at this. Wait. Hold on. Wait, does the hat fit over my headphones? I'm putting it on. It says, the hat says, Turkey is my love language. That's so true. By the way, my shirt actually matches this butterball stuff. It does. Yeah, you came themed and branded today. This segment is brought to you in partnership with Butterball. And the timing could not be more

Perfect because Labor Day is here, which means that barbecue season is having its final moment. And Deb and Lynn made sure that we are ready for it because these women care hard and cook easy. And apparently they also have excellent taste in podcasts. So we're going to unbox. Are you ready to see what's in the bag? What do you have?

Yeah, I got a lunch box. It's what my hat and my apron came in. And then there's a whole bag of stuff. Turkey burgers. Love the turkey burgers. are with natural flavorings their original seasoned 60% less fat this is actually really good because i actually really really enjoy a turkey burger i'm trying to keep it stand it up on its side it's gonna fall over oh my god guys it's gonna fall over it's gonna fall over and you know i love a mayo

and nothing's better than a chipotle mayo love a chipotle mayo wait okay wait what's in this jar oh yes pickled red onions pickled of red onions with a turkey burger that's a great combo the You'd love that. Pepper Jack cheese. Gonna have to have that. Oh, wait. Oh, wait. Guacamole.

Oh, so you put, okay. Wait, you know what? I was starting in my mind thinking of how these could all go together, but you know what I found inside my bag? It is actually, it is a recipe from Debenlin themselves. Look, Deben Lynn are on there. Do you see them? Devinland! Hey girls!

Devon Lynn! Watch for crap's biggest fans! Okay, so this is Devinlinlin's. This is Devin Lins. Of course, some chili peppers as well. Ooh, great. I love some spice. I love that Devin Leonard's spicing it up.

I know. I love. Chipotle mayo, pepperjack cheese, and peppers. Yes, some spicy ladies over there. So do you want to know what their recipe is for a Tex-Mex turkey burger? Okay. So for Butterball Original Season Frozen Turkey Burgers. Oh my God, right here in this box.

For Pepper Jack cheese slices. For burger buns. Quarter cup of Chipotle mayo, half a cup of guacamole, quarter cup of pickled red onions, and half a cup of sliced jalapinos for some spice. So you cook the burger patties. And then in the last one to two minutes, add the cheese slices and let it melt, toast the buns, spread the mayo on the top bun, and on the bottom bun, you put the guacamole, and then you add the pickled onions to the bottom bun, and the burger on top of the onions.

So I would have put the onions on top, but this makes so much more sense because when you put the onions on top, They slide off. So you put the onions on the bottom. There you go. Geniuses. And then jalapinos go on top. So easy. This is so easy to do.

And it's perfect timing because my family's in town. So I'm making dinner tonight. And guess what it's going to be? Turkey burgers, baby. Devin Lynn, we see you and we feel seen. Thank you so much for sending us this. We will be making this before the next episode. so just in time for Labor Day. Thank you, ladies.

Thank you for listening to this segment brought to you in partnership with Butterball this Labor Day or next time you are cooking for someone you care about. Pick up Butterball Turkey. Butterball, Care Hard, Cook Easy. Find them at Butterball.com. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crapins, a podcast for All the Crap. We love to talk about on Yeo Broves. I'm Ronnie. That's been over there. Hello, you handsome man. How you doing? Hello, how are you? Look, I'm really sassy today.

I got my hand flopping all left and right. I am great, thanks. How was your long weekend, Ronnie? Oh, it was just a joy. It was good. It was very good. It was meaningful, steep, family time, good stuff like that. How about you?

It was very chill, got some good R&R. I had a fantasy football draft on Yahoo, and I actually forgot to join up until like 10 rounds into it. It's like a 16 round draft, so I didn't join in until later. And like anyone who does fantasy football, I know this doesn't mean anything to you. And this story will, you will have an emotional reaction to this, I believe. But like the first, really what matters are like the first like six rounds or so. That's like the most important picks.

So I missed the most important part of the draft. So when you don't show up to the draft, Yahoo will auto draft for you. Like basically the robots will make the choices for you. And so I came in. I did a few picks at the end. And then what happens is that when you're done making your picks, when the draft is over, Yahoo will send you an email with like a report card on how your draft was. And like I traditionally always do pretty badly because I always pick badly.

I was like, well, this will actually be good because the robots picked. And so I'll actually probably have to do way better. So I got my report card and they gave me an F. And I was like an F. I've never got an F on the draft. I've gotten like a D before but not an F. And I was so mad because I was like, you chose this.

Why are you giving me an F when you chose this? And it was so mean to me. It was like, it was like Ben Mandelker drafts the perfect team in an alternate universe. I was like, whoa, you, why are you, don't blame me for your choices. I actually felt like I was literally, it felt like a real housewife's moment. It felt like a real housewife made a draft,

like did the draft for me, and then blamed me for it. I was furious. Yeah, that's why you can't let the robots take over, because they suck. They just do things that suck anyway, so what's the point? Although I do have to- I do have to appreciate the pettiness of them though, like a robot that like, could you imagine,

if we had known that like the Terminator, like Skynet would be like not just evil but also like a gaslighter that's kind of funny it's like we didn't take over the world you did uh wasn't me great job taking over the world idiot judging themselves you did that luad you did no uh well we are going on tour that was a terrible segue but there's no other way we're going on tour uh we start october 3rd we will have have a new schedule up tomorrow for you all to go look at and tickets to go on sale at the end of the week. We'll bug you about that later. As usual, if you want this on video, you can get that at Patreon along with bonus episodes and all that good stuff. So join us over there. It's also where you get ad-free listening now. And today, it's the Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip, Season 5, Episode 5 to peach their own. So this was an episode of a lot of people saying hello and coming into a place.

That happens sometimes on Housewives, but this show's killing me with that. That's what this entire season is. This entire series is people walking, like, oh my God, there's so-and-so. I will say, though, I do think that this was the best episode of the season, because at this point, like, they've been trying to cobble

together some sort of interpersonal dynamics on the show. And it's starting to come together. There was definitely some conflict, and there's definitely an issue with Lisa. But man, oh, man, it's just a lot of entrances on this show. Nothing but entrances and flashbacks. Well, it was nice to see Giselle be able to get upset about something that was real.

She didn't have to make shit up this time to start stuff. It was actually a legit thing. So that was good. And as we always say, Lisa will always give you a reason to be pissed. You don't have to make shit up because she will come, she will do it. So stop making stuff up and just let baby be gorgeous. It made me so sad for her. She really, like, she has like the biggest, like, Bravo icons in her corner. You know, when Heather and Angie go up to Lisa and are like, it's mainly Heather

and are really trying to go for Lisa, and you got Teresa who just steps right behind Lisa, be like, I've got your back. That's, and the In the world of housewives, that is so significant. That's, like, so major. And to know that Lisa is gonna squander the goodwill that she has, I think the only thing that's gonna save her is that looks like Luan as a villain is ascending, because she's driving everyone nuts with her constant singing.

Even in this episode, they cut to like a flashback in the party, where Luanne's just standing in the middle of the party is singing like, Sheik-Sel-Liv. It's like, it's crazy. It's so funny. But it makes me sad to think I love it. I was like, they're not even playing that. They're playing Phil Collins or something,

and you're still singing your song, like, that's what's playing on the radio. I mean, the delusion. I love it. I know. It's hilarious. But I was going to say before, though, is it's been really funny watching,

watching the whole situation with Vicki. Vicki just showing her ass at this. Like, oh, I feel uncomfortable here in Atlanta. And like, just Twitter, just tearing her the shreds. It's so funny. It's just funny because when they did this whole thing at BravoCon about like, well, Vicki, would you like your orange back? It's like, everyone was like so happy and people were crying on their feet.

And in my mind, I've just been like, what did people think was going to happen? This is Vicki. When she left, she didn't leave on top. She left very much on the bottom. And like, what did people expect? Yeah, well, that's that's a friendly house Bravo con, you know, because I didn't react that way I was over there. I wasn't in that theater. We weren't, we didn't go to that thing, but I didn't react that way. I booed audibly. I heard that shit. It's like this, this is what you're going to do

to fix things. This? Yeah. Come on, man. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. So, yeah, this is a lot of saying hello, but I would like to say to the drag queens from this week, here's a lesson in drag. This is how you do it. It was all of these ladies entering. Marlowe is Caruella DeVille. Marla. Nini leaks coming in on a freaking, I don't know why Nini gets to make a parade entrance every single week, but she did it again.

She came in this time being carried on a thing by a bunch of guys. This one, I will say, needed some work because she didn't think about, okay, they carry you in on a platform, like a bunch of shirtless guys. Then you get in there, and then they have to put you on the floor. And then you have to get it from the floor. That one could have been thought out of it a little bit better about it. You know, it's whatever. They just should edit around that part.

That's what they should have done. But yes, we're here. We're at this big party. and it's it's a lot of it's funny because we're like starting to go into the notes right now and it's just it's pure chaos it's like this person that person this person that person but we do see robin and giselle oh people saying hi yeah people saying hi the photos for the next season of of Potomac sneak peek of the looks etc of their cast photos that emerged today I believe in ebony and we saw what their looks are And it looks like Monique will be with us this next season. She was in the mix. Ha, in the mix. Like the Benerraniator.

So a little update on that front. Monique is back. So people are walking in and saying hello. And meanwhile, Lisa has been arguing, well, not really arguing, just kind of defending off, rather, Heather at the bar. Who's like, what? There's not even a camera here, Lisa. What do you set up?

Once again, Lisa Barlow. sex of the challenge, can't even get dressed for the challenge. floating it in. You're dressed like Ramona from the lip sync show. Yes. Who are we getting upset? And if anyone is slacking, I mean, Lisa is slacking, but yell at Kyle too. She's wearing the exact same outfit.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So she's bugging her. And then Lisa walks away and she walks away and Teresa's like, are you got? Aren't you got me? It sounds? Like, oh my gosh.

Like, I'm thanks, T. I'm, thank you. I thank you so much for checking on me, but I'm good. I just want to make sure because when I did my first girl's trap, like, I remember Kenya Moore had my back against the Ramona, you know? And then we see a clip of Ramona being like, you know what? It's just this Teresa girl. What is she?

I call it Teresa the scarecrow from the Wizard of Us, because what is she? Like, scared? What is a hair? Is the hair straw? What is it? She's so dumb. And Kenya defends her. I think Kenya should have been at this party.

I know that NBC is probably, you know, that she's in the penalty box because of the stuff with Brit. But I think she should have been here. I don't know. Like, I'm, I'm, is this bad that I'm like, I'm ready to welcome Kenya back? She's in the penalty box. She lost a year's worth of work. Her thing closed down. She got her penalties.

I'm like, I'm ready. Well, we're Bravo viewers, so I think we've learned to just forgive more quickly, you know? Well, because it happens inevitably. You know what it is? Because it happens inevitably. So why make you're actually penalizing us more in an effort to look like you're doing the right thing? Because obviously what Kenya did was terrible. It was wrong.

It was 100% wrong. But you're going to welcome her back. to the fold eventually. So why not do it sooner rather than later? Why not give us one of our great villains? Like, could you just consider that, please? Thanks. Bye. Yeah, take note, fuckers. So, um, Teresa's like, oh, you know what, lady, a lady from some other show, let's have her back if anybody comes for her. And she was like, of course, I'm the queen of backhavers. So Derek Blinks is there shooting some pictures and stuff And he sees Candace and checks in with her

And Giselle's still like Oh, not I forgot Candice was even here Ra! And we see a clip up, not today, Satan. Not today, neck. Not today. Encles. The whole thing.

And then guess what? A garbage truck pulls up And the back opens and out comes Marlowe. I was. concerned that Marlowe would not be at this party. And I also feel like Marlowe deserves a moment. And so I was actually genuinely so happy to see her. And I will use this as a moment to chill the YouTube series, What's Your Order, that I've been doing? Because the new episode that I'm going to drop either later today or tomorrow morning, I just have to make the thumbnail for

it, is going to be about the top five housewives friends of, like the best friends of, of all time and Christine Ariel joined me for that one. So will Marlowe make the lists and where will she be on the list? You'll just have to find out on our YouTube. Okay, that was my show.

Find out tomorrow. So, Kyle's like, oh my God, who is that? It's Marlowe. Oh my God, that looks like a lot of work. That's too much work for me. We know, Kyle. You're still cosplaying

as the person you've been cosplaying for two years. Okay, with your alter ego parties. I don't want to hear it from Kyle. It looks like too much work for me. You had a party at SoFi Stadium. Get out of here. You could show up in a dump truck if you wanted to.

So then we see a... Well, it's a whole train. I mean, this dress is insane. It's like crazy. It was amazing. And that's what I'm saying, the drag people need to learn, because this was a pageant. This was great. Great work.

This was... So Marlowe's saying hello to people, and Portia is telling us like, Well, I don't not get along with Marlowe. I mean, I just don't know Marlowe. Like, do we shoot at the even at the same time? I'm like, lady, we all sat there. We all watched her whole season with Marlowe.

What do you act like, did you shoot the same time as Marlowe? Of course, she did, and not just that season, multiple seasons. Of course, of course. She remembers. But then 50 cent comes in. And then there's five minutes of saying hi to her because she's dressed as 50 cents. And it's 50 cent.

So then Vicki says, hi. to Angie and Heather and Lisa sees it. She's like, there's just major trust issues with my cast. Like, we're, we just, the reunion is airing right now. It's, like, so difficult. And, like, now I already have to be around them again. It's, like, so hard. Like, I just want to day off.

Like, I need a break. I mean, I do feel like you probably need to break from that cast. Like, that is hard. If you were, I have to imagine that if you were a real house off, you do need, like, a decompression after that reunion. And while it's airing and all that shit, you just, need to be in a protected space. So then to have to come face to face with Heather and Angie

in the middle of it, it's got to be pretty difficult. So Giselle is. In her defense, Angie's not really even doing anything to her. Yeah, I don't think Angie's doing much. Angie really turns on the nice and not nice at the flip of a switch. She can get messy and fight, but she can also just enjoy a party. She's like, hi, hello, Lisa.

What is going on with you? She doesn't, she's not mad at all. Yeah. Heather. Heather, Heather's like swirling a martini around, like leaning back, squinting her eyes, making faces. Like, what is Lisa doing now? I'm gonna tell her off. Yeah, I mean, maybe this is me,

maybe this is me projecting my, my sort of like, fan view of Heather onto this situation, which is that, like, she had, I think, a pretty bad season on Salt Lake City. She sort of, in my mind, came off as the villain, even though I don't think she realized that's what she was doing. And so I don't know if I just get the sense that, like, Heather coming so hard at Lisa in this sort of, like, different show, kind of reeks of someone who wanted to be on this show and is mad that Lisa got the spot.

And I don't know if I'm just projecting something or if that's generally what's there on screen. But like, that's the energy that I'm definitely getting from her. I don't know if it's the editors on Salt Lake City. or if she just fits in with that whole group of nut cases more than she does any other show. But she's always awkward on terrible. I'm sorry, not on terrible shows, on other shows. She's always terrible on other shows. Below deck the first time she came on with Angie H.

Do you remember that years ago? She was really, she seemed like she was coked up out of her mind. She was just annoying and loud and trying to get the cameras every two seconds. She was annoying as hell on the next girls trip, or not girls trip, but the next below deck they just did last season. She was annoying. She was kind of annoying on the girls' trip she did in Thailand. She was a little bit. I think she never works the same as she does on Salt Lake City, I guess is my point.

She's not really a great guest star. Yeah. And you know, like I think Heather, this last season of Salt Lake City, I really, I felt like this last season maybe season a half, I felt like Heather has really declined. But that being said, I think she's like one of the very top housewives that's out there. And I kind of wish she would like kind of be in her, I don't know, like, be more comfortable in the reality that she was like the anchor for Salt

Lake City for many, many years. And that when she goes on to these shows, she doesn't have to like generate a moment, she can just be Heather and she will probably then like shine. And I think that she's sort of like, it seems like she's lost sight of that in some ways, right? And that's why she's now really kind of descending, like, on Salt Lake City while others like Lisa are ascending or Angie Kay or really so many others, you know? Yeah. I missed Heather from season one eating a meatball while people are fighting. Well, that one.

That's fair. But the past couple of years, me. So Heather and Mary, yeah, she's just so into... The receipts, a brief timeline. There's that whole rise to ascendancy and the post-Gent-Shaw, where she's like, I'm taking this over. And obviously keeping the blogging thing until the very last episode and being like, what? I just found out that this person is a blogger. Which led to one of the greatest season finale ever.

But it's just a little, I don't like to see working that hard. You know what I mean? You're supposed to make it look effortless. And so that's kind of my problem with housewives when they just get to be too, trying too hard and trying to stir too much. Just relax. Well, she teetered in. She went from being Heather Gay to playing Heather Gay on TV.

And I think that's where I think the disconnectist began with the audience. And I think it largely started to really happen after the receipts proof timeline because it was such a big moment. It was such an iconic moment. It was like an amazing quote. Like what had happened. Like there's a reason why it's famous is because it blew us all away. It was like, it was just like, oh, this is amazing. But then she's sort of, I think, been like chasing that high in a weird way.

And I don't know. It's just like not been the same Heather that I feel like I fell in love with all those years ago. And that sometimes happens with the big stars, you know, they this is what, it's what happened with NeNe. Honestly, I think, Nini like, you know, Now we've been gone with NeNey for a long time, so the nostalgia's kicked in, and we appreciate NeNe for like that she is The number one housewife of all time most likely, but Like she wasn't great all those years. She wasn't I think we see the same thing with Heather and the point is just that when we see her here on this show going after Lisa There's part of me that's just like Heather

You are no matter what we think like Heather's always been the center of Salt Lake whether she's been a villain or not. She's always been the center, and she's not acting like a center snowflake right now. She's acting like all the way to the left, barely holding onto a job. It's like auditions. You know, it's constant auditions. Here comes one right now. Meanwhile, everyone's talking about how hot Cynthia is as a man.

And he was like, we're assuming Cynthia for at least five minutes before I even knew it was her. And then we see Lou Anzance. just dancing. Cut to Cynthia being right in front of her in the land being like, money can't buy you class. For anyone who ever wondered if how so many people didn't realize that Clark Kent was Superman, just watch this episode and watch all these women being like shocked that Cynthia is 50 synth. Like the fact that they're like it, they're like, what? Wait, hello, young man. Have you ever been with a countess before? It's like, it's me.

What was that? What was that, you feminine-sounding man? It's like, that's Cynthia, Luanne. It's Cynthia. Oh, well, she took up for glasses. Now I see it. Cynthia also really leans into the acting part of it. You know, like she doesn't smile ever. There's no smile or any, you know. And I'm used to sing smiley model Cynthia, you know? And she's really like, hey, just carrying around a bottle of, like, tequila or something. The bottle chains all over her.

So, yeah. Lisa says, hi to Robin and she's like, oh my God, do you remember Robin? Last time I saw you, we were stuck in a van together. And do you remember what you said to me? It was so hilarious, you guys. She's gonna remember. You tell him. She's like, yeah.

I don't remember. Go on, tell him. It was so funny. I don't remember you, really. Yeah, it was so good. She said, you talk too much. It was so funny. Oh.

And then we have this amazing stupid scene, which I loved, of Heather and Luan talking. And Heather goes up to Luan to endure herself. And so she starts speaking French to Luan, but she does it as well as I do, as well as I speak French, which is not well at all. Even though I was, famously, the president of French club in high school, I have lost my skills.

And this is like, I feel like Heather probably also has not kept up their French since high school, because she's like, Luan, je vie de, je vie voyage. a France with you. It's just like, oh, you ve voyage a France

with me. They're saying, I want to travel to France with you. But they both have like this terrible, terrible French accent. And they're just speaking this clunky French. I'm like, I know my French isn't good, but I'm watching these two. And I apologize to all the French people tuning in to watch the Real Housewives for this conversation, because this was just, this was

painful watching them to use French in this way. Your French is good enough to know that there sucks. You know? You just know enough French to be able to judge other people. And that's why I feel like people should be well-read and well-versed and everything, because you want to be able to be judgmental to people from all professions and walks of life. I know. And I think that even if you don't speak French, you knew that they were doing it wrong.

Because I think most people, when you hear like a French person, French people talking, it's like truly just beautiful. It's beautiful sounds like, oh, I feel paville de la de lais. It all sort of sounds like that, whereas these two were like, but I can't go go to a French, but I was like, oh my God, this was like a typewriter. Well, you don't even have to know French to see how just awkward it is, because Heather's like, Hout, the way and a veq more, ah, ha, ha, ha, man with more a la Francai, mm, swirling her glass.

Like, oh, God, who are you performing for? she's standing right in front of you, for Christ's sake. We hear you. So Lou wants to go out for a cigarette. And Heather says, oh, I don't like, I don't like the cigarette, Lou. She's like, well, but I have one. So we're going. But by the way, later on,

Loua is like, you know, I think Heather's fabulous, but her French sucks. Later on when they were outside, some eagullied person on Twitter took a still of Heather was also smoking a cigarette. But actually she wasn't because she was just holding it and like there she was not ashing it. So it had this like like an inch of just like burnt up cigarette at the end of it. And people are like, you know, Heather's such a pose or why are you pretending like you

know even how to smoke a cigarette when you're sitting there with like the whole tip of it? Just like in that kind of like delicate ashy state. Oh, delicate ashy state. Enter Kim. Hello. What an entrance for Kim Zolsiak. I know. Kim Zolsiak comes in.

Like, ha, ha, ha, it's me. Kim's Outsiat. Yeah, it's me. I don't give, yeah. What, will we have drinks or something? What are they putting them in a cup? We're just having beers? What do we do?

So I take one out of my purse? I got one if I need them. You need me to show you how to smoke a cigarette? Fucking poser. I can do that. And Heather's like, You don't know me, but I'm a shh. huge fan. Who says that to Kim Zolsiak?

How does, how do, who leads with that with Kim Zolsiak? It could be like, oh my God, you don't know me, but I love to watch you on the show, whatever, but who actually announces on camera that they are a Kim Zolsiac fan? And Kim doesn't say, oh yeah, I know who you are too or anything like that. She's like, oh yeah, nice to meet you. Whatever. All right. We're going. What are we doing? Is she taking pictures? What's there me taking pictures? There's so many people. here are his bitches you know I haven't seen Kim Zolciak in years she was married she had kids like yeah unfortunately we know about that and then she's I love it she's tardy for the party you know so it's fitting I'm so glad that she decided to to get into a

time machine after I sang my song on Real House of New York and go back a few years prior and then sing her song so people think she sang at first but we all know I was the first one thank god for time traveling technology ha ha ha doodal edd i'm your inspiration yes me i'm kansas luan you know the person you were copying 1997 whatever year that was everything i do i do it for you oh sorry i was just seeing the song that bryan adams ripped off of me and then went back in time and released in nineteen ninety two What were you saying? You ain't nothing but a hound dog.

Crying all the time. You know, they do say that Elvis stole a lot of his music from a very important community. Me, the Countess community. You know I'm bad. I'm bad. You know it. I'm bad. That one was for you, Michael. It was always an honor to inspire you to write that song in the future. You know, I want to say, the Michael Jackson movie.

Poor Michael Jackson. You know, I went through it and I thought, where's Janet? Turns out Janet went back in a time machine just to try and beat me to my first single. She couldn't do it. Yeah, she took my first single. We asked what?

Tell me about Janet Jackson. Did you know Janet Jackson's not in the Michael movie? My niece, or someone told me this weekend. I saw Michael and they cut out Janet Jackson. I did not know that. know that mainly because i don't want to buy opics anymore just in general my it's my line in the sand um yeah i refuse i think they're all boring which one three uh which one drew that line for you hmm that's a great question i don't know it feels like it must be one that you're

like there must have been one that just broke me i don't i have to i have to go i have to i have to think about that it obviously doesn't stand out it was like it was like it was like a growing, gnawing feeling, and then eventually I was like, no more, no mas. They're all boring. They're literally all so fucking boring. Listen, if your life doesn't fit in an Instagram post, I don't want to see it. Okay, you're talking too much. So Shrey and Lisa will arrive, which is exciting.

And then Portia saying, it really isn't important to have the OGs here. Kim Zolziak, Shire is here, Lisa Wu. You know, I really want this party to be a celebration of Atlanta, and there are people who opened the door, came in, shared their life first. So, of course, they had to be here tonight. I'm like, is Deshawn busy? Where is Deshawn? Poor Deshawn. DeShon would come in. Like, we're raising $10 million tonight for my charity.

Bet my life on it. That's right. Yeah. She's the only OG that wasn't there. Oh, she was the only one. Right? Who else was missing from that cast? I don't know, but I guess you're right. So Kim goes to say hi to Vicki, and she's like,

you're all right, right? You're all right, is a lot, right? Who are all these bitches? Who is everybody in here? Vicki's like, I'm just exhausted. I want to leave right now. Nobody would even miss me. Who am I?

Who am I? Nobody's even looking at me. I feel ridiculous. Hate this. Jim was like, yeah, right, dude. You know, you're one of my faves, man. One of my faves. So there it is, everyone we found.

It all makes sense. So then Vicki is like, I just feel like, yeah, yeah, thank you so much. I have a lot of people to it. Yeah, I remember when you were doing that, receipts, timelines, you know, receipts, receipts, that was so good. That actually wasn't me. That was that woman over there. I don't know that bitch.

I don't know her. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking. about. But Vicki is feeling out of place. I don't feel comfortable. Why am I dressed like this? I don't wear wigs. This hat is crooked. I don't have anybody that I'm close with. I don't know. I don't know what I like I don't know why I'm here. I think I'm invisible. Well, like, I'll make yourself visible. Go talk to people. You know the people on your cast. Go like chat around, introduce yourself. Speak with people. Geez. She thinks everyone's going to come up and kiss her ass. Nobody cares. Okay. Nobody cares. Make an effort. For Christ's sake. Yeah. So now Nini comes in on her

throne and everyone's cheering and screaming for, Kyle's jumping on the throne. Like, oh my god, my best friend. I know her. I know her. Yeah. This is basically my throne. We're friends. We're friends. We're friends. And then Nini gets on stage and she's like, excuse me, excuse me. And then Luen goes, attention! That's French. That was for Heather. I love Lou Anne shouting at Holy Vigal, me gz-vovall.

That means in case someone is choking, just reading science. Vue levo-couche with me. So, uh, Nih, that's how you say, be careful in French, but in German. That's how German say, be careful in French.

So Nini gets up there, and she's like, I just, it's like, you know, I just want to say it's a privilege to be in a room with all you guys tonight. Thank you so much for loving me and welcome me back with open arms. This is Atlanta. And I could not have done Atlanta, honestly, without Kim Zolseek and Sherey Whitfield. And Portia's like, like, oh, geez. Because, yes, the OGs.

And, you know, I've had a lot of friendships with this whole thing. And a lot of friendships I had dissolved and came back. So Portia Williams, I love you. Will you come to the stage? Oh, wow. I feel I'm just so happy that all the OGs are being celebrated. And those are specifically Kim Zolziak and Shiree Whitfield and no one else. So Portia comes up to the stage and she's like, thank you, NeNeely.

Yeah, Atlanta. By the way, Lisa Wu is here. She's like, uh-huh. Lisa Wu. Wow. Lisa who? Lisa, Lisa, what? Uh, so Lisa's, you know, what the fuck, NeNe?

Thanks. Thanks. Thanks, needs. Thanks, Mimi. Thank you, baby. Thank you. Yeah, at least who is not happy about it. I mean, I would also feel a certain sort of way of her. I would be like, I'm literally standing in the front row. I'm here, like, what the fuck? So, Portia, like, gives everyone their flowers. Well, she raised there too. But Shere gets- Does she say Shere gets... She says Sherey and Kim,

but she doesn't say Lisa Wu. Oh, yeah. She leads out Liza Lou. God, I'm dumb. That happened five seconds ago in recap time. Like, what? What is it? It's a biopic. Okay, so Portia gives kind of a little speech, too, and she's like, we're going to celebrate. I mean, the speech. Nini is your second speech, and you still don't have anything. She's like, I'm here. I got a dress.

I had a dress, and four men carry me in, okay? That's my speech. You're welcome. So, Giselle is so excited to see Nini and talks about how important real housewives of Atlanta was to her. and they opened the door for Potomac, everybody. And so Nini goes to talk to Kim. It's like, Kim. It's like, bitch, how are you?

You look beautiful. I'm happy to see you. It's me. It's me. It's you. It's both of us. It's amazing how only one of us got better wigs as all the years go on.

All right. Eddie, he's like, you look great. She's like, oh my God, Shiree Whitfield, you look beautiful. And she's like, I'm loving this. I'm loving all this. She's like, yeah, you look great. And he's like, yeah, we've been friends for 23 years. you know? And she's like, yeah, our children's our adults.

Our children are adults. And Lisa's like, well, since you don't know another original, damn, Meen, what's up with that? And Nina's like, well, I didn't know you were here. I didn't even see you. You know, it's a speech. People forget. She says, no. No, because she didn't even say Lisa. I'm just saying respect to respect. That's all I'm saying. She's like, do you need me to repeat it? I forgot. I forgot. She's like, do not raise your voice at me, Nini.

She's like, don't raise her voice at me and don't keep telling me something that doesn't make any sense. I forgot. Lisa's like, it doesn't make any sense. She's like, I'm in a very good place, and I don't want to sit up here and talk about how I forgot you. I didn't forget you, okay? It's not that serious. It's not that deep to me. She's like, how could you need you?

I've been a friend to you. She goes, well, okay, bye. I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this scene. I don't do these kinds of scenes with. People like you. Um, so, uh, Shireate's like, well, you should give her some respect, Nini. You know, it's, it's natural for somebody to just need a little respect.

She's like, whatever. I told her, I'm old. Like, what do you want? I don't even know what I did a few minutes ago. I'm with you. I'm with you on that one. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, if anyone knows anything about forgetting to give a shout out to people that, like, we know and love, like, it's definitely been us.

We've done that a million times. But it seemed kind of crazy. I mean, Lisa was just right there. So then Ashley- It's also very Nini, to be like, whoops. Sorry. Sorry. Like you would think she'd be like,

oh my God, I'm so sorry. I was so flummoxed, but Nini is like, yeah, oh well, sorry, Lisa. So Ashley pulls Luan to the side. I almost said Ashley pulls Darby to the side, but Ashley pulls Luan and she goes, Guess who texted me yesterday? And she's like, who? She's like, Ralph.

Oh, I thought you were gonna say Tommy Tune. I guess that was just me. Ha-ha. So, uh, gluhan, uh, reminds us that she and Ashley did love hotel together, um,

which made me really miss Love Hotel. I really hope that comes back. Um, and so then we see flashbacks of Ralph, which, of course, I'm sure, made all of America so happy. Yeah. I choose you to leave

Love Hotel with me. Okay. congratulations you win wow so Ashley says that Ralph invited her to go to Barcelona for the week and I was like go I can't she's like I'm gonna LA for work well I'm like go job do it it's crazy go for it goes go out of flights next to a man with hairy arms and get yourself some crabs get on it girl don't forget you know Ralph's the one of the original ones that I want who hoody duty I got a big haughty duty for me so I say jump on him run to Barcelona do

what you got to do me know what I mean oh oh oh oh oh and do it I kind of feel like that's Luann's way of saying listen I wanted him first and you guys took him so you better follow through with this otherwise I'm gonna go for him yeah Lou Am's like you know Lou Ann texted right after like oh so you're going to Barcelona thanks a lot for the invite. You're like, yeah, I'm not busy. I'll see you there. Barcelona! I just made that song up. So then we see Lisa Barlow and she's talking to Candace. Is it this fun? Candice is like, oh yeah, I love it, 20 years.

Yeah. It's like of 20 years of freaking housewives. And you know what's crazy is like we're all I always say that like we're sort of like on the other side of the legacy and like we're carrying it forward right now. And he's like, y'all! So then Portia and Sway come over to talk. They join them. And this is so good. Portia's like, oh, so Sway is Frankie and I.

I'm Lucy. And Gannius is like, Lucille Ball? Yeah. You know, I love Lucy. Oh, OK, well, who's Frankie? This is Frankie. It's right here, Sway. No.

But who's Frankie in the show? Oh. That's her husband. She's like, no, that's Ricky. Forre's like, uh-uh. Frankie's his real name. Then they show him on the screen, it's like, uh, not Desi, Ricky.

Or does. Just get to see, Porsche still has a few tricks up her sleeves. Um, I think that Lucy was blonde still. She was great. Yeah. And then Ashley and Giselle are talking about portion Candace and and if they're like good, and she also says they're not. But they seem to be okay.

And Portia tells us that she thinks Candace is a fun girl, and she just thinks that she has to play housewife. And she's like, so I'll play it with you too. I mean, how you doing, girl? But is that, when Portia said that, did you interpret that as like Candace is always on for camera? Is that what that means to play housewife? Yeah, I think that's what she met.

But they got, they fought with each other, because Portia stood up for Monique, right, in the fight? Because they had that after, what was that show called, the Bravo Breakdown or whatever it was called? Oh, right, right. Yeah, with Chazelle and Kate Chastain. Yeah, Chapram, Bravo, Chapar. And she took, yes, and she took Monique side.

And then they also had continued beef on their girls' trip together. So then Drew asks Mary, she's like, so who are we tonight? And Mary is like, I'm Wonder Woman. I just made her up in the car on my way here. And Drew's like, oh, I thought you were Michael Jackson because she's like wearing like a marching band thing. She just made up. She says I just made her up on the way here.

I don't even know. It's Wonder Woman. I made her up. And then Kim goes up to Derek. She's gonna be huge. But when you see Derek Jay, this is, I love that they included Derek Jay.

And so Kim goes up to Derek Jay. She says, What you've been doing, motherfucker? Which is so Kim. He's like, I literally was just talking about, you know, I was just like,

I was like, TV does that bitch no fucking justice. She goes, oh, thanks, baby. Thanks so much, motherfucker. It's great to see you. M.

Congratulations. You've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says, part two.

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