Watch What Crappens - #3541 RHOSLC S7E1: Homegoing

Episode Date: September 17, 2026

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City returns with the women gathering around Mary amidst immense tragedy.  It’s a highly emotional premiere that promises cast unity, but breadcrumbs of drama remind us that we’ll be back to petty squabbles soon enough. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, sign up for our free weekly newsletter and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to Watch What Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the irrepressible and joyful Ronnie Karam. Don't try to repress me. You will not be repressed. How are you doing there, Ronnie? Hi, good. How are you doing? I'm in A-Cast, but I moved from the glamorous studio to like a little meeting booth.

It kind of looks like prison. I don't know. I think it looks cool. That's cool, like, nice, neutral gray background. It's better than mine. A little officey background. Yeah. In the childhood bedroom, still a recording from there. Today will be my last day from the childhood bedroom.

And it's the same with the day after. I know. You know, we always love that hotel Wi-Fi. You never know what you're going to get. A little sketchpad in here. Look, someone made a palm tree. Well, well, well. craft secrets, if you will.

It's just a fellow, maybe it's a fellow ACAS podcaster. Like, well, we know, now we know the next episode of Iris Podcasts. It could be about palm trees. I think I'm the only podcaster. He's like, can I use your meeting booths to record in? We record

20 hours. Whenever they schedule me here, they're like, okay, well, we've got you in there for an hour and a half. I was like, oh, this is watch a crap. It's no hour and a half here. Okay, it's going to be six hours. That's correct. meeting room. Well, today is a very big day. Today, we have the, we're talking about the season premiere of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Before we get into that, we're going on tour in a few

weeks, like basically in just over two weeks somehow. We are starting our In the Mix tour at Kansas City, Kansas City Mo, then Chicago. That's going to be October 3rd and October 4th, respectively. And then we're going to Minneapolis and Detroit later in October. We'll also be going to Philadelphia, D.C., Dallas, Austin, Houston, Nashville, Clearwater, Fort Lauderdale, San Francisco, Salt Lake City, Denver, Charleston, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Toronto, Boston. And finally, New York City for the Golden Crap is February 25th. That's the end of our tour.

And we will be celebrating 15 years of podcasting by the time this tour ends. So go to watchwackpins.com, get your tickets. But we're definitely flagging high alert. go get your tickets for Kansas City and Chicago, because that's coming up super fast. Normally, we like to give several months heads up, but why not be crazy and give you guys just several days heads up? So here we are.

Go check out those shows. We'll see you there on the road. We're excited. But for more... How long it took me to draw Beuler? There he is. Let's see, wait. You just drew Buehler like that right now?

Yeah, some little beels. That is. First of all, that was really good. It's also really cute. You should, you should make that, why don't you make, scan that in and make it into a Crapin's T-shirt. A be a bealer. Someone to come in here and be like, well, it's not a palm tree. It is a beeler. I wonder who's in here. I'm like, I'm looking for like a chotchky on my desk to show, to show the world. Be like, and look at what I drew, but I, I, you've got your air conditioner behind you from child I think that that's all we really need. I love to see that a couple of times a year whenever you're home visiting.

True. I got air conditioner. I got the printer. I mean, I've got childhood stuff here. There's a photo of me as Dan Rather than the school play over there. You want me to go grab that photo and put it up on the screen? Yes. Can you vamp for seven seconds?

Yeah, sure. Why not? Let's guess. Yeah. So I'm just in here drawing and I'm watching people because it's a glass booth. So I'm watching all the people who work here. Okay. You guys want to see?

You just saved a bunch of ACAS people from being ragged on. Oh my gosh. That is so cute. We have this is a fourth grade school play. Starting here we have, this is, oops, this is Chris Worth. That's me. That's Randy Wilson. That's Alyssa Friedman.

And the back, that's Arvin Phenombalam. Wow. That's so good. What was the school play? you were playing Dan Rather. I think it was like about like fairy tales and like I was like, I was Dan Rather and I was like investigating some like the big bad wolf or something like that. And Randy was playing Diane Sawyer.

I remember that. So we were we were representing CBS. I was Dan Rather. She was Diane Sawyer. I don't remember who Alyssa was, but she was obviously part of the media. She was part of the press corps. And Chris, I think Chris was Walter Cronkite.

And I don't remember who. Arvin may not have been a media member. Arvin may have just been in the background while we were the press corps. Well, I'm shiny, and so I'm wiping my face. There's also a photo of Geraldine Ferraro downstairs, but that's my brother. That's a photo of my brother with Geraldine Ferraro. This is the Salt Lake City premiere, and I think a lot of us were wondering how is Salt Lake City going to handle the the tragedy of Robert Jr.

Because as we all know, he passed just days before they started shooting. It's such a heavy thing. And I think the show did a very nice job. I think they honored him very beautifully. And it was a very lovely episode. You know, this show is known. The last season, it started to teeter into silliness and, like, on-screen gags and, like, the stuff that always makes me concerned about like oh no they are they starting to run out of material because they have to do a lot of like silliness on screen so it was actually very I really enjoy that we just actually stayed present with women and like they weren't trying to be super funny obviously they couldn't do that anyway I thought it was a very nice episode what did you think well I started laughing when you said teetering into silliness because this is Salt Lake City I mean it's the silliest one on bravo but I know what you mean like with the well

here's a wacky gag. Let's put some 80s font up while they do 80s things. Yes. Yeah, I thought they handled it really well. I was crying. We're doing this early because, you know, we're both in the city. We've got a lot going on this week episode-wise. We've tried to fit one in early. So I woke up this morning to take notes, and I was just in the bed crying, you know, because, you know, obviously death.

And then, I don't know, the whole thing is just. so sad. I thought they dealt with it really well. I do worry because it's a season of Salt Lake City, and this is the funniest show on TV. And so I, like, I literally don't come here to feel things. That said, things happen in real life, and, you know, sometimes you do have to feel things. And it was, it was just brutal. And I felt so bad for myself for having to want. No, I'm just kidding. I felt so bad for Mary. I mean, the whole situation is just awful. And it opens with Mary. talking to her cousin, right? Yeah, this was actually a heartbreaking little scene that they put in here.

It's right when Robert has gotten out of jail and she's saying, you know, oh, I'm just so glad to have him back and he's in his room. But, you know, at least she's sober now. And the important thing is keeping him sober. I'm just so thrilled to have him back. And, you know, it's like three months or a few weeks later or whatever it is. Yeah. That was really heartbreaking to see.

her optimism after he got back from jail and he was telling her cousin Joe, like, I'm clean. And so even though it was rough, it's like, okay, like, we can, like, this fresh start, like, he's home. We can take care of him. And so then it fades to black. And we see it's like three weeks later. And they show all this footage of sort of clouds gathering, dark clouds. It's just, And then it's just sort of, we go through each one of the housewives as they sort of recall what happened when they found out. And they're all, they're all devastated. And it's, it's real, you know. I mean, I think it's, I think it's, it's just a, it's a horrible situation. And so it starts with Angie and she's saying that she was like, you know, she was with Elektra and then, you know, Mary called her and then, you know, her heart sank. And then Angie called her. And then Angie called her. And then Angie called. Heather and Heather says she could just hear from Angie's voice that like something terrible had happened and then Whitney and Justin were crying and I mean what's so fucked up about this show is this is like truly one of the saddest things that's ever been filmed on the

housewives ever like this scene and it's just like it's gut wrenching and they cut to Whitney and she's crying obviously because it's terrible and then she goes I was wondering how can this be real and I'm like god damn it why did you have to say that Why are you making me laugh right now? It's still Salt Lake City, you know? I was thinking that as they were doing these scenes, because, you know, like you said, it's a touching thing. But at the same time, it's so camp and so Salt Lake City,

it's like, okay, well, what do you think, Lisa? Well, John was in the other room, and then I heard, Oh. And I said, give me a glass of water. And then I just started screaming. Oh, ho! Oh, ha, ho, ho, ho. The little song like,

you're like, we don't need the accents. We don't need the, you don't need the choir. Yeah, they can't help themselves. But, you know, it just goes through all the ladies talking about how sad all of this is. And then we go to Angie's house, and Angie's standing in the middle of her gigantic kitchen, being sad with just those big gold ball things above her. And people start coming over to. grieve, you know.

Yeah. And she's arranged when someone passes. Yeah, so she's got, she's putting together all these grapes on a plate, like lots of Greek food and everything. I am Greek still. And Whitney says, Whitney announces

that she's, I've learned the hard way that times like this is not the time for me to drink. And Heather's like, really? And I got caught on camera publicly being wasted and making an ass out of myself after an entire season. of calling someone an alcoholic.

Which she doesn't say, but that's what's unsaid to the rest of us. So Lisa arrives. I'm a new person now and I've changed because I got caught out in public. Let's be real. It's Whitney 2.0. So Lisa shows up and she's like, hey! Everyone's arriving very seriously. She's like, hey!

And Angie's go... Hi, you guys. Listen, I know you're surprised that I could find this time in my schedule, but I did. And she's like, let us be nice to Lisa today. I know, I thought that was funny. So then Lisa's like, I keep taking my jacket on and off because it's like, it's like hot and then it's cold and it's hot. And she's like, well, it's called the weather or it's also called perimenopause. Just kidding.

And she's like, no, I'm just like, no. I had my lab done. Yeah, no, it's not. It's not that. It's not Perry or anything. I had my lap's done. Yeah, I'm actually on my period right now. I'm on my period.

My period, not on Pots. They're like, okay. And Heather goes, yeah, I can last till you're 70, Lisa. She's like, stupid Lisa. Wait, I tell the other girls on their franchises about this. So they all gather around, and they are, Um, they're sharing more stories. And Angie, Angie tells this story that's so sweet. She says that she, um, she and Electra brought stuff over to Mary's house for Christmas. And Robert came downstairs and told

Electra that she had nice eyes and, and Angie was like, he was, I mean, like, I thought, what a sweet, love, what a sweetheart. And then they start reflecting that, you know, um, Robert was, okay, what did you do over there? I'm not going to ask her over here. I'm not trying to tell this very sad. And I'm like, oh, I need to get comfortable in this chair. It's like, oh, I need to get comfortable in this chair. It's like, oh, I'm talking about death.

Yeah, very sad. Like, they're reflecting about how Robert was her only child, and that's just made him even more her world. They just can't even imagine. And then Angie says that Mary will, you know, she keeps saying, oh, well, Robert's with God. He's with God. It's good. But then she'll look out the window and say, I'm never going to see him again. It's just like, each.

passing reflection is just heart-wrenching to listen to. And they're just, you know. It is. And I, you know, I put that stuff to the side in my real life, even though it's been happening in my real life on a personal level. Well, I guess that it's your real life. But, you know, there's part of me that's thinking about that. And, you know, my own mom's death. So I'm getting upset over that. But I'm also repressing it the same way that I try to do with everything.

And so I was just, I mean, it was just like such beautiful gay repression because I was sitting there watching and I was like, this is so sad. But God, everybody looks so pretty. You know, and when they kept cutting to everybody, I'm like, oh my God, her new face looks so good. And like, her new fillers look so good. And Bronwyn's outfit is so beautiful. She's wearing this like multicolored, ombray blue floor-length sweater thing. And I was like, God, do you guys really know how to grieve? Like every single one of you looks fucking amazing.

Yeah, they really stepped up at Gramey. I don't look like that really ever about Jesus, especially grieving. It's like I'm walking out with like donut crumbs on my face and, you know, like, buggers dropping out my nose and stuff. And you guys are like wearing floor-length ombre? Like, what the hell? Yeah, I loved actually Angie's dress. She's wearing this, like, a black dress, but it sort of was structural.

And it was both, like, respectful to the moment, but also. like looks great. So, yeah, they're just sharing more about, like, you know, Bronwyn offered to get Mary an outfit for the funeral. And Mary's like, no, no, you look good because that's what he would want because he loved clothes so much. And so Heather's like, you know, we all have the shared concern that we have definitely taken each other for granted in our sisterhood.

And probably have been very careless with the bonds that we have, you know, she's doing her two-finger point. Like, we're being careless with the bonds that we have. But something like this should remind us of how fragile our relationships are. In these moments, we're going to need each other to go after Lisa together as a group. Who else is with me? And someone's like, oh, you know, Lisa's been dropping off stuff for Mary to share. And Lisa's like, yeah, you know, like in times like this, you really need to remind

people, chicken nuggets from Wendy's and like feed a tequila. That's where's that. It's like really important to understand. You're welcome. I just dropped off Mary a framed autograph this morning. I hope she appreciated that. Can I say something? I cry when I talk because my heart is heavy right now for a lot of reasons. And we all have things that we need to work on for real. And I have things I want to apologize for, and then I just cuts to Meredith, be like, and Lisa be like, my head is tilted, my eyes

are wide and looking to my shoulder. I will not be discussing this right now, but I will glaring to, and I know you're not going to use somebody's child's death to get out of something awful that you did to me at Bravo.

I mean, Whitney does have a lot of things to apologize for, but right now is not the time or the ass. So Whitney... Because she knows, Whitney's just going to try and come in here and brush everything off. Like, this is sad time. Sorry, now we're moving on. Like, no, you just literally were on somebody's ass a whole year for being an alcoholic. This is going to need to at least wait until lunch in two episodes when your ass can be properly ripped into. Okay. That's right. Thank you. Talk to think rescinded.

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. There's like, we're going to put our stuff aside. We're going to rally for Mary. And they're like, yeah. And then the choir was like, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Like, sort of saying, like, yeah, good luck, bitches. You're not getting along.

This is still Salt Lake City. So then we go to Lisa's house, and she is putting butter on bread, and you can tell she doesn't do this often. I'll just say. I was like, she really is mourning. Why are you putting that on with the landline phone? Is this how it works? Hey, hey, dog, maybe Henry will share some of his steak with you, you know?

So Henry enters, and now Henry is like a young teenager, so he now has, he's entering his puffy teenage hair phase, but it sort of looks like Harry Hamlin's hair from, like, you know, 1984. So he's got this big sort of center-parted puff hair, and he's like, hey, I'm Henry. At least he's like, oh, my God, how was craving grilled cheese? So I'm going to try making it, which I dare to dream, Lisa, dare to dream. I hope you're able to find the way in the strength, the fortitude, and the stamina to make it through the complicated recipe that is grilled cheese. Also, I don't know how well it's going to work, because the bread is very thick and you're putting it on a frying pan. Like, you're going to have to put that into an oven of some kind.

Or cover. You have to cover it with a lid. Oh, yeah, that's true. She ain't going to do that, though. You know, she's not. But I was worried that Lisa was going to do another season where she's like, look, I cook. Like, I totally know how to do this. Do you remember when I made asparagus? I made that one time. Yeah. I was like, please, we don't need this from you. But then she was like, hey, John, John, I don't know how to turn on that stuff. that burner thing, could you do that? Good luck with this grilled cheese. So John's like, well, she's then like grating cheese with a cheese grater.

And John's like, whoa, you do get dangerous with that cheese grater. It goes, oh my gosh, it terrifies me. I'm like trying not to be afraid. There's like the scariest thing I've ever done. Oh, my God. My figures are so close to the crater. Oh, my God, John. It is terrifying.

I mean, I've sliced myself on stuff a million times and burn myself. I don't know why she's even allowed in the kitchen. Just stay out of there. Okay. So, Jack's like, Mom, what are you doing in the kitchen? What's the occasion? Oh, no, that's Jack.

So he's like, Mom, what are you doing? I've been away, mother. How is it going in the kitchen? It is so nice to be having a lovely home-cooked meal in America with new hair, non-mushrum-top hair. And Henry, Henry's like, what's up, legend? He's like, what's up, legend? I'm like, oh gosh, I need to leave this scene.

So Jack is like, hey, can I get one of those without goat cheese? No, you like goat cheese, remember Jack? He's like, fudge, goat cheese. Wait, are you saying you want goat cheese with fudge, or are you saying you don't want goat cheese at all? I can't keep up. How about your date? I was telling dad I get conflicted when you bring girls home.

It's really weird. shouldn't do that to me. And John's like, just because it's been so many. He's like, yeah, legend. Henry thinks he should be doing what you're doing at 14 and 21. Henry's 14.

He wants to have lots of girls around. So Lisa says, Jack went on a mission for two years and like he's been home for six months and it's hard to have an adult person living with you, especially one that like lived on his own for two years in like a city that had Michelin restaurants in South America.

And it just like, it's like, Jack, like stop bringing girls over. Like, you don't even know them. Like, why do I need to know them? Yeah, it's so weird, like being with Jack as an adult now, especially since he's lived his own life, you know? Like, he's got his own things that he does every day now. Like, every morning, knock, knock, knock, ding dong. I'm like, what? And he's like, can we tell you about our spiritual leader, Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

I'm like, oh my God. Enough. You like goat cheese. Don't you remember? Come back to me. What happened to the days of enjoying Chevro? So... There's my boy with a goat cheese.

Am I right? He's still in there. I know he is. So Lisa says, I told Henry, you're not allowed to date. And Henry goes, I'm not dating. I'm just kissing them.

Legend Oh, legend. Yo, he got close. He got to close that, mom. Ledge. By the way, if anyone is wondering if there is an earthquake happening here, there is not.

My laptop is propped up on the trash can. A little wobbly over here. Perfect. Me, Henry, will always be baby gorgeous. And their baby G. Want some other ladies, baby, G. Was that dirty?

That sounded disrespectful kind of the way I said it, but I didn't mean it like that. It sounds like Baby G like wants to get some girls goat cheese. That also didn't sound right. Hey. That's a non-sexual way to say this. Yeah. Hey, stop. Hey, girls, stop calling Henry.

I want all the girls to know. I'm monitoring his phone and you're on speakerphone and I hear everything. And if you come over, you're going to have to eat some goat. smell better. Sorry, that's the way we roll. So the kids try the grilled cheese and they're like, oh, my, actually, mom, this is, this is pretty,

it's cheese and bread and butter. What is there to complain about? So now the kids who are just like, yeah, you know, I don't date the ladies, I just kiss him, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, a high five, legend, I have five. Okay, we're off to church. I'm going to go to church now. Okay, have fun. Have fun at church.

So then, Lisa, and John talk about Mary and Robert Jr. and how sad it is. And Lisa's saying, you know, he was so brave by being so honest, you know, national television about what he was going through. And we need to have a safe space, John. And he's like, yeah, I've been thinking, I don't know that I can put it into words properly. But last year, remember that time I was mean to you at lunch. I know you're still harboring that. So I just wanted to say, I've learned my lesson and whatever. I've learned is that Whitney should probably drink less. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much, John, for saying that. Do you have anything else you want to add? Everyone loves goat cheese.

You'd be crazy not to. Oh my God. Thank you for saying that, John. Yeah. Why do you think you were in a bad place last year? Well, everything was going wrong for me. I felt like it didn't seem like anything was working out and you've got everything working for you, and I guess I was jealous. I'm like a man. Can I have some of that luck come on to me? Oh, John, like if you're emotional honesty right now, you really are a safe refuge. You know, there's like a lot of pressure in the church to be perfect. And like, the last two years, John had like lofty business goals and he had like two deals that were like taking so long and like just made him spiral. But like now he's not spiraling anymore because you remember that he loves goat cheese. It was really difficult for John, you know, like he had a couple of businesses that didn't really go well, like Fresh Wolf, you know.

It's really hard when you're trying to get people to moisturize your face, but all they want to do is rub their skin with the gorgeous chicken fingers and french fries you're selling from Wendy's. You know, at least he like came to terms with that. He's like, well, you do so much for our family. The way when we come to you with our problems, you just look on your phone and say, hold on one second. just need to finish sending this text, and then we wait for 10 minutes, and then you forgot that we were waiting for you, and you go to the other room, that does so much for us. And I was struggling to hold on to get that win, and I just, I can't say sorry enough. Because, yeah, he really is.

Not a winner. Oh, sorry, because what? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I thought it was a period. It should have been. Yeah. I feel getting mine.

By the way. Yeah. John was really upset. And you know that he's really groveling because he's like, wow, you know, I think that everybody watching this right now understands how good at Lisa is at communication. And they cut to the flashback of last season where he's like, yeah, like, we need to communicate. She's like, I'm really great with that. Like, I'm really great with listening. And he's like, yeah, right. Yeah, but they hug. Because she's like, John doesn't apologize at all. Like,

when he does, he really means it. Like, when he says, I'm sorry that you felt like you had to throw my watch out the window. I'm like, thank you. But him being vulnerable makes me feel that way, like, way closer to him. There's, like, only one person whose opinion I care about. And it's his. Just kidding. It's not. It's mine. It's the opinion that I give him to say. That's the opinion I care about. So they hug, and then we go to Pickleball. And it's Bronwyn and Whitney, of course, arriving to play the most basic ass clocky that fucking sound of pickleball.

Even the sound bothers me. And yes, I've been to play all you pickleball lovers. Okay, I get it. I went to play with my friend and let me tell you something, it hurt.

Was this pickleball or did it wind up being Paddle? Because that's happened to us a few times on Bravo, where we're like, oh, it's a pickleball, but then it's paddle, paddle, pedal, pedal, paddle. I don't know, because paddle ball. Paddle ball has the thing where you hit. it up against the wall, right? Like the glass wall.

I don't know. Life is hard. I really don't know. So they're girlfriends now. Guys, they're like soups close. They got really close in the off season. And Whitney's like, yeah, life has been really heavy. One thing I know that will always make me full better is the exercise with my friends. When we're in New York, we really bonded. And now we're playing paddleball.

Now we're together. For real. I felt I felt so bad because they show like just footage of people playing paddle ball, I mean a pickleball like in these courts. And there's this like this one random girl hits the ball into a net. You think, okay, whatever. It's like, okay, that's kind of embarrassing. They chose your shot to be on the show. And then Bronwyn actually goes, oh my God, that girl just hit the net.

I feel better because I feel like that's what we'll be doing. Stupid. Stupid pickleball player. I was like, man, this lady was just trying to have to play a game in privacy. thing I want everyone to notice in this scene are how terrible the extras are. I know. Whitney and I have noticed that other people have noticed that we notice each other. There's a little zazu with Whitney and I.

Or I should say, Zazazoo. And there's like, you know, something that just sings up about us. So they're trying to allude to the fact that there may be some sort of like lesbian chemistry between them, to which I am going to groan because I know it's just going to be them. This is going to be Andy. Andy is going to be having wet dreams over this. Oh my God, I can't wait to ask this for 15 minutes on the reunion.

Do you guys ever have sex? Do you guys ever finger? Do you guys ever lick each other's vaginas? Tell me everything. Yeah, but this is this show, so they'll rescind, you know? Because it's like when they did the thing last year where they're like, oh, my God. You know, like, why would I sit around waiting for a child? Like, if I want to date somebody, I'm going to date somebody.

Yeah, me too. What's the point in being in a closed relationship when you can be in an open relationship? sister and then at the region they're like what open relationships that is absolutely not what we were talking about you're talking about um so

they are playing they're playing pickleball but they're also uh problem's also talking about Todd and so while they're playing she's like uh when else would you talk about your senior citizen

husband it's like let's find the most senior citizen anything we could do can we can we Can we do a scene at water aerobics? I use that one up on Orange County, guys. Can we really, we've got a sponsorship deal with pickleball. Can we just do that? So Whitney goes, Woody goes, are you going to bring anyone to the service?

It's not the prom. Why is she asking? Is this like the climax of Back to the Future? Like, why are you asking who she's going to bring to the funeral? Don't accidentally invite your dad because he's young and Hot. So Bronwyn says... Wasn't Alex P. Keaton kind of in love with his mom?

Or was his mom in love with him? Mom was in love with him. Mom was in love with him by accident. She was like, oh, my God, Calvin Klein. So Bronwyn... Bromwin's saying that she doesn't want to go by herself and that Todd offered to join her, but he's not going to join.

So that's nice of him. And when he's like, wait, What does Todd think that you are right now? A human. Oh. He didn't think you're like a robot or like a box of fruit roll-ups or like a mattress. What does he think you are? Well, you know, this whole time he's been wanting to talk and figure it out, and I'm just not,

Ow! I hit my thumb. Look, when I hit my thumb, it cracked open. Brown one's like, the power ball. Okay. So they go inside, they, like, she gets bandaged up or whatever, and they're sitting inside, sweating. And Bron was like, okay, back to me. So I'm always the one that's like, we're not going to see each other.

And it's like over the, you know, it's over. We're separated. And him and I, it's like, as a duo, we had night fun banter. And we're good in front of other people. But when he was he and I alone, it wasn't banter. It was an argument. Or I just didn't say anything. And I just got tired of arguing, so I just stopped saying things.

And Bronman's like, so I surprised Todd. I'm surprised that's not, didn't do anything from my 40th, my 40th Bob Day. And, you know, there was no gift, no party, no trimming up with the Bob, making it look extra nice. And it's my first birthday since my dad passed. I'll just add that in there. And that was really the death of it. That was it. That was it. That's valid. You were born with a Bob and somebody should be there to celebrate Bob's birthday. Sometimes you don't need words. You need actions. Yeah. You know, while I was married to Todd, I mean, you're still married to Todd, by the way. But there were times, you know, I was angry and I wanted to talk about it, but it wasn't beneficial when you're trying to work through it and stay in it. And I've just realized that I need space with Todd. I just need space. And no, I'm not getting a divorce right now because I don't feel like I need a divorce.

And also, Todd has squirled his money away. He's not an idiot. So I will still be with Todd and have a really hot boyfriend on the side. And we see a picture of her boyfriend and, oh. Yeah. Brandon. So, when he's like, So, with the Brandon of it all,

when I met him at Sundance, it seemed like he was like, don't tell anyone. But then, a week later, he was like all over the internet. And she's like, mm-hmm, yeah, mm-hmm, well, the new thing is really fun.

And I can feel myself smiling as I'm talking about it. And he is darling, and he is great. And clearly, as everyone knows, when you're recently divorced and you wind up dating a model,

that's going to be a forever relationship. You know, Brandon Good, this gentleman, I've been seeing, it's 32. We've spent all of New York, sorry, New Year's Eve together. I saw N. Y and said New York. So, I mean, it was in New York because we were Fashion Week. We did that together. We've been so many places together. A friend said to me, you guys kissed on New Year's Eve?

I mean, you could say that. You could say a lot more. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. I'm in this phase of if something feels right, I do it, and if it doesn't. I stop when he's like, wow, and he's not bad to look at. It's like, I'm aware of that. So we have talked me to death. So what are we going to do about you? You've got about 30 seconds before we start talking about me again. Well, obviously, I have something to apologize for with Meredith and Lisa.

Oh, was it that you were accusing Meredith of being an alcoholic all season and Lisa of Lisa of calling blogs that you had no proof for except proof that you made up from a YouTuber. And she's like, no, it's because I said that they were bitches at BravoCon and they were filming me. And then we go to a drag brunch in Brea, California. Oh, it was the drag brunch. You're right. I keep saying BravoCon.

It was the drag brunch. And so at this drag brunch, Whitney's on stage and goes, Meredith is a fucking bitch. I hate her. And then some lady goes, is Lisa? as big of a cut fitness person as she comes across on TV. I actually support cut fitnesses even if I don't like them. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, that was a very poor choice for me to make.

I was at a drag brunch, and so they were egging me on. This is what drag queens do. This is what they do. It's also drag queens fault, okay? I'm never... courage. I'm never going to a drag brunch again. From now on, drag dinner

only, because then you won't get egged on, because eggs are for brunch. Like, um, other way, I have to have extra dinner as well. Oh, no. Wait a second. Is there any meal that doesn't involve

eggs? They can really be served any time. Oh, man. I'm so sorry. I don't even know what's happening to me anymore. Oh, so I decided that alcohol is not serving me. I'm serving it. So you're a waitress now?

Huh? Never mind. You're serving alcohol. Yeah. So can you get me a drink? No, what do you mean? I'm serving it. Did you mean to say you're serving IT? Are you into tech now? What? Okay, no, I should never have gone down that path. Huh?

I went from a social drinker to using alcohol to cope with my struggles at home. I was like, oh God, Whitney is going to pull out this whole thing now. I'm so sure. I'm not giving this to Whitney. I'm sorry. This is like suddenly, like I got in trouble, so now suddenly I'm going to have this storyline where everybody has to be nice to me because I'm going to talk about drinking. girl please i don't believe you for two seconds that you are stopping drinking or anything and by the way i don't care i'm not even judging you for i'm just saying take responsibility for the shit you were doing i hate when people come on here and they're like but it's because i maybe drink too much and now i'm thinking about it and then soft music has to play and then we all have to be like well whitney's making an effort so let's just get off whitney's ass no yeah this is what whitney you should never have gone to that drag brunch. That was the problem. By the way, I have to say...

Florida is trying to tell you guys. I fully 100% support the drag arts. They're fabulous. I personally have zero interest in going to a drag brunch. Only because it has nothing to do to drag. It doesn't. It could be like any, I don't want to go to any sort of something brunch. It's too much. It's too much. I cannot, I cannot have anyone on a microphone while I'm eating. my brunch. Cannot do that.

Like, let me have my eggs. Any kind of brunch. You don't want any kind of like crappin's brunch or just any brunch where they're, you know, talk. There's a performance. I just want brunch to be like me with my friends and I'm quiet and I'm drinking my coffee.

I'm coming to life and I'm eating my eggs or avocado toast or French toast or whatever it is. I would not, it's not, it's actually probably not even so much the performers or the production. It's probably just the other people at the brunch. There's a lot of... I'd be like, no, I'm gone. You know, I go to Drag Brinch

fairly often a few times a year at least, and I take my nieces and my sister, and they ask to go every time they come in town. And then they're like, oh, my God, I cannot believe they're using this language, my sister. It's like, that is inappropriate. I'm like, we're at a drag brunch. She's like, but there are children here.

Like, there are children in a drag brunch. What are you going to do? And yell at the parents, not the drag queen, but they love it. They ask to go every time. But I will say drag brunch is dangerous because you're sitting there and you're eating. And it's, you know, it's like breakfast foods, so it's breads and potatoes and, well, it's my whole life anyway. But then you're running the risk of, like, being told off in the middle of a bite of something. And everyone's looking at you while the drag queen's giving you shit on the stage.

So for that reason, it's, it's pretty dangerous. Yeah. I just don't want, I don't, first of all, I also just generally speaking, if I'm eating food, I don't, I don't. want, like, I don't like, like, live music or anything. I just don't. Yeah, that makes sense. I generally just don't like live music. And, like, unless I'm going to an actual proper concert, but, like, when people say,

oh, like, there's a band that plays at this bar, I'm like, see you later. Have fun. No, I get it. But I'm an old dinner theater queen, so I don't like people having dinner while I'm trying to perform. You know what I mean? It's like the opposite. I would hate it.

I can't imagine what it must be like. How dare you. But anyway, also, one more thing I don't need at Drag Brunch, Whitney. Yeah, I don't need Whitney at Drag Brunch. Why? Why? I think this is the underlying problem we all need to discuss. Drag queens, I get that we need to get people in the seats. Not Whitney, okay? Yeah, Whitney.

It's like the furthest thing from drag. Yes. Seriously. I mean, I will go to a drag brunch? If someone says, man, will you come to a drag brunch? I'm like, sure, I'll go. But just know, I will be on the inside saying, this is too much. It's too much, too much. I'll be, I'll honestly turn it to Vicky, which is very sad. But again, it's nothing to do. There's nothing to do the drag. It's nothing to do. It's just like any sort of brunch. If someone was doing like a, like, I would do an Ina Garden brunch. If I had a garden garden was up there and she was talking and we were having brunch, like, at a table, at a ticket event, I would do that. Because I could deal with, like, an Iron Garden level of energy. But anything else, really, I don't. I can't. Too much for breakfast.

I can't do it. Commercials. Here comes one right now. Well, obviously, I was carrying around fillings for Lisa and Meredith, but there's other things going on under the surface of my marriage to Justin. Doly do. Dolly do. doodooly do you see her being like

Justin, that hurt my feelings. Doodoo doodoo doodoo. I do not like what I did or said and I felt really bad about it. I'm hopeful that apologies will be accepted. Lisa will probably be more receptive than Meredith.

I just wish we had to cut to Meredith being like Yeah, wouldn't you really trying to launch her separation storyline that's just not catching on already. It's the first episode, first scene of it. I still can tell you, it's not going to catch on.

Yeah, it's not working. Speaking of things not catching on, we are now going to go to Heather's house to learn about her love life that has suddenly arrived out of nowhere. So, Georgia is there. She's in from school, and Heather's making brownies, and she's like, do you even know how to make brownies in this sisterhood? Not the kind of brownies you're used to eating. These are just normal brownies. Aren't I a cool mom referencing the fact that you... might be eating marijuana brownies. What am I even allowed to say that? Of course I can,

because I'm a bad Mormon on bookshelves now. In Mormonism, you're not allowed to have marijuana, but I've escaped in so of my children, and now they could possibly be having marijuana brownies at college. Suck it, Joseph Smith. When you come home from college, George, it's time for me to assess what life skills I've blessed you with, because if you can't make brownies, how are you going to be able to keep a man? Ha, ha, ha. But seriously, do you know how to pick out a belaro jacket? It's very important for weddings. But seriously, I am making these brownies for my man who's coming over in about five minutes. Scram, am I right? This is my first time living without children, and I love it. It's amazing.

It's important that they live independently and that they've got it all on them. You know, they can do it. They need to learn that they can do it too. But they don't feel it unless you push them out of the nest and then deadbolted and chain it and move away. So then they decide to FaceTime Annabelle, one of the daughters, one of Heather's other daughters. And Annabelle's like, you guys are so beautiful. Did you lose your voice from kissing lots of people? You're a bad Mormon, too. Available on shelves.

Not my daughter, of course, but she'll have the book soon enough. What do you have planned tonight, Georgia? Sex. Just kidding. I never would have been able to say that. a few years ago. And then Heather's saying she's going up.

Because of Mormonism and also because she would have been really underage. I guess that was an inappropriate thing to say, but I don't even care anymore because I'm not Mormon. Guess what, guys? Everyone in the audience last year said, Heather never shares anything. When was the last time we even saw her go on a date with someone? Well, guess what? I'm going

on a date tonight. And then it cuts to a guy on a motorcycle driving through this, you know, the tough streets of a suburban enclave. And is like, I was like, please just tell me this is a burrito arriving from Chipotle. Just like, it's just postmates. Postmates. People think it's crazy that I suddenly have a boyfriend, but let me tell you, there's nothing fishy about it.

I met him when I hired him off Angie to fix things around my office. Merica, it's surreal to say it out loud, but I'm officially off the market. I mean, I never was really on. I tried to be on. They wouldn't let me. I was just at the gates. I was like, I'm open for business. But then I met Tripapa.

And when we first opened Beauty Lab and we needed someone to help us with how to open a faucet or turn on lights, here he came. He was a man and he fixed things the way men do. Tripp is a very bad Mormon. And when he left, he was 17. So we're horrible Mormons together. It's so hot. He takes care of me.

He takes out the garbages. I don't know if you've ever heard it said that way, but that's how he does it. All of them. He fixes everything around the house. He doesn't sleep over. We just hang and bang. But when he's at the house, he's quite useful, especially on Big Garbage's Day. Can you believe it?

Okay. Girls, girls, let's do the math. December, January, February, March. Okay, is everyone still doing the math? Yes, Mom, you've counted four months. Oh, good. I was getting scary. I thought I might have to ask Tripp to come in and help me because he's a man.

Well, so I met Tripp in 2016, and you're worth the wait, that's for sure. He's like, yeah. When I first met Tripp, he only had one P in his name. Then we started dating. It was just so fast and tumultuous, and I caught him texting other girls. He was saying, sure, be there in about 10 minutes. Do you have a ladder? Should I bring the one in from my trunk?

And I felt so disrespected. But then, you know, the show was coming back, and I needed some stuff fixed, and also a date on this show finally. So I said, are you up for it, Tripp? It's a foundation that we're building. Quite literally, you're doing it. Oh, sorry, Tripp. That was you who said that. Trip, why don't you say it?

It's a foundation that we're building. Oh, God. rebuilding. We burn it to the ground and we rebuild it right back up, just like that Ellie Goulding song, Burn, Burn, Burn. Well, I think this situation was really worth the way, don't you? Oh, are we calling this a situation now? When are we married? Yeah, you're my situation. And then Georgia comes in and she's like, hey, you guys, Georgia, do you have a notebook that I told you to bring into the room? Oh, that's crazy. She was like, yeah, because you can't enter the gay family unscathed.

What are we? Back at Drag Brunch? Mother. So Georgia is like, she's like, to describe my mom's dating history before Tripaba, it would be dry as the Utah Desert. I think that's a good metaphor. You're doing great. Georgia.

What kind of questions are you going to ask, Tripp? And she's like, well, you have a bad boy energy. I saw your motorcycle through. the window. I need to make sure you're actually the guy for my mom. Okay. Please, we call it a hog. He's got a big hog, Georgia. Well, Georgia met him in December because we were all together, all the girls, we were staring at a light switch thinking, how do we do this thing? Then he walked in, he put his finger under it and flicked it up, and I thought, wow, he fixed it. Then he took out the garbagees. I was asking how to fix

So Lightbulbs is, and he was great at it. George is like, here's my question. Okay, I wrote this down in my notebook. You're Swifty, right? He's like, uh, Swifty means Taylor Swift. He's like, yeah, I know. Listen, it's gay enough being on the housewives. I don't really know if I'm ready to go that far yet.

You better commit or I'm breaking up with you again, Tripp. Okay, well, so the Swifty thing wasn't true. Okay, number two, have you passed the gray cat test? And Tripapa is like, uh, I don't know if he loves me that much. And they have a little cat named Gray. Um, and I don't know if that's like a Taylor Swift reference because Taylor Swift had a cat on the Emmys last night and it was a whole thing.

So Georgia is like, she's like, okay, number three, you guys met in 2016. Did you not? And he's like, we dated briefly and it didn't work out because the open road was calling me. And I've just been traveling around like that old show Renegade on this hot. solving crimes and beating people up. But now I'm back, ready to settle down, turn on light switches, and take out garbages. Well, what's going to be this different? What's going to be different this time if it didn't work out the first time?

It's like, all right, you know what, Georgia, let me explain a little something to you. It's cold time. All right. You know, when lunch time comes around, you're like, I don't need to eat lunch today. And you don't eat anything. Then dinner comes around. You're like, I don't need to eat dinner. You'll wake up in the middle of the night and you're starving.

You'll eat anything. shit eating a lunch, do what I mean? So, but I don't understand. It's time. But if I say what's different this time and you just respond time, that's not fair because you're just saying the last word of my sentence.

Time. Well, that against me. That was literally two minutes of time ago. It was bad timing. So from the author who brought you bad Mormon comes her new book, Bad Timing. So Tripapa is like, well, the one constant has been how much I love and respect your mom. And the friendship we've had forever, I'm very happy and I love her very much ever since I first met her.

And now in retrospect, we had a tour and love affair where the love has been just love. We're just so much love. relationship, but we've basically been together 10 years. You get that audience? Okay. All right, listen, we're very close. She doesn't even have to contact me on the app anymore, okay? Doesn't have to go to Angie.com. She has my email address. So it's huge. Listen, here's all I want America. I just want a best friend who I think is hot. And I wanted a wild boy who would bring me wild joy. I wanted a man that could be completely in charge. but like absolutely let me lead.

If I planned it out, I couldn't construct a Tinder profile that would be as perfect a picture as he is for me. He's like my dream man, the sort of dream man that comes into your life, who then you don't see you for 10 years, and then you realize people want to see you dating someone. You're like, do I even talk to any man? And then I remember there was that one guy who came to fix the pipes back in 2016. That's who he is. Here's what I want.

I want a man, a man to hold my hand, and I found a handyman. So we're going with it, America. So, okay, just to keep score, this is two relationships in a row that everyone is already speculating are fake. Because Bronwyn's is like her young, young, hot model boyfriend from New York that everyone's like, okay. Most likely fake. And then this Heather one. So this is shaping up to be a good housewife season, I think. Yeah, but I think that like the Bronwyn relationship, it's not so much that we think it's fake.

we just know it's like a dead end relationship. And I think that she doesn't, I mean, it's like, it's, it's clearly a rebound. Like, everyone knows. I think she knows. She's just like, I have been in Todd Hell for the past 10 years. I'm going to get some hot young ass. And like whether, whether it has legs, whether he's gay or straight, whether he's using or not using her, I think she's getting from this model exactly what she wants, which is some dick.

which is some penis. Yeah, I don't really know what I think of it yet, because I haven't seen much of it on TV, but that's, you know, that's a speculation on the Internet. So I just think it's funny playing out, especially this one. Oh, my God, I'm just,

we've basically been together 10 years. You want to take me on your hog? I know. Like, and they have zero chemistry on screen, which is what's so hilarious to me. So then she's like, then they do get on this motorcycle and then they just ride it off. And I'm just like, oh, God, we're going to have a whole season of this. This like off-brand Jared Osmond, which is already an off-brand Osmond.

Kind of a David Bedore-licking. Yeah, David Bedore, like, I don't know, meets like Chris Knoth. I don't know. It's just all wrong. All right, let's go to Bronwyn's house. So Bronwyn's with Muzzy, who has also learned from being on TV and is now all smiles at all time, even though you see the judgment coming from behind her eyes. She's like, hello, it's right. Muzzy.

Oh, I know. I'm going to be with you, Bronwyn. I'm glad you can use me as a shooting partner, even though you've tried to ruin my life multiple times on television. She's like, don't worry, Branwin. I'll let my Bob do the frowning. It is in that shape. So,

Brahman's like, Hey, Muzzy, where do we get these scissors? You can take them apart. And she's like, well, that's so you can put them in the dishwasher. And I... I'm like,

I stabby with a half of them. Can I tell you something? I always wondered why kitchen cheers did that? I was like, why do kitchen chairs come apart? That's so annoying. I never realized it was that way you could wash them better. I didn't either.

I just thought it was to annoy me. Yeah, I was like, why don't they... I am the person to lose half the scissors. well yeah but i also it's like i'm also the person where like they come apart while i'm cutting and i'm like i just never understood why kitchen cheers had that design and now i'm like this makes so much more sense although my kitchen shears i got a pair of kitchen cheers called like the joyce chens and um they do not come apart and they're also the most powerful kitchen cheers in the entire world you can cut their metal with them they're amazing joys chen put them in the dishwasher

I usually just hand-washed them, but then what I do is when I wash them, it's always weird. What I do is I sort of like chop at the stream of water. I cut the water so that way it gets in between it, you know? And like I hit with soap and then I go, because I'm hoping that I drive the water in between. The longest scissors in the world, they can cut through water. They can go in the dishwasher, but usually. I need them so frequently. I can't just put them in there and wait,

wait for the dishwasher to start a cycle. Yeah. So, Bronwyn is talking about this guy, Brandon. She's like, oh, my God, I bet him. I liked him. I just liked him, you know. And so I said, you're great. Do you want to go here?

Do you want to go there? And then we just started traveling. We went everywhere. We went to Montana. We went to New York Fashion Week. We were on the McDonald's playground together. That felt a little weird. after a while, but it was a location.

We went to sundowns. I mean, that's close. That's closer than the other ones. I don't know. Should I have started with New York Fashion Week? It's been very glamorous. And then Browen says that basically, they're selling this house because a realtor,

a realtor called up and said, hey, are you getting divorced? Because if you are, do you want to sell that house? Because you can sell that house. You want to sell the house with the dog poop in it? The only thing I ask is that we stage this with a little fewer piles of dog poop that are dried for months of time. That work?

And so, Brown one's like, this is my dark sense of humor, mother. Last year, you lost a husband and sold a house. And then this year, I lost a husband and sold a house. She's like, hmm, monkey see, monkey do. Everything's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay. I don't even know what I want, Missy. I mean, I have you, lucky me.

Right audience? Oh, and I've Gweny, and I've Logan. By the way, Gweny probably hates me now, because I'm calling her Gweny, and I'm showing a picture of her no longer with a bob, and her hair is blonde. So it's almost like she's doing her best to not be me. Fucking Gwenny.

Well, that's great, but I told Gwenny I'd buy her house, And so she's being notes to me now, mom, because she's getting a house. Yeah. So, um, uh, Bronwyn's saying that they haven't even filed for divorce yet. And, um, there's just, there's, you know, there's absolutely been a handful of times. I should have said, you know, this is the end. But for me, the final straw was I was going to have a big 40th birthday. And I thought he'd remember.

But no, nope. he just was on his sofa on his iPad at fart.com and I just was really upset. On the other hand, he really doesn't remember to put the toilet seat up when he pees. And I don't mean just the one with the hole in it. I mean, the entire lid has kept closed before. But, you know, I mean, it still hurt my feelings. So the Brahman's like, I just don't know. I don't think anyone understands that there was a period of time where I was really in love.

with Todd, and I think that period is done. And Buzzig is like, so you're done, done. Oh, well, you do what you need to do, Bronwyn. Hold on one second. Let me just sit over on your sofa now, and I'm not going to hug you, but I'll just sit close to your sluttiness, and that will feel like intimacy. I can't be judgmental with my words. I'm going to do it with my energy, and hopefully you can feel that I'm not excited that my daughter, who's already disappointed me in so many ways, is not getting divorced and also doesn't know how to use kitchen scissors. I'm just going to sit very close to you, very close to you, but please know I will not be touching you. I will be sitting with this nice piece of plastic off the back of the couch, though, which is, ironically, something I could suffocate.

you with. Isn't that crazy? Well, you're being so nice to me, and I don't know what to do with that. I don't think you've ever actually sat this close to me before. I think it's all our hugs in the past have been you just attaching gloves to yardsticks and having them touch my shoulders.

So this is sort of strange. Yeah, I remember telling you the story of when you were born. You came out of me, and I literally moved to another couch. But, you know, things changed, and I'm the new muzzie. Muzzy goes, actually I just came over here to sit by this nice piece of plastic, and Bramman laughs. And you know, Muzzy was like, it wasn't a joke.

I think it's a lovely. It's a darling piece of plastic. It's the most tasteful thing in this house. So Bronlin's like, you know, I mean, my mother is very Mormon, and she shifts to her, I should be married into temple. But way down on the list is me being married not to somebody in the temple and also having sex with another man. So, you know, this is absolutely not what I'm supposed to be doing. And it is thrilling me to do this on camera with her right now. Love this.

So Muzzy's like, well, you know, I'm very old-fashioned. So I don't want you to skank it up in public with this model is what I'm trying to say. It just, you know, it became public before Gwen knew anything about this person. And that's a concern from her because, you know, here you're sending an example that in life you want to, you want to marry an older, homely guy who keeps where there's originals in his pocket and then all of a sudden you're doing a model. I mean, what's Gweny's supposed to think? No wonder why she grew

out of her generational bob. Oh, Bronman, I just want you to remember that your relationship may be public now, but so are stonings. So just keep that in mind. Mother, actually, that hasn't been legal for a long time. Well, like I said, in very old fashion. God, whatever happened to the good old days.

Well, it doesn't even really matter because I'm buying Gweny a house, so she can't save shit about who I'm sleeping with. Okay. Well, I understand where she's coming from. That's for sure. Okay, I'll go back to my guest bedroom. The house you're paying for.

Okay, good talking to you, Bronwyn. So, now we go over to a restaurant, and Meredith is walking very slowly. Oh, slow walking to a restaurant is so good. It is my first thing. I want

everybody to relish in my new updated face and my old yet dependable recipe for being salad. No face, whomace. So, Lisa's like, oh my God.

Twitch, one eye, closing. It's this animatronic? I know. Hi, Mer, hey, don't get up. How are you? Oh, my God. How is L.A.?

She's like, oh, it was so quick. Well, it was so much fun. You know, Glad Awards, Brooksie was nominated, the first ever toddler to be nominated for a Glenn Award. He didn't win the Southern Hospitality. People won that. And they are adorable,

those adorable kids on a much smaller, less significant show than anything that Brooks has been on. I'm not going to tell that to Glad. That's for them to figure out. But someday he won't be a toddler anymore, and then they're going to regret not giving the toddler their award. So that's fine. Oh, my God.

the Southern hospitality people. They're like kids. Yeah, well, I'm calling kids, too, but I think I look as young as they do. Listen, you look very, very young. And so the producer's like, tell us what you did to your face. Well, I got a facelift, facial rejuvenation.

I then put my face in a glass pie pan, and I just stuck it in there for about five hours until it sort of all flattened out, became nice and round, and smooth, and now here I am. I look basically like a teapot, but the nice kind,

a porcelain kind. If you put an adorable face on a teapot, here I am. Here's my handle. Here's my spout. That said, she does look stunning. Meredith has some of the best surgery on any of these shows. She's always looked amazing. And I think the biggest change is her

sitting here talking about having surgery. She hasn't done that before, has she? Has it usually been like, well, I just have been praying and moisturizing and putting on literal diamonds onto my face as a mask form. And I have just stayed looking like this forever. Yeah, she looks like she's 37. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. So Lisa is like, wow, Meredith's like, wow, I mean, I got card in when I went to Lisa.

his lounge. Oh, you know, that's a good sign. She's like, well, we heard everyone who goes into our lounge, even me, but you look great. We have so much to catch up on. Like, what's going on? You know, I told you about my hurt feelings with John, and he said, like, I hurt you because I was miserable inside, and I'm sorry, and you're right about everything.

I mean, it's, like, really all I needed to hear on camera. You know, so it was great. We're great now. Do you know how amazing it was that he was able to get emotional? I mean, my tear dogs have been long frozen, so if I can only dream of what it was like to be able to get my lips to quiver again. Well, he's only cried like one time when like the other non-Henry left home, and it was like so sad, but then there was like one other time. I don't really remember. But, you know, the point is that I'm really emotionally here for John, and it's great that he's here for me too.

I just forgot his traumas. I mean, who cares really? But you know what? I met him 25 years ago, and I knew when I met him, like, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with that man. You know, and I was hurt. I was hurt. Because, like, I didn't really know that things were so bad at lunch, and I didn't really understand how much they weren't even at lunch until I watched it on TV. Yeah, I cried, because my feelings always mattered, and they didn't matter to him.

So I called John up, and I said, I think we're done. And he said, he can't live without me. And I said, no, I said, I think we're done with French fries. We have to go get some more at Wendy's. Can we go? And he said, oh, my God, I love you. And like, I don't think you get it. But like the other night, I was like, you do get it.

You do get it, John. Like, you do get the fries. You go. I'll be here. Bring them back. You know what? I was like, you love me? And he said, yeah, I said, what else do you love?

And he couldn't think of it. And so I almost kicked him out until he said, I love grilled cheese. And I was like, that's right. That's right, you do. And what type of cheese do you like? At first he said sheep. And I was like, close. Try again.

He said, goat. And I said, you do get it. You do get it. We're going to be together forever. Oh, my God. How do you feel about going to MJ's? What do you feel about? Well, you know, I didn't feel anything except that we were there for Mary. I will keep all of my other comments to myself until I have a very special brunch to talk about how to support them. Yeah, Whitney did make eye contact, and I think she felt embarrassed about going on stage. Yeah, well, I think it's just sad. It's sad for her. Yeah, it's actually, like, funny at this point. Like, ha, ha, ha, ha, it's funny. Yeah, I mean, she's not again and again, and you know what? You know what? Winnie told her truth. She doesn't like me. No, she actually hates me. Let's be clear. And she hates Lisa slightly less than he's... Yeah, but you know what? No one takes her seriously. It's like clown behavior. It's ridiculous. Like, who even pays attention. to clowns.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't tell Danny Bucco that. He does not like being called a clown. And don't call shy. Don't call shy that. Don't call shy that. Don't call her clown or a jester. Yeah, or jesters. Clums are ridiculous. So, you know what?

If I weren't trying to keep the peace, I would, like, fight at the service, but I'm not going to do with that. Like, I wouldn't even be in the same room as her if it weren't for the service. But you know what? She's just a dean bat. Like she lost auto credibility. There's no credibility with Whitney, Clown Whitney.

Well, didn't she ever have credibility? Well, I don't know. And she was able to buy a house somehow. It's hilarious. No, credibility. You know, for seven years. Like, her Fido score was so bad. Like, she couldn't even get a house.

I don't even know how she's dead at. For seven years, she's been gas-lighting and pretending to be my friend and doing things because she cares about me, and then she finally admitted she hates me. So thank you. At least I know where we stand. So Mary,

now we see that after three weeks, Mary returned to filming. And she's calling the cat. It's not named gray. It's Clay. No, the dog. The dog is cray. Sorry, that's what I meant.

But I was trying to think gray. So I said cat instead of, oh, geez. We got gray the cat and pray the dog. Cray. She's like, cray. Craig, Craig. So the dog. At A-Cast who keeps passing my glass booth.

And I'm like, oh, every time he passes, I'm like, I love you. You like dogs. Would you name your dog, Cray? You're so cute. This is a really heart-wrenching scene because basically, Mary says that, like, after Robert passed, the dog essentially, like, went into the room and, like, smelled the room and, like, knew.

like knew that Robert was gone and now the dog goes in the room. And then she says how basically Robert loved this dog and this is like what she has left of Robert. Like this represents Robert now. And so I was like, oh, God, this is absolutely gut-wrenching. Yeah, this whole, this whole scene was really rough. She tells us that so many people have been reaching out and sending her so many messages and she just, wants everyone to know, you know, she thanks them. And Meredith comes over, all the ladies start coming over and talking about how, you know, they want to be supportive and not be volatile right

now and just try to support her anyway. They can. And so Mary is saying, you know, I love Meredith, and we bonded from the beginning, and maybe we've drifted a little, but I really love her. And so she's talking about Robert and how hard it's been, but she's trying to stay positive. She also wants to just, she also is like, I'm not going to just like stop my life. She's like, I can't wobble. I can't stop my life and wobble. So she's like, he's going to live within me. You can't wobble in life.

That's what I'm always saying. Oh, okay. There's winning her life worth wobbling through. Am I right? So everyone gathers. And Mary is saying, you know, she, she thinks that they did the right thing. And everyone's like, you know, you did everything. You did everything right.

there's nothing you could have, nothing you could have done differently. And then they're reflecting more about, like, losing a child and how, like, you know, how tough it is. And how this is going to, like, the bond that they have transcends any sort of petty differences they all have amongst each other. Yeah. But when Heather says that, she's like, wow, you know, I've never known how to talk through this with her. But, you know, now we're with this group. Sing! Salt Lake City keeps putting in the sound effects no matter what.

So everybody is kind of gathering together and talking, and Mary thanks him all for showing up for her and being there for her. Emily says, like, oh my God, your service was magical. It was amazing. And basically they describe it as this big, beautiful service that was filled with a lot of joy and appreciation of the person instead of a lot of, you know, sadness. And it's so sad.

It is sad. They refer to it as... For me, to live through it. Let's just fast forward. Yeah. I mean, basically, the way the show ends is that Mary reflects, and they talk about Roberts, but they say the homegoing, and Mary says, like... That's a nice term.

I've never heard that term before. Same. It was very nice. and she, Mary's saying that like Lisa sends her packages and censor groceries and like she's saying that like her sister never didn't reach out like none of her family reached out and that basically these women are her family. Like this is the family that she like, that she now has. They're the ones that are checking in on her and making sure she's okay. And she's like, yeah, you're my family, even though I didn't ask for you. And then Mary's like,

This is like, yeah, you can't give us back. And so then they all, they laugh. And it basically ends on a note of like, we are, we are a family and we've got you, Mary. And then there's like a beautiful little clips of Robert at the very end. So it was like, you know, I'm sure a lot of people, like, I was definitely getting emotional watching it. And I'm sure lots of people were. It was very sad. I wasn't okay for this episode.

So, you know, RIP, Robert Jr. RIP. RIP. Really a sad, sad thing. But now the show will move forward, and I'm sure we will get back to the petty, insufferable squabbles that we know from this cast. And we'll meet the new girl, Kauai.

So until then, thanks to everyone for being here and for listening, and we'll catch you on the next episode of Real House. Swath or of, um, of, say, Real House with Salt Lake City, but also watch for Crappins. Bye, everyone. Bye. Watch What Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Our way is the Amber Way.

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