Watch What Crappens - #3550 RHONY S16E3 Part Two: The Lichey Plague Party

Episode Date: September 23, 2026

This is part 2 of 2Vulture’s Dame Brian Moylan joins Ronnie to discuss Erin awarding plague crowns on this week’s Real Housewives of New York. Well, that’s one way to fight the “boring” allegations. Follow Brian on Insta @brianjmoylan, read his fab Vulture articles https://www.vulture.com/author/brian-moylan/ and subscribe to his substack https://rhodetoriches.substack.com/ ! We’re back on tour Oct 3! Get our In the Mix tickets for your city at watchwhatcrappens.com. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, sign up for our free weekly newsletter and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to watch what What Cropins? This is part two of a two-part recap. She's going to be doing Pirates Booty ads just to make the ends me. Yeah. God, I'm in Pirate's Beauty. Send it over. Now there's it.

So Jessel is asking how long they've lived here, and it's kind of in a disgusted way. Like, how long have you lived here? Is it safe? She's like, well, I've been here 10. Eugene's had it for 21 years. Yeah, you're right. She's going to be the one kicked out.

Yeah, she is 100% the one kicked out. His name is on the lease, and she is Gonzo. Do you ever live in New York City? I did. I lived there 10 years. I moved there on my 18th birthday and moved away when I was 28. So it was a long time ago, but it was good. It was my youth.

And did you ever go to Battery Park City? Yeah. Because my first place that I ever lived was in Staten Island. No. Yeah. So I used to have, and I worked in midtown or in the Upper East Side. So I used to have to walk. I didn't have to walk, but I was like, I'm in New York City.

So I would walk from the ferry all the way at the bottom of the city, all the way to the Upper East Side and back every day. I was like, I'm fat girl. You know, so yeah, I saw Battery City a lot. You walked from the ferry terminal to the Upper East Side every day? I got so skinny. Yeah, it was the first time I ever lost weight. My legs were huge. Oh, my.

How long did that take you? That's like a three-hour walk. Well, sometimes I would take the train up from the ferry, but I would walk home every night. It took me probably like an hour and a half, two hours, I think. I don't feel like it was three hours. It could have been. I mean, what do I know? That was like a lifetime ago.

I know. No, I was a weird, weird person. But yeah, I saw Battery Park City a lot and nobody used to live down there. Like in the daytime, it was very busy. And then it was a ghost town at night. And now every time I see people living down there on these shows, I'm like, who lives down there? But I'm just very outdated, you know? Financial District, like where SIE and everyone on Summerhouse lives, I've seen a lot more people living there.

But Battery Park City still seems crazy. but also fun fact erika jane lived in battery park city when she was 20 so that was the 80s she was living in battery park city i can imagine what that is like oh damn but i feel like the mean streets of battery park city yes carroll was on the subway erika jane was in battery park city pushing a stroller but i feel like part of jessel's thing about like oh you live here was like how far and and hard it is to get to Battery Park City. But she probably also took her car because she's Jessel. So who the fuck knows? Yeah, well, people anywhere from like what, the village up north,

I think are very confused by the streets starting to curve all of a sudden. Because the city goes in a grid and then you go downtown and then suddenly there's just curves and streets and you don't know where you're going anymore. And I think it's honestly confusing if you don't live down there. So bless Jessel. She's a hero and I stand by her and her hatred of popcorn ceilings. I need to know how much they pay in rent. I need to know, Daisy, tell us, I know you're proud of it.

Just put it on Instagram because I need to know. Thank you. Love Brian years. It's got to be like $1,400. It's something like that. Exactly. It's got to be nothing. And also to stay in that marriage when they clearly hate each other, you know the rent's

good if you're staying. You know the rent is good. The dick is good, the red is good. And we know the first one isn't true. So now Daisy's like, yeah, I need another apartment just for my clothes. But this is rent controlled and it's gold jessels. She's like, but you could move, you know, can't you?

Can't you? Please, please move. If only so I can have somewhere less disgusting to visit. She's like, no, you stay here. This is goal. This is winning the lottery in New York, Jessel. Okay? What we pay our rent is what you pay to laser your beard once a month.

Which solid read, Daisy. Solid read. Also, I'm not letting this Dr. Belkin or whatever become a thing. Who's Dr. Belkin? He's this dermatologist that they're fighting over. I can't with that guy either. That thirsty ass queen trying to get on the housewives. And of course, Aaron is.

the one who lets him on, you know? Of course. I'm going to give a job to Dr. Belkin. I'm going to win the Housewives storylines here by bringing a thirsty dermatologist who needs more than a hello from somebody at a party. You don't get more than a hello. Not because you're a disgusting dermatologist, but because I don't know you. I think that's such a normal thing to go to a party and say, oh, hi, nice to meet you.

Right. And then, like, keep it pushing. I mean, it depends on the situation. Like, if you have something to say, say it. But if not, girl, what does Jessel owe you? Yeah, there's other people here, sir. So Daisy's talking about a relationship and how it sucks, basically, and they kind of hate each other.

And the husband doesn't come home until super late at like 10 at night. And then he showers and goes to his phone and just emails. And Jessel's like, Who's hair are you cutting until 10 p.m.? My goodness. You must have a lot of private clients. I think that's a good question. Whose hair are you cutting at 10 p.m.?

I mean, fair. And also, I wonder if it's Ruben, Daisy's or Haley's husband. Are Eugene and Ruben having... The only time I can get out of the jewel shop. Yeah. Are Eugene and Rubin having a terrible name off together at 10 o'clock on a weekday? Terrible day off. So Daisy's talking about Passover and Jessel asks her what Passover is for.

And she's like, oh my God, don't ask me. I'm the worst Jew. Don't worry. I've printed out lots of diagrams that explain things for the table. That's, I don't want to read things at the table. I don't want to read religious things. Just give me, my favorite religion is where they're like, here's some bread. That's it.

I will also say this satyr did give me a little bit of PTSD from Black Shabbat. Remember Black Shabbat? Yes. Of course I remember Black Shabbat. It was one of the most deeply hysterical episodes of the Housewives that's ever aired. I can't even believe that they still repeat it. I absolutely correct. I mean, it's basically the reason why Ramona is never a ProvoCat.

Well, one of them, because she followed up with even bigger stuff after that one. It was like, but they were all terrible in that one. Oh, my God. Sonia was pretty bad in that one, too. Oh, my God. Yes. Leah was on the phone. Oh, my God.

COVID was terrible. It was terrible. But it was so unhinged. I think that's one of the all-time classic Housewives episodes, just because of how completely unhinged and terrible it was. I mean, I laughed. Even the people there who had the right to be the most offended

out of probably anyone who's ever walked the earth were kind of laughing. They were like, what the fuck is this? What is this? The only person they were ever worse to was that woman, I think her name was Bridie,

and she had that charity that they were they did a fundraiser for remember and Ramona kept calling her Bernie and then she was trying to give a speech and Dorinda and Ramona are like fighting in the middle of this woman's speech oh my God wasn't it for

I think it was for like domestic violence or something and then Ramona would be like you know what I just want to say hi to all my violent domestic girlies out there hi Drenna's like yeah I'll tell you this I'll tell you this about domestic violence you've never experienced anything

until Ramona has interrupted you at an Halloween party to call you a drunk. Oh, man. That was a very accurate depiction of exactly what happened. I mean, it wasn't really far. God, those ladies were nuts. Oh, my God. Doodoo, dude. Now to the present, dinner at somebody's house.

So Daisy's like, wow, you know, um, Wait, what are they talking about here? They're talking about Aaron and Jessel's fight at the end. And Daisy's like, oh, we were just talking about the dermatologist. And she's like, you know, the apology didn't even last for a solid three minutes. And she's like, no, it's fucked up, you know. It's like trying to poke holes in my character. You know, just trying to get dermatologists not to talk to me.

I mean, what am I paul's going to do? How are my Paul supposed to react to this? So poor Jessel's pores. Poor pores. Poor poor, poor, poors. Poor poros. So she's like, well, Erin wants to talk about me, but maybe Erin should Google herself. Because the amount of people that had like we heard from Aaron X, Y, Z, and I think, well, there's some shit that she needs to be more worried about than me.

Google her. She didn't pay rent at her Tribeca place, claiming she has a rat or mouse issues. And the landlord basically sued them, and they had to say. Settle. So there. I mean, I do love that this came up. And I'm glad that it was from somewhat reputable places rather than like on Salt Lake City where they're like a blogger told me that, oh, I heard on a podcast that I watched a TikTok about Aaron that said she didn't tip somebody. at least it was like a real lawsuit that Aaron was facing. Yeah, TikTok is really fucking people up because that's the only place they get their news from and stuff.

I was talking to my best friend yesterday and she's like, oh, I wouldn't mean to ask you, do you have a living trust? And I was like, what? Is it your friend Vicki Gumbelson? Did she let me ask you that? Do you have a living trust? Does that not? It's like, why are you asking me about a living trust? Like, what a weird fucking question.

Like, oh, I saw it on TikTok and it seems really important. Everybody's talking about it. And it's like, okay. Well, thanks. I just left there thinking, God, maybe I should get on TikTok? I mean, my friend who doesn't even know how to pay her bills online is now questioning me about living trusts. So, anyway, point is, you're right. This is a very reputable source.

The French news outlet, we healthy, boob. reality blurb Does reality blurb get a quarter every time they flash it on screen? Like, why is that the only source they always go to? It's always a reality blurb story.

That's true, actually. They do get a lot of... They used to do a lot of... What the online? Yeah. That used to be one that would pop up a lot, too. Yeah, Lisa Vanderpump's... Reality blurb.

Yes. Oregon of choice. Lisa Vanderpump owns all of them can if you ask any of them. The Daily Mail, that is Lisa Vanderpumps. Radar online Lisa Vanderpump. The New York Vanderpump Times. I say.

So they're talking about Aaron owing money to people. Brigade Talent LLC have gone to Judge Chay, to chase the money owed by Aaron Lichy. So she owns her former management company $90,000. That's a good. good management company that they made Aaron, I mean, what would that be $900,000 that they made Aaron? Who is using Aaron to influence for them? So I think that this is more of a PR firm because I have a little inside story for you.

I was working on a story for Inc. Magazine that came out the beginning of this year. And I set up an interview with Aaron for it. was about housewife businesses and interviewed Aaron and I set up through Brigade, who was her publicist at the time. And then the story took like a lot longer than it was supposed to. And so I had some follow up questions to ask about some like numbers, whatever. And so I emailed them to be like, oh, I have a few questions. Like, could you send these to Aaron?

And they were like, we do not represent Aaron anymore. Send. And so. Oh, damn. Yeah. So she got cut off for not paying her bills to the publicist. Oh, damn. Did you ever get the follow-ups?

I did get the follow-ups. She has a new PR company. So Brigade didn't tarnish her name so much that she couldn't find new representation. But. Oh, wow. Then I got a new publicity. It's like horrible. Her publicist, her new publicist is Lindsay Hubbard, Hubbard.

Hubhouse PR. Um, can you put a drop a little mention of Pizza Beach in there? Thanks. That would be great, Ryan. Okay, so now Jessel is going to come for Aaron. Then we see Aaron jogging and side coming out from a subway stop. And Carol is driving her old-ass red Jeep and sees a cab with a love story ad. And she's like, oh, love story. I just can't get away from it. Stop taking my picture. This cab is everybody's love story, but it's my horror story. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. Now we go to Haley's Pietatiel.

And she's FaceTiming with her mom, Lauren, and we've talked a little bit about this scene. But her mom is just like, oh, hi, honey. gonna put you in here because I have to be on the couch because of my bank. I got when you're over 45, not a good idea. Should I make my boobs smaller? Should I make them small? She's like, Mom, you just got your boobs done. I was forever a god.

It was last year. Well, you know, I was thinking it might be better for tap dancing. I really need to get back into tap dancing to any things. The best part of this whole scene, though, was when Haley brings up that she has a they-them therapist, which I don't know why, but I find hilarious. And that the they-them therapist was like, you should go to a queer bird watching group. Like of all the gay groups that you're going to go to,

like a gay bird watching group? Like, okay, girl, sir. She's like, since when a bird's gay, ma? She's like, oh, honey. And she starts laughing. She's like, seriously, though. But then I started realizing maybe she was saying

that the people who watch the birds are queer. I don't know. So very confusing to me. I feel like if you asked Ramona Singer, she would tell you that all birds are gay. Whoa, you know what? That's what queer people do. That's why their eyes are always looking around the room.

They're just trying to find birds. Okay. Is it? Okay. Thanks, Ramona. This conversation was hilarious. And Haley, it does just seem really out of it. I mean, I guess she's stoned all the time.

But she's just kind of staring off in the space while her mom's laughing. It's like, what are you laughing at? This is my life. a ma. It's like all I do I listen to my mom, but sometimes I don't think she understands. I'm a person. I am

I feel, remember Bronwynndenberg, one of our other queer housewives and she had that crazy mother and she was on for one season and it like ruined the mother's brain. I feel like that's what's going to happen with Haley's mother. She's going to be like,

I'm famous now and she's going to come next season she's going to be a fucking terror. Oh, yeah. Well, look at Muzzy. I mean, just even in the first episode of this one, Muzzy's like, hello, Bronwyn. I'm just, I'm going to come sit by you on the couch. It's just me, your loving mother.

Like, so hard to be nice for TV so she won't get ripped to shreds again. You're just so proud of you. Remember Tiny Tune Adventures? There was that, what was her name? Her name was like Elmira. and she would like love and squeeze the bunny so much she would kill them that's like the new mussy she's just like oh bradwin i let me give you a hug so now we go to erika's home and this is one of our first like erika as a person scenes because i feel like normally we've just seen her as like kind of friend of Erica like hi i'm just here to be supportive you knew the kennedy's wow yeah so this is her first at home scene

I box. I love tacos. Yeah, what is the fucking taco line? Like, does she think she's Emily Simpson? Like, what is going on? Exactly. It's worrisome when you're going to take from another housewife and that housewife is Emily Simpson. Like, no. I mean, oh, hopefully something with tacos happens this season, so it will make more sense.

But nothing could make enough sense for that to be your tagline. You know what I mean? She should be like, you know, some people are jealous of my life, but I built it myself. I mean, there's so many things already that you could do, you know? Don't box me in. I was just going to say, like, you, it's not my first time in the ring. I don't know. Some bullshit.

Like, yeah. I don't like when girls take me dad, put them up. Or I don't know, something. But tacos. She's like, I may be gorgeous. but I love tacos or whatever herb. Yeah, fuck you, Erica. You need more.

We need more. I will also say, I did not at all understand that they have a private chef, but then the private chef is making them make their own dinner. Like, doesn't that negate the point of having the private chef? Why is it the chef making the fucking pizzas? Why are they having someone tell them how to make the pizzas? Yeah, I think it's one of those. things like, oh, we're going to be really close as a couple tonight and have pizza making night or something.

And the chef does everything that they, you know, it's like a little kid. They just have to roll out the dough on there. Because like, I have to roll it out. I haven't been to a grocery store in like a year and a half. It's like, oh, this is what the poor people do. They roll out their own pizzas. Like, girl, just go if I can get a slice outside, please. This is our version of podcast.

popcorn ceilings. So just go with it, guys. I love tacos. So we meet her husband, Encore, and he's very like, hey, hey audience, it's me, Angkor, Billet Rewards, get some points on your mortgage or your rent. Hey, Erica. For only having seen in one episode, that was an excellent impersonation. I will say credit, where it's due, Ronnie. He literally looks into the camera and smiles and kind of winks. I was like, oh, Jesus guy. And it's definitely finger guns. He is like a finger gun kind of guy.

Yeah. He's like, well, you're going to have Erica Cook last time she set out the fire alarms in the whole building. I mean, so she does the new real house wife. Like, I'm so rich. She's like, oh, my God, I'm so rich. Like, we bought this apartment three years ago. It's the West Village. Love the neighborhood.

We also have a private island. Mosquito Island. Yeah, Mosquito Island. And just how she put that all together. Like, yeah, love the West Village. Love our private island. So that's been great. It's in the British Virgin Islands.

A lot of celebrities have stayed in the house. Past presidents, after they finish their terms, of course. Current president's not allowed. But past ones we really like. That made me think Donald Trump has been there. That made me think she wanted to say Donald Trump has been on my island, but also didn't want to say Donald Trump has been on my island because let's look it up.

Donald Trump Mosquito Island. Okay. Donald Trump. Mosquito Island. I know. I'm sorry, this is so entertaining while I'm Googling stuff while you're sitting there. No. Well, I mean, a Russian oligarch probably paid for his trip there just like he paid for

Don Jr's wedding. Oh, God. It says Donald Trump has no known association with mosquito island. Okay. But let's see, the Obama vacation, they went there. Oh. Oh. Yeah, there you go.

The Obama is. Well, if it's good enough for the Obamas, it's good enough for a Moana. Michelle's a Housewives fan. So, you know, now she'll really want to go back. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes the most attractive thing about a place is, who hasn't been there.

That's what they say about my bed. Yeah. Oh, join me. So Erica talks about built rewards and how they got married in Egypt, and they flew everybody out, and they also had a really fun, I don't know, other thing. It's a lot of things about how rich she is, so I skip over most of that stuff.

But she's just a girl from Waco, Texas. And she's like, I grew up rich, but now I'm a rich rich. I mean, Waco, Texas rich is pretty different from built rewards rich. So suck it, tacos. Yeah. I used to be a millionaire with an M, and now I'm a billionaire with a B. And fuck you. Have we ever had a billionaire housewife before now?

Is she actually a billionaire? Yeah, he is a billionaire with a B. Whoa. Well, billionaire's a new millionaire. Who cares? Show me a trillionaire if you want to be. Get Mrs. Elon Musk up in here. That's a thousandaire.

I would like to say I have a place on this show. I don't know. I don't really care about Erica, but I don't dislike Erica either. She seems very nice. She seems extremely annoyed with her husband already, which I like. And he's really not doing anything, but she just. Her whole smiley persona goes out the window when he's there. She's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, honey.

So I'm excited to see where this one goes. I completely agree with all of the above. I feel like she gives like Crystalcombe minkoff vibes. Like, you're not giving me a lot, but I'm glad you're there, you know? Yeah. And Crystal was kind of best when she got triggered about something, you know, like when she was upset or when she was standing up. to somebody. So sometimes you just need to wait until these people get pissed off.

You know? Yeah. People like Haley, you can just come, you can watch them walk in and literally just walk around their house doing nothing and they're entertaining. And some people just need to get upset. Yeah. So I'm hoping she gets upset soon. Erica is one of those. Well, it looks like they're going to say that her private island is cheap, which I cannot wait for. It's called Mosquito Island. Like, what do you expect? Do you expect it to be pleasant? Yeah. Like, yeah. Like, like, Like, girl, where do you want to go? Oh, I come rent my house at Rash Beach.

Like, what? You know, like, no, I don't think I want a rash or mosquito. Come to Dung Beetle Island. Now we go back to Daisies and she's making matzabal soup with her son, Quentin, and calls Martha. And she's like, oh, my God, Martha. I need something to sub for potato starch. Can I use corn starch? Like, yeah, basically, it's interchangeable.

Why are you making things for a Passover? I'm not invited to. She's like, oh, yeah, I just thought you were busy. Yeah, also, I would never go to your Passover party. Have fun with that. Have fun with food poisoning. Everybody you've ever known. Deep in Brooklyn.

Deep in Brooklyn. Yeah, how come nobody complains about it? This is Housewives. I need people complaining that they have to go to Brooklyn. This is weird. I mean, Sonia Morgan want to go to Quagg and they're going to go to hill, what was it called, hillside? Is that the part of Brooklyn?

Yeah, I don't even know what part of Brooklyn it was. I think, um, uh, What's your button says it at one point, uh, meh, sigh. I think sigh says at one point in what part it is, but I feel like that's like the part of Brooklyn that sigh is from probably you know like out like i don't i think size probably from outer brooklyn like that midwood she from midwood brooklyn midwed i thought she was from green point i don't know my brooklins are so messed up brooklyn is so huge people don't understand how big brooklyn is it's a big place yes well and this i lived in williamsburg and i was like okay i'll come to your house in what, like Fort Green or, I don't know, somewhere.

It took me like three hours to get to them. I was like, but it's Brooklyn. I thought we just walk out the door. You see other people in Brooklyn. Cody Island's in Brooklyn, and that's like an hour and 45 minutes on the F train from Manhattan. You know what I mean? Like, girl, that's a commitment.

Yeah. And why? That's a commitment that you make. And then you're like, why did I do this? I knew better, but I still. did it. I don't know. The cyclone is pretty fun. I've had some fun times in Coney Island. I've also had some really scary times in Coney Island. So let's go to Bluestone Lane. Jessel and Aaron are meeting at the coffee shop for a big confrontation scene. And Aaron starts it off with a real big dis. She's like,

you're wearing heels on a Saturday morning. What I loved about the scene, though, is that both Jessel and Aaron were totally right about the other person, and they both fucking hated it. It's like, Aaron is right. Jessel is snobby. Jessel is means people. Like, Jessel is a clout chaser. That is all true. And then Jessel's like, you're projecting your shit onto me.

You go around talking shit about everybody and nobody likes you. Like, they're both totally right about each other and they can't stand it. And so they just have to leave their Arnold Palmer's there at the coffee shop and fight about it. And they're just so disgusted with every little thing about each other. And it's so funny. She's like, you're wearing heels on a Saturday. It's just, yeah, what are you wearing? Flats.

Ew. Flats. So stupid. I was cracking up. So the waiter comes over and Jessel's like, can I have some water? He's like, what? Water. What?

Water. What? Water. I mean, come on, man. Come on. You're a waiter. Like, out of all of the things that someone could ask you for to start, just guess one and bring it. For fuck's sake.

As an American who lives in England, I will say they are obsessed with the different way that we say water to them. And it's like, when they want to make fun of an American, they say water, the way we say water, not water. However the fuck they say. I don't even know. I can't even like make it come out of my mouth. So I was just like, no, this is just somebody who can't understand how English people speak. Yeah, I don't understand a lot of basic things. Like Ben says water, water, you know, because he's an east coaster.

So he'll be like, you know, I really, wow, it was great to get in the water. I'm like, what? And I shouldn't know what he's talking about. He's literally talking about swimming, but it'll somehow, I'll miss it. So I guess I get it, but like you're a waiter. And it's the first thing someone asked for. Just bring some fucking water waiter. Get out of here.

Exactly. I work. A fucking job. Get a job waiter. Here comes one right now. So now, Aaron is, Aaron just orders hot water. you know, which is a huge problem. It takes 20 minutes.

No, Jessel just orders hot water. Oh, yeah, you're right. It takes 20 minutes. And then Aaron's like, huh, cheap day. Oh, don't you love it? Well, I guess, you know, look, Aaron, for me, I wanted to connect because obviously we had like a little come to Jesus the other day, except for the Dr. Belkin thing. And then we see, oh, my dermatologist hates Jassol because he said that he's, you're all. Jusel's only nice if she can get something from you, like clean her pores.

I will say. So then Jessel tries to tell Aaron that, no, you're wrong. Dr. Belkin doesn't have a problem with me at all. And then it shows a clip of her talking to Dr. Belkin. And Dr. Belkin's like, oh, well, yeah, you didn't seem like you wanted to talk to me, but I wasn't offended at all. And by the way, that that treatment will be $2,500. Like, what did you expect this man to say?

You're his client. And that he's being. like, well, you didn't seem excited to talk, is pretty much proving Aaron's point. Yeah, I mean, he did talk shit about Jessel. Yeah. Right. But also, fuck the dermatologist. I mean, I'm more offended at the dermatologist in this situation because, like, I pay you a lot of money.

Just clean my poorest. Like, you don't get, you don't get to go shit talk me to other real housewives. That's so bizarre. Like, oh, Jessel. Yeah, it didn't seem very interested. talking to me. Well, why would she be? What have you done? Get out of here. Like, what are they lining up to talk about the pus that you squeeze out of the? Listen, I don't want to piss off my own dermatologists. They're very important in my life. Hell no.

So, get off your high horse, Wilkins. You have a hot dermatologist? I did when I was in New York. Oh, he was really handsome and homosexual. Oh, I can't. No, I can't have a hot person squeezing my zits and stuff. I just get so insecure. I have an older guy, and he treats me like an old engine. He's just like, all right, it's going to twist this, knock this. And that's how I like it. And you leave humming, just purring like an old GMC.

Too-in-al-a-law. All bruised up. All I had to do is really get a hammer and bang my engine a couple of times, and, oh, my poorest look great. But, yeah, I don't think my dermatomers. dermatologist would ever see me out and be like, oh, Ronnie sure didn't have much to say to me. My dermatologist does not want to hear from me. That's for sure. So maybe I just don't get any of this. So anyway, Aaron's like, but he did talk about you. He told me that point blanked asshole.

And you know, you're not nice to anybody unless you think they have something to offer you. You're a clout chaser, it's all. You treat me like there beneath you. It's like, never, never. I twisted a minute. Please stop looking me in the eye. Just drop the hot water. All right. That, yes, that's kind of exactly what happened. So they're fighting. And then Jessel calls, like you said, calls her out with exactly true things. She's like, no, you twist and you manipulate.

You're the twister and the manipulator. That's like literally your metal name is Twisted Manipulator. Oh. The problem with Aaron is. It's not that she doesn't have a sense of humor. It's that she thinks she's funny and she's not. Yeah. Yeah.

Aaron is just like a little kid with the comebacks. And she keeps saying things like, oh, wow, good zinger. If I looked you up, if I looked up Twisted Manipulator in the phone book, your picture would be there. Stop trying to make Twisted Manipulator happen. she is the kind of person who starts a speech with being like Webster's defines empathy as you know what I mean like it's like Aaron just try to be original for a second please oh bless her so this is where they

start their really bad put down fight and Jess was like you're talking about yourself you should actually work in a movie theater because you're a projector you're a a one-man ponzi scheme. Yes. Bootleg Houdini was good. And Aaron's like, but Houdini was kind of a good magician. And Jessel goes, no, I said you were a bootleg Houdini. And that got me.

That made me laugh aloud. I was like, solid work, Jassel. Solid work on that. And you have a boot camp. You have a smear campaign going on about me. She's like, you're not important enough to smear campaign. It's like trying to Lisa Vanderpump. It's like trying to work smear campaign into a Lisa Vanderpump quote is something.

No, but we're disagreeing and we'll never be on the same page, and I'll never align with someone like you. Have you Googled yourself recently, babe? See, Jessel thought she scored with that, and it's like, no, I haven't. What are you talking about? So she wants to be like, did you Google yourself, but she doesn't want to say what it is? So it's like, girl, you either need to be like, you're poor, you have no, money, you know, or, yeah, say it or don't. Yeah.

Don't give us a... But she does. She does whip out her phone. And she's like, Erin Leachie battling formal management over unpaid commissions. Are Aiden Aaron still together? What does Aaron do for work? Oof, these are pretty bad. All right, now let me Google myself.

Jessel Tank, gorgeous, fabulous. Jettel Tank has a new moisturizer. Ooh, how cute. Jessel Tank awarded Nobel Prize for Snow. Nobbery. Well, ha-ha. Take that, Aaron. And it's like, this is what you do. She's like, oh, really? And then Google yourself, then you should Google yourself.

Like, oh, this is what you do. You deflect. You're a bootleg, Houdini, deflector. Why am I deflecting? You shove mess under the rug over here. Houdini was excellent, by the way. Your bootleg. Well, what does that mean? What are you talking about? How do you do a one-man Ponzi scheme? I will agree with Aaron on that. You can't be a one-man Ponzi scheme. That was dumb. That was terrible. That was her worst Chachy BT in Saul. You literally need other people to do a Ponzi scheme. Right. That's kind of what a Ponzi scheme is.

You think you're Zendaya and your fucking Blossom. Goodbye. Oh, Singer. Are we done? Lovely seeing you. Lovely seeing you. Flats. I need to ask my English friends if they even aired Blossom here in the 90s. Jessel like how would Jessel even know Blossom? I don't know. I guess it's one of those things that maybe repeats on TV. I mean, Blossom is a Jeopardy Star. She's like the most talented celebrity jeopardy person. Or was that the other one? That's me and Bialik, right? Yeah. She like is the host or something?

Oh yeah, she's the host of that now. I forgot. Yeah. Because I always, I sometimes get her, uh, confused with Soleil Moon Fry. Which one was that? Soleil Moon Fry was Punky Brewster. Oh, Punky. Right. Blossom had the flower hat. Plossom had the flower hat.

What did she have? She had like a, what did they wear in France? A beret? No, Punky Brewster had Chuck Taylor's in different colors. Oh, right, right, right. Like the right, right shoe was red and the left shoe was green. Like that was Punky Brewster. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. All right. So now we go to Midwood, Brooklyn. Oh, you called it. Oh, look at you. Midwood, Brooklyn. Here we are.

So she's in her parents' house. They're making this Cedar dinner. She's telling us about it, like how great it was growing up with Cedar dinner. And then Carol comes with her car and takes out a traffic cone and puts it right on our car, right on her car. And she's like, yeah, well, here's the cone. Everyone's always asking about the cone. The cone is a cop family hack. If I'm parts illegally or slightly too close to a hydrant, they just keep on walking.

Really? How has no one stolen that cone? Seriously. And first of all, it's a conned cone. So Carol stole that cone to start with. So, yeah. And remember last week was it when she was with Erica in the car and she, like, is waiting for the street sweeper? and then back up into her

spot after the sweeper comes by. The coat was there too. So Carol's like using those cones to like save her spot and shit and pretending it's kind of it. Yeah, that's Carol. She's that kind of person, you know? And everyone's like, oh my God,

it's so cute and lovely having Carol back. Look how quaint. She has cones in her car. No, Carol is the person to go put a cone in a traffic, in a parking spot, in a mall. And then just leave and come back half an hour later and be like, well, I saved it. You cannot save it.

She's the type to, like, use her friend's handicap pass in her car to get closer parking. Yeah. That seems. Oh, what? Oh, no, it's just a hack. No, girl. Somebody needs that. Yeah, it's cheating.

I remember when Kim and Nini fought about Nini parking in the handicapped spot? Where is your scooter? Where is your scooter? I don't know 10 times almost cancer I almost have cancer like 10 times or something You just say I don't have cancer

You don't have cancer I could I could Where's your scooter Kim doesn't have cancer She's got bills She's got stacks and stacks of unpaid bills That's what Kim's got

Oh Kim's got a lot right now So Daisy is I don't even want to talk about That monster So Daisy is talking about growing up and how she used to smoke cigarettes outside and it was so fun and everyone else comes over and you know it's basically like wow that's an old person's home in brooklyn how fascinating just jessel is really late and um so they start doing this prayer stuff and jessel walks in

like hi hello wow another non-stellar place to live wow you're doing so well with this daisy You're consistent. Also, I think Jessel, someone told Jusel to bring macaroons like the coconut cookies because that's what Jews eat on Passover because there's no leavening agent in them. And I think she brought macaroons like the French colorful cookies that are made with almonds. Like, I think she, she was supposed to bring macaroons and she brought macaroons and just totally misinterpreted the entire situation. And Daisy's like, well, at least she, when she's late, but at least she brought me something. I'm like, sigh.

And you just see sigh showing up like, hi, yeah, I'm here. Oh, wow, look at this. This is like real Brooklyn. Damn. This is Brooklyn before it's trendy. She's shit. God. They haven't torn this down yet.

So I brought what she brings to every party, which is an attitude. That's what side brought. Terrible attitude. All right, let's have a cheers. To Daisy, to friendship, to love, to Passover. And just was like, how do you say it in Hebrew? Macaroon. Like, La Hiam.

Macaroon. Thank you. So, guys, can I just say this is going to be another classic Aaron, bitchy housewives moment. you know, Passover. It's so nice to be here. And also, Jocelyn was really mean to me a little today. Oh, and also I heard somebody called me boring. So I got a gift for you, Haley. And she's like, oh, really? What is it? She's like, you have to open it. It's a gun. Oh, all right. What is this? A jam subscription? Yeah. Because you called me jam. Oh, wow. You sure dissed her. You guys. Got her like a top of the line monthly jam.

Ooh. Yeah. Oh, no. I'm going to have delicious condiments for a whole year. Oh, how dare you do this to me, Aaron? This is the real plague upon us. It's not boiled. She said I was as boring as a grocery store, so I got her free groceries for life.

My shirt's all care. You know that Aaron. doesn't have good gays around her. Like, because you know, this is the kind of thing where she was like, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to get her a jam of the month club. And if she had a good gay who is her hair, a makeup person, publicist, whatever,

somehow in her life, it'd be like, no, girl, that's dumb, don't do that. But she had so, she had either a bad gay or someone else was like, yeah. That's, oh, my God. That's so funny. That's so funny. You have to do it. You have to do it. Oh, my God.

And not just any J. have an expensive one. Make sure it's expensive. That'll be even funnier. Yeah. And like... Yeah. Kill him with jamness. Yeah. No. Aaron. No.

She thinks she's funny and she's not. This is what drives me about Aaron. But that has become funny. That she's just so late. You know, like... I would like to give a speech. Okay. Well, before I even do that, I want to, like, you know, one big thing

that we talk about at Cedar Day. are plagues. So we're going to have a plague party, and then I'm going to award people a crown with a plague on it. What the fuck kind of party is this? No one. And they had actual plague crowns, so I guess that's a thing that people do. But wow.

If there was a gay, yes, party called plague, I would buy a ticket to that shit. You know that shit would slap. Girl, are you going to plague? Yes, I'll see you there. We're a harness. Bring poppers. It does sound like gay camp.

Like a plague party. What plague are you going to be? But this is, I didn't know that this was a real thing. So Aaron's like, okay, as they're eating your parsley, I want to tell you guys, everyone was riddled with plagues. And that was God setting a message. And Carol's like, oh, parsley? Yeah. Because they were talking about the slaves.

Like, okay, look, let's just get to the crowns. I'm going to hand out a plague that everyone's going to be. Okay, I'm giving flies to sigh. She's like, why? Because you like to eat. What she should have said is because you're a fly. Hello. Aaron.

That one was sitting right there for you. That was so easy, Aaron. But I like that she goes, because you like to eat. And Jessica goes, you do? It's like, bitch, don't you remember that was a whole storyline for an entire season? Like, Jessel, do you not watch the show back? Come on. It's so funny. So, Aaron's like, okay, and then Erica, I'm going to give you a frog because you jump around.

She's like, and frogs love tacos. Right. I'm going to give you darkness, Carol. Or is it Carol? You're going to be darkness because that can be chic. Yeah. to Haley, she gives Hale. And then she's like, well, actually, I was going to give you lies, Haley.

And she goes, and you know what? I'll come over and give it to your kids. And she goes, oh, Zinger. I mean. It was better than any of the plagues you've given out. Also, better than the jam, Aaron. Yeah. Better than the jam.

Oh, really? Zinger, I'm going to give you boils then. Boom, Aaron. And I'm going to be blood because I still have my period and none of you don't, you're old. Then she gives locusts

to Daisy and she's like, oh my god, locus are so cute. Thank you. And I'll be blood. So, wow, the plague party. No one does it quite like Aaron. So then we start fighting about the job. Are we fighting about jam now?

Okay, the jam of the month. So she gives her the jam, and she's like, I don't got a gem of the month? Well, now you'll have jam on your table at all times. Yeah, it's the jam of the month club. Hey, Leo, this is actually boozy jam. This is good jam. Thanks. I like that she, like, recognized game.

She was like, oh, like respect. Like, I respect that you did just get me cheap jam. And Justin was like, she hasn't paid for the jam. She still owes the jam. She still owes Mr. Smucker a million dollars for that fucking jam of the month. That jam is going to be repossessed. Lock your doors. Lock your doors.

It's a leachy jam. So Carol's like, what am I missing? I don't understand why we're passing around boogie jam. And she goes, it's because you said I'm boring. And he goes, yeah. Yeah. Well, you're calling me boring? Oh, well, listen here, hey, Lee.

I'd rather be boring than break up a marriage of a man with eight children. And she's like, what? Yeah, you're going to call me boring? Well, I don't add. I don't gift. I just have. So what do you have to say? Haley.

She's just like, uh, you're so sad, Aaron. You're so sad. Oh my God. And that is like some 20 year old bullshit. It's like, oh my. God, Aaron, you're not boring because you cheated on your spelling test in sixth grade. You know, like, girl.

Yeah. Find something new. Find something real. Yeah, Aaron. You proved that you're boring with your anti-boring rant. You got someone jam. That's just so fucking sad, but also hilarious. And I can't wait to watch Haley wipe the floor with Aaron.

She's not going to take this shit from Aaron. No, and I think that Haley is a crazy person. Like, I think she seems kind of like goofy and fun and whatever, but I think push to the brink, Haley is is fucking nuts. Oh, yeah, you know that Haley's had like three in the morning calls from Kate Gosselin like screaming at her. Like, you know, she's been through the fire. Yeah, Haley is not like, I think Aaron is mis, is under,

estimating her opponent. Yes, for sure. So I look forward to watching it. I've kept you here for an hour and 45 minutes. That's crazy. Thank you so much for doing this. Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

Oh, girl, we're just chat. Girl, we got to, where's your scooter? We got to Black Shabbat. We talked about Sad Island Ferry. You walk it all the way over Manhattan. We covered it all, girl. We got it in there. Brian Moylan.

Thank you so much for being here. Everybody follow Brian on Instagram. Brian J. Moylan. Also, his Vulture Recaps. Go to his link in bio on Instagram because there's a link to the vulture and there's a link to the substack with great Rhode Island

recaps and a book coming soon. But also, your other book is still out so people can go to your other book if they haven't already. I'd say probably yeah. You should get to it. Everybody, thank you. Brian, I love you. Thanks for being here. Bye, everybody.

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