Watch What Crappens - #3559 Below Deck Med S11E17 Part Two: Abbey Rode Hard

Episode Date: September 29, 2026

This is part 2 of a 2-part recapBelow Deck Med brings on the guy who owns the Abbey and his harem. Gen has finally found her people, but will they find enough protein? We’re back on tour Oct 3! Get our In the Mix tickets for your city at watchwhatcrappens.com. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, sign up for our free weekly newsletter and get ad free listening, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to watch our crap and it's a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you miss part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap. So then Joy is making lunch and dinner and she's like, oh, I protein, lean food, clean food. I'm going to cook a lot of carnival protein for them, even though they drink like five liter of alcohol full of sugar. Uh, muppie.

She gives us look like, these people are idiots, right? Do they not understand? So they- When it's liquid, joy. My gosh. Yeah. She needs to understand some gay, some gays. So then they serve tons of meat.

And Joy's like, uh, I hope I have enough meat, enough food for them. I'm like, you don't. You do not. You serve muscle gays. And, um, they- And she's serving stuff like chicken skewers. I mean, she's serving straight up meat. She is serving, which I thought they would appreciate, but they're like, yeah, this isn't enough protein.

So already they're saying this. And she is serving quite a bit of protein. So I thought, oh, no, she's fucked. Yeah, I mean, it's funny because the last charter, the primary wanted nothing but carbs. She was actually the first time ever, someone said, I only want to eat carbs. So now she's swung the other way into protein land. And then when that lady hurt her shoulder, Drew was like, It's because she does not have any protein.

Her bones are probably hollow. So it's karma. So then she's like, she then texts, she's running out of meat. And so she searches on their phone. She goes, how many grams of protein a day for intensive gym guy? Google's like, to maintain muscle for athletic males, approximately 200 grams a day. She's like, fuck. So she texts her provisioner.

but they can't get out to the boat with fresh protein until the next day. That's crazy. First of all, get a new provisioner. But second, they're docked. I mean, just can't you? I always wonder about this show. Like, can't you just put somebody on a bike and send them up to the AGB or whatever? I feel like the provisioner is just an intern on production.

And they're like, am I allowed to put in an order with with dagascinos for some chicken for them? They're like, no. Make them suffer. yes we want to watch these gays melt down we'll bring them down refuse them chicken so um now they're the swim platform and they're wearing speedos and stuff and what our toys are going out and um it's fun and they guess they're all frolicking and they're bandering with jen and um then they're doing one of those things like eye contact when you cheers otherwise bad seven years of bad yada yada yada yeah oh they're obsessed with jean and you know what she really does seem to have turned over a new leaf at the last second you know

there's a good person inside everyone sometimes it's just deeper deeper deeper deeper down and i like the gen goes well i bond really well with gay men because they love a messy straight woman i was like you know that's a fair point That is a very, very fair point. It is. I have to say, I don't think Jen is like a gay, Jen's not like a gay icon friend. And listen, you know, I have a lot of gay icon friends. I love a lady. You know, my best friends are all very extreme. I wouldn't, I wouldn't say.

I feel like Jen is someone that they're going to, if they see Jen at the Abbey, they're immediately going to start handing her trays and drinks. and asking her to like change the curtain for the drag show. And like they're gonna, she's like a worker bee for a gay, I think. Well, I think that she's just more like, she's like bait for gays as a televised persona. Like I don't think that she, I agree, I don't think that should be like someone that everyone wants to like gravitate towards at the Abbey.

But like we want to watch more of her on TV because she's a disaster. Yeah. Well, okay, I'll give her that. But she's also, everybody was like, oh my God, they're being so nice to Jen, because she's carrying the alcohol. Yes. She's carrying the only sugar they have access to. Yeah. Asia's talking to Sandy, and Sandy is about to have 36 years sober.

And that's an incredibly long time. That's as old as a middle-aged person. Yeah. That's a huge accomplishment. So then Sandy is looking at the Lazarette and she's watching Nathan and Joe interacting with each other, you know, picking up on things. And she can tell there's still tension. So then over in the crew mess, Coop and Cat are talking about what's going to happen after the season. And he's like, what are your plans for afterwards?

And she's like, um, when am I coming to Fort Lauderdale? He's like, um, I don't know. Whenever you visit, whenever you come to visit Jenna, I go. And she's like, yeah, well, come to stay with you. you he's like well i stay on a boat she's like um well i'll find we'll find somewhere or anything and he's basically trying to put up all these obstacles to like have her not come and she's like so you're saying you want me to come visit is that what you're saying well i don't know why she's getting these expectations from me oh my god here we go with cooper and his hurdley durn i don't understand

why she expects anything from me because you're you just told her that you want to be in a secret relationship with her and it's so hot to hide it from everybody and what are you acting like she's making stuff up in her mind it makes me crazy this fucking guy yeah he's like really getting away with it because he's like so like he's outwardly presenting as very sweet and goofy and seems like everyone likes him but he is low-key being so fuckboyish to her or at least leading her on um and she even says it late in the episode yeah and and he's being awful And you know, it's really good because Hannah, I talked to Hannah last week while you were gone on the bonus episode, Hannah Ferry, are from this show. And, you know, she was talking about how she went back on it for Aisha's Bachelorette party.

And she's like, oh, the nicest guy was Cooper. He was so sweet. And I was like, no. No, no, he is not. She's like, really? He seemed like he was such a sweet guy, honey. He fell for it. Yeah, well, by the way, shout out to Hannah's new podcasts.

by the way yes overshare yeah over share yesterday yeah so go yeah everyone go listen out support hannah the way he did make a good point yeah and she did make a good point where she said um you know i think anybody is nice as long as they're buying me drinks and i was like okay well that's fair also people can be very nice in different contexts people can be like wonderful as a friend but as a romantic prospect they're like a monster and it's it's that's a tricky thing to have to sort of of untangle, you know, like if you have just sort of like a surfacey interaction with someone or relationship with someone and they're like fun and nice, it's like, oh, they're nice. But if they are like leading some girl on, you know, it's like, well, I don't know them in that

way. Like how much, like, what do I, how much do I consider that and how much I like someone? It's very tricky. I mean, you know, it's easy to just sit here and be like, oh, he just sucks. But, you know, you meet someone in real life. You're like, well, they seem nice. I mean, look at all the freaking Bravo stars that we've encountered. They're all awful.

But we have fun with them. So then Sandy, that's true. You know, life is hard. It's complicated. Yeah, and they just met for two, you know, for one night, like two seconds. It wasn't. It wasn't a thing.

It's just, you know, you want people to see through it. Yeah. So the guests are getting ready for dinner. And tonight's theme is ski. It's an icicle ski theme. So I guess what we're saying is some, a bunch of people from the abbey are going to be leaning into snow for their dinner theme which it seems about right well if you have enough snow you don't even need to eat dinner and they would know just you know if you

just really enjoy that theme you know it's very easy yeah so captain comes out and you mentioned this before but they're working downstairs and she comes out and she's just standing above them looking down like oh this is me this is me doing something because i've got a sense. So she goes downstairs and she's like, how's it going with Nathan Joe? Has it gone? He's like, well, we work together, but it's tense, but, you know, I'm growing. I'm growing, eh? It's like, well, now listen, remember what I said this morning? If there is tension, pretend it didn't happen. It's gone. You know, life is so short. Just talk to each other. Just get it over with. You know, no matter what somebody does, you just forgive him, you know? I mean, Jesus did it. He had a happy life.

They killed him at 30. Really? I never finished that. that book God, do they have a movie of that? Let me tell you something. In recovery, we learn, you know, get it off your chest or whatever you have to do and, you know, resentment builds up.

You just, look, making amends his freedom. Okay, so when you cross paths again, there's no weirdness and you move on. It always works out that way. He's like, well, Captain Sunday has a very valid point. I'm carrying a lot of weight with the fucking Nathan situation,

and I'm going to do whatever I can to end this, and then be maybe a little passive aggressive and undermining afterwards. But this is either going to help us a little or it's going to make things really fucking bad. Joe's basically like, I have a chance to be Bosa next season,

you know, because Nathan's going to go be busy with this kid. So, okay, I'll go make up with Nathan for the 9,000th time this season. So then people are getting dressed for dinner. Joy is showing off all the way she's prepared chicken. and then Joe calls Nathan to the bow for a talk.

And he's, you know, like, oh, you know, I'm not against you. I respect you. And I respect you've got to family. And, you know, and this is where Nathan is just like giving him armpits and leaning backwards. That is just not the position of somebody who's giving a fuck about you, making them talk to your pits. Yeah. Yeah. So Joe says this kind of bullshit.

He's like, you know, you're just. think that I'm turning people against you and that's just not the case so I'm not going on board saying like oh he's fucking horrid or anything like that you have okay you haven't said that exact phrase but you have literally undermined him at every chance that you can get you have poisoned the entire workforce against him and this is not a defense of Nathan as a person but like you can't act like you've done nothing and you're sitting here being like oh I haven't blatantly said something like on the nose that you're terrible but you've been poison he's like that's all

I haven't been saying that and actually want you on our nights out and shit like that and I'm missing her little thing and that we used to be fucking best mate son so that may be honest like you miss your friend that's fair and Nathan's like I just think I'm in a I just think I'm in a different place in my fucking life

which is also one of the I'm a dad now I'm mature now I'm like oh god it's time for a commercial it's time for a crap and's commercial Yeah, I implicated somebody, and it came out to be like a little baby. So I know more about everything than you.

Then that's just it. That's, I won. So Joe's like, well, I haven't got a fucking baby that I know of. And I haven't got a fucking family. So that's where I've got to swallow me fucking pride, you know. And you've got a family. I appreciate it. And that's the weight I've got on my shoulder.

And Nathan's still armpitting him. He's like, well, thanks for saying that, hey. Yeah. Talk to my daddy armpits. My armpits are dads. And if you want to say something, I'm not going to go to bed crying or anything like that. So now it's your turn to say something that's also superficially, you know, sounds like it's something deeper than it is. And Nathan's like, well, I think I expressed enough. You know what I mean? Because I don't actually hold anything. I just say how it is. I was like, okay, neither of you guys are really saying anything. And I thought like, Joe, pretending like saying yes so I just I miss my buddy and but don't worry I haven't been turning

people against you and you have a kid now I get that so I understand it oh god I weights off my shoulders I was like what are you talking about you did not get anything off you there's no nothing was taken off like the rate off your shoulders is that like I really like you and I feel like you have this idea of me being like this and I do have resentment and yes I've had some stuff that I have to work through but like I miss my buddy and you know galley came along that like It was so, it was just also Pat. It was such bullshit. Yeah, it is.

And then Nathan texts Gail and tells her that he and Joe talked, and they decided they're going to work together. And Gail's like, that's probably for the best. So then at dinner, by the way, I also want to say that Joe says, like, I've set me peace. And I'm just going to let this weight go off my shoulders like Captain Sandy says. Let's just make this charter special. So he's basically like, I just did the bare minimum. So that way I can tell Captain Sandy, I followed her advice. And wow, I do have a weight off my shoulders.

You were right, Captain Sandy, and I will be your boats in next season. Yeah. He's just going to end it looking like the good person. So then we go to the dinner table and the guests are like, ooh, this food. Like, what is this lunch? It's supposed to be dinner. And another one's like, oh, the steak is chewy. The steak is chew.

Well, I got you new teeth. Yeah, but still, you're right. It is pretty chewy. All right. get i need six pairs of new teeth brought to the boat stat okay we're gonna be hungry in three hours from now um so uh joy is like they are eating in insane amount of chicken how many chickens live into brothnic i need them all this is also where she's serving them gigantic sandwiches and she's running out of chicken so she puts really thin slices of chicken on these sandwiches

and yeah it's not great eggs are also protein There's lots of protein. It's not just chicken. Maybe give them drinks that are protein shakes with some vodka and them or something. That's essentially what winds up happening. But also, like, why not, like, roast up like a few chickens and put out the beautiful display of roasted chicken parts? You know, that would have been a lovely thing to do. She's out of chicken.

I know. She should have ordered some whole chickens. Just start taking the neighborhood cats that we always see. on the show. Something, just anything. Just protein, Joy, do it. So then we go, and Joy, is like, oh, I just still ought to please them. What did you say? I said, where's Luke when you need him? He knows how to provide some protein. Oh, God, no kidding. Seriously, go scrape off Nathan's sheets. But Joy, it's like, oh, it is still ought to please them. Listen, Joy, I'm 90% on your side on this show, but you just serve them gigantic sandwiches for dinner. Like, what are you doing over there? And it's just

Like, it is hard. I mean, they're just used to lavish everything. You're on a super yacht. Come up, you guys. And I'm telling you this. They're not used to lavish everything. They just want steak and chicken. Just give them all a filet mignon or a rib eye, you know.

So now Kat is talking to her friend, Ishaun, and Ishaun's asking how Cooper is. And Kat's like, it's weird. Like, I don't know what's happening between us. But also, if he was the right one, he would be showing me off and, like, treating me like, queen and so eehan's like okay well let's make a let's let's do a list of like pros and cons she's like okay he's playing with my feelings that's a con but the pro is that i do like him he's like is that a pro or is it just a fact like that's not count as a pro yeah i like her honest friend and she of course doesn't listen she's like okay so you were saying don't get hurt

He's like, yeah. Well, I'm going to be honest. Like, he's been waving more red flags. Like, he just conquered a country. Unfortunately, part of me is still like a little bit optimistic. No. No, no, no, no. People who treat you like this don't improve.

This is just a bad treatment of people in general. Someone who makes you, like, lifts you up and then hurt your feelings basically on purpose to watch you scramble around and be hurt. It's another little, it's a Joe with a better, um, a. better base personality you know cute yeah i don't like i don't like this whole um he has so many red flags but i really like him guess what so does heroin okay doesn't mean you should therefore proceed you know like just throw yourself into it you know there are a lot of things that that we probably like that have but like the point is the red flags are there for a reason you know

what's nice enormous waves they're probably very exciting to look at but the red flag is there that way you don't go walking off into them and the wave crashes on you to die okay so like listen to the red flags because guess what you're gonna be crying next episode and we know you are because it's in the previews so either right for like half of these episodes now at some point it's like come on man and again i've been this person so many times and i'm just like stop walking towards the edge stop and then you just they just go yeah it's just but i tried to tell you it's just it's too much like and this happens so often i mean if it's not cat it's melanie and sincere it's everyone on love island quite frankly it's just it's a non-stop thing on every season of below deck

every season of every show like well there's like so many red flags but also like i can't help that we have a connection it's like you can connect with other things okay humans are like usb plugs they can go into a lot of ports so don't worry there'll be another option you're sure and nothing's more frustrating than when you have have the wrong connector. I mean, it is the worst. And I'm so glad they changed everything to USBC, but not enough things.

And then you're like, well, where's the other USB port? Oh, God, now I need a lightning port. What the fuck? And you're just like throwing everything around the office trying to find the right cord. It's nothing worse, okay? Don't do that with people. Exactly.

I have to tell you something. People feel like the wrong USB standard. Is it time to say this also that the conversion to like all USBC happened about three years ago? So why is it that like every hotel, every public charging area still has old fashioned USB ports? So you got your cute little USBC plug that you're like, yes, I've got the universal plug. It goes in everything. And everything is a fucking old USB port. Yeah.

Okay. It's time to pass some laws to make sure that that gets updated. then they'll change it again oh and also now they made everything USBC but then some things are USBC and some are Thunderbolt and some are high data USB so even though they look like the same cable they're not the fucking same cable I hate it's like oh no you need a high data Thunderbolt thing for this it just looks just like the USBC it's just a I hate that that there are certain things that require like a better USBC and it's like I don't you need to show me I mean maybe that was the the upside of having different shaped ports because you knew that this was

for the fast cable and that was the first slope but now they all look the same he plugged the wrong cable and the wrong thing and then things go mad it's so crazy and i'm sorry this below deck recap has turned into this but then show you ron is getting up for those who are just listening ron he's getting up to show something and he's coming he's coming back soon i'm excited i'm excited i'm excited because i just did this in my house i got the cable then it was the wrong thing it needed higher data so i finally had to get a folder to put my high data cables and and they say, data, USBC Thunderbolt. And I had to put him in a separate bag.

So I'm not running around here cursing out the heavens. I mean, what the hell is USBC? You could also get those things that just like attached onto the cable. Like then you can write high. That way you don't have to put it in a cable and into its own bag. But I appreciate the organization of it all. Well, whatever. Anyway, the point is below deck.

And just dump Coupe already. He's never going to respect you. He's an asshole. And whoever ends up with him. him is going to end up with a guy who's all everyone is like, what do you mean? He's treating you like shit. He's such a fun guy. We all love him.

And then you're like, no, but he's not nice to me. Like, what? He's so nice. And then barbecues. He's like, oh, and he's the most popular guy there when he's really emotionally fucking you over every second of the day because he gets off on watching you cry in some way. And also like the bullshit with him is that here he is like, oh, I don't like the pressure. I don't like the pressure people out.

asking me about us. Oh, God, we got to keep it secret. Meanwhile, he's up here on social media posting with joy, inviting all the scrutiny of the entire internet. So we all, that also just goes to show that that was all bullshit that he does. It's the whole he doesn't want to deal with the pressure of it all. Please. Yeah. So then we go to the jacuzzi and everyone's gone to bed and Jen goes to make tequila shots. Well, I think the people haven't gone to the bed. She's hanging out with the, guess isn't this one they're all in the jacuzzi it's a lot of people in that yeah this is there's one oh my god I loved this like at one point they all start squeezing themselves into the jacuzzi but there's a one guy there's one guy left I think it was Corey the guy who no one wants to sleep with and like Corey's like having some issue with his like bathing suit like his butt comes out and everything's like oh and then Corey it keeps cutting back it may not happen here but it keeps cutting back of this like process of Corey getting into the into the

into the jacuzzi and like as he's like about to get in. We hear them like, Corey. And then he gets in there like, oh, they make this like joint like sigh of like congratulations together that I thought was so, so funny. Oh, Corey did it. Wow.

Poor pathetic cohort, Corey, with his dick falling out right in front of everybody. Well, he finally made it into the hot tub. So then Tristan gets really gross. He's like, yeah, all my boyfriends have a ring and it comes with GPS tracking. So I know where they are at all times. You want to be one of my boyfriends? Joe, I'll put the ring on you. You don't have to work anymore.

We offer a 401k. I always say my clothes are cheap and my boyfriends are expensive. I'm Tristan. CEO of everything gay. You're a creep. You're a creep. I thought I'd be...

I thought this was a normal seven-person polygamous relationship. But no, that's psychotic. So now they're dancing. They're having fun. Mark my words. One of these boys is going to write a book one day that's going to be like really a tell all about Tristan and how gross he was.

Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. So then the guests, they're hungry. They want some snacks. So Jim brings out sandwiches and deviled eggs and a fruit plate. And they're like, we need protein. There's no protein here. It's like all bread.

We need protein, which I get their frustration because they requested protein and all they want is protein. But there's also part of me that's like, you're on a yacht on vacation. just live a little bit. Okay, you don't have to have protein with every single meal. Yeah, but they've had this huge bread for every meal. Every meal so far, she sent out gigantic sandwiches, and it's like, what are you not understanding here? Where I was really shocked was that they were even eating,

they were even requesting protein because usually when, like we said earlier in the recap, when West Hollywood Gades get drunk, it's straight to the carbs. So I was surprised that they were like, oh, we need protein now. It's like, you're not drunk enough. You guys need to be drunker. That's the only reason you're requesting protein. I know. And I love that Jen's like, um, this is all we have, but I can bring you more protein bars.

So she brings them all these protein bars. They're so happy. Yes, protein bars. She's like, I love gay men. I was getting along with, I was getting along with gay men and they like, they, they just demand a lot. And that's, they want a lot and they'll speak their mind. And I appreciate the bluntness.

I don't think that she would appreciate the bluntness if it was aimed her way. I'll tell you that much. Yeah. So it's the next morning. Joy gets a text from fucking Luke. Has Luke even left town? Luke is still thirsty. No. He's still texting her every day. He just wants to come back on TV. I don't think he ever left. What do you think? No, I don't think so either. So they have, it's time for breakfast, which is, you know, filet and tomato. And I believe Joy made bagels. They said it was like boat made bagels. I'm like, Joy made those bagels. That's crazy. We saw it earlier in the season that she just, like casually made some bread and they stopped focusing on it but i'm like bagels are a process there's like multiple rises there's like a boiling and a baking if she made those from scratch on the boat and then she served these bagels to these carb hating men i feel like that is such a sad waste it really is it is a sad sad waste and so they're like oh my god it's still too much bread

this is too much and she's like what are these fucking guys lions oh god these guys are fucking lions. He's like, and then one of the guests goes, I think it was Corey, goes, what do we want? Gay rights and also more protein. So they're like, yeah, joy, she comes up and she's like, anything I could get for you?

They're like, no more bread, okay. Protein, we want protein, no carbs, more protein. Yeah, she's like, okay, then for tonight filet me, and crispy chicken, I know that you are very disciplined with your body. I respect it. I can see it.

Look at your body. You're so big. Oh, you're so big. Lion. I don't have to question it. I'm playing the game, for real. Okay, don't worry. You don't worry.

Like, Now I just need the chicken to arrive on the boat and then I'm going to have a warm limit protein, even though the body cannot process that much protein, which is her way of saying,

like, you guys are idiots. More protein does not help you. you're at your limit. Now they go to the beach and snorkel and stuff like that. And Joe and Cooper are with them. Kaley's also there. But Joe and Cooper, they're like, oh, my God, you guys are so hot. You guys are so hot.

Meanwhile, before the guys go there, Tristan's like, wow, this boat is like how the ultra wealthy live on like an outdated penthouse. Oh, God, what are we, Zha, Jaguar? You watch it. You guys are all going to be an outdated penthouse soon enough. Um, so you're so close, Tristan. It's just funny. It's like you have all these young boyfriend.

You pay for all these young guys. Like you basically buy people that are like young and put new teeth in them. And then you act like you're one of them just because you can afford them. Babe, you were like five steps away from Zsaja. So. Watch your mouth. You talk about Zaja. Yeah.

Um, yeah, yeah. Jaja. Don't bring Zaja into this. Okay. shoes here comes one right now so aisha so yeah yeah oh you yeah oh you and she's like honestly it really wasn't that bad last night gays love me she's like oh well it's so good having you a nice sister daughter because i feel like you deal with him so well and jenn tells us this feels so good like now i'm getting the recognition i deserve like honestly when it comes to elevating guest experiences

I'm that bitch. I'm the best. Sorry. I'm that girl. So now the guests are all drooling over Kup and Joe. And Joe's like, well, this isn't the first time a gaggle of men have asked me to put on a speeder. We've all got our skill sets. And they're like, we'll give you $1,000 to do body shots off Kup and Joe.

I'm like, sure. And they're like licking them up and down doing the body shots. Yeah. and Joe sweaty is like giggling whoop and Joe I know coop is giggling he's like giggling he's and so everyone's being silly and everyone's having fun Joe goes in they're like oh my god Joe you have to save Corey he's drowning so Joe is like in his speedo and he like does this like Baywatch dive off of the boat but unfortunately he forgot that he's in shallow rocky water and his head crashes into a rock which is actually

incredibly scary and his he comes up bleeding he's like home bleeding oh god i dive straight into a rock and i got my face open this is not a good look is it yeah um and so now they have to go back to tend to jo's face and um then we go to the galley and luke sends joy a video message now oh my god gee i wonder if you want something oh i just got home from a lovely dinner and there were some delicious vegetables on the plate and it made me think of you. I hope you're having a wonderful almost end of charter. Chow.

Clearly using this is so gross. I mean, this guy is just clearly using. He is just bad news all the way around. I do not trust this man. And it makes me sad that that joy is totally falling for it. So the guest return. And then Asia and Sandy have a very nice scene, Asia presents Sandy with like a little necklace. It's a gift to celebrate 36 years sober

and also an anchor. And so Sandy starts reflecting on being clean and talking about what her life was like and she starts getting choked up. And it's, it's very nice. It's very moving. And, you know, it's, and then it segues into Asia talking about how her mom is an alcoholic and how Growing up, there was a lot of uncertainty and fear and apprehension. And this is two very honest moments about something very serious and otherwise frivolous episode. So it was a lovely little moment here. God, there was a lot of heavy stuff in this one because then there was Joe's dad, too.

It's a lot of heavy stuff in this episode. So then Jen is like, oh, my God, Joy. Hi, it's me. Gay icon Jen. Yeah. Just wanted to offer to help wash your dishes because I'm a good person. now. I mean, if you guys would have told me two days ago that I was offering to help dishes for joy, I would have been like, what are you talking about? But you know what? Like, I'm even staring at

the luke flowers right in front of my face. And it doesn't even bother me at all. Like, it's me. It's a new Jen. Wow, Jen. You are a national hero. You were able to wash dishes in the presence of flowers that were given to joy by a man that you once left with. How do you do it? How do you do it? Yeah. Yeah. So it's a big one. So then Tristan on the main deck is telling Aisha that he's invited Caitlin. That's my flight attendant. Yeah. I've joined her to, I've invited her to join us for the rest of the charter. I mean, she's pretty, she's young, a terrible flight attendant, but like she's pretty fun. You know, we just need a girl that's fun with the gays. Wait a minute. Did I not, did you not see me holding a basket of protein bars? Gays love me. I'm assuming the flight attendant is the drag queen. I'm just going to put that out there. So then now they decide the guests are like, you know what we should do?

Let's go on the water slide. So like, yeah, let's do it, you know? So Tristan goes down first and then Vitor. They're all like sort of like running and getting on it. And then Vitor, now it's Vitor's time. And he goes running up. He's this like, he's this like triangle shaped muscle man. And he goes running up all excited.

And he goes up the little staircase to go like fling himself down this and boom, his forehead clips the top of the deck and he's like, a boom, he gets thrown back. And it's, it was definitely like, I winced. I was like, ooh! I mean, I giggled because it was slapstick and then I winced.

But man. Well, the best part. He's like, oh my God, am I bleeding? Am I bleeding? He's like, I'm bleeding. I don't know. Go to the bathroom. So he goes to the bathroom

and then he comes running back out. He's like, I'm bleeding. And I get the horror because, like, you're basically, Tristan, you're a product, you know what I mean at this point. And Tristan's like, I, Captain Sandy, could we have a replacement. We've got a broken noob, so we're going to need replace him. I don't want to look at him. He's broken. Yeah, seriously.

But, like, and it's scary, but also the way he's like, I am bleeding. It's just like, the path. in his face and his eyes but like also like oh my god oh my god where's mom so he is actually bleeding quite a bit and there's blood on the slide and there's blood on the deck there's blood everywhere it's not good and mossy is like yeah how do we how do we keep uh injuring the guess first we broke my lady's shoulders and then now this guy pop his head open two in a row this is giving final destination vibes yeah i think it's even scarier than final destination because i think for the first time this guy is actually having to think of like what if I have to get like a job

what if I'm not pretty anymore yeah exactly look did it get my nose so um they're like oh my god get the medic and captain sandy's attitude through this was cracking me up because she can't really hide stuff on her face like her face doesn't move a ton but she was just like oh yeah all right i'll call a medic um medic we've got a uh a screaming gay please just get here just just just just get here. It's gonna be. We are playing Dan Ceteria to calm him down but we're not sure how long it can last.

Okay. He did say he wasn't sure who Madonna was. So it's like, oh my God, the medic's here. He's like a sexy teacher. Like, I could do that. Like, he was like hot enough. Like, I've had a teacher. Like, do I look okay? Do I like, okay?

So the medic comes on and this guy's like, am I dying? He's like, no, you're not, you're not dying. But it's very serious. serious? I'm my door still up a face? Am I still pretty? And he's like, they're there. Now we're just going to do some very, we're going to have you sit down over here. We're going to put a very serious little band-a-in on your head. He's like, oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, God, it was the carbs. I knew I shouldn't have had the carbs.

We would have been stronger and we had more protein. So he's okay. And they're like, they're like, yeah, do you want to go lie down? He's like, I want to go line out. So he goes off, which by the way, he's about 10 times more composed than I would have been. I would have been like, oh my God, get me to the hospital right away. I think my skull is fractured. So, well, just the juxtaposition of this guy on the slide and Joe just like jamming himself into a rock and being like, I'm fine, fine. Like blood's coming down his face. And he's like, oh, I'm doing fine, everybody. You still want to do body shots off of me. And then this guy, Eddie, goes up to Coup. And he's like, hey, we want to share you too.

He's like, oh, well, if only I swang that way. He's like, you don't? He's like, no, just for Joe. What he said just for Joe? That shit was funny. So then Joe gets a text from Luke, and he's like, call me, mate. It's very important. Listen, I'm in Croatia.

I want to surprise Joy. So you guys are absolutely going out for your little last hurrah. Tell me where you guys are so I can try to keep it. I want to creep in. Absolutely. I knew it. I knew you were still there. I knew it too.

He's been just coming all over, you know, the Game of Thrones tour spots, you know? He's like just going in there splutting all over like Circe's cave and then the shame path. Although he did say he was plowing into Dubrovnik in a text earlier this week. By the way, can I say something before this? Because this episode's about to wrap up. But I almost forgot to mention this when we talked about Joe at the dinner the night before turning halfway and being passive aggressive. Let's not also forget that Joe had that moment where he was like, Cooper is the best person I've ever had a, I've ever been a roommate with.

He's truly like an older people I've ever been roommates with. He is absolutely the very best. He is the one who's been the kindest best person of all the time. That was pretty, that was, that was a nasty thing to do right there. And he knew what he was doing. And that definitely set the tone for the later confrontation. So let's not forget that moment. I'm just retroactively.

I mean to get that in before. They're both fucking horrible. They're both fucking horrible. And that's so anyway Joe and Joe and Nathan both fucking suck. What are you gonna do? Yes. So either way, Luke is gonna come surprise, surprise Joy. And Joe's like, I know how much Luke care for joy.

How sad he was to leave her. I'm like, did he care for joy? Because last time I checked, the person that he fucked was Jen. So maybe we should rewind that tape a little bit. Yeah, whatever. All right, this fucking show. This is great season. This is the time, and it has been a great season, but I'm also like, okay, wrap it up.

This goes on for a long time to show. I mean, 18 episodes, how many months? But I feel like this season, every episode, there's been something significant that's happened. And honestly, I think last season of Down Under was phenomenal. And so I feel like between that and this, we've had like 36 weeks of top tier below deck, which is what we deserve. Because I know that you didn't like the one with the, uh, Salane. her name saline i know you didn't like that one i thought that was pretty decent yeah i hated that's been like a pretty solid um a pretty solid run for below deck it's a good one yeah it's a classic

well i think yeah we're i think we're in the middle of a great stretch and now it's up to below deck to keep it going because now classic blow deck is up in two weeks well tom will tell us tom's going tell us all right everybody thank you so much for being with us uh go get tour tickets uh especially for Kansas City and Chicago coming up and then Minneapolis and Detroit right after that in October. And we will talk to you guys next time. Bye. Bye. Watch what Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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