Watch What Crappens - #357: Sur Wars: Rogue Scheanna

Episode Date: December 21, 2016

Vanderpump Rules churned out an instant classic this week with dueling surprise parties and a raging Stassi, and Top Chef killed the radish game. Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Also, check out Ronnie’s new TrashTalkTV RHOBH Audiobook podcast at tttv.podbean.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to a very special Christmas watch what crop up. I'm Ronnie Caram from Trash Talk TV, and my new real housewives of Beverly Hills audiobooks podcast, Trash Talk TV, or HOBH podcast. Go look at that, guys. I'm with the gorgeous Ben Mandelker of the Peaceide blog and the banter blender. Pen darling. Darling, I am drinking my ice coffee with some rum chata in it today.

I'm not even. It's not even new. Are you really drinking rum chata? Yeah. I've been drinking rum chata all the time. I have a girl I like. I've been drinking since 10 a.m. because you know what? I don't know if Krampus is going to come from your nod. So if he does, I am going to be drunk.

Good for you. I am not drunk because I'm over here in Austin, Texas. I'm going to go hang out with my family after this. And we get drank together. Oh, you how long? I do have lots of beverages. I have half of a coffee left. I've got a diet coke zero or coke zero or whatever cigarettes weed toothpaste Phone computer candle and the glass of water. I'm ready to go Yeah, I I've got my room chata. I got a think thin bar ready to go You know, I love me to think in bars. I need it. I need need it. I need it. I need, because I need, I've been thinking thin, but acting fat, I have to say. I think fat max thin, it's weird. Everybody to find the all of our links or personal links or social links or links that we're going to tell you about right now, just go over to watch it.

Crappens.com. It's all listed there. For a community, go over to facebook.com slash watch it crapens. Those comments on the live show threads are hilarious. And those happen for pretty much every show we cover. People just watch together and comment. So go over there. And if you want to become a premium, subscribe all and get all our bonus episodes You can go to patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends and Just on that note. We just did our married to he married to medicine Houston We did not barely even talk about that show today. Today we talked about Christmas movies, games, Christmas break, family,

things we were miserable, survival, survival, land, good stuff for there. So go listen. And also, next week is our Google Hangout for subscribers. And that will be on the 28th. We're going to have a pull up on Facebook to, for you guys to decide what time we're gonna we can do in the day we could do it night we were thinking since its vacation maybe we'll do a daytime. Yeah, I didn't I was saying like personally I would love to do it sort of in the morning because I'm gonna be on vacation my family so I'd love to be able to do the hangout and then have the rest of the day but I'm flexible because it's not really doing anything so I can do I can do a hangout in the evening but I personally if everyone can do it in the morning,

that would be lovely for me. Let's check it out in that Facebook. We'll check it out. It's all about having a dialogue, people. It's all about having a dialogue. Yeah. So Ben, what do you want to do now? Well, I have announcements.

Do it. This is not, this is actually not your typical housekeeping section. And if you fast forward it over this, you will be missing out because we have three significant announcements. This is not just like, by the way, we've added something on Twitter. These are three significant announcements about this podcast coming up for next year. Okay. It's a preview of an announcement. It's a preview of an announcement. Everyone get excited. It's an announcement, man. They're OK. So we are growing our podcasts.

We are making it bigger and better and more exciting. And we are just next year, our hope is just to explode all over the place. It's like one big, one big, jizzy podcast moment. It's the room chat I'm speaking. So first things first, I think the most exciting thing is that we're gonna go on a tour. Like a quadrilo tour.

We are planning to bring to the live show of watcher crappens to about four places outside of Los Angeles across the country. That's so exciting slash nerve-racking, but also fun sighting. Yeah, it's fun sighting, but the thing is, we don't know where to go. We are, so we want to pull all of you guys,

sort of get a sense from you guys of where would be a good place. Like we think probably New York, probably the New York area, but we wanna hear like other places, and should be Chicago, should be Florida, should be wherever. Like where we wanna engage interest of where people can get to, where a lot of people are interested in coming to see us,

and where it'd be easy for people to come see us too. So let us know, I guess we'll probably open up a thread on our Facebook page, not long after this. So that's announcement number one. And you can also just tweet us at watch or at what crap ends on Twitter. Just tweet where you want us to go. Tweet, tweet, we're going to be like Matt Lauer. Where in the world is watch where crap ends?

I'll be a broker. I'll be a broker in the middle of his weight loss. Here's our next announcement. This actually is probably a bigger announcement than the first announcement if there can be such a thing. Starting in the new year, we are going to be going to five days a week of watch or crap ends. That is crazy. It is crazy. Our episodes are going to be shorter, but it's going to be five days. So instead of having like an episode that's two and a half hours, that's covering three shows, what will happen is we'll have a Sean Monday, that's probably about just one show.

And then on Tuesday, it'll be about another show or might be two smaller shows combined. The point is it's going to be a, you'll have content all week long and it'll be sort of easier to digest. And this way also if you don't really care about a show that we're covering, this way you can just you don't have to worry about that episode. Yeah, just pick the shows you want to the episodes that you want to download based on the shows you watch. It's just going to be so much easier for all of us. But that being said, if you are on Patreon and you are subscribing, you are supporting us at a certain amount per show,

make sure you check your monthly caps because we don't want to take advantage of you. We don't want you to suddenly get a bill at the end of the month being like, what the fuck? There was like all of a sudden there's like, we did 9,000 shows this year. Yeah, it's like 20 episodes and you're like

in the hole for like, know $200 like just make sure you You know, so we we love all the support, but we also don't want to we don't want to you know Take advantage of the situation so to check your caps um And then we have another announcement which is the smallest of the announcements, but it's what is it? I'm so excited. I forgot what this one was. I know. This is a fun small announcement.

It's not really an announcement. But basically, we're trying to put together a super cut of our best moments of the show, because it'll help us with advertising and stuff. So tweet at us, or we'll open up a thread on Facebook, of what have been some of your favorite moments in the past. I would say the past like six or nine months on Watch for Crappens. And if you can mention the episode and if you could even get a timestamp that'd be awesome,

but you don't have to, but let us know in episode where we were joking about something in particular that you guys thought was really funny or were talking about anything. Because we want to call all those things and do like a two-minute Supercut. Yeah, basically we have so much fun with Watch With Crappens. We're trying to do it every moment of our god damn lives. Yeah So here's to 2017 Mother Trucks Here's to 2017. It's really really exciting. Um wow. It's almost, it's almost, I would wager, it is almost, almost, almost as exciting as the crap ends, mailbag. How have you missed you? What's in there, Bean? I'm just going in random order here. I feel bad because we don't really read these ahead

of time. So when people say like, can you wish someone so happy birthday? It's like three weeks later. We're like, oh, yeah, sorry. Nevertheless, I'm not going to change my ways. Michael Horn says, assuming that everyone is returning to real housewives of Orange County next season, unless something is announced before you get a chance to answer this, what do you guys predict will happen? Impressions are welcome since I already miss the Shannon voice. What do you think will happen, Ronnie? Story line wise or like who's going to come back?

I think who's going to come back? Or I guess it could be both really, like it could go either way. Well, I think that they're gonna keep everybody, but I like the housewife, after hating them, even Tamra, I like her. So I think if anyone's in danger, we know Megan's not coming back.

I think that Kelly is crazy enough to come back. And the only ones up for being fired really are Tamra, because she hit somebody, but I don't think they'll fire her. And Vicki could always be on the cross, because she's just terrible. I mean, and we saw this year how mean she is to production staff. She's like, oh oh have that removed. I don't like that Change the door. I won't shoot that. I'm going to I'm the lace or what?

I'm going to the Kelly and Design sort. Yeah, they're all terrible human beings But somehow I think they're all gonna make it back and they'll probably add one more to replace Megan. Yeah Well, Megan's obviously not coming back I I would like to think that Kelly Dodd is coming back because she was so galvanizing this season But I have a sneaking suspicion that she won't only because I feel like there may be some Claudia Jordan stuff going on, you know, I feel Claudia Jordan stuff going on, you know, I feel like she really pissed off some key players and including Andy I think that Andy does not like I think I feel like Andy

Probably felt like Kelly made it very coarse and crude this season and and sell it the brand And you know, you know Andy has this guy who gets drunk and high at work every exact time and plays tick games Guy forgets drunken high at work every time and plays tick games. Exactly. No, I point well taken. And that's what I think is that's what makes me roll my eyes. I mean, this is all theoretical. This is all my head. But I wouldn't be surprised if Kelly got gets the act because Andy has favorites and his favorites seem to really. Hey, Kelly, but then again, Vicki likes Kelly. So you never know, I think Vicki will be fine. But either way, I'm excited. I'm sure there'll be next season, there'll be a lot of unveiling of the mall house kind of stuff.

And I bet there'll be a lot of Shannon trying to repair her image. So she's gonna try, she's gonna double down on happy go lucky Shannon. Like here I am, fireman Shannon, we're going to fireman training. Like here I am, I'm dressed in a fireman's costume I'm just so spontaneous and funny. I'm so happy with Firemen You've uncorked me David Fire man

You've uncorked me David I She's so great. I'm so happy and go lucky. I wouldn't set up anyone right David Oh Shannon I can't wait for to have a little sand and back in my life. I know. Mandy Bulls says, uh, okay, this is, this is going to require some creativity, I think. Luann's talking with Sonia about her upcoming nuptials over drinks at the Regency. Luna, could you believe it? Nupials? What are we going to have?

Mona, from who's the boss over here is their conversation and walks over to give Louanne love advice. What does Mona say? What does that conversation sound like? Oh my God, wait, Mona comes over to Louanne. Yeah, Mandy is like, I'm gonna throw a wrench in this. I'm gonna bring Mona from who's the boss in. I think we need some Catherine Helmand in the mix. I think we're being tricked and Catherine Helmond is suing us for stealing her voice to De Luanne. This is just like some tape proof that we're giving right now.

She come to the Catherine Helmond walk so Mona comes over and and basically tells the tells the way and you're being crazy. I don't remember. I don't remember the things that Mona would say, but I can just imagine the one who's like the sletti grandma. She would be like, well, I'm just up from the basement. I mean, it's hotter down there than it is up here. That's for sure. Would you believe it? She's questioning who's the boss. I mean, Tom's the boss. I thought that was obvious. I'd like to just put another housewise fight on it because I don't think Catherine Helmond would go up to Lou Ann at all. I think she would see her and be like, who's that awful woman with a man face?

But I think she would go up to her if she like stole her chair or something, like, excuse me, dear, I was coming out of the bathroom after performing in a broadway play. And you're sitting in my seat. So, would you believe it? This woman is trying to take my seat. This is the seat that was given to me by Tom Etune. Would you believe it? People often ask me, who's the boss, dear? Mother is the boss. Please tell me this isn't about Tony. Please tell me this isn't about Tony. It's about Tony dear. Oh god. Tony is done so darling. You know my favorite cookie is Milano cookies like a little Milano sold at Agcinos. Would you believe it? Little Milano's at Agcinos. Get away from

them. That's so nice over there. Like I used to eat those cookies. I enjoyed those cookies until you ate them out of my home. Now I don't know what to do. Should I even try and eat those cookies anymore? Are those cookies just out? Am I just not ever going to have cookies again? It's strange, you know, because for like 10 years I was eating those cookies and now it's, you know, I'm happy that Leuand found Milano cookies, but you know, I like them too, and I just want to be happy for Leuand, but it's it's really awkward right now between me and the cookies. I'll tell you where it's awkward between girls. It's like Mona just making sex jokes. There's a time for Tom and a time for Tom making the Tom most Tom, Tom, Tom. That's my version of your song Mona. Hi Luan.

I'm hearing out who's this? This is Mona from Who's the Boss? Who's the boss who? Shut up bitch. Shut up. Tell me how you know about West Borchan to get bitch. How you know about Fairfield bitch? Bitch, how do you know about the Mary Parkway?

How'd you get to your home, bitch? What else isn't that damn mailbag being? Let's see, Bethika Jones. I'm doing this one because I don't think we've read from him, Bethika Jones before. Oh, I think so. All right, Bethika Jones. Hey, guys, Silicon can get over what Caroline's Danbury said. So in that light, I have a question. Okay. The Titanic is sinking. I love that transition. I just can't deal with what Caroline's Danbury said. Anyway, the Titanic is sinking. But there is only one

lifeboat left with room for just one housewife franchise, which most current housewives franchise do you save? Mind you that you are saving the entire cast, so no mixing cast, and which ones do you leave to their freezing cold water egrades in the middle of the North Atlantic? And how would you rank the housewife franchise by class, they would fit into the scheme of things

on board the Titanic, like Jesus, okay. Workers are shoveling, the workers, I mean to me this is very obvious. I saved York Yeah, I think I would save New York based on this year. I would save New York as well That was legit hilarious every single time and last week out Melbourne I would count I would save Melbourne over anything because that went up every time I die I save New York over Melbourne Even how dare you sir Melbourne is funny, but they go through

stretches where nothing happens but they go to a West Elm and then they like whisper about things and then nothing happens. You know when Melbourne explodes they explode but there's actually a lot of down time on that show and those episodes are longer than normal so I still say New York. New York they'll have two epic fights in an episode consistently. Okay, well, I'll say Melbourne, but because I think that we should agree that real housewives of New York will win on the Titanic because the Melbourne ladies just aren't on long enough to save. Like, yeah, you'd be saving something that's shorter. So I would like to savor the Andy's mint that is real.

I don't know why I said that. That is real housewives of New York. So said that. They're like, I like that. They're all housewives of New York. So, okay, I'll just... And you know what they actually, and you know if they actually were on the Titanic and all these castra on, you know New York will be the only one to get on to lifeboats

because Ramon would probably go up to the Melbourne women and be like, hey, hey, you know what's crazy? I just heard, there's like an extra big lifeboat at the tip of the boat. You have to go all the way to the tip, the part that's rising up, that's where all the lifeboats are. You shouldn't go there. And I'll just take care of this lifeboat here. I'll go into big lifeboat at the tip of the boat. You have to go all the way to the tip, the part that's rising up, that's where all the lifeboats are. You shouldn't go there. And I'll just take care of this lifeboat here.

I'll go into crappy lifeboat. You go to the one all the way to the tip there. Just go, don't ask any questions. No, Lydia, you just go, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but this lifeboat doesn't work. And then they all go away. And then Nier just like steals the lifeboats and paddles off.

Probably just Ramona. Nobody would make it out except Ramona. She'd be telling everybody to go get on the ones with holes. You know, you know, Gina meanwhile would be at the tip of the boat as it's rising up. It's like, all right, I said right to that ice book. I said get out of this path right this instant. And guess what? The Titanic moved right by it. It got on the way for the Titanic. No, Gina, the Titanic scene. No, it's not. I told that I get out of the way and if they're just on off to Ireland it's I said that's what happened. It's like water after her face. I saved it with my brand. This is no longer called the Titanic. It's called the Mytonic which is a freedom brand of Gina vacations.

It may look like I'm going down with the boat, like the captain, but guess what? I'm not because I'm fearless in Bavito. Now listen here, this boat I told you move with me boat. I went down and the boat followed. We're going down because I told this boat to go down. I said we're going gonna have lunch with Leo Who's also got one name like me because he's a brand We're gonna be at the bottom of the ocean to find that necklace She corrected it only through over there when she was yelling yelling at gamble and Gamble's like, oh woofie. We should get out about. Oh look they're playing our song the violin is a playing, oh woofie, we should get out of the boat. Look, they're playing our song.

The violin is a playing our song. Woofie, we're dance woofie. I love it, I'm the actor. I'm never bored. She's rolling around on the deck. I mean, while peda-flers just having a pity party, that's okay. You can break on boat.

I'm used to it. Just sink the boat like you sink all my hopes and desires. I'm used to it. Or that iceberg broke this boat like my son has broken my heart. It figures that I would spend $250,000 on a piano for it to just sink into the ocean. I'm used to it. I'm used to it. And Jack is like, this one over here is crashing into ice bags.

This one over here is trying to get under a lot though This one over here is playing violin music while everyone's thinking this one over here standing on the top there This one over here is jumping off and hitting the propeller Or just walking around complimenting everything Chicken I love how it's all vertical now how innovative. All right, Ben. Close up that boat. Close up that boat with a little mailbag. Oh, our mailbag will go on. I'm just I'm just imagining Jackie talking to the captain so captain Lee and captain's like all right

Can you tell me if there are any icebergs him up? I can't tell you that all right I'm not just gonna tell you about icebergs all right. I have to feel it. I'm not gonna do that The angels are telling me something but they're not gonna tell me right now because what the angels do if they take the time All right captain can you just come back for another dinner or another time all right. That's all you and the ready. She goes like, I really like the iceberg actually. I think it's a lot. I think it's swell. I think it's wonderful. Now iceberg, iceberg. What did you do to the boat? What did you do? All right. You were a very naughty girl. I spig. Listen, we know you're a good girl, but we wish you didn't lie about him the Titanic, I beg. Now let's have some tea, I beg.

You see that show will live on forever in our hearts. Nearer, wherever they are, Yes, nothing will go on. Now, guys, I'm proud to announce that Vanderpromp rules is amazing. Yeah. Episode seven. I mean, this is season five, episode seven. It seems like these people are tired, they're fillered out, they bowtogged everything.

They've all got brand new teeth that don't fit in their mouth. I mean, what a bunch of fucking losers. They need a nap and they are doing such a great job. You know what? I say Bravo to the cast, no pun intended, and Bravo to the producers because last season of Interpreter rules was fun in the way that it's inherently fun, but it wasn't, there really wasn't that much going on. But this season, the producers are like, okay, we need to like rejigger this.

We need to get it back to its original mojo. So what do we do? Let's put Stasi and the horse faces back together again. Let's find ways that they can pick on Shina. Let's give them an enemy in Lala and let's set them loose. And they've done that. And the show is back to being pure pettiness. Like if you were to describe what happened last night's show, if you'd listened to yourself, and I know this, because I did it last night, I described the episode, it is so petty and so silly, it's exactly what we want from the show. And it makes it better that they're all too old for it.

Yeah. They're just pathetic at this point. The quotes that they say that you're gonna hear us say are so brilliant in their stupidity. All right, so let's start at the beginning. Ariana's going into work and that's the sanest thing, you know, it's like the sanest person on the show. So you know it's gonna be the craziest show, you know.

It's starting with Ariana. So she walks in and says, hi to Lala. And she's like, Hey, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't know. I missed the bubbles part. I think I was just looking at the fact that they're both wearing black. She said it in her same baby voice that she says, I mean, mama, mama, yeah, she's like, hi, bubbles and Arianna is like, I found this little flower outside for you. And I was like, that is, I really like Arianna because she's just so worried about what she's thinking. Like, I'm supportive of you, but don't ever ask me for money. Like getting a flower from outside is a cheap date

thing. Like, I was just thinking of you. Yeah. Here's a flower. I stole, you know, from the straight. I did that once. I did that once in college. We, I went to fraternity formal and I invited Alyssa Chandler. She was my date. Alyssa is awesome. And I went to go get like a, you know, you have to get like a little flowers or bouquet or whatever for your formal date. And it happened to me Mother's Day and the floor was just like sold out of flowers. And so I found a flower in one of the islands in the parking lot and I plucked it out and I wrapped it in deli paper. Oh my god. What did she do? Did you keep that date or was she grateful? She was she was highly immune. She was cool.

You know, listen, any girl who's going on a date with a closet and a gay man's got to be pretty cool, right? I guess. They know, they know on a certain level they know. So she wasn't like, oh my god, she was like, cool. She was down for it. She was down. She was in trouble.

Well, I don't have to blow this guy. It's not going to be the worst night ever. Exactly. So listen, Chandler, I know you're out there somewhere, specifically in Boston. So this one's for you. I'm going to message you on Facebook, let you know your name has been dropped. I'm watching crap. And this. By the way, you might hear some glass clinking around is because I'm using

this like faux antique table and my mom's guest room. I mean seriously. I'm like, it's not a real antique. Like, who do you think you're getting? But seriously, seriously, seriously. These like commemorative like crystal clocks. I'm sure they ain't real crystal either. Like, this is some fake or shit in this bedroom. And I keep kicking them over to put my feet up on the desk. Did you hear that? It's just all these fake crystal clocks click kicking together.

So there you go. That's what it is in case anybody's wondering. Speaking of fragile fake things, we then go to Shina who is stuffing sugar packets. She's stuffing sugar packets and little sugar packet holders. And she's with Katie and they're talking about pride. I think she's with Brittany too. And napkin roll.

For Kat or Barry, important part of Sara. So she has one of my favorite quotes in the night and she's talking about why she did not show up at work. And she was like, as much as I would love to put on a happy face, I was just literally sad. Like I'm like, sorry, I'm like not, I'm not gonna just go like sling drink some people's throat. I was literally sad. Like it's like pressing a happy emoji when you really want the sad emoji and it's like, who does that?

Literally sad. I'm not like a mochi. I'm like literally sad. I'm like literally the crying mochi right now. I wasn't just like sad, I'm like figurative metaphorical sense. I was literally sad. Like I can't or when I'm sad. And Katie's like yeah, like rant.

Katie's just concentrating on her ranch dressing. Someone told us that she did drink a cup of ranch dressing. And I don't know, I don't know how they found this out, but someone told us that I guess maybe she's announced it on a podcast or something like that, but Katie did drink a cup of ranch dressing. Yeah, I believe that. I believe it. I look, I, there's something, you know, you, you see people that you have things in common with and you just know things about each other just because we're Camins and we're all copied off each other in some kind of a way and that's how I felt with her when I saw her eating that lettuce I was like girl that would be some brownies if there wasn't a TV here that is like that is TV iceberg

I was like the cameras are here get some iceberg I knew that there was like a nice aparteif of ranch Okay, so Britney is really dumb Is he cool she's that another day another dollar That's so pretty. Yeah, she's like in a cowboy hat like welcoming people in Banggood trying to go at this point I feel like every time they get home like when they're driving home and they're parking at their apartment, she's like,

hum again, hum again, jiggity, jigg. Like that's just that kind of girl. Everything. She's coming. Get it. We learn, we learned that that Shina and Kristen have been planning a dual surprise party where for Shay and for Carter, where she thinks it's going to planning a dual surprise party where for Shay and for Carter

where Shay thinks it's going to be Carter's surprise party and Carter thinks it's Shay's surprise party and really it's a surprise party for both and I was like, well that's great. So they're going to show up and just it'll just be two sad men who are faintly surprised about something great. Yeah, pretty much like Tom said later. He's like, yeah, it's literally not a surprise. It was actually to me a very stupid idea. I mean, I'm a good excuse that they were going to a party bad. Like, it's not a surprise. I'm seeing a ghost. I've never, I've never tried a surprise party. And he goes, you didn't.

So then Stasi shows up. One more thing I just have to add here is that Shina was talking about. Now, there's also dueling trips where Stasi is going with the dumb horse face twins to Montauk for that so a Bravo show. And the other trip is to NASCAR, which is Tom and Arianna strip. And so she still hasn't been to Ari, she hasn't been invited to Arianna. So she goes, I'm like, I'm serving the older friends on Arianna. I don't know. I'm out of control. She knows. I'm like, going out of the plan. Yeah.

Of course she knows. That's like all she thinks about is he's inviting her where and he hates her. Yeah. And this dueling trip scenario is turning out to be a hilarious conundrum for Sheena. Like, I'm so into it. And we're going to get to it later what, what when Tom and Ariana have to break some bad news to her, which had me like, shuckling on the floor. But it is such a funny, like stupid producer-driven scenario that is working out so well.

So then Stasi shows up, also dressing black, everyone's in black and serve today. And she says, hi, Natalie, who is surprisingly warm to her. And then Stasi just repopped the squad. You look great, Natalie. And she's like, you look great. You look the greatest. She's like, okay, thanks. Thanks, can I have some girl cheese balls?

So, Stasi starts talking about her podcast because she's asking Brittany for permission for Jackson to come on. And when Stasi is talking about her podcast, she tells us she's like, what I wanted was for women to feel like they're setting around with Their best girlfriends drinking wine talking about things that they're too scared to say in public. I'm like Instead though you've created podcast for women listen to it and they just feel embarrassed for themselves

Oh my God, why would you do this to me? Also, if everybody's friends were that stupid, this country wouldn't even run. You know what I mean? Like, no one needs friends that stupid. We've listened to that podcast many times on this show. Yes, we will. We'll fast forward to a random part and this is what it's like.

Literally, like, I was like, literally no. And then she was all, and I was like, aw, aw, yeah, but what did you think about her? No, I was like seriously. No, no, I agree. No, I said that. No, I said that's exactly what it's like. Like I said, I was agreeing with you. What are you talking about? Should I fire up an episode now? Should I go into a random section of her podcast? Oh, sir, you know, I love a stassy straight talk with stassies like straight talk with. Yeah. That little monster. The same way. A little shitting monster. But like, I think it's like not PC and not

appropriate to like talk about how you would be upset that you didn't have what you wanted. But like, that's a human emotion that I'm sure most people go through and have. And Ross Dossi, she's such a, she's such a, she's such a, like, all of us. Yeah, she's, now she's in the psychology because she's on a podcast or she's like, you know what, your problem is, is that you love too much, but you don't like understand that you're like hating. What are you even talking about? Everything she would be throwing a temper tantrum and then switch right into some psychology from somebody else. But that's your problem, Sheena.

So anyway, Stasi Wands have Jack's come on her show and have Jack's talk about like inside the mind of a cheating douchebag, but she asks Brittany beforehand for permission because she doesn't want to be shady, which is shocking for a Stasi. But you know, she's like, well, I just wanted to do an episode about reformed bad boy friends. Stasi is so funny how fake she is because she's like, Brittany, hi, great. Hi, have a seat. She's talking with her podcast professional voice.

She's like, hi, I was just looking over podcast things on the phone, which I also could use to do podcasts, have a seat. Okay, so this is about reformed bad boys. And Brittany's like, wait, are you saying that he was a piece of shit, but then I saved him and changed him. She's like, well, you literally did change him. I mean, not his shirt ever or his sheet most likely or really his underwear, but you know, or a condom. I mean, let's be sick. But he gave me a new bracelet to wear. I mean, you can 10 pounds. So there's a change. But I mean, I think the only reason why Stasi is asking for permission is

because, you know, they are like the those girls are building their recruiting troops. And so they have to have beyond bringing this good side because they're about to go to war with Shina and Lala. So they need as many girls on their side as possible. So she'd be super nice to Brittany. Yeah. They're totally going to try and star wars her ass. Like they are going to really turn her dark. And she's not doing it. She's not, she's like refusing it. It's like, I'll be the force of Jack's rolling over on me. Seriously, I'm a dad.

I mean, I have no idea. She has no idea really what's going on. She's just like some strange entity they found in space. You know, that came on board the death star. And I was like, this is a cool star. Look how round it is. This is great. Oh, force.

I love that force you do. I'm like, oh gosh. I love Brittany every time she calls into Dr. Laura because that woman, there's like a million of those women who have called into Dr. Laura who are like, hey, he used to be bad, but now he's great. And here's what I feel. And Dr. Laura would be like, shut up.

I don't care how you feel. This isn't about your feelings and just rip them apart, you know, but that's so brightening because she says, well, Jack's is different now. And the only thing that Stauce's ex-boyfriend and my current boyfriend have in common is their name, Jack's Tyler. That's not even his real name.

Not even his name. Not even his name. So meanwhile, Ariana is on a mission to make things good between Katie and Lala, because Lisa Vanderpump had apparently told her like, well, why don't you step up and fix things. So. because Lisa Vanderpump had apparently told her like, well, why don't you step up and fix things? So... Darling, I'm looking on a beige shirt and pouring a pink thing in front of a photographer's not a storyline. Do something, Darling. Do something.

So Ariana tells, like, says the Katie, like, Hey, can we, um, can I like talk to you in the back? I just, I just want to talk. And I love how Katie is so obnoxious. She's like, I don't have a lot of time, but yeah, I'm like, shut the fuck up. You have more time in the world. Okay, like, don't worry, there's plenty of time

for the eating iceberg lettuce later. Oh, yeah, she's like, what? Yeah, yeah. So they go out and they're at the dumpster. I mean, this is so funny. They're at the dumpster break room. The dumpster smoking room, the dumpster smoking room in the back. And it's just the perfect setting for these people, you know, they're

only surrounded by dumpsters. And Arianna's like, well, I would hope that you'd be open to talking and Katie gets to what? And she's like, like, being open to like talking about rumors that are true. And like talking about truth, and like, or sleeping with like married people, like that kind of stuff. I'll talk about that. I think Katie has such a persona phase because she's also like, no, so I mean, I just don't have to four hours of chitchat.

Like, yes, you do, because you spend four hours putting burlap around invitations every single day or anything really. So you do have four hours of chitchat. invitations every single day or anything really. So you do have four hours at your chat. She texts a full novel about it later and never goes inside to work. So she had this moment where she's like, I just can't take this. And she puts her hand up and I'm like, you're makeup terrible, you're hair is terrible. So got your gay pride fingernails, which you didn't even go, which makes you look terrible.

And then that fucking leopard thing that you've got on your face. I know, she tore it. She tore it tattoo. I mean, it was just one snapshot of Katie's pure awfulness. Like, it was only missing like a slight white drip coming down her face, you know? So, um, we learn in this, in this discussion, because Lala is there. And it's once again, another attempt to make these, these people reconcile. And L Lala's like I'm not apologizing again I'm only gonna talk to my mama but Katie there's an issue I guess where Lala had said something that she wants to fuck Tom Schwartz

or something like that Katie listed it where did this come from where did this where did this happen when she's like Lala just whenever she gets mad she's like oh yeah but your boyfriend's gonna leave you because you're stupid ugly cow you know Lala is so immature gets mad, she's like, oh yeah, but your boyfriend's gonna leave you because you're stupid, ugly cow, you know, Lala is so immature. So Katie listened, she goes, there are no more chances. She's disgusting. Let's see. Cause the producer is like, what exactly did she do to you?

And she's like, yeah, let's see. She said she wants to fuck my fiance. She said she sure he has the biggest dick. And for sure we're gonna get into force. And then when he's done with me, she knows a cute girl to hook him up with. And you know she was in there for like half an hour. Like took too many trisks at family dinner.

Like, I took too many trisks at family dinner. Well, you know, to get back to what you're saying though, you know that Lala said half those things as like a joke. It's like saying your mom and then Katie just being a total literalist being like, she literally thinks that I want to sleep with my mom. Like that's disgusting. How could she say that?

She's like into incest. You said I can't work with that. Like, she just told me she wants to finger rape me. I mean, that's a rapist Lisa. That's what you have working with just told me she wants to finger rape me. I mean, that's a rapist Lisa. That's what you have working with you. Somebody who's gonna finger rape me. I hope you're proud of your restaurant. Yeah.

Yeah, shut up, Katie. So then Katie is like, I mean, at the end of the day, I just don't trust you. I just can't be friends with somebody. I don't trust, and I can't be, I can't work with someone I don't trust. I'm like, how the why law why law why why is the line drawn with law? How can you trust anyone? How could you be friends with jacks?

You know, like she's a hostess at a restaurant. She's got a chart in front of her with table numbers on them. That's like all you really need to know. Just stop being a bitch. Like what's so what is so difficult? But I like that they were making this all about feelings. It was like this psychological dumpster dive if you will at the dumpsters and Ariana's like, but how do you feel about that? Everybody was talking about how they feel and she is like, look, okay, because Lala said, I apologize and like I got shut down so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so she and I got so Okay, so like I was pretending to have a boyfriend to hide the other boyfriend because I thought this would be like a fun acting game Shut up sell out there. Okay, this is not an acting game She's like I'm math that okay, like I'm not really a hostess, but I'm gonna play one in this Cinematics maybe and so I've just here. It's been a joke this whole time that table number is really 13

and so I've just here it's been a joke this whole time that table number is really 13 Katie's like see here she goes lying again acting like she was hired by method to be their spokeswoman like that's so disgusting I can't trust her like she invented shampoo I'm sure we all believe that law law so Katie Katie is like again being petulant and being annoying and I just love Lala guys. Do I have to finger you and Katie's like, oh, and I just I just love Lala for being so vulgar and upsetting Katie so much. It's just so perfect. From with you, Katie. And then Gina, this is my favorite one of my favorite Gina episodes. And we were texting back and forth last night while we watched. And I said, this episode everybody is is so them which I really think everybody was so

that she is especially at this part she goes. I'm like 100% tinkady. However, no, there's no however. I mean, yeah, it's just so she like I'm 100 percent, but like four person I mean it's like, okay, that's my six percent that's not you stop messing with math, she know, okay, you're not gonna change math, so just stop it. I was an honor student and as soon as a math com, go on, yeah. But so she knows so so bitchily told her to she's like, okay, Lala Well that totally makes sense now, but she says so like look, I'm just gonna say that like whatever I said, it's not true like if I did so I'm sorry for saying whatever like

Yeah, which is And it was bitchy, but it's also like the first in their world It was you know a step in the right direction. She basically was saying I just want to move on so like whatever I'm sorry for for a friend of you know, and which you know, it was bitchy, but it was at least this there was a shred of maturity in there And then Katie's reaction was like, have a little integrity. Katie, she did have integrity. She was just saying, let's move on. But Katie was like, so Katie's like, simpleing their quietly, like, you know, morning about integrity and the confessional.

Yeah. And then starts texting, you know, right away. So Stasi, Stasi acting like she owns this restaurant when she came in first of all She was like, I'm here to see Brittany. So if you could go get her that would be great It's like you don't work here, bitch. You don't own this place and then she's in this scene. She's like Peter I would like some good cheese balls to go and he's like to go. I mean, I'm not judging She goes it feels like you are and then like waves judging. She goes, it feels like you are. And then like waves him off as stairs at her phone, like you are such a bitch.

Oh my god. It doesn't like, Stasi, you've been sitting here in this restaurant alone for four hours. God, this is just sicking sad. Happy woman, Jesus. I know. So Lisa, Brittany, Brittany, come on. Yeah, Lisa come on.

And she's like, Ha Lisa! Well, look with the cat dragged in. The most beautiful snack of charm and glitter I ever saw in my life. Lisa's like, hello. She goes, tell me, Brittany, and do you know the special styling?

She's like, well, we have like this Portobello, Portobello. I don't know, it's like a well, we have like this portabello portabella. I don't know. It's like a tomato pizza pie, pepperoni pie, chicken pie pie. It's a pie. We go cheek cheek goat cheese. It's a lascan halibutter. It's like so anyway. Do you know Stassy was here today? No. Well, you know, she has this podcast. No. Oh, well, it's okay. Is it okay, Britt me? Bring his like I guess. She's like, she's going to have jacks on and at least is like, well, that doesn't seem quite right. Like, aren't you mad about that? And he's like, not really. And Lisa's like, where's the bistoff face? Where is it? She's like, you're not pissed off?

Well, maybe I am. Maybe you are. Well, okay, should I be? What would you be? Well, I would be mad that she's coming around with my man. And I would say, get your hands off my man, have a... She's like, well, so you wouldn't do it? I'd tell them to back off my mountain.

She's like, okay, I need to see you. At least because... Riot. She doesn't Brit me imitation. Just rolls her eyes into Buzzs Boy. Like, you fucking kidding me. Why did they call me in here? So meanwhile hours later, Stasi is still at the restaurant and now she's gone to the back where Katie is sitting and Katie tells Stasi everything that happened with Sheena and Lala and being like Sheena like totally apologized to Lala and was like I'm so sorry for being mean to you all these all this time I'm told on your side you're the best you're actually the best person's ever worked here before it was like so inconsiderate like where I was

Wait Sorry, sorry you say she said sorry Well, it's Daci thought that Katie said sorry for she's like did you say I'm sorry that I brought this up? Because like no, I'm a shuna. She's like, what? Did she know how to shraw? And then and then Stasi's like, I'm texting her right now. I'm sorry, I can't. I can't not.

Like I have to text it. Like I can't, I can't not. Yeah, like I can't. They just do. She goes, this is like one of the victims apologizing to Charles Manson. So like, what? And then all you're, then all you're this is like one of the victims apologizing to Charles Manson. And then I'll hear it's like, Oh, so brilliant jacks at home trying to figure out a curtain rod.

Yeah, they can't figure it out. And they're just talking about Stasi. And, um, and base, Yeah, they can't figure it out and they're just talking about Stasi and And base there. I think they're just saying Like for needs They're just talking about Stasi going on the podcast. Yeah, and he's like well, why would she need? Why would she need permission from you to go on the podcast? She's like well you know, it's respectful jacks. It's like please. I was a child when I dated her And then the best part about the best part of that was like your 40 of year on this earth, buddy.

Well, the best part is that he goes, I was like a child when I dated her. And then literally the next beat, Brittany goes, Oh, watch out, honey, you're on the curtains. That was her response. You're still a child, Jack's your child standing on the curtains and your girlfriend is saying, Oh, honey, you're standing on the curtains. He goes, I'm reminded, whenever I think of Stasi, I'm reminded of that movie, misery, no, because she was actually abusing someone with talent, okay? She like, actually, she actually captured someone that hit accomplished something in his life.

No one's going to capture some fat face waiter, okay, and chop off his legs. Yeah, I think a better version would be like the snorke's. I don't know why, but I feel like that's more a better like artistic reference to Stasi and Jackson. I feel like if the snorke's starred in swim fan. That would be more appropriate. One snork is totally upset. So yeah, there's no. So Sina comes over to see them. And, uh, well, first we get a cut of Stasi's greatest. She's like, you are shit. You are a shit human being. We have never did that. So's just always fun to see. Yeah, I love that montage.

They roll it out like every three episodes. So Sina comes over and Brit said, Hush, shea, nah, ha! I'm drinking a vodka, said, do you want some? It's a mango orange or something. I was like, that's not a vodka soda at all. When she said that, I was so confused. I just love the thought of Brittany going into a trader,

Joe's and being like, well, I don't have anything to trade. Y'all take KS or like where's Joe? Anyone I say Joe is Joe's the manager. Can I talk to him? I want to see if I can trade in these flake flots for some bread, but I just like a matching her standing at the soda aisle trying to figure out what all those Hanson's flavors are. You know, like mine got you. You know, the drink is called the drink is called vodka soda, but they never say what type of soda. The first time I ever had a vodka soda is I was at a bar and I was talking about vodka

and I really hate vodka. I was like, so vodka is soda and they're like, oh vodka soda and I just had it and I was like, okay. First time I ever got wasted. Tatlin on. So, she immediately, of course, is like, yeah, I have mango something. And then I have a mango something on the rocks. She just immediately starts going.

She's like, oh my god, dude, like Lala Swords, I like that married man rumor as a true answer. I was like, I'm sorry, I'm so fine. And then at midnight, after I know it's like after drinks or something, I got a text from Katie and she said this talks in that literally said, I'm a meant to die after a note like after drinks or something. I got a text from Katie and she's from this Talks and that literally said I repulse Do you shall I read the text? Of course I took a picture. Yes, please

This is a text from Katie Maloney and this is it's a screenshot from machine of phone and the best part is That on the top where it says Katie Maloney. There's like a little heart next to it. Like, am I a fast friend? Got it. I'm a little fast friends forever. Oh, this is what Tequila Katie said. I love that her name is so similar to Baloney. I know. Oh, she's so basic.

Okay. So this is like four checks, bubbles. It's the entire, it's literally the entire screen of Katie Maloney. She goes, you're a clueless about my feelings. That conversation was pointless. I didn't want it to go anywhere. I have zero interest in anything that piece of shit awful person. If you thought

anything needed to be reiterated, then I think you are forgetting who I am. And everything that piece of shit has said and done to me. And again, you had to audacity to believe me for being dismissive. I'm shocked. Sheena very disappointed. Stop giving a fuck about what people will say or think you live in fear of that shit. You are so concerned with what people will say or think of you that you're so quick to exploit and throw people you care about under the bus. And then the next page is, okay, she, after all, it's my fault. You were so dismissive of her. Don't ever throw me under the bus like that again. And that whole apology thing you did repulsed

me way to go. Clap, clap, clap, emoji. She should have made it more realistic and had clap period, clap period, clap period. She's such a asshole. Don't worry about what everybody thinks of you, just me and Stasi and Kristen. Well, this is also, yeah, and also, by the way, I love that Katie takes it to the place where she's been thrown under the bus. You were not thrown under the bus. She knew bass was like, okay, I'll move on.

And that's not throwing Katie under the bus. It doesn't really, it doesn't affect anything because Lalla didn't even really take Sheena seriously. But the fact that Katie was so sensitive and was so annoyed that Sheena like swayed and left the wolf pack and now has turned it into like throwing her under the bus. And she left the bus. So you come and they would literally stop.

They can run over your ass. Talk about a way to ruin a bus. And the bus saw you come and they would literally stop. They can run over your ass. Talk about a way to ruin a bus. Those orange lines are more fragile than they seem. Yeah, there's no bus going over Katie. Um, so what's next here? So next we have Katie and Tom are on the phone with Trisha the wedding planner and They're talking about who knows what now You know you could go with like just like tables with tablecloths, but you know I feel really bad for you if you didn't have a wedding with runners and you know runners are like five million dollars She's like great. Yeah, runners cute burlap. Do they mix burlap metal and magnets?

Well, that could we could do that for six million. Okay, perfect. And, Trisha's like, so what's that budget again? Um, I am, we're going to try to keep it under 50. And Tom's like, what the fuck? It was $20,000. You can't just do that. And then they showed a montage of Tom just being befuddled by this wedding. Yeah. And he goes, you know what?

Katie's like a cartoon snowball. It's just like, she starts off one way, and then before you know it, it's like getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger until it just crashes you. And I'm like, that is so romantic. Yeah, except I think that if we were Katie, it wouldn't be a snowball.

It would just be like, it would start as one leaf of iceberg lettuce rolling down the hill and just collecting other leaves of life's iceberg lettuce until it's just one giant head of Foxy iceberg lettuce. Foxy and brand, not an appearance. What if it was literally just Katie rolling down a hill, getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and then crushing small possibly gay people at the bottom. It would just be like that video game, which I've mentioned before in the show, well, I can I think of it? That is a Japanese video game where a little guy rolls up all the trash.

Like a neighborhood and makes a ball and the ball gets bigger and bigger and starts following up houses and trains and buses and mountains. So it's Katie. It's like season 8 Katie. Yeah. Exactly. So she and Stasi, of course, is being helpful. She's arrived and is sitting behind them on the couch. She's like, don't get your panties in a twist.

It's like not that much. Just shut up. Take it, Tom. And Katie goes, you know, if Tom was real, she goes, I don't even believe he's really a cheap skater because if he's really a cheap skate, he'd be making an effort to find cheaper versions of what I want. He's just not interested. Like, hmm, sounds romantic, babe. Yeah. It sounds like a perfect thing to go into debt over. Like if you can't pay your debt off before your husband leaves you, it's not going to work

out. Yeah. Hmm. Um, so soon enough, Kristen comes over and now it's time for Stoss and Katie to fill Kristen in on what happened, the betrayal, the bus throwing under him. And so they tell Kristen and Kristen's like, so discuss it. Seriously, seriously, what is wrong with Gino? Seriously?

Like, oh, and Schwartz was like, guys, maybe you shouldn't be, oh no, no, she was saying, she knows pulling a Schwartz. Like, you know, like, she's just pulling a Schwartz by like not standing up for the people that she really, truly, like deeply loves. She shut up, shut up, Chris, and, and Stasi actually said the words.

Like, we're not here to dictate who someone can be friends with. And Tom sighed. He was like, oh my, you discovered his mouth. It was so ridiculous. And I love that Stasi takes the situation and brings it to the ends of the degree degree and she says, you know, Ariana, she basically was telling Shina to pick a side and Shina chose a side. That's what she did.

And we're not here to dictate who people can be friends with. But if I were a dictator, I would make a decree about who you can be friends with. I'll just say it right now. I don't dictate. I'm a podcaster. So I'm not dict friends with. I'll just say it right now. I don't dictate. They're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no did to Katie. She Katie was like, hi, horror. I mean, Katie's never been nice to her. She had every right to be me to Katie back. And I feel like Stasi, we actually sort of liked Lala a little bit last year too, oddly enough, and even even Christen sort of liked her at one point, but but well, Stasi was nice to everybody to get back on the show. And now that she's back on, she's returning to her evil ways But she doesn't understand that people do as they age get tired of listening to children through a temper tantrums

And then go and take that shit from Stasi. Yeah, it's amazing It's not easy smart because really what she's doing is she is still making she solidifying her place With the girls and on this show, she's consolidating her power. And you know, she's actually kind of masterful. The fact that she does take it to this place where Ariana was asking to choose a side, when that's not what happened, Ariana was just trying to make peace. That way, no, there would be less fighting.

And the fact that Stasi plays it out as if it was about taking a side. And she chose the wrong side. She is what she's actually saying, the underlying message is, I'm loyal to you bitches. Like I'm the good one, you should like me. I'm the alpha here, I look after you. She is not. I take care of you.

Yeah, that's what she's doing. It's like the one who rapes you in prison, you know? Yeah, but she does it under the skies of girl code and loyalty and total, you know, she's totally understanding. She's not trying to dictate who you can be friends with. But she just thinks it's really crazy that you'd want to be friends with someone who would say this about your best friend. Like who would do that?

Who does that? Says the one who hurt Katie so bad that she wasn't even friends with her until the cameras were rolling again And she begged for an entire season shut up bitch Okay, so let's move on from this hooker because she's gonna have so much more in this episode So basically Jackson Brit are talking and still Dishina and Jackson's yeah, well the past five years, I predicted this shit. I'm like that guy, you know, like that guy, Gandhi. What's his name?

You know how Gandhi gets into the future? They stopped the music because he's so stupid in the interview room. They stopped the music and you can hear him just going, yeah. Muhammad Gandhi, there's this mouth breathing. He goes, yeah, what did he do? and you can hear him just going to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I'm going to be a little bit more on. Y'all come up to Sonoma for some last car and wine, y'all.

Look how so it is, staff. A chain is only as happy as it's happy as Link. You want to be in part of the happy chain. I love chains. My favorite rapper is two chains because you get twice as many chains for the process one.

So happy shame. Don't you love the chain smelkers? I'm so happy for them. So over at Sir, at least the Vanderpump shows up and she like goes over to the bar and she's like, what's going on? And they're like, well, it's okay, consider ring. So considering what, tell me what happened. So Ariana talks about how to try to mediate that stupid fucking fight of those idiot people

because you told me to, that was great Lisa. Thanks. Well, what happened with everyone? Tell me exactly what happened. Is she not being bullied over the texts? Yeah. And then Lisa Vanne pump was like, I was hoping that girls would have a new found respect for each other. And I wouldn't have to hear about it again.

Bitch, you're the one who asked about it. You never would have had to hear about it. If you were like, so what's going on? It's a Lisa totally, totally started this fight. And now she's like, well, I wouldn't have to do this if Arianna hadn't failed miserably Darling, but now she has been bullied over text. I would have her make a Trevor project video about it Yeah, well one time I was bullying it was really gross and sad man I've stopped that and then don't dare hit again. It really sucks Like did you redo that this is supposed to make kids feel better.

She's like, well, they were bullying me and I was like, at least I'm not a fag. It's like, could you redo that? Take three. So meanwhile, over at the rainbow room, Stasi and Jacks have met up for the podcast and Jacks does what he does best, which is that off the heels of this conversation,

he just had it with Brittany and Shina, whereas he was saying, yeah, you know, Kristen Katie and Shina, they're just like a three-headed dragon. They just all think the same, they're just mean girls. Now they're all together, she's going back to where it used to be. Jack meets up with Stasi and is like, yeah, like, Shina was saying how you're such a mean girl.

Like, it's classic Jacks, to basically basically go and gossip and act like he never was talking shit about Stasi. And so Stasi was like, I can't believe it. Like who does that? Who says I'm a mean girl? I'm like, not a mean girl at all. I'm like, not a mean girl at all. He goes, I just came from a mess over there.

Like they're saying like, you all three think alike. And she goes, that is such an easy one dimensional thing to say. I forgot she said that. I was wondering what you texted me that before. You're like, God, is he dissing me? I'm like, that's a one dimensional thing to say, Ben. I thought that was the funniest fucking thing to say. I was saying it all night to myself. That's so easy and one dimensional. If you just say that. If she were nice to her, she would have said something that was too dimensional to make me look a little flatter.

She looks like a girl. She looks like a teacher who, I don't know why I'm saying a teacher. She just looks like a person who's not on a reality show, dressing up like someone for Halloween like she looks like She's wearing a game of Thrones wig. It doesn't look right on her hair Yeah, have you noticed that it looks glue-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er- Gashin Shina and Gaspin Shina, Gaspin about Shina and berating her over text. She can't believe that Shina would have the audacity to call her a mean girl. But before she can act on that, she must do her podcast. So she's interviewing Jacks and asking questions about cheating and whatnot, et cetera.

And I like that eventually. At one point, Jacks is talking about how he is like a douchebag. And he's like, well, if I hadn't done all that douchebagging, I wouldn't be who I am today. I'm like, good for you, Jacks. That's some great reflection that you just had there. Well, she's going, she's giving him the sociopath test and she basically would fail every question. So I don't even know why she's giving him that. I, this was like the only part I didn't really like this scene. Like you two are stupid and Stasi's a big faker and she shouldn't even be on the show. Clear then.

Wrong. She should 100% be on the show. I think they need to find like a new, I think they need to find people who still work there and who aren't like yeah 45 well they need they need they need to cast like a worthy opponent for her that's working at the restaurant that's the problem that sausage not working at the restaurant yeah stossie and the rest in camp be there long they're both like supporting players who don't even work there I mean how long can they possibly stay on the show exactly if so anyway I was talking to them. They're acting like they, oh,

like, Sheena owes them. But if Sheena stopped talking to them, they wouldn't be on the show. No, Sheena has, there's a really easy fix for Sheena. She just needs to get new friends. It's as simple as that. You don't have to be friends with everyone at Sir. So, speaking of Sheena, over back at the restaurant, she's franting the lease of Andrew Pomp at like the, at like the vent space, aka that one little wall That's where the time she time time cards are in the kitchen and she's bending to Lisa about

I'm a Katie feels like there's an I did was about it. I said was I a pond if I said anything that was untrue I am ponded out for that because you know with China. It's always about semantics So then Katie walks in and then she's all you know, simpering and whiny and And why is she nine T.S. What's going on between you two Katie? She's like, I don't know. I don't like want to have a conversation about this now because I'm at work, okay? Like, I'm about to punch things into the squirrel

and you're like trying to make me emotional. So suddenly Katie can't have conversations at work like she didn't already have a three hour break with Stasi to complain about everything out of the sun. If one more person messes up my napkin rolling time with this like crazy drama, like people are going to be dropping forks all over the floor. And that's going to show up on your yelp. So listen, I can't have a conversation right now because I'm Berto promise you'd make me an iceberg's left salad with nothing on it. So I have that waiting for me. So Katie's he? Not his. But not.

Ah. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber. A seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lover's quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. And then Lisa had her obligatory. I don't know why I'm paying these people. They

should be paying me for their affair. Right? Harrison, who's possibly like Jiggy, who might get his own Instagram as well. Like face, like face. Stop trying to make Harrison happen, okay? Bring back Hanky and Panky. Yes. Um, so, Harrison. Yeah, see, it doesn't have the same ring to it. Sorry, Harrison.

Uh, say in corner, surprise party. Dun, dun, dun. party. Dun dun dun. Sin I'm Brittany. Poor Brittany is always there to help everybody. They're like, Brittany will work. Hey, does anybody have something heavy to carry? Put it on Brittany's back. She's like, I'm just glad to be here, y'all. She's just in a perpetual state of opening up cans. You need me to open up that soda can? Okay, psh. Next one.

She was like, I'm so glad you're here. And I helped me with all this course lights. I was like, oh yeah, I'm just glad to be here. My wife Panther made and see you. Oh, God. You're a mess. And she was. Yeah, me too. I can't wait for tacos. I think I want to be each other prime tacos. So she might have one for the tacos. Wow. I think we all know how she is going to greet the taco man. Hey girl.

Hi. How are you? Good. Good. Good. Good. Hey girl, how are you? God So for me it's like I've never been to an actual surprise party Like I'm sure you were surprised that every goddamn party brought me I brought some vodka somethings

What are we calling them? Mango warned something so something. I brought a mango, orange something. So the product share we sowed is something. So horse face one and two show up with Stasi. And immediately the three of them are like, they're setting up Margarita baby pool. And they're just totally ignoring you.

I've seen the guys like, so was there more eyes are now and she goes They're like no, we only brought one bag because that's what you told us and she's like Our brand I just like wanted to be sure They're like she's acting normal Really is sweet Stasi was like we think Shina is spinning out of control. That ice asking. So, so they're talking about, so I guess at this point, is this one, Stasi tells the girls

that what Jack told her that Shina is accusing them of being mean girls and like, oh my god, no. Yeah, this is that. Oh yeah. So they're like, oh my god, Shina, and Stasi goes mean girls. And like, oh my God. No? Yeah, this is that. Oh yeah. So they're like, oh my God, Shina Adela and Stasi goes, we haven't even gotten a chance to be mean to you yet. How could you even say we're mean girls?

We haven't even brought out our great A material. And she's talking a lot trying to get Shina mad. And she and her's just like, ah, ice. Ah, how the guys bring. What if someone else brings a bag of ice? And we'll have like another bag of ice. Like we're not so much ice. Why?

Taka's, I'm gonna be like, whoa, can I get some ice from my drink? I'll totally make it work. Like she is just off in her own little world, you know? She is the master of sweeping things under the rug. Like this is one of her greatest skills, you know what? Today is all about Sharon Carter, but mainly me. So I'm just not gonna let it bother me. I like what what she said. I think it was her who was saying that she's like,

this is great. Like we're both throwing out boyfriends surprise parties and then like your boyfriends going to be like, oh my god, you told me it's your surprise. My husband's going to be like, oh my god, you told me it was your surprise. And sure, sure enough, Tom shows up with both guys. And he brings them into the backyard and we'll go surprise. And they both are like smiling plightly because they know that there's going to surprise party. And then they're like, Oh, oh, it's for me. Oh, it's for me too. Oh, oh, they told me it was for you. Oh, they're, oh, yeah, cool. But they're so annoyed because they both had to work like it was the other person's party.

They both had to go shopping. They both had to like, poor seg. Someone goes, Hey, dude, there's a lot of vodka. And he goes, yeah, I know, I know how much vodka there is because I bought it. And by the way, I'm not drinking anymore. Thanks, assholes. Thanks for thanks for making me bring by vodka that I can't drink. Thanks. Uh,

and this one team says, I've never applied a surprise party in terms like you haven't. That's literally not a surprise. Oh gosh, why do you keep saying that? Like, who are you? Um, so then everyone's like far like party time, party time, Jack's is licking brineys toes, which is kind of gross. Um, and then the guys, the bros are in the pool and sand of all's like, listen, shorts, I got a great bronze or for you, you got a shagrin, itples down, bro.

Yeah, they make fun of him before talking about how Stasi's like ruined all the women I got a great bronze or for you, you got a shabby nipples down. Bro. Yeah, they make fun of him before talking about how Stasi's like ruined all the women again. Every guy's terrible. And they're all back to being awful human beings, but they're laughing about it. And Tom, like, you know, you know, there's like, uh, this perks, I think, you know, being in the mafia. So what are the perks? I just, I love that he's talking about how they are all just mean girls and they're all awful.

Like you realize you're getting married to one of them. This is not this is not some like group of girls that you're stirring clear of. You're actually marrying the mob. I think that guy is literally just too lazy to go find somebody else. Yeah, I think he's like, well, you know, I mean, my mom's off my back, so that's good. So meanwhile, horse face number one, aka Kristen brings Gina down to like the basement and that they are talking about the whole situation.

She's like, it wasn't cool, like seriously, seriously. And then she's trying to make- Like you know that wasn't cool, like we sure are brain. Oh. Oh. You know, like yeah, but I just meant like this, Then she's trying to make you know that wasn't cool like we sure brain You know like yeah, but I just meant like this like you share a brain about vass Oh, yeah, well like here's what you gotta do, okay? Like stossi literally thinks you don't like want to go to her birthday

Yeah, like stossi is now the victim in this yeah poor stossi now She's like now she thinks you don't even want to come to her birthday And she's really organized it really hard and this is the most sheena thing that sheena has ever said Because that's trippin's like everything like if I don't go a piss off saucy a man Katie and I can't risk not being a bridesmaid The stakes are too high the stakes are too high. The stakes are too high. And then Chris and goes, I occasionally have to play mom to my friends. I'm like, so are you just like some drunk alcoholic mom from intervention? And she didn't do anything.

She just goes, okay, take a breath. Oh, my God, mom. Yeah. Just because you're like a mother can't take breaths. Yeah, I'm like a good mom. Listen, just because your mom does not mean that you're doing anything good. I mean, hello, Mona. Also dating children and buying their lunch every day, it doesn't make you a mom.

It makes you a creepy old hangar on. Okay. So then speaking of she's talking to her boyfriend. She's like, Carter, do you like your balloon? And he's like, yeah, well watch like, yeah, I worked really hard on your balloon game. I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, I your stasie again. I won't be a breaks man. So then Tom and Ariana pull Shina aside and they very gravely tell her that, you know, how like maybe you want to come up to the party.

Well, we had to like buy the tickets ahead of time. We had to give names and like things happened and things were said and like every bed and every ticket is spoken for like basically Shina. If shit doesn't work out with you and them, you can't come with us. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Shina. We did the best we could. I love the chance. I love them just laying it on the line because Shina is so that girl who's like, yeah, I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. go to your birthday. I'm not like, I can't go to that one. But I'm like, totally your friend.

You guys wanna listen to me? Bet you're about those girls. I'll stop having to talk to you all year. It's like, that's that girl, you know. Whoever will listen to her just rant and rave and cry about her stupid drama. And then he's like, I wanna make it clear. If things don't work out with them,

you cannot come with us. She's like, ah, I don't know. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything.

I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I love that girl, my good daughter. You know what I'd love to bet it though? In like, you know, in like storytelling, if you're riding a screenplay or something, like an orange mango, something. So it's like, you know, the act one break is that you reveal the stakes. And the stakes are, I have to go to the Hamptons.

Otherwise, I'll never be friends with them again But then the the act to the the midpoint in act two Where everything with the stakes raise up is Tom and Ariana saying no you have to go because it's not just that You might never become friends with them ever again But if you don't go with them you can't come with us. It's this or nothing Shina It's like following classic like screenplay structure right now. Yeah, they're totally safe. They're toh- Raising it, loved it. It's like said failed. That's what this is called.

Screenplay. That's it. What I say is that screenplay. Screenplay. Oh, yeah. Literally, I have to save the cat right now. Like the enemy is closing in and I don't know what's gonna happen. But only positive thing about saying I'm working at Sir Not Wing on is I'll make elephant bucks. to those three screenwriters out there. There you go. There was your game. There you go.

There was your Easter rig. So now, um, Stasi and Brittany are having a little talk. And Stasi, like she's talking to, uh, I don't know, like a legless, you know, missing one eye, the homeless child. It's like, hi, Brittany. Hi, I brought you some soup. Soup for the poor, soup for the poor. It's a last. Britney's like, so what are your parents thinking? It's just the cleaning lady here right now. I went out there early and she's like, I've never met somebody who lasts so much by themselves. I was like, yeah. So, oh, by the way, I was just gonna say,

there's no leaf blower today, but there is a vacuum. There was a leaf blower here, actually. Oh, there was. Yeah, close on my windows and it's like really hot in here. Oh, good. Oh, I mean, not good, but good. So Brittany and Stasi are talking and Stasi tells her, but she's like, well, I give her my sociopath test.

And she goes, oh, let me guess. Hey, failed it. And she tells us she's like, to be real honest with you, I don't know what a sociopath is. So she's like, to be real honest with you, I don't know what a sociopath is. Is that a path you take to learn social studies? Cause I didn't take that path. I took anti social studies.

I mean, I thought it was the United Kentucky of the States growing up. Isn't that why it's called UK. I didn't know. I didn't even learn how the country worked until I had to buy a bus ticket. So I'm still trying to meet Mr. Louis, you know, Louisville. I mean, that man owns a whole town. So she reads a definition of the offer phone and it's like someone who cannot feel anything for anybody but himself and Possibly is a murderer whatever the definition is and she goes well, that's not so bad I mean it could be worse really

Well, okay, it is worse. It has Jackson's face Still great Well, okay, it is worse. It has Jackson's face. But still great. Nothing you can say to her will bring her down. The world is ending. Well, I've been wanting to go to heaven. I love Jesus. I'm so fine to positive in anything. So I believe this is when Stasi and Shina start to talk, right? They're talking by the side of the pool. Stasi and Shina start to talk, right? They're talking by the side of the pool. Stasi and Shina. Yeah. She. Yeah.

Stasi is like, can we talk? She's come on, Shina. Can you just tell me what's going on? Like, this is going to be a nice conversation. Yeah. And Stasi keeps reiterating that she needs to know that someone's loyal. Like, why? Like, that's why she can't like go to the Lala drama. She just needs to make sure that Lala that that that that she The she is loyal and again, it's such a power play like I'm not trying to say you can be friends with I just want to make sure that you're loyal to me and the girls because otherwise you can't come to hand to be a prize made Yeah, we sure no you can't go to NASCAR Have fun working with the B crew

go to NASCAR. Have fun working with the B crew. Okay. Yeah. So Shina is not doing her usual Shina thing where she's like, I'll tell you about it. She's kind of arguing with her, you know. She's like, wow. I mean, she doesn't even really argue. She just goes, wow. And then Stasi goes, start up for something, Shina. Start up. I mean, let, let, let. And then she starts just screaming her head off. So high money. Stand up for something. You're supposed to be our best friend. Yeah.

Which is such crap. And so she's seen a ghost. I'm, I'm, I can just, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I Blah blah blah. Sorry. Sorry. And it's like, oh, Jesus. So she comes over. She's like, what's up, buddy? Yeah. And Stasi, could you just explain this to me? Like, you can have a conversational loan. So I guess I'll have to talk to Ariana. And Ariana's like, well, we have an issue at work.

So I just mediated the issue. And then she's like, do you understand what she did to Kate? I'm like, she just starts screaming at Ariana. And she's like, um, understand what she did to Kate? I'm like, she just starts screaming at Ariana. And she's like, um, could you maybe not scream at me? Like, we don't really have to have this as a screaming fight, okay? Yeah. And Stasi is going on this thing that Shina,

you know, Shina hasn't been hurt by Lala in a real and serious way. I'm like, well, neither of you, Stasi, a way has Lala ever hurt you in a real and serious way. And while we actually hurt Katie, has she hurt anyone in a real and serious way? No one actually. Yeah, well, by refusing to fuck Jack, she actually made Bstossi look even more pathetic than she already does.

So I guess she heard her in that way. But otherwise, the girl hasn't even talked to you. Yeah. And then Bstossi, at this point, Bstossi just starts making shit up. She's like, whatever, Sheena said that Lala and Katie should be friends. And she was like, I never said that. So Stasi doesn't get her way. And she's having a fit because Sheena's not kissing her ass.

And Ariana is just looking at her like she's nuts. And she's like, I cannot. Why do you need to be so upset and yelling? And then Sheena's like, I mean, Stasi's like, yeah, and start sobbing and runs aside. Classic. Classic, when all those fails, saw the make them feel bad for you. Classic, mean girl, spoiled girl behavior. She runs out to the bathroom and then Katie goes in there and she's like, Stasi, what's wrong? And then Stasi is like, hey, suck, Shina and her out of suck. I just like laughing. I

Just trying to stand up for my friend. I'm a They're like a mean On the bathroom floor in a heap. Yeah, I'm just trying to stand up. I'm just trying to be a good friend Give me a little credit for that. I'm just trying to be a best friend. The best way I know how. Only way I know how. And it's pathetic because these girls are that Rachel bitch is really sad. I mean, she's just always silently hanging around them. And this year, she's like, I mean, she was always thin, but now she's like the nerve. And she's got like bleach blonde hair to look like more like Stoss. It's just so sad. It's like Rachel.

It's not going to happen for you, huh? Okay. Now get out of this cheap ass bathroom and let Stasi ground the damn floor alone. So then Shina comes inside and now the three-headed monster has convened and they are confronting Shina and they are just attacking her left and right, just tearing her apart. And you know, Stasi is just coming at Shina being like stopping a batch stopping an asshole which is hilarious coming from Stasi of all people and then Stasi again is trying to prove her worth by

by faux defending Katie me like you don't care how hurt she has been you don't care like she's not hurt she has not been hurt by Lala she has been you don't care like she's not hurt. She's not been hurt by Lala She has been a bitch to Lala since the very first moment Lala showed up Well the best thing and the newest thing to happen is she not giving a fuck like she does not care She's just like wow And then she tells us I mean it looks like I mean, it looks like Taki Lakady and her friends shoulder pads, Dotsie and course face Franzie are here. Or whatever.

And then she just walks away. She's like, the way you month run. And she walks outside and she tells us, I never ever thought I was better than them and told us the moment. Which is basically the end of every tick flick ever. You know, it's like, you did it. And then she goes outside and she starts crying. It's like before you ruined it. But before she knew one outside, she did, she did tell Kate, she was like, well, you know, I'm concerned about you. Okay, because you've been drinking a lot more.

You don't seem happy. And then Katie, that, and then Stasi's like, that is where you are wrong. Like shut up, Stasi. And then Katie's like, whatever, Shina, Shina, I could read you like a fucking book. But unfortunately, I'm the very my friend. Yeah, like, you don't like books. We all know you ain't gonna read a book. If you consider me a book, then just get rid of me, okay? There's an asterisk along in that comment, which is like,

I just want to say I can read you like a fucking book, but I can only really read young adult fiction, so don't make me read anything beyond that. Thanks. But luckily, Shina is sort of the equivalent of young adult fiction, so it all works out. I can read you like a fucking word scramble. I can read you like a fucking early Judy blue novel. Okay. Superpudge. And yes, I love you're a tale of worth rate. Nothing.

It's got love me. Why can't I get my locker open? Are you there, Shina? It's me. Katie. You're stupid. Get on my face, blah, blah. Get on my face. Katie, my Loney, edge nine. Fuck ever lasting. DeVirtant. I can't come up with any more

names. You know what book I really identified with the hunger games. Okay past the aspect of us. I scored. Okay, so every time Katie eats ahead, a lot as a cannon goes off. Every time somebody dies, you just hear a big chomp and then over the big screen. It's just Katie chomping on lettuce in front of the fridge. and then over the big screen, it's just Katie chomping on lettuce in front of the fridge. I think that's only when someone from her district does. They've killed Peter! I can't talk about this, I don't want to have this conversation right now about Peter. I can't. Oh god. It's not about who you align with.

It's about who you're loyal to. Oh, it's not about who you were lying with. It's about who you're loyal to. Oh, I mean, Peter's like a good friend in the middle of the night, but he's not someone you marry because like at the end of the day, you will not fit in your wedding drafts. You don't want to mean? Oh, she, no, I just want you to know that if you don't go to the Hamptons, they're like literally no more seats for you at the Hunger Games. I'm sorry, we tried everything! So, um, everybody, we are gonna go make some pee-pee in the Toilot Lots and we'll be right back with the rest of our recaps. Yeehoo! and we'll be right back with the rest of our recaps. Eww! What's the best thing you've bought for $3.99?

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Darling. Um... And now... Top Chef. I'm still like so sad that Amy went home from last week. It opened with them sewing her leaving because they're doing that thing where they- I'm still like so sad that Annie went home from last week. It opened with them sewing her leaving because they're doing that thing where they all go home and cheers each other in the next episode,

which is really good. But they're like, oh, that poor girl Annie went home and Katsuy is like, who's Annie? Who's Tisani? I'm like a little over Katsuy. Katsuy, my first name is is yeah, he's a bit much. He is a bit much. What are you pressing?

Are you using your, are you pressing your mouse a lot or what? I hear a lot of them. I am. I'm cool. That's so funny. I am. I was, I've loaded up the, the top chef page and I was like scrolling down, but it's funny that you could hear this little this you hear that yeah

I hear it every time you do it. Wow. What a sensitive mic. It's like So sensitive like Annie am I right? Who am I? Who's on it like to know by who I just noticed? I'm so sorry you keep trying to move through this and I will let you but they In the opening I know is this every week, podmas like, and the people competing for the top spots and then it says, brook, opening a blender and everything's sporting in her face. Yeah. I love this like little I love Lucy version of brook, the most boring person in the world. Little facial right there every single week. Followed by like a pristine shot of Peligrino water.

So the quick fire this week was, it was the Mizon Blosses relay race. I think it was Mizon Blosses relay race. It was a relay race. They just had to do like, prepare art, like prepare artichokes and dice onions and quarter chickens and everything and it was like this big, big, exciting thing, which is fun. You know, I have to say honestly that the relay race, when they do the relay race or there's another one that's similar to the relay race, I forget what it is, it's like, they have to do something like with a hand behind their back, whatever, when they do that

stuff, it's like fun, but I much prefer like they have to do something like with a hand behind their back. Whatever, when they do that stuff, it's like fun, but I much prefer when they have to cook something properly, which I know they did cook, but I don't know, the mise en place race doesn't really do much for me. And there's a whole thing where whichever team finishes all their mise en place first, they get to make the other team wait for three minutes.

So it was like, who's gonna wait? What's gonna happen? Yeah, I concentrate on odd things in the show My favorite things are just like the little interpersonal things like at one point surely is frying her clams I guess she had to make clams so she was really low on time So she's frying and then that girl Amanda He's always trying to be positive but seems like she's just gonna have a breakdown of any moment

Yeah, she's she comes running to the fire and she'll be like, you'll go get your own friar. I was like, yes, surely. Everything surely says, I like clap and laugh. She's so funny. Yeah, I was concerned for Amanda because the episode began, like even before they were talking about Annie, it was like Amanda. They were talking about Amanda and she's like, well, I had spinal surgery. I've had to fuse things.

So, you know, it's been a half of me to come back to the kitchen. I'm like, oh, you're either going home or you're doing something triumphant. And sure enough, she did something triumphant, which means I actually think it means she's going home next week or this week because they gave her like a moment, a moment to shine because it wasn't, I mean, she beat Shirley, which was cool.

But I don't know if I needed to be like a whole big thing where like, look at where I've come from. I was cooking and then I wasn't cooking. I know I'm a bartender, but I'm coming back to cooking. I don't know if we need to see that arc unless she's going home next week and she's gone. Yeah. And also, top chef does not like someone who's not committed to, to cheffery. I mean, and I'm not blaming her as spinal fusions because that was obviously something bad that she couldn't help, but what if they were like, you had four spinal fusions instead of cooking? So please pack your knives a go. No, but fusion is like

so 1988. She's like, yeah, well, I had four spinal fusions. And then I just, I was like, maybe bartending. So I did that. But then I felt so pull back to the kitchen. They don't like that. If ever you think like, well, maybe I'll be a singer. If they're like, you're not a real chef. Yeah. Yeah.

How about you get Fwagra tattooed on your knuckles? Then we can talk. Yeah, exactly. Get a drug addiction over comment, possibly have diabetes of some kind. And you know, be saved by cooking. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. By the way, someone tweeted at us to say that their daughter has diabetes and that the

reason why with Sam's low sugar chicken, it was about how, you know, when you have diabetes, a certain, the certain type of diabetes and I'm very sorry, because I don't remember what type it is. But type one that you have to like countercarbs because it's really important. So, yes, I want to make sure that we understood the importance of like a low glycemic count with the chicken, but we just thought it was funny that Sam last week was just being like, yes, low sugar so it's healthier. You know, like, if that's your issue, then why are you opening a fried chicken restaurant? You know what I mean? I'm not making front of people with diabetes. I'm just saying like it's like me opening

Like a snicker store, you know, and then being like why can't I lose? What like I mean, I I mean, I understand also he's basically saying look if you're diabetic Like this is a food that's no longer out of bounds for you. So I get that too, but Sam just annoys me. So we're going to take a shot at him. We're for weekend. Yeah, your child decides. Sorry. We love your child. You're just going after Sam. That's all.

We're just being caddy. And Sam, if you're listening, we're just being caddy. They're just being caddy because we're gay and we're on a podcast. And that's kind of our birthright at this point. So just go with it. Thanks for being so nice, Sam.? I mean Sam's being so lovely. Just general and like awkwardly so like to the point where I'm like why is he smiling so much? Makes me feel weird I like it. So we're both We're both doubling down on and

Also being ashamed of our caddiness. I like that. I like that tension that we can have. Yeah, just open a meat place. How about you do that? Just open a meat place. Just don't fuck with fried chicken. I feel like fried chicken has been fucked with enough. I don't need diabetic fried chicken. I'm still not over the Atkins chocolate bars.

Like I'm furious about it. It doesn't make sense. Yeah, get it out of my face. I'm just overhipsed or fried chicken. That's all, even though I will probably continue to eat it. It's just, I'm just overhips or fried chicken. That's all even though I will probably continue to eat it It's just it's I'm just I'm just over it's like fried chicken, you know, you can get it from a box Yeah, so the next challenge they're stuck on teams again and this time they're doing a seven course or a spod might say This week you are doing a seven course head to head meal and

you are doing a seven course head to head meal. And it will be a room full of top chef super fans here in this kitchen. I wonder how much of her is just spliced and taped together. God bless it. God bless it. Whoever's doing the splicing the taping, they're doing a great job because I love me some padmok almost as much as I love me some gal. Now I wrote down what was going on, but these dishes are so fucking long, they have to name everything in their dish, they're like, well, I made a radish cornish on with a bit of red onion and a marriage of sauce and blah, it's so long I can't write down all the titles.

And by the time we get to do the recaps, I'm like, what they make, I just wrote like radish and a sauce. Well, stupid. Yeah, because radish was the theme. They had to make the humble radish because it's Chris Cossentino was the guest judge, as well as Richard Blase. I thought we were done with him. So of course, just along those lines, BJ Smith, who is Mr. Fwagra Knuckles, and like, I'm

in Portland and I like to cook meat. I like to cook pork belly, you know, because it's so primal and like isn't so earthy, but it's just you know that's hipster meat thing. You know, and I love meat. It's just that annoying hipster meat thing. Um, and he gets a big meat. Yeah, so does my mom every day of her life. Like, so yeah. So he he was the one who came up with this bullshit. He's like, I've made a conserva of radish. Like what the fuck is a conserva? I googled it to see if there's like, is this a term that people use? Maybe in some various specific instances,

but it's just say you made some radish. You made a radish dish. It's not a conserva and radish. Or I hate when people say, this is a study in radish. And we have here we have a radish consume and then pickled radish and then a braised radish. It's a studying radish. No, it's just just just say radish three ways.

It's a fucking radish and you know my least favorite thing that they do came up this week a couple times. That's a pickled radish. I'm like, you did not pickle a radish in 20 damn minutes. So please stop. You're not only ready. They did have an overnight. They were able to prep at the night before. So maybe there was a little bit more legitimacy to the pickle. Oh, okay. Okay. I take back my pickle. Okay. I think also Sam was annoying me this episode because he was on the green team. And they all had a boner over his name. Silver. Sylvia. I think it's silver. Sylvia is the girl and silver is the guy. Oh my God, there's a silver and a

silver. Oh, yeah, silver is the guy. Silver is the cute guy who's going to win this whole thing. And then silver is the girl. Okay, she's from Italy and she was making a radish cake. And and basically, sorry, I have to come to go. I can't believe you can hear the thumping. It is shocking to me. I'm like, I can I can barely hear the to go through. I can't believe you can hear the thumping. It is shocking to me.

I'm like, I can barely hear the thumping here. I can't believe you're hearing the, blow blow blow. Sylvia Barbin. Well, that's how you know I'm like, I'm getting to their names. Cause you know with Bravo, you have to scroll through the slider.

So anyway, she's in love with Sam and Sam was just, I don't know if he knows that she's in love, but he was like, whoa, Sylvia, you're killing it. You're gonna do it. You're the most amazing. I feel it. I feel your energy coming through. He's like, bro, bro, that that ratish cake, that's like,

that's gonna fucking win it for us right there. He's like, high fiveing everyone. He's like, yo, bro, yo, right there. That ratish cake, well, that is amazing. And then they're like, we gave the victory. The brook. And not only that brook, but it was the best piece of radish cake I have ever had in my entire life.

And Tom's like, yeah, you know, I say, I said a lot of things. And one time I said, that was the best dessert. But this time, I think this dessert rivals that one. I'm like, oh, okay, you couldn't say it was better than that one. But it rivals that. It rivaled me as his kids must feel like, will you okay, you couldn't say it was better than that one. But it rivals that. It rivaled me. This is his kids must feel like, will you ever just hug me? Dad, will you ever just say good job?

It looks like it hurts when he says a good job because he actually did it a couple of times. He's like, well, nothing to say, really? Uh, it was good. It's just good. It's just, it's about really good dishes. I think I could have just, yep, have them both go through. You know, it's just, yep, good dishes. All of you, it's about really good dishes. I like it. I would just Yep. Have them both go through. You know, it's just yep. Good dishes. All of you can do it. Just good dishes.

It's your pasta was your pasta was sticking heavy. So it was a technical thing. But you know, good. Still good. It was good. I mean, it's a good dish. What can I say? Um, I by the way, I am still rooting for Brooke to win this whole thing because I. I am still mad about her finale situation, how they did that. And I mentioned this last week how they did that stupid iron chef set up with Kristen who came back from last chance kitchen who like, it was, it was the first time they, I think they did last chance kitchen and they insert her into like the final round of the finals or

something like that. And they had that stupid thing where Brooke had made this dessert and she didn't get to do it. And she had CJ on and CJ burned all her shit. Like, I was so mad. It was like the worst finale they ever did because they changed the format. And I feel like Brooke really was robbed of being able to be judged properly.

And so I am still rooting. And when they said, what? You've been vindicated and you made a good dessert. You've been vindicated. I'm like, she's not been vindicated. Okay, put her in the finals and let her do her thing. Then she'll be vindicated. I'm actually glad that she lost like that

because it was so crushing to her. And you can tell it still weighs on her mind. She's like, here I am again, you know, because I didn't win. So. I don't know why you hate Brooke so much. I don't hate her. It's, here's who I don't,

I don't like when they come back and they're really snotty. And she's not because she's very humbled. You know what I mean? If that makes any sense, like Katzooie comes back and he's like, oh yes, now the master of everything. So you know, I just make me comments about everybody and then she'll then even, who's like the nicest guy in the world, seems like a little to like, what do you have a parade float every year in the parade? Like you're a chef calm down with yourself. Like there's so many questions. Yeah,

well, I like that she doesn't have it because she she thinks of herself as the one that lost, you know, yeah, and I like that. I think it's good for her personality. Right. I think a lot of chefs are impressed with themselves just inherently. And so once they've already been on top chef once and they're going up against rookies, they're like doubly impressed with themselves. And not to say that they don't always deserve it. I mean, a lot of chefs should be impressed with themselves. But especially on top chef, there is this thing of like,

yeah, I got a million tattoos and I smoke pork belly because pork belly is awesome. I love pork, tattoo with bacon and fwagra and I'm like a knife and a spoon the I mean, Sheldon's one of the nicest people who's ever been on this show and even he's just making me fucking crazy. Like when the when the top chef super fans came in, he's like, oh, hey, hey, they're super fans. Okay. You know, have a scene and like he was just being so Smarmy and he's just being nice. Like he really didn't even do anything wrong. I just like humble Humble little sweaty Sheldon who didn't feel good enough to be there. That's who I want back Yeah, so now silver, you know, silver I think seems to be extremely talented and he seems very sweet and humble And it was funny because he tried to talk shit in front of the audience. He's like oh

I see a lot of Green paddles. Yes, I do They're like oh so that just just go back to being like a teddy bear and cooking really good food So this never given the curtain speech, you know, he's not that guy is like welcome to the theater Please keep your cameras in your pockets. We're glad to have the art like there man here or whatever I thought you're doing the arc light theater Sally Caliman is here to talk about a lot of land Because she's lived in Los Angeles a long time. So she has insight into Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling.

Oh, so they had when they went up against each other head to head they had to present their dishes to the judges and to the audience. And the audience gets one vote and then the three judges get another vote and then they each get to tie. They each get a turn tie breaking or whatever. And they were being such bitches when they went up in front of the judges Like Katsu he goes. Oh here's radish Mexican radish and some ladder with a green on chitilly whatever and I put actual radish top on the top of it because I didn't want to offend you with a micro green and Then John who's competing against him is like well,, well, this is radish, cone radish of radish, and it's topped with microgreens.

Yeah. I love a good microgreens, this. Oh, my God. Someone's like, so I know BJ is like covering up his microgreens tattoo. He's like, thank that one. Thank God that one's under my armpit.

It's armpit, my carcane. He's a poor choice. Poor choice. So let's see, who else went up? AngryLena.com. One, her is, didn't she? Yeah, and I was happy for her for winning because she's just so fucking miserable. I mean, she's such an angry, miserable human being and I'm loving that she's on this

so. And I hope she gets to stay forever because I love her. I'd need there to be like an angry woman who wins. Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah. Um, and essentially it was like a really close matchup. Uh, blue took a lead and then greens are to come back. But in the end, it was Brooks dessert that won it for the team and so Blue won and then was And then was safe from elimination and then there there are people I think there were four people on the green team who then were up for elimination because they're the four that lost it for the team and

Sylvia was one of them, but she was pretty much safe and then there's some others But I think B.J. Casey and Sylvia in the bottom. But the only real bottoms were Sam and the tattoo guy, right? The guy who made our beef. So Casey, B.J. No, but B.J. I thought it was the guy. Oh, yeah. Casey was fine because you did that fun thing where she made the rash look like a scallop, which I love it when chefs chefs do that I don't know why I just love it But and by the way I would I don't mind radish. I like radishes However, if I bid into what I thought was a scallop and was a radish, I would be thoroughly disappointed Yeah, and for it's like not fair. They basically had 14 ravished dishes. Think about that

That's intense, But I did like that when she they go, yeah, that was crazy that you made a scallop or you made a scallop out of a radish and prodigers. I didn't even know it was a radish. It's like you because you wasted. You could have been eating a pepperoni pizza for all you knew. Dodo over. She spit it out. She's like, this scallop has turned. Next time she eats a scallop, she's going to be like, this is the best radish I've ever had. They're going to be like, well, someone reset watermelon. This was the best meal I've ever had on top chef. They were talking someone made a halibut like a halibut over radish and then

somebody made like a radish over radish or whatever. And Tom goes, well, you know, I really like when there's there's more radish because it was a radish challenge and Padma goes, yeah, I think that was a fish dish. Like good call Padma. It was a fistish. Like, good call, Padmah. It was a fistish. So at the end of the day, whatever it was that Sam made, I don't even even remember at this point, it wasn't good enough. And Sam was sent home. And Padmah was like, I'm so sorry Sam. They were like devastated because they were like, they basically were like, Sam is our hunk who's going to bring in all the viewers. And so probably the producer says,

don't probably told him, don't worry, we're going to keep you on a long time. Please come back because we want you on. And you're like one of our stars. And don't you worry, we'll have you on for six weeks at least because you're too handsome. And then they basically vote them off because you had a shitty dish. Yeah. Well, people that watch top chef because they want to fuck the people on it. That's for Garam sir. I mean, these people look like they extras in like, I don't know, a pirate movie.

Like, the people look crazy. Tom went, I like when Tom really, you can really tell when he feels bad because he goes, no, you know what Sam, listen, this sucks. And he goes, yep, it sure does. Okay, potma. Let's see the last chance kitchen. So that was top chef.

And that brings us to the end of another episode. We will be doing grill housewives of Atlanta this week on Thursday, because we are putting Mary to medicine to rest until 2017 because you know what? We deserve a goddamn break. We certainly do, and I also have to get a haircut, so... So they're gonna be gone. Oh, Lord, that sounds... For those of you who really love Mary to Atlanta, don't forget we will be going to five shows a week. What do I say?

Mary to Atlanta, Mary to medicine. We will be going to five shows a week So the shows that get the short shrift on these long ass podcasts will actually probably get the not short shrift Coming in 2017. So yay 2017. Yeah. Well, this has been lovely. And that's that's it. It's that's all we have to say. That's all we have to say. It's been all we have to say. It's been lovely.

Okay. Fucking lovely. Ben, there's no accident that your name wraps with friend because you are a good one. Oh, you are a good friend. And everyone remembers you chime in about cities where we can go touring to and also your favorite moments from the past six to nine months. Just tweet them at us or post it on Facebook page. Yes, and we will be back Thursday and then

next week is the crappies. We'll come back y'all. We'll talk to you later. Talk to you later. Bye! podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at onedry.com slash survey.