Watch What Crappens - #359: 2016 Crappies Awards

Episode Date: December 27, 2016

With 2016 drawing to a close, it's time for that most hallowed of Watch What Crappens traditions: The Crappies! Join Ben and Ronnie as they hand out the vaunted Golden Crappy to a variety of winners from categories such as Best Bravo Star and Best Friendployee. It's a celebration of all things Bravo! So put on your finest crocs and bust out the iceberg lettuce because we are partying today!! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. The 2016 Golden Crapie Awards are brought to you by our Patreon Supersponsor Madonna Hines,

as well as our Premium Sponsors, Mia Hansen-Loha and Kristi D'Aurry, and our very special birthday girl sponsor Jackie Santoshan, happy birthday girl! Live from Los Angeles, California! It's the 26th annual Crabby Award! With your host, Ronnie Carrom, and Ben Mandelker! Ooh! Hi everybody! Hi! Hi! I'm Ringle Navy. Thank you. Hi everybody Wringled Navy Thank you. Thank you. Thanks mom. What a year 2016 wasn't great for anyone, but it was great for some people

It wasn't even a joke And now they're not laughing with us And now they're not laughing with us. The first award goes out to the thing I'm sick of people saying the most and that is the 2016 was a shitty year. Congratulations saying 2016 was an amazing year, okay? Now let's stop worrying about stupid shit we can't do anything about. Yeah. And start being thankful for what we have, like stupid rubber face people on TV,

magnetize out of themselves. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Ron, you really said it best. Well, why don't we... It's very hard to make commentary and press sound effect buttons, but... I know, you've got a lot going on over there.

But anytime I feel like one of my jokes needs a little boost, I know what I can do it. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Like the three, I like that we have the entire three-s company audience here. I, I, I, I, I, I awards were, what do they call what a Bravo call their awards? Who cares? If those weren't satisfying to you, don't worry because the crap ones are here and this is like our fourth or fifth one of doing them and we have a lot of fun and we are gonna start right now. Not a lot of enthusiasm from the audience. Yeah, they're like yeah, finally you guys just talk too much at the top. It's just like a regular episode. Yeah. All right, Ronnie. You want to kick off our first category of the evening. Yes, let's do it. Yes. I'm going to randomly pick from the most important of all of the the the nominee. What are you calling categories? Okay. I think we just start with the big one. Let's start with the best vacation.

Otherwise they're going to find it. Okay. Okay. We're changing the order here. Let me get to the page. Excuse me. I'm getting the envelope to read the nominees or to travel. And it's been presses his control F on his computer to find vacation. Now these are not all housewives. They don't have to be real housewives. They can be anything on Bravo. But this year, the best vacations were all in the housewives franchise universe universe. The universe, the housewives and multiverse. Yes. So the first nominee is are you from Greystones? Are you from Greystones? Are you from Greystones? The trip to Ireland on the real housewives of Orange County.

Next step. I hope you're on the way. I know. I was going to say I hope you weren't winning for me to hit the applause thing because I'm not going to hit that sound effect every single time. No, no. No. Yeah. Thank you for that. Like we all can agree that we thank you for that. But I did arrange to have a drill outside my window for this special occasion. Oh my god. I brought my I brought my special guest leaf blower. You'll be hearing him go around the house in any second now. Yes.

He's out there blowing away. Like the cast of the Real Housewives of Orange County in Ireland. He is looking at you, Vic. Onward upwards. The next nominee is the Berkshire's trip on Real Housewives of New York City. Strong. The Miami trip on Real Housewives of New York City. The Austin trip on the Real Housewives of Dallas.

A strong contender because that one, there was an entire storyline devoted to feces and fighting it. In bags, in gift bags or baskets, depending on whose version of the story you believe. Vermont trip on Real Housewives of New Jersey, I can't even believe that's on here. Vermont, well, there was. There was. Nominate people.

Listen, don't shame the nomination committee on this one because I believe that the nomination committee felt like uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh have the dueling Dubai trims on Real Housewives of Melbourne and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, darling. Alright, all right. Baylor gonna announce the winner. Oh, I'm gonna announce, okay, I like that. Okay, you read the nominees, I read the winner and then vice versa. Okayrapie goes to the Berkshire's Real Housewives of New York City. I mean, this was actually a really competitive category because Beverly Hills and Melbourne put on great showings in Dubai with some fantastic fighting, etc. And even within New York City itself, the

the Miami trip was pretty epic and of course I think it had been any other year Ireland in on OC would have taken the cake because that was some deep shit that came out That was hilarious and horrifying and crazy, but the Berkshires that was some deep shit that came out that was hilarious and horrifying and crazy. But the Berkshires, that was legendary. That was an episode that I don't, just every now and then an episode comes along with the Real Housewives. When you watch it, you feel like you're watching history being made. It was just an instant iconic hour of TV. I mean, I made it nice. There was, I made it nice from Durinda.

There was, I mean, multiple Santa clauses. There were just Santa clauses everywhere. Yeah. There was Bethany and Carol being evil. And then Bethany calling Louanna Hore and everything else she called her. And then Louann's best comeback of the year, her best comeback line of the year. Well, you stole my hair. What about your hair? I don't think I'll ever forget. And don't forget Jules, whose father was like sick in the hospital,

and she's saying, yeah, my dad isn't the hospital, he's not doing well. And Leuverne's like, what would you believe that Bethy could be so selfish? Could you believe the thing she was saying about me? Yeah, but my dad's about to die. Well, guess what else died today? Any support I had for Bethany?

Yeah, that was, that was an absolutely amazing thing. So anyway, congratulations. Congratulations, New York. You know what? Celebrate with a sheet cake. Yeah, celebrate with a sheet cake. On top of another sheet cake. celebrate with a chic cake. Yeah, celebrate with chic cake.

On top of another chic cake. And maybe a tray full of some deli meats that you can yell about cooking, but you didn't. All right, so on to the next category. It is best friend ployee. The best friend ployee. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Yes, everything. Okay, so we have first up, first nominee Best friend, ploy, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Pat the pus, Pat the pus. We have Rainia and Pauline from Lazy London.

Mad news mom. Mad news mom. Giftshop is going down. Or that's the gift store with her. Yeah, but says not doing well with gifts, basically. Yeah, they have the gift library and then the gift library. Yeah, the gift library. Caroline, Stambury has the gift library and then the gift library. Yeah, the gift library. Caroline, Stambury had the gift library.

And then Julie Montague has the gift shop. And the gift shop has our next nominees. The old ladies of Matt Burton, known as Am Thea, Leslie, and Barrel from Ladies of London. And then you can barely hide their disdain for the Americans. So good. Then we also have the old lady gang from Real House of Atlanta. We get in pain.

Sonya's interns on Real House House of New York poor things. I mean, they're just too young to win. Like no one wants to see a 20 year old win. I think you could also have an honorary nominee for Bethany's employees known as colloquia, as wasa matter? What's going on? The Mia, the Christian life slash personal trainer coach from Real House of the Orange County.

Of course, one of our favorite friend-ploys of all Jesus on Real House of the Orange County. on real house was a project. I mean, he's done a pretty bang up job. Ronnie, would you like to, oh, and now the printer is starting up, like there's just a lot of hub hub. What's the printer talking about? Is it printing the award? Sometimes the printer just turns on

and makes like a noise. It'd be like, hey, I'm still here. And then it quies down. Takes like, it sounds I'm still here. And then it quits down. It takes like a- Brrrr- I'm here! It sounds like it's printing something, and then it'll just stop. It'll be like, I'm going into the motions. Yeah, it really does. It's like fumping around over there.

Yeah, it sounds like pages are going through. Nothing is happening. It's just sort of like, given a little stretch. It's like when a cat wakes up from a nap and then goes back to sleep again. Well, the runner up for this category is the old ladies of Mapperton. Yes. But as they are brand new and have only really had a couple of episodes, the committee

from the Foreign Bloggers Press Association of America decided they're too new, okay? Yes, they have been disqualified in 2016. And also their speech would just be like, you're stupid, these awards are stupid. They probably didn't even show up. I don't even see them in the audience. So they would be mad that we have branding on the award. So the actual award goes to Christian Coats Me on Real Housewives of Orange County. Wow.

Come on, Tamara, what would Jesus do? That's not what I wanted to see. Now squat, pray, squat, lift, squat. I just love the mixture of a personal trainer who's screaming about training and then a Jesus trainer who's training, who's screaming about being nice, but also can help you pick the perfect asless bikini to wear for your bikini competition. I know.

That's called versatility. And if, if nothing else, the crappies will always reward versatility. Yes. Um, to your family to be a housewife, too girly to be a house husband, but just right to be a Jesus trainer. I like it. I support it. All right. So that was that category. So congratulations, coach Mia. Mia, you deserve everything you get. Okay. Next up is the best interview outfit. Ooh.

Now hold on one second while I go close this thing over here to make the drilling go down. Sing a song. Now it's time for a musical number on our crappies. Well, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do pick one we got a pick thank you very much thank you thank you okay so now best interview outfit and here are the nominees phadres white cotton L number from the current season of real house of Atlanta phadres board de, Madame, ice skating dress, from I guess last season. And then also our final nominee in the category, Karen Hubert's Muppet Dress

from Real Housewives of Potomac. And the winner. Yeah, I feel like some people from Dallas should have gotten nominations because you know some of that was cotton. Yeah, I'm sure there's probably a New Jersey one in there too, that probably should have gotten nominations because you know some of that was cotton. Yeah. I'm sure there's probably a new Jersey one in there too. That probably should have gotten into the mix. But you know, we would have had a strong, we would have had more,

but Teresa really failed us the season on the interview outfit front. She should have been four of the nominees. Yeah. And Ramona failed us too. She normally has a good ensemble to, uh, to bring to the table. But the winner of Best Interview Outfit goes to Karen Hubert's Muppetress on Real Housewives of Potomac. Oh man, what a threat.

It's a good idea. It's a good idea. It's a good idea. I mean, that's a rest. It was just like one thing of blue fabric that just, it was just like one thing of blue fabric that just it was just like a tube. It was just this big cloth that had just been sewn all around her. It was so bonkers and so crazy. And it was the only thing that could distract from her eyebrows that were penciled in all

the way down to her cheekbones. Yeah, her eyebrows and her moving mole. And that dress was a turtleneck dress. And it was really tight. And it came all the way up to her chin line. So she really did, you know, when I started recapping one of the first things I noticed about housewives was that they all were kind of like Chuck E. Cheeseheads. They were all like these larger than life heads that have been worked on a little bit too much. And they only really come to life the shoulder up. And that's what Karen was like.

And it was just like a little head sticking on a, I don't know, like a fabric cardboard thing that would just move around and be really nasty. So I approve. It was the creepiest head for sure, on top of the dress. Yeah, and if we had an award for creepiest head on top of the dress, it would definitely be Karen Hubert. She would definitely would have swapped that category as well.

Yes. Okay, the next category. I can't speak today, which is not really that different from any other day. Well, to be fair, we did not do a dress rehearsal at this award show. We're just being crazy hosts, which is amazing since we have such a patient audience. Yes, give yourself a round of applause. That's right. You guys are great.

All right, so what's the next category, Derrani? The best come back from a reputation disaster. Wow, nice. This is a good one. It's I'm reading these right. Yeah, I forgot the rule. Okay. Sonia Morgan, who didn't drink for a couple of weeks on Real Housewives of New York, Ramona from Real Housewives of New York, Tamara Jesus from Real Housewives of Orange County, Vicki from Real Housewives of Orange County, Vicki from real housewives of Orange County, Porsche on real housewives of Atlanta, Lisa Rina, real housewives of Beverly Hills,

or Teresa from the real housewives of New Jews. All right, and let's get that envelope ready, Ben. Actually, I think I was supposed to read those and you're supposed to answer this, but I'll just do it. I'll just do it. We'll do two in a row for you. No, no, you answered it.

And let's see if our envelope said the same thing. Okay, and the winner of Best Comeback from Reputation Disaster is... Sonia Morgan, Real real house of New York. So is that what your envelope said also? No mindset, Vicki, but I think that it's because Vicki had the worst one, which makes it the most fun, which is why some of the foreign press chose her. Yeah. Because Biggie just keeps trying. You know, she whipped out cancer that didn't work.

So then she whipped out, you know, cancer insurance to get along with your auto insurance. That didn't work. Then she tried being nice to the mean girls and turned on Kelly. That didn't work. It's like she just can't win, but she just keeps trucking. So I say the best comeback is just never having a comeback.

I don't think it'd come back. I need it for ever. Yeah, for effort. Well, it's funny. So that's what the foreign press declared, but the domestic press, which was the envelope that I'm representing. The domestic press was behind Sonia Morgan because Sonia Morgan spent so many seasons just being the crazy crazy one. And this season she looked great, she was fun, she was funny, we were on her side, we felt bad for her when Bethany ripped her a new one. We even felt bad for her in the whole Tom Fiasco thing. Versus Ramona, Ramona was just being Ramona, she really wasn't any different. Tamra, she had us fooled for a good portion of the season that she was better and she wasn't doing anything, but then Ireland came around and she's stirred up a lot of shit

there. And Vicki, you know, she had the farthest to come back from. And she did better. And I think that she won herself over to the audience a little bit more because she basically was paired with Kelly. And everyone liked Kelly at the end of the season audience-wise. But she really didn't come back. Porsche, man, she's... Yeah, she'll be somebody up any second. Lisa Rina, you know, she's...

I think Lisa Rina doesn't have that far to come back from. And Teresa, she seemed like she had come back. She was much better this season. But then she was like a crazy idiot at the reunion again. So I say Sonia Morgan partially by default, but also I think she had the best comeback. Yes. And Sonia Morgan, she really did have a perfect season of Sonia. You know, there was enough crazy there. She started her new business.

She didn't understand why it was stolen, which was hilarious. Then she wasn't upset about Tom at all until they talked her into being upset. Then she was like legit upset, which was hilarious. She was just perfect. It was like a perfect season of Sonya Crazy Town. Yeah. I agree.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot to add one thing. Also, she did the best recovery. This is the best way to do it. You don't stop drinking. You just stop drinking around the people who judge you. And I think that that's a lesson we can all learn. So thank you, Sonya Morgan.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We now take a break from the crappies to talk to you that one of our sponsors. Hello, fresh. Hello, fresh. Hello.

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And I love a spice mixture girl My Lebanese side is like looking at all those ingredients Putting them all together That was a funny people That's hilarious They're not laughing at that, they're not laughing at that, they don't like they don't like being called out That audience is riceiest Guys

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Alright, now the next category, I will read the nominations for the nominees and you will open the envelope. And this is a big one. The category is best newbie. It's a new face on Bravo. Best new person. I don't want to say new face because that implies a lot of things. It's the best new casting choice. Yeah, everybody would be nominated. Yeah.

Okay, so the nominees for Best New Be are Leanne from Real Housewives of Dallas. Yay. Karen Hubert, Real Housewives of Potomac, Kelly Dodd, Real Housewives of Orange County. Eric Glahand applies. Here. Okay. So it's happening. Glahand applies. Eric, a Jane, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and Sophie Stanbury, Ladies of London.

Yay. Love all those ladies. And the winner can't wait to see what the gloves gave it to. Oh my gosh, this one I didn't even have to open the envelope. Because it's even written on the front and back of the envelope because this person is so deserving. Congratulations, trolley abuser. Yeah.

Yeah. Real housewives of Dallas. Yes. I was really hoping that was the name you were going to read because I feel like there was not no better choice this entire year. No one was as great of a newcomer as she was. No one held a candle to that crazy face. Okay. No one. She's nuts. That show was got a lukewarm response like putting it nicely. People really did not like that. So I've been and I are the only people who I think love that show. Yeah. I haven't met anybody who's like, I didn't even love it. I, but I, I was

in it for Leanne 100%. I loved it. And she is so crazy. And she doesn't really know it. And also she's really poor and trying to be rich. She's not like one of the housewives like Dorit, who's poor and trying to pretend she's rich. Leigh has like, no, I'm like legit poor. Trying to hang out with the rich girls. And I really like that. I liked her just out of control craziness.

And of course she hit the trolley. So she hit the trolley so she hit a trolley and and by the way Kelly Dodd a very strong runner up she she she was great and you know without her this latest season I don't know where it would have been this whole season of Orange County was about Kelly Dodd so she put in a very strong showing but Leanne I mean she carried an entire show. It was all her. And the trolley, the trolley. I mean, enough said it was trolley. Not only the trolley, not only the trolley,

but to go back to the Austin thing, the fact that the biggest scandal in Leanne's life, which caused all the drama, is that she's shit in a basket. I mean, there's just nothing that compares to that. And we're not even joking. If you didn't watch the show, that was literally a scandal that she shit in a basket once and someone gossiped about it. Oh, so good.

And it also our favorite term, I think, for the whole season. I don't think we have a category for this. We should have. Mine was definitely, well, there's two from her. One is you little Mimicr. Mimicr? That was my favorite, yeah. And the other was you your charity world is over.

And the truth is that when we're doing the show, there were several other lianisms that we were doing. It's just that now, sometime we've sort of forgotten them. But yeah. The ones that stick around are the best. Yeah. Way, way, way reserved. I'm just so grateful.

We love you, girl. Here's your big basket enough into shit and tea. Yeah. Hey. I'm going to do, and I'll read another category. Since I did two in a row, We love you, girl. Here's your big basket enough into shit and tea. Yeah. I'm going to do, I'll read another category. Since I did two in a row, you get to do two in a row. Okay. Yeah, why not?

How about storylines that most deserve to die, the crappy for the storyline that most deserves to die? Oh my gosh, there's so many that we could nominate Ben. Yes, the fees are the five best or worse. And the nominees are geriatric pregnancies. Yes. Huha waxing, trendy exercise classes, crab boils.

And hat parties. I mean, crab boils, they've already over thinned it. It's only been like one season they've been doing crab boils. But yeah, real housewives of whatever, what are we watching now? What's the Texas E1 now that we're watching? Oh, Houston, the marriage medicine Houston. They had a crab boil and next week they're having a half party. Oh, yeah, they have a rough. Oh, crawfish party. Okay. Boils. The winner is claw hand, claw hand, claw hand, claw hand. Did you hear that? Yeah.

Okay, the winner is geriatric pregnant geriatric pregnancy. Yeah, that one is not only is it tired, but it's so contrived. I mean, these women are not getting pregnant. And we saw this. We've seen it with Lisa Nicole in Mara to medicine. We saw it with Dawn on Real House of Cheshire we saw it. I don't remember who else we saw it We saw it a lot. We've seen it with Dr. Jackie. We've seen it with oh god tamer getting the fake

Yeah, all of it. It's just it's too. Yeah, too much. I do not care about your womb. It's only been out of my TV shows. It's only worked once, and that was when Ramona had that moment when she thought she might be pregnant. And that was hilarious because for some reason, tired stories work on New York City. They just, yeah. Ramona can make any storyline work.

Okay, let's face it. Ramona wants everything. Okay, face it. Okay. Okay, let's face it. Ramona wants everything. Okay. Face it. Okay. Okay. So now who reads off?

Now you would read off a category and I will read the envelope of it. Let me see here. Most deserving of a spin off. Whoa. So we've got Juliet and Carol on standby of ladies of London. We have band dollar and Emily, funny rabbit for Polo deck.

Can you believe it girls? Lewann and I don't know the bag boy Tom from Real Housewives of New York. We have let space Ramona and any random guy in a bar on Real Housewives of New York. We have let space Ramona and any random guy in a bar on real housewives of New York. You come here often or Erica and you're Landa of real housewives of Beverly Hills. All right, let's get those open. And the winner of the most deserving of a set of spin-off is observing of a stent of a spin-off is. Oh. Oh. Oh.

It's Ramona and any random guy in a bar in New York. Oh. And here to accept the award is Ramona Singer herself. Oh my God, Ramona! Whoa, this is crazy. This is crazy. I never wondered what before. I always submit in raffles.

I never even went to raffle. And I remember this one, this crazy. I remember this one time when there's a little girl. I tried to put a ticket into a raffle thing and Geraldine Parsons said, hey, don't enter to a raffle because you've nothing to ever come good for you. Stop getting a hope so high. Just go into the forest and just cry for 10 days instead. And that's what I did.

And to this day, I've never entered a raffle. Well, this is crazy. I Would like to thank the guy who came up to me in a bar and said what's your sign? And then I started signing to him in sign language because I thought he was deaf And he said no, when were you born and I was like what are you deaf? It's so funny I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but you know what? You know what? I'm a hot woman and I'm single and I'm ready to mingle

and I'm sick of me, Ariel. Instead, I just want to go and dig, okay? So I remembered this one time with this crazy. I was at AOA, okay? And this man walked up to me and he said, hey, do you use Windex on your pants? And I said, I do, why do you ask? And he said, hey, do you use windex on your pants? And I said, I do. Why do you ask?"

And he said, oh, because I can really see myself in your zipper. And I said, that makes no sense. And he said, no, you're not listening to what I say. I can see myself in your zipper. And I said, I'm not even wearing a zipper. And then the wind came in and stole him away from me right in the middle of our romance. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I would say class A. And finally, I would like to think the wind, okay?

For stealing away the guy who is teaching me backgammon, Tom Tekestino, because I don't need to be learning backgammon. A twin in the morning from some guy who probably thinks backgammon means playing with my penis. Okay, so enjoy being a whore and I will enjoy my Fitchina, which is just my and possibly Marios, if you ever come back, no pressure, okay. And I just wanna congratulate the audience here at the crappies because at least you didn't have to learn how to play back, Amin, on page six.

Yeah, Ramona, I love you. Yeah, Ramona, I love you. Yeah. We love you, Batch. Love you, Bats. Okay, Ben, what's next? Um, how about, here's a good one, um, how about, um, the manipulation award, this is a very special award that we are starting out, starting this year, it's basically the equivalent of the, um, the, uh, the governor's award at the Oscars, if that is an award. And this goes to the Bravo Star, who manipulated a situation the best this year.

And the nominees for the manipulation award, casually known as the Manny, go are Bethany Frankel. Now, for those of you who don don't remember Bethany is accused of working with production to get the picture of Tom making out with some chicken a bar and making sure the one sees it in a very prominent storyline on the trip and refusing to do so unless you got a producer credit. Now that is the rumor. We don't know if it's true, but it was a good storyline. So we'll done Lisa Vanderpump. Vanderpump. She manipulated everything. Yes. I'm sorry. Um, Tamara judge. Tamara judge manipulated. She gets everybody into a fight. And then it's like, what? What

did I do every season every face every fight of this season of Orange County you can trace back to Tamra in some way shape or form every single one there's not one absolutely face back to her. Resa from Shaza sunset. Resa who turns all of his own friends against each other every single season he picks another one to villainize and then watches them rip each other's shirts out while he sits back and gets batter and batter and then pass aggressive bouquets. And then Jacqueline Lareda Jacqueline had to be on this list because she's tried really hard to manipulate her newbies but ended up screwing it up because she's so damn crazy.

So it didn't really work. And it's so good an A for effort. Well, and also allegedly she manipulated the feds against Theresa. Which brings her back into the front, you see? And then last but not least, our final nominee for the manny, the crappy manny is Yolanda Hadid Foster, Fawster Hadid Foster. Yeah.

Yolanda was the first housewife to ever get the entire cast organized enough to turn against Vanderbump. Yeah. Like the first time, I mean, they've tried to in pieces, but Yolanda had her fake friendship with Erica and she, you know, Erica was getting for Lisa but Yolanda had her fake friendship with Erica and she, you know, Erica was getting for Lisa for Yolanda. And then Yolanda got super tricky and get made, Reneville so guilty about the much-housings comment.

Does she got that bitch to go too? I mean, she could manipulate a lot of people, you guys. She really can. So please tell us who is the most manipulative of all. I think the biggest winner of the years, Miss Chamra Bonnie. Wow. I can not see that coming. I thought it was going to be a Yolanda one for sure. Well, Yolanda's gone. So she lost. Well, yeah, she can't win. That just goes to show us that Lisa probably had the upper hand on that one. She did, but she doesn't actually

do as much manipulating. I agree. I agree. I think they manipulate themselves. Because we see when Lisa Vanderpump tries to do her manipulating, it never works. Like it's so obvious what she's doing, you know, she's not subtle with it. But Tamara, on the other hand, was extremely subtle. I mean, Tamara really didn't get that much hate this season, considering all the shit she pulled. She really did walk away pretty clean, considering that she started so much of this crap. And she even hit somebody. Yeah, she's still fine. So there you go. Absolutely. Nice work, Tamara. You're an awful human being. You get worse by the season and god damn it. I'm glad you're on these shows. Absolutely. 100%. All right. What's the next category?

The next category is looking through the categories, looking through the categories. And I'm looking through the categories, looking through the categories. And I'm looking through the categories. Shall we move to best supporting Bravo Star? Yeah. Sententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententent Super. Super. Super. Super. Super. Super. Super. Alright. Please read the nominees. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions.

What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah. Is it me? I went last time. No, no, you just announced who's who you have the end of the whole thing. Yeah, I talked to you the whole thing, but I took an Um, Ray from Real Housewives of NYC, you bet. How rude. Trash. Trash. Cindy Rose from Mary to Medicine Houston.

Are you sure you wouldn't rather change? I couldn't believe how she came after me. That was anti-Semitic when she said she's going to church. Patricia of Southern Charm. I see no reason to suffer through an inferior martini. Vita from Shaws of Sunset. You play a ping pong. Gale Simmons of top chef. I don't care what season it is. Burnt, rubbery, charred eggs, okay?

That's the only clip I ever want to see you again. Marie from Real Housewives of Potomac. That's actually supposed to say Dallas. That was Dallas, right? Marie from Real Housewives of Dalomac. Love to crab boil. Yeah, Marie doesn't really have...wives of Dallome! I loved your crab boil. Yeah, she didn't, Marie doesn't really have, there's no impersonation from Marie.

Just imagine someone with big giant eyes looking terrified of, yeah, at all times. Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. Remember her terrified doe-eyed blink? Yes. And then JD of Seven Joe! Hey! Yeah!

And then JD of 7 jo- AHHHHH YEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEEYEEE Ah, and the winner, wait, someone's running up to the stage. Someone's- Oh my God. Someone's taking over. Shut up, you trash. Who tells you that I won? Who? Who? Who? That's right. It's Ray from Real Housewives of New York City.

Best Newcomer. I'm sorry, best supporting Bravo Star. I mean, was there ever any chance for anyone else? I mean, how this guy was on TV for all of like four minutes? Bezoo! Who told you on TV? Who shut up, you bitch? Shut up, you trash!

Who I'm trembling in my socks. And he captured the imagination of people all across the country, Nay, all across the world. Ray. Guy was just amazing. To me, this was the sort of cameo that we have not seen since Alice in Dubois. The sort of cameo that we will be talking about for years to come. And if Bravo is smart, they'll have him back on.

And unlike Alison Dubois, I believe he would do it because he posts on his Instagram all the time, like, I'm Ray. Star of Real House of New York City. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. And he is. I mean, in those four minutes, he not only got wasted. I mean, the guy got into a legit fight with,

who did he fight with? Ramona? No, John and Derrinda. What happened was that he was talking to Sonia and Ramona. And then John wanted to kick him out because he was having a dry cleaner party and he wanted to kick Ray out. And then Ramona was like,

whoa, no, that's crazy. You don't get to kick out Ray, okay? You know what, his name is Ray. It's like Sunshine, okay? And that's my favorite, like me and Caroline Flamming. We love Sunshine. You can't kick out Ray. And then that's when Ray was like,

you trash, trash, read, you read. And then you're like, ah! He got Ramona screaming and yelling at John. I mean, that was just beautiful. Then Durinda yelled and screamed at John. I mean, Ray just beautiful then to Rinda yelled and screamed at John I mean Ray was like a domino, you know, he had the domino effect. Yeah, just delicious. Just like dominoes Absolutely. Yeah, that is sponsor for the day. Thank you dominoes. Yeah Well, well deserved Ray. I mean, I'm actually surprised we didn't put him in the newbie category

Because we don't know how long if he's ever come back so he can't really be a newbie But he was a supporting character. For, it's like when Dame Judy Dench won the Oscar for Shakespeare in Love and she only appeared on screen for like 30 seconds, that's what raised. He is our Dame Judy Dench. Yeah, he made out of spent a lifetime preparing for that role, like learning lines,

but he did spend a lifetime preparing for that role, like just building up the awful, to just pull it off. He didn spend a lifetime preparing for that role, like just building up the awful to pull it off. He didn't spend a lifetime for that role, learning lines, but he did spend a lifetime learning for that role by doing lines. Possibly, off of Luar's ass crack. Great job, baby. Great.

Well, the next category is Bass Entrepreneurial Endeavor. Oh, here are the nominees. The next category is best entrepreneurial endeavor. Oh! Here are the nominees. Tipsy girl, Prosecco, not to be confused with skinny girl, anything. Kill all cancer, charity slash insurance policy by Vicki Gumbleton from Real Housewives of Orange County. Our special guest is flying in via helicopter right now. I don't know if you can hear it. No, okay. Oh, they left. They saw that this is the crappies

and not any other award shows they left. So Cynthia Bailey handbags, real house says of Atlanta. And our final nominee, because to be honest, the nominating committee cannot remember other ones. So if there are any last minute write-in suggestions before. No? No, no, no. I already know who I would pick to win. So in the final nominee for Best Entrepreneurial Endeavor, Gigi Hadid, the masterwork of Yolanda Hadid.

And the envelope, sir, would you please read the winner of Best Entrepreneurial Endeavour? Oh my god, that helicopter is over my house now. I love that that's how close we live to each other. You hear a helicopter and then I hear it a couple of minutes later. That's crazy. That's crazy. Hi, this is Ramona Singer. I'm here on the roof of the Crappies award show with the helicopter update. The helicopter that was hovering over the west side of the auditorium is now on the east side of the crappies award show with the helicopter update. The helicopter that was hovering over the west side of the auditorium is now on the east side of the auditorium

back to you, Ronnie Carram. Have day, you say I live on the east side, okay? I, the winner is, doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon No, I don't believe it. Re-upen it. No, re-upen it again. I don't believe it. and doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon doon do cancer. Kill all cancer wins because Vicki Gumbelsen has no shame. She just came off a season where she possibly helped somebody fake cancer and tried to profit off of it. And then decide she's going to rehab her, her whole housewives career and reputation by doing it again and trying to profit off of cancer again in a way that just helps her own insurance, her own insurance company. I mean, that to me is just

there is no set of balls bigger than the balls on Vicki Gumbelson. And I have to say, you know, I bad down. I bad down. The audience had to clap for that one. I mean, Ricky Gumbelsen, let's face it. Got it. Let's face it. Let's, whoa, let's face it. Ricky Gumbelsen has made Councillor Funn again. So thank you, Vicki.

Thank you, Vicki. Oh, wow. She has done so much. All right. So tell us what the next category is. The next category. Now we're gonna get into the big ones. Oh, yeah, this is a good one. Okay, so this is a huge category.

Everybody brace yourselves. Like Lisa Rina on a golf cart. Wow. Okay. Wow. Wow. Wow, I'm dying. This is the best fight of the year, best fight.

Oh, it is 62. Wow. Now for these, we have actual clips that will play after each announcement. Okay. Okay. First up is the 70s party on Real housewives of Orange County You You Repeat that in your mind 30 times

Next up the flick heard round the world on real housewives of Orange County I wish you'd stop flicking my nose. Stop flicking everybody's nose, bitch! What? Stupid. Keep walking. Keep walking. What do you see? You know, Jewish people traditionally have a good sense of humor ahead of the bro. I'm dare you, that is not true? Jewish people are not funny man. Ed Okay, the next right was the sushi dinner real house was Orange County basically The whole season of real house was Orange County the sushi dinner at real housewives of Orange County Shut the fuck up. How dare you young lady. We are at a dinner table.

Never in my life at dinner. I am at some one. Yeah, like no. I am putting this show. I think we also forgot to mention, as we have a right in candidate, also under the Orange County umbrella, which at this point Orange County deserves its own special category for best Orange County

fight, but the bus ride in Ireland. That's basically it. Continuous, sir. Of the fight in torrentous kitchen on real housewives of New York City. Um, I'm definitely Bethany versus John and real housewives of New York City. You did some coke. You did some coke. Huh, John? Huh? Chris is done. And real housewives of New York City. You did some coke?

You did some coke, huh, John? How many rails you do, John? Huh? You do some coke? You do some coke, huh? Well, I heard you stole a skinny cow. Like, literally, I don't even know what cow is. I don't know what a cow is. It's an animal.

I don't understand. If you're talking to me about cows anymore, my walls would be up. I can't. I can't. You stole the cow that invented skinny pop. That's it. I'm the clip ended.

The clip ended. I was a moving clip. So we had to like, we gain our composure. The clip we just showed you of Ray and Durinda versus Durinda and John, Real Housewives in New York City, Dry Cleaning Party. Your trash, will be sooo... Hey, don't get that washing, Queens.

I'm going home. Uh, Captain versus Landon on Southern Charm. You're a bitch. You're a bitch. You're a bitch. You know, Thomas doesn't even like you okay think you're batten steep it You're a fan's stupid so like whatever Oh

Just a little bonus a little just setting the just coloring in some layers there ever Everyone versus pediflora on Melbourne every episode of real house last November in this season Even the baby grand piano was against pediflora on Melbourne and she was actually purchasing that pedifluor on Melbourne and she was actually purchasing that. Oh my goodness. Why do you talk to me like this? Everybody is bullying me all the time. Shut the fuck up! Hey, listen here, they have pediflu.

No one wants listening immature shit. So clean your shit up, shove it up your ass, and pluck out the ass a that made your audience Yeah, oh pet of lord get fucked Get fucked When even Cheaker could join in on the bully. You know that that girl's a horror show Okay, next up is the C word fight on the tour bus on tour group

That one we don't really have a clip for that one, but we have an explanation Which is that this really sweet lovely tour guide from this show that no one watched He made a joke using the seaworth and then Michelle who is waiting all dare you Sir, I am a man You sir I am a woman It's truly the best part of that entire show with that fight and then we have to be real like it's not gonna get better There's one right in another right in candidate Karen Huber versus Jacelle, fighting about

etiquette, specifically the etiquette of allowing the birthday girl to sit in the middle of an arrangement of people on her birthday party. It's some rundown Asbar. Here's a picture of raining with rules of etiquette. Printed out for my home printer that's probably still running under my wall line telephone. And framed crookedly in a Ross $5 dress for less picture frame. Now learn your manners, bitch. And finally, Leanne Locken, your cheer the world is over. I'm leaving. And then she got in the fight, the world is over. I'm leaving.

And then she got in a fight with the trolley. Oh, yeah. That was when Leanne took her frustration out on public transportation, hit a trolley, and then once the trolley cleared, kept stomping off towards the other side of the street, which housed a large trash bin. Great. Now you're walking towards the trash. You need to plan these walkoffs better, darling.

Yeah, wow. OK, use the winner, Ben. I can't wait. This is one of the top categories. See? See? The winner. The winner. Done to done. Chabby D. World is over.

Chabby D. World is over. Chabby, what's up? Chabby, it's done. Charity world is over. Charity world is over. Charity world is over. And the winner of best fight of the year. This may be slightly shocking, but the best fight of the year is the flick heard around the world, real housewives of Orange County. Oh my God, what a nose flick. Why nose flick? It was tough. It looked like it was going to be Durinda's kitchen in the Berkshires. However, you know what, that was already recognized as the best vacation, and the kitchen fight was really part of a greater whole. Whereas the fight in Ireland had to be

recognized because it stemmed from something... probably the stupidest... stupidest stupidest stupidest... Stupidest, stupidest, stupidest, stupidest. The stupidest word am I just being ironic right now. Stupidest is the word. It's the only word. It's the most stupider thing that ever happened. The fact that there was such a huge blowout that stemmed from a nose flick is just has to be recognized. We've never had a stupid, stupid joke with a nose flick is just has to be recognized. We've never had a stupid, stupid joke with a nose flick

and we've had a few nose flicks this season this year. We had John. Also this fight ended with Heather getting kicked out of the shitter, like Heather was pooping and they kicked her out. And on top, not only that, it escalated to a point where they were fighting inside a department store and Tamra wound up in the back of a bus hyperventilating, staring into space with the

shadow of the door, trying to calm her. It went from the stupidest place to the most amazingly over the top place so quickly that it just has to be recognized. Just breathe different, just breathe different, breathe differently. Okay, breathe differently now. Shannon trying to say for it. So good. Yeah, that was just it was too great, too great.

So now we're nearing the end of the show and it's time to move on to our biggest awards of the night darling. Darling. All right. The best. Oh, wait, I read this category for you. OK. I was going to go into the best transition.

Goes to Ben and Ronnie for right now. For right now. The next category is biggest disaster biggest disaster And the nominees come on bean and please feel free to provide any right in nominees if necessary The nominees are Trevor from below deck the senior deck hand. I'm a hair model. So maybe you should get your tattoo reshaded because that looks like it's from the 90s. Catherine Dennis from below deck a perennial favorite. I just happened to be in the neighbor.

Kelly Dodd real housewives of Orange County. You are. Gigi, Shaza Sunset. Okay, I just stabbed a tree with a steady. Okay, good. I felt the tree call out somewhere a copy of the giving tree is crying. A previous winner from earlier tonight, Leanne from Real House, was a Dallas. She said I threatened to kill her. You literally threatened to kill me. I didn't mean it like that. And Danny from below deck Mediterranean.

Who's that? I don't remember him. He was the guy who kept on falling in love with people coming on the yacht. Oh yeah. He like a little horny one. Yeah, he was a disaster. He was a disaster. That's why he was a disaster. Yeah, he was.

Yeah. OK. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, the winner of biggest disaster is this is a shocker because there are some huge disasters yes but the best disaster the best biggest disaster is Catherine daddy's yes, oh, look at your lukewarm ass applause audience. Thank you. This award is sponsored by Amazon Prime. Katherine really admitted the season basically on camera that she uses her children to fight with Thomas like she uses them in fights. Thomas tricked her into taking a drug test. So she lost custody. She got fired from the show. She made a damn ass out of herself, could've lost her kids, got her kid a Plexiglass see-through crib and

ordered about 9,000 things from Amazon Prime and also scored herself a house, a nanny, and a new car. She got fired and then rehired. I mean this girl you want to talk about going from nothing and I mean I know her family has a name or whatever, but the amount of growth that we've seen this woman not do in this Like the disaster has just grown and it's been amazing to watch darling Yeah, she is Unparalleled in her disasterness although Kelly Dodd once again a very strong runner up that that's perhapsd, once again, a very strong runner up. That's perhaps the story of her life, a very strong runner up. Yeah, Kelly Dodd really had a chance to win this, but Catherine Dennis' craziness is just

better seasoned, you know? And it has an aim. Kelly doesn't really know why she's yelling. She's just a five year old. Where is Catherine is like, you think you're gonna trick me? And then she gets a house and Annie, a car, babies, everything she ever wanted, drugs, decent coke. I mean, everything she really ever wanted,

plus another season. Gotta have the tour. You've got to hand it to her. Gotta hand it to her. Yeah. All right. Now the next award is the best. Oh, God, we've got a few left.

Sorry, I was going to say best show, but that would be last. So we still have one, two, three, four more categories before we get to the best show. OK, the best Bravo Star! Whoa! Alright. They are Countess Luan! Can you believe it, girls?

Can you believe it? A sickie flicker! I was raised in a basement! This is a shame that I am the only one of my sisters of Real Housewives New Jersey, who's nominated, however, I take it very seriously and I thank you greatly for the award. Lawler Kent from Vanderpump Rules. I need my mama. Katherine Dennis from Southern John.

Come here. Ramona Singer. Ramona Singer from Real house was in New York City. Well, this crazy the helicopter has not been back, but I'm still on the roof waiting to see any other future helicopters. This will be on my second spin off called Ramona talking to guys on the helicopters. You can check it out on my Snapchat, which I will accidentally have drawn all over my face on and I don't know why, okay? The rinder medley of real housewives of New York City. I'm a-ing yay! Caroline Fleming of Ladies of London.

Caroline Fleming of Ladies of London. How lucky are you to have me nominated with you. Captain Lee from Below Deck. God damn Santa my Windows. How about you pay a goddamn bit of attention before I drag my dick through dinosaur bones and put it through a cheese grater into a blender and make toast out of it. Listen, you're here to work on a goddamn yacht.

Not to hand out awards as some goddamn people on the internet, okay? So how about you get on to the bow, you clean up the thing, get the anchor out and stop being like a total jackass total disaster to God damn. Link is your deck crew. Leanne Lockett from Real Housewives of Dallas Mimicor I like it you just made a noise you're How about me Mimicor I've done all the lines that I remember of hers. Yeah, it's just the general feeling of Candy Burris of Real Housewives of Atlanta

Oh Can be birth of real housewives of Atlanta crap is I You could be a star for a crappy in your life And Kelly Dund of real housewives of Orange County Nice trip see in the fall. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Whoever doesn't vote for me for this award is a cunt. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.

The sensors are awake. No, no, it's too late. I don't have any regrets. No, not after seeing how they voted for me. I don't care Okay, Ben. Here's the winner and the winner of best Bravo star Notable absences Lisa Vanderpump for everyone who thinks that Lisa Vanderpump for Upper S Guess what she was not even nominated this year the best Bravo star of 2016 for their Golden Crapie is... Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun

I mean, no brainer here, count us the WAM. Here is a woman who just like Madonna continues to change her image, going from imperial countess from a with a wasp estate in Long Island to sex craze pirate bang and lady about town and now to kind of deluded strange person who we love nonetheless. Here is a woman who looked like she wasn't even gonna be on this season and wound up being at the very center of it. She is someone who walked into the lion's den with Bethany. Bethany came for her and Luanne somehow never fell back and stood her ground and she emerged kind of

victorious after the Berkshire's, although it's sort of hard stood her ground and she emerged kind of victorious after the Berkshire's, although it's sort of hard to tell, and she got into what looks pretty much like a sham marriage and yet somehow we're all still rooting for her. She is just wonderful. She is on a different plane. She is iconic. She is the Countess and no one can touch her. Yes, we would have had an award for her, but she's already won an aged slutty bald guy and a really heavy Cubic Sir Coney you're bringing. So congratulations, enjoy the spoils. Would you believe it?

I want to cry out to you. And now the award for Worst Bravo Show. I'll read the nominees. No, this is no. This category is just called The Worst, which is different from The Worst Show. Oh, OK. OK.

The Worst. The Worst. There are three more. And then we get to best show. So the nominee is for the worst. Okay. Megan King Edmonds, Real House of Orange County. Oh. Shreece, Real House of Potomac.

Yes. Jacqueline Lareda, Real House of New Jersey. Oh. Katie, Vanderpump Rules. I'm a model. Brian, Katie Vanderpump rules. I'm a model. Brian below deck med. Just let me stick my thumb up your butt. Apollo, newlyweds the first year.

Huh? God, I don't even remember that much about him. You are lucky. You are very lucky. And Petty Flur from Real Housewives of Melbourne. How could you do this to me, to your mother who loves you, to want to go on a date with me? But I'm used to it. It's okay. I'm used to being called the worst because that's what people think of me. They only think that of me because they know I am the best, which makes me sad for them. But happy for me because I'm wonderful

Burkin back So will you do the honors of telling the audience who is The worst of 2016 Dun dun dun dun dun dun Dun dun dun dun dun Oh My goodness wow that was a big rip The winner this year is really a huge upset because there's a lot of the worst.

I mean, Jacqueline could have walked with this one. Yeah. But the worst was actually Sherries from Real Housewives of Patelman. Ah! Ah! I thought Katie might actually sneak in a secret win there. Well, I think what the voting committee was thinking is,

Jacqueline has had a lot of practice. She came back being the worst on purpose because the business needs to pay her mortgage or she's gonna lose that house. Katie, she knows what she's doing by now. She's just embraced the awful and the iceberg lettuce and bottles of ranch. But the real heroism comes from someone like Cherisse,

who is in a town which is not really known for its reality shows. It's not like she's some reality store, or reality show ho, who's just trying to go around and get on shows. She really thought she was the hero of the season in her mind, but she's just so goddamn awful. Naturally, she didn't even have to try. She thought she was the hero of the show and she was the biggest asshole

Probably of the whole year. I mean that girl is an ass. Yes. Congratulations girl. Congratulations Well, we now have in a similar category the biggest sleaze Do you want to read? Dun dun dun dun dun dun. We've got John dry cleaner guy from Real Housewives of New York City. Tom DeGastino, real housewives of New York. So running theme with the New York City man, isn't there? Yeah, those guys are not nice. DJ James Kennedy, Vanderprung rules. Now listen here slut, if you've left your keys for the Toyota to sell,

I've got them at the front. I've got them at the front. Brian from below deck made. Can I stick my thumb up your butt? I'll remember. Apollo from newlyweds the first year. They got into they got into they're both nominated both of them are dual nominees for the worst and biggest leaves. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Apollo. I didn't grab his ass. Call me, won't you, buddy? Alrighty and The winner of Biggest Sleeze is Jesus yeah, well you had a big rip also, okay? The biggest sleaze is... Brian from Below Deck Mediterranean. Brian was sleazy for a number of reasons, one of which or primarily the way he got drunk

and then tried to like basically date rape, Tiffany and with all sorts of really offensive things like stiggin' the mopper ass, etc. and then basically slut shaming her afterwards. And the thing was it was a pattern of behavior. He talked down to him in the entire season and I think what makes him more of a sleaze than any of these other sleaze balls because they all are sleaze balls is that he was in a position of authority

and that gives him an extra layer of sleaziness. So congratulations, Brian. Congratulations, buddy. You win highlights. Oh, you already have them. Okay, then you leave win highlights. Oh, you already have them. Okay, then you leave empty handed. Oh, and also I'd like to point out that this is the second year in a row

that we've had a man trying to stick a thumb up somebody's butt. Last year it was on secrets and wives. What, Michael? In a bouncy house. There you go. Thanks, Bravo. That's a story line we can keep alive.

It always happens in the most luxurious of local house. Yots. Okay. What is the next category? Ben. The next category, there's the penultimate category. It is the worst show of the year on Bravo. The 2016 Golden Crapie for worst show and the nominees are Recipe no, I'm I'm in the nominees. Okay, recipe for deception Now is this a fish a chicken or a squid? No, it was that that was the show where someone was like, I wasn't even that someone was a Chef. Oh, yeah, I'm thinking of the Alton Brown one where like one person is not a real chef, but the recipe for deception One was so convoluted that it didn't really even make sense. It was something that had to hide each other that to rely about like what was in their dishes.

Or something like that. It was just a mess. The entire concept was so convoluted that it makes sense that we can't even properly recall what it was. We just know it was terrible. It made Chopped look like Omidias, okay? It made it.

Chopped look like the classiest, most expensive show ever. Yes. The next nominee is there goes the motherhood. Ooh, how dare you nominate this show. How dare you make those people? How dare you make me watch that show? How dare you? You were so mad.

You know, we've watched a lot of crap over the years. And that was when you were just like, nope. No, no was the one where you were just like, nope. No, no. The one where I was really like, nope, was Mother Funders, but that was last year. Oh, God, yeah, that's true. Yeah, that was, yeah, this was your, this was, this was, this one's the award for being Ben's Mother Funders of the Year. Yeah.

But then turn about his fair play because our next nominee is Tor Group, which is just a show that I actually liked, but you detested. Yeah, I was just, you know what, the idea was really good, the people were just a waste of humanity. I was like, God, what do you just not paying attention anymore? Well, Michelle, the Brandy Glandville, like, want to be a friend slash model, whatever it was, she was hilarious.

She was reality TV gold, but she got stuck on a bad show. And next nominee for Worcestho Real House, so I have the New Jersey. I'm pretty favorite in this category. I'm blessed them for trying though. They sure keep coming back for more. I mean, that's been the worst show for what three seasons now? Yeah, although we should make a caveat that this real house as a New Jersey, I believe, does it, I think it actually,

does it consist of real house as a New Jersey to research checks in or is that last year? That was this year. Well, then that is looped in to real house as a New Jersey, which may affect things. And then the next nominee is million dollar listing. All of them. Tiny balding douche bags with really expensive leases.

Like cares. And our final nominee for worst show of the year. Man's owed with children. Have you ever wondered what would happen if Beethoven the dog had a bunch of lazy children who refused to make anything of themselves? Mm hmm. No. Me neither. I'm like, yes. Yes, I have actually wondered that.

Okay, who announces the winner, man? Me? You. Oh my god. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. By the way, tree checks in was in 2015. So just now, just no, yeah, time flies. So you just not taking that one out of there. It does. That could affect things. OK. OK, the winner of the worst show on Bravo,

and this is hands down. I didn't even need a long rip recipe for deception. I mean I feel bad I feel bad that that one because I actually feel like Manzled with children is trying really hard to win this one every year They just keep coming back and they are just more and more detestable But man recipe for deception you can't even get me to sit there and watch food. Yeah, the problem with recipe for deception is that it should be better. It's by the

team that brought us Top Chef. But it's not better. It's terrible. It's terrible. And on top of that, it makes no sense. At least all these other shows, they can be crappy, they can be boring, but there's narrative logic. But- Well, the first time they ripped off top, I mean, the first time they ripped off Project Runway, which was a quality show, this time they ripped off really terrible shows on the food network. I mean, if all you're going to do is rip shit off, guys, pick good things. Yeah, that's all pick the things picked it Thanks time. Yeah, okay, Ben. What's the oh, I'm the next category right here. Yeah, you read the nominees for the next one This is oh, it's rondle of the year goes to Ronnie rondle Ron Ronstur or really

But you know what they're Ronnie because this is our final category best show I think it's a great opportunity for us to once again read the winning read the The winner winner from both the foreign press and the domestic press so we can both chime in with this one Okay, I assume that I'm Middle Eastern so I'm in charge of the foreign. Well, you were foreign press last time. So therefore I will be domestic press. And you can press. But you can still be the Lebanese and from El Paso.

So I'm like, mexanese. So I will take. So you still read, you still get to read the nominees though. Okay, the nominees for their best show of 2016. One brother. Ah, the Real Housewives of New York City. The Real Housewives of Orange County. Vanderpump Rules. Ladies of London.

Or as we call it, the Lads of Luns. Hello, Dick. Southern shum. Or the real Hiswives of Bribaws of terrible knit, sunsets. That's so Persian, like white people be like, hey, let's go like look at buildings in Charleston and try to sell them to people but like not sell them at all and not renovate them and then Persians are like, let's eat food. I feel like white people, white people are like, look, here's a golden statue award!

Persian people are like, here's a big bowl of yellow rice! You know what? I hope you all, everyone in the audience is happy that you've just received a bouquet. Oh and look, it's from us at Shaz of Sunsetsang, thanks for not nominating us for a show of the year! Thanks a lot for being the worst friend of every noon. Love GT! Okay, okay, Raza, what does the domestic press say is the best award? Or would you prefer that the foreign goes first? No, we'll read domestic because I have the envelope right here. That's so Persian I never thought I'd come to this country and read on behalf of Domestic Press! And the winner of Best Show, according to the Domestic Press, goes to Real Housewives of New York City!

Yay! Okay audience settle down. We still have to hear what the foreign press says. What is the foreign? They really did have a classic season. I mean, it was hilarious the whole way through. Congratulations New York City. Yeah, well, now do you you now do you does the farm press corroborate or was there a dissenting opinion? Um, there's a dissenting opinion Which is so white people it's so like white people who live in Europe to never agree on anything You know, and now it's tough before you read the dissenting opinion. It's gonna be tough because I have to say So New York City to me this was just an amazing season. I think just even having the Berkshire's episode, made it an instant classic season and everything with Tom and

everything with Miami and the fact that it became like a joke on the internet of like, tell me this isn't about Tom, it's about Tom. I mean, it was such an amazing season. However, I know I'm gonna try to guess what the foreign press is saying. I think it comes down. I would imagine it's between two others. Real Housewives of Orange County had an excellent season just because it was such a disaster. With Dune Buggy turning over in Ireland and Kelly Dodd, but then Southern Charm really strong season two and I feel like it's gonna be between the two of those. So please. Farn press. Oh my gosh, the Hollywood for Impressed is changing their votes so they can disagree with

Ben. What? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D Did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it turning point in a way for the real housewives because Vicki is the cockroach that can ever die. I mean, really Vicki should have been fired here. So for all the shit she's bold, like she's pulled some loose shit and she still want to be our favorite. We were like still like the crazy bitch. She got a new kitchen finally. Also, Tamra's, you know, Tamra stuck with her Christianity for more than a season, which I think was more than Satan gave her credit for. I didn't think that was coming.

Yeah. Shannon became a full-fledged villain this year, which was lovely to see. Like she tried pulling all the strings, got caught every single time. Yes. And people are tarneth feathering her on the internet. And the introduction of Kelly and even Megan finally, you know, getting pregnant from sperm in a trash can of the back seat. I mean, even Megan who had not a good season had a great season in the end, you know, I mean, what a show. It's everything we love. Yeah, I have to say, I mean, it's kind of a

draw between those two two shows because they brought their A game every episode. There was something else to talk about. I mean, for me, New York just edged out barely just because there were a few more iconic episodes, Berkshires and Miami and then also the Rey episode. By the way, the Rey episode was the same episode that Bethany tore apart Sonia and then he had Rey. So because New York had a few of those like instant classic episodes, a few more of them, I give it the edge, but I think Orange County, especially with Ireland, Ireland was such a fantastic trip to me was almost up there with scary Ireland. I think Orange County was just absolutely fantastic. shows and that brings us to the end of the crappies. And of the crappies and of the crappies crappies crappies crappies crappies crappies. That was our like show ending. Um, sorry.

Oh, and here to, and here to end the show is a musical number by Erica Jane. Peanut butter jelly is something I don't eat but when I do I don't give a fuck because I can eat what I want Because I pat the jelly on the purse and by purse I mean the bread pat the jelly on the purse and by purse I mean the bread bread bread buddy It's not the blood way Brad, buddy, buddy. Huh. If- if I fall on way... If I fall on way... If I fall on way...

Just like whatever random shit I was about to do. Out the facade, Dina. Out the facade, Dina. I got- of the freeway. Out the facade, Dina. How many freeways did I take? None. How many freeways did I take? None. How many freeways did I take? None. How many freeways did I take?

None. I got a private plane. I got a private plane. And I don't care what fuck. Abounce for body. Abounce for body. I almost shook that breakfast. There were abounce for body.

Studio 54. Studio 54. Four times five is 20 plus 20 plus four plus 10 is 54. Guys, speaking of numbers, this is not only our fifth crappies, it is also the end of our fifth year together here. Wow. We're happy in this guys. Wow.

And it's the end of our year for everybody in 2016. Yeah. 2016. You've had some good moments. You've had some really bad ones, but you've had lots of fun ones. Really, really funny moments. 2016. Thank you, Bravo, for getting us through this challenging year. And thank you, everyone. Everyone, kids, you can go to sleep now. Good night everyone. Hello everyone. Hi, how are you? Hello. Hey, Prime members.

You can listen to Watch Your Crappens, Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to add free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.