Watch What Crappens - #36: The Whole Gang is Back Pt. 2

Episode Date: September 21, 2012

The Whole Gang is Back Pt. 2See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Today's show is brought to you by Audible. Please visit audiblepodcast.com forward slash bravo for your free audiobook download. Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crappens, our special two-parter of two. Today we're going to be discussing The Real Housewives of Miami premiere,

the reboot, and Gallery Girls. And we've also got some good Gallery Girls gossip that we'd like to share with you. My name is Ronnie Caron. I'm from tvgasm.com. You can find me on Twitter at tvgasm. I'm here with at Life on the M-List, Mr. Matt Whitfield from Yahoo TV.

Yay! Hi, Matt. I miss taping in your house, Ronnie. We had fun last week. Oh my god. Me too. But now I'm cheating on you because Ben's back and I'm in his house. I'm a whore. Going house to house. And we're also here with Mr. Ben Mandelker in the new

Jewish year. Yes, it is. 57-something-another. I am on Twitter at bsideblog. You can find all of us together at whatcrappens and on Facebook at facebook.com forward slash watchwhatcrappens. I actually went on

there today kind of bored and depressed and needing validation. So many people have been writing on our Facebook. You guys have to look at them because you guys are really effing hilarious. So thanks for talking to us on there. And also thanks for all the iTunes reviews and all of the iTunes comments and love.

That is so awesome to hear. So thanks, you guys. I mean, it really, this is going to sound really sad, but nothing makes me happier in the world. I'm like Seth Field in Soap Dish where she goes to that mulling jersey just so that people will recognize

her. Are you Celeste Townsend? Are you Celeste Townsend? I wouldn't touch me to that. This just got so fucking gay. I love Soap Dish. I love it too. I swear I could probably pull it out of somewhere around here.

Yeah. I'm right with you. I can't speak anymore. You're starting to sound like Elsa. Marisol, where is Napoleon? I need a chair. Marisol, I'm going to fall over. We started there naturally, so let's talk about Real Housewives of Miami,

the reboot. They have changed it. They've added about 20 women. I know. It's the biggest cast in history. I do have to ask you guys this before we dive in. Did they need to reboot Miami? The first season was a little bit of a mess.

It only had about five or six episodes, and it also had shittier ratings than the Real Housewives of D.C. Tell me why it's back, why you think it's back, and if you're happy, and if so, why. May I answer that, please? Yes. Your hand is raised. My hand is so raised.

I'm going to call on Ben. My hand is not only raised. I am internally doing like a Chiquita Banana dance in honor of our Miami ladies. Or a Gloria Estefan dance. The rhythm got me. What can i say but so here's the thing they needed to reboot this because miami is first of all a big city and full of gaudiness full of gaudiness but it's also it's the they don't have anything for latinas

and each one of these housewives uh franchises sort of covers a stereotype they need the latinas and you know they they just didn't do it right the first time as we all know we've talked about how it was previously a different show re-edited together for the premiere i definitely felt like it was in the right place it went they that the tone was where it should be which was that uh there was more of an emphasis on the sexy miami feel to it um sort of glamorous, catty women who have these weird, intricate relationships with each other. They were hitting you. You could tell there was more tension right away.

There was a lot of tension from the get-go. Normally with these reboots or even with a new season with returning cast members, it sometimes takes a few episodes before we really get ramped up, but these women are raring to go. They're ready. They are. And you really feel like, this feels more like Miami. Last time it felt sort of like this flaccid group of women, and this time it's like this long hair, the long dresses, the big boobs, the accents.

It's more Latino also this time. They also know that they are now officially members of the Real Housewives franchise. Like you mentioned, when they were first taping, it was some sort of Miami social, but not Miami social. And it just didn't come together properly. Now they know. It's called Miami Dinner Club or something. Yeah. They're all about cooked food or some shit.

But when you see somebody like a Bethany Frankel go from hawking Pepperidge Farm cookies on the side of the road to the leader of Skinny Girl, and you see all these other women selling their products, selling their wares, and becoming magazine cover staples, you're going to fucking bring it. So, Ronnie, are you on the same page as Ben? Do you think that they should have brought it back in the first place? I am a hater on the show, and I don't think they should have. I recapped season one at TVgasm and I you know when you recap a show especially at TVgasm because there we will write a 10 page recap so

you talk about every single thing that happens and you joke about every single thing that happens so no matter what the show is if I recap an entire season of it I pretty much love it by the end and plus when I was doing that I was also doing with you, we were doing Ben's last

podcast, Ask Wife Hoedown, and we were talking about it all the time. I had so much Real Housewives of Miami in my blood that I loved it. I loved it because the women were so funny. I come from a border town, so I'm used to my Latinas and I love some Latinas.

Are you secretly a Latina um secretly yes you have not made me mad yet but i'm not the kind of person who will get mad and talk behind your back i'm the kind of person who will put sugar in your gas tank i'll steal your cat and mail it somewhere oh like i own a cat gross your. Your windshields. I'll find someone with herpes and rub your toothbrush on it. Like, I'm a very vindictive Latina inside, yes. So I do like it, and I'm so glad to see them back. And also this year, they got rid of a bunch of the lameness, and they added young bitches. Because what they learned this year from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was you add a young bitch on there and everyone's going to get pissed off. I do think that that's a really, really smart move on their part.

I love how they keep playing up the angle of like, hey, we're hot new young bitches and we're taking over from the old guard. I think that that is going to play out throughout the entire season. I mean, the problem is I can tell that there are definitely two younger ones and there's definitely a few older ones. The rest are all somewhere in the middle and I think that they want to pretend they're young but they're not. I just like how every

time the word old is mentioned in any context. Cut to Leah. Cut to Leah. How fun is that? How fun is that? Oh, one thing I used to call Leah in the recap was chicken lady. Kids in the hall, chicken lady. I actually think

it's Kim G after plastic surgery, because she was going to do anything in her power to get on a Housewives franchise. I have to say, seeing Leah back on screen, I was so happy. I didn't even realize how much I missed her until she got back there. I started looking at this house

and I was like, tear it down! Tear it all down! I was like, ugh, I've missed this crazy moment. And I bought the house and everything needs to be fixed! What are you going to do about this? What? Send him an invoice! Where's an invoice? She really

should be the mascot for Chick-fil-A. She does not shut up. She's so pretentious and obnoxious and I love every moment love her she's my favorite why don't we go through all the new ladies because to be honest with you like i can't we need to say all seven of their names because i don't know like i can't keep it straight i don't remember any of their names i think oh wait there's one named karen karen she's the dentist dentist the stars she's the dentist the stars who's screw screwing the telenovela star who's cheating on her with potentially Anna, who is the lawyer slash divorced from the doctor.

Who makes penis jokes in front of his kids. The thing with Karen, what was so funny about her was that, and I know I'm mispronouncing your name, but I'm sorry if there's a T at the end. We're saying it. It's going to affect my pronunciation. Karen. But Karen? I'm going to affect my pronunciation. Carent. But Carent? I'm going to call her Carent. So the thing is with her is even before

it came to light that she was dating a soap star, her whole life looked like a soap opera. She was like this woman in big boobs, tight dress, and she has this ridiculous doctor's, although dentist, jacket on, which is exactly like a telenovela, where you have someone who looks

nothing like a dentist. Right, and then she walks in and she meets her patient, she shows some pictures of her naked on her cell phone, and then she fucks him in the chair to death. And he's like... Cliffhanger! And by the way, the guy in the chair was like a classic telenovela comic relief, you know? This is like the clowns.

He was totally good. Bug eyes, you know? He's like, aye, aye, aye! Aye, aye, aye, mommy! And that was actually the moment when I was like, I think I love this season already. That was like the first vignette. It was the first vignette. Well, just also how the Latinas do it. I mean, living with your mom, you know, she's like, it's very traditional for people to live with their parents until you get married.

Penny, you're like 60 years old. I know, right? Like, we're going to round up. We're not going to round down. You're not going to round down. You're not close to your 20s anymore. Let me ask this, though. I mean, I've never lived with my parents since I left for college. How

do you have sex with your man if your mom's in the other guest room? Is that weird? You just blast the Gloristethon and hope no one hears. Oh, okay. Oh, my God. Well, I think they do hear because they both have that look of i hate you on their faces and i put them on smile and then you've got the boyfriend the telenovela star sitting down there making jokes like sex jokes and dick like how big his balls

are now he's totally cheating on their daughter jokes and they just look like they want to stab him with a knife i love it and dumbass and dumb dumbass Karen doesn't believe that she's actually being cheated on. And I think Karen is the one... I love saying her name. I think Karen is the one who slaps someone in the previews. I think that's her. I can't be sure.

She looks vicious. She looks like a fighter. There was all this ridiculousness about, oh, well, you know, the Colombians are so nice. The Colombians are the nice ones. I've never heard that. Hello. Did anybody see Scarface?

Yeah, I'm like, I think the Colombians, if I may stereotype. Are the violent folk. Yeah, they're the ones who are going to stab you in the eye when you, like, look at their man. All Colombians, including Shakira. And I think that's why she was cast on the show. Oh, my God. Okay, so we have Karent. Karent.

We have Ana, who is the aging doctor with the ex-husband. No, no, she's a lawyer. The lawyer who has the ex-husband that she's still, like, BFF with. I liked her immediately. And she looks a little Gianna. She's kind of the bigger one. She hasn't had a ton of plastic surgery. She looks her age. She looks her age. She has a big, like, lion's kind of the bigger one she hasn't had a ton of plastic so she looks her age she looks her age she has a big like lion's mane of a hairdo she looks like she's

she looks smart there's something about her that seems that reads smart right and it's also something that reads a little chow chow yeah she's got a chow chow chow oh yes i'm like i'm a cat person so i don't know kids who seem to love her i like her has very funny kids who seem to love her. I like her kids. She seems very funny and fun. I think her ex-husband's kind of hot. He looks also younger than her, right? Yeah. If anybody looks like a dentist, it's that guy. Yeah, I know. They're all playing different roles.

Okay, so we have Corrent. We have Anna. She's not going to have any drama at all. But then she's the one who's mystery texting Karence or whatever her name is, her telenovela star. I love that you, like Alex Trebek, whenever a Hispanic Latina slash word comes up on Jeopardy, he automatically gets some fucked up fake accent.

I love that you're going to do that all season long. I feel like we all have to do that with the real houses of Miami. Would you like a tortada? Hi, how are you? I'd like some iced tea and a quesadilla. I have ceviche.

Ceviche makes me crazier than that. Anywho, okay, so we have Corent, we have Anna, we have the return of Marisol. Marisol, by the way, is only there because Elsa is brilliant. Marisol does nothing. Marisol does not need to be on the show. Do we all agree? No, because

you know what? That bitch must be crazy. She's three husbands. I mean, she's just lost her third husband. How old is she? And she's starting to look like her mom, which is not a good thing. Oh, I know. Yeah, there's gotta be something going on there that we haven't seen yet, And she's starting to look like her mom, which is not a good thing. Oh, I know. Yeah, there's gotta be something going on there that we haven't seen yet, and she's gonna get broken down this year because she's gonna be

fighting with Leah, and nobody goes up against Leah. Yeah. So it's gonna crack. Okay, so speaking of Leah, Leah will be number four in this list. I'm trying to get through these seven because I'm getting totally lost. Leah is secretly my favorite. She's great. Honestly, with Leah and Marisol.

Elsa. They, honestly, that's all you need. And they're pals, and I love it. They're fantastic. Well, if Mama Elsa wasn't enough of a breakout star, they brought a new breakout star, which is Mama Elsa's maid. Oh, my God.

They need to have their own show. I want Mama Elsa's maid to serenade her into a drunken, stupor-snoring fat nap every week. Oh my god, and make sure the Zen garden is there too for Elsa to like... Okay, seriously, for Christmas this year, I just want shells and sand and a big die, like a big, just some dice in a big bowl and I want to rub it on my body. And I want Elsa to cry at least once per episode because when she wails, she's the most hilarious wailer of all time.

She's like, hey Marisol, Napoleon is missing! For those of you who did not see it, it starts with Marisol going over to Mama Elsa's house and she's telling us how sad she is that she's probably breaking up with her husband and the mom's like, good, I'm glad good, I'm glad it didn't work out.

Do something else. Get a hobby. And then Marisol starts crying and runs to the bathroom. And Mama Elsa makes it all about her. And enter Mama Elsa's maid, who is like, calm down, honey. I totally forgot about that. It was genius. That was great.

To calm Elsa down, and then Elsa goes over to her spirit rocks and starts rubbing sand all over her. Oh, my God. Maybe it'll be life-changing. I mean, Ronnie, we might as well try it, right? What, the rubbing the maid? I would have a maid who sings. Okay, you can be serenaded and I will exfoliate. So...

Okay, we've only discussed four of them. There are three others. The only other one I remember is Joanna Krupa. Right, who is the most famous, arguably the most famous cast member. Watch the hothead, girl. She... Step down. She's fighting for the cover of the thrifty nickel what the hell is she

taking photoshop i love that people think that miami drive is like a legit magazine let me tell you right now ocean drive that shit is like a free fucking rag that you get out of like a newsstand like on the corner for seriously i think it is free i'm not even kidding you i remember this shit was like trying to be popular when the real world went to Miami in season 5 and it was like Flora's like I'm gonna model. And it's like this magazine is garbage. Yeah, you know

Joanna Krupa, honestly you know, there was a part of me that was sort of hoping to see this nice side of her, but she just really sort of confirms every stereotype you have about models which is that they are self-involved bitches. Yeah. And they're mean to... And they're hideous people. And they're mean to everybody in their life, and they are

ungrateful whores. And they get attached to asshole guys who drive around stupid cars and make fun of their sisters. I will say, however, that she is fucking gorgeous. And make fun of their sisters. Don't you think she's hot? She is hot, but let's not get so...

With her hair up, she looks like an ET. I don't like that. She's a little Reese Witherspoon-y, which is me... Reese Witherspoon isn't ugly, but she's sort of like normal looking.

And my feeling with Joanna Krupa is that... How dare you, sir? How dare you? Well, you know, Reese Witherspoon's whole thing is not that she's a hottie, it's that she's the girl next door.

She's the country southern belle, but Joanna Krupa is like the Euro-Polish hot version. Oh my god, you have a baby! In a bar! Okay, Ronnie, Sweet Home Alabama references, really? I would prefer an election reference. I know, give us some Tracy, what's her name? Tracy Flick. But here's the thing, though. Joanna Krupa, she is obviously a famous model.

She was on Dancing with the Stars and a lot of other stuff. But she's really not a supermodel on the level of other supermodels. She's just a famous model. I would call her a famous model. I would not call her a supermodel. And she's acting, honestly. I would call her a dumb, lollipop-headed bitch who's pretty for five years. I'm going to quote Carol.

I'm going to quote Carol. Tell us how you really feel. Well, I mean, come on. We see these girls all the time in L.A. They're like, oh my God, I've got five more years of being pretty. I'm going to fuck the ugliest, richest guy I can fuck and be mean to everybody. And then when I'm old, I'm going to suddenly be nice and wondering why people aren't taking me to dinner parties and offering to walk my dog for free. Her boyfriend may be a drunk, bloated asshole,

but I think he is hot. Really? You know, I can see him. He's, like, attractive-ish, but he probably looked hotter ten years ago. Yeah, I mean, he's handsome and a leathery, you-need-to-do-one-more-button-on-your-shirt kind of way. That guy looks like youth came to his birthday party

and just punched him in the face, like, 50 times. Maybe that's my type. He seems so sketchy. He seems so and beyond sketchy the amount of cocaine that's probably coursing raging through his system getting a guy in his 50s who has leather skin in his 50s he's probably 33 and just rode hard but let's let's get to the point if you're dating an older guy that's partying until six in the morning and owns a club, that's just not good. It's never going to be okay. We never want to deal with a club owner, by the way. We're all convinced, right, that he's clearly fucking her sister, aren't we?

Because they have that really rocky relationship. He's clearly doing her. He's probably fucking a lot of people. Including Marta. Or Jawan. Krupa is just too hard and expecting her sister to be supported, too. It's like, you know, he's fucking you, and he kind of has to support you. That does not include your entire family, honey.

Get a job, okay? See, here's the problem. Joanna Krupa is allegedly this—well, not allegedly. She is a legitimate model. But, you know, her dating this guy is like the same thing as if you told me that Nicole Kidman started dating the situation. It just does not work. And it brings down her brand as a model, I think. And, you know, her dating this guy is like the same thing as if you told me that Nicole Kidman started dating the situation. It just does not work. And it brings down her brand as a model, I think. It does.

And I'm very concerned about the Joanna Krupa brand. Well, and also appearing on a reality TV show. Isn't that kind of like she's throwing in the towel? She's like, well, fuck it. I can't book Maxim anymore. I can maybe only get Ocean Drive. I might as well join the Real Housewives of Miami. You know who they should bring back for this show? They should bring back

that woman who ran the agency on 8th and Ocean. Remember that brilliant show from NBC? Loved. What was her name? Lisa or Marie? It was Marie something. She should be on this show. Ronnie. Validate us.

I didn't watch that show and it's actually making me feel so much smarter than you guys and i'm actually just sitting back it was a brilliant it was such a good show it was i loved it i think that models in general you know you can make a lot of money when you're a supermodel um which she's not but you can make some money but it's kind of like actor money it's like you know if you're a c-level actor you've done some stuff and you get paid really well for that day of work, but it's only a day of work. And that money is not going to last you forever, and you've got to use that. You better get a deal for it. Right. You better go get your condo in Valley Village and just, you know, shop at Ralph's with a coupon. You better hope Sofia Vergara dies and stops taking all the goddamn spokesperson jobs

and get a commercial that runs for a couple of years or something like that. But Joanna Krupa has not done that, and unfortunately she's writing a dirty-ass club owner dick to get it. I don't feel sorry for her. I think she's mean to old people. I don't like her.

Her career beyond modeling is this. Eight years ago, she was in one of those weird shows where it was her and Terrell Owens and celebrities and athletes competing on an obstacle course. I saw that. A la Sandblast on MTV, but not quite that. Yeah. Then she was on Dancing with the Stars and was eliminated first or second or something like that.

Yeah, she did not go far. And now she's here. The point is this. I truly believe that if she had a larger brain in her beautiful head, that she would have a little bit more of an empire going on by now. Right. I mean, how many reality shows do you need to be on before you can get a product in the marketplace? I love how we sit here talking about this woman who's actually very successful,

and we're bashing her for not being more successful while we're sitting here late at night podcasting this is a wonderful thing about being a hypocrite you can throw stones like that it's like i'm almost 40 years old you know what i do all day nothing like sit around eating i've gained 60 pounds in like three months i've watched fucking i was watching buffy the vampire slayer on netflix last night like all night till seven in the morning, you guys. And I'm bitching. That bitch gets out of bed.

Okay, you need an intervention. Are you crying for help right now? I don't know what's going on. When Buffy DVDs get dusted off, that is always a cry for help. I never watched it the first time. I've been in the house, housebound. I'm like one of those guys that's going to have to be cut out of their trailer. I've been in the house, watching movies,

and then I realized I wasn't even depressed. I thought it was massive depression, but then I realized I'm not depressed. I'm actually living my dream, and my dream is to sit around doing fucking nothing, eating all day, and watching Netflix. I'm actually happy. You're like the anti-Joanna Krupa. You're the opposite of the spectrum. I've achieved my goals, so I can make fun of that bitch. Okay?

Good for you. Okay, Joanna Krupa was five on the list. There are two other cast members, and I don't know who they are, except one has big tits and is married

to a plastic surgeon. Okay, so that woman, I don't remember her name, but we can talk about her next. Looks like a blow-up doll. She looks like a blow-up doll. She's one of the young ones, and when I say young ones,

I am flashing air quotes. She, so her big thing is she's like, um, my husband, he saw my ass first. He saw my ass, he fell in love with my ass first, and then he saw my thing is she's like, um, my husband, he saw my ass first. He saw my ass, he fell in love with my ass first, and then he saw my face. He's like, oh good, I'm so glad your face matches the ass.

And I'm just thinking, so does your face look like an ass? Is that what it looked like before? Well, I also think that she looks like a baby mama Elsa. She is not pretty in that face. She is hideous. Her ass looks like an ass that's pressed up against a window. And how about her housekeeper slash soon-to-be pastor who wants to get fake boobs and liposuction? Whose main goal is to hide all of her shopping excursion purchases.

She could be the heir apparent to Jesus Juggs. Stop bringing up Alexis. It's going to make me cry. We're going to get sued. We're going to get sued. That's true. We're going to get sued. We're going to get sued. That's true. We're going to get sued for mentioning Jesus Juggs. Okay, you guys.

That's six of the cast members. Who the fuck is the seventh person? Oh, what's her face? Adriana. Adriana. Oh, I actually like her. I love her. Alexia is back too, right?

No, no, no. She's not an official cast member. Yeah, she's just a friend of the housewives. Because, it's actually sad because her... 15-year-old son was in a terrible, terrible car accident. Luckily, he survived. Frankie. Frankie. And I believe that she

got demoted because she couldn't do too much filming because she really was nursing him back to health. But it's actually alright because, um... She's still in the mix. Well, yeah, she's in the mix. I always liked her, but she wasn't very interesting. She was very nice. She was very Camille. Grammar.

No, not even. Not even. Poor Frankie. She had that quote last season. She runs a magazine. It's called Miami or something. And she's like, we do this as a public service for the

poor people because to look forward to or to look up to. They need people to look up to, and that's what we do. We give them that in the magazine. No irony at all. Love her. Oh, yeah. That was great. I feel bad for her.

Because remember, she has two sons. One is this super hot son playboy who's off banging chicks, doing whatever. And then she had Frankie, the sweet, introspective, little nerdy kid. And he's the one who ended up in this accident. I'm like, I want to know if he's

okay. Isn't that terrible that I was okay when it was the hot one, but now I'm sad because it's the nice one? Yeah, exactly. I mean, the point of these Housewives shows and these franchises are we like to see the rich's the nice one. Yeah, exactly. I mean, the point of these Housewives shows and these franchises are we like to see the rich, beautiful people crumble. Yeah, want to see them all in a car crash.

But also, you know, the hot one, another reason that it would be nice to see him in a car crash is because she was really... Another standout thing about her... We're, like, over here gasping because you're such a bitch. No, I'm sorry. It's been a long day. It's hot and you heard what I just said, right?

So the other good reason it would be good for him to be the one in a car crash is because last season he was out drinking all night. He was drunk drinking all the time. You know, she's like, okay, have fun, honey, but please don't drive drunk again. Maybe call me this time. It's like, bitch, why are you giving your son thousands of dollars to go get wasted every night and drive around and possibly kill someone? So that's the reason. It would have been karma if it was him. But the other one was so nice.

He didn't deserve it. He deserved it. It'll be really interesting. I mean, we need to hear more about this. I think we will see. I'm very curious to know, like, was he in a car accident? Was he hit by a drunk driver? Like, it'll be interesting to see if that plays out. Yeah, I would curious to know was he in a car accident? Was he hit by a drunk driver? It'll be interesting to see if that plays out.

Yeah, I would like to know. He was probably walking in a crosswalk and his drunk-ass brother probably ran him down. By the way, side note, the brother is the sort of physical quality I would expect Joanna Krupa to be banging, not some skeezy-ass club owner.

Well, she follows the cash. You know, we're gay guys. We bang for ass. Women bang for money. At least on this show. Have you met me? I like to bang for both. Yeah.

Really? I've never found both in the same package. Kill two birds with one stone, right? Isn't that the saying? They don't get by on that. They don't get by on working. Can we talk about my other cast member that I enjoy, Adriana? I actually like her.

I think it'll be a big mistake for her to move on to that hideous, run-down fucking shit boat of a yacht. But I actually like her. I like her man. I like their relationship. And she's the only semi-normal one, except for maybe Lana. Well, I don't think she's semi-normal. She's crazy.

And I love how she's on-normal. She's crazy. And I love how she's on this boat with her weird boyfriend. She's like, I only want one thing on this boat. And so I'm thinking like, oh, a room for my son. And she's like, a walk-in closet. I'm like... Where's my stuff gonna fit? And what about my baby grand piano?

Yeah, sure. Her baby grand... Since when did she have a baby grand piano that she cared so much about? Is she like Liberace of Miami? Well, also, her story from season one is that Leah met her because Bitch was sleeping in the art gallery. She was sleeping in an art gallery. How great is that? She divorced her husband and was homeless, and her and her son were sleeping in an art gallery, which isn't fun. I'm not laughing because of that.

I'm laughing because Adriana's story is that she, like, claws her way up through Miami. So now she's got this rich dude who's like, instead of being like, baby, you're gonna move in with me. This is gonna be great. He's gonna be like, you're on a boat, bitch. Here's your boat. I can't believe she's moving onto a yacht.

Is she crazy? It's gonna take him seven years to renovate it, and I really have a feeling that the Real Housewives of Miami will be done after season two. This is going to wind up as Gilligan's Adventure Part 2. Gilligan Nunez's Adventure. And there's going to be a hurricane, and they're going to get lost in the Bermuda Triangle

in their yacht, and we'll never see them again. Actually, and then three seasons later, they'll end up just randomly docked at Leah's Dock on Star Island. How great is that? Let's do it on the dock. It's Rosey. We're neighbors with Rosey. I am not the biggest

Rosie O'Donnell fan, but can you imagine if you're Rosie O'Donnell and you have Leah on one side and you have that new crazy plastic Barbie whore on the other side? Rosie must be like, I'm straight. I gotta get out of here. Are you kidding? Rosie pulls a Ronnie every day of her life. That bitch has seen everything on Netflix.

She probably has El Pollo Loco delivering to her door. She's sitting in her craft room. Hanging upside down to cure her depression. She probably loves that Barbie girl. That Barbie girl's got big boobs. I'm sure Rosie's a boob girl. Do you think that she likes to motorboat? Oh, yeah.

Of course. If you're Rosie... If you live in Miami by the water, you'd love to motorboat. Yeah of course if you're rosie if you're in miami by the water you love to motorboat yeah it's probably your favorite thing to do you know that that barbie bitch girl you know so that towards the end of the episode they finally had like some sort of party this is the party where where elsa fainted and had to be you know sent off dragged out dragged out but um leah came in and i was like, hi! How do you do? How do you do? And like, she didn't hug, I guess,

this Barbie bitch, whatever her name is. She looked at her like she was gonna throw up and walked right past her and gave love to Mama. Which she should have done. Do you blame her? Because that Barbie bitch's face is so hideous. She's like, oh my god. She's so rude. She's so old and not nice to me. It's all about the new

class. I need some Botox. Can you get some Botox and wait home from work? She's not rude. She's so old and not nice to me. It's all about the new class. I need some Botox. Can you get some Botox on the way home from work? She's not very classy. They all love to, all these dumb bitches on all these shows love to throw around the word class.

Whether it's Luanne, whether it's this Barbie whore, they all love to use the word class and none of them are classy. You know, the funny thing with the Barbie whore one is that she has big boobs and we've seen it before, aka Jesus Juggs, but this girl's boobs, it's like they're up at

her clavicle. They start at her neck or something. Yeah, they are here. Yeah, and she was so proud that her uniboob got fixed, but I don't know, I think she's got some weird thing. She shouldn't be proud of that. Yeah, it's like she just went... She looks like one of those rubber pieces that drag queens wear when they don't want to get a boob job.

So it goes around their neck and it's like a rubber thing that hangs down. It's like boobs. That's what it looks like. It's gross. And her husband looks disgusting, too. You know what? At least we're used to seeing women like this. And especially living in our city, we see them all the time.

But you see a woman with a face that doesn't move and it's injected with so much shit from their ass. It's like, you're used to that. But a guy, it just does not look right. It's not right. And I'm speaking to you, Jeff Lewis. If you're listening. And Dennis Quaid, who I noticed on my airplane movie yesterday, clearly looks like he has some,

had a little bit of... Oh, he's had more than Meg Ryan. Yeah, and how about, even Steve Martin I think has had some stuff. Oh, they all have. Kiefer Sutherland, Michael Douglas. Look, we live in this city. I'm going to think in about six, seven years, we're going to have to do it, too. No, we won't.

I would like to think... We're the Joanna Krupa's of the city. Oh, I forgot. Maybe we'll have some. I'd like to lose weight, and then I know I'll have a waddle, so I'd like to get that cut off, but I don't want everything pulled back. Like I think you should do it a little bit at a time. Yeah.

Tasteful. Very tasteful. Class. You got to have class. Elegance. Elegance. So I think, I think basically the,

we can wrap up Miami and say, I'm excited for, I'm excited for the season. Look, I'm, I'm committing, I'm recommitting. The,

the ratings were not great though. I will say they barely squeaked over a million viewers, which, you know, is... They had a terrible first season, that's why. But the word of mouth, I think, will go up. I think the word of mouth will help carry the show. I do think it's good that they have infused the cast with some younger, evil monster whores.

Yeah. And Leah. All I need to say is one word, Leah. How great is that? I just cannot wait to see what she's up to because she's obviously going to get a huge role this season and I'm so excited to see what her and her mate are going to do.

Don't you think that Elsa deserves more money than the other cast members? Oh yeah. She was the selling point. All the ads. I mean, she... Her existence is to make gifs and memes, right? Yeah. And she's brought the first gay dog onto Bravo. The first officially Her existence is to make GIFs and memes, right? Yeah, absolutely

She's brought the first gay dog onto Bravo The first officially gay dog she's brought onto Bravo Napoleon Why do you think he hides in the closet? Who are you dating? Okay, now I know That I've asked you a thousand times, Ben A thousand questions

Are you still going as Susie Orman For Halloween, or can you maybe going as Susie Orman for Halloween, or can you maybe go as Mama Elsa? Well, here's the thing. Please use your Mama Elsa voice when you answer this question. Thank you. I haven't found people. Now I just sound like a

deaf person. You're like deaf Chewbacca. You're deaf Chewbacca. So if you pick deaf plus Chewbacca. You're deaf Chewbacca. So if you pick deaf plus Chewbacca plus little Latina accent, you do get Elsa. I'm Marisol. It's a very easy combination. Deaf, Chewbacca, Latina. Say whatever you want, Marisol.

Marisol. Marisol. I am not educated, Marisol, man? Marisol. Marisol. I'm not educated, Marisol. So, because... I was Napoleon. Marisol is in the closet. I... Ah, ah, ah.

Vine, Vine, Vine. Ronnie, if you were going to go for Halloween as any Real Housewife cast member, who would you go as? The monk. The monk? That's the only costume I have. A friend made it for me like ten years ago, and I wear it every Halloween.

Was there a Real Housewives monk? I asked which housewife you would go as. It could be Elsa. She always looks like she's wearing monk's robes. Okay, then Elsa. The bald one. I'm going to go as the bald, fat one who wears a monk's robe every night. You're going to look like Uncle Fester.

I'm not a fan of drag. Drag queens actually are kind of scary. I don't like drag either. Wow, you guys are haters. I'm not a hater. I just feel uncomfortable. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell you.

Say it in a more teenage accent if you're going to say know what to tell you. Like, oh my God. And draw on your eyebrows and get some Lee Press on nails. You know, we're talking like that because Christy's not on the show anymore. Oh my God, you guys. Christy got totally fired from the show because she did not make a reservation or pay to go to Leah's Gala last year.

And now she is not going to be on the show. Like, you guys. And all my friends were there and like so i went anyway because my friends are there that's what i don't did my time i came to your stupid event so that's what i donated like okay all right speaking of stupid events let's stay in miami and let's talk about the gallery art basel um and how my arch nemeses chantal and claudia packed up their wares and headed down to miyamis it was like the characters from coralline arrived in miami when they when they showed up sloped over you know hunchbacked fish netted bathing suits

witches hats and like satchels and cauldrons instead of like a styrofoam cooler full of beer it was a cauldron full of wine not from Oregon I was waiting for like Tim Burton to show up and put down some like naughty trees and some like strange puppets

yeah a sea creature yeah anyway I hate them I really hate the Brooklyn Girls with all of my being. Their pop... Claudia is such a... She's... Claudia is... No, I'm sorry. I meant Chantal. I meant Chantal. I'm sorry. Claudia, you know,

Claudia is nice and spacey, and she should be working at a CVS. She should not be working at End of Century. Why a CVS? Because I feel like she could tend to patients' needs or something like that. Wait, you're going to put her in a pharmacy? Well, because...

I think if anything, she should be, like, scanning my trident. No, no. She should be... You're right. She's not at the pharmacy part, but she's one of those people, when you go to the pharmacy, she's wearing, like, a little vest. She's a little smocker vest, and you see her in an aisle and she's putting a toothbrush on an aisle and you say,

hey, where's the mouthwash? And she goes, um, I don't know if we have that, but if we do, it might be in the next aisle or the aisle after that, but I'm not sure. That's what she's meant to do. That's what she does in real life. She might be able

to man the blood pressure tester. But she'd probably mess it up. She probably would think it's like the ice cream scoop. Because you know how Rite Aid has the ice cream station? Yeah. Which is weird. And they shouldn't. A pharmacy should not sell ice cream.

It always creeps me out. I'm always like, there are definitely hypodermic needles in that praline cream. Yeah. I mean, you can see, I feel like a CVS or a Rite Aid is really Claudia's Speed. Like, oh, are you getting that Toblerone? Do you want me to ring that up? Or no? I think that we have Sudoku books on sale, but maybe not.

Maybe it's crossword puzzles. Do you have a membership card? Do you have a rewards card? No? Oh, okay. No, that's crossword puzzles. Do you have a membership card? Do you have a rewards card? No? Okay. No, that's fine. Okay. Do you want to pay with cash? Okay. Credit? I don't care.

I don't think that we take American Express, so that might be a problem. But maybe you could pay in, like, Rolos. Here's some Rolos. How much do you want to pay for that toilet paper? What do you think it's worth? Don't get me started! Don't get me started. I think you can flush that toilet paper,

but I'm not totally sure, but I think there's a manufacturer's number, and you can ask them if the toilet paper is flushable. You should try it, and then come back and tell me. So that if somebody else asks me, I can tell them. The Rolos are on sale, but I don't know about the Charleston Chew. We're doing... It's like the dullest person ever. we're doing we're doing

it's like the dullest person ever she really is how is she on a TV show and we're not so because she is friends with Chantal who's like I really don't think that an art

pop up at an art show is what we should be doing right now. We have to buy light bulbs. And I don't think that you thought about the light bulbs. So I am not going to do the pop-up. But if you would like to do it, by all means do it. But I am not going to. I'm not going to do the pop-up.

Because I think pop-ups are a little not cool. But you do it. And that's fine. It's okay. I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk about it. No, no, little not cool, but you do it. And that's fine. It's okay. I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to. No, no, no.

No, you can do it. No, Matt. I would like to go. No, no, no. I would like to relax. You do it. I want to relax from my busy life. I want to relax in the sun and not get any sun while I do it.

And maybe my gay boyfriend, Spencer. No, Spencer and I will not be doing the pop-up. So you just do it um that girl it she gave me my favorite my favorite way to fight which is how i'm gonna fight next time i'm in an argument if i'm in an argument it's not going my way i'm just gonna start crying it makes everybody uncomfortable did you see that as soon as those fake tears came out claudia was like fine we'll talk about this later she's like uh why are you crying like i don't know like whatever i don't what i don't i don't know claudia was like i think there's some tissues in aisle six if you're crying i'm not sure though

how much of a bitch though is this chantantal Who is like showing up late every day Going like well I heard that You know you don't really Work ever and that the stores never Open and by the way Amy and I Opened the store and you did nothing Actually Lara and I we did this all So

Lara Lara's the one who doesn't even get a fucking chyron And just sits in the background but she did all the work Lara's the only one with parents smart enough a fucking chyron and just sits in the background, but she did all the work. Yeah. Lara's the only one with parents smart enough to say, bitch, if you go on that show, we're cutting you. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in

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by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. think about when they hear the words black history rosa parks reconstruction mlk february black history exactly exactly there are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about especially outside of february and we are about to flip the

script on all of that because on this show you're to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app

or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early and ad free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. We're not investing 15 grand.

We sent you to college, you're going to get a job, and you're going to make some money and not making an ass out of yourself and us on TV. Meanwhile, for some reason I'm starting to like Amy more. I don't know why. There's something about her I'm enjoying. The pendulum swings, I'm telling you It does swing, I mean even though she has Really, you know, she took pictures Basically with an Instagram filter

And even though I have to begrudgingly Agree with Chantal That photography is just a little easy Don't tell that to Angela I don't know I sort of like the Did I say Angela or did i say angela did i say amy amy oh well i like both of them actually more amy is like watching peppermint

patty lie down under a donkey and just watching it shit all over her face for an hour that's what it's like watching amy you know i'm a little bummed because i uh when i was in new york there i did have a chance to go to a party being thrown by Amy, and I didn't get to go to it. What is wrong with you? It just didn't work out, and apparently You would have been the only one there besides she and her brother. I know.

Apparently, it was hosted by it was, like, Amy and, like, the, it was in conjunction with some ridiculous, like, hip-hop website called, like, Hey Dat Some News or something like that. It was as ridiculous sounding as that. It was awful. How is she affiliated with them?

I don't know. But my feeling with Amy is... I mean, I do feel bad for her. I feel like she is so nice. And the fact that everyone on this bitchy cast keeps saying, you know, Amy, she's really nice. Okay, well, here's the thing. Amy totally... She's kissing their ass. bitchy cast keeps saying, you know, Amy, she's really nice. Okay, well, here's the thing. She's kissing their ass.

Amy's one of those people who's like, oh my god, I'm going to pay for your bar mitzvah, and I'm going to just do it because I want to, and of course you're going to say she's nice, but then she's going to get wasted and fuck half your uncles and make an ass out of you and everybody you know at that bar mitzvah. I paid for it. She was completely set up to be fired

by that horrible art bitch lady? No, oh, I love that art. I love that woman. I hate her. I love that woman. But, you know, Amy did not handle herself well.

The woman basically said, like, you did this. And Amy should have been like, oh, I'm sorry, you know. She should have said what she told us. She should have said I was delegating

and I thought I had seniority. Yeah, she was like, I'm sorry, I misunderstood. I was trying to actually show you that I was like a self-starter. Taking the initiative, right. But instead she was like, oh, I don't even remember doing that. Yeah, she's like, I'm sorry. I misunderstood. I was trying to actually show you that I was like a self-starter. Taking the initiative, right. But instead she was like, oh, I don't even remember doing that. Oh, it was like a joke.

No, she told us that in her testimonial or whatever because she had already been fired and she had come up with that excuse. Yeah. She knew that she was not doing the right thing. That bitch comes to work late. She barely shows up half the time. Okay, can you do me a favor for a second? Can you get off Carrie's jock? Because she is a big ol' bird-faced dumb fuck prostitute

at night, and she is not an amazing... She has no fucking art background, Ronnie! Yeah, but nobody on this show has an art background, except the girl who went to school for it. And she's basically used that to count pebbles in... Have you noticed that Liz sounds like... The way she talks, she's basically like

Kristen Wiig doing the assholes skit. Yes, she does. That's true. And then... She has massive daddy issues. Yeah, she didn't really gotta get over those. Like, just, you know, she's like, all my dad does is pay for my life. I was like, well, you know what? Congratulations. That's a big deal. I've enjoyed that. Right. And she's

not so young anymore, and it's kind of like she's really upset that her dad's not buying them an all-expenses-paid vacation for the family anymore, it's called. Guess what? My dad doesn't do that for me, bitch. Yeah. And she's like, my dad just doesn't want a relationship with me. Really, I can't imagine why. You snorted half the town, embarrassed him, and now that you're off drugs, you're just drunk.

She probably fucked half his business partners. Whenever you're around him, you act like a total ice-cold bitch. I don't ever see her being like, hey dad, how's everything with you? It's so good to see you. She's just like, oh, hey. Why wouldn't he pick me up from the airport? Well, you know, I feel

like this is a perfect segue into my gossip. Do it. Courtesy of Maggie. Do it, bring it. Courtesy of Maggie. Do it. Bring it. So here's the deal. So Maggie, who might be listening, Maggie on the show...

If she's not, that's a serious problem. Because we've been, like, saying that we love her from the beginning. Well, I think she's listening. So we actually got drinks when I was in the city. I tweeted at her. I was like, let's get drinks. And so she came out with my friends and I. Very nice.

No, get to every detail. What was she wearing? Why don't... She was wearing, like, let's get drinks. And so she came out with my friends and I. Very nice. No, get to every detail. What was she wearing? Well, I don't... She was wearing, like, a sparkly top. She will probably tweet. Maggie, tweet at us and tell us what you were actually wearing, because I don't know fashion. Okay, it was a sparkly top.

And sparkly top. Let me guess, a high pony. It wasn't in a pony. Her hair was down. She was very cute. Did she have the smell... She's real thin. Okay, did she have the smell of Eli Klein on her?

No, and by the way, also, side note. Eli's brother? Yeah, I was about to say. Danger, that's your future. Yeah, I was about to say. That's the first time Eli ever looked sort of okay. Oh, put him next to the brother and he's hot. Yeah.

When the brother came by and then it cut to Eli, I was like, oh, Eli's looking pretty good for himself. I'm like, whoa. Welcome to your future. Okay, did Maggie bring her boyfriend? Her boyfriend was at some, like, Guido jersey party. That she decided not to go to? She was like, I do not want to go.

In fact... More importantly, I'm assuming you did not get drinks in Brooklyn because she's terrified of the glass on the street. Yeah, we did not. We met at the White Horse Tavern in the West Village, but she did say that she got a lot of flack about the Brooklyn thing and she's like, and the thing is that where I got out apparently is a nice part

of Brooklyn, so people are really giving it to me. Ronnie keeps giving it to her. That was my stop. That's the stop I used to live at. That's like the Disneyland part of Brooklyn. That's like the gentrified, they've kicked out all the Hasidim and they've made it like all art galleries and fancy tie places you know that's actually nice well um she uh so first of all she says that um liz's tattoo is all like hello kitty and maybe you can't see it like on the tv is that because they're into like this

contemporary asian art shit with eli klein Or she's just terribly cliched. Or she was just probably high. She was 17 and like, oh my god. Or she was flying high on coke and she was in Miami saying, you know,

tap me up. Oh my god. I love Hello Kitty. Yeah. Hello Kitty there. Hello Kitty. It's art. It's art.

Maggie says she was the only one out of everyone who had been working at a gallery. Oh, and also... Wait, are you telling me that everybody else had no fucking jobs? Isn't that shocking? And she hates Liz, by the way.

She hates Liz? She despises Liz. Why? I think this coming episode, they have a fight. It's coming up. Yeah, they have a fight, and apparently she hates... I want her to hate Carrie. I hate Carrie. I hate Carrie.

I don't think she has really an opinion on Carrie. And she, well, I mean... I actually want her to hate all of them because I only like her. She hates Liz and she said, she's like, I hope that there's a reunion so I can punch her in the face. Okay, Maggie, love you. Liz will fucking eat you alive. Yeah, that's true.

Maggie, she's so petite. I don't know. Liz is pretty insecure for it. Okay, she's insecure, but my God, all the rage that she has in her from her daddy issue, she could murder cities. Yeah, I feel like...

I think she's like a bully that the second you tell her something like she told Amy, she would start sobbing and like... So you think if Maggie says to her nice Hello Kitty tattoos, Liz will just crumble? I think Liz... I'd like to see Liz,

Brandy, and Giovanna Krupa get into a ring together and fight it out. Team Brandy Glanville. So anyway, she hates Liz, but she's actually friends with Amy, and she says that Amy's a real sweetheart. Because she's pathetic. Well, she really vouches...

And she dresses like a 75-year-old woman. And she probably smells like an old department store dressing room in Bloomingdale's from the 1970s. Perhaps. And then Maggie also wanted to emphasize that she and Eli never had a thing and that she has standards. Ronnie, are we believing that no do you i mean don't they say on the show that they oh no liz made liz i guess is the one who said made us think that so so why does she do all of these things for eli that are so demeaning um just because the show producers told her to well she said the pebbles thing she actually had to do that that wasn't

the producers did not put her up for that. When she counted those pebbles, that was a real... No, I think that's pretty natural that when you work with an asshole, that's what they make you do. I've worked for a couple of people. I was hired on a job to work as a writer and I wrote everything and it was non-union

and they flew me out to New Mexico, I mean to Mexico and I get there and they hand me a fucking PA schedule and had me working 18 hours a day, lug luggage with my 300-pound ass on the beach, and there was nothing I could... Oh, I've been through it, and I wasn't fucking anybody. I feel for you, Maggie. I feel for you, Maggie. We are learning so much about Ronnie tonight. Oh, yeah.

Now, here's an interesting story that not even actually Maggie is totally aware of. So, when we were at the White Horse Tavern, this old... What did she order to drink? Do not tell me a fucking lychee martini. White Horse? You guys were at White Horse? Isn't that in L.A.? Well, this one is... This was in New York. This one's been around for decades. Did she order a lychee martini? Why don't you guys guess what she ordered? Oh, and she said, by the way, that Carrie did pay her bar tab, and they made it

look like she didn't. Oh, they made her look like she peaced out without paying? Yeah, she said that Carrie did pay it. My guess is that Maggie drinks a Bloody Mary. What do you think, Ronnie? What do you think she ordered? I would say, like, a vodka cranberry. She ordered a beer.

She was trying to bunch it up for you. Was it a Michelob Ultra? I actually don't remember what beer it was. Well, you know what I read? Wait, was it a beer? I don't think it was a beer. How drunk were you? We were drinking.

Well, she told me about her first date with her boyfriend. He gave her a beer. Where did she meet him? I mean, he looks like a beer. Where did she meet him? I mean, he looks like a Jersey Shore cast-off. I don't remember where she said she met him, but they had a very nice first date. She was like, ugh, can you believe he did this for...

She got me a beer and da-da-da-da-da. She was sort of like saddened like she was complaining, and then we're like, that sounds like a great date, Maggie. She's like, yeah, it was. Yeah, but he doesn't even like... She's getting all cute before they go out, and she has to tell him like, do I look cute? Like, he's not complimenting her enough. She said the reason why she was so annoyed that night was because, and I don't think this breaches anything to say it, but she, I guess they had, it wasn't even the night of her birthday. It was, like, a week later, and on top of that, they had just on, like, hours of interviews, and she was just in a foul mood.

But, um. Well, I'd like to stand up for the boyfriend. He's hot. He seems to really like her and i think that sometimes when you're a smart person who has ambitions and goals sometimes it's good to just have a big dumb idiot that you can come home and cuddle up with yeah and he seems like a nice guy and he he like has a i forget what exactly where he works but it's a legitimate a legitimate job he's not like mooching off her. Yeah. He is a, he has a real job. So anyway, um, we'll, so we're at the white horse tavern

and we're sitting there and we spotted, there was a giant cockroach on the floor in this bar, which is very classy or whatever. And, uh, and so everyone was like screaming. I wasn't screaming, but some people were screaming and it was crazy. And then the next day I had brunch with one of my friends who was there and he's like, you know, i didn't want to say it last night because i didn't want to freak her out but i think i saw the cockroach fall on maggie and by the time like he wasn't sure i want to say like it crawled out of her louis vuitton he said he thought he saw something fall on her but he wasn't sure it was and then when they saw the cockroach on the floor that he realized that it that it had

fallen on her do they fall from the ceiling in new york apparently this one did in fact he actually said at the time he said oh i thought i saw it fall but he didn't say he saw it fall on her but the next morning he did admit he's like uh it fell on maggie so maggie if a cockroach fell on you if a cockroach ever fell on me anywhere bar bar, my house, wherever, I would run out into the street in front of a bus immediately. It's a vile. I was a huge cockroach. I then took her to, we went to a place called Barracuda. Ronnie, are you familiar with Barracuda?

I don't know. I don't remember. What are you eating? Most of the time I lived there. Okay, did she pay for her own drink or did you treat her on our tab? I got her a drink at Barracuda. Very nice. Did she order another beer or you can't remember because you were so fucked up?

No, it was like a vodka tonic or something like that. And she pretty much got out of there pretty quickly because it was too gay for her. Did you embarrass yourself at all in front of her? I don't think so. I think she can say if I embarrassed her. I know I walked too gay for her. Did you embarrass yourself at all in front of her? I don't think so. I think she can say if I embarrassed her. I know I walked too fast for her. She was trying to keep up with me and kept getting mad at me for walking too fast. Now this is not gossip.

This is now just mundane details of the night. So that's the Maggie story, everyone. Thank you, Maggie. Maggie was nice. Yay, Maggie! Yay, Maggie! story, everyone. Thank you. Maggie was nice.

Yeah, Maggie. So, Maggie, props to you, because I know it's got to be annoying listening to people make fun of you and then going to have a drink with them. So, right on. Good for you, girl. Actually, there was no hair pulling, self-hair pulling, during this meeting, and you did not pull any hair. And you still had hair.

There was no bald patches. There was no bald patches. I think I have... Whatever bald patches I have are not from Maggie. I can tell you that. No, I was asking if she had any because she's a hair puller. No, but she was playing with her hair. Did she think it was sexy and cute? I don't think she even knows.

Or is it a nervous tick? It's like the way right now how I'm playing with my ear. You're fondling your ear a lot. I'm fondling my ear. That's my Maggie-ism. I fondle my ear sometimes. It's like I'm plucking hairs. Matt's my Maggie-ism. I follow my ear sometimes. It's actually my fucking hairs. Mad respect, because I know that next week you tell that bitch Liz to go suck it, so good for that.

And another thing I heard about Maggie is that she is from the DuPont family. And that her father is a DuPont, and that's why she says her father is fancy, but her mom's not, because her father is like a zillionaire so good for her for actually working because if i was a dupont i'd just wake up and like go around

all my different blenders and refrigerators and like ovens and touch them and be like i need a new dupont oven somebody call my daddy i wouldn You, I think, sound like that evil girl in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Violet or something? No, the other one. Veruca Salt? No, the other one. Who's the one that's with the curly blonde hair? Oh, I don't know.

Veruca Salt. Whatever. Veruca. Veruca Salt, I think. Another piece of gossip that I have, you guys, involves Emma. And this was sent to me by, oh my god god damn it ronnie who sent this to me someone on twitter so thank you for whoever did that god i'm a horrible person anyway it's really good it's a letter from fordham university and a woman whose dreams of a career

in the art business were cut short when she flunked out of school is suing for a refund of forty three thousand nine hundred and forty40 in tuition and other damages. Amy Poliakoff said the Sotheby's Institute of Art denied her a fair hearing when it threw her out, according to a complaint filed Friday in New York Supreme Court. She also wants the school to expunge her academic record. Snapple, Amy. Hey, you know what I got to say?

Fordham is now two for two on getting these reality stars out of their institution. It's not Albie Manzo's Alba. They got Albie out and they've got Amy out. They're like, we do not want you guys in here. Yeah, Bravo is like, get the fuck. Or they're like, keep Bravo out of this, off the campus. Maybe they knew each other in college.

Or maybe you actually have to show up to school when you go to school. Maybe Fordham actually makes you come to school. Because you know Amy didn't come. She's not going to show up for a big important internship. She ain't going to go to school. Maybe Fordham actually makes you come to school. Because you know Amy didn't come. And she's not going to show up for a big important internship. She ain't going to go to class. She's probably like, I'm really upset that Fordham didn't take the chance to get to know me. Because if they had done that, they would have realized I would be a great

asset to their art program. I love that at the end, after she got fired, she was like, the thing that hurts the most is that she didn't love my glowing personality. Your amazing personality? What the fuck are you talking about? Poor Amy.

Poor, poor Amy. As I said, poor Amy. Did anybody notice that she had five remote controls on the side of her, on her nightstand? It was really bothering me.

I feel like she's one of those, like, I'm a classy 65-year-old lady slash I'm a secret dirty hoarder. I will say, I have a classy 65-year-old lady slash I'm a secret dirty hoarder. I will say I have a litany of remote controls around this apartment. Five on a nightstand?

Maybe three of them are vibrators. Well, one is for the Blu-ray. I'm imagining Amy's setup. One's for Blu-ray. One's for her posturpedic bed that raises up and goes down. And one is for her TV. One is for Blu-ray. One's for her her posturpedic bed that raises up and goes down. And one is for her TV. One is for her radio. And one is her lady parts. Yes.

Her remote control vibrator. That's shaped like a Van Gogh. Oh, break me. So she gets fired from her job and she decides that she's not going to just be depressed and stay in her house and watch Netflix and gain 60 pounds. I'm going to Mijami. And she is going to make herself known as someone who can produce and get things done.

So she offers the end of century girls a chance to have their show in Miami. And she's going to hook up a space for them. And she's going to get all their art there. And she's going to produce it, you guys. And by all their art, you mean like I'm going to hang like three turquoise necklaces and four pairs of shit earrings on a thumbtack board? Well, I'm not going to put a thumbtack board up because you have to buy one. And I don't know where to get a thumbtack board in Miami or light bulbs. So I cannot do that.

I'm not going to do the pop-up show. So I'm not going to be hanging any of that. I am just going to go to the beach and pretend I'm at a swamp. Oh, I hate her. She's abysmal. It's like a funeral for Miss America

who happened to win the swimsuit division. What was she wearing? It was like a black feet. Oh my god, did you see? She's so skinny that she has like those weird like she has like pony pelvis you know what i mean where like the very popular in japan are there like the width of her leg from her crotch to her ankle is the same width and then instead of like going up normally like up into a crotch taint area. She has like that weird gap. She, I just

Did I say taint and it upset you? No, no. What upset me was that for a moment there I was starting to like Chantal a little bit. She sort of seemed like she had a sense of humor. But now I just see that she's a raging bitch. I think Chantal's one of my favorite ones. Ronnie, shut up. You're just trying to get us

to hate you. You know, I go up every week. Every week there's one that I love and one that I hate I really do like all of the girls on the show I even like stupid Angela I like all the girls Angela's grown on me is Carrie because I feel like

Carrie tries to make the whole show about her she doesn't understand she's on a show with other people she's kind of on this island where she's trying to get her own long island being boring or something and then you they show her like sitting around like having lunch with her family and all she does is like huff and puff and like everyone's like how's your glamorous life in new york and she's like my life is terrible it's so much you guys i'm so busy all the time you guys because i have to work one job and then I have to work another job just to keep up,

and it's, like, so hard. It's like, you know what? Do you know what your parents did? They woke up with pains in their stomach. You know, your mom had to work at the restaurant. Your dad fucking shoveled the snow out of the driveway. You really want to hear that their fucking rich daughter is having a hard day.

You're living in a beautiful apartment, and you're probably making money from using your vagina. So stop complaining. That's Ronnie's dream. This is turning into a Billy Joel song. It is. It's 9 o'clock or actually it's 2 a.m. on a Friday morning. It's late

and you apparently caught me in a really depressive episode. Well, I gosh, I love this show so much. What did you think when they went on their field trip? I will say that all of the animal skulls that were glued together with bedazzlement was

kind of terrifying. And I was eating dinner when I was watching it and it was not good. Yeah, that was pretty crazy. As was the weird stuff down in Miami at that one gallery that seemed to be run by Elsa. The second coming of Elsa. I'll be honest with you.

This show's been on for like six episodes. There's not one piece of art I've wanted. Wait, no. I saw some cool art. Actually, you know what I saw? You know which piece of art I liked the most? At Amy's house, there was a quick shot of their family room or something. There was this cool piece of art that was a big piece piece that was over like their tv or something it was like

oh it's a miami it was like parallelograms or something like that and that i thought was cool and actually i thought a lot of stuff at liz's at the margulies warehouse was very cool really nothing as cool as liz you guys this neighborhood was nothing. And then my dad, like, he would just buy a $10,000 painting and then sell it and he just kept doing that. That was before art was cool and before people were buying art. My dad was buying it and he took this neighborhood, there was

nothing here, and now look. And they're like, oh my god, it's such a great neighborhood. Yeah, because of this place. Because of what my dad did. And then cut to a confessional of her talking shit about her father. Yeah. And then she's like, I can't believe those end of century girls came when they weren't invited. And I'm like, it was a public event that was open to the public.

I kind of do love, however, that she invited Angela to a breakfast in front of Claudia and Chantal without inviting the other two because the other two are horrible. Well, and the other thing that's funny is you can see how Angela's eyes light up by Queen Liz, Regina George. The cool table invited me to come sit and have lunch with me. I can get away from the goth losers. Yeah, like, as much as Angela wants to be like,

I hate all that, you know she was, like, teased. And, like, the popular girl is calling upon her, and it is exciting to her her creepy nipples which typically make an appearance in every episode were very hard yeah anything goes at miami art basel by the way i think that i kind of know what's going on in the universe i have never heard of art basel in my life It apparently is a big deal. Really? Uh, yeah. Someone was telling me about it. Should we podcast from there next year? Uh, yes.

Yes, we have to make some art. Well, unfortunately, Gallery Girls, the ratings are only about 650,000 viewers per week, which is even less than The Real Housewives of Mijami. Well, that's because Bravo doesn't promote it. They're slapping it after The Real Housewives of Mijami. Well, that's because Bravo doesn't promote it. They're slapping it after The Real Housewives of New York, which is now, it's losing like 75% of its lead-in. That's like a problem.

Well, the problem, well, but they could be doing something. They had Liz on this week, which was good, but they need to get the buzz out because you know what? Like, I feel like everyone here in LA, everyone I speak to, they watch it and they're obsessed with it. When I went to New York, no one watched it. And in fact, poor Maggie. But are those people in New York that think that they're fancier than us LA people and they say they don't even watch TV?

No, no, no, no. These are not people like that. And poor Maggie. She's so sweet, but like. She's like my mom doesn't even watch. No, no, no. If you meet her, like the third thing out of her mouth is like, do you watch Gallery Girls? I'm on it.

And it's like, you could, but you know gallery girls i'm on it you know and it's like you could but you know what though no shame no shame she's trying to she's working out more than andy cohen she has to and you know what and i and i want her to get the word out and and it's a good show and people should watch it and listen to this yeah i'm liking it too but i think bravo is just a little confused i mean they've really cultivated an older audience you know it's the only channel where you can really turn something on and see older people be mean to each other. And so I think it's just a little weird seeing 20-year-olds don't watch Bravo.

If you ask someone young, you know, if you tell someone young you're watching Bravo, they're going to be like, okay, you old fucking gay person. Why? Are you calling us old fucking gay people? Yeah. In a nice way. Well, maybe I just am old and gay people? Yeah. In a nice way. Maybe I just am old and gay and crusty, but you know what, though?

I like my gallery girls. They keep me young. I love me some gallery girls. Anyway, do we have any other thoughts on gallery girls, or have we made it to the end of our doubleheader? No, you guys, this has been a long podcast. I don't think we could ever do radio where you have to just go for like five hours. I can't believe it. Do we have to do Audible? Do we have to do radio where you have to just go for like five hours. I couldn't. I can't believe it.

Do we have to do Audible? Oh, yeah. Do we have to do Audible? We've talked about them so much, Audible. You know what, Audible? What have you done for me? I know what you've done. Don't even bother.

The ad's supposed to be at the top of the show. Worst comes to worst, we'll slap another one just in post-production at the top of this. Don't worry, everyone. You're spared. But you should go to Audible. Just listen to your books, you guys. Listen to your books. You can get a free one if you go to audible.com

forward slash bravo. That will be your free book. And by the way, just for people who want to know behind the scenes goss on this podcast, we started recording this at 11.30. What time is it now? It's now 1.30 in the morning. We've done two hours worth that we're splitting up.

I have to go to the office. I have to, like... I have to finish writing a Big Brother recap. Not okay. And who I wanted to win did not win. And I'm upset. I'm having a horrible time now. Horrible. Well, everyone, I'm having a horrible time now.

Horrible. Well, everyone, I hope you enjoyed this double header. Well, it is baseball season, so that makes sense, right? Look at me being all butch. But now we're in football season, so this is almost like a... They have double headers there. Yes, they do. Every Sunday

there's even a triple header. I'll tell you, you had a great time tonight ronnie carom i had a lovely time tonight you guys it's always fun talking to you i'm so worried i am worried about ronnie you are i'm okay guys i'm okay well he does have a gas leak in his apartment i think it's making him loopy oh okay i might i might turn it on just to save money on weed. It sounds kind of similar. Just like Ashley, who doesn't know how to turn off the gas oven. Oh, yeah, why

did we talk about that? Oh, my God, she's gonna blow up my building because she's next door. So it turns out the oven, sometimes the stove doesn't all the way turn off. Unless you turn it all the way off. Unless you turn it all the way off. And I left it on for three days. Oh my God.

I love how Jack was like, well, I want to say something, but I want to let her make her own mistakes. Meaning blow up the block. She'll explode herself. And you and me. Well, it'll be more you. More me than you.

I have to worry about MJ's issues. Which are probably a lot more. I have to worry about her throwing saffron and pomegranates at me or something like that. Anyway, thank you all for tuning in this week. We really do appreciate it. If you love our show, we are Watch What Crappens. Please download us on

iTunes. Please leave us a comment. Find us on Facebook. Facebook.com forward slash Watch What Crappens. We are on Twitter at What Crappens and the three of us can also be found on Twitter as well. Ben is at bsideblog. I am at lifeonthemlist and

Ronnie is at tvgasm. Thank you. We'll be back next week. I don't know if it's going to be a doubleheader next week. It just may be because we have so much to talk about. We'll see. We'll see. TV is a lot. If you guys like this one, Eric, we just overstayed our welcome, guys. Very possible.

Well, bye. Thanks, everybody. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews

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