Watch What Crappens - #365 RHOA & Top Chef: Stalkers and Ghosts

Episode Date: January 10, 2017

This week’s Real Housewives of Atlanta takes Matt over the line. Will Kenya ever make it to her HUGE job opening one of Peter’s restaurants? Also, a beautiful ghost comes to Top Chef, and the chick who looks like Lena Dunham sobs ugly-ily. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Also, check out Ronnie’s new TrashTalkTV RHOBH Audiobook podcast at tttv.podbean.com Timestamps: 00 Chatter and RHOA 1:11:40 Top Chef See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air,

come over to Facebook.com-watchwatchwatch.com. And to follow us on social media, go to watchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatch, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap It's my best so much that's happened. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's sponsor Christy Dowdy and it's super duper sugar momma super sponsor Madonna Hines with a sexy J. We love you girl Hello and welcome to the watch what crap ends podcast real housewives of Atlanta and top chef edition. I'm Ronnie Keram from TrashTalkTV, the RosePrix Bachelor podcast, and the real housewives of Beverly Hills audiobooks on iTunes. Go listen. And I'm with the gorgeous talented 2017 Ben Mandelker of the B-side blog and the banter blender. Hello, bin. Oh, hello, Ronnie. How are you? Did you like my multiple accented Dorit opening? I liked it. I felt like it was both in honor

of Dorit and the upcoming M night Shamilan movie split, which I'm showing for no good reason. It's not a sponsor. It's just like it's all to eat. It's just all the fights that Duret can't remember is starting. Emnight Shamanan presents Duret. I don't seem to remember doing a movie. I'm sure I should have moved you there much. Milan is a dear friend. There's a twist, but I don't remember it. I'm sorry, I don't remember seeing dead people, but I do remember seeing panties!

Oh, no, no, none! I messed up my entire garage to reach premise. Well, it's okay, it's just a movie. So, the premise can be whatever you want, Ben. I see dead pussy. I see dead underwear! I see dead underwear. I see dead careers. Oh, it's just you, boy George.

Eric was the joiner. I has been dead the whole time. I've one of our listeners, Curtis. He's one of our one of our loyal listeners and one of our more vocal ones. He was like, leave Boy George out of this. I'm sorry, he's collateral damage. I have nothing to get for George. For George does not get left out of anything when he's on the damn TV. Okay. You tweet that to Dorite. Dorite leaves her out. We'll leave her out. So today is real

housewives of Atlanta and top chef. What would you like to begin with my little Benjamunes? Well, considering I just finished watching real house of Atlanta, just 30 minutes ago, was fresh in my brain. Why don't we get into our Atlanta ladies, huh? Real housewives of Atlanta. Dogaroo. Dogaroo. I wish that was the title of the episode, because that's where they went to take their dogs for a while. Oh, no, that's good. Taking the bitches to a bath dogaroo. Yeah. Um, it was sort of like a dogaroo this episode because there's a lot of bitches in dogviding and barking and biting. So, you know, and I figure, you know, it's actually really good that these ladies named their dogs after them

because Kenya, or after themselves, because Kenya names her dog Twirl and something else. I don't know. And then, what is it? Twirl and King. I think about that because if you put them together, they become twirking, which sounds like twirking. Yeah, it's like really awkward twirking.

Twirking, yeah. Twirking. It's like mom. It's twerking. Twirking. Twirking. It's like mom. It's like your mom is what I do. Hey guys, look, I'm twirking. It's like mom. Oh, I'm not doing it right. Yeah, that's my version.

I actually was tried to do some twerking last night. My boyfriend just, he just goes, you have such a, you just have like the most classic white groove. Yeah. It's true. You have such a, you just have like the most classic white groove. It's true. Don't be great. Especially when your boyfriend's not only black. He's a black choreographer. I mean, you must have a set of nuts on you boy.

I would never. Hey, it's free tips. I'm getting tips from a professional, which I don't ask you to fly. I don't track. He was like don't ask you to smicker. I don't attract. He was like, you got to move your butt down. Move your butt down.

And he's like, you keep moving it up. I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. Well, it must go up to come down. Physically. If you win. When I twerk, my version of twerking is what goes up must go up again and again and again and never come down.

And the end. Just like this strange position, undulating. High ass twerking by Ben Mammacher. Twerking. Twerking is what I do. Oh, well, these ladies named their dogs after themselves. And I think it's funny because they basically just shit the floor.

Like nobody in the real housewives ever potty train their dog. It's just like a trail of shit. So I think it's funny that Kenya and Cynthia both named their dogs after themselves. What was Cynthia's dog name? Again, was it named like Bally? Like kitchen, oh, oh, Bally, Bally?

Yeah, Bally Bally. Seriously, seriously, Bally Bally. Yeah. I mean, we make fun of people for having two first names as their name, but I don't think we've ever made fun of someone for having like two last names as their name. That'd be like naming a cat. Like if I got a cat named Mandelker, it's just weird.

Mandelker Mandelker. Caram Caram. It's sort of like when I used to watch a homeland, I used to get really upset when Maranaka about, I forget her last name, but what was named the main, I was Damien, I can't remember anyone's names on that show, but his character name, the ginger. The ginger, his character's name was like runie or something like that

His last name was runie his name was like Bobby Rooney, which I know it wasn't But that's what his name something like that and the wife was like hey runie. Hey runie I was like it's no weird that a wife calls you by your last name, but you're a runie, too Yeah, they didn't have the closest marriage spoiler alert that didn't really work out I love the good foreshadowing. I love a sloppy homeland callback. You know, I was just watching Homeland because that came back on and that carry that clear dainty.

She's just always she's like, I'm really upset in thinking about things. She's always got Tom number two face from Vanderpump rules. I was worried about it. They're like, don't you want to fight terrorists again? And she's like, the sad part is that there are a lot of parallels between Kerry on homeland and Matt on Real Housewives of Atlanta. You know that he walked around hearing weird snippets of jazz and clips from his past. You know he snorting like diet pills at home to like get energy to get through the day of work. Does that mean that Kenya's the ginger, whatever. Damian, what's his face? Kenya's the terrorist. Well, that's the ginger, whatever Damian what's his face? Yeah, Kenya's the terrorist.

Well, that's the ginger too, right? Spoiler or possibly possibly okay. It was a big battle in his mind. Okay. Oh, I know. I know. There are shades of gray with terrorism. Who is Mandy?

Who is Mandy? That's home. That's home. That's home lands end meaning there's shades of gray in terrorism. Oh, I mean, Damien Lewis's character name was Nicolas Brody for those of you screaming. Yeah, Brody. I always feel like it's important to correct ourselves when we can on a podcast because we have thousands of people listening to this and their cars would ever and they're hearing misinformation and they're shouting it at

the podcast at least in their heads, which is actually the opposite of shouting. And it's very frustrating. I've been on the receiving end of that web and listening to a podcast. I'm like, no, that's incorrect. That's incorrect. So they're sweet relief. Why we could never work for Homeland Security. We just forget all the names of everybody.

Yeah, I was talking to a contact. Oh, what was their name? It was two last names. Two last names. That would be Tom Schwartz working for all men's again Gosh, I don't know. It's just really stressful. I don't know. I was like I was like captured and I was trying to get information But like I don't know it's like having a panic attack while they're what are boarding me? I don't know Do I want to blow things up? I don't even know I don't know, Baba

Seriously Seriously, you're gonna capture me right now. Seriously seriously do I look like ball-bubbed all seriously seriously so Seriously so Seriously I couldn't be talking happier right now, okay? I Can't believe Lisa Vanderpump gathered the entire South of sir in sir and the terrorist blew up sir Thank God we're making out in the back alley. Yeah, Carrie has been saved a lot from making out in the back alley. She's missed a lot of terrorist attacks by getting some. They really are so many parallels, so many parallels. So many. But we're here to talk about Atlanta. Yeah. Today we're talking about the terrorism in Atlanta.

And her name is Kenya Moore. So Cynthia and Kenya still pretended to be friends. I can't imagine how this would work out in real life. I can't imagine just getting a call from Kenya like, Hey, how's it going? Just thought I'd say hi. Bullshit. Kenya has a real friend to nobody.

Okay. Yeah, I wonder what can you does do when she's not filming the show? Like, what does she spend her idle hours doing? I think she just- I literally can't imagine it. She's one of those girls whose entire day is spent like trying on different Snapchat filters. I think she just sits in her bed and like, that's a different filter's on her face. Like, what if I was a bird?

Does she play like Candy Crush? Farmville. No, you know she got- she was one of those who got frustrated on like level 13. like what if I was a bird? Does she play like candy crush farmville? No, you know she got she was one of those who got frustrated on like level 13. She was like, fuck this. She probably made a pretty decent farm and then she invited Matt to be her friend on farmville and he keeps coming over and destroying her cop crops. He keeps coming over and kicking over the fence. She's like, Matt come over to my farm.

Matt, and he comes over like, Matt, you can't be at this farm. Fuck you. He kills tears of all the turnips. Her friends are all sending invites on Facebook messenger. Can you more ask you to build her offense on Farmville? Hidden fences. That's a Golden Globes reference. And since you didn't want to go to the globes,

you're not going to get it. Well, I can get a fence with reference. What can you inferences? Oh, don't you, don't you dare silly the legacy of August Wilson with Kenya more. She's like, you can fence me in, but I'm just going to twirl on anyway. That's what it's about, right?

Not really. No golden globes are one ever. Should be like, Piawla Davis, like, why don't you get a tissue? I adlit that. She's like, I'll have a bullet. She's like, I'll have from. But it's over Broadway. Ha, trying to get a writing credit on the show.

Me and I just Wilson co-wrote fences. So can you tongue kisses her dog? I was embarrassed for them because this wasn't even a dog groomer. This was one of those places where you wash your own dog. I mean, look, do it at home. Hey, y'all have sinks and B, why would you take your dog somewhere where it's going to come home smelling like white rain and then have Bordeadella? Because you know that's where you get Bordeadella.

Any where there's other dogs. I don't even know what Bordeadella is. It sounds like a cheese. It's like kennel cough basically. Oh, and you know, you don't want to be around a dog with a cough because they don't go like they do this. It's like having a little old person walking around the house who can't get smought out of its legs.

It sounds like a della on ladies in London trying to clear her throat. I mean both the jaw. You know, yeah, this place did look very low right? Did he have me wondering if Dr. Curves was behind it. Dr. Curves, they're like, wash your dog. Put your own breast in. Cynthia was not having it. Cynthia's like, Bailey has his own groomer named Bailey.

It's actually my daughter. She's also named Bailey now. She's the new face of my glasses sign Bailey. Bailey, I have created a new liquor called Bailey's and we're having an issue right now, a legal issue. I don't. Did that commercial for Cynthia's glasses ever come out? Because I would love to see Cynthia Bailey, I wear with Kenya just like rowing away. Because she was like refusing to do it. They're like, why did she row away in the ocean? I nearly forgot about that that commercial. I just remembered right now, and it was like new to me. I was like, wow, what a good

commercial. I'm sure it's like the ring didn't mean a thing is tied up in litigation with confials as camp. Some some creations are just too good to come out in public. Well, Cynthia and Kenya have bonded the way a lot of women bond these days with talk of their city relationships that everyone else is sick of hearing about. So they both get a turn to talk about their relation because Kenya has been hired. I put that in quotes because I think she traded this for some Instagram likes. I can't imagine Peter paying for her for this but Peter's proof. He's brewed. He's brewed. He hired her to come be the the host this of my new opening of ball 11 or whatever. How many but what's it called?

Club one club one club one ball one and begotoo. He's got a coffee three. He's got he's got a good franchise you you know, the one franchise. It's like the most confusing customer service ever. Club one. All right, it's on your breath one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So basically he invited Kenya to be, to host the opening party to club one, which is shady because Kenya is Cynthia's friend and Peter did not invite Cynthia and not only did he not invite you didn't even tell Cynthia that he was inviting Kenya. And Cynthia is trying very hard to do this mature adult thing where we're still friends. It's cool. Like I don't want you to make, I don't want you to pick sides. But Peter is shady as fuck and he's still being shady and I think this was very shady. And I also think that should should not have accepted it

I mean is she that desperate that she has to go the opening of club one. I mean don't answer that well How many garage doors is the woman last yes, he's that desperate It's like this was not in my budget And also Peter probably just invited Kenya because he feels like What's your buns Cynthia probably stopped following him on Instagram and he just wants to make sure she knows, you know. I'm still opening things with your money. I feel like she forgot about a capital one card

in some drawer somewhere because how the fuck Peter getting money? Yeah, I don't understand that. It's called a Ponzi's game. Ponzi. Oh yeah. Ponzi four. Yeah, Ponzi one.

So, um, can you guess a bit about Matt, but she's,'s of course telling the story in the way that's like it's totally gonna work out with me and Matt She's like well my dad met Matt and you know, he helped us a lot He said you need help and go to therapy. What we're both gonna do? Yeah, no, it's not it it's not going to work out. It's not. And Kenya also had white glue all over her eyelashes. You know, that woman takes a long time to get ready,

but the only person who needs a hose down at this place is you. Bitch, get in the tub. Glue on your eyelashes. At least paint over that shit. So then speaking of Peter, we then go over to Peter, who is at a card dealership, where Todd Tucker comes to meet him. Todd crawls out of this gigantic Jeep, which does nothing for Todd Statcher, I have to say.

He really doesn't. He's like, he's in the Lego movie. Yeah. A tiny guy, a little tiny head with a baseball cap that like floats over his head somehow. Lego man. Everything is not awesome because Peter is is allegedly buying a Mercedes. Although I I don't believe any of it. I think it's all for show because I think everything is there for sure. I think that Peter is really there to get a keychain that says Mercedes on it. Peter's such a liar.

Okay, you know how they talk about the housing bubble like that was a big thing that killed our economy and now they're saying that the new housing bubble is the auto bubble Because basically they've got everybody leasing these crazy cars and then at some point people are like wait a second I'm paying $600 a month for a car. You fucking kidding me. No way and they just stop paying I was one of them anyway, I'm just warning that out so everybody can remember that when the economy crashes. Next time you're standing in a bread line, just remember Peter getting into a Mercedes because that's where it all began.

Peter's bubble, Peter's bubble, 18. Peter's bubble, your Peter, you got a cause? Boom, Peter's bubble. You got Peter, you got a cause. Boom. Peter's bubble. CNN's like the economy crashed and it's Peter bubble. Peter bubble. The Peter bubble. So actually this, this Peter's, Peter's bubble scene was

intercut with, with Kenya and Cynthia. So while Peter is acting like, you Mercedes-Man and inviting Todd to go to this Charlotte club opening and Todd's like, yeah, it sounds sweet. Kenya then invites Cynthia to join. And Cynthia's like, but what would I get out of that? Why would I go to my ex's club opening, like how pathetic is that? Which then means, of course, that she's going to go because if there's an opportunity to be pathetic, Cynthia's going to take it. Yeah, she's going to go look as good as possible. So Peter can look like an idiot begging for her back.

And then she can have some self confidence. Well, that's, and that's a thing. I did not take that into consideration because I was like, wow, she's just going to do something totally pathetic. And I realized, oh, wait a second. No, this is a very old trick She's she's a super model. Sometimes I forget. She's a super model And she's gonna walk in every mind-beater by the way you were married to a super model and you fucked it up Bye. Yeah enjoy your teenagers who are probably making out with you right now during this Yeah, the best part for me was just Todd going whoa man Yeah, the best part for me was just Todd going, whoa, man, whoa. He was just so excited to see a car and I was like, girl, don't you even try it.

Candy will cut your hands off. Yeah, exactly. As evidenced by the next scene when Todd starts picking out outfits for the Club 1 opening. And I mean, honestly, it's Club 1. This is not the Oscars. It's not the Golden Globes. This is the Club 1. I mean, hell, this ain't even Club Two.

It's one. It's like the lowest on the Club Total Bowl. It's the most remedial version of the club. It's one. And Warner Unit, okay, telling one. Yes. So Todd's began to have fit and one of them has a bow tie. And I love, Ken, he's like, see?

Nah, Todd. The bow time makes you look like you're gonna sell beanpies. They did look like little webster goes to debate camp suits. Yeah. They're very tiny little suits. And he's like, well, I wish I could go, but I've got the candy convention. She's like, I got the candy convention. And a million better things to do than go to Club One.

See? Peter. For Todd, she wonders why he doesn't watch his nuts anymore. Then basically, this whole scene is sort of like, well, I still have to sell Dildos because the Todd business is failing again. Yep, it pretty much, pretty much. Yeah, so Todd is on, you know, Todd,

if Todd can't make a business run, he's gonna keep candy-bizzy the old-fashioned way. Dirty balls and Instagram posts. So he's like, hey, babe, look at this Instagram post from this person, Dame Johnny, who's very important in today's episode. She's like, what? See? See? See, see, see,

no, John, I love this, see, what, John? You're a fan. So Johnny, we've met Johnny before in the past, and he had a pretty prominent role in Candian Todd's Wedding Spin-Off show because he was the wedding planner. He's assistant to slash wedding planner.

And this Instagram post is a picture of Johnny with the whole candy factory team. And the caption is, this was before I had to separate the real from the fake. Some people only use you when they can benefit you once the benefit stops. So does the loyalty. First of all, that grammar is terrible. Johnny. Um, and second, are you crazy? You know, the have you heard that candy has gone fucking crazy.

The season sure we're up your head off. Yeah. So she's like, also she's candy. Mean. It was a through, it was like a three-squill growl special. It's like, is there an old car coming in? It was like Grover realizing that the tea is done all at the same time. It's like, I, I dude because he worked for her wedding planner, all this stuff. And she's like, he, but he kept dropping the ball.

But I still liked him and he started his own business and I still use his business and stuff. So, um, you know, I mean, it seems, of course, Candy, I always think Candy is so nice. So I'm, I'm shocked in any episode that she goes hair on somebody. Right. Well, I think that she's nice, but she is not a pushover. She does not like when people take advantage of her. I think that she's actually pretty generous. I think she's actually overly generous with her employees.

She does treat them like family, which is not that you shouldn't do your employees like that, but sometimes they are, it seems like they're able to say things and do things that I think most employees are not allowed to do. They get certain privileges, whatever is leeway. Anyway, but the candy, as you said, I really like Johnny. He just dropped the ball and as an assistant, it didn't work out, but I was really happy to support his event planning career, et cetera.

So as soon as he put, as soon as we saw this photo, we know that this guy is going to be shady and that he's up to no good because this is Candy Burrs. I mean, you just can't go up against Candy Burrs. You know, the whole reason why he probably became a system was because he wanted to be on TV. So we know how this works. And this guy's so stupid because he posts his Instagram post right before he goes to work for her at this Dildo event or what yeah, and it's not just like a tea party This is an actual convention with like lots of people coming a lot of moving parts

This is a big get for a 24-year-old an event planning thing. And by the way, in case you never saw this show before, Johnny, event planners who go up against real housewives always lose. Who gonna check you, Boo? They never win. That's so true. I don't think there's been one that's ever won. So she goes into the hole and plus and she starts talking about the Porsche and charade lunch at Porsche and she's like, now she's leaning towards frack. Don't play me. I was like, oh no. Mm-hmm.

Made poor. Fadre frack. You know, when she prays it, she's like, dear Jesus, please take care of the black Panthers and all of my security team. And please let me be frick for just once in my life. I'm gonna be fricking. She will always be fracked once your frack does no turning back.

Once you go frack, go back, go back. Speaking of Porsche, she's in her house and she's moving out because she's got to be out. She probably ran out of money. Yeah, her ass is probably being evicted. She's like, please don't shoot the big she own signs. It's like this not spammy. She's looking at pictures. Her brother, Hosea, comes over to help her pack and we learn that she's moving back with her mom. And for some reason, the editors decided to illustrate this with a flashback. And I'm convinced the only reason why they decided

to have this flashback to her mom inviting her to move back in was to show Porosha walking in with a little shoebox and dropping it on the floor. She's like, hey, mom, oh no! And get tumbles out of her hands. I think they just wanted to show it to Porsche dropping something. I think they probably have like 30 stock video clips of Porsche trying to move into Romance house. Yeah. Because Porsche has been out of a home quite a bit and they've

probably just got one from every season. Yeah. They could probably call her mom at this point and be like, which clip of letting Porsche live in your house do you want us to use the one with the red blouse or the flower glass? Well, I like also that when Porsche is reflecting on her house that she's leaving, she's like, she's like, you know, I'm going to do me because I wanted to, you know, take some time for me and do, you know, focus on myself and my work and all my hard things and inspiration. And all you see is a picture of her is is footage of her playing a portrait of herself above the fireplace.

She also says, I love this crib because this was about inspiring myself. Like inspiring yourself to make money to be able to afford the crib which you are now moving out of because you can't afford it. With the help kind of thought process is that? I love Portia's thoughts. I love them too. And I like that she's declaring that moving on to the next, to back to her mom's houses, it's going to be a new Porsche.

I'm like, you have a new Porsche every four episodes. Yeah. And they all crazy. This scene began with a song which is odd because the songs don't really illustrate what's going on on this show usually But this one's like I I have a revelation. I'm like no Porsche has never had a revelation. Okay Yeah, get that song out of here. But yeah, she based this whole thing was basically about her mom came over and packed all of her stuff for her

But she left whipped cream on the table because her boyfriend was helping her. And so Portia is worried about the sex that her mom had with the whipped cream or something. Yes. And then she like splurts it really, you know, flaccidly into this thing. And she's like, that's just real and all the mad dreams. Well, the sins of the mother are then later committed by the daughter. But anyway, before we get there, speaking of sins, there's a sin against, I don't know, fashion, because we then go to our next scene where Shirae shows up at a publishing house,

dressed like she's in witness protection. She's got big sunglasses, her mama Joyce wig, which looks really witty. You know, it's like, it's not just that like, oh, it's a different hairstyle, it looks like a wig from Target. And then she's wearing some crazy, crazy, I think perhaps Asian inspired jumpsuit, I could be wrong. Whatever it was, it was a bonkers look. Yeah, it really was. That wig is so wiggy. It looks like she put curlers in her hair and then put the wig on top of that just to go out it's like you can wear a scarf okay yeah and then it's originally like a long hair wig and then she just took some scissors and just and cut stuff off so she's going to see her publisher Selena James and she goes in and Selena's like how should I It's so good to see like so, you know, like overly.

I don't want to say fake because she's just being nice, but like overly nice. And so they talk about this. They're talking about this, but she's like, it is so good to have you. And she really went like this. She becomes Bluto from Labyrinth. And Sirei went like this. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa So, Saray has written a tell-all, which is just hilarious because she's like, now, you know, I have tea. And who would write the juiciest novel of the year? Besides, me, with tea, me with tea. Tea for me, me for tea. We know it's not the song. So we get to see the cover of it. It's like the longest title of all times, it's like.

Waves, fiancees, and sad chicks. And also, other people can't afford. And AR mattresses of Atlanta. I felt bad for this woman, this publisher, because she actually looked like a perfectly lovely woman. She seemed reasonably smart. And you know, she was like, you know, I went to Wesleyan for four years.

I put in my time in the publishing industry and this is my big break. And it's to publish wives, fiancees, and side chicks of a hot Atlanta. And now I've got to pretend like this is the next time wolf. I had to transcribe this whole thing from Siri text that you sent me. Because you know, Surrey's like, boob boob, nah. And then I told that page. Every chapter is like, you got

electric? Chapter three. You got electric. Chapter four. You got this for very sweet. What do you think? Very you must sweep one of your sink chapter seven Fenya for Have a dirt floor. Yeah, she's talking about how it's kind of her because the who's who of Atlanta is my life and They were around me. So they were characters in my life This is this is what you call like spilling the tea that no one even realized was still in the cup. Yeah, it's no care about moldy tea. You're like, oh, we already got some new tea. Oh, is that film on the top of my glass? Oh, look, we left the tea cup back here. Oh, oh, I spilled it. Let's just we can wipe it up. I don't care There's like a line halfway down the cover. Just like a stain line. Oh my goodness. I like to say it's like, no, I knew I was writing this book.

I'm like, yeah, that's probably because you didn't write it. It's probably a ghost writer. I like novel form because I can make reality, but then I can advise. I'm not going to suit. I'm getting in my house. I'm getting electric. You know once that book is available, I'm going to download it and we're going to read passages off of it on this podcast. You know that, right? We have to.

Is that how we should do that? I can look. I'll look right now on my phone. I don't think it's probably, although it'd be smart if they put it out. I'm going to look on Amazon. And I want to know what her name is in the book, because I don't think she ever says her name. She said that there's another character in it.

She says, there's a character named Paris. And I'm like, Paris, really? I mean, you talk about what a stripper hoe Paris was and you will get sued by the wrong people. Like, don't name your fake characters after other famous people. Yeah, okay. Wives, fiance, and side chicks of hotlanta.

It is there's a pre order. It's going to be available at the end of this month. So yes, I will be. I will be downloading this for sure. Yeah, we're in for sure. So she talks about how she's written this character name. Paris. And she's like, they have what I would describe.

I loveate relationship. And then they show a flashback clip of Mimi stripping going, whee! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder

's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon.

Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. She will see you.

She will see you and I can't wait for that storyline. Yeah. And as Shere is like talking about the literary virtues of this book that poor publisher just looked so bored. I see. She was really ready to get into like, I don't know, like writing for commercials, you know. She's like, I think it's time to start publishing commercial copy. Yeah, I think so. So then we go to the bedroom candy convention. And it's, you know, typical sort of nothing stuff. Candy and Kwame and the whole team are there.

Carmen and Don Juan. They're looking at Candy's talking about it. Sarah Macon Mare. And then there's a, I did love that when Candy was introduced to the first ever bedroom candy, same sex couple toy. And she was like, see now what? And the woman's like, oh, well, this one goes in this vagina. And then this one goes in the other vagina.

And Candy's like, see now what? And the woman's like, oh, well, this one goes in this vagina, and then this one goes in the other vagina. And can you say, oh yeah! Oh! Can we talk about this, X-Toy? It looks like, it's safe, like a big rubber, like swirly gun, right?

It's like a gun, but if it were written in the font that Sheree's book title was, it's like kind of a curly font. Okay, so it's like a gun but if it were written in the font that charade's book title was it's like kind of a curly font okay so it's like one dildo that points out like the gun and then the other one like curls under that one like the trigger so how does one go in you and the other one goes in the other person if they're both facing you I'm so confused I have this dildo I don't know to me it just look like one half of a perfect pull up a bar you. I'm so confused how this dildo. I don't know. To me, it just looked like one half of a perfect pull up bar. I think they just, someone's just coming candy.

I just like, saw it off one half of it. And I was like, yeah, I just dig this in your badge. Yeah, because I already have double dildos. This is like a weird one where I think it gets your butt and your, I don't know. You know, this is what we always get in trouble. When we try to talk about female anatomy, this is when we're like, oh, you know this is what we always get in trouble when we try to talk about female anatomy This is when we're like oh you know on your stand cuz isn't the vagina by the shoulder blade?

How's it reach How are you gonna breathe if you're vagina's full? Not your lungs I just trust that it works and that is pleasurable. Okay. I'll trust it to you So I just are all the ladies selling she calls them her consultants This is a show where she's showing all this stuff to the yes So is this like a Mary K Like pyramid scheme type business where I don't think I build up parties at their house and then the lady under you

Make you like you'll always make money off the deal does that she sells kind of thing. I don't think it's a pyramid scheme. I think it's, but I do think it's pattern after that. Ava on that brand of, yeah, where you, excuse me, I'm like burping in my Starbucks. It's where you're marketing, if you will. Yeah, yeah, you go and network marketing is that what you said? Yeah, that's where you're like, oh, no, oh, friend and we're just gonna have a party but with Dildos bring your friends And they're like oh my god and everybody giggles and then one lady's like I can do this

And you're like you will earn the giant pink Dildo car if you sell more than a hundred thousand dollars in a month Yeah, I think it's probably something where you're encouraged to then you gather women together And you have a party You show up all the benefits you try to sell them to merchandise that way and then you probably get some sort of bonus If you can sign someone else up into the army and then they go they host their parties And you know the more parties that you that you host more stuff you sell the more it contributes the overall empire the more money that you get and So it's probably funny. No pyramid scheme would a pyramid scheme would be that there's nothing there to begin with. A pyramid scheme is asking you to buy in.

So it's like, you're gonna put in five bucks. Oh, you put in five bucks and you're gonna get this return, but you have to then recruit three people and have them give you five bucks. It's like everyone's putting in more and more money and eventually the bottom falls out, which is sort of some retro ponzy scheme. Well, I mean, you said the bottom falls out, which is very candy coated night. Yeah. I mean, I mean, it's a dildo. And then you ask falls out. Yeah. Now, I mean,

yeah, it's basically at some point, the yonni egg just drops out and cracks on the floor. Yeah. I mean, there's no, I mean, obviously CandyCoded nights, whatever. They CandyCoded Empire could fall apart once the Army revolt, but I don't think it's inherently a pyramid scheme. Pyramid schemes capitalize off of things like the Avaan structure, I imagine. And that's what makes up pyramid scheme work, because people believe they see something like something like the A-von, A-von ladies or whatever that equivalent are these days. And the people, Rodan and Fields, people are making money doing that. And they're like, oh, well, this is a similar thing, but you would make even more money. Anyway, this is

a nice little lecture. Look, it's a nice little lecture. It's a case in. It's so free. By the way, it's not for selling dildos for candy. Yeah. So anyway, while this after this is all happening, they go to look into a conference, they're looking at a conference room or something's going to happen and who comes walking up, but

the social media may have been Johnny, former assistant, and he comes up and can he's like, say, now Johnny, we have a word from old man. And she pulls Johnny aside and is like, what's up with that Instagram post you did, especially because I just hired you to this big event. And she goes, separate the real from the pink because now I'm confused about this, especially since I paid you money.

It's like, I don't know. It's like, I don't know. The moanie excited of candy is coming out. She's about to throw a TV at precious his head girl. Run. Run. So basically we hear from what we hear from Johnny in between his sort of like nervous stammering and candy basically biting his head off is he was upset because when he was let go, Don Juan is the one who let him go. And it wasn't that Candy sent him down

and had a conversation. So he was upset because he felt like they were closer and that they had a relationship and yada, yada, yada. Which is- And Candy's response is hilarious. He's like, well, let's get this straight. You put your side business first and since it was a side business it was dawn once dropped to fire you. It's like, uh, yeah. Now admittedly, I think probably the nicer thing would have been if candy fired him. Like if candy was if they if he was working for like four years, it probably would have been nicer if candy said something.

But we also don't totally know the circumstances of why he was fired. And I think that candy was, I have anything I actually believe that candy was shielding him because she didn't get into the details. And who knows what it was, but ultimately, well, it would have been nicer for candy to be the one or to be part of that conversation when he got fired. She didn't have to be. It was Don Juan's responsibility. And this guy is just being super sensitive. He's being like a millennial. Yeah, he's totally like what and she said

Well, I don't care. I paid you and he's like yes, but was the pay Worth what I was doing she goes if you didn't think that it was worth it then you still took the pay So you said yes and agreed to it by taking the pay which is totally true You know, I get that candy is probably a cheap ass. I mean, she probably is. Let's face it. I mean, we all saw the clips. Those are we saw the clips of employers, Mama's love for whatever the hell that was.

I mean, that looks like it was made with $5. So we know she's cheap, but, you know, she's also giving you a job and paying you almost nothing because it's like an in. I guess it would be looked at it kind of like a paid intern thing Where she's like here's all this experience that you get for me for working for very little money Well, yeah, I mean and also I mean the truth was that Johnny started in on this whole, you know I thought we had a relationship I thought this and where's the loyalty and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and that's when and then and then he said you know don't you think that for what you were paying me that like don't you think I was worth more or something along those lines that's

when she said yeah but I was paying you so you know you accepted that so that's what it was if you wanted more money you should have said something. And she's like, and if you didn't like the top, bridge won't you ask for your drawback? I call no monster candy monster candy. And so she started yelling at him and she's like, well, you are never getting another check from me. You can call me a bitch, but you can't call me fake. So go away because you're not getting any more of my fake money. Goodbye.

Yeah, she's like, well, he, but he's going to get a man. Not the chick for me. Okay. Not man. Not man. Not man. Which actually remember, we actually talked about this line word man about nine months ago on this podcast.

Oh, that's why I knew what it meant. I was like, whoa, I actually know what that word means. I don't know how, but I did. I was like, you got me. I was like, what you said that I was like, man, we talked about that. I know what that means. It's like, not man, not man, not the check, not man, not that. But this guy's an idiot too, honestly, because she, if he's trying to get his event thing

off the ground, the fact that he has, he can cite candy bursts as a satisfied client. It's actually a really big deal. That's a big deal. I think especially, I would imagine Atlanta, it's even even bigger deal. But that's probably worth more than, you know, a few hundred bucks, you know, when you're 23, right? If you're, you think, the guy's young. Even if he's 28, it's a big deal to, it's a crowded industry and to have candy burrs a celebrity a very successful woman as As someone who you plan to wedding for and several events that you should be You should be thanking someone you should be kissing someone's ass I just feel like in general people should be able to take visual cues and just know when to back down

I mean this guy is talking to cany she's just had a baby Q's and just no one to back down. I mean this guy is talking to Kenny. She's just had a baby. She's got one of those I dream of Jeannie hair pieces this down to the floor. I mean that's heavy. So you know she got a headache. It's like pulling out her roots and She's wearing one of her ballgowns, you know, and her boobs are so tight up against this ballgown that there's veins coming out like she's the Hulk Like she's mid midway to turning into Hulk. Johnny, now it's not the time. Spend this time and do something productive. Like shave that go T, that needs to go. It looks ridiculous. Yeah, now listen, you wanted a conversation with Candy

and guess what, you finally got one. Anton National TV and made you look like a jackass. Good luck with your business. Yeah, and just like a true stupid person, he doesn't know when to quit, which we'll get back to later. Which is why he then gets fired. Stupid, stupid Johnny. So then we get a little scene with Portia boning Todd and her mom's house with her cream. And I liked it. She's where she's sneaking

him in. She's got the whipped cream stuff. She's in a little negligee or whatever And he's like can we just do it? She's like no We gotta know each other better like you just Do you think that anybody is believing that you brought this hot man over to your house covered him in whipped cream and are wearing nothing like rubbing your Vagia against him and you didn't give it up. Oh, Porsche. Yeah. And then you show the Yani egg to come on now. Yeah. I mean, Porsche, we want you to vote him. Please, he's adorable. This is the best guy you've ever brought onto the show. He says, I love you. And he's into you and he's got a gorgeous smile. Just this is the one you got to lock down. Not Duke. No kidding. Get that egg out of your vagina

and get some sperm inside of it so you can get pregnant girl. This is your chance. Put Duke in an elevator and send him up to the floor above Moramax. That's about it. Yes, girl. This is the donor. Get that sperm. So next is charayet bob at a workout place. And I have to say, I have to interrupt right now. Whoever came up with the genius idea of making Sheré would feel do parkour deserves a raise over Bravo. That's hilarious. Like, what should we have Sheré do? How about we have Sheré do parkour?

Genius. It's basically like run around your unfinished house. Like get over those stairs without getting a splinter. Now, now she actually, she actually unfinished beam to unfinished beam. She missed some good opportunities to shade more manner because she could have, she could be like, this is like moment. Yeah, jump over a rubble. Take block hard, just get into Kenya's house.

You got baseball. So she's at the workout place with Bob, which look, I get, she's saying, Bob wants me? He better drop 50 plus. So she's gonna make him thin, so she'll date him again. This guy walks in and immediately start sweating. He's like, what is this? She goes, yeah.

You gotta work out. And he goes, well, she goes, you said you were gonna get healthy and he said, yeah, she goes, you want, you said you were going to get healthy. And he said, yeah, but I meant pills and shakes. He is, he is a big man. And he gets, I mean, this poor guy, he walking is probably walking is a big deal for him, I think. And then to, to come into a blaze and be like, okay, now he's how to do tricky walking. He probably was like, oh, come on now. I'm kidding.

I'm like, I's cross side. Why would you make him aim for beams? I mean, the poor thing, it's like a broken knee waiting to happen. And the first exercise is, okay. Now, climb up onto that 20 foot ledge and then jump. Don't do that. What are you doing? A for all lines.

And B. Mee's. Don't do that, Bob. I know. And the safety method. like, don't do that. What are you doing? A phone lines and B. Mee's. Don't do that to Bob. I know. And the safety map that you had to jump on to was like the size of three pieces of paper. It was so thin. I was like, this is not going to protect poor Bob. Oh my God, the poor guy. Yeah, Bob going to die. Someone posted a picture on our Facebook. And it says, most people have underarm sweat. Bob has overarm sweat. Yeah, that was an older sweat. But I will, I give Bob a pass this time because in this case,

he was actually there to do exercise. You know, usually what happens is he starts having the overarm sweat when he's like sitting on a chair talking to Shere. In this case, he actually was jumping off of ledges. So I give him a pass. He jumped off of one. I mean, he walked from his car inside and he jumped off a ledge. I mean, I would say that's worth a good 100 calories or so. He actually did better than Sheree because she was trying to jump from bar to bar

and she missed it and she's like, Motto! Did you know that Bob went to Stanford? Uh-uh. Isn't that surprising? No. And oddly enough, I didn't even hear her say that in this. Did she know that Bob went to Stanford? Uh-uh. Isn't that surprising? No. And oddly enough, I didn't even hear her say that in this. Did she say that?

No, I just looked up. I decided during this parkour scene, I wanted to learn more about Bob, like when he played football, etc. And I saw he went to Stanford. So he's, he's got to be, you know, he's probably more, well, I just mean he's more intelligent, but he's probably sharper than he comes off as. Yeah, well, I'm sure he's sharper than he comes off as cause I mean, he doesn't come off as far as you sharp. He's just like this big cross-eyed, sweaty guy.

He's just like a big guy who falls off of the lures. Yeah, I'm pretty much. It's like a speaking of people for Stanford, speaking of people who come off as less sharp than the impure. Let's go to Fadre who's sitting in her office being a lawyer with a capital L. She's lawyering and Johnny, the assistant shows up in the office and I love how fake page is because her little receptionist goes into her office and is like, there's a Johnny so and so for you and she's like, hello, Eric, how are you? I'm like, it's your

receptionist. You already saw him today. Why are you acting like this is your long lost cousin? Well, this Eric guy is 10 years old and he's wearing like a little private school suit. He is so young and like, Faith, I can't go through with this case because she does the same damn thing as Gandhi. You think he's getting paid a real wage? No. That kid is definitely interning or working for experience. I mean, come on. He's like, and a little suit is mop bottom at least 10. So we already know where this suit's going to go. So Johnny comes in and she goes, John, you know, I don't know your government name. That was funny.

That was funny. Fadres, like, he just dropped in. He's not on my I-Cal. Like, Fadres never has droppings. That is definitely a dropping clinic. That's like a free clinic where you're like, I got the flu, what should I do? Yeah, I feel like,

I feel like, aadres I-Cal is what Heidi Montag's Ical was like 10 years ago when she started working at a for Brent bulltouse. I don't know if you were or a Phil's to vote. Hey, but there was a famous scene where Heidi gets a job and she gets to her job and on her calendar, it was like a month full of it said 8 a.m. Go to work. 5 p.m. Go it said 8 a.m. go to work, 5 p.m. go home, 8 a.m. go work, 5 p.m. go home for every single day of the week. That's what

the Fatress calendar looks like. All right, well, here's the first thing. Just sit here for nine hours. Okay, the second thing. So Fadre is complimenting his suit. And he's like, he's so sharp. He looks like he's ready to meet Jesus. So, he comes in and he whispers like Riley or basically anyone who's around Candy a lot except for Don Juan and you know her immediate family, but like Have you noticed that everybody who's around Candy has a whisper voice? Both of her daughters have it and now this Johnny has it. He's like, well, I wanted to know about my rats and Possibly a lawsuit and he gets a little devilish smile and see the sign. Now normally Johnny and

Candy a closer than two butt cheeks. I just love everything that Fadra says even though it's all a lie and She's a fake phony hoe who's probably trying to ruin lives for fun I still love her. I can't help it and I love that she's always so well done up. I mean her hair. Wow. She is nice. I She had a little Chanel Pin it wasn't really I wasn't I wasn't a brooch. I don't think but it was she had a big Chanel thing on her around her neck Yeah, so she's trying to get the info from him about this thing and she's like did you leave on your own accord? And he's like, no, I take a bus. I was like, were you terminated? No, I don't like action movies. No, dear, were you fired? I'm actually vegetarian, so I had to stay away from now, sort of establishments.

No more. It's got hurt for me. So he's like, well, I was the event manager and she's like, Oh, yes, I remember you at the wedding. You were the chauffeur, the manager, the animal trainer, the caterer. You're regular Mr. Benson. Mm hmm. Yeah, I'm just Bentley Benson. So Johnny is now doing his woe is me thing. He's like, I was getting paid

five hundred dollars for a week and I was putting in 80 plus hours. I had to do a bomb of care. My please, Johnny, I don't believe any of this. I don't believe him at all. I mean, I believe that he probably had to work hard, but I don't think I, you know, I, I, I, I smell bullshit. And maybe that's because I'm biased to loving candy bursts But I honestly totally foolish it anyone who agrees to work for a certain amount of money. That's what you work for we've done it I mean hell we still do it you work for what you're paid for okay? There's not there's not a wedding planner slash caterer slash animal trainer union, okay? Yeah. Also, by the way, I used to, I mean, I remember being a PA back in the day and you put in long, long, long, long weeks when you're a PA and you get like, you want to get pulling in after taxes

and all that stuff, like $600, $500, $600 a week. That's what happens when you're an assistant. Yeah. Sorry. You build up your resume and you get a better job She's like she running a factory over there. They run in a plantation So Johnny Johnny's like well I thought that we were business partners because one time we were like I like lunch and then she was like I like lunch too and he's like I want to make a place to go eat lunch She's like me too, and then I hear she's open in a restaurant with Todd And he's like, I want to make a place to go eat lunch. He's like me too. And then I hear she's open in a restaurant with Todd. I'm like, okay. So you're going to

try and sue her for money that she makes with the old lady gang because you like French fries. Is that your argument, sir? I'm like, Johnny, you are 12 years old. She's Candy Burris. She's massively successful. You're not gonna be her business associate. I'm sorry, you're an assistant slash event planner. She's happy to throw you business and help you grow, but you're not gonna start open a restaurant with her. They probably went to a restaurant. He was probably like, I like this.

We should open up a restaurant and she probably's like, yeah, that'd be fun. Okay, I'll just humor this guy for a moment. And then he shows her a spot and she's probably like, oh, yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, I like, I think you should follow that dream or whatever. And he, all the time, he thinks that she is on board. And she has no intention because she has her other plans.

And I actually don't believe that she got the idea to open for restaurant because of Johnny. I think Todd already had his plans. And they're probably inspired of anything from Dumb Peter, which is why they're opening up their dumb restaurant. So I'm not, Matt I'm not new inspires you. Okay. Chris, the alley inspires me to eat intonement.

Like I don't try and make her run around the block when I get too fat. It doesn't make any sense. I share would like you to do that because I think her's the alley. I'm ready for a curse the alley. Come back and unfortunate way Hollywood is she's going to need to run around the block. Oh, she will. She is, I mean, she's got my game down. Like she can gain 100 and lose 100 and get both in a month, you know? Do you know that when I was a PA back in the day, I was on a I was a PA on a TV show and one of the writers worked on Veronica's closet and they said that for a Christmas gift, Kristie Alley bought everyone a pet bird.

I was almost like, uh, what do I do with this bird? That is so Kristie Alley. That is so hard. And then they're stocking, she gave a mustard for when they finally get sick of listening to the fucking thing. I actually, I love Kristie Alley. And I think she has a gift, believe it or not, I think she actually has a comedic gift.

And if you don't believe me, go back and watch Cheers because the Rebecca Howe character, wow, what she was able to do, how she filled in the shoes of Miss Shelley Long, and that is not easy to do. Yeah, I agree. I love her. And I love all of her terrible shows that come out to you. She's very funny in all of them.

Yeah. So basically, Fadre with this Johnny guy is like she kind of scratches the edge of her bun, which is really weird to watch her do because like there's no skin under there. But she's like kind of slowly scratching her bun and she goes, now I don't want to be part of this madness because our relationship has changed and this isn't my area of expertise anyway. Now when you're ready to call me out into the parking lot with a suitcase full of cash to defend your marijuana business. Yeah. If you decide to become a stripper, then we can talk. Now once candy has killed you, I will fill your body up with some liquid and bury you for a very low rate.

Yeah. But until her specialty is everything but what he does. She's like, no, I'm not going up against candy. I'll find you a lawyer who will buy. Yeah. I think she was like, that was one of the smart things that Fetra has done, which is she recognized that going up against candy would A, it probably would not pan out because this kid probably does not have a case.

B, even if he did have a case, she knows the candy is really smart about things and probably has covered her tracks really, really, really well. C, she's just gonna get embroiled in nastiness and as much as she and Candy are not getting along, this is actually would be a terrible thing to do. Yeah, see, I see. She's just like, I am not Pennywap.

And I don't want anything to do with Candy or these old ladies, people in the streets. Yeah, that was pretty funny. Because Candy does have a lot of these characters around her at this point. But yeah, she just was like, I just want to hear the gossip and then you can go on your merry way. Johnny, I can get a Todd digger too in there. And I like that she's still digging it Todd, but leaving

Candy alone because you know that she's correct. And in a few years, they're going to have a nice long montage of all the things that Todd has failed at. And she's just going to sit there going, mm-hmm. Okay, so next up we're in Charlotte, can you and Synthene, Synthene, oh my goodness. The Charlotte, Synthene orchestra. Suddenly Synthea is like talented and interesting. So it is talented. I do think that she's talented as being a model. I just don't think that she's always interested. That's not a talent.

I think it is. Well, I mean, I'll give you that, because why argue about it? I mean, have you never seen America's next-time model? You can't just be pretty. You can't just be pretty. Oh, my God. You got a smile. Anyhow, so it's Charlotte. Cynthia has arrived because, of course, she's not going to miss

an opportunity to show up looking amazing at Peter's stupid club. And so she and Kenya arrived at their hotel room and within moments Matt started sending these crazy texts. And what we learned is that Peter had invited Matt to come to this opening because I guess Peter just has no friends in Charlotte or whatever. So he invites Matt and paid for the ticket and to Peter's credit, yes, he did run it by Kenya first, but to Peter's discredit, it's like, dude, what is wrong with you? You know, he violates

so many sort of, it's not a broke code or a female. It's just, you know, he still, he remains friends with Apollo after Apollo goes to jail. Like there's just, which I think is, and don't forget. He just does the original, the bitch, the one that Amini said, start trying to be a bitch because he has like

the original male shitster in the show. He's always trying to get the ladies fighting or start fights with the ladies. He's always picking the side of the abusive conflict or whatever. Always like without fail. But that said, I mean, Peter ain't going to change. You know, you can't, I'm breaking egg and whatnot. But Kenya, not even a Yani egg. Portia will probably be the first one to ever break a Yani egg. By the way, it's a Yani egg. I don't know. I'm saying Yani because we talked about a yawning egg. Once you've imagined yawning coming out of

Portia's vagina with a flute, like it doesn't just go away with playing a synthesizer. Yeah. So, yeah. So, Kenya is the worst though. I mean, Peter's gross, but Kenya's the worst because this is what Kenya does. She's like, okay, Matt's the worst because Matt has to be bought a ticket to even come in town. That is so pathetic. Okay. Find someone to try and get a job. He's always flying everywhere and other people are always paying for it. It's like, is my dad giving you Southwest miles? How are you doing this? So anyway, Peter bought him a ticket to come back in. Kenya said it was okay, but then she decided, no, it's probably not a good idea.

So she tells Peter to cancel his ticket. So Peter does cancel his ticket. And he goes any way that the airport and then goes on social media and it's like, tells her off on social media, which he does all the time, you know. Right, and I think we discussed this when we had our tune in show, perhaps,

I don't know, I don't remember, but we definitely discussed, when Matt posted this on social media, we definitely talked about it. It was such a ridiculous fight. Yeah, we read all of his all of his stuff and of course, you know, he can barely talk. So it's like, it's like a word jumble, basically if Matt telling her off, but she's she's telling she's reading Cynthia the text and it's like I will make it my business I promise you on every fiber of your being like what does that sentence even me

I promise you on every fiber of your being no. Yeah, no, no, it's not yeah You will regret it flip with another guy you will regret it come back to be Hubble with open arms So he's just officially abusive in Kuku now. He is, he is. And I do believe that Kenya has played mind games with him and that he is definitely, you know, some poor sap in a 1980s film noir for sure, like a body heat or last reduction from 94.

But he is also, by the way, abusive and crazy. And I did think it was funny that the reason why she told Peter to disinvite Matt was she was afraid that her should be arguing with Matt at the party and she just didn't want to ruin Peter's opening night. I'm like, I don't think you and Matt would ruin the opening night. I think probably like the massive number of health code violations at Club One would ruin the night. The rancid chickens fingers will kill the night. Okay. Yeah. I think the lack of air conditioning will ruin the night.

So anyway, she ends up doing it. She wasn't going to do it, but she ends up going Cynthia comes in and Peter's like, Oh my God, you look amazing. Well, but we have to I just want to say one thing though that despite all this Matt has decided he has hopped into his car and now he's just going to drive to Charlotte instead. So he's actually driving up there. Oh God. This is a guy after doing a after doing an Instagram from the airport where he's like, guess who canceled my plate ticket.

That's right. Kid you're more manipulative me in the coming of the airport. Now I've manipulated and used it in. Yeah, that was stupid man. So yeah, so now it's the club one party and I interrupted you when you were setting it up. So you go, you go back to set up. Well, it was, it's pretty easy.

I mean, Kenya was going to not come. She ended up coming. Todd is the first one there. He's like, whoa, man, dope. This place is dope. A lot. And he goes, Todd actually goes, he's like, man, I hope that OLG can just be a fraction of what club one is. I'm like, please, but a sake of your customers. No, you don't want it to be like that. And by the way, it's supposed to be your restaurant, not a club. How are those even in the same genre of places to go in? It is so good.

How about next time you make a restaurant that's like under a highway, then it'll be more like club one. So Cynthia comes in and Peter's like, what are you doing here? He's all classy as usual. And she's like, well, you didn't invite me or whatever. And I thought, Oh, God, is Cynthia stealing Neenie's story? Because Cynthia can't do a damn thing on her own. And it would figure that she's relying on Neenie when Neenie's not even there anymore. Is she going to divorce Peter and then Peter's going to have this romance

to get her back? And then she's going to get her own goddamn wedding spin off at a gas station or something. That was nervous. She probably just showed up because she heard that be a kitchen island. She could talk to someone around. She's like, well, I heard that you bought a car. I got a call from Amex. No, wait, I'm sorry. It was a hood ornament.

Did you buy a hood ornament from Mercedes for your Toyota? It seems a little strange. Nope. That was speed hood ornament. Did you buy a hood ornament from Mercedes for your Toyota? It seems a little strange. Nope. That was speed of three. Yeah, but she basically says, hey, next time, you should loop me in. And he's like, I didn't want to call you because I didn't want it to be, I figure

everybody even said he said it didn't want to be weird or he didn't want it. He didn't want to seem desperate or who knows what. But and she was like, I feel back. Cynthia is so eager to seem mature and to remain friends. And she just has to just ditch this guy, you know, so it's he's not Leon. She can't be mature with him. Yeah.

So can you decides to be professional by showing up like hours late? Like, kind of those would even time she got there. She's like, this is a professional booking. I'm like, you're not presenting at the Golden Globes, okay? Yeah, Andrew, the last one there. So she's like, I'm a professional. So Matt is waiting in the parking lot. And he comes like bounding up to the car.

And she's like, sir, this man is dangerous. I'm like, Kenya, if you want a security guard, get a security guard. Don't make the guys from Uber do it. They didn't sign up to put their lives in danger for you, fool. It's not a cop. Oh gosh, yeah, Matt comes up. He's like, can you, I want to talk to you?

And then there was like shaky camera. And it's like, sir, dangerous. I want to talk to you, can you? Yeah, I want to talk to you. And then all of a sudden, it's like a black black and then the driver's like, he hit me. He hit me. So he then he speeds off and Kenya's like, oh my god, I'm abused. And everyone's like, hmm, we feel less sorry for you than any abuse victim of all time.

Is that weird? Well, I mean, it's rude, but it's Kenya. Like it's a fine thing to say. And I'm sorry. And he is abusive and she needs to get rid of him. But if you've got a crazy guy that's obviously abusive, and you know he is, why are you fucking with the guy and telling him to come someplace

and then getting his plane ticket counseled at the last minute and doing all of this shit, are you crazy? Well, normally I would agree, but I think Matt has kind of crossed that line where it's no longer a situation of, well, they both are, they both are to blame. It's now pretty much on, it's on it. Like I think it's not crazy for her to call a parents, say, you know what?

I don't think Matt should be there. He's crazy. You know, and then he said, like I, I mean, I believe that she probably has played so many mind games. And now he's like, become a drenched lunatic. I do believe that he has now become, if this stuff was in him, she has awakened it. Okay, I don't feel that she is totally innocent. But at this stage, at this point, I'm less likely to do the blame the victim situation there. And I know you're not saying blame the victim. No, I'm saying you're saying they're both.

I mean, if she got beat up, if she got beat up for something, I wouldn't blame the victim. But at this point, yeah, I blame the victim. He's probably one. If he didn't have to drive up there, can you could have sent a text and said, look, I thought I was going to be okay with you being at Peter's thing But I really don't want the drama blah blah blah sorry in Texas, but instead she makes makes Peter do it And you know Peter didn't even call the guy He probably like Lord knows when he even found out his ticket was you know what though, but you know what though Peter Peter this was a situation between Peter and Matt and it's not up to Kenya to have to text Matt and say, I'm not comfortable, okay.

It would have been one thing if Kenya invited Matt originally and then said, you know what, actually, on second thought, no. But actually, this was a case where Peter invited Matt and then Peter said, actually, you know what, I would prefer not to. Of course, Kenya had influence over that decision, but ultimately, it's not up to her to have to send that text to Matt at all.

And the fact is that even if it was some crazy manipulation on her part, he drove up to Charlotte. That is actually craziness. Yeah, that's crazy. Crazyness. And even if you're trying to prove point like, oh, well, you can't, it might take it, well, guess what? Like, you can't have your way. In a different context, it would be empowering that he drove to Charlotte. In a different context, it would be empowering that he drove to Charlotte and a different context

would be like, ah, I showed you, you can't control me, but in this context, it was just pure crazy. And I think that he is now actually nuts. And in the previous for next week's class, he loves, he loves a shattered paint of glass. So, you know, yes, I mean, what the hell? Like what did that garage door ever do to him? He just keeps breaking the garage door. I'm telling you, he just needs,

they just need to make a little, like a version of a Pundry bag, except it's glass. And just put it in the corner, he just punched it over and over again. Well, by the way, if friends with Kenya, I would just send her some aluminum. Like this is how to make a garage door.

Well, either way, Peter calls up Matt. He's like, it's Peter here. Hey, Matt, what up Matt and he's like, it's Peter you. Hey Matt, what happened? And that's like, well, all I did was I put my face in the cock. They wanted to talk to Kenya and the driver rolled rolled the window up on my face. And so I just had to punch his bank ass face. I'm like, he rolled the window up on my neck. On my neck. I'm like, well, of course, like, I would do that too. If you, I mean, Matt's got a gigantic head. And he looked at his talk and had a side to his story, you know?

Kujo's like, well, there was a lady in her son sitting in a pinto and it was my house. And so I was like, by and then she rolled up her window. So I tried to murder them both. I mean, I think it's pretty reasonable for the driver to decide to roll up the window mat. Okay. And like, and even if it wasn't, I don't think I just think at that point, maybe you just start to like pull your head back and just leave the car.

Maybe draw back down to Atlanta. Why are you fighting with the driver anyway? This is also their bigger garage is a punch in. Okay. Bigger garage. You got to pick your battles. Okay. Uber driver, no. Garage door, maybe. The Uber driver's like, what I do? His garage is all broken. Damn it. Stupid Matt Camp aim properly. So anyway, the guys are telling me, it's like, yeah. But, you know, the guy, like,

here's the thing, like, my neck. And then, she made the update to me. And Peter's like, look, even I know when to leave it alone, okay? I still got a credit card he's like yeah and then he goes well they used to end the message to Harry tell Harry to leave me alone yeah you tell him Matt good one that guys well for the first time in his life or at least on Atlanta Peter actually has a good idea he tells both of them could roll off whatever it is

could roll just leave each other alone end end it. I was like, finally. Yeah, fucking Todd goes in there and of course takes the man's side, like always. He's like, well, where he's coming from, he just felt like maybe you manipulated the situation. He goes, I did not, so you didn't have anything to do with him coming here. Which, look, man, you're talking to a woman

and this is many of your business. Shut the fuck up. Okay. Well, I in my little, my liberal progressive thing, I don't believe in this thing that men can't talk about women stuff, but I will say he is inserting himself into something that does not involve him. And on top of that, I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if Kenya were totally doing a mind game with Matt being like, no, you should come like, who knows what texts were sent. But either way, they can't, they're toxic.

At the end of the day, whatever is to blame, is if Kenya's playing mind games, if Matt is volatile, they can't be together and Tasha just stay out of it. There are other bros to become friends with. Yeah. Okay, well that brings us to the end of the event. Yeah, well, basically at the end of the episode Cynthia and Peter walk out of the club and

Cynthia says to Peter you know I'm always gonna give props props where props are due. I'm like does this mean that Cynthia's gonna donate some plates And cops to this Club give the place needs some props. I got a plant. I can donate And Peter tries to sleep with her and she's like, sorry, bye. Yeah, she's like, well, this is awkward. So he leaves. Okay, so next up is top chef. Top chef. He's a nice and go. Yeah, here we are with some top chef. And I just want everybody to remember because it really struck me. The winner of last week's challenge, which was to cook an entire pig, which is not easy to make that taste.

I mean, it is. You throw in a smoker, but still, you would think that's difficult. The winner made mac and cheese with sour gum. So that's where we're at. That's where we're at this season. Yeah, that's where we're at. That's where we're at. So the quick fire was basically a, it was like a healthy quick fire challenge.

And essentially when the chefs walked in, the surgeon general was there. And what cracked me up was that like so many of them thought that he was a sailor, especially Casey Casey was like, ooh looks like we got a sailor from the Navy. I'm like that's the surgeon general you idiot Well, he was wearing a Desserts and generals wear that he was wearing do you not remember do you not remember Jocelyn elders or see every coop They had their little they have their uniforms now what show where they are?

You never saw Cooper elders elders a great cop show They go around investigating crimes teaching people about smoking and masturbation The biggest news to me in this whole episode was Jim the little gay guys not gay what this was a big this was a big shock He's like Because my wife is such a sweet lady. I may hurt and you know in China We got married there and she's the first person to tell me governor's love cheese. I was like what? I know that was a surprise twist That was a private twist. I have to say I mean

Surprise this is definitely a big surprise. Yeah, it was definitely a big surprise. So they their challenge was that they had to make a healthy version of a classic comfort food, right? Yes. And it had to be vegetarian on top of everything else. And then Jamie, who is the tatted up chef from South. I'm James. My kids are vegetarian.

My kids have been a vegetarian since he's been three. I'm like, what I hear is that? Well, I don't mind if you raise your child to be vegetarian. He says we raise our children. But the way he said it was as if the kid made a declaration at three years old that he wants to be a vegetarian. And I just, I just, it really bothered me. It just, it's like, it's the kid.

Like, you, you made him a vegetarian. You know, like, it's not like the kid made that declaration. It's a really, it just bothered me on a fundamental level. I was just like, it just sounded pretentious. That's what it was. It was just an element of pretension to it. I know, but the guys got like a flower tattoo on his throat. So it's like, are you pretentious. That's what it was. There's just an element of pretension to it. I know, but the guy's got like a flower tattoo on his throat.

So it's like, are you pretentious or are you not? I can't figure you out, Jamie. So this guy who had my pronounces his name, she's like, hello everyone. Hello chefs. I would like to welcome our guest judge, Dr. Vivek Mirthy. He's like, she gets that thing where she gets like really, treat her, her people when it's like a name like Salah,

the Aron Sanchez on Chop. She's always like, oh, I really like this, but I could have used more jalapeno. Okay. I think a John DeLoren just to me is the best example of that. Yeah. Today we're going to be cooking with speedy. That's awesome.

So this is not just the health challenge because they have this a lot. They've put a new twist on it where now it's we're going to help the entire country to eat healthy, maintain emotional being, and get physical because we're change makers. I'm like, oh God, not with this change maker. Shit again. Please, please. No. So they all start making comfort food,

which basically, I feel like half of them were like, I'll use zucchini instead of pasta. That's what everybody thinks of now. Yeah. Well, that was Katsujee who did the, I think he did the zoodles. And Brooke. Oh, is it Brooke?

Yeah, Brooke made up like a, she used that for her pasta too. So let me see here, Sheldon fell. And so, oh, yeah, so, you know, last week Sheldon had to get an MRI because he's having back issues. And really all season long, they've been teasing this moment when Sheldon falls because the thing is with this quick fire, not only does it have to be a vegetarian and healthy version of a comfort food, but they can only get one ingredient from the pantry at a time, which means they have to make four trips to the pantry and back. And all these shots are so out of shape.

They have like one trip. They're just like propping each other up panting as if they just ran the Boston marathon. I I know they're all dying. And she'll then, you know, she'll then hurt his back from carrying a tray of noodles in the first place. And we've already talked about how. Only if only been a trans noodles, they are lighter. We've talked about how sad that is, but this time I think he fell holding an egg. It's like, it's like the saddest doctor ever, you know, he's like, I'm selling man up already noodles and then an egg. They put it in slow motion and they even had like the voice or any

falls over and like, this is it. He's like his discs are already messed up. He's going to go to the hospital. He can't return. This is going to be it for Sheldon. And then he's like, wow, that really hurt. And then he gets up and then the episode just goes on. I'm like, are you kidding me? He's like, wow, that really hurt. And then he gets up and then episode just goes on. Oh my God.

Are you kidding me? He's like, my back hurts. The end. So I fell. And by the way, I was like, Hey, surgeon general, could you check out the guy who just fell? I hear you're a doctor. Can you, can you check him out?

I think the best response to this entire challenge of comfort food that's healthy was Susie. Because she goes, wait a minute! Cuff the food is cuff the food! It's like very, very well said, Susie. Surely, you know. Serally, serally. Like some of the worst. I mean, they even put up her damn name

and I've watched her for like seasons before this. You know, if I were there, if I were one of those chefs, I would have just knocked on the challenge. I always spent the entire time asking the surgeon general about all the hypercontractions I have. I'm like, okay, now sometimes my chest feels tight at night. Does that mean I have, is that like, is that an issue or is it, he'd be like,

no, you're fine, you're fine. He'd be like zucchini noodles. I really liked him the drool guy, because I think this is going to be a fun challenge. I was like, uh, feel it. Is that Jamie? Yeah. I think this is going to be fun. I was like, cool.

I'm about to do six flags, but person. I'm trying to remember what's still the made. I feel like I've still made something like silver made something with satan. And I think they did not like it. Oh, that looked like logs of poop. That was not good. And he's like, this is my chicken and dumplings. That is a bowl of poop.

Yeah, that was a bowl of poop. I love silver, but that was a bowl of poop. And by the way, in terms of healthy eating, I have to say that Friday night, I was in a rush for dinner, so by the way, in terms of healthy eating, I have to say that Friday night, I was in a rush for dinner, so I went down and got some supermarket sushi, and I was so hungry that I had an impromptu purchase

of a box of Atkins bars, which I'd never had an Atkins bar, but they were for sale by the checkout section. And I had one, and it was so delicious. I can't even. Have you ever had an act in the face? Yes, I used to work for them. Oh yeah, that's right. Oh my God, it tasted like a Snickers.

It does not. I mean, unless they've really improved them, but back in the day, it was gross. I always would imagine like the discarded part of like beef, you know, like that they make hot dogs with or whatever, just dyed brown and, you know, like, but chocolate flavoring on it or something gross. Like chocolate protein, gross. I, I want to encourage you to try their like chocolate nougat bar. It tasted like a full flesh candy bar. I could not believe it. I mean, I'm still

gonna stay loyal to my think thin bars, but this is a serious challenge. A serious, serious challenge. Well, my least favorite is an Atkins bar, but the judges least favorite of this quickfire. Silver's dumpling dumpling gross. Casey's dish. This bad was like, what is the top of this chicken pot pie? And she's like, well, you know, it's just some flour to make it crunchy. She's like, no, you just made Casey into a country pumpkin. Because Casey does that. She's another one he uses her accent when she feels like she needs more personality.

She'll be like, here we are on the kitchen. And I'm a chef from the South. So also I fried chicken. Like you don't even talk like that. Stop it. It's like sometimes she forgot her basically she, she like did not cook the top of her pop pie. So she put like, she put flour on top and then hit it with a blowtorch or something like

that. Yeah. And she looks like a very sensitive person. Like she looks like she cries a lot and she looks like she, if people are mean to her even on the internet that she doesn't know, like she'd get really upset. And it makes me feel-

As they did, as she did. And when everyone blamed her for Carla losing that one season. Oh yeah, she's still traumatized from that. And it makes me feel bad making fun of her, but then I just can't help it because when she is in the bottom, she really does look like my life is over.

So everything I worked for, Daddy said, Mommy said, everybody said. You know, this is actually, I think, Casey's strongest season. I feel like she's getting more, more applause than she ever has before. I mean, she's been really the tallet up with a kick in the ass. It's like, when one and then then actually is on the bottom and then she's on the top and then she's on the bottom. And and Brook is too. This is Brooks second time on the bottom, which was weird. Yeah, which is shocking, shocking, but I think Brook will be fine. I think Brook is a pretty high caliber. I think so. Well, the good ones were Jamie Slubby Joe, Brooks Luzagna and Lena Dunham's whatever the fuck she made.

And by the way, Brooks Luzagna looked so good. Oh my God. I was salivating when I looked at that. I don't know. For me, it's like zucchini as pasta. But it was like cheesy and delicious. It looked the way it was. I'm a sucker for a Luzagna. Yeah, a single serve L lasagna that has been under the broiler and it's just oozing and cheesy and it's like brown on top. I love that. Do you remember? I can't get behind foods that are pretending to be other foods, but the healthy version.

But that's the challenge, though. That's what they had. I know. I just can't get my head. I just can't get my head. I know. I just can't get my head. She was forced to.

There was a, what was the name of that? Remember that restaurant that Italian chain, Pomodoro, which I think is all shut down. They used to have this divine, single serve chicken lasagna. It was like a white lasagna. And I think there were even mushrooms in it. Oh, it was so good. I used to eat their nookie. They're nookie. Okay. I was blowing out whatever the hell I'm smoking. What is this? It's like some vanilla candle. I'm basically smoking in here Yeah, I think Jim also did not do all on this, but So anyway, so then the main challenge was that they had to make There was gonna be a

fancy a fancy meal. They went to oh, you know, was it was that that that author meal. They went to oh you know was it was that um that that author uh Lewis adn Lewis which I was I was happy to learn about her even though I'm like I don't know who that is and then they showed everybody like um anyone anyone I was like god you guys at least pretend to respect adn Lewis exactly. No one seems to know who she is but she has her own past. She's stomp. She is like an icon. I'm like, girl, you are so good. That's why I was coming off. Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, and Edna, telling you people will never receive a letter of the same. So they had to, they met with two people who were experts on Enelouis and they learned

about her and they read her cookbook. I actually almost went and bought her cookbook. I am so impressionable in terms of like marketing employees. I was like, a click away from buying. And then I was like, do I really need a Southern cooking cookbook? Yes, you do. Southern cooking is amazing. I made chicken and dumplings last night while I watched this because I felt so Southern and I made biscuits the other day. And they were amazing.

It's not a question of, is it amazing? It's that I'm trying to eat healthy right now and Southern cooking. It was just too bad. Just throw up. I mean, biscuits the other day. And I would like to say thank you to the widest lady on earth who we saw on this show. A couple episodes ago on the biscuit challenge when they had to go to the families and one went to the black family and one went to like the widest family ever on earth and she's like, Mima used to put cream cheese in the biscuits. That was her secret thing. I did it and they were amazing. Thank you, white lady. I want to say that. I've only made biscuits once. I was from a Neely's cookbook and they were fine.

They were fine, but I feel like you could do better. You could do better. I made their mac and cheese one time and it was insanity. It was not good. No, Neely's. They were like paprika and mustard and then a seed from I was like, what are you talking about? I did it anyway just to see if it was more got their jerks their jerks. Um, okay. So, um, so these two, uh, people who are one of them was a, like a historian slash opera singer. And the other, I forget what she did, but they say learned and I actually really liked it. And because I said last week, I really enjoy how top chef, I feel like it's making more of an effort to educate us about local cultural and things, which I really appreciate. Um,

and they have to make recipes inspired by Edna Lewis and they're going to cook it, effort to educate us about local culture and things, which I really appreciate. And they have to make recipes inspired by Edna Lewis and they're going to cook them at this historic place where she used to cook and she used to live, et cetera. And you used to talk to the ghosts of the slaves. I was like, Oh, no, this is a scary kid. Yeah. I imagine, I imagine slave ghosts don't have like the most light things to say in the day It's they're not like the most hilarious ghosts around, you know I don't know. I'm not you know I was like if anyone's gonna be talking to slave ghosts is gonna be

Surely or something like I got how are you the most fun food I ever made I'm just not gonna touch this one slave ghosts I just I just, I just, I see my self-made striving for a joke. And then I make a comment and haunts me for the rest of my life. Okay, okay, we'll let it go on. The ghosts, the ghosts that you move on then. Thank you. But, but I will say,

Katsugi, I will say this man does have balls of steel because he basically made fried chicken and watermelon and everyone's like, um, Katsugi, this is maybe a little tone deaf. What are you doing? But shockingly in the end, what he did was supposedly very delicious and they, and this would be offensive, but you cut the watermelon into little squares, which made them very elegant. And it changed my mind. Like, okay, okay, we've overcome because we've learned a new state for the water. Well, well done. Well, because I mean, he put, he put enough

attention to it and gave the ingredients to respect that it was an elevated and made it excellent to the point where, you know, it was about the ingredients it wasn't about a stereotype because if he had messed it up, then that would have been bad. Silver was also mortified because Sheldon was making something with watermelon and fried chicken and he's like, uh, Sheldon was, I thought, no, Sheldon made like a tuna thing because he reminded him of his mouth. Oh, that's right. He made the pork.

So I guess he was talking about Katsuhji. Yeah. Sheldon was like So I guess he was talking about Katsuhji. Yeah. Sheldon was like, I don't know if this is this is not what I would I would do, but you know, but I'm going to just make my

thing. But Sheldon made something. So yeah, like a soup in broth is a. But anyway, caps when I was against Lee and the Dunham and or he what he presented with her and she was like, Oh my God, I can't do this right now.

And the kitchen, she's like all bitchy and emotional all the time. And she was running out of time. So she just threw her chicken livers in the deep fire. And I only pointing this out because it's hilarious at the end when she's sobbing like, what? I'm very proud of that. It's like amazing. I thought it was going to be in the tap.

Like you threw your chicken livers in a deep fire. You feel like you're getting it. Not even a part of you thought that was going to be good. So come on back. Come on back to the five-in-time, lean it down and done it. Yeah. Jim did well also because he made a consume. That was like very clear of a pack to flavor punch.

So Gelsamans was very thrilled with that. And the other two people who did not do so well, well, Sheldon did well. They really loved Sheldons as well, although Sylvoh ended up winning the individual challenge. But the ones were at the bottom, there was Amanda who ultimately went home because she basically made like this duck and Something else just like threw it all on a plate and it was like Southern food He's like, I'm almost died three spinal fusions. They were like, we don't care. You're And I remember who else was on the bottom

Broke was on the bottom because she made something oh Broke was on the bottom because she made something. Oh, yeah, she made this series of like a lemon curd and a blackberry caron or something and it was too sweet and he was like, is this dessert or like? He's always like so mad at everything. So they didn't have that guest judge this time. Grant is is this name Graham not Graham Elliott, but the guy with the gray hair. Who's like? Art are art. Yeah, he's. This chicken with like a prayer. It was like a prayer on an angel's wing. I mean, what a chicken.

Whenever he prays or something, it's like so sweet. He's like, you know, the cloud above a park on a really hot day where you just need to glad to give you some shade and remind you that God is real. You know what I'm saying, guys? Art Smith did not annoy me this time. Normally, he drives me bonkers

because he's always promoting himself. He's like, this chicken reminds me the chicken. I serve Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey, who's my very good friend when I was 60 pounds heavier by I lost that weight to on account of Michelle Obama, who's now become my very good friend. That's what it reminded me of. Like shut up, Art, we get it.

We know you cook for Oprah. You cook for Michelle Obama. I like that Jamie at one point goes If Edna had sous vide she would have used it all the time Like okay, I don't know why I love a good Edna Lewis sous vide fan fiction Like the weirdest dream I've ever heard of but okay stream of a bird of okay. So, Broke and Lena Dunham was also in the bottom because of her deep fried thing and that's when she started

crying and Adam was like, why the fuck are you crying? You crazy bitch. And she's like, I don't know who's gonna be on the top. And then they moved on to Brooke who just had it like that. I know it's hard. So like that. That was that was so happy. broke you just had a little bit of time ago I

know it's hard. That was so happy. And then uh, Brooke was inspired by too many things or whatever. And then Tom's like, well, I asked the slaves in the kitchen and uh, there goes told me that uh, Edna was

most disappointed in uh, Amanda by Amanda. Bye Amanda. She's like, oh, Amanda was out of there. Amanda, but it was, Amanda was happy because she's like, well, I've been bartending and now I know I can go back to cooking. And it's great. I know things like again, and I was like, okay, whatever.

Okay, man. Thanks for being cute. Bye. Good. Now get rid of the banks. The banks are terrible. And I'm sorry, Amanda. I feel like you've gotten away.

You got into this season so far without getting a lot of criticism from us about the banks. The banks are terrible. I'm sorry, Minda. I feel like you've gotten away. You've gotten through this season so far without getting a lot of criticism from us about the banks. The banks are terrible, Amanda. We remember you without the banks. It was much better without the banks. It's just the banks are just not working. Just if anything else, just get rid of the banks. It's funny how our thoughts are so different at the end because I wrote, wow, Amanda left with some grace because she didn't make an ass out of herself. I was like oh there's a nice girl she's like oh it was real fun playing you know I mean at least I still have a back because I could have gone really bad. You never know how that could have gone you know all right guys. It's a good good bye.

Bye. And that's like Amanda to the end of the Tulpsiff. You guys, thanks so much for listening to us. As you know, we're five days a week now. We also still do a bonus episode every week. And this week, our bonus is going back to just regular topics and not bravo-related, necessarily, stuff or recaps. Whatever's on our minds. Yeah, whatever we feel like.

So go check us out over at patreon.com slash watch with crepans and get all our other links at watch with crepans.com. We love you, a guy. H and everyone of what on one of you, each and every single one of you, you can go sub you. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.