Watch What Crappens - #368 Ladies of London: Castle Hunters

Episode Date: January 12, 2017

It’s a castle war on Ladies of London, when Caroline Stanbury rents a castle to compete with Jules. Will there be rules? Will there be fights? And will anyone eat the pudding? Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Timestamps: 00 Crappens Mailbag 13:02 Ladies of London See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I'm Ronnie Carham from TrashTalkTV, the ResPrix Bachelor podcast, and the real housewives of Beverly Hills audiobooks on iTunes. And I'm with my gorgeous little pal Ben Mandelker of the Beside blog in the banter blender Hello Bean. Hello there. I love you. Love you too. Tell me your stories. Tell me your stories. Well, this is the story of a Thursday afternoon in Los Angeles. And people are still pretty. The end people are still hot still hot people outside. Actually, there's more hot people outside. I was just out there, I believe it went on, lift the hair for a moment, and more beautiful people, because it's

been raining here, and now it's not. And the beautiful people are like, I can go outside again. Exactly. Or is it not raining? It might be raining. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you.

We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you.

We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. We won't really tell you. that you need to hear covered. It's probably got its own episode. Go check it out. With the exception of Mondays, which is a split between Atlanta and Top Chef.

Just. And then Friday, this week, we are moving Mary-Demettis enough to the side for a bit to talk about some ice, the new bravo show about Waspie Semi-Homely people, fucking in the Hamptons. And twins. Twins and an entertainment reporter. It's fun. Yeah. Waspie semi-homely people fucking in the haptons and twins Twins and an entertainment reporter. It's fun. Yeah, it's fun. You show listen to that one today You don't need to worry about that anybody because today is all

Lads of lungs Well, it's 95% lads of London and the other five percent Scrap in Smalebag percent lads of London and the other five percent. This crap is mailbag. Oh, man! We're gonna do this on Friday, but it's not to do it today instead. So, first question comes from Michael Horn, who says, Happy New Year, Ben and Ronnie. They're rumors floating around. What?

Thank you, honey. Oh, yeah. They're rumors floating around. What? Thank you, honey. Oh, yeah. They're rumors floating around about Gretchen returning to Real Housewives of Orange County. I know she, Vicki, and Kelly have gone close off the show. However, if she came back, how do you think she would fit in with the current cast? Impressions of possible conversations and fights are welcome.

Love you, Batches. Oh my god. I could do you imagine the dirty looks that Shannon is going to be giving Gretchen of Gretchen's back on the show. Yeah, I don't think that would work out. Oh, that is not going to work out. She finally got one of the older ladies, Vicki, to be nice to her because Vicki's usually the one who's mean to the young new one.

Mm-hmm. But that is now Shannon's job. Vicki's just nice to everybody because she's like, I didn't know we had cancer, you know, like her whole thing now. So she's nice to everybody. But Shannon not so much. Yeah, I would actually feel bad for Vicki that her allies would have to be Kelly Dodd and Gretchen. Okay. You know, that's just you're I mean, admittedly, Vicki is the value of like five women in one, but that's just it's not a great army to go up against the other half. Heather, Tamra and Shannon.

How is it? What is it girl? It keeps saying however. What does she know another word? I really hope Gretchen does not come back because this show has been so excellent since Gretchen has left. And more importantly since Slade has left, that to bring them back would really, it would really mess up the chemistry.

I think the ratings have been really good, I believe. And I don't think there's any need to bring Gretchen back. Bring a new chicken, but let's not go back to Gretchen. Yeah, I feel like if Gretchen comes back, it is going to be the way that Camille comes back. Yeah, or Gina. Yeah. I don't think that it's going to be, you know, the way that Bethany came back. Yeah. I feel like if Gretchen comes back, she'll be a friend of, but accept her title as be a not friend of Gretchen, Rossi, not friend of Vicki of Gretchen Rossi not friend of Vicki Russian Rossi not friend of Tamara however I'm here anyway however you can mind my juices online for $3

she always selling some kind of crazy crap I mean I hope that if I hope Gretchen comes back just so I can see more of what she's telling online because I really don't look unless they're actually on the show. But Gretchen always telling us some crazy shit. It's always bought from some trunk of some guy from China. You know, it's all shit that's been shipped in. She's like, yeah, you want to buy a stamp that says Heather? I was like, my name is Jocelyn. Still, maybe only the Heather, five for five dollars.

Like, nobody wants that. So Karen Zaharowitz says, since we're apparently in the upside down with Trump appointing cabinet members that want to destroy the department they're being put in charge of. I thought I thought the housewives or other bravo's labs could do a better job. Here's a few that I think could work. Secretary of State, Lewanne, because she's great with farmers. Secretary of Treasury, Lisa Vanderbump, since she's so good at manipulating, she'd be a natural interest rates.

Plus she loves broken things. Secretary of Labor, candy, because she knows how to work and attorney general, Fadra, naturally. What's your take? Of course, you can pick out the departments. And by the way, Sharon, Chimes Innon says, Heather, for Department of the Interior,, Interior Pizza ovens for everyone. Well, I would not put candy in charge of labor. I mean, we just saw how see basically

makes people work for 50 cents an hour. I don't know that that's really what we need right now in America. I don't know. I don't know. That's the only if you believe Johnny and I don't, well, I don't know, that's the only if you believe Johnny and I don't believe Johnny. I would put candy as the head of, I don't know, the kitchen, because you know, candy will make sure that they're eating some good food in there. That's right. I think Sonia Morgan would be good for Secretary of Labor. It just be a lot of internships. Really, she'd be educating the future of America.

The White House is run for free. The White House is full of microwaves and computer number four five and six. She's like, why is everybody mad at me? I mean, you told me I was allowed to put pickle on the cabinet. It's like not in the cabinet. Like let pickle out of the cabinet, please. Who put this 1987 Mac and Josh computer in the oval office? Oh, I just put there. I thought you need it for parts. Who put this 1987 Mac and Josh computer in the oval office? Oh, I just put there. I thought you need it for parts. Parts in labor. Why are there like five different bounty towel packages here in the oval office?

Oh, I just didn't know where to keep them. Bounty towel packages. I think Bethany in charge. I would have her. This isn't part of the cabinet. I don't think I'm so stupid. And you know what? I watched every West Wing episode until Jimmy Smith's, um, so I should know this. But I think they should put Bethany as press secretary.

She should be like the R.I. Fleischer or whatever of that administration. So it'd be like, so what about this Trump having prostitutes, P on a bed that Obama slept in or whatever. And she'd be like, what, going, what kind of branding is that? Like, what kind of presidential suite is that? president Trump allegedly received? I look at the fuck. Yeah, but look, but what about them? Did they happen? I look at the fuck.

The girls got a lick. I look at the fuck. And I think that Bethany would be a good surgeon general. Be like, all right, that's, we got, okay, like those, and diabetes, obesity, like, like, what's the matter? What's going on? Like, I don't get it. Like, you're sick.

Like, I don't get it. Like, I'm a surgeon, I'm a general, like, am I in the army? Like, what's happening? Like, I don't get it. Like you're sick. Like something like I don't get it. Like I'm a surgeon. I'm a general like, am I in the army? Like, like what's happening? Like I don't get this. I think she should take over Michelle Obama's garden plan for the for the fat kids of America. Because Michelle Obama's like, we need to eat things that's, you know, catch up. It's not a vegetable. You know, she's like trying to teach basic things. And I think someone with the true eating disorder would be best to lead it. She'd be like, get you fat. Get you it. Get you fat. Get you thin. Get you fat.

Get you thin. Skinny lunch. Everyone's gonna be like, oh, I got a tick-tack. Yeah, well, that's all the calories you need. Okay? If you're hungry, just don't eat. All right, it'll look better. I can get it. Like, if you're gonna complain about lunch, like, you want me to make you lunch? Okay, I mean, you're lunch. Okay, you're just complaining about it. Like, I don't get it. Like, I don't see if you're playing me get it one more time.

My wall's gonna be up. Okay, like, just like killing me. Honestly, just like take your brown paper bag, show me my throat. Let me stuff again. Just let me die. Let me die in the cafeteria. Honestly, I can't too much. What else is in there, man? I'm gonna do one more question. Benjamin Cohen. He says, Hey, guys, I wanted to ask you about your Bravo predictions for the new year. Do you have any you want to declare? For instance? I think real houses in New Jersey will be canceled. I also think Lala will end up on VH1 or E on one of those wag shows.

Oh my god. The wag so close. I think that's a pretty good prediction. I think that if Lala, if she plays her cards wrong, which she sort of seems like she is, she will wind up on a low rent wrong, which is she sort of seems like she is. She will wind up on a low rent VH1 La La Therapy Show. Wags. It's like bags. Predictions, let me see. I think that Potomac is gonna come back and be 24 episodes. And that lady's hairline will be back to the top of her neck and she'll still have like a full floor link weave on. And I think that Nini Leaks will declare bankruptcy. And I think that Paul P.K. Kelsey will also declare declare he will try declaring

American bankruptcy. More of bankruptcy, baby. More of bankruptcy. I think that's, I don't think New Jersey will be canceled because I think Andy Cohen loves to research you guys too much. I think I don't know. I don't have any really strong predictions. I think definitely someone will have their face messed up.

It'll probably be someone from Potomac or maybe someone from Dallas. I think I am a little concerned that Luann may get herself fired off of New York because she didn't let Bravo film her wedding. That concerns me, but hopefully that's a prediction that won't come true. Yeah, and Tamara also has a good chance of being fired. Tamara? Yeah, she got in a lot of trouble. For what?

Well, first she hit somebody, and then she sent, yeah, then she sent a picture of Vicki's tits to some 15-year-old girl to spread it around the internet and supposedly the FBI got involved, which, look, that'd be our busy, okay? That'd be our busy just enough with our presidents. They're so busy with the election shit. They've got enough to do without worrying about Vicki's tits. Yeah, you know, the funny thing is, this might be the first time I actually sided with Trump on this because if the FBI is too busy dealing with Vicki's tits on Tamer's phone, maybe he has a point about the intelligence community.

Just kidding. Time will tell, being time will tell. Just kidding. All right, well let's close up this crap and smell back because we have laser London to do. So. And as a reminder, if you want to submit to the crap on mail back and have your question read on the air, just go to Patreon and support us at the $5 level and then you can write your own question and get it read.

But you know what? I would think about you signing up on Patreon in the future, but I live in the now. I live in the now. I live in the now. I'm never. To do to do. Ladies of London music. That is the opening song.

I live in the now. I live in the now or never. You you almost made it sound too pleasant because it really should be like, oh, I live in the now, I live in the now, it has to be one year. I was actually impressed today because there were other lyrics than just like the first, you know,

cause usually it's like the first line repeated over and over. But this one, she was saying, I live in the now, I live in the now, I live in the now, I live in the now, I live in the now, I live in the now I live in the now I live in the now I live in the now I live in the now I live in the now or never and I was like whoa Wow getting deep that took a turn I wasn't expecting So we open up with Sophie coming over to Julie's apartment. She's showing off a new hatch. She wore to ask for And they're just talking about an upcoming trip to Scotland. They're all going to be taking that Caroline Stenbury is organizing. And Julie tells us the

story about how she ran into Caroline at an event last night. And Caroline was like, don't make my no rules in Scotland thing a big deal. And Julie was like, well, then I won't walk out of your dinner. So I got, rant rant rant. Yeah. Julie, Julie is hilarious because she's still kind of the old jewels but she's trying to be new jewels and it's not, like it's just not working. Like she's trying to be bitchy jewels who runs a manner but you know she's still old jewels. Like she starts with old jewels. She's like, soapy? Oh, soapy is like so great. Like she's really come far and she has a voice now and she's ready to start a new life. I love her voice.

And then it's like, Caroline was me to me. It's this thing. And I told her, well, don't walk out of my dinner party. And Sophie says, look, I can't talk about Caroline at all. We've had a talk and I've decided it's time for me to be a good sister and step back. Full stop. She's my family and Jules is like, I totally get it. It's just Mapperton. Mapperton is the biggest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm like, you made a sandwich menu

with completely new sandwich names. That could have been easy. Yeah. You branded tea towels. That could have been T towels. Yeah. You branded T towels. I think it's just that Leslie and the N barrel have just been cyberbullying her. Worry to ruin Mampatin bitch. Who sent me this email? Stop it. What is that with a Heathcliff signature? It's like the Facebook messages. You dumb bitch. Wait, is this phantom? I just want everyone to know that while I was doing that impersonation, I pulled a muscle in my back.

Why, barrel? Why did you curse me, barrel? Brand, brand-hug, bitch. Wait, who said this? I just like the idea of like, the three of those ladies in trench coats wrapping up a wide of the tea towels and throwing it through Julie's window

with a hate letter on it, written in like ransom note. Who would burn my tea towel like this? I thought everyone liked it, and everyone drinks tea around here and everyone needs a towel! Why don't you want a tea towel? Why? They were so hard Well, she starts getting really pissed off because

Sophie's like I can't talk about Caroline and she's like, okay, well, Caroline's mean to me and you know I'm not pretend it was the biggest day of my life and it was a disaster. Let's just face it It was a disaster there. I said it Everyone hates me. The world. She's freaking out. Like, anybody gives a shit how her dinner party at Maperton went. I mean, Julie, I love you, girl, but no one cares.

No one cares. The only people who care is that woman who is mad about the pudding that was meeting. Yeah, this is one of the least relatable storylines of all time. I can't believe that I had a bad dinner party at my brand new castle estate. Sorry, girl. I like you, Julie. I like you a lot, but we just have to just get up. Just have another dinner party.

Okay. And see you. You do a dinner party on a reality show. What did you think was going to happen? Just keep keep making that pudding girl. Some day is going to work out great. And Sophie is like, what does she not understand? I said, I couldn't talk about it woman get over it. She's like, I'm Caroline in the city. I wasn't going to talk

about that anyway. I did love that show though. Lee Atomson, there's another one who was never appreciated. So with her entire career, how would the duck? That's how I feel. I'm also back to the future. So then it's time to transition and when we transition it means fire up the band lady. I don't need to try. I was born this way. I was born this way. I was born this way. I was born this way. I'm like okay. Someone's been listening to Lady Gaga. At this point she's just repeating titles of other songs.

Because we live thing in a material world and guess what? I'm a material girl. So it's like the thing where we see flashes of scenes. So we see Caroline, Stanburg's little kid eating chocolate to make his tooth come out faster. And Caroline's like, I don't want to show tooth or come out now. But mommy, no, slowly eat the chocolate slowly. He looks like to like, he's all sad. You know, they Caroline totally chops on the tooth fairy, the tooth fairy

shows up. She's like, clear the tooth fairy. No. Out out out of the house. How did that midget get into my home? Clear him. Valentina. Yes, ma'am. Do the tooth fairy, please. Does that mean the tooth fairy's dead mom? Yes. What would I tell it mom? I don't care. I don't care So do I don't care the only fairy I want around here is Luke And he can be enough he can be a fairy on his off hours when he's here. He's my fairy

Get the dole Luke probably is the tooth fairy. She's like your late. I'm sorry I didn't know I was supposed to come to work at 3 a.m. But where you are? Clear him. Clear. Get the truth. He has a pants. Born this way, I was born this way. I was born this way, because my mother had me like this. Juliet and her kid.

Mommy, do you want underwear? And she's like, yeah, yeah, I need some underwear to pack for this trip in the castle she's like I don't want to touch that part. I was born this way I was born this way and then Marissa is talking about her breast pump with tsunami. Yeah great and then then born this way born this wall I don't have to draw it ends like plumbing spritzing her room. She's like I find meditation and it's quite incredible. I need to meditate. I and think about blue bris draw bris

Brass bris boys But as we found out later in the episode she's not really afraid of flying. She's afraid of flying in coach Yeah, too very different things Buddha was himself poor, so I shall breathe Buddha into me so I can understand what it's like as I sit next to three others on a plane. My least favorite musical concert is Coachella, mainly because I spent 10 years thinking it was a version of Cinderella where someone grows up to be stuck in culture whole life.

What a terrible fairy held, terrible indeed. I've always felt bad for Cinderella, Dong Dong Ding Dong, please help Cinderella. Marrying to a family with a castle, Dong Dong Ding Ding. I spent my childhood being afraid to turn on ABC on Tuesday nights at 8 p.m. because that's when coach would be on. I thought, Oh no, if I watched this, I'm destined to be in coach. Cinderella wasted a pumpkin instead of calling an Uber. I shall never forget it. I respect food.

I think about food all the time. Eating it, cooking it, driving in it. Was how pumpkin stand it or automatic? Plug in, hybrid or diesel. These are the things I think about with Cinderella. So Caroline and Leeker in the car and they're on the way to the airport I guess and looks like are you excited for this trip? And he kind of rolls his eyes at the camera like God helped me. And she says, I am.

It's going to be fun having a wonderful girls weekend. Sophie has apologized properly. I'm excited to go. He's like, I think it's actually really important to note that we got new music in between the last thing we talked about and the first thing and this music, they took the Beverly Hills Alan Lazar music and they put lyrics on it. Did you notice that? No, what was it?

There's this one song that they play in Beverly Hills when they're all getting together for lunch. It's like, do, do do do and it has like all this like noise Better instrumentation than me going like that, but it's this one song They play all the time on Beverly Hills and they put these lyrics out they go Don't you take us for granted we stand for something and I was like why are you're singing over the stock music that we've heard for years and years? Well, that bitch has to come up with a lot of new songs. She's probably just like, trolling his sight now. Like, something new will come up.

Alan Lezah, please, something anything. Alan Lezah, please give us a gem. Oh, also, while we're still talking about music, when they get to the castle later, this is the music that they use in all the housewives shows that they stole from romance movies. And it goes, dun dun dun the girl who writes, you know, the born this way over Alan Lizar. Gretchen is going to the library themes. Because, you know, they probably paid more

for that one song than that girl makes in a year. And she has to come up with something every day and five minutes. And you can see how exot that she is. Because her lyrics, they don't make sense. They don't rhyme. She is just grabbing phrases where she can. It was like this commercial I just saw

with Helen Mirin for like, L'Oreal. And they'd be talking about all the things that L'Oreal does or whatever the product was. And every now and then, you just see like, Helen Mirin's sitting around, and it's like white drippery. And then every now and then, they cut to her and they make her say some cliche like,

we're telling, that's the way the cookie grumbles. And they cut to her she's like, I'm worth it. And they cut to no like 10 seconds later, diamonds are our girl's best friend. No use crying over spilled milk. I'm like, this is the lazyest copywriting ever. Just fine cliches. Well, in their defense, they probably wrote something in Helen Mirren was like, I'm not memorizing that.

I do film. Okay, we'll just say whatever you want. But in hand, as we have molded into in a bus, are we done? No, another one. A stitching time is worth nine. Don't capture chickens before they hatch. And what not?

Are we done? No. The grass is over greener. All right, Helen, can we talk about the product? No That's the way the cookie crumbles you already did that one Well, you'll take it and you'll like it Okay, so they're all getting on they're all basically traveling to the airport and different Ella is Adele is wearing a witch hat

By the way, I'd like to add. And then another new song, by the way, they crammed so many songs in this first two minutes to show, like so many different ones. Because then almost I'm like, ew, clock, clock, let's dance. I was like, what is that? It's like you can celebrate.

Adele, we need a song for Adele's hat. How about bubble, bubble, toil and trouble? No, no, no, how about cloud cloud left stance? Okay. I think that Caroline Stambury has a very good outlook on this. I mean, for her. She's like, I don't understand the problem with these women. I actually want them to want us to be a fun weekend, and I know that people won't fight around the men. So I've invited the men to come around the end to questioning all humans they might have with me. Look, that's actually kind of smart. But don't you remember last year, it many years when everybody was fighting in front of the men and Jules was Julia was like, are you trying to give them my man's to my husband

in your hamster onesie? Yeah, he locked it. Sophie, Sophie's like, yeah, he locked it. Yeah, it's not gonna work. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, Caroline, they're at Heathrow, she's being bossy, don't get to watch on my book. And then they get on the airplane, so we have like all this video from their cell phones. And what I loved was, you know, they show Juliet

and Caroline Fleming, and then they got to Marissa and and Adela and they're so confused on how to shoot video. It's literally upside down and so grainy because the phone is so old 2007 this video cannot do HD you have like the original iPhone Yeah, but then Oh, yeah, sorry, I was thinking about I was thinking about something that Fleming did, but that was later. When Fleming was having her panic attack, I got the airplane. That was later, that was.

She's breathing in and out of a bag. Yes. So now they arrive in Scotland and they get into cars and Mrs. Excuse me, driver. Is there a drink that Scottish people drink and looks like, I think it's scoach. I'm just like, ow, am I dumb? Noch. I'm like, oh, am I dumb? No, Marissa's like, yeah, am I dumb?

Like, am I really dumb for asking that? Because I think it's the baby brain. And she's like, uh, what's that? I think it's, I just, it looks so pissed. She's like, what's that? And you know, he's the thing, it means it's that thing that happens when you say stupid things because your brain is the size of a baby's. It was nicer than pea brain.

I'm trying to have manners. So Caroline is immediately gossiping in the car. She's like, I don't understand why Marissa would say that I'm running away when she's running away and moving to LA. I'm like, oh, yeah, you're really being the bigger one so far, like come on, lady. And then Fleming is like, well, she's only going for nine months and Juliet goes,

she says she doesn't run even go. And Fleming goes, ha ha ha ha ha. It's like, what? What just happened? Caroline Fleming secretly hates Marissa and I love it. Like every time someone makes a dig at her, she's like,

AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH! I just assumed that she saw a tiny castle laughed at it's size. Look at that tiny castle. That must belong to the janitor. As we say every Christmas, Paul Scotland. As we say every Christmas, pass the friggin' downgin down and please isn't have the most wonderful flavor And Jules Jules is Jules gets in the car with Caroline because he's like well, I'm gonna start this out on the right foot

And so I'll just get in the same cars Caroline to show that I can get in the same cars Caroline and it's totally fine And Caroline's like you'll be in the same car as Caroline and it's totally fine. And Caroline's like, you'll be in the trunk, Jules. You know that I appreciate you jumping in the trunk. You know the junk. It's got the first two letters of Jub-Balls. So they get to the Dundes castle and they drive by some alpacas and no one knows what they are. They're like, are those deer?

I thought it was sheep. I'm like, oh wow, you guys are all idiots right now. Wasn't even Juliet saying that stuff. I know. I'm literally all of them. Is that a sheep? Is that a duck? Is that a deer? So they get to this castle, which looks amazing and when Juliet says it looks like Down-Nabby, she's not lying. It really does. And Caroline Fleming literally goes, when I was a child, I thought everyone lived in a castle. All my parents, friends had castles. That's just what we did, castles. So this feels like being right at home,

and she walks up to some flowers, and she's like, there's a fake. Where is the herring? Oh, I thought I was home for a moment. Anyone have any aqua V? Uh-huh. It was so funny watching Jules' face when everyone's like, because everyone's just kissing Stambury's ass.

It's like the first episode, she's trying to be nice to everybody, you know, in her Stambury way. And so everybody's just kissing her ass. Adela's like, Where's Dan Dalling? Wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully found darling yeah great castle jose was like hmm let me ask you that huh I would like to I would like to pre-concratulate the puttings because I know they're gonna eat

hers we congratulate the puttings and you work for best putting ghost you are gonna eat hers. We can gradually put things. And the war for best putting ghost you carolines. Lips is getting out of the way now. You like your putting better than mine. Say it! So, uh, so carolines, Danbury gives the rules on this no rules vacation, which is there's no need to come to breakfast, but yes, won't you know now. Which of course was a failed attack at Caroline Fleming for me, throwing a fit last year about breakfast. Everyone come into breakfast.

That was a funny scene when they showed that scene. She's like, how could you be in bed during breakfast? Someone has made a lot of effort to make you breakfast and there you are in your bed. They're like, oh my god, she's gonna fucking murder somebody. Yeah, oh I love her. So, um, so Fleming and Juliet go off to the lawn, she's some Rony Polies. And so if he's like, oh no, they can be covered in chicks. And Caroline's Denver goes, oh god, that would be amazing. And Jules and we get a talking head from Jules. And she's like, well, Caroline did do a great job finding this castle, but she did have to rent it.

Oh, no, that is not a good look on you, girl. Well, she tried, give her some effort for doing some castle shade. She only gets to do shade like once this season. I know. She's kind of like Airbnb and being her castle out right now. Yeah, you literally have to rent yours out. So I don't know. Well, keep it aside. Jules, I like you nice.

Jules, I like you nice. So while while some of the girls are getting ticks on them, Luke is inside with Julie and Marissa and Adele and looks like, oh, I give you just, you know, it's a whole bunch of gears here. So I'll give it about five seconds before there's a good fight. And they're like, oh, Luke and the Julie goes, but anyway, Karen, I was talking about you, Merissa. Just one little thing. I mean, they were saying something. Well, they weren't being mean

girls, but maybe just a little. I mean, I just got back into her good graces. Please be quiet, darling. I brought this hat. Have you seen my hat? I mean, I'm not trying to start a girl fight, but I'm all I'm saying is that the proof is in the pudding. Oh no pudding Oh putting in hot cocoa two things I will never be able to master Um so Sophie while Sophie and Carolin are hanging out, I like that Sophie's like, well, it is wonderful that we're back on the same page because I would never do anything or let anyone come between us. And she's like, yes, yes.

Yeah, she literally goes, yes, I thought that was one of two. She wasn't like, I'm so happy to. She's like, yes, yes, I can't even make my voices deepest. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, so why did Luke ask the jewels? Why did you come into the car? Oh, yeah, okay, you're out there now. Yeah, so then they go up now It's time to go pick out a room to see the rooms and the lady who's running the cast like hello everyone We've named all the rooms after flowers are coming here. We're gonna show you where you're gonna see been on the peony room and you're on the tulip room and you're on the rose room and you're on the violet room and you're gonna stop cracking room and then everyone has like a beautiful room with a beautiful bathroom except Caroline's denberry she's like well I just want to do so she she makes

Marissa swap with her under the excuse that like I just I want to be next to Luke that's all I thought I'd be next to Luke and I'm not next to Luke. I'm like, please just say you wanted the bathroom. Okay, because you needing to be in the next room from Luke is really sad sounding. Yeah, and Marissa's like, well, she's the worst host is ever. So she has a bathroom and then Julia gets a second bathroom because she's the best minion. I'm like, oh girl, I love a grout to marissa. Yeah, and then she claims that she's super cool and super easy and just no bad ill will. I'm like, you just complained. Yeah, I felt so bad that Julie was put in the carnation room.

Where's my instant breakfast? Why am I in the friendship flower room? Oh, so cheap. So, carnations are the funeral flower. They are the friendship flower room? Oh, so cheap. So, Creole are the funeral flower. They're the friendship flower, aren't they? She wasn't really. She was actually in the pay only flower, whatever the hell that is.

If there was a carnation room, they would have put Julie in that one. If there was like a dandelion room, they'd put it in there. Oh, this is nice. Well, good luck because it's not a real flower. It's a weed. Yeah, exactly. Here you are. Here's your weed room, Jews. Oh, I guess it's better than this grass. Do you know how hard I've worked on this way of this summer? I'm embarrassed.

Everyone's super excited. You're being a super chat. So Marissa confronts Caroline about what Caroline was saying about her in the car and they just are talking it out and it was surprisingly not that hostile. It was like, I mean, there was underpinnings of it, but Caroline was like, well, you know, I know you're not stupid enough to say these things, but I wonder why you come up with these rumors of why you repeat them. She's like, no, I honestly I didn't do it I mean like I could have died Yeah, I'm like well my baby was dying so well

The reason that I'm moving is not because I'm running from the law morissant I thought that you would understand that you're not a stupid woman and she's like, oh no No, I'm not well glad we have this talk. So yes, yes, I'm glad we did and they're like cold hugs Yeah, and Caroline's like repeating these rumors makes it look small and a little bit stupid Well, and then the hot dog pictures yours has around I mean who takes a picture with a hot dog So American she's like well with a hot dog. She's so American. She's like, well, um, she, because Marissa's saying, well, I didn't say it.

I just, I just said that I heard it. She goes, well, when you were a PT, things Marissa. And she's like, but that's why I didn't. Uh, Sanberg has, well, this must be so small in your world with everything going on. And she goes, got it small, but I mean, it's big in your world. She's like, like the passive aggressive it's big in your world. She's like, like the passive aggressive tabs are so funny. Exactly. And then Caroline, and then Caroline goes over to talk to Julia, she's like, well, I was just talking to Marissa. And she

said that you had to come to her about what she was saying about me, you knitted it. And so then now Julia starts getting wound up because you know, Julia hears hears her name and then Marissa comes in and now they're all talking to him. I was like, I just want loyalty. That's all I want is loyalty. Is it so hot that the two the fairies loyalty me after all, I mean, he brought me here on this trip.

When I say clear, he clears, what is so difficult about that? And then you're all just getting annoyed with her as Marissa's like, yeah, Julie, you're all just getting annoyed with her. This is my final thought. This is my final thought. Yeah, Julie, or Julie is the one I think he's like, oh yeah. If I have.

Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares of our freshly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown Aller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

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Oh, I will suicide by myself in this castle and she will have to pay the fee. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Stupid girl. So then it's time for a song. Because it's time for everyone to get dressed so now the next song is we are rock stars in our own way own way own way We're all rock stars. We're all rock stars. We're all rock stars. No, we're not in our own way I'm like your rock stars in your own unique way or your rock stars getting in in each other's way. Oh

No, we're rock stars and we keep bumping into each other. Oh One longer Raj band commercial. Yeah, we're all rock stars stalling So my favorite part of course is you know the girl's getting dressed and Caroline Fleming is wearing a silver sequin top That's just blingy and shiny and fancy and Julia's like you're like orange and Fleming's like thank you darling well we are in a castle or as I call it a cottage or as I call it the neighbor's home it's all what I call it the garage so in a was like, I thought that's a dance casual and fun. He's like, but to me this ease casual.

I just love how the world that she lives in, like a ball gown is, like it's just, you know, it's, it's like naked gun when Frank Treben is hanging out with Priscilla Presley and he's just back from work. He's in a certain tie and she's like, I made you a roast and she pulls it out of a boiling pot. And he's like, let me change it to something more comfortable and he comes just back from work, he's in a certain tie and she's like, I made you a roast and she pulls it out of a boiling pot. And he's like, let me change it to something more comfortable and he comes back in a texito. That's Caroline Fleming being casual

and her silver sequentop. Oh, that's a girl. So Marissa and Jules are kind of being friends and while they are friends, I'm sorry. Whenever I see Jules, I think of Juley it. I'm like, wait a minute. So Marissa and J they are friends, I'm sorry. Whenever I see jewels, I think of Juliet. And I'm like, wait a minute. So Marissa and Jules are talking and Jules is like, oh, I just want you to know that I'm gonna take care of you

tonight because I know you well. And this isn't you. You look so sad and depleted of energy. My God, girl, make her some burnt mac and cheese or something. She'll be fine. And turn that hot dog frown upside down. Marissa is like, well, yeah, I'm really depressed

because I haven't been away from, I mean, I've been away from the baby because we went to the Hamptons, but I haven't been away from that and the baby and Mack and the other kid. I mean, I'm away from everybody at the same time. And Jules is like, yeah, well, I know, just think of it, it must be so hard.

And you know what else is hard? The way that Sophie won't let me talk about Caroline. I mean, I listen to Sophie all of that time. I was just talking about my dead baby. Yeah, but I mean, if you would talk to about that to me, I would have listened. And then if I had to talk about something, you would listen. I'm like, Sophie, you won't listen. I just don't understand. I'm like, you're like Cheetos. understand my versus like apple Even like you're depressed you would eat the pudding right you would eat the pudding would you eat the pudding guess or now? She's like I will not talk about this anymore

So So then they all go out to dinner and everyone's like cheers to Caroline everyone's like oh You're but together such a wonderful trip Kevin line and Julie's like cheers to Caroline and everyone's like oh you're but together such a wonderful trip Caroline and Julie's like everyone's kissing her ass I don't get it and Julie's upset because Sophie is back like on team Caroline and as you pretty much just mentioned and I'm like Julie there are sisters and sisters and lots that that's just what's gonna happen you just know you can't go up against that. But um, after all that, um, after the very lots of chatter, Adela then says, oh, I have an accent wall. It's been since Christmas

and so I had to fix X. I need to get the get something in the push my pretty little push. So, um, she's talking about that. They're like, what was that? I mean, I'd say, uh, sex, uh, sex, uh, sex, and then it's like, you know, Kianti is airport airplane wine. That was so good. And they're like, what? Why would you say that? And she's like, well, it is airplane wine because in tiny bottles, it is the only wine that stays. You know, it's an issue for coach, not in first class, when we get our own big bottles. And then we cut to, as previously mentioned, we cut to this footage from the cell phone, Caroline

Stahenbury is talking into Julia's cell phone is like, and she's like, Caroline Fleming is literally having a panic attack, because she has to be in coach. And she moves the camera over, and you see Caroline Fleming staring at the camera with such anger and disdain. Like how could you put me here? I don't see any strawberries, blueberries, mushrooms, poisonous and none. I'm forgiving him about little bags. I fear like Darth Vader. Is this how all the polls feel? I like it the restaurant, how Caroline's like.

You shall sit there, you shall sit there. You shall sit there, and Julie, you shall sit here. See, I can be the bigger person, and let her sit next to me. And then she goes, perhaps every night someone else can sit next to me and have the pleasure of my company. But again, no rules. Yeah, so then Adela is talking about, there's wine conversation talks into red wine, white wine,

and it's like, I never had wine before in my life, I've only had white wine. Like, oh, is that your thing you liked white wine? Yeah, I was just forgetting. I was like, that's my part of addiction. And she starts talking about her addiction. Her struggles with it and how she reached, they asked her, do you reach rock bottom?

She's like, well, yes, I, I tried to even suicide. And Julia was like, eh, I cherish life. It's like Julia. Oh, Julia, oh my god. She's like, yeah, so either. It's like, yeah, I tried to commit I was like, yeah, as I tried to commit suicide and then I woke up the next morning and I was like, oh, why am I awake?

And Juliet's like, I cherish my family and my hot dogs are one. I'm like, I'm not so self-ouch. Yeah, don't you think that's obvious? And Adela's like, and then everyone tries explaining to Juliet like she's a baby. They're like Juliet, for them, it's like Juliet darling. You know, it's different shades of upsetiveness or whatever. Like it's a sense of loss and it does like, oh, it's hopelessness.

Well, well, there's always hope. You know, I'm like, you know, for something. You know, maybe my favorite show will be on the night or I don't know, like maybe my husband will give me a hug before, but I don't know something, right? So it means like, let me explain it to you this way. When you are flying on your little people plane and you want some nice glass of Merlot and you all you get is some county which is airport wine. You say thank you you don't say why are you serving me this awful peasant wine. You'd be polite Juliet and that's what you do in this situation.

I don't get it. I mean you're like I don't play a game on yourself phone or something to you felt better? And it does like sometimes you feel like there's no way out. Juliet goes Well, did you find a window or are you there's only low-way out? I mean, I never saw that movie, but I mean I like having costs and everything, but So you know the thing is what Juliet is. I know actually what she was trying to say because a lot of times, you know, people will characterise suicide as self-mush act.

And I get that from an abstract thing. And I would even, I could make a case for that too. But when you're talking to someone who has been through it and has come back, you don't say, well, you're selfish. That's not the point. You know, you have to be empathetic and be like, good for you for not doing it, whatever, because it's not saying a person is selfish. It's selfish in that, you know, it's not, I don't know if you can even say it selfish,

but it's because you're in such a place you're not thinking of like, I'm just going to do this, you know, you do leave people behind, which is where that instinct to say it selfish comes in. But Juliet was just so tone deaf about it all. Yeah, I mean no matter what you think about suicide in general when someone's telling you they committed suicide they're basically coming to you from a place of I need your compassion or they're opening themselves up to you in a way like yeah like. I'm really sharing with you because I want to be friends. You're not supposed to be like, well, that's selfish. Yeah, stupid. I think you did not hear like she was in the throes of addiction. She was not thinking straight.

She couldn't think of anything else. That's the whole point, Juliet. It's not about like chiding her. It's about actually congratulating her for sticking through it, because you're right, there is always a way out and there is always hope. And even if you can't see it, it is there, it gets better. And so she should be congratulated for getting through it

and sharing her story and et cetera, et cetera. So, Vadella. She goes, then instead, Vadella is like, I'm going outside for a smoke. Julie, it's probably like, mm, slower suicide, wow, enjoy yourselfish smoke. So she goes out and she's like, I don't understand why she's so antagonistic.

And Marissa's like, yes, well, she's verbally violent. That's just how she is. Ha, ha, ha, ha was more distracted by the fact that Adele and Marissa went through this rotating door together. I was like, wait, go one at a time. That's crazy. They like crammed themselves in and then like shoved themselves through. I was like, you do that. It was a tiny rotating door. Go one at a time. I'm here for you. So, um, Stan, a Stambury is like, Juliet, don't push, you're pushing and then she, and she goes, Stambury is so sensitive.

She's mad that everybody went outside during her verbal party, her dinner party. And so she tells jewels of all people. She's like, I can't believe they all went out and she was like, yeah, and Stambury goes, is it bad to stab myself at my own dinner party? And Jules goes, yeah, can I slap my breasts?

I'm like, you guys just got finished with a sensitive suicide talk. Too soon. Too soon. One self-ish. Yeah. So then they all pile into some cars that are apparently too hot or too cold,

depending on who you ask. And they're just drunk and they're talking about their bushes and then they're talking about bushes in general and plants and heating. And I don't know, they're just drunk and crazy. And they go home and then it's the morning, which then the music is like, time to get up and it's a new day, it's the morning.

Err, err, err, sneeze that song. I want sneeze, I want holding. Ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, e that something she's like I just want to pop some milk like all right then click so over it break the man wait by the way that nanny is crazy to me I think that nanny is like a little psychotic she's possessive of those kids she wouldn't let Julia touch the kids last week and this week she was like you know it was funny the baby wouldn't stop crying in the middle when I touch her she stopped crying it's almost like I'm the mother now wouldn't she say I'm the mother now I don't want you to cry darling the baby just said mama for the first time I also got rid of all your hot dogs no so then it's breakfast and I'm very good. Shall I sit in the center of the table so everyone has the pleasure of my company?

I don't know. Yes, please. And Fleming is automatically asking for shit from the staff that they don't have. She's like, do you have skin? The one with the red top. No cheese, no eggs, no bacon, no, no, no, no, no, bagels, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, they, for as fancy as this castle, they apparently have no food in it. They just have sausage and kejiri, which is boiled fish and rice. So Fleming is not happy with this. Yes. One eye, oh no.

She's like, this is almost as disappointing as that time I was in America. And I was told that be a castle down the street. And I went in. It'll be a great beautiful, gleaming white castle. And it was just a little fast food restaurant. It was steamed hamburgers, like some sick joke on my entire neighborhood. And then I thought, well, that's all right. I'll get to play some games

in the playground. And I found out very quickly that the slide is actually just a tiny little steamed burger that was disgusting. Slide this. She goes, no eggs. Do we have chickens? In December, it goes, you're going to murder one right now. Okay, do you have honey? No, you get fish and rice bits. You have come tachies. It's so funny because when I go to Copenhagen they just real they come to cheese from wherever they can find it Just for me isn't that so funny isn't that so hilarious you don't have come to cheese you on Scotland do you?

I am a Baroness you know so everybody's getting hot and Jules is like it's hot in here So Stambury is so she's like gonna open a window and Stambury goes do you remember Fleming when you wanted to jump out the window and Marissa was trying to talk to you? On that trip and then someone else was like yeah, everyone wants to jump out of the window when Marissa wants to talk to him and the delegates Oh, I love the Marissa jobs Well, the Sanbury who made the joke about how everyone wants to jump out the window. And no one was backing her. She's like, am I right? Am I right? Am I right, Luke? Anyone? Anyone to the far away? No one? Hello? Anyone?

A Marissa's like, wow, at least Caroline Fleming will say something to somebody's face if she has a problem with them. She's like, ooh, Ben. Yeah. No, Marissa said that she prefers to talk to people to their face. So she, so now all of a sudden, Marissa and Caroline Stenberg are, are, are sniping and then juliette inserts herself and just like little, like,

right, right, right, like, little squirrels going at it. And then Sophie tries to smooth things over by saying, listen, listen, there's so much love in this room. I mean, we all love each other. I have so much love for Marissa. I have so much love for Caroline Sanbury. I have so much love for the waitress.

I have so much love for this Kendri. And you know, Juliet, you know, she's quirky. Do you like it? I'm like, wait a minute. See, you know, she's quirky. Do you want me to say, wait a minute. So you love everyone but me. She's like, well, I just feel like sometimes there's some negativity. She's like, oh yeah, and there's about to be. Cause you love everybody but me.

And then Jules goes, oh Juliet, always is the one to judge. Who does she think she is? Pontius pilot. I was like, oh good Bible burn, babe. You know, I love a Bible burn. Yes. And so that was the big cliffhanger.

What will happen? How will Julia's negativity affect the catchery? So funny. Julia is just going for him now. She's like, wow, yeah, you want to find it? We're gonna find it, because you didn't say you love me. And then, Jules gets up to follow Marissa out. Who's upset?

She goes, hold your crown. Thank you. It's up and go. Like thanks coach. You know, they're all stupid because the truth is they're starting a fight while Caroline Fleming is hangry in the corner waiting to go into town to get a bite. And you know what any moment she's going to just snap and destroy them all. Yes. Oh, can't wait. And that brings us to another end of Watch What Crabbo. We did it!

We did it! Everybody, thank you so much for being here. You know our links, find them at WatchWhatCrabbons.com and to grab our bonus episode, sign up over at Patreon.com. This week is all about Julia Roberts and the beginning of Vanderpump rule season one. So, good check it out if you're interested. We appreciate your support and your love and we will talk to you next time. Hi everyone.

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