Watch What Crappens - #370 TopChef/RHOA: Zodiac Killer

Episode Date: January 17, 2017

Not one, but two surprising eliminations on "Top Chef: Charleston" this week, and we're here to help pick up the pieces. Then it's on to "Real Housewives of Atlanta" where Kenya may be due for some broken window policing. But first, we check in on Bravo's new show, "The First Family of Hip-Hop." 00:04:37 - First Family of Hip Hop 00:20:53 - Top Chef: Charleston 01:00:54 - Real Housewives of Atlanta See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who crap is

Who crap is Who crap is Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much Who crap is Who crap is Kids what happens when they're so happy? Kids what happens when they're so happy? Kids what happens when they're so happy? To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com-watch-watch social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what

crappens that's patreon.com slash watch what crappens. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crappens, the podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to watch and talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker from beside blog.com and the Banta Blender podcast and joining me, as always, is the wonderful and lovely and hopefully very well-rested after this weekend. Ronnie Carram from trashocktv.com and also the Roseprix Bachelor podcast. Hey Ronnie, what's up? Hello, Bane. Hello. Hello. I just also want to say, right at top, top go listen my real housewives of Beverly Hills audiobook recaps They're on the iTunes go find them. I apologize for neglecting to oh, hey, no, sorry's girl

That's a lot of that's a lot of things to have to announce a lot of plugs. It's like Nicholas Cage up in here So speaking of plugs in addition to our usual plugs, which you've already heard, we have a few more. First of all, guess what? Next week is the Watcher Crap in fifth anniversary. That's right, this podcast is turning five, and we are trying to put together a week of fun stuff. We will have some special guests already. We know we've got Brian Moilin,

who's gonna be coming on, which we love Brian Moilin. He is great. We spoke to him about six months ago on this show about Real Housewives of New York City, and we are just going to pick his brain about the state of Bravo since we last chatted. And we are working to get some other guests, other surprises, but don't get too excited

because it's us and we do things last minute. But the other fun announcement we mentioned that we want we're going on a little tour this year. So first stop Bay Area. The plan is to do a show in the Bay Area in February. We don't have the date and we don't have the location but Bay Area fans, people get ready, get excited because we're coming to your neighborhood. I think we'll probably do the show in San Francisco, as opposed to Oakland, per se, but if you live in that area, please tweet at us at what crappens some good venue suggestions or neighborhoods that you feel like would be good for our show. And we're going to be investigating on our own with our own friends and team. But we love all the inputs. So please, if you're

in the Bay Area, if you're in Oakland, San Francisco, San Jose, San Rafael, San something, Napa. San Sally, San Rafael, San-Sumpton, Napa. San-Sally Jesse Rafael. Yeah, cancel your plans to go to NASCAR up in Sonoma and come see us instead. You missed it anyway, suckers. Yeah. So that's basically, that's the fun stuff.

I'm sorry, everyone. My text messages are on. I didn't put it on oh hail now You all did not get a text it was me It was me um yeah, I'll be in what else you want to say you got anything else I got nothing else. Why don't we talk about our shows for today? So today is like a 2.5 Show day because we have real house was of Atlanta show day because we have real house was Atlanta we have top chef which had quite the episode and guess what just last night the first family of

Hip-hop, is that the name of the show first family of hip-hop I think premiered so we are gonna talk we're just gonna sort of give our opinions on that, not really a recap. Where do you wanna start, Ronnie? Where should this crazy, crazy Monday start? I am good with whatever you want. I'm easy, breezy, beautiful girl. You certainly are. Well, why don't we talk about the first family of hip-hop? It's the new show.

I checked it out. I assume you checked it out too. Of course. And what did you think? Well, I don't know if I was expecting the first family in hip hop. It's a very good show. It's like a backbeat of Obama-us.

It was really good. It's very different for Bravo. No, it was very BH1. It was very BH1. it was very vh1 that does not always equate to good in my book I'm not sure that this is an exception to the rule I did not think it was really that bad good I thought it was I thought it was forgettable I really watched it I watched it last night at an hour later I forgot that I even watched it is I watched it last night and an hour later I forgot that I even watched it. Isn't that crazy?

It's literally forgettable to me. I like it. I Didn't really know what to expect and even after I watched it, I still don't really know what to expect. It's basically a family who Used to be famous and I mean, they're still famous, but they used to be like hugely successful. And the first line of the show is, Sugar Hill hasn't had a hit in 30 years,

which I mean is basically the whole episode. I mean, the dad, Big Lee, has taken over and he's like not wanting to do shit. I mean, that guy can barely move the trash off his desk in his office. It looks like his office is in, like it's a size of a trailer, you know, it's really, really tiny and he's a hoarder.

There's just like McDonald's wrappers everywhere and shit, like, it's just, yeah. I'm not sure. I'm not sure how I feel about the cleanliness of this show. Well, what amuses me is that a lot of the bravo liberties that we get these days, we have a lot of people on this network who had achieved fame a few years ago. I had a big hit in 96, or I had a big hit in 2005.

Someone has had fame. Kenya Moore was Miss USA in 92 or 93 or whatever it was. Someone's done something this is like 30 years ago okay this is really stretching the bravo celebrity brand okay now of course the sugar hill gang is hugely influential and so Sylvia Robinson who was the matriarch of this family she is the one who famously found the sugar hill gang and a pizza shop and a pizza shop and they release their first, you know, single rappers delight and then there was the other famous super famous song. I want to say the message

It's not the message everyone's gonna kill me super super famous song But I kind of feel like this show much like family, is kind of coasting off that explosive innovation or music healing. Yeah, that's not even a feeling. I mean, they say it. They're like, we haven't had a hit, but, man, we've got enough hits from the past that are used in commercials or movies, and they're like, that's where we get that page.

True. Yeah, they got, I mean, like, they make enough to get welcome mats with sugar hill, put on it. And they have to get like a sticker to put on the bottom of the pool that says sugar hill. So, you know, I mean, that's more than I'm making. There's not a watch what crap

and door mat out there. I can tell you that much. I'm just wondering, where is the Domino's, Ty and Domino's sugar? I mean, where is the tie in there? That it's a huge opportunity for 30 years. Or it started in a pizza shop. So there's another Domino's ankle.

Really every Domino's, every Domino's should be involved. So I mean, for me, I think the M.O. of this show is pretty obvious. And they don't go out of their way to hide it. Bravo wants to give us the reality TV version of Empire and It's so obvious because they mentioned the word Empire wherever they can they'll be like this ain't just an Empire This is a family or something like that like we're talking about a new Empire now Well, we're gonna take over this Empire and like okay, we get it. You want a big reality TV version of Empire. The problem is Empire is like soapy and silly.

And this one, you know, it wasn't, it didn't check off any of my Bravo boxes that I like. It did not show ridiculous people in the lap of luxury, which I always enjoy. It didn't show anyone that was ridiculously campy. The closest we got was the lesbian Chanel. Love her. Yeah, she's the best.

I'm sorry, but when she came on, when they said Chanel, blah, blah, blah, and I was like, please spell it right, please spell it right, please spell it right, please spell it right, please spell it right, please spell it right, and then it was eight, S-H-A-N-E-L-L. And I was like, God damn it, Chanel. I was like, of course, leave it to the lesbian and the misspeller, damn name.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I just, it wasn't, there wasn't like enough cattyness in it. There wasn't enough silliness, there wasn't enough stupidity. It was just sort of like a, actually more or less a, a pretty nice family. A nice family, upper middle class, try and resurrect a label that's been doing nothing. You know, it just, I don't know, it just didn't really, you know, it just didn't work for me that much. It's not that it was bad, it just was a little dull.

Yeah, I'm not sure where it's gonna go yet. I did like watching it mostly because it was a little lesbian chick, it's hilarious. And she's like, I'm not sure where it's gonna go yet. I did like watching it mostly because it was being chick, it's hilarious. And she's like, I was a huge star. She's got this new girlfriend, this lipstick lesbian Puerto Rican chick she met on Instagram, which, you know what, you go girl. I'm glad that it's not just like Vanderpump rules people

meeting on Instagram. Everybody does it now, you know? Yeah. I mean, I need to start looking hotter on Instagram, but this girl put a heart on one of her posts, and so Chanel started DMing her, and then she moved in, and she's like, oh, this house is disgusting.

So the lipstick check is trying to fix it all up, but Chanel's going through this old box of her stuff, and she's like, here's me in, you know, TV guide, or here's me in the entertainment weekly. And she says, yeah, I had my shot She's got these big Silver teeth. She's like I had my shot, but I blew it I stole from my management company and then went to jail

But this is a new Chanel and I'm like no, it's not Chanel will still sit out of your room So probably still sit from her own house and then wonder where it was later You know, she'll like end up with a garage door opener in the middle of the target. Like, what am I doing with this? She drunk. She seems like she's drunk through half this show.

And then we see in the previews her, like going crazy and crying a lot. So love her. I mean, maybe I could just, if I don't like the rest of it, at least I could fast forward to her scenes because I loved her. She was cracking me up.

Yeah, I mean, I'm happy to see like a nice like Bush Lesbian on Bravo, you know, and she definitely has the most personality out of all these people, but I'm not sure that she's in that she can, she's worth it for me to tune into this show. And I felt there wasn't, there wasn't argument later on because another Instagram person came into the show. One of the one of the sons he is an aspiring record producer and he wants to take over because by the way all the youngins they want to take over the label because the dad is not really doing anything. So so his he's working with new artists and he found this girl on, on Instagram, basically, and he had her over.

And so this guy's girlfriend, a senior, whatever her name is, she gets met and so they have this fight. And it was just, it was so fake. It was just a really, really fake fight. I know on these shows so much of it is producer driven, but when you can see it, when you can see, when you can see how the sausage is sausage is made It's not I don't know why it's a bothers me. Yeah I'm trying to think who else was in here Well the dad needs to just give up the business because he's not even ready to give a shit. He's like Well, after mom died. What's it is mom? It was his mom. My mom was Sylvia is like after mom died I never wanted anything to do with this business and now I'm stuck here. I'm like, okay, that's not really what you want to hear on the first day of work.

Yeah, get the hell out of here. And then all those kids are trying to take it over, but they all have jobs within the company because they're still licensing that music and going on tour. So the son who fought with a girlfriend is a tour booker. So he's like, I'm an artist and a tour booker I'm like, you know, it's like I'm the file clerk and the and also an artist. So it's kind of like watching Poor waiters try to become famous like on Vanderpump rules or something like that Yeah, but you know, they should be maybe further along and then also the dad The girl there's a young girl named Leah. She's like a baby.

And she's really beautiful and she's got a great voice. And they show her recording a track or whatever. And they play it for Big Lee, the dad. And he's like, no, no, no, no, I want Street Hip Hop. That's what they need. That people like things that are familiar. And then they started naming off all of the songs that have been sampled just in the past few years,

which were all great. I mean huge hits. I'm like, yeah, but those, those weren't just like everything else when they came out. They were very original, which is why they're still famous. So I think this guy needs to just go relax. And Leah had a point. She's like, well, I don't want to start seeing and being like yeah, I'm from the street when the truth is I'm like from a Primal class New Jersey suburb, you know, and he's like, but we're a street family. And she's like, yeah, But I'm not street. It's like when 50 cent was still acting street and he'd had to mansion in suburban Connecticut. It's like loses some of its Some of its authenticity after a while. Well, maybe they can, you know, change from street

and just be cold asack, you know, and it could be like a new kind of. Yeah, cold asack. No, instead of being like, you know, bullets and pigs and stuff, it can be like, I don't know, I was walking down the street. There was a puddle. And then I jumped over, what a muddle.

You see just like make it really white and sad and then put like a little Behind it. I don't know see what you can sell. We need some cold assac hip hop. I know cuz where is Macklemore when we need him most? I live on a I live on a really busy street and there are always white guys in Big fancy cars with their windows rolled down and big, big giant tires on their tiny cars, you know, these idiots. And they're driving around with their cars, dumping and they're playing like the most street hip hop, you know, and it's always like some scrawny little white guy trying to be badass. So I hope for cold, sick, cold , sad hip hop, just so those guys have something appropriate to listen to you because

Yeah, I think it's on Fairfax. Don't need to be playing Street Hip Hop. They need some good colda sack music. Yeah, we're from the colda sacks That's right. By the way, I just want to clarify something because you know, I'm like my own like Copy editor here. I was trying to remember the other sugar sugar hill song and I was saying the message it is the message but it's not by sugar hills by grand master flash. However, Sylvia Robinson was the driving force behind that song too, which is why I was thinking of them both together. So for those of you who were like, no, it's not sugar hill gang. You were correct, but it is Sylvia Robinson. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. will be Robinson. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I'm looking through like smoky Robinson. Wow. I mean, that's another issue with covering

this show, I think for us, we're so in the housewives world, you know, and just the silly that kind of world that I don't even know what the hell they're talking about half the time. I mean, I'm half Lebanese and half white. And I grew up in El Paso, Texas. So you want to talk to me about some Selena. You want to give Selena's family a show? OK, I would probably know some of those. But this I just, I'm just ignorant, you know, I don't really know anything going on or who anybody is.

And I don't really care. I'm like, that song's stupid. Yeah, I mean, one of the reasons why I tune into Bravo really is a certain degree of escapism, right? And I enjoy the campy delights of the network. So I want people to be either caddy or over the top or ridiculous. Within reason, I don't want them to be over the top for the sake of being over the top, I want them to be a natural thing, like a Ramona singer, you know, or like a Kenya more, perhaps you

could even argue for Shirei. But if they're not like, you know, colorful enough characters and they're not, you know, sort of wealthy enough where we, you know, you can just sort of take them down. And it's funny, I'm not even, I'm not even sort of, I'm not even, yeah, I'm not even like a classist, it's not even a classist thing in terms of like, oh, let's take down the rich people. But, for instance, it's like way more fun to take down the people on summer house than it is to take down people who are just like middle class.

I don't know what it is. It just is. Yeah. Because you're rooting for the people who are middle class. Like, I'm actually rooting for them. Like I'm rooting for Leah to become famous and her lesbian cousin. I'm rooting for all those guys. And that's awkward to watch on TV. I want to see them crash and burn, but I don't. I agree with that. But there were some funny things. I'd like to

and Big Lee was his ex-wife, Vanetta is coming. Leah's mom is coming over to the house. He sees her on the camera in front of the house. And he's like, oh no, Vanetta coming. Hi, everything. I don't have any money. Put everything away. And he's literally putting stuff away on his desk, like a paper weight.

And he's like moving stuff out of the way. So Vanetta can't come in and try and ask for it. And she, she, she, she conducted that. She comes in and she's like, hey, and he's like, I don't got no money. She's like, now come on, I'm just coming to say hi. And he's like, I'm broke. I don't got no money.

And she's like, this is why I always say don't rely on a man. I'm like, well, you're not here to smell the spilled McDonald's coffee on the rug. Yeah. Yeah. So that was really cute. And that guy in general is pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

I just, it's to me, it's to me, he's funny on a, on a, grating on a curve, you know, we're looking at it like, like, because there's no one else is really very funny on this show, you know, except for maybe the Chanel, you know, yeah, Chanel's really good. I don't know. You know, I'm willing to keep tabs on it. I'm not sure if I'm willing to keep tabs on it.

I'm not sure if I'm willing to watch it every week, but if people let us know, like actually the show is getting really good, sometimes these shows do stumble out of the gate. I did not like Random Pump Rules the first episode. I get it. I can be just like Vicky Gunvalson when it comes to new things. I have my walls up to make Bethany Metaphors. I push them out and I I lash out but you know I can riddle of. I lash out. I liked it okay I was

laughing while watching it which is really all I asked for but I didn't walk away I walked away with pages of notes but they weren't like a bunch of fun things you know like people I want to make fun of or whatever. Maybe Chanel a little bit in the future just because they lack our teeth talk. And I like that she tells, she says things like she said to her girlfriend, she goes, you like this bed baby is shock proof, which you know, shit like that's hilarious to me. But you know, the thing is, you know, the show is asking us to care about which one of these kids is going to take over

This record company and it's a record company that's not doing anything So it's the stakes are so extraordinary low, you know, the entire preview of coming up this season was Basically one scene of snull being like you did me wrong and then the rest is like I'm gonna take over I'm gonna take over. He's not good to take over. I'm gonna take over. I'm like, I don't give a fuck who takes it over Well, one positive thing about this show is that they said empire so many times Maybe the dog will get some business, you know Maybe Okay, well then let's ff through that. We don't need that then if we're not into it. What else? Yeah. We got Top Chef in real housewives of Atlanta.

Ronnie, which would you like? I chose I chose first family of hip hop to start off. So you choose the next one. Um, let's go with Top Chef next. Whoa. We always do the housewives first. And it'll be fun to talk about Top Chef. Yeah, reversees. Um episode of Top Chef, big, big episode. It was, in fact, it was an hour and 15 minutes long. It was literally a big episode. Literally, it's big. Letter, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, on TV, like I'll probably try and make a hip hop song later. Maybe I'll try and make some cold to sack rock. Or if when Project Runway was on, I got a sewing machine, I mean, it's still on,

but when it was on in my house, I got a sewing machine and just started sewing the shit out of things. And then, you know, whenever top chef is on, I go into cook mode. And this is Southern Year, and I love some Southern food. So I've been making so much Southern food.

None of my clothes fit. I've been making biscuits like crazy. I think I finally perfected my biscuits using and you were and didn't you mention last week you were in spot you you put cream cheese in the biscuits inspired by the lady. Yes, I learned how for that super white lady family. Oh, and that was good. And I think that that's a secret. This time I did the regular, you know, flour, a little cornstarch baking powder baking soda. And then a half a half a box of cream cheese and then some hats of butter. And then once the mix was done, I put some cold shredded cheddar in there and some green chili, some chopped up green chili. They were amaz, they were so good. And I also made fried chicken this week

because we went to have lunch with our friends the other day, me and Ben, and ate the fried chicken, which I could not believe it was so good. So yeah. Yes, it was really good. And I was shocked because that's like, it's like, it seems like snooty Northern California type of play. It's a restaurant that's actually owned by Australians and it's on the sunset strip and it's very beautiful. It's very quaint and lovely, but it's just not the place that you'd expect to get a really amazing piece of fried chicken. Yes, and it was a little different like it was totally white meat. There was something very light about the crisp to it. But anyway, so I came home and got obsessed with

fried chicken and slaw. So I made that. So for breakfast today, I had fried chicken slaw and cheddar chili bet biscuits. That sounds amazing. Could I actually seriously put in a request to try one of your biscuits? Sounds really naughty. Yeah. Am I going to see you this week? I should just leave one for you in the fridge because they're actually good reheated.

I don't, I don't know if I'm going to see this week. I mean, I could try to see you. Anything for a biscuit, Ronnie. Well, if you're going to be passing my house, if you're gonna be around here, give me a call and I'll bring it outside. Okay, we'll work on that. You know, it's funny talking about all this food. I have to mention, this has nothing. Now this is totally unbrawval related, but I went to dinner last night at a restaurant here in LA called Here's Looking at You. And it was so good. I actually feel compelled to talk about it on this podcast because I feel like I want to use my platform. I want to be the moral streep of food for Los Angeles at this moment. I'm using my platform to tell everyone about this restaurant because it was so delicious and everyone should go.

It's called Here's Looking at You. I got a cocktail. I got a compassionate restaurant, Ben. It was compassionate to my stomach, I'll tell you that much. I'm telling you it was phenomenal. And they have these cocktails. One of the cocktails I posted on my Instagram, in fact, was this thing, and this ties into our southern thing.

It's sort of tasted like an old fashioned, but it involved sweet potato liquor, which I didn't know was a thing, maybe they made it, but it was a sweet potato liquor, and came with a toasted marshmallow on top. And let me tell you something, I really, I did get it for the toasted marshmallow. I know it's a gimmick. This was a gimmick that not only worked, I feel like it's going to revolutionize my thoughts on cocktails, Because when you

bite, take a bite of toasted marshmallow and then you sip this sort of old-fashioned kind of cocktail, it is just perfection. So everyone, go toast some marshmallows and put them in your cocktail and then apply for top chef. Well, I feel like you need to call the manager over at that restaurant and say, look, since I'm real streeping it, I want to have some empathy and compassion for you. Your name is too much. You know, but he's going to remember that name. Here's a hashtag that name. Like, how are you going to hashtag that on Twitter? It's like the first family of HIP top, HIP top. They're hashtag for Twitter. You know how they put it up on

Facebook. They're like, hashtag the first family of hip-hop. Like, guys, no one's going to be able to fit a tweet into that. It's a character for each. It's a character for each character on the show. Yeah. Yeah. There are like 45 people on the show. Um, tag SupercalifragilisticExpiletDalidosis. Like, oh, please, if Mary Poppins did that, she'd have no Twitter followers. I just to get back to Top Chefs stuff. I didn't want to mention, I don't think we mentioned it last week. Edna Lewis, the cookbook author who was featured on the previous episode of Top Chef, remember they had to get inspiration from her book.

Because of Top Chef, her cookbook got a huge bump in sales. It went all the way up to number five on Amazon's best seller list. Isn't that cool? Girl, I can't wait till we die. Maybe we'll become famous. Oh, yeah, the crap in glossary is gonna skyrocket to the top of the ebook downloads our Eric a Jane and James Kennedy songs will skyrocket Did you say you downloaded this Edna Lewis book? No, I didn't. Okay. I thought for some reason.

I kind of feel like I should at this point. I can write it off. It's fine. It's definitely my kind of food. I really need to get obsessed with somebody healthy because I mean, seriously, really seeing what goes into all this food is just amazing and disgusting. I mean it's all

cheese and butter and heavy cream and buttermilk and yeah I mean it is really not healthy but damn it's good. I feel like there's no good healthy cookbook author out there. You know if you go to Barnes and Noble and you look at the section where it's like healthy it's always I'm skinny bitch being like the all pen cap diet. All you do is eat pen caps. I'm like, I don't want to do that. Well, living in LA, we know a lot of gorgeous, really thin, truly, and shape people. And I eat with them all the time. And let me tell you how they eat. They eat like eaten sass soon from the real housewives of Beverly Hills, where she brings her own damn juice

to dinner or you know, like orders water and then doesn't eat she doesn't they don't eat so of course a healthy cookbook isn't going to be good it's like steamed some vegetables you know and then I don't know I wish to cash you up until it's milk. I feel like I feel like there are opportunities out there to break away from the pack of all the skinny bitches with their cookbooks. I want something that gives me the satisfaction of a bear for contest cookbook, but the value, the personal value of an Ellie Krueger. But anyway, we should talk about Top Chef. Yeah, okay, let's talk about top chef. Sorry, that was my fault.

I really derailed it with my, here's my... No, I love to talk about food. I love it, and you're my friend who actually cooks. So I love to talk about it with you, because my other friends are like, Why didn't you do that? That's gross. It's got a restaurant. We should cook a dinner together again, by the way.

We haven't done that in forever. I know, we should. We should cook a dinner together again by the way. We haven't done that in forever. I know. We should. We should do Southern Southern style. Cook a dinner for two. Have a little tough stuff. Yes. You know I'll make a whole Thanksgiving dinner for one person.

I love it. What we actually should do is we should find get one of those top chef cookbooks and cook some of those recipes and we can tell people how they turn out. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. That would be a fun bonus. Yeah, so this week's episode of Top Chef, it started off with a sudden death quick fire dialing.

Not here, so by any sub-adapump, but you're the unspirited. Sorry for manipulating you into dying suddenly, darling. Well, we knew this was going to be a weird episode because it opened post elimination, you know, after last week's elimination. And it started with Kat Suji. And I was like, Oh, God, here he goes because Kat Suji is just a little bitch now. I mean, I guess he was always a little bitch, but he's going out of his way to be a jerk to people just to see if he can make them mad.

And he actually started saying something nice, which I was like, oh, this is a full moon episode. She was like, I'm mad that they were all talking about Amanda because she got kicked off. And they're like, oh my gosh, she was crazy, but she was nice. And they're like, yeah, her bangs, but she was nice. And he's like, oh, that Amanda girl, like, you know, she's always faking. Like, I don't know. I don't know, but she didn't know how good she was.

Wow, cats. CG hugs. Cats you know something I noticed about cats. CG this week which I'm sure many people have already noticed you know he has he's he's going for a look he's going for like this old school almost like pervershop look like his hair slick back pomade and he's always very dapper. He does his dapper thing, but he doesn't actually, to me, he never reads his dapper. He just looks like a guy who's dressed up,

but I noticed his look, he's so trying to sell this look to us that he is the only one there who unbuttones his chef's coat to make sure you can see his tie. And, it's been there. It's more expensive because it's a clip on, so I want you to see it for some reason just annoyed me It just it felt really contrived like this is my image and I'm gonna force this image on you

This is the way I want you like I think first of all, you know gosh He's he's doing all this cooking is in a certain tie. I sort of didn't really appreciate it every week That's crazy. I'm at second of all You know no one else no one else has their, their, their chef code open like that. You're the only one just trying to go for this looking. It bothered me. Yeah. I think he also, I think in addition to top chef, he also watches Food Network star where they're like, you need a star. What's your angle? What's your angle? You need some horn-rimmed glasses and maybe only cook food in a microwave for college kids. You need to be more afraid of kimchi.

Okay, I made some ceviche. Okay, what we need from you is we need you to pretend you're on food never-star and not touch. Okay, whoa, what's this raw fish? This is crazy. Let's put a flame to it in my right. Imagine if food network star had to do the challenge from last night. They would have been so confused. Like, preserved layman. Why would you need to preserve a lemon? Just put it in the refrigerator. Is this a refrigerated lemon? I'm cooking. What the heck? How's that a special? This is the craziest lemon I ever tasted. Preserved lemon? I mean, you're eating the rind. What sort of craziness is this? I never heard of that. Okay. I'll put in my meatloaf

So let's see here. This was a horoscope challenge And so they had to do something under their side so there's water air and earth. And there's like this giant bear guy named what's his name? Michael Sumerusti? Yeah, he's developed into a bear over the seasons. He was originally on top chef masters as a cub, I guess you could say. Maybe he was even an otter, but he is now developed into a burly bear. He's a bitchy bear too, because he looks like he's going to be all straight and nice. And then he's like, growl and bitchy. He's like, oh, yes, big dirty bear. I like it. And he's like, oh, that bear looks like Captain Planet. And then they show

Sheldon standing, listening to him and he goes, Captain Planet. Sheldon's such a weirdo. I think it wasn't Michael Sumerusia. I think it was because he saw all the elements. Oh, I just wrote that captain. I wrote giant bear, Shelton, Captain Planet three times. Michael Sumerusia, by the way, he is the chef at Providence here in Los Angeles, which is known to be the best restaurant

in the city, and it is quite exquisite. So he can be as bearer and bitchy as he wants, but he can serve up that food. As long as he keeps serving it up, I will be happy. That's a good video. I feel like it's kind of, I don't like it. I feel like he wants to go back to macaroni and cheese and his beard. You know, he's like one of those guys who like eat and then get some crumbs in there It's probably like a ritz peanut butter cracker in there somewhere. I'm very pro Michael Samarist actually

I did not find him to be bitchy. I actually found him I actually liked his complaints when he had them he was like He was bitchy in a good way like I liked it. He was and by bitchy I mean, you know on this show especially when you're in other chef, which they all are, I guess, as the judges, but I just feel like they wouldn't understand the importance of sensitivity because every week it seems like we find out someone else was a heroin addict, you know, like everyone's got such issues in the kitchen. Like they're all such a fucking mess that you would think that the higher ups

ass would be nicer, but they're even meaner because that's how shots are. That's how they jump in U.S. Well, I just prefer a direct insult as opposed to what Hugh H.S. and what he says last name. His smug smarmy, wow, did you think about not over cooking this? Like, thanks you. Were you concerned that the Beats would discuss to me to my core? No. Have you considered becoming a librarian instead? Because I think you need to read some books on how to cook. Oh, great one. Yeah, this one, this one I liked. So they, this is a sudden, this is a sudden death challenge and it's a zodiac challenge. So I'm just glad it wouldn't about serial murder because

the show can get gross. Well, I'm surprised they weren't saying in honor of the zodiac, we're going to have you all make different cereals because the zodiac serial killer. Well, the scary thing is that Padma can actually pull that off, you know, I'd be like, okay, I'll watch that. Yeah. Because she says everything like such a fucking mantin follower anyway, you know. She's like, today's challenge is based on the horoscope. Do any of you read your horoscope? And John's the only one. He's like, yeah, I am. She's like, would you say you have very emotional? John, he's like, well, I used to be he's like, I'm a Scorpio. And that means I'm a creature

that's on the ground. And I have this tale that I'm like a scorpion. Fucking me. Like I have this tale that comes back over and starts stabbing people. But then after I went to therapy, I learned that I'm an eagle. And I could soar above it. I'm like, you know, Eagles are fucking vicious, right? Yeah. And I, yeah, I learned that I'm an eagle and I could soar above it. I'm like, you know, eagles are fucking vicious, right? Yeah. And I, yeah, I was just about to make a really stupid snarky comment. That was just snarky for snarky. He's like, well, Scorpion's don't turn into eagles.

I'm like, that's a good one, Ben. I'm a very Harry Potter fan over there. Yeah. So they, so basically, I guess, I don't follow astrology very closely, but everyone is depending on what where you are in the zodiac, you have a sign like a year, meaning like a fire sign or a water sign and whatever those. You're too smart to fall for astrology. I'm stupid and I fall for it every time.

I did this numerology thing the other day I found online where you look up your numerology from your birthday and your name or whatever. And so I looked mine up and I'm like, this is me. I'm like, they understand me, this is perfect. And then I realized I was reading the wrong one. I'm such a sucker, I believe everything. Oh goodness. So yeah, so they had to basically cook something

that represented their their sign And so that was basically Lena Dunham's like I'm a bitch I kicked a female dog Lena Dunham is I'm not hating her because I get her. She's like an angry girl who probably just lost 200 pounds like she has that You know external sleeping bag that I have and she's like really emotional and she can't help it and she's kind of bitchy but she wants to not be that way like I like her I like the complexity of this girl. I do I understand her probably feeling misunderstood by everything that she does like even if

she probably listens to this podcast she's like they, they don't get me. Like, I see her frustration of not being understood or she's like something, something happens. She cooks some shitty chicken livers and they're like, this is bad. And she's like, no, I'm really good chef. And the frustration bubbles up. And then it turns into whining. You know, you know, one thing I'm surprised about is I thought she was just going to be a straight up bitch, but she's actually more of a whiner. That's surprising to me. Yeah, she's a cryer, you know, she's always feeling things super deeply and like she feels, she feels offended very deeply, but then she also, she feels everything very deeply. And it's just hilarious to me, but I can't truly root for her like I want to because she says things like this. I don't get pressure cookers. Okay. As we've said a million times, you're on top chef.

You need to be practicing at least a month before you get here on how to cook everything in a goddamn pressure cooker girl. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's actually shocking that top chef has not already had a pressure cooker challenge. Maybe they already have enough for gone about it, but you would think considering so many chefs seem to have problems with pressure cookers that they would be like, all right chefs, today you have to make a five-core salad meal and you can only use a pressure cooker, you know, and then they'd be stuck using it and they'd be like a pressure cooker. I mean, you can't make a poached salmon in a pressure cooker, so whatever, they'll complain

about anything. I can't do you try them all. Well, see who turns a pressure cooker, so whatever they'll complain about anything. I can't do a lot of two tons and pressure cooker. This was also super weird because it was very top chefy of me this week because I had bought the flour because I wanted to make more biscuits. And last week I made spetzel, which is so random, but I made it because I have my best friend used to be married to this German dude named Sven, and he would make a spetzel when we were drunk, and it was amazing. So I was like, how do I make that again? So I looked it up and I made me some spetzel and then it was on the show

and I was like, whoa, I've really had a week of flower. Well, in a week of flower here. Well, not only was that by the way in 20 minutes, that's bullshit. Yeah, and well, not only was there a spetzel, it was it was Emily herself who made the spetzel, if I remember correctly, she was she was making something. She was pan-searing a pan-roasting a chicken and she's like, you know what, I've got five minutes left. Let me make a spetula. And you can't do that. You have to make the dough and then boil it and then like strain it and then fry it. You can't do that in 20 minutes. Plus make everything else that she made. So I'm a little confused by her. I'm spending too much time on this girl, but I'm just obsessed

with her for some reason on the show. Like every thing she'd every look she gives, I'm a little confused by her. I'm spending too much time on this girl, but I'm just obsessed with her for some reason on the show. Like every thing she'd, every look she gives, I'm obsessed with her. All right, I love her. She has a standout personality for better or worse. Another person with a standout personality was, is Jim. Jim, our sweet official chef of the governor's mansion of Alabama.

And he for his to he had to cook something of fire sign. Here comes MJ's slider delivery. Can you hear it outside? Big old big old delivery today. So he had to do something for his fire sign. So what did he do? He served up a big watery bowl of broth with like a pepper in it. It's like, well, it's fiery. Didn't he use watermelon too? It was like a, I don't

remember. It was like a watermelon consummate. Yeah, I guess like some weird watermelon thing. Well, I don't know a lot about this, but I'm sure glad I did it. What a fun day. And then how Padma talks to everybody. She's like, did you mean to have a watermelon in there or whatever? And he's like, I sure did. I love a watermelon. And then they just look at him and walk away. She gets him a dirty look and walks away.

Yeah, they're like, you know, you know what the first half of the word watermelon is? I sure do. It's water. And what's your sign? Fire. OK. He's still, he actually said he goes, You know what the first half of the word watermelon is? I sure do, it's water. And what's your sign fire? Okay. He actually said he goes, well my sign, my sign is fire.

And it takes a lot to get me mad. I mean, I don't get mad at anything. Well, I was really mad when John Snow died. But that's not real mad. I'm like spoiler alert. Jim though, get the fuck off the show now That guy I can imagine him sitting there on the couch with his wife just sobbing and throwing things like I can't believe them I'm just imagining like the entire time being really chipper during during game. Oh, what a great show look at them all badly out

This is great others are dragging that's also look someone just got say that's what what the fuck them all badly out. This is great. Oh, there's a dragon. That's also, oh look someone just got stabbed. That's what what the fuck they killed. I know. H.P.O. Go. I'm gonna change this channel H.P.O. now. How dare you. More like H.P.O. wins down the drain. God fucking damn it. The guilt just now. Deer sex appeal. Goodbye. Love Game of Thrones. It's like that time I turned to to two needed girls and there was a boy like what the hell is that? What the fuck is up with that HBO? Well, man, now I love Jim's anger. Like just thinking of Jim's anger. It's like total fan fiction because yeah, he doesn't get mad at anything. Yeah. Um, so

let's see, let uh, spetzel judge. Okay. So the bottom, so to, oh, sorry, go on, you go on, because I didn't, I was just gonna read stuff that they made, but it's really just a list of shit. So I don't really have to do it. I like to actually, I like to remember what they mean, because so the thing is I didn't take notes for top chef because um, uh, cause generally we just sort of go over it sort of at the end of our show. So, but if you tell us what we made, it comes back to me immediately and I can always chime in with some commentary. Um, yes. I am right now texting Julie and Brandy to see if they'll come on Vanderprung rules and they're going to be on some gate crews or something next week so they can't.

So, I'll try and get him again. Damn it. I thought that was going to be good news. Damn you, Julie and damn you, Brandy. Love you. Come next time. They're getting you. They're getting you gin mad now.

Julie and Brandy killed Jon Snow. Now why? So let's see. Um, bum bum bum bum bum bum bumop. So they made Jamie Jamie lay on chop with pepper salad. Uh, Jamie's a tattoo guy. He's like, I was, I'm inspired to do the zodiac because my wife sends me zodiacs every day in my text messages. He is the biggest top chef cliche we've ever had. I've decided he, it anything that you expect he's got the tattoos I was doing today. I ruined He's got a little bit of this all of my little girl. I'm gonna go I be dead right now

And then he's got his wife and one of my wife. I'll be dead right now for one for the cookie I'll be dead right now everything is like everyone for this We never know if you want for Kleenex. I'll be dead right now It's like shut up Jamie and then but when they gave him this whole like, we start to talk, I think it was around now these hearts are about, I was on heroin. I was at John George, I was on, I mean, by the way, how many people at John George

wind up on heroin? I feel like every episode of Top Chef, yeah, I was cooking for John George and, I went to fun heroin. I went up on heroin. It's something about the prep work at John George. It drives people, so when he started doing that, I was like, this is weird because it was after the Quick Fire because Jamie won immunity with the Quick Fire.

He actually... He had the best dish. So I was like, this is weird because people only talk about their heroin addictions if they're about to go home. I don't understand. Well, you know, Jim's heroin was John Snow. So exactly. I only got me, but I can't get my heroin. I need to be more in my jobs now.

I won't read all those because we're going to be doing this podcast for 20 hours. But basically the bottoms were Jim, which I mean, at least, you know, at least someone made him admit it. Jim, who was it? Jim, was it Lena Dunham? I think it was. Yeah, Lena Dunham. They didn't like lead. And it was John. Jim Silva to Oh, with Fitchy, Fitchy Bear was like, that was unrealized. Underrealized. And he was like, okay. So he had to do it.

Oh, John was not about that. That's right. Silva did, I can't remember what he did all of a sudden. I feel like it was some bean thing. Well, they all did a beef tartar because they all had these same ingredients for this. So they had to do a beef tartar. And he did a braised beef tartar in

beets. Right. And it looked like a bloody, it just looked like a bloody bowl of meat. It did. And there was like, and there was controversy because he was doing a tataki style. Like, ooh, it's supposed to be tartar, but he's going to sear it for 10 seconds. Ooh, wow. So, yeah, that's what I'm just gonna show. Yeah, like you have three minutes to make a stake. The hell. Yeah, I, um, Well, what was funny to me is that when they, they were given 20 minutes and, and I think that Emily...

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You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. Suggested something like, well why don't we do a pansier? And they're like, that's ridiculous. We only have 20 minutes. I'm like, how long can we cook them for just a day for, please? So they did the tartar.

Then she did her tartar with beet chips and potato chips because they always need a crunch. Jim just did. Adam had got mad. She was like, did you mean for your beet chips to be so aggressive? She was like, well, yeah, because I mean, they're, I mean, they're chips. So, you know, chips are like supposed to be,

yeah, I stand by it. I stand by it. Chips, I stand by it. Seasoning on chips. Adam was like, can't let it speak in. And then Jim just did a pretty normal, normal one, right?

He did the, right? Jim, yeah, Jim was like, I forgot with Jim did actually. It was the point was he means and it was like really small. So when they served it, there was like this big long rectangular plate and then like a little dollop at the end. And Pam's like, did you mean to make so little tartar? Is that true? I sure need that like simple. and then the guest judge was like well that's simple all right Damn Shady shady simmercy He was so let's see the loser was Jim so he was he was out of there and I was so sad for Jim

I I really I really love Jim and I feel like it's just further proof that having a positive attitude does not do shit for you So why waste your time, you know? Yeah, I was very bummed out about it. You know, actually, a lot of people are bummed out because I feel like a few people tweeted. It was like, we're like, oh my god, can you believe about Jim? I'm like, the episode air two hours ago. Why? Why?

I know, people did. Someone did that for the bachelor. They were like, well, the wifey is. And I was like, oh, come on. I have to sit through the rest of this knowing you wins. Come on. But it actually was OK because when people were like, Jim, I was like, oh, now the episode's ruined.

But then it was just a sudden death quick fires. There was still plenty of people for me to get to be engaged in. Well, next is the real challenge, the main challenge. So Padma comes out and she's like, in our next challenge, you might find yourself walking the plank. She's like, there was a man, a scary man, a man with a giant, dirty beard. And I was like, Oh, no, it was finally a

Salman, the rest of the challenge girl. beard and I was like, Oh, no, it was finally a Salman resty challenge girl. She's admitting it. She's coming clean finally. But this was a pirate challenge and basically they have to go on this treasure hunt with maps and guessing clean. Yeah, kind of amazing. Like the elasing race is like the laziest people in the world are chefs. They're gonna do shit. Kassuji was like, oh, I got a run These are people who could barely do the quick fire last week where they had to pick one item from the pantry at a time I'm like I have to go back for apples. Where's me look? It's like five feet away So then it's like I trip carrying an egg. I cannot move for another week I to me was very clear that this was all shot over a weekend because, you know,

it was very, they didn't have to go to Whole Foods, you know, the, the, the challenge of place in the, in the kitchen. This was just like, okay, the main staff is going off to do something and here are PAs. You come up with a challenge for them. Okay, how about some of the pirates and Zodiac signs? Okay, I main staff is going off to do something and here are PAs, you come up with a challenge for them. Okay, how about some of the pirates and Zodiac signs? I don't know. Okay, I guess that works. Hopefully it has put a ban on our show from coming in there for another episode because

we make a goddamn mess every time we get in. Yeah, so they had to go running around Charleston finding these treasure boxes and it was like first coming for a serve, you know, because each box had its own unique ingredients. So if you were the last last you would probably get stuck with the crappy ingredients so in anticipation of this there were three teams and there was one team had Jamie Emily and John on it and John's like okay here's what we can do if we just have crappy reads we'll just give it to Jamie because you got immunity and he'll just make some crappy thing out of it and that's the way it's going to be and I'm like but I don't

agree and like but she didn't actually say as she was just in her head. Yeah. Emily did not say, I think it's important to know that Emily did not say any of this. Now she said it by his back. And she was right. I think that she's correct. Yeah. Because John is an asshole. And you don't just throw something, you know, you don't put it so that everyone someone asks you is all the crappy ingredients. They still mars their record. You can't see anything. She was saying, yeah, but she was saying to us, she's like, oh, well, glad John got his lobster. Glad he got his truffles because no one else wanted that, but he did. So glad, you know, she every past she says she's so passive aggressive. And then she gets straight up aggressive aggressive later, but she just looks like a

fucking idiot. Yeah. I think in general with Top Chef, anytime there's a team challenge, and people try to quote unquote strategize, like, oh, well, we can do this because we have this sort of situation, you know, Jamie has immunity.

So we'll be okay, because we get the shit things to Jamie. It always backfires. I mean, challenge after challenge after challenge. It's just, it's not a show where you can really employ strategy. You just have to cook as best as you can. Well, in this episode, Tom got on somebody later for their terrible strategy.

Yeah. And it was actually regarding this because he was like, well, what would they do that? They didn't use the strategy because what they should have done was have her come on with that in this mat, but they didn't do it. So what are you going to do? Well, he made a good point, which is that they thought that they were being smart by giving the guy with immunity, all the shitty ingredients. But what happens is that he's stuck making a really shitty dish, which caused them all to lose. Yes. But she did too. I mean, she's barely hanging on by a thread. She's lost a lot. I mean, she's always, she's in the bottom a lot. And then she does things like stands up for deep fried. What was it last? Chicken lovers, chicken lovers. Yeah.

And they were like, did you do this on purpose? And she's like, I stand by that. Even though she totally didn't do it on purpose. So she's making a lot of mistakes on this one. Yeah. I mean, although I have to say, I mean, you know, who, you know, who always loves standing by her work is Miss Casey. Man, she does not like criticism. And that's been an's been an ongoing thing with her for seasons. I mean, sometimes she can take it, but for this week, for instance, they had these scallops

and top chef scallop can really take down a lot of people. Scalops have been at the heart of many a controversy. I mean, going back to Ike at that in that Chicago restaurant, you talk about Jamie with her scallops. And now we have Casey with the scallop situation. She decided to serve her scallop raw. And as Tom noted, you know, that scallop was sitting around in a treasure box for a few hours. You know, it's like, yeah, you don't serve that raw. Yeah. And she really did stand up for it. That they were like, that was disgusting. Did you mean for that to taste like old expired

boogers and she's like, well, yes, those were fresh. And we checked them 10 times and they were fresh. So I stand by it and they're like, no, they weren't. She's like, yes, they were. They were fresh. And she's looking around like someone's going to come to our defense and Tom's like, they're not fresh. And look, they're swimming around. She's like, she's like around like someone's gonna come to her defense and Tom's like, they're not fresh in the, they're swimming around. She's like, I mean, I will go to my grave

saying how fresh they are. Now, excuse me, I've had diarrhea for the past four hours, ever since I tried my scalp. I tell you, I now have Pepsi. I thought they just tasted like poop because I was smelling poop as I made them because I was on the toilet the whole time. I feel bad for her because she's one of those people who wants it so bad and she just seems like she goes home and cries, you know, and I kind of want to hug her. But then she does things like speed walks in a mom raincoat. It's like a bright pink raincoat tied around her head, you know, she's the only one with

a raincoat, first of all. She's all prepared. The Brooke had one too. Come on. Oh, yeah. That's why they get a little. The rest of them had little temps. Yeah.

They got for the PA. It's like little plastic bag attempts. Like, ladies and the bus stop. I think there were only speedwalking to be nice to Katsuki because he literally could not move. What? So let's see. Who else got in trouble at the end here. The two teams that were

on the bottom were Brooks team and John's team. John was the red team, I think. And John made a lobster dish that they actually liked. They liked it, right? They liked his. They did not like Emily's. She made a lobster or something. And she made something that they found was very bland. I don't remember exactly what it was. It was a lobster chowder with chicken skin Yeah, they called it a bunch out or at one point bad. I called it my chowder Padma was not having it She especially when they were chasing she was basically like can you believe this shit? I'm Padma Lakshmi and they're serving me this bullshit right now

This is top chef not not top scallop. Yes. And she told Jamie, she's like, oh, you made chicken satay with fennel and oranges. Well, you have immunity. At least you did something good with it this time. Damn. And then they hit it as dish anyway. So well, his whole thing, the reason why his went awry,

it's that they seem to indicate, is that someone turned off his grill, and so the chicken was sticking to it, so he's like, all right, Plan B, just rub it. I'm like, why don't you just grill some more? I didn't understand. I don't understand. I think it takes the grill time to heat up.

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. It was bizarre But I also feel like A toaster oven does not necessarily necessarily mean death for chicken satay You could probably still like a good chicken satay and in a toaster oven Yeah, but it sounded like the real issue was with the sauce he made It was just like clawing and also unoriginal. I think they were very uninspired by it Yeah, they were they were just uninspired by it. Yeah.

They were just unhappy. But John, when he was explaining what happened, he was saying, yeah, we gave him these ingredients and, you know, and then I made this lobster thing. And then I'm like, okay, that's not what happened. Basically, I was doing all the lobsters for John and I didn't get to make my soup. Yeah. And no one's going to give, no one's going to take points off from John. I see what she was trying to do because if they're in the bottom, she's trying to throw a John under the bus. So she'll get saved because she knows that the chicken guy can't go home. But they're not going to kick John off when they liked his dish and

didn't like yours. And if you spent all your damn time doing his lobsters, then you're the sucker. Yeah. And also she used the lobster. So she wasn't only prepping his lobster. He was bossing her around a lot. He was. He definitely was. But then Jamie did again, another top chef cliche. He died on his own sort.

He's like, I like to give up my immunity. It's just not right. You know, I'm like, oh, God, the, the, the, the proud nobility of, of Top Chef. I mean, the community. He, he, he, you know, the guy who had the Fog Ratatuse on his fingers, we got to see Jamie's last night. And they, it was like the same lettering

and everything on the same fingers, but it said, free mind. Like, seriously, shut up. Yeah. Shut up. He, yeah, it was,, it was I just couldn't also top chef judges hate Pussy's I mean they hate Pussy's if you say I'm gonna I'm gonna give up my fate like they hate choices like that And I know it was brave what he did, but It's it's a pussy move I think because he was trying to like win on nobility

Yeah, there was something weird about it. It seemed pussy moved to me and they were like no It's a pussy move, I think, because he was trying to win on nobility. Yeah. There was something weird about it. It seemed pussy moved to me, and they were like, no. If you ever admit fault to those guys, they will kick you off immediately. You have to just always completely be strong. You can't just go up and say, yeah, my dish set. They don't like that. Yeah, I just, I find this whole, like, this nobility thing to be kind of like so pretentious, you know, I mean, it sucks.

You definitely made something crappy, but you've got immunity and you're on a reality show. This is not like, I know you're not, you're not serving the queen and you're a soldier in the army and saving. It's mobility. It's just mobility, darling. And also if he was falling on his order to save someone that was worth it, that would be noble. But you're falling on your sword to save Lena Dunham,

Lena Dunham, she of the bud-shouter. So, it's like you saved her. So you didn't really do anything good for the world, you know? But Padma still had a mud-shouter, chip-on-or-shoulder. So that went. So that went. When he got out of Padma's like, by the way, Emily, if it weren't for Jamie, you'd be the one going home. And then Emily, Emily's response is all whiny. She's like, oh, then I don't want that.

It's time's like, too late. And I'm like, you know, Emily, you don't act like don't try to get in on the nobility game the phone ability game now just just accept it and move on Yeah, they were tried the chefs in the stew room trying to talk him into not doing that and they're like, but what is you know like Casey But what if you and he's like guys keep your opinions to yourself to me. Brad is everything Okay, bye so Padman was like goodbye. Please pack your knives and go. And who won? Surely one. I almost called her Susie again.

Love it, surely. Yeah, surely one. So that was good. And let's see, I think that was pretty much it, right? Yeah, it was a good episode. I was sad to see Jim go. I wasn't sad to see what's this face go. But, you know, I love top chef. Yeah, I love it to you

And I can't wait to see what they're gonna spy me to cook next week, and I hope it's not breaded Mud chatter Ronnie All right, so let's move on to the real housewives of ATL shall we mean I you know what Ronnie? I think that's a phenomenal idea ATL sad would be in I you know what Ronnie I think that's a phenomenal idea That's the only idea open to us man. It is by the way. I just want to say If our top chef thing or recap has made you hungry go check out our sponsor. Hello fresh Yeah, hello fresh. He's your code word crap ends at checkout for a discount. Yeah, we love we love hello fresh. It has helped me with my pork chop cooking and my burger cooking

I am not going you're not even lying. It's we're shilling, but I'm not lying So anyway, let's move on to Lanter um, so things start off with Aiden doing some tie dye for Flint because porch I mean the fadre is putting together this pop-up shop for Flint because Portia, I mean, the Fadre is putting together this pop-up shop where all the housewives slash entrepreneurs can come and sell their wares. And then the proceeds are going to go to this, like, a summer camp for kids who've been affected in the Flint crisis, which is ostensibly a very nice thing to do. Um, we're raising this money so the children can have Fixit Jesus shirts

and soap and other things you need it camp It's like okay, they're clean children in fix it Jesus fix it Jesus shirts anything else after I get those camp So you know eating of course is always so super cute He is gonna make some homemade cookies and sell them for 6.99. I was like okay, it's a little steep But he's adorable he can pull it off Cynthia call us and sell them for $6.99. I was like, okay, it's a little steep, but he's adorable. He can pull it off. Cynthia calls up. Let's run with the people and fling. She goes, it's the water crisis, honey.

And he said, I thought it was Africa. She's like, no, it's Flint. He said, what do you mean a water crisis? She goes, it was some poisoned water, baby. It was some poisoned water. I'm like, oh, I got tied I on my shirt. I love him. He is really sweet and I feel like he's very sharp too.

Then Cynthia calls up and is like asking a million questions about tablecloths and who's doing what, etc. I just like that Cynthia was very invested in this pop-up shop. Yeah, she had like 30 questions and phages like I got to go with my child and I'm trying to teach him the importance of philanthropy and tax shelters. Yeah, so then we go over to Shirei. You got some more coverings? You got some more coverings? She calls it wall coverings when she calls them wall wall coverings. You got wall coverings? You know You got a bubblegroom house?

And she's at this place and she's like, hmm, Michelle, he's so expensive. These are so expensive. I'm on a budget. These are expensive. I'm like, bitch, go to IKEA then. What are you doing? You're in a fancy wallpaper shop.

That's all they have. When they told her, do you like this one? It's made of grass. No, my son's got a problem with that. Have a campy happy smoking this wallpaper. Sheree, just go to IKEA and get one of those giant murals of the Flatiron building in New York City where it's all black and white except for one person's car which is teal. And I feel like Sheree, if Kenya got grass wall paper,, Sherry would be like, she got grass on her wall.

Yeah, Moe wall. Yeah, Moe wall. So Marlo comes in, she's like, Yes. Marlo comes in with her tits all hanging out. Yeah, I'm talking to Michelle on the FaceTime today, girl. Yeah, I was like, I'm talking to Michelle on the FaceTime today, girl. Yeah, I think that by the way, I think that was a very, that was like an edit that was directed by Andy Cohen, like here's Marlo, and but before you even see her face, just close up on her

tits moving up and down. Yeah, really long one. Really long. So yeah, Marlo, let's see here. Marlo is there, Marlo is there in lieu of Michelle the interior designer because Marlo is great. And so they're like looking for walkoverings and Shreys says that she wants bling old Hollywood 50 shades of gray. Grace the new neutral. I'm like, Gray has always been neutral. And how do you say old world Hollywood and then 50 shades of gray, which is new world trash Hollywood? It's like not even close to the same thing. But you know what, you have to hand it to Marlowe.

She did find it. She's like, well, this one's gray, but it's also got some gold spots on it from old Hollywood. You're very good. You're very good, Marla. So if they haven't, you're playing. So they start talking about Kenya. And Sherei's like, let's Sherei, the ultimate shit

started this season. It's like, one thing I noticed besides the grass wallpaper is that you were not Kenya's house woman. Why not? I thought you were close with Kenya. I'm more like, girl, I'm getting hot now. That wasn't a recurring theme in this episode. Everyone's fanning themselves at some point.

Yes, summer filming in Atlanta. She's like, I thought she was so sweet and misunderstood and she's just, she's a rebel like me. And then oh, near air conditioner. And then it cuts to Marlowe man sobbing like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, after a fight with Nini, she's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.

And then she basically is going off on Kenya. He's not even there and she's like, I don't wanna do with you, Kenya, you fake miserable, stupid dumb fake tidied She came up with like 20 terrible adjectives. I know I'm doing minute I by the way, I was just impressed that Marlowe and Sheree were having a conversation without resorting to little beeps and squeaks Good. I think we all remember their trip to Africa where they got to fight and chairs like Did like begin March or do you just speak? Africa where they got to fight and tears like I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a big I'm a What should I do for my birthday? What are your ideas? And Marla was like, get some flowers and a cake. And then Kenya didn't actually invite her to the birthday party.

And so Marla was really upset about that, which is understandable, especially because Kenya then invited Nini of all people. And then on top of that, Marla didn't even get invited to the housewarming party. So Marla found out all of this from the biggest shitster of any real housewife, real housewife of Instagram.

Instagram is the worst. It gets everybody into terrible relationships. It ruins friendships. I mean, Instagram has really changed the fabric of Bravo. Yeah. I wonder, by the way, if there is a backstory to what like a, like a production end back story to why Marlo didn't get invited to, to at least the housewarming, I wonder was there a contract thing that had't been sorted out and the producer said you can't invite Marlowe or it was Kenya being shady.

I wonder about these things on this show because it seems to play a big role in it. But never mind the camera's where an ad Kenya's birthday party. That's exactly. So that's for you. Either way, Marlowe asks Shreya about if more manor is nice and she raised like She was like no, I didn't realize she was such a cheap bitch Like she don't got plumbing. Where you shit girl? You going down the Starbucks to shit? I'm like that's hilarious because you just said that that's where you're going down the shit So that's what Stasi did also in her life

Yes, I like that Marlow is like you're full of shit in your house is too. So then we get a Kenya scene. And they're really working these Kenya scenes with this music clearance. They're getting good songs for Kenya's abs scenes. It's like, it's been a long time coming. Yeah. They've resurrected Dion Ferris and given it.

It's like, guess what, Dion? We want you to score every Kenya scene from here on out. This was a really pretty song, but it's funny that it's also bitchy because the lyrics are, it's been a long time coming and it's can you looking at her broken garage? The editors are like, uh, we need a song that sad, but also said, you did this to yourself, bitch. Yes. Anybody, anybody got one? Anybody got one? Well, I'm just happy that Kenya finally has a visual metaphor for her life, broken windows, spray painted security cameras. She's the, you know, that, uh, that job was just terrible what he did because he didn't

even throw bricks through them. He punched them. There was blood on the windows. And blood on the car that had splattered. Yeah. I mean, that's by the way, it's psycho. It's psychotic. It was bad enough when he did one little window. But then to actually, to spray paint the security cameras means that he actually went and bought some spray paint. So this is a very premeditated, obviously it was good to drive there, but it was like really premeditated. And to do the punchy, he wants to put that paint on himself. That's what that meant. He is psychotic. And even though she is a crazy lady

who is totally capable of driving a man to madness Kathleen Turner style in the 80s, I don't think there's any excuse for that sort of manness and destruction. At that point, it is now fully. It lies fully on board. There's no excuse for it, but there is a reason. And it's called steroids. Okay. That is rooid rage. That is where the term comes from. That is some absolute rooid rage. Because that's not just a normal psychosis. That guy's just like got too much that's rage

Yeah, and while he also I think he was a soldier at one point So maybe there's some weird PTSD going out with him Because that is above and beyond I mean it was crazy enough that he drove to Charlotte it's crazy that he came back and he busts in the thing and it was weird to me that Kenya was like what the hell is wrong with him I would my response would be like, oh my fucking god. Like, get me the police. Yeah, well, Kenya's really going with this whole. I'm an abused wife thing. And instead of she is, she is, but she needs to just

stop. It's like, come on, you're too old for this shit. I know I get that you're desperate for a boyfriend. I get that you've probably already paid this guy off through the next couple of months or whatever and you're wasting money by not using him on camera. But still girl, this is enough. This is not lifetime. You're 45 or some shit. Well, in my view, Kenya is a very strong independent woman. And I don't, she doesn't deal with bullshit. And so when she's sitting here being like, well, my instinct is that, you know, he's not trying to hurt me. a sweeter makes us want want to like you. I don't believe that's real anymore. I think real anymore is like, bye bye. Yeah. Well, real can you more fucks with him, fucks with him, fucks with him, fucks with him. Then he goes off and then she acts like, what is what's wrong with him? Which I mean, we've seen her do and we know that she's like that. We've seen her do it a million times. And I'm not saying anybody is excused for behaving

like that towards a woman because there's not. But I mean, Kenya likes to pretend like she's some lifetime movie victim. It's like, girl, they both should know better. They both should know better because he is obviously talked about. He's either, he's like his, his wiring is off and his steroid use. If, if he's doing steroids, it's gone, it's gotten crazy. But he also should know better. She's been well documented for years on TV as being a crazy bitch too

So they both should be staying away from each other, but I guess I guess that dick is good. I guess that pussy's good Well she calls candy and candy's like are you Well, I love that when she calls the best part was The music is all serious and you're looking at these broken windows and then Kenya calls candy and candy Did that thing where you can replace the ringtone What when you're hearing the the ringer with Custom music and she put her own custom thing so it's all serious and all of a sudden you're like Hopefully I pick up by the time I've been singing

Like a little like a lame. Hopefully I pick up by the time I've been singing. I'm like a lame, I'm like a lame. See? That phone call. So she basically is like, get the hell away from him. Get a restraining order. And Kenya's like, no, but I can't get a restraining order because he won't listen. And he's not afraid of that. And he just wanted me to respond. You know, I wasn't at home. She's like, oh, God. Okay. well, you need to come stay at our house. If this is going to be a big problem, which she actually does, just like, wait a minute. That's just what you say to somebody.

Yeah, you know, the thing is, if Kenya, here's the thing, he breaks all these windows, it is a lunatic, and she calls up Candy like, oh my god, Matt broke the windows, oh, but he just wants me to respond. Well then what are you calling Candy for? You know, it's like, if you're not willing, like you should be walking away from this guy. Now of course, I understand. I understand that I'm being probably looking at this with a little bit too much of a black and white eyes and probably from a very, you know, I forget the word but where basically there's, I'm not looking at the subtleties in the situation and I'm just, you know, it's perhaps like male privilege or just being like, don't do that. But still, don't do that.

Well, there's, I think it just goes deeper because it's, it's a woman who's, I think nearing 50, she's always stayed out of relationships for whatever reason. And now she's decided that it's time she needs a relationship and a baby. She found this guy that's malleable, you know, supposedly he's doing whatever she wants. It's like an employee in a way. And that well, literally an employee. And I think she's just got that desperation where she's like, this is it, you know? And if I don't do this, I'm gonna have to buy some sperm off the internet,

you know, and do it with the turkey baster. And, you know, I don't want people making fun of me for the rest of my life. It's like some kind of desperate pride thing and I get it. And being my age, I know a lot of girls going through it. I know a lot of men going through it. I mean, we don't get pregnant, but I get it, being my age, I know a lot of girls going through it. I know a lot of men going through it. I mean, we don't get pregnant, but I get it, but it's Kenya.

And it's so easy to see it when it's not you. You know, I've been obsessed with terrible relationships with people who are awful to me, but it's easy for me to see it when it's somebody else. You know, it's like get some pride woman for Christ's sake. It's easy. Yeah. It's easy for us to say, do this to that when we're not in the thick of it. But, you's sake. It's easy. Yeah, it's easy for us to say, do this to that when we're not in the thick of it. But this one is easy.

I mean, there are certain lines that you just don't cross. And that's a line of violence. And then later when she's talking to candy, just because we're probably not going to go through this moment by moment. But later when she's talking to candy, she was saying something like, well, oh, should I forget what I was going to say? That's what happened. Well, that's okay. Well, you will get to a, we'll get to it there. So moving on, we then go to Cynthia's house where she's packing up, because they're,

well, they were supposed to be moving into this lake house, but guess what? There was a glitch. So at first, I thought the glitch was that she didn't have the money, but instead there's some weird situation where the second, they didn't appraise all the house originally. It was 900,000. Now000 now it's the second of the house it's 600,000 so she doesn't want to pay 900 for 600 house blah blah blah what was funny to me was that no well it's like you know it's time for no wall to pack up her room and she has this whole cute wall very teenager wall with like little it's a chalkboard wall with all this writing and little pictures and envelopes and she's like can we take the wall? it like, you can't take a wall to a new house. Are you sure? No, no, we just cut it out and take it.

She's been waging his bipolar. These unrealistic expectations of the future. And that I like that Cynthia says things without knowing that she's saying them, like the scene opened and she's like, now, did you unpack that big basket of balls? Look, I don't need the balls. I just need the package of the tray I was like that is so fitting. That's like your whole season So then we go over to Fajr's office Where Kenya has shown up Because she wants to know what it's like to deal with them. What? How did Fager deal with her violent boyfriend?

So she also that this, this seems started out with every scene with Fager these days in her office. She's like, I need five people to come surround my desk. Yes. So I can tell you things. So she's acting like she's got all this going on, you know, and her assistant Latoya's like, well, John, Don Juan called about the event. She's like, mm-hmm.

Well, he had some questions. Well, one, is it? Don Juan wants to know if it's kid friendly. She goes, yeah, it's kid friendly. Candy is asking if it's kid friendly. She's a one-selling dildos. She's like, uh, Don Juan also wants to know if there's a little mouse he can chase around. And will that mouse be playing pranks on him and causing him to be embarrassed?

So he brings his oversized pan to try and hit the mouse. Don Juan wants to know if he'll be in a situation where steam will be coming out of his nose. Have you frustrated by a little mouse? Great. Now, Kenya comes for advice because she's like, I wanted to talk to Fager about this because, you know, she's an abuse victim too or whatever. So she comes over and she's like, so has everything girl. She's like, well, you know, I just needed advice because I know you've been through stuff in your relationship. She's like, no, how bad is it? Did he come out? Did he come out? You with this grew gun girl? Any kind of power tool? No. All right. Then you're good. Call them. Get back together.

Have some dinner. It'll work out. Yeah. Fadre. Fadre basically is saying that they, she recommends going to counseling and try to work things out. Then if that doesn't happen, then it's, then, you know, give up on whatever. And I like Ken, he's like, wow, it's so nice that Fadra is sharing her innermost secrets with me. I'm like, secrets that were on TV. Yeah, for the country.

Yeah, but we all saw already. Yeah. Fadra, I don't know, I would listen to Fadra's advice. I mean, in reality, Fadre allegedly did the best thing a woman can do, which is get that man implicated in something and have his ass taken away to prison. So Fadre really does know how to deal with it, but she can't say that on TV. So she's saying, well, you know, I didn't see the bad side of Apollo until we were married because once you get married, then you see the worst in them. And Kenya is like, well, she says, do you love this man?

And she's like, well, I love this is what I was going to say earlier. She's like, well, I love the man that he is when he's not like this. It's like, no, Kenya, you don't get to make up a version of someone in your head and just love that. Like it's a whole, it's a whole person stupid. But she's, she mentioned that she went to the police to ask about a restraining order and they were, the police advised her that she shouldn't because if he goes to jail, he's not gonna learn anything there.

It won't do him any good. I'm sure the police are gonna say that to a woman. He's had her fucking house vandalized for the second time by some crazy psycho. What police did you call? Yeah, it's at the very least he should pay for all those damages. If you get a photo at the very least, he should at least have to spend the night lock up or something.

I mean, I don't believe that the police said that. Yeah, I see we're saying it's, it's probably true. And the dangerous life. Well, that's true. Jill does make them worse. I mean, he will have a job though. You know, that's where Whole Foods gets its art as in cheese. You know, there's like a whole industry based on the new

slavery of jail, where they paid like five cents an hour and makes shit for like Walmart. I thought it was crazy. Yeah, I mean, I've heard of people in jail making license plates, but I had to. Oh, that's old school. Yeah. We really, we've really capitalized on the jail system.

Damn. Well, either way, um, yeah. But I mean, at least you would have a job, you know, I mean, if he was in jail, he would come out being like, I've packaged artisan cheese. I mean, that people would take that more seriously than I'm a personal trainer who kicks in windows, you know, you know, I don't know if I want, I don't know if I want my Camon Bear coming from Matt. Well, maybe you'll eat that Camon Bear and be like, why am I angry? It would be a great top chef challenge. Chefs, this week, we're

asking you to make a dish with gelhouse cheese. Prism cheese. Here as a guest judge is one of the nation's best prison cheese makers, Matt. And one of when can you start it crying? I love that Fadre has, you know, most people have like Kleenex like therapists or like here's a Kleenex. That wasn't even a Kleenex. That was like a napkin from McDonald's. I like that she didn't even use her nice Kleenex for Kenya. She's like hold on, I've got some some leftover napkins I've

saved in my drawer. Here you go, dear. So then next Kenya goes over to Candy's house to announce that she didn't file it restraining order and she also is announcing that she's going to be staying there. That's where Kenji's like, see? No. Kenya. I only have two more houses. Oh no. So, but this was, and then Cynthia shows up because Cynthia needs a place to live because she's sort of homeless now also

because about the lake house, et cetera. And so then Kenya ends and you're like, yeah, we're gonna move in, we're gonna move in. It was a very, it was actually a very contrived scene at least in the beginning. And, you know, candy's pretending to be surprised. And you're like, yeah, it was like a little comic relief thing, et cetera.

But nevertheless, they start talking about this text message they received from Fadre about the pop-up shop. And they're talking about how Fadre was being really shady on it. And she's taking 50% of the proceeds. And when Cynthia had pushed back, like, what 50% of the proceeds and when Cynthia had pushed back, like, what 50% over text that Fadre was shady in return and they're like, she never said 50%, like, we should ask Sherey because Sherey is like the human tape recorder.

And I was like, that's really great because Sherey does kind of sound like a cassette player especially one that's not working very well. But she's like, really low like this or she's like, oh, she's like a scrubbing, like a cassette player scrub especially one that's not working very well. But she's really low like this or she's like a scrubbing like a cassette player scrubbing through the all. You say it's a present. What? What? What's going on?

What's going on? And then candy's like. It's a place. See. Candy's like, she's not really a good tape recorder because she's like a tape recorder that changes everything you say Relays it like all cut up. Yeah, yeah, and Candy basically started talking about how last week Shreye Shreye kind of instigated this whole thing with Candy on Porsche because Shreye went and told

Porsche that Candy's been saying that Porsche slept with block and at that point Can you can you always takes an opportunity to start a room. She's like, wait a second. Is block the one who gave Porsche a golden shower? Very timely. And that's a good memory because she remembers that because they played that game. Wait, what is it? I never have a... I never have a... I never have a... Yeah, never have I ever. And she drank during that question. So she's like, remember she drank. This so cracks me up. So the big meat of this episode is the, um, Flint, the dirty water party or whatever. So they, they all show up and they have these little tables set up. Kenya's of course has an entire wall of just her face, you know, it's this big

gigantic face. And soaje's like, oh, nice face. I hope there's some product in those water bottles, not water. And who else that Portia's was just like all this brown fabric. Yeah, Portia's was weird. It was just, it looked like a Gypsy tent. It did. It was like Panny hose fabric hung everywhere. Yeah. Well, what was funny too is that Port Porsche, she, her look for the second half of this episode was short hair, which looked nice. But I was like, I thought it was a strange tactic to sell your, your weaves and your wigs by not having some in your hair, unless the short hair was the wig. I don't know. I thought like, wouldn't you want to show off the volume

and, and the excitement of your hair if you're trying to sell your hair products? Well, maybe she got it short so she could be clipping stuff on, showing people. No, that's how you put on the fringe spray. Yeah, that's a big tail. Whatever. I like Sheree's reaction to Kenya's huge banner. She's like, well, I don't know if she says one in the bottles or does she actually have product now. That's pretty bold coming from the woman who had a fashion show, no fashion. Yeah, and she just had a little flower on her table. Yeah.

It's like, she has one little flower over there. I hope those t-shirts can save Chateau's serre. God bless her heart. Yeah, but in the end though, she'll remind them donate more money than can't, than Kenya. So there you go. She donated 595. Can you only donated 450? So pink flowers. Wow. Really? Yeah. Oh wow. Yeah, they brought all their Twitter people as or their Twitter folk as we would say. So let's see. What else happened here? We got to meet up all those parents. Yeah. Well, yeah, we've seen his mom before before but his mom looked better than ever before normally she looks kind of decrepit but this time she had put herself together she lost a little

weight she did her hair so we saw that phadra and appala's parents still have a good relationship was that which was actually nice because it was I was happy for little Aiden you know because the Aiden was like hi grandma and it was it was was actually very sweet. I was happy for that little boy. Yeah. But this whole scene felt very much like celebrity apprentice. It was like celebrity lame apprentice, setting up little booths in a space that doesn't really look like a pop-up shop.

It's sort of like weird and empty and kind of half-based. It's like one of those celebrity apprentices where the team challenge Captain doesn't really know anybody famous. It's like one of those celebrity apprentices where the team challenge captain doesn't really know anybody famous. It's like one of the B level or D level stars, I guess I should say. And so they never have anybody famous to call and come say their ass. Yeah. Yeah. Those are my favorite ones. It's like Amy Gramps, like all upset that she's the team captain. It's like, this is not my decade. Sorry, but I don't know, you know, the cat lady or whatever. Yeah, Cynthia was selling her eyewear.

We did skip over the fact that Cynthia had one final scene at her kitchen island where she got to say goodbye to her house and she was like, this is the kitchen island where I burned up my friend contract. And there's the other side of the kitchen island where I burned up my friend contract. And there's the other side of the kitchen island where I made up with Neenie and there's another side of the kitchen island where I met so and so. Isn't great, Cynthia. Really. Yeah. Cynthia's whole is like Cynthia's life passes before. Let's say she's on a train track and the train's coming and her whole life

flashes before her eyes. She would fall asleep before she got hit by the train. I mean, that's some boring life flashing before your eyes. And we saw a lot of her life flashing by this episode and none of it was interesting. Exactly. It's just like, come on train. Hit me. My life is still playing. Hurry up. So Marlow shows up at the pop up shop wearing a top that looks kind of like a hefty bag. And she goes in, she ignores Kenya, but Kenya goes up to her and pulls her aside and is like, I want to have a moment with you. And Kenya has tried to apologize. She's like, I'm so sorry that I did not get a chance to invite you to my house warming.

I've been going through a lot, you know, installing windows, then installing them again, then installing them again. You know how it goes. I've been texting those window people every day for months. I gave Matthew invitation to give to you, but he just punched it. So I didn't really make it all the way over. Sure. Your invitation became a hanging chat.

I'm sorry. We're waiting for the Supreme Court ruling on whether or not you can come to my Easter party. Yeah. But when she said I did not get a chance to invite you, I thought two things. I thought, well, that's a real, smarmy way of like not actually owning up to the fact that you didn't invite her. You're saying I didn't get a chance if you're too busy. You had time to invite everyone else, but not Marlow.

But then my other instinct was maybe that's code for the producers wouldn't allow me. You know, that's why I started thinking that. Well, if that was true, then she could have just called her and told her that. Right. That's true. That's true. That's true. Kenya is a shitty bitch.

And I think Marlo, Marlo's a crazy bitch. I think that she's right on about this one. And she just, she didn't want her there because Nini was there. Now that doesn't explain the housewarming. I bet you're right that the housewarming, they're like, we're not giving her a day play feed for this. Yeah, because once they're kind of famous They get like 10,000 bucks. Yeah, some of them. Yeah, exactly So that was weird because Kenya's reaction to Marlo was not full out she you know Marlo was like no No, no, no shady you shady and Ken is like now Marlo. Okay Marlo calm down and Kenya was actually so level headed about it

That I couldn't tell if Kenya was made me think that Kenya was being really, really sincere or really, really fake and I couldn't tell which one. Kenya is usually the most level headed when she knows she's wrong. Yeah, that's what I don't know the answer. So she's trying to make the other people look crazy, you know. Yeah. There's nothing sincere about Kenya. I mean, to me, I don't think there's a damn sincere thing about Kenya. I think you're probably right. And I think that, you know, and Marlo, Marlo basically would not let Kenya have her way and went off and told Sherey that, yeah, she's fake and she's not gonna fall for it

ever again. Yeah, she's like, you're a Neenie Jr. Yeah, well, so that was pretty much this one. The people gave a lot of money to, to a fader, I thought. Yeah, they got, she got about $7,500. Candy, Candy gave $2,500, which was really nice. Cynthia gave $1,000. Poor should donated 100% of her proceeds.

I'm not sure how much that was. I know, that could have been like negative $10. She's like, I have an I.O.U.Y know that could have been like negative $10. She's like, I haven't. I owe you. You can give me $10. Yeah. I like the aid and was like, Miss Cynthia, would you like to buy a cookie?

She's like, all right, I'll give you some money. And Fadre goes, that's my baby. So overall, pretty cute episode. The show cracks me up. And I'm glad they brought Marlowe back. Yeah, it was nice to have Marlowe back. I thought it was a fairly uneventful episode. However, however, for people who watched first family of hip hop, there was an extended preview for next week's Atlanta. I don't know. Did you catch that? No, I didn't. I didn't. Well, I heard some of it. Next is next week the Porsche fight with Candy. Yes. So basically, they showed, they showed basically two minutes, two full minutes of that scene where they're

fighting and then Porsche walks out and then Porsche is walking through the parking lot and they're just like following her around. And it goes on for like two minutes. It was good. So I think next week we'll have some fun stuff to talk about with this show. Yeah, the rumors of this season, before it started airing word,

that the big meat was that Portia has some kind of nervous breakdown in the street and keeps walking back and forth and all the ladies are watching her from the window. Just like, I guess texting all about the tea or whatever. It wasn't a nervous breakdown from what I could tell it look like she Basically, they were in a fight and Portia was like I I'm going to remove myself from this as per my anger management

And she walks out and then Kenya starts to followers like well I'm gonna go follow her and like Kenya don't follow her you're gonna make it where she's like no Why can't I follow her her anger management is working so therefore I can follow her so she does want to make her crazy So Porsche is gonna love she loves to make crazy people crazy Exactly so she's Porsche is trying to get away Just to get some peace and tranquility and Kenya keeps following her and so they're sort of it's like a it's like watching watching bunch of like a Ducklings walking around in the parking lot So if you don't get away from me and then you just hear Shirega

Yeah That tape recorder going off again But but yeah, Portia just is frustrated. It doesn't look like she has a nervous breakdown She's just frustrated. She's like get away from me But we'll we'll talk more about it next week when we have greater context for that and for now Tomorrow we will be back to talk some van der pump rules. We'll also have our bonus episode tomorrow We have our

Patreon Google hangout next Thursday as part of our big anniversary week by the way we didn't mention the top that so but we're gonna try to do some giveaways we're gonna keep you keep you updated on that nothing is concrete but we're gonna try do some giveaways do some fun stuff for next week for now we just have to say adios. Adios, mother truckers. Bye everyone, go enjoy biscuit. Booby! Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens

Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. You can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.