Watch What Crappens - #371 PumpRules: Taco Tower Terrorist

Episode Date: January 18, 2017

It’s Katie’s bridal shower, and someone is accused of being a terrorist. Also, Brit’s mom tries to introduce Jesus to Jax and Scheanna buys lots of blue things. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Also, check out Ronnie’s new TrashTalkTV RHOBH Audiobook podcast at tttv.podbean.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air,

come over to Facebook.com-watchwatchwatch.com. And to follow us on social media, go to watchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatch on docked calm slash watch what crap ends. Watch what crap ends would like to think it sponsors Christy Doherty and Mia Hansen Loha and our very special super-subscrat-a sponsor Miss Madonna Hines Mads with a 6-City! We love you girls! Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappin' Podcast! The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Ye old brawves. I'm Ronnie Caram from the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast, and also the Real Housewives of Beverly

Hills Audio Books podcast, over on iTunes, where you get your podcast fixed. I'm with my gorgeous and talented little friend Ben Mandelkair. The B side blog and the banter blender podcast. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. What's going on? How's it going, darling? I'm okay. I suffered an injury before when my tower of Taco Bell fell over on me. So from doing okay. Well done, you're throaked. Everyone, thank you so much for listening to this. We just recorded our bonus episode for the week. It was super fun. We talked about a lot of stuff like cookies, the disloyal ass Verizon guy, Ed Sheehan, Andy Cohen, crying in movies, and what it's like to be a troll on the internet.

Yeah, as we as we kind of are to This is a great episode. Yeah, really go check that out over on patreon.com slash watch what crapens Also, we're gonna be going on tour this year and we're probably gonna do a sporadic tour Our first looks like it's gonna be in the big area probably San Francisco So anyone who's out there San Francisco. So anyone who's out there, come to our Facebook or tweet at us at what crappens some good venues that you think we should perform at. Yeah, our goal is really to make sure this podcast follows in the footsteps of Erica Jane. So, you know, well, I got to do a show in the Bay Area and Chicago and New York

and Greece. So, so let's list some good Honda dealerships in the San Francisco area that we should perform at. All our air contain. Tweet at us, Tweet us our suggestions. Yes. And also next week is our fifth anniversary! So we're going to have a really fun week. We've got a lot of special guests lined up.

Guests from the past. Guests from the future. Guests from the future. Guests, he guests. So, come for that. Let's be pretty fun. Amy Phillips is coming. Yeah, Ryan Moilin. Ryan Moilin is coming.

Hopefully Matt Whitfield will be coming at some point. So it should be a fun week. So we'll see you then. Now, enough of that. Let's talk about some Vanda Pum. Roon. Oh, good. This needs'll see you then. Now, enough of that. Let's talk about some van der pump. Oh, good. This needs to be talked about. We need to get into this. You start. Okay. Well, you know,

we know a lot of talk about. Nothing to say. A lot of talk about showers in the news recently. And if there's anything more, more foul than a golden shower, it's a Katie shower. And that's what this episode is all about. Yeah. And basically this, this got everybody over the Donald Trump golden shower. So we're like, okay, this was grosser. Yeah, this is, this is more of a, this is, this is more of a problem. Yeah, we'll still watch Katie. So you know, Maga. So anyway, it began the episode begins with Lisa van der Pump in her office above Sir. And she's fat shaming jiggies.

Jiggin used to go on the Beverly Hills die because he's fat. He's a fat little ball dog. He's no harrassin. Is he? I just go bad for Hank and Frankie. They've just been pushed to the side this year. No kidding. And you know, Hanky, Frankie, you've been around forever. I just feel bad for Hank and Panky. They've just been pushed to the side this year. No kidding. And you know, Hanky Panky had been around forever. I didn't know they were around this long. I mean, she had them in season one of Vanderpump rules.

They had a shot of Hanky and Panky. Wow. Well, they had their moment, I guess, and now it's over. Yeah, they got too big for their bridges. Yeah, speaking of too big for their bridges, Katie shows up and so does Tom. And Katie as the official assistant of Lisa Vanderpump or as I like to call her, T-O-A-O-L-V-P,

to Wal. The 12 shows up. And she's like, I got the new dresses. She basically, she brought some dress samples because it's time I got the new dresses. She basically brought some dress samples because it's time to update the Sur uniform. And this is basically why Katie is working for Lisa so that she can sabotage the sexy outfits and turn them into fat girl clothes.

And even, and these are better ones. I was like, what is this is like a circus tint? What is this a maternity dress? It's one of Kyle's moon moves. Katie, there's need to be more form more form fitting darling the restaurant is dark. We can't have people walking around in black Telling it'll just be a bunch of floating heads and salt and pepper shakers like that's my point Okay, it's like I actually really like this dress cuz I had the salt and pepper shakers sewn in so you don't have to even hold them anymore No you don't have to even hold them anymore. Dali.

Lisa tells it that's what I wear when I'm trying to hide. She's like, I know. But yeah, she really did. She's like, here's all of these are in size eight. Here's a black dress with sleeves. Here's a black dress with three quarter sleeves. Here's just a black robe. A black robe. Yeah, graduation robe. Clearly. Tyler, we know none of you are educated, so why even bother with these? I hope you didn't get any mortar boards. No, no, Katie. Oh, never mind.

your parents. No, Katie. Oh, never mind. Finally, your parents can be proud of you. We'll take pictures of you in your graduation uniform, Sterling. Darling, I don't want to rest one with other waitresses. I look like Judge Judy, okay? I like Judge Judy. If we're going to have a serious discussion, please stand in front of the walk-in fridge. Well, we learned that Katie's bridal shower is coming up and Katie tells us that she's happy because I'm like all the other events. This one's about me. I'm like, you bitch. All events have been about you. Shut up. It's not all your entire season has been about you. Be grateful. Unlike that burlap tin making session, which was all about Tom number two. Yes. or lap 10 making session, which was all about Tom number two. Yes, or that girl's French, that was about Tom number two, or that T towel crafting session, which was about Tom number two. Yeah, poor Tom.

I like. I like it. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. I'll just go say I can't invite Lisa van Opom to the bridal shower. She also tells her that she's going to go to watch Christian to sketch comedy. And Lisa goes, sketch comedy, that's at least funny person I've ever met in my life. Okay, he goes, I think he'd be surprised.

And she's like, no, I wouldn't. She's like, listen, I even saw Reza perform at the improv. Kristen's worse, I know it. I've hired Peter darling. And she's still the least funny person I've ever met in my life. So Tom and Ariana and Lala at the bar. They're like, he's like, hey babe, how's the highlights look? That's great.

Lala comes out. Lala, you know, by the way, as we start talking about Lala, has about highlights. That's great. Yeah. And voila comes out. Lala. Now, by the way, as we start talking about Lala, I want to mention that someone on Snapchat, who I believe her username is Shamber, something like that, she sent me one of Lala's Snapchat from yesterday. And I'm going to play it because we're

recording this the day after MLK weekend and there have been a lot of meaningful tributes, but perhaps none as meaningful as La La's tribute to Martin Luther K. Behold. Do the amount of love I have for MLK is like, I can't even explain it. Like I love that man. Well I'm proud of her for knowing it's not milk. Milk damn so not celebrating that like whoa. So Lala comes in to be contrite and and her Lala is back on this thing after her whole pep talk from LBP last week, she's now back in this Lala doesn't want to hang out with people she doesn't like.

That's not what Lala does. Yeah. Lala is definitely in third person Lala mode. Yeah. Which if you've ever watched any abuse stories on lifetime, which I know a lot of our audience has, you know that people do their like, you know, make paintings of themselves without facial features, or you know, talk about themselves like there's somebody else in third person. Like that little girl was so hurt.

So I don't know what happened to Lala, but she'd probably be the most frustrating person to have in therapy because she would never tell you. She'd just like tell you different things every week to try and make you guess what happened to her. Like, yeah. Well, I, I was late to therapy because I was with the football player. No, I mean, the president. It's like, well, I was like really just draw about Barnum and Bailey closing down. So, like, I couldn't obviously come to therapy. Um, um, Barnum and Bailey is like, yeah,

we're blaming us closing down on the short attention span of Americans I'm like how about you're closing down because people don't need to see cars coming out or clouds coming out of cars and a big old tent smells like shit Today really blame it on short attention span. Yes. Oh, please. Yeah, please It's called get in catch up with the time search Slai came in and redefine what circus means for a new generation of people, okay? So deal with it. If I can't see you through and Bailey, sir. I can't see your throat through your hoo-ha.

You're not trying hard enough. Get those legs behind your head, Barnum and Bailey. More whimsy, please. So Lala's like, I'm a Lissar. If I offended you, I'm sorry, whatever. And Tom's like, Lala, I sorry. If I offended you, I'm sorry, whatever. And Tom's like, Lala, I mean, like up to the day before, you said you wanted to go.

And Lala's like, is this something where like trying to put Lala in the lion's den now? Relax, Lala. I'm always on your side, but you really have to relax in this situation. She's like, Lala just felt like Lala's sick of being around people who don't respect Lala. And that's it. Like Lala loves Lala just felt like Lala sick of being around people who don't respect Lala and That's it like Lala loves Lala and so Lala wants to surround Lala with good people and he's like well

Yeah, but we are good people should like yeah, but I mean like jacks and stuff and I just just I had like a pit in my stomach It's called being hungry. He's like step swallowing peaches whole just like turn guys out at the bar Tom was so mad Deservedly Deservedly that is how we have to find out I signed like 10 different NDAs and you still in show up And then she and it comes over and she's like And she's like, I'm just like a bad friend. I'm like, that's girl, I got an army. So like, Lala isn't talking to non-Lala's right now, okay?

So I'm like, well, Ariana told me about her feelings. And so now I'm reiterating them. And I was like, whoa, we've got a Barnum and Bailey replacement. She just said reiterating. I know. I mean, talk about a circus. That's what this really is. Talk about a high wire act. She talked about some clown makeup, huh? Yeah, this is send in the clowns, aka, she not good. Yeah, she is hilarious. She

reminds me of when you're watching a cartoon. If you're ever watching a cartoon and people in the cartoon are having an argument, and people start to appear in the background to emphasize the fact that the argument's getting huge and then getting embarrassing, that's what she knows. She's like a cartoon character who shows up in a cartoon argument in the background. Does that make sense?

Yes. It's like, you know, people be arguing, all of a sudden people pop up in the background, the animators put them in. Yeah. That's what she knows. I'm here. There's tons of different copies, but the only thing they have to move is like make their eyes bigger all the one time That's a tuna is so she just shows up and she decides to hop into this argument like She know

She knows just doing that because she has a weekend with the girls and she wants to be like I have a lot for you because I'm friends with you guys that a lot of us and go see yeah she's got a saucy cred yeah and then when Lala walks away Lala's like well Lala has a gift for you from Lala so good dancers and she leaves and then Tom's like yeah well I'm not good with people in my life. They're gonna fuck me over. You're best friends with Jacks and he fucked your girlfriend on your couch. So give it up Tom. Yeah, I would agree with that too. I would agree with that. But I certainly would be very frustrated with Lala, especially if you know, you went out of your way to do this and she backs out at 5am that day, please. Yeah, she's, yeah, she's a flake.

Yeah, she's just a flake. She's a flake. So then we go to Kristen, who is like, I'm like so proud of my sketch shot coming to you because we're like on the main stage of the improv, like seriously, seriously. I'm like, that's what a Reza was too. Okay. Doesn't mean anything. I didn't know they even did sketch at the improv.

I thought that's where they did stand up. I don't know they had sketch teams there. Oh my God, I have to tell you. Yes. The other day I went to see my friend do a stand up show with the food bar because my friends were flying high motherfucker and that's where we perform the food bar. This one's like bar from bleach.

Proud of it. So anyway, I went in there and this girl gets up and she's like, my hand hurts because I hurt my hand. And now like I have to come over things to eat them. And I look like a claw hand trying to get a french fry. I'm like, this is the worst. Like I can't with this girl. She's terrible. She's slow. She looks annoyed to even have to be there And she wasn't even joking. You know like she was just I can't listen to this idiot. I'm gonna go smoke so I came back and It the room was just dead and then she said her last little thing she's like, okay, well buy and then the comic who came up after her goes

Okay, well Hope your hand feels better and everyone kind of awkwardly laughed and I was like, oh wow, she bombed, huh? It's all that one coming. I said, what's she talk about? And they're like, oh, she talked about, like, homeless people and like, you know, retarded people. She was lame.

And I was like, wait a second, that's the girl from Vanderbilt rules. Was it Rachel? Was it Rachel a Rachel? Yes. And I missed her set because I was like, she's so terrible. I'm going to smoke. So that's how much she sex. So I have to say Arianna was dead right about that girl.

Yeah. So yeah, basically confirmed. Sorry, Rachel, but I mean, making effort. You're at the food bar. Do you know how many people work your entire lives to get to that point? Okay, nobody, but still. Yeah.

Other people were funny. Well, Kristen didn't seem to be much better because we saw Kristen opening up her sketch comedy show by getting up on stage and saying, I'm so happy to be your host excited and love. And I was like, hey, Kristen, it's not SNL. What? Seriously?

Seriously? Waiting for the rim shot. Oh, shit. Well, in LA, you got to worry because some people are demoneth to think they are posting us in LA. You never know. People got some delusion out here, especially Kristen. They're like, no, you're not on SNL, Kristen. She's like, yo, well, comic strength free, right? He's like, no, she, and Peter just looks so sad. He's like, this is the one night I've

left my house, and it was for this. And the editors, the editors were actually kind to her because the only person laughing was Brittany and they kept on playing this foley of the audience laughing. You kept hearing the audience laughing, but if you looked around, no one was laughing. You know, because Brittany was just like, look, there's a lady on stage and a brick. I love bricks. That's what I will. Hey, that lady looks like Christian.

I love Saturday night live. Where is Santa Kovee? Do you think Alex Baldwin is here? I loved him in sliver. That's the wrong. He's target Jackson still on this show, you know, she's my favorite of the Jackson five She takes sides to get care of Michael Yeah, Brittany was like Like she definitely had that going on and then Kristen's like Thanks for coming like I thought have fun, get wasted, and be sure that you don't take comedy too seriously.

Ugh. Like making a dig at Ariana for taking comedy seriously. Yeah. And I was like, nice inside Joc to an entire audience. Like an audience. An audience that doesn't give a fuck, you idiot. Britney's like, ping her pants.

You see what she did there? She's talking about comedy, but she's in serious. Like a lot of workplied. Like I get it like past a shark cutie replace. I like that order some shark cutie to re. Yeah I've got cute sharks put it on a wood plate. I'll leave you that. You can give me anything with the cracker and I'll eat it. And you can give me a massage afterwards because I love being a massageist. So now it's time for Kristen's troop to do a little skit. And they're doing a fake commercial about dick pics. And it's like a fake service that turns dick pics into little masterpieces. And they basically took pictures of dicks and basically added them on to famous paintings, like a Star United, whatever.

Or a Happy Birthday card. You guys need to straighten out your game here. So they go from Picasso to a Happy Birthday card. Which one of these was Kristen Sharjah? Let me guess. So, like, Kristen, we told you to get something from the Impressionist period, not the Chris Boone charge of, let me guess. So like, hey, Chris, and we told you to get something from the Impressionist period, not the shoe box area of the Hallmark story.

What, I'm impressed with birthday cards. Oh. Oh. So it turns out that the picture of the dick that they were using was Jack's dick from one of his dick picks. And Katie of all people is the one who identifies it, which I thought was very curious. And what I loved was that when, you know, Jack's,

Jack's tells Brittany like, nah, they just pulled it off a website, but Jack's telling us about it. And it reminded me of a rest of development when Michael tells, oh, what's his face? David Cross' character, we said to David Cross, listen, what you gotta do is you gotta bring a tape court around and listen to what you say, because Jack,

in regards to his dick pic, he's like, listen, I just wanna heads up. I'm like, I think that's what got you in the problem in the first place. He also said, that's a little low. It's kind of a hope low Look man, this whole thing's coming to a head. Yeah, yeah He's like how could you leak that oh jacks and he goes and he says well, I guess my dick went viral jacks

I mean, it's like you just keep saying these things. Yeah, he's like it's so cheesy. Oh jacks He's like there may not be yours And then he tells a story that he Wait, who tells the story someone tells a story of how this happened jack, oh, Tom number two. He's like, yeah, well, Jack sent, you know, a dick pic. And then he did what he does. He jacks somebody, which is also like awkward in this context. But he sent this picture and the girl got mad. And so she tweeted it and it went, you know, viral,

which is also another awkward word. And Tom saw and he recognized Jack's dick because of his shoes. And then they showed the picture and it's like dirty white converse. It's like, wait a second, this is a fishy group. But of course, Tom Tandwald recognizes by the shoes. Like, yeah, man, like Jack's never cleans his shoes.

And I was like, Jack, you got to clean them. Like, it's sort of like hurtful that you don't. Like, I could not clean your shoes. And so I see the dirty shoes. And like, that's classic Jack's. Yeah, last time I was sucking jacks, you gotta clean them, like it's sort of like hurtful that you don't. Like I could not clean your shoes. And so I see the dirty shoes, and like that's classic jacks. Yeah, last time I was sucking jacks, it's dick. I was like, God damn you shoes are dirty, dude. So now Brittany gets mad,

which is surprising because nothing has made her mad really all season long. And now when she's like, I would have lied the heads up. Like I can't believe you do that dick. It's like really humiliating to me. Like I recognize that dick immediately. I'm like, what? Because of all the words on it.

But I get it. And she was mad at Kristen and Kristen's like, oh, seriously? Seriously? Like what? I thought it would be funny. It's like, yeah, but I can't believe you do that to me. I'm real hurt.

It's like, okay. And Stasi says, I didn't even recognize his dick. I wouldn't recognize any of my boyfriend's dicks. I'm like, oh my god, I know you're trying to be hilarious right now, but that is probably so true that it just makes everybody sad. Oh, poor Stasi. She's like, they're like this or like that like Dixer gross. Oh, Stasi. Yes. Well, this whole thing was rather on appetizing, but I'll tell you what is appetizing, Ronnie.

What, man? Food. Food is appetizing. Really, right after Jackson's take pick. Well, we need to, we need to make restore people's faith. You know, people are listening to this. They probably were getting ready for lunch or dinner and they've lost their appetite.

We need to bring that appetite back. Well, if you're thinking about the yeast infection that Brittany's probably carrying around from Jackson's penis, instead think about wheat. What could you do with that yeast, this positive? There are a lot of things. So one thing that we really like to do when it comes to cooking, and we talked a lot about cooking on our bonus episode is we are in love with Hello Fresh.

Hello Fresh is a meal kit delivery service that makes cooking fun, easy and convenient. Yup. Each week Hello Fresh creates new delicious recipes with step-by-step instructions designed to make around 30 minutes for everybody from novices to seasoned home cooks. Short on time. Yeah. Hello Fresh. Yeah.

Hello Fresh. Hello Fresh. Sores literally sources the freshest ingredients measure to the exact quantities needed. So there's like no food waste. I can't believe like you haven't apologized for wasting all that food previously. Yeah. Lala wants to employ a full-time registered dietitian on staff who reviews each recipe for Lala to ensure that Lala is nutritionally balanced.

Seriously, I can't believe you had to sign an NDA because with HelloFresh you don't have to. All your food is delivered to your doorstep in a special insulated box for free. Yeah. Darling, just go to HelloFresh and use your promo code CrapinsDarling for $35 off your first week of deliveries. Visit hellofresh.com and enter pre-emocode. Crapins, when you subscribe. Actually, I think we have a different promo code than just crap ends.

I think we have something a little different. I think it's hello fresh 35, believe it or not. Oh, really? Well, I have a little surprise. Yeah, I'll double check. You want to make sure it's all proper I think I think we have a different promo code I'm looking right now everyone But while we look this up, I can say I've been mentioned before that

Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm Matt Bellasai and I'm Sydney battle and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. The hello fresh stuff is really good. Like I literally it has changed the way I've made burgers and pork chops. I keep on mentioning that but it's really important because I said never make pork chops. And now an entire new food category has opened up to me

because the recipe I learned with Heller Fresh. Yeah, basically the way it works is they give you three, you get three meals, but it's actually six meals because each little meal is for two. And then they send you these recipes and they look like magazines, like they're beautiful pictures pictures and all of the stuff is there that you need and it's all separated and it's color coated for the morons out there like me. It's all color coated so you can keep them all separated and it comes in these boxes that have these ice pack things in them so they come to fresh and

cool even if they're sitting on your doorstep all day which with with mine it was and it was nice and cool and everything's just fresh and delicious in there you just take it out and cook darling. Cook darling yes so the promo code for Hello Fresh is crap in 35 so normally yeah normally are normally which crap in for almost all of our things but for Hello Fresh it's crap in 35 so I wanted to make sure everyone knows that, that's the way you get your discount, you know, because that way you can eat your food. And then while you're staying down your couch, full from your delicious meal,

you can watch me on the phone, rules, and then follow along with the podcast. Yeah, so that's HelloFresh.com, and the promo code is Crappens 34. Yes, so thank you. So they're HelloFresh. And the promo code is crap in 34. Yes. So thank you. So they're Hello, freeish speaking of fresh things. It's been the next day at Sir.

And here comes Katie slapping around paint cans. And someone on Twitter was like, I guess paint cans are the new salt and pepper. Hiding behind all the cans. Yeah. And it's funny because she's, they're called bear. It's like a high in behind a bear. So, um, let me see what something happened before that. Oh, well, Brittany was just telling, uh, someone that she was mad about the

PS, I guess, still. Okay. Yeah. So, so Lisa's like, Oh, look at this pinky Von Tuky, Pep de Bismol, Pep de Epo, these are all incorrect Katie. Maybe these are for your future nursery, but not this restaurant. Why would you buy all of these?

Darling, she's like, Oh, because it's purple and pink everywhere, Lisa. LAUGHTER Darling, it looks like Grimmis just exploded. Why would you do this? I know you like McDonald's, but not me. It looks like Grimmis gang-banged, hello kitty, darling, with a bunch of grovers.

It's not, it's not, sir, it's where you come to bring your mistress, not your, not your grover, darling. Darling, let's take someone through a rape pseudo all over the walls. Are you ridiculous or what? Yeah, Steve, Katie's kind of useless as an assistant, but you know, need something to do. So she, she's like, yeah, well, I'm tired because I went to Kristen's comedy show and like they made this app where it turned Dick picks into art. And she's like, telling what language is this?

She's like, what is sketch comedy? If you're lucky to get enough picture with Dick Cavett, you should frame it and put it in your living room, darling. Like Ken did. I think it's rather rude to be talking about Dick Clark. And he just died. They give them poor man some rest. Dick Cheney may have done some shady things, darling,

but he's wonderful with the swans. Darling, what's funny about Dick Van Dyke and a painting? He's a national treasure. Are people wearing Dickies again, darling? It's the best thing to come out of Kristen's mouth that I've ever heard. Darling, I never knew you had such an interesting sporting goods shop. So let's see. So they're talking about dick picks and at least it's like, well, I've never gotten one. And Katie's like, yeah, I never got a dick pick either. I sort of missed that.

I'm like, the only pictures that she ever gets is like, yeah, I never got a dick pic either. I sort of miss that. I'm like, the only pictures that she ever gets are like, just all three images of iceberg lettuce and rest on the side. Hey, baby. She's like, guys, guys just keep sending me soft dicks. It's weird. It's actually just pictures of Cheatowels, but you know, they sort of look like penises.

I don't know. It's like, I was thinking of this hilarious sketch where guys send girls dick pics But then when the girls see them it turns the dick soft Okay, do your magical eyes your magical gaze so then Kristen goes over to Jackson's place and And and so he's annoyed about this whole dick pic situation and again Jacks you gotta work on your wording he's like I've got a bone to pick with you. You gotta listen to what you say Jacks and he's like look I'm sorry I lied to you Bay but you know I didn't want to fight it a public event.

Check for that one very nice and you shouldn't be lying to your girlfriend. I don't care if it's in public. You should be honest with me. It's like next time, babe. Yeah. So, Stasi's over to you because they're going to listen to the podcast that Jack said. The podcast episode Jack's did. And Brittany is like, look, I just don't feel good about it.

And wait, where does this, it was rude. Oh, Jacks, look at rude. Jacks, if you don't want your dick out there, stop taking pictures of your dick and sending it to people fool. What are you getting upset about? Yeah, who's fault is it that you're basically in a room of women that you've slept with? Okay, you're the common denominator here and probably the lowest one too. So just remember you have no one to blame but yourself. Well, so does Brittany though, because Brittany's like, oh, room is

looking at his penis. Now it's her by it. I was very hurt. Like, girl, that's called a good guy. You need to go get that checked out. It's called girl. You should do some due diligence next time you fall for a guy over Instagram. Okay. And watch the TV show that he's been on for the past three or four seasons. And then you won't be so surprised when these things happen. No kidding. You've got free rent. Like you, you're on TV. You've gotten a lot from the guy that you moved here for from Instagram. Now do what every other girl in LA does. He does that. Find a better one.

Or at least make a turkey sandwich. Who'll make a turkey sandwich? Yeah, your choice. Yeah, so Jack's the only reasonable thing, which is finally change the subject from him to Tom and Lala. And he's gossiping about how Lala was trying to apologize and Tom was really upset. So this, of course, gets Stasian Kristen riled up.

And Kristen's like, I think the only person who can Factually screw Lala over is James Kennedy seriously seriously She's like they yeah, they like she tells everyone she can't stand James But like they were on Snapchat together, so do they hate each other and just pretend to be friends because they don't have friends Or they just both try and they like get each other's snapchat people. Like, this is a mystery and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it. Yeah. The world's biggest mystery.

People who say they're not friends, but then sometimes hang out. Yeah, crazy. Stasi, I know for a fact that Lala is dating a married man, okay? And it's her word against mine, so we need proof from James. You know what you need? You need to get a fucking line. You also need to drop those shoulder pads,? You need to get a fucking line. You also need to drop those shoulder pads, lose 20 pounds, and get a normal diet job. You look like a crazy fucking puppet.

You idiot. Why do you people keep going after people that have nothing to do with you? You're basically going after someone 10 years younger than you, most likely with a meth habit, and now he's going to be fat because he's addicted to ice cream. You know what? Go kick somebody else, you lame fucking bitch. I'm so sick of her, and I'm so excited to see her get her ass handed to her again.

Yeah, yeah, it's this is to me. This is a battle she's going into and I don't understand why. Like I don't understand anymore the motives. I don't know why she's so bothered by Lala and her boyfriend at this point. Is it really by everybody else? It's like Lala James, Ariana, all these fucking people get a life lady. Yeah, but that's what we love Stasi for being a busybody, a bitchy busybody. So speaking of Lala and James, Lala shows up at James's apartment and She's like, yeah, what do you have anything to drink? He's like, no, but I have ice cream. And he tells us, the only time ice cream is for ice cream.

This was another awkward James moment, because he's like, I love it. It's so creamy and smooth. I love it in my mouth. It's like, oh, God. There's a way to squash those gay rumors, James. Yeah, he's like, it's cream. It's delicious. It's pretty much everything you want in your mouth. I love swarrowing it.

It's like, oh, it's so, so awkward. How does no one know? It's like, wait a second. I think I'm getting some inspiration. All right, our scream, you scream. We're all scream for our scream all right Let's do it. Let's let's let's track a lot. Okay, hey nobody's screaming like I'm screaming for you mr. Ice cream ice cream man. I'm in good humor to be oh good good humor good humor I'm in good humor to see roll pop okay. I'm just going with the flow now Lalaala. You sing now, Lala, you. All right, here's your new song. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, now. You know what Lala, you know what Lala, I'm going to call thought you calling you now. You're my little New York superfudge chunk.

That's what you are. You're my chunky monkey stuff, that's you're not Lala. Yeah, I went to a gay bar the other day and I met a clon-dike. Ha, ha, ha, ha, quite delicious. Little hard on the outside, but she went down just fine all the same. What can I say? It's it. Oh good. So Lala comes over and she's like, are you reading? And he's like, she's just getting a little music knowledge. She's like gross. Thank you on ice cream. She um, I'm a grown-ass woman.

Do you have any liquor? I was like, no, scream for ice cream, et cetera. And she's like, what happened to you? You used to like ice to come over and you used to like pop bottles. And now you're all like whatever ice cream. It's like, what is it working out? Go ahead. It's like, it's like, uh, it's not always the best approach to someone

trying to stop drinking Loller. Like, we thought Shino was pretty bad with Shay, but Loller just out now just shames him. What's wrong with your eating ice cream? Why are you some pussy? He doesn't drink anymore. Seriously. I need my mama. Yeah, I'll get to a sponsor. Grey goose. Okay. Just sponsor. Next time you have a problem, call Grey goose. She'll help. He was like, I'm busy hoping for a drumstick. Ben and Jerry are taking care of that quite fine. Thank you, darling. So he decides as James does, when he gets offended about something, he immediately just turns it back on the other person. So he's like, what about the trip?

Why didn't you go? I heard you didn't show up. And she's like, well, because Lala packed a suitcase and then Lala decided not to take Lala suitcase to the airplane. That's why I'm like, just sick of all these suitcases full of negativity. Like I don't want to be around that anymore But you packed it with your own clothes Lala. I don't care Negative clothes you know I love it

And James James is like well, thanks a lot because that was my ticket to go. Yeah, right. Yeah James you still wouldn't have been going there boy poor thing. Yeah Exactly so the Lala said that she spent the weekend with her dog at the Breville Hills Hotel And he's like, oh did you boy from play pay for that? I said, no my mama pay for it. Because I need my mama He's like, well then if your mama paid for it, then how come I couldn't convince you she's like Wait, I like it Yeah, Lala invites you cordially to go to Malibu on a helicopter instead With friends Lala invites you to land a helicopter on Lala invites you cordially to go to Malibu on a helicopter instead. With friends. Lala invites you to land a helicopter on Lala's friends Roof, which has a Lala helipad on it.

Lala, and he's like, what? What kind of girl goes on a helicopter? You're getting just from a boy friend and she's like, look, those girls at work are like the only girls in LA who ask how Lala is doing this, okay? For those girls to live here their whole life and not be on a private jet at least once, like ask any bitch, she's not ugly with tits, okay? They've done it. It's love. Love love. I love how she's like, yeah, those girls are the only ones wherever are like, how do you pay for

that? I'm like, but you realize that every single other person is asking that. They may have been asking into your face, but it's not just the Van Opomp Roles, good kids. Yeah, it's like her first job off of one of the boat girl things in Saudi Arabia. So it's like the first girls who don't understand. Yeah, I love how she just her reasoning for why she's able to get on a helicopter is she just says, dude, that's just the way it works in LA.

I'm like, we actually know how things work in LA. And that's why I think people are thinking the worst of you right now. Because the way things work usually involves something on your knees. Yes, that's not free. It's someone's pooping on your face. Okay. That's all we see. We're like, fourth thing, you cannot spray enough

base on to rid the image of a guy from satire rabies sitting on your face. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, no, no, no, no, no, that I had no problem with that. I was just reflecting on how she had said that for all these girls to live in LA and never have been on a private jet, it's just like I don't understand. It's like, it's not a given that when you arrive here, you know, a private jet just pulls up in front of your apartment in, you know, East Hollywood, in between, you know, Zanku, chicken, and the auto body shop, and you hop in, and you fly elsewhere, it's just not the way LA works, I'm sorry. And those to get your face shit on.

So, Stassy, Kristen, at lunch, okay, so they're stressed out to meet James. Which I don't know why James even is meeting these idiots, but Stassy's like, if I could online shop right now Totally be doing it. Some stuff are like Amazon. Am I right? And it just makes me laugh that stupid Stasi Um is going on Amazon to not feel depressed, but Lala is the model for most of those clothes like literally the model. Yes, for those clothes People are always posting like, look,

it's her on group on. Look, it's her on Amazon. That's just the way it works. That's just what LA is. You like show up and then you model for group on. That's what it is. And it's also funny that she's always modeling these really loose cotton dresses. They all look like what Katie picked out for the uniform. It's probably the most torturous thing for Katie. I just think it's like really hurtful that she'd go out of her way to model things that I want to wear. She totally gave my waitress dress idea to Amazon. She's gonna write an email when she's drunk to Amazon customer support saying, listen, I'm not telling you who should model for you because you're your own service, but I just find it to be really hurtful that you choose Lala instead of me. It's just I just don't get it like why Like um who is this? Oh

My god, what I draw. Okay. Oh my phone. So Stasi and Kristen are there James shows up and when he sits down And Kristen's like okay. Here's the such. I'm just gonna be straight up about this. Lala's a hoe, she's a bitch, and she literally terrorizes Katie. And all she did ever, if all she ever did was say that Katie had a winter body. And then she wanted to fuck Tom, and then she didn't know that we get a list of it from Katie later. But I like that she's like, I don't want to see James, but if it means I can fuck Lola over. I'll take one for the team Idiot. So he is comes in he's got kind of teary eyes and he's wiping his nose

So you know congratulations on staying away from the drink next up coke Like baby steps darling So um, yeah, she's, she's a hoon bitch. And then James is like, I don't know anything about Lala. She doesn't tell anything. And he's like, no one said anything and Stasya goes, yeah, well, she's fucking a married dude. It's not like as a secret, like everyone knows that.

Like everyone, like seriously, everyone knows it. Ah, ah, ah. Yeah, then why do you have to call a lunch with James? Yeah, and by the way James is so impressionable. I mean he would just be do terribly on survivor because they're like well La La says that she doesn't like you so it's a really well guess what he has an NDA. Okay read it Yes, he's so easy this way. Yeah, he would rather than anybody so Basically, they went to Coachella. James, Lala, Tom and Ariana, they went to Coachella and they said that this amazing, amazing house that Lala's

boyfriend got for them and they got all this special access, etc. But James said like one of the conditions was that he had to sign an NDA that declared that he was never allowed to talk about the boyfriend ever, ever, ever, ever. Yeah. And so he whips out his phone because he's got a picture of this NDA. And then, oh my god. And Christians are like, well, the NSA, like, they're ruining the country.

No, I'm just joking. I'm just joking. Where's Jack Stick? Now they're really mad about NDAs or whatever and Kristen's like, you signed an NDA? He's like, well I'm short, Tom and Ariana got one, otherwise they couldn't stay in the house.

And Stasi's like, yeah, well I have my suspicion about NDAs because they never ever say anything bad about Lala. And then it cuts to Tom being like, but they give Ray Drove his way for free sometimes. And then it cuts to Tom being like, but they give rage rubbers away for free sometimes. Yeah, all this it was supposed to be like a usual suspects Kajasa Soze moment, but it just wasn't. It was just times when they sort of casually stood up for Lala in the face of evil. Yeah, it's not that bad. NDA. Well, Chris is probably like trying to still understand how James could be a professional

basketball player. Like, no, it's NDA, not NBA, Kristen. Oh. And the thing is, hey, I love that drug. It's like X. Like, what's up with Lala's boyfriend offering people contracts up in the NBA? Like, that's so fucked up. That makes sense as to why Tomlake sports now. I didn't know he was good at basketball, but whatever.

So let's see. I can't believe you went to business school because of this guy. I know that's NBA. Also, they're so stupid because Ananda Scroozer wouldn't say they can't be mean to Lala. It just says they can't say who her boyfriend is or whatever. Yeah. I don't think they really understand how that works. It doesn't cover a la la.

It only covers him. Stu, Kristen's like, well, I for one refused to have my life dictated by special interest groups. No, that's the NRA, not an NDA. Oh, seriously. One time my son did NHL. One time I called up NHL and was like, where's my package? And they're like, that's DHL. I was like, oh, one time my son did ATT and it was so hard to get a new phone.

I'd wait like two years for a new iPhone. So I still think it's weird that our time zone is in PDF. That's weird. That's PST. Huh? Isn't that what soldiers get? No, that's PTSD. I'm not paying for Adobe Acrobat. I don't want to join the circus. They just closed. Why would anyone pay for Adobe Acrobat when they treat animals so poorly? So poorly. I'm going to hashtag that and put it on a t-shirt. So they're done with the meeting and James is like, am I done here? Pussy. And Stasi's like, yeah, that was actually kind of fun.

Thank you very much for your services. And then they just laugh evenly. He walks away like a little whizzy is rat. You know, James, you're, you've gone low on this show before. But you're turning on the only person who has ever nice to you by ratting. I mean, now you're adding rat to your... Oh, Vua. Well, maybe he just wants her to break up with her awful, awful boyfriend, wherever that may be.

No, maybe he's just awful and he thought that these girls were actually going to make an effort to be nice to him and help him get back into work. Listen, he's not in a sober state. He is just high on ice cream. He just can't be held accountable for the things he does and that creamy, creamy state. Yes, we all know it's heavy, heavy, can do the woman. We've all been there, y'all. So then very exciting things because we meet Brittany's mom who to me sort of look like a photo negative of Caroline Ray.

You know, that is such a good, I'm sorry I was drinking coffee. That is such a good call and they actually just showed Caroline Ray on some new Hollywood squares type thing. And she does look like brown haired overly tanned Caroline Ray. But she looks like light lips. Yeah, she put like some But it looks like light lips. Yeah, she put like, Suntown lotion only on her lips. Like, Sunblock on my own.

She's got like, white lips and then like a dark brown face. It's a weird. It's a little weird. Yeah. So anyway, her name is Sherry. Um, and... I hate that I had to take Y'all's band. It's a real sorry about that. I'm like My cut good. You slept in Jackson's bed. Yeah, I'm more sorry for you lady

God no kidding you feeling a little itchy in your in your snitchy. I mean she probably went into that She probably went into that bed white and came out tan Why are you looking at me so crazy, Brittany? She probably just naturally wears advantages or perfume anyway, being from Kentucky. It's $30 a month, but I'll tell you what, I haven't had a tick since I had Brittany. I just put them on my neck, back on my neck.

I just had to take pills. I hated the attitude of my food. I'd be to take pills. I hate it. They have to hide in my food. I'll be like, well, I'll tell you what, I used to put frontline on, but I classed it up a little bit over the years now to advantage only for me. They start talking about how they're from a farming techie from a very religious family. I'm like, uh-huh, your daughter just hooded up and moved out of town for some dick she found on Instagram. Yeah, so exactly. She's from a religious family.

Yeah. Well, she fits the bill. When think about our families, we're on our knees a lot. Is that good? Well, all right. Chip off the old block there. Yes. Jack says something about how he doesn't want to raise a family in, um, is this when they're driving? No, it's not. No, it's still when they're at their house.

Am I just right? This is hilarious that this girl is with Jackson. She's from a place called K. Y. It's like perfect. Ah, ah, ah, ah, it is perfect. Yeah. Jack says that he doesn't want to raise a family in LA. He wants to go to Florida and raise a family there. I'm like, is that really a trade-up? Is that really a trade-up? See, guys, we'd love Florida. And of course you do.

It's like the same thing. It's like a different neighborhood of the same America, you know, with beaches. But he comes in carrying coffee from Starbucks and she's like, did you get us coffee? And he's like, no, we spent like $200 on a curing. So you can make your own like a classie. He's like going to go well. He's like, I don't have to make my own, but you have to make your own. And she said, nah, did you ever start going to church? And he's like, yeah, I'm not really a fan.

And you know, churches with like they throw dust on you and there's like, yeah, I'm not really a fan. And you know, churches with, like, they throw dust on you and there's like those big organs. Like, I can't relate to millions of years ago. I think the throwing the dust, that's not a thing, right? He was talking about incense. They put incense in these swinging balls. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Catholic church and they come down swinging them

And there's like a little smoke that comes out of them or whatever right frankincense. Is it frankincense? Frank I don't know incense like you're asking a Jewish person, so I don't know Well, there's so many different kinds of Christians. I don't know what they do. I don't know what kind of damn church He went to you, but she says uh, oh, Jake's I got to have had a coastal church. We don't do that. And he's like, that sounds like a cult. So then we go to, so now it's time for Katie's shower in Eagle Rock. I don't know why I wrote down Eagle Rock. Like when I saw that they had, it was happening in Eagle Rock

for some reason that bothered me, but that's because I have a thing against Eagle Rock and it's based off of nothing. I just feel like it's very far and inconvenient to get to. But um, it sounds so fancy like there Would be I don't know like an Indian casino at least. I mean Eagle Rock, but then you get there and you're like, oh, it's just I'm further away Glendale like I'm not gonna take like one extra highway to get to it. It's really annoying. Yeah, I'm everyone's like yeah Eagle Rock that's like the new thing. It's like the new silver like I'm like no, it'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving.

I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving.

I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving.

I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm not driving. I'm sorry. Yeah. I was telling my friend. She's like, why don't you just move to Glendale? It's amazing. And I was like, well, it's far. And she goes far from what, though, do you ever think about that? Like far from what? Like, uh, nice odors. How about that? Far from Isozives. So, um, Kristen, uh, so the girls are getting ready for, for this shower, because Katie doesn't know it's gonna happen. And Chris, he's, Kristen's like, kid is wedding is so important. She's like, I'm like willing to put things in my life on hold for this shower. Like, what exactly are you putting on hold? Is it your audition for Saturday Night Live? I could have been picking t-shirts right now.

And she is excited too. And we know this because she goes, I'm really excited for t-shirts right now. And she is excited too. And we know this because she goes, I'm really excited for this battle, Jammer. Everybody gets a bottle of tequila when they leave. Weee. And she says, I'm really excited, but like I was saying,

how much I cost. I mean, her spouse, she's on the, John, the dollars to talk about like. Oh, Shush print John, John, that's what Taco Bell like. Oh, Shush, print to canvas lady. Katie, they just copied her order off of her order at home app.

They just call up Taco Bell and like, listen, our friend is a big fan. Can you look up frequent purchases? Yeah, she's in our, she's in our system. That's one of our loyalty reward members. She's a pioneering number. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's the one who just told Maria our window lady that she's a stupid boop and the suck up. Oh, my God. That's her. It Kate. Now Katie, Katie Maloney, she's the one who told us that she really likes us and she really respects us, but she thinks it's really fucked up that sometimes we serve Lala tacos, right?

Yeah, great. Yeah, we have her order right here. Hey, let me talk to them. Hey, Taco Bell. Now, if someone thinks you, don't you break? I mean, hey, you make a bell out of a taco! I want to try to eat the Liberty Bell over in Philadelphia, but it wasn't made of taco. I broke my teeth.

That's what is a crack in it. So stupid. So Stasi breaks the news. She's like, we're met with chance and Christians like, y'all, they're like, and she ain't no one like this. Oh! Ah! Ah!

Ah! And she didn't even like this That's her that's the sound of her brain breaking that's what I imagine oh my god. I was laughing so hard What the hell I Can't believe she's on Nandia three years after my wearing. So Stasi's like, yeah, well, I want to know if he signed it. Like they were at Coachella. I'm going to ask. I'm going to ask Ariana. Like, that's her big thing.

So back in the car, mom and Jack's are driving in a the mom's giving Jack. Yeah. I just want to say quickly before you say what you're saying, they're driving through Silver Lake and the mom's just giving Jack. Yeah. I just want to say quickly before you say what you're saying, they're driving through Silver Lake and the mom goes, radio, drive, where's that? And for anyone who lives in Los Angeles, it's a hilarious because they're so far from Beverly Hills, but like they're driving by the Astro Diner. And for some reason, just like expecting radio to drive to pop up at some time soon.

So I'm like, where's the Hollywood sun? Where's that Hollywood sign? I won't see that. Where is Amastellan and Ryan Gosley? I thought they're supposed to be dancing around here somewhere. That movie they named after that waitress in your restaurant. You know Lala, you know, I love her film. Great movie.

It's not her movie. That's Christian, just bellowing summer. She's so mad at all the credit Lala's getting these days in the words. The word word circuit on boycotting the awards. I'm not gonna watch your Oscars. I will not support Lala or her land. You know that Lala probably just got that land from some old rich dude because she's a whore. So they're talking the mom's just basically pressuring jacks about marriage and she's like, well, you know, how long you think in maybe a year, maybe two.

And he's like, God, look, it's not the 60s anymore. She's like, well, great. she's looking so pissed and then Britney's It's like no one told me that So she's she's getting pissed off like visibly pissed off and in the backseat Britney goes times the ticking for you I fucking love her. Another day another dollar. So Katie arrives and they give her this like snapchat filter flower hat thing. I'm like a jelly. Well, and also Stasi is grumbling because she's mad that Ariana gets to be like a groomsman and hang out with the girls. like Katie didn't want you here She wanted you here 0% and you're here 100%

Just relax Yeah, so I just you know snapchat flower filter like were they could they not find the youth filter? So Katie she showed up at her own shower looking So Katie, she showed up at her own shower looking extra Japanese hard movie as her hair was just like down in front of her face. All her clothes were just like droopy and drapey, her pants. And then they interrupted, they brought her to this mansion. Stasi's like, yeah, but like we really care about Katie. So we got a mansion because you know, like so maybe it costs a little more like our fans happiness is worth it.

Like, mm-hmm. Okay. That is the ugliest ass mansion. A, B, white stained carpet, and C, Eagle Rock Eagle Rock. That's I say. I mean, girl, I'm not to say a mansion in Eagle Rock. Did you get her a fucking helicopter to bring her here too? You should've been nice to the Lala. That's just how it works in L.A. But not in the Iraq. I'm believe we had to go I air off. Well, they made a Taco Bell tower for the catering because I guess they blew their wand on the Eagle Rock mansion.

They're being ironic. It's ironic. It's like high-low culture. Like, hello, Katie. High-low culture. High-low culture. High-low. High-low.

Shock. It's being a high-low culture, Lisa Vanderpump arrives, which was shocking considering that Lisa Vanderpump went to Eagle Rock. That really is. I mean, she really loves this job, if she's going all the way to Eagle Rock. That's, I mean, that's dedication, by the way. That's real dedication going to Eagle Rock when you release a Vanderpump. She must have been on the way to Erica jeans house or something

Because that's the next stop on the express so yeah Lisa comes and she immediately meets Brittany's mom And she's like oh hello like she's talking to this feeble old sad person like yes You gave birth to Brit me. How does that feel for you darling? You are like yes, that feel for you darling? You are. I guess that must still hurt darling. Tell me. So, um, she's so how well do you know, Jacks? And she's like, well, he's been to the country. He's been to Kentucky.

She's like, hmm, how did he do in a farm, darling? Did the animals suddenly have looser but holes on his way out? Any pregnant goats Shares like well, I just want to get Jack the church and hopefully pews like well first you have to get him out of jail first I was like ooh She's like jail. I don't understand it was hey, a lot of people go to church in jail. Our family's totally behind it. Shit, you get more religious than jail, especially rampant for a roll time,

a patrol time. A patrol time. A patrol time. A patrol time. Oh, everyone fires Jesus. Ray and then girl. Yeah. Well, I like, so at one point, Britney was like, well, Jack's breaks my heart.

I'm gonna break his dick. And then Lisa Vanderpump did a Brittany impersonation. It was so funny. Lisa Vanderpump was like, Oh, that pole girl. She's like, if you break my whole world, you'll break your dick. I was like, well, Lisa Vanderpump, where did that come from? I know she can do impersonations. She's done Brittany a couple of times. That's always really funny. I know she could do impersonations. She's done for me a couple of times. It's always really funny. I think she did when when Britney showed up and underweared. Yeah, to do the job interview. So funny. So meanwhile, the boys are having lunch at El Coyote, which I love that place. They're like, yeah, four, four rounds or four shots of Don Julio and she

goes, okay, let's get this party going Little of lady waitress. Mary. Yeah, Marisol from marriage, Madison, Houston. That was so cute So all the girls are pretending that this marriage is okay because that's how girls do they're like congratulations And all the boys are like don't do it. Yeah, don't do it Tom short says well I don't like the concept of marriage, but I want to see Katie happy. So I'll marry her like wow That's just so much romance right there. I mean, I can really feel the love and the passion Nothing like sad compromise to To kick off a wedding, right?

Yeah. Yeah, congratulations. So let me see. So then they're doing gifts over at the girls house. Katie's in her element. She's sitting in a throw and everyone's on the floor. She just looks like a pile of rags. She looks like an anthropology, like, return aisle, you know, everything's just piled

on the floor waiting for hangers. She does. She really does. She's opening gifts and she and he gives her her is and she's like, this is something now or something old or something It's basically a book about blues clothes I found it to be a very stimulating read Maybe just tell me where everything is Fucking SEMA I just got to lots of blist up. This one's possibly narrow. I think I have one of each of the prime blue cocktails. Katie's like, um, thanks. And then she gets lingerie from someone

and she's trying to figure out how it would even go on. Cause it's like this stringy thing. And she's like, yeah, see, this is why I don't wear lingerie. Yeah, so it's inside out. Mimal of Banderpump is one's like, yeah, see, this is why I don't wear lingerie. Yeah, so it's inside out. Me and my band are pumped. I'm like, oh, finally a good uniform. So let's see, banderfront gives her the best gift. She's like, darling, you know, I've been married for a long time and it gets tedious. So I heard there was this lady named Katie and it's a blowup doll.

Katie Cougar the blowup doll. Yeah and then Katie showed some sense of humor. She's like, oh wowly so this is actually perfect because it looks like a mixture between me and you and you know like he likes to me not to talk and he wants to fuck you. So it's perfect. Perfect. I love how this bluptalk comes with like lots of oversized drapey clothes. Could you spray it with someone for your perfume so we can start getting hard on again? That would be great. No, there's a gift. So Shina and Ariana and Stasi and Katie. This is a girls decide they're gonna attack Ariana. Ariana. Yeah. And Shina's like, guys, black or red.

Hey Ariana, we heard some endless thing and the fall. It's like, yeah, we met with James. And we heard about an NDA agreement. Yeah, and Ariana was like, well, yeah, I never got one. I actually never saw the boyfriend. I saw James in a Laugh like two seconds and You know, Stas is like she's lying. She's totally lying and Katie Katie was like, you know I just I hate that like Ariana that you're defending Laugh. I'm like well then why did you bring it up?

Why did you put her in her position where she has to defend Laugh? Yeah, she wasn't even defending her. She just said that she didn't sign an NDA She's like we just went there we didn't see a guy at all we just stayed in this house and that was it. So like yeah, but I just don't like that you're defending her. She's not and then she's like yeah well what did what did Ariana say back she's like yeah but what about she said she said something to defend herself like, well, what about what you guys say about? I somehow got to Kristen like somehow I actually could not I had a little bit of trouble following it, but somehow it was they were comparing the situation to Kristen. Like you could say that

Kristen has said a lot of shit about you, but you've said a lot of shit about. Oh yeah, well, I've remember what it was because she goes there. That's not cool that she's like with a married guy like how do you think the wife feels in the area on this said yeah but what about the guy like he's the married one and she goes you're the fending her again like you're the fending her and Katie's like I don't get it like you barely know where it doesn't add up you know know, and then she goes Lala like Lala that shamed me. She said she wanted to fuck my boyfriend You know, and then she even ditched Ariana for her trip and they're still standing up for her

Really and then Ariana's like well, Kristen said bad things about you and you're fine with it Yeah bad things about you and you're fine with it. Yeah. And that's what it was. That's what it was. And then I think maybe there's also part of it that like, you know, they defended Kristen when when Kristen was saying should about Ariana to and somehow we got this implication like, well, you and Kristen both did terrible things to each other and Aaron is like, no, you know, I like like Kristen was above and beyond awful to me and she was terrible. and then and then Stasi then gets on this thing of like that

Ariana doesn't care that she stole Kristen's boyfriend or that Lala's getting married man. They're trying to paint Ariana as this like morally bankrupt. Yeah, like they're sticking out for her because she also stole a boyfriend like but like Ariana did not steal a boyfriend at all She also stole a boyfriend like but like Ariana did not steal a boyfriend at all They they kissed they they shared a kiss and Kristen was objectively awful Truly terrible and Kristen by the way slept with jacks. Yeah, it's like saucy Kristen fucked your boyfriend while you were with him Yeah, yeah Exactly and now it's all because an Ariana soul. No, what happened was that Tom dumped Kristen's ass and then realized, wait a second, Ariana is super cool and she's super hot.

Why don't I date her instead? That's how it worked. Yes, exactly. And she and Stasi starts getting all nasty like she's trying to basically call this girl a whore. And she's like, yeah, she doesn't care, oh, she doesn't care that she fuck Kristen's boyfriend. She doesn't care that she's fucking up Katie's bridal shower either. I'm like, you're the one starting a fight. I know. I love that. She's ruining Katie's bridal shower seriously. Like, who does that? I'm like,

Ariana was just standing there drinking like a cocktail. Yeah, she's like, look, I'm not even gonna try and be in a fight with like some weird fight with you guys. And Stasi's like, well, like, look, we've all said things about our friends and she goes, no, I haven't. I don't talk shit about that. I don't do that to my friends. And Stasi goes, then why are you here? She goes, cause I care about Katie. I don't give a fuck about you.

Like I'm not here for you. And Stasi goes, okay, so rude. Cause I care about Katie. I don't give a fuck about you like I'm not here for you and Stastie goes Okay So rude and then she like runs out to cry again. Well, I liked I like it because that's so rude Well, I liked how even before that happened Katie was trying to say something I think he is like it's my fucking bridal shower and she just walks away I'm getting upset. Yeah.

And then I liked also when when when Stasi was saying that thing about like, listen, we all have been in fights with friends. We haven't talked for a year in Ariana's. They're like, not me. And then Stasi goes, well, then don't be here. Yeah. Stasi goes, well then don't be here. Yeah, Stasi tried to use that a lot today, where she was saying, oh, well, we've all been in five to their friends or when Brittany was hurt

about the dick pick thing. She's like, well, I guess we've done so many terrible things to each other in this group that we don't like don't even care. Like we just think it's funny. I'm like, that's not good, Stasi. Yeah, it's not a good, that's not good. Stossy. Yeah, it's not good. That's not good. You know, she's talking about it like this is great thing. Like at least you found other people to be fucking awful in this world with. Yeah, and I like the logic that when Ariana says that she doesn't have girlfriend that she fights

with and stars says, so don't be here. Like, you're only allowed to be here. If you're willing to get into a fight that could last two years. Yeah, exactly. What losers? But overall, a really fun episode. And I absolutely loved watching Ariana Han Stasi's after her. Oh, yeah.

I mean, Stasi never fucking learned. She keeps trying to come up against Ariana. And Ariana Han's her fat ass every single time. You go girl. Yeah. No. No. No.

Stasi is pretty vicious in life, but she just can't, she just can't go up against Ariana because because Stasi has nothing, she has nothing on her side. She has rumors. She has, she has conjecture. And none of it has to do with her. Yeah. That's the thing. She doesn't really have an axiocryon in this, except that it cements her position as the queen bee amongst her girls.

And she's not at loyalty, loyalty. Yeah, and she's not. She's just some lame girl who just walks around wanting some husband to abuse. And she can't even find one little stay with her. It's like, shut up, Stasi. Like, you're awful. Go to therapy. But it's amazing what being called a winter body can do, right?

It can kickstart an entire season of drama because this is all, this is a whole just, they're just, this is all just revenge for being called a winter body. And then the previews are showing Tom and drag going, he's a body and wife. Man, look at him. Those skills amazing. All right, so everybody that brings us to the end of Vandipoop. Drules, we will be back next week with this show and we'll be back the rest of the

week with some summer house real housewives of Beverly Hills and we are going to do a little dip into the married to medicine pool because some of you are not liking that we dumped that. So we will be undumping it this week a little bit, a little bit, a little bit. So we'll be going because you know, we got to catch up with some couples trip in Hawaii. That's just hilarious. Anyway, no comments. Thank you, everybody so much for being here.

We will talk to you next time. Boi. Hi. Thank you everybody so much for being here. We will talk to you next time. Booy! Bye! at 1dry.com slash survey.