Watch What Crappens - #386 PumpRules: Ground Control to Model Tom

Episode Date: February 8, 2017

Tom Sandoval is going to infinity and beyond! Or at least Peter's roof. Our fave Vanderpump Rules bartender/model/musician is getting back in touch with his inner-thespian by shooting a dramatic cameo in Peter's new sci-fi blockbuster. Meanwhile, Katie is still on a bridal power trip, this time terrorizing Scheana at Pandy's house and later Tom #2 over drinks. But seriously guys, she's SUCH a nice person. Come listen! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode is brought to you by our Patreon premium subscribers, Madonna Hines, and Chrissy Dowardy. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap is. And to follow us on social media go to watchac crap ends. And to follow us on social media, go to watch our crap ends.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey, everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends.

A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker What crap ends? hashtag tv.com and the Rosebrook spatula podcast and real house was a Beverly Hills audio books. What's up Ronnie? What's up, man? Oh, not much. Just hanging out here with Instagram live on hi everyone on Instagram live. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, they're sending hearts. They're sending hearts. And if they're not, they're going to start sending them right now because I command them to love a heart. We, if you missed yesterday's episode, we start up an Instagram account and we are already closing in on a thousand followers in like, you know, three days, which is pretty cool. So thanks everyone who's following us on Instagram already.

And today, I mean, I don't think we have anything to plug. I think today we're just, we're getting into it. It's Vanderpump Rules Day, which is one of our favorite days of the week. I love me some Vanderpump Rules, man. Katie. God, Katie makes me feel like such a well-adjusted mature in the middle of an asshole.

So one of our podcast friends, the Sexy Unique podcast, I don't know if you saw this, but they also have an Instagram account. And Katie got drunk over the weekend and started leaving nasty comments all over their Instagram feed and it's hilarious She's like I thought we were saying things like I thought we were cool, but I guess not like shit Like you know like the typical Katie sort of things more

Wow Wow, I didn't realize this is the part where you're an obnoxious to me or something that's stuff like that. I would look it up, but I have this Instagram live thing on. So it's just classically. I would look it up, but Katie's a dick. So I'm not even going to give her the pleasure. Yeah, there's no reason to, there's no need to do an exact quote because we can all imagine what she would write and that's what she wrote.

Come on. Yeah, I thought we were cool, but like also think that when someone does something that hurt someone's feeling, that they just apologize. I'm not one of those people to make it all about me, but it is. I'm like, you know, you're posting this stuff on Instagram and I'm like, I'm like such a nice person and I don't, I'm like such a nice person and I don't know why would you do that? Cause I'm like so nice and I care about Sassy

and I don't know why, but you can do what you wanna write, you can do what you want on Instagram, but have some loyalty, I don't get it. How's some loyalty? Katie's a dick, okay? What a dick All right, so let's get right into this Katie speaking of Katie Katie sitting at home with Tom number two who at this point I'm starting to get why they call him number two Tom. You're basically just a pile of shit there

Standing there letting a fly crawl all over you barfing all over you and eating you up, a little tiny piece of the time. Until you're all dried up and useless, you just crumble under someone's foot. What is your point, fly? What is your point, Tom? Like, what are you doing? What are you even doing with your life?

Guy is just a passive person in his own life. And I also want to point out something else. We have incorrectly been saying all season that Katie and Tom have like a chalkboard up that says Bubba all over it. They don't have a chalkboard. It's spray paint. Did you notice that? Oh, good. They refeedy their they refeedy Bubba on like a giant piece of tarp or not tarp canvas. And then they put it up as if it's the street art. It's like wow that's really great. You're your printed canvas is straight straight mine is myself. That's like Banksy. Hi Banksy. No it's not like a bank

like we're not corporate like that. Yeah that's good luck with that Banksy because it's gonna hurt you like $5 over time. We try and get cash. Is that like a Keith Haring? Oh my God. Like why would you call it a fish? Oh, Cena as if she know what no Keith Haring is. So this is I know I was like wow,

Cena really got educated. I know she now last week. I know two things. Prime cocktails and Keith Herring. What does everybody, Keith Herring, draw? Look like shea. Yeah. Why are they always dancing?

Are they in my backup dancers? So Katie has gotten her $18.50 invitations delivered, but unfortunately they don't have Jesus, Jesus, right? I'm already mad. You don't even have to, because I'm already mad, because I know what you're gonna say. They don't have like an RSVP line, so they're not gonna know who comes to their wedding. So I guess they made like little RSVP cards. They're so stupid. I know that you're supposed to with wedding invitations, guess they made like little RSVP cards. They're so stupid.

I know that you're supposed to with wedding invitations, obviously you put a line to say, so we can respond. But also you're supposed to number them too, so that what you know which ones haven't have or have not come back in yet. And they just did nothing. Instead what they did was they spent $18.50

on a piece of paper with shitty ass asymmetrical font that looks make Zapp the chancery look stately and they didn't put a single line for people to put their names in. I mean, it just makes me furious, but that with the tea towels, I mean, I can't. And someone wrote on their little card, someone put a penis as a yes and ton number two is like I can tell that that's uh you know Tom because that's how he likes his penises and I'm like you know I like my penises like with the longer shaft and bigger with the longer shaft. By the way um someone on Instagram I believe it's Kate the Great just said, I have to know how Keith Haring entered this conversation. Oh, he fell in love. I just love how this whole episode,

the guys are all about how gay they are. Like the dick's suckery is strong on this show and they act like they're being funny like straight, they're like, ha ha, straight guys. No, you're gayer than most of the gay guys I know. They are fully gayer than all other people. These guys are gayer than me. They probably get more blow jobs than I do. Yeah, absolutely Absolutely, they are they're definitely like the gayest people in bravo right now and I don't say that judgmentally I say it jealous Lee

Because I look at them and I'm like they all got their dick sucked by a dude today I mean first of all they have the bodies of gay men. That's for sure. They are into fashion more than most gay men. And they are always like a pride. So very good. Jack's is more like, he's like Palm Springs gay, you know? Like we're like the skin tarp over his bumpy face.

Have you noticed that Jack's is getting all these knots and weird bumps all over his bumpy face. Have you noticed that Jackson's getting all these knots and weird bumps all over his face? What is that? Yeah, I don't know. I feel like it's whatever demon is inside of him is about to crawl out. It's like the sunglass hut demon. It's like I need glasses.

I think someone fed him after midnight. So Christian comes over to this lovely, this lovely, happy abode. Seriously? And Tom's like, give me the dirty deeds of what happened at the gig. And she's like, oh, I was just there like to eat popcorn and watch fireworks. So, um. I shouldn't have.

I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have. Kristen. That's all I can say to that. Just shut up. I think Kristen just heard that saying like, oh my God, pop the popcorn because That's all I can say to that. Just shut up. I think Christian just heard that saying, like, oh my god, pop the popcorn, because that's all she says now.

Yeah. Yeah, pop me some popcorn. Wow, welcome to like Facebook mom post from nine years ago. It's gonna be Kristen. I just imagine you're tumbling out of the Uber in front of the Redberry Hotel. I'm here, It's my stop. I know someone in residency.

So Tom asked for the deeds and Katie's like, um, Sheena texted me. Um, like telling me what was going on. And I was like, but like, why? Like, why are you even texting me? And I'm thinking she's going to say, like, why would I even care about James? That's none of my business. Like, you guys get a life. But instead, she's like, why would you text me? Like, with Shina and Arianna being friends again, it's like she's distancing herself. I'm like, okay. Oh, God, Katie.

So you don't want to focus on the person we're all focusing on being mean to right now. You're going to have to be focusing on somebody else. Like, get your game straight, Katie. So you don't want to focus on the person we're all focusing on being mean to right now. You're gonna have to like be focusing on somebody else like get your game straight. Kate. It was such a it was such a tenuous pull for attention on her like the way she built it. She made herself seem like a victim because then she also was saying how she was upset at her because she because Katie wasn't more interested inena's story about what happened to James. And that's so now Katie is like, I don't know why she'd be upset with me, but I didn't really care that much. I mean, and then she turns it into that she the reason why she didn't care is because Sheena and Ariana are hanging out. I'm like, you are so stupid.

Yeah, she really is. I'm just like, eat some more iceberg, let us and be quiet right now. And then she turns to Tom and she's like, well, I hope Ariana can get her ship figured out too because like, there are people in this wedding party who need to start falling in line. First, Gina and then Ariana and shut up. Your day is so stupid. And you know what? I'm so glad you're going in this such huge debt for your stupid fucking day with a man who can barely tolerate you and already doesn't fuck you because you're gonna be in debt forever for this. And no one even wanted to be there in the first place. Yeah, dumb bat on your Wednesday wedding. Yeah.

Comp day. You don't even get laid. I just like the Katy wants Ariana to apologize to Stasi when Stasi was being a bitch to Ariana first. Stasi was the one who was trying to confront Ariana at the wedding shower. She's the one who created the drama and it was about Lala of all people, you know. And by Katy wants Ariana to apologize, it's not because Ariana hurt Stasi's feelings. Come on. Stasi is the queen of hurting people's feelings. And we say that knowing that Stasi might very well be listening to us right now, and it's very scary. I'm scared right now as I talk.

Yeah, but Katie doesn't even care. She doesn't even care about Stasi. She's using this as a fight with Tom, like if Tom really loves her, then he'll get Arianna out of her party. You know, it's like she's trying to do all these things to make Tom prove that he loves her. Tom is telling you about just how much he loves you.

He's protecting himself in case he ever makes more than $5 a week so that you can't get any of it. He's complaining every step of the way. You had to force him to get a discount ring out of someone's bedroom last season, like downtown. I mean, what more does the man have to do to prove exactly how much he loves you? He does not love you very much, okay? You're like some roommate that just happened to need to give a blowjob when he

was around and he got stuck with you because he's too lazy. It's like that person you know with a terrible job who will never quit because they too lazy to go on the damn LinkedIn. It's like she's told Tom that she's she's she's she's carrying his baby and now it's like five years later and she still hasn't given birth yet and she keeps waiting. But with this whole argument, Katie is killing three birds with one stone. She is killing the bird of testing Tom's devotion to her. She is killing the bird of proving her loyalty to Stasi and she's killing the bird of once again trying to create some sort of hate campaign against Lala. But unfortunately these three birds, no one really cares about it.

It's like she just killed a bunch of like starlings. No one cares about starlings. Yeah. And she can't, she can't aim. Her aim is terrible. She can't aim. She's like, they're moreiously terrible. She knows she did, she killed peeps.

They're not even real birds. And if that had just left peeps on the front seat of her car, and they melted, it's like darn it. They melted. And she dipped her iceberg lettuce in the melted peeps. I've heard peeps and I didn't even get to eat them. Let's do that. So at Sir, Jack's Ariana and Sina are talking at the bar about modeling because Tom is getting back, getting back in the modeling, yo. Yeah, Tom is, I actually feel a little bad for Tom's end of all this episode.

He is sort of like a, the lost causiveness of his life is coming into focus, you know? Yeah. It's that thing when you, there's a thing in LA when you first get here, you don't really know what you're doing, so you're say like, yeah, I wanna do, I wanna be a writer, but I'd also like to dab on acting and like, I don't know, maybe directing. And I don't know, like, this guy said I could be a model. So I was thinking

about doing some modeling and I was working some curvature on the side. And like, that's what people in LA do. They are doing like 10 things all at once. Okay. When they first get here, but after you've been here for a while, if you've been here after, like, I would say to be generous, I'd say 10 years, but really it's after like five or six years. If you're still doing the multi-hyphenate, but nothing really, but nothing in one area, like, well, I'm a musician, but I'm also going to be a model, but I'm also going to be acting this in the right. Yeah.

You know, it starts to get sad. Well, it starts to get sad. Well, it starts to get sad. Well, it starts to get sad. Especially with modeling, because at least with acting, you can, you know, maybe you're just an old person and they happen to need an old person who looks like Leia Duval. Like maybe, you know, that could happen. But modeling, I just, I just thought it was happening.

Yeah. It's like an old guy with like highlights in his girl hair. I think he could, I think he could model. I mean, just I don't, I think he would do like, you know, like catalog stuff, you know, I think he would do stuff like where he's bent over a couch, like spreading his butt cheeks and there's like a baseball bat nearby. It's like a baseball theme, like porn or something, you know? I could see a modeling for something that would be on sale at Oz, you know, a HHS, you know, that's door.

No, really? It's on Sunset. would be on sale at Oz, you know, AHHS, you know, that store? No. Really? It's on Sunset. You go in there. It's kind of like a low rent version of Spencer's. Oh, God. It's like you can get like glasses that have the eyeball that come bouncing out of them,

but you can also get a wee. It makes no sense. Well, he's very cute. I just, I'm, I just modeling, you know, it's like, I went to the grocery store to take us out of milk, but I had beelers so I couldn't go into the whole food. So I had to get it from the liquor store and I got it and it said, it's expired on February 10th. And I'm like, this is so Tom's modeling.

It's like, you have three days. I know. But then I had the same time I also felt bad with him because he's essentially saying, listen, I want to make a name for myself. Otherwise, I could just be bartending over in St. Louis. And then I thought, what a strange, it's so strange because he's acting as if he hasn't made a name for himself. And yet he is a celebrity, you know, he's Tom Sandevol from Vanderbump Rules., it's all this stuff in the news this week. In the news.

I saw this on the fake news. And fake news. Oh, about Tom getting sued by his management company because he went with a different management company and it was showing how much he made. And he only made 15 grand for his entire first season of founder pump rules. And I think the next season, he made probably like $5 more. And then after that, he got a better manager. But now he's being sued by them and he lost actually.

So he owes him all this money and he's, what do you call it, appealing, which he's going to lose. I mean, he signed a contract. So he's probably going to lose. But time to get on hold. Yeah. Yeah, literally, like he could do that. I could see him up there being like,

you could. He could. Look at my look, I'm winking. I'm winking at you. Yeah, bro. He should be a go-go dancer like next door. You know, because by the way, pump never lived up to, you know, our aspirations that it would be

some CD sexy gay bar, you know, a gay bar called pump in the middle of West Hollywood. And there's not a go-go dancer in sight. And it's just planters and rosé and waiters and pink shirts with loose ties on. That's just not, that's not live up to the name pump. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm curious in versions. Yeah. And occasionally guys. And welcome to the room. Yeah. Yeah. some tuna tartar, pesticating pests around. So let's see, sheena is laughing and doing so for her. I just had to notice that because I have to note that because I just love watching sheena roll so

yeah, it's like my favorite thing on this show. While she's doing that, Ariana is talking about like, for 30 years, I've hated models, and like the irony that I'm like dating a model. Ariana. He's like a seat. So Vanderpump enters and she's like, hello, and she's in the house.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. How are you? Good. Hi. She did that later. Did you notice that Ariana, she didn she didn't do that later at at Pandey's house. She's like, how are you?

Good. It's like her favorite one to come. Right. I think I want to be each other. Prime Goddale's good. Right. Hey, we need to collect every scene. Ah, yeah, super cut.

Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, all the seals come out of the ocean. collect every scene. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. All the seals come out of the ocean. All the felicans from Top Chef. Top Chef. Something to put around the show.

So Lisa comes in and they're like, and they're talking about how they went to see James and their resolve this drama. And Lisa's like, darling, I let James go. So he could rebuild a life. Everything Lisa Vanderpump does is for somebody else. I love that she makes it like I did it for him. I did James the favor of letting him get a residency. I wanted him to spread his wings, but unfortunately he's a Kiwi and cannot fly. And Jack's like, yeah, well, I was just trying to, you know,

give him the benefit of the doubt because I love trans. Trance. Trans. You don't telling. You don't. There's always been an accident and you know it. Never gone out looking for that on purpose. He's like, I meant the music.

Leave him alone, darling. Leave me nice to James laugh Now that Lala is gone my heart must go to James again He will now be now that Gigi can't film anymore because she's a dirty hole And now that Lala is gone because she's signed a MDA now we will have judge our James returning to the pizza oven. Do we think we're ever gonna see Lala again? I feel like she is gone. I mean this is to me reminiscent of Heidi Montagg and the last season of the Hills where she got into a fight with the producers and the last season and then all of a sudden with like four or five episodes left, she just fully disappeared from the show. Well, I'm not sure because when they were shooting this summer, they everybody was tweeting like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, makes her face into a bounty house. New to 10. But then like a couple of months later,

she's like, I'm back bitches. Like, no, you're not. She's like, yes, I am. They're like, ah, ah, or she's like, yes, or. So I'm not sure how it happens. It doesn't matter. I think so. She has had, she honestly, even if she's gone,

this entire season is because of Lala. I just want to point out, if she had never called those girls winter bodies, then I mean, we just wouldn't have a season. Yeah, everything stems from that. Everything stems from the winter bodies comments. Lala. Oh, Lala.

Lala. For the season you gave us Lala. So Tom Tom, Tom Tom is at a big house for Tom's model sheet. Yeah, I'm just getting back into it. He's like, you're talking to one of the biggest agencies that they want to make sure I still got it. So who opens the door? Joe Simpson. Joe Simpson. Can we agree he's like on meth, right? Like he makes Kim Richards look like a T-totler. Yeah, except he's like a fat meth head. I like that guy can juggle a lot of addictions. Like if you can be a

meth head and still get fat, I mean that is really work. So you know what? I tip my hat to you. Meth head fat person. Yeah. He Joe Simpson is something is a rye. Something is very, very awry with this man. Yeah. He looks like his hair is bleached. It's like a bleached blonde. And then it's like really hairs like Aquinette hairsprayed into kind of like a conservative Republican. I don't, I'm not really sure what's going on with Joe Simpson, but he's like, yeah, dude. I keep streaming this with his tongue. He's like, nope. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

dressing all young. And he's this guy who used to be a minister and now is like rumored to be a closeted gay man who seems to be on some sort of substance uh, oggling over Tom Sandevol and the entire thing just felt strange. He made a... What was that thing he said about like, Oh, keep your eyes up and you're dick out. Yeah, nice dick, bro.

Yeah, his like girls have tits and you know, guys don't have tits. So I want your stomach in and you know guys don't have tits. So I want your you're stomach in and you're dick out. I was like, oh god, classy. Yeah, classy Joe. But also he's it's like his bedroom or something. He's some crappy room with mini blinds.

And like this, what is going on in here? He's probably pissed off that the cameras are with Tom because he was planning on getting a finger up inside that back I just don't understand why Joe Simpson is the photographer you turn to of all the photographers in this city and there are Thousands Joe Simpson is that what that's not gonna really I don't think Joe Simpson a portrait by Joe Simpson is Necessarily going to get you into Teen Vogue Yeah, I have a feeling that especially when he says things like, Hey, my man, welcome to my art space.

Oh my God. TKO Neil 28 says that Josephson's Instagram is like, L.O.L.Z. And that we should check it out. Oh, good. He's terrifying. Yeah. So speaking of terrifying, Rekel's face. Okay, Rikkel, James's

girlfriend, Rikkel, you know, it's not nice to make fun of someone's face, but this was not the face she was born with. So I feel like when you put additions onto your face, their open season. What is wrong with this girl's face? She's 20 years old. She looks crazy. Why is she doing all that to her face? She's telling, I- It looks like she was pretty before. I didn't really pick up a lot of facial adjustments to her. I mean, I was, but then again, I was also distracted because they likes it down and James is like, I have two eyes, well, I was pleased.

And I'm like, British accent always makes me distracted from anything that I could be possibly looking at. She reminds me of in the 80s, do you remember when they would have like a 3D event on on TV, and you would have to go to McDonald's and get those 3D glasses? She's not an EO of Vanderpump rules. Yes, and you had to like adjust your TV so the colors would look 3D through your glasses or whatever. It's like that base. It's like a slightly fuzzy, you know, Godzilla. You don't understand really what's happening.

It's terrifying, but you don't know why. It looks fake, but it seems real enough to scare you at my. Does this mean that if we win Raquel over with the power of dance and music, she'll turn into Angelica Houston? You see that I could respect. Angelica Houston face, I could respect. If it turns out that James was secretly dating Angelica Houston, I would be very into that. I would be into it too. When he was

on Watcher Happens Live, he was with a comedian, like a newer comedian, a really big girl, like this really, really big, big comedian girl. And then they had tiny little James sitting next to her. And she was like, really, body, you know, she was like, here's what I think about James. Like she was just this big lady. And James was blushing the whole time. And you know, he didn't look terrified. He looked like, oh, too high swallows plays, mum.

Like he looked very, very fashionable. So I think he might end up with a man of chocolate, he used to know. Maybe I would be sort of into it. And I'd be into it for Angelica Houston sake. I mean, she deserves a hot young British guy who has a residence at the Redberry Hotel. Yeah, and Coke.

Yeah, he must be into it. So, you know, it's James, what I like about James is that he's very current. He's very current with the trend of fake news and alt facts because he's pushing this agenda with Rikail saying, you know what simply happened is the alley jumped into my bed, took some pictures and then jumped out again. I mean, it's possible. I was drinking whiskey.

She could've done it that easily. I'm like, this is so far fetched and the fact that Raquel actually believes it. It explains so many things that are happening in this world right now. Yeah, it really does. And I like that he starts it off with, you know, babe, I'm just too trusting. It's a problem. Just too trusting. I'm too good of a person, babe. I like that it's like really hard. I, not how am I better of doubt like you feel to me. And then he goes, if Raquel left me, it would be first my dad, then Lisa, then my girlfriend, I'm like, oh, what a heap of victim. I know.

A heap of victim. Jesus, James. And I don't know what I would do if she took my little Chinese shade, then I'd be sleeping all out in the open. It'd be what you took my hoverboard. And I had to walk. I'd be walking and crying at the same time. It'd be the saddest things that ever happened to a human.

Well, if she took my one of my wiggies, then I'd just be wiggy, not wiggy, wiggy. Devastating. Like man, I'm in the sun. No, I'm like, can you be made? Will you be my lime in some of my. He's like, well, I can't do that. I can be faithful if I want to. She's like, I love Samoas. I would never betray a Samoas. She's like, no, Sonoma. I can't promise you anything there, darling. But if you see a girl scout send her my way, won't you? Thanks a lot.

OK, no, that's my favorite type of girl scout. It's called the thanks a lot. So Brittany and Jack's go to church. Yeah, they I was surprised the church did not like spontaneously burst into flames the moment jacks walked in It did didn't she see the guy sitting behind jacks. Oh, that's true. I was waiting for Max Anderson with like Joe He's like Louie Anderson with Joe Simpson bleach Yeah, but it was longer and parted down the middle and he sat right behind Jacks and just stared at Jacks' head like, wow, it's Jacks.

I was waiting for Max Lansido to come in and start exercising some shit. I'm surprised that Breason threw himself out the window. The power of Christ confells you. There's something about poor people who got a church, poor girl specifically who got a church. You just have to, they have to own at least one dress that looks like Britons. It's terrible. It just looks like a disease under a microscope, you know. You can see it like moving, you can see all those little dots moving around, infecting each other and just getting bigger and

bigger and taking over cities, you know. I just want to point out, I just realized this is my second day in a row of making an extra system joke. We're wanting to talk about Bravo. Something that Bravo brings out the extra system. But you know, it's also in the human conscious right now because it's all over the news. There's a lot of stories lately about extra systems. Really?

Yeah, I mean, I see them a lot. Then I'm like, why is this in the news? It's just really weird. So maybe it's just seeping into you. Maybe, maybe tomorrow I'll make an Ellen Berson joke. Wasn't she in there? That's her very intense Thanksgiving impersonation. So Jackson is like, wow, they have TVs in church. Whoa, I could do this. I'm like, they don't play gay porn, Jackson. Okay. Keep good dick in your pants.

So basically you talked about his church experience and he didn't know what Frankincense was. So we would never get lines in the play. Yeah. And he's like, I really like this church, you know, maybe I could be the director one day. I feel like the church was run by a character from Beetlejuice. It was just something that was just very wacky about the whole thing. Like big, odd shaped suits with bold colors. And it was just, there's a lot's taken. That's almost an standard church. This was like Hollywood church.

Yeah. But it was like church, I just got off hair or went a couple of weeks ago. I know it was. It felt a little, it felt a little bit like one of those churches, although they did have rainbow flags out front, which I appreciated. I don't know if Jackson, I don't know if Bernie's mom would have appreciated that, but you know, I know you see you go to the gate church.

Good job. The broken gate church too, but they're all broken gays are on there. This church don't put out cookies because people come in off the street and just take all the cookies. Did churches party? Oh yeah. Well, yeah, what do you think? Most of us keep going, boo. Damn. Well, you know, I said a church for a cookie. My synagogue on Saturdays, you know, after services were over because it'd be like three long, they'd put out a spread, it'd be like bagels and cream cheese and M&Ms, and it was like the best. We had big...

Just explained why you just described what I have in, basically. No, yeah, it's also cream cheese and M&Ms. That's all I want, my. That was the best, because when you're a kid and you have to sit through three hours of synagogue, and you know, it's just, it's a lot.

But then all of a sudden, you get towards the end and you're so hungry, and they're fresh bagels with cream cheese And then all those M&Ms and there was other stuff I don't even remember what the other stuff was because I would just get bagels and cream cheese and M&Ms every I believe Jewish people have to go to church for three hours. That's ridiculous How do you guys keep like how are you guys still like all Jewish like I don't know any Jewish people who are like not Jewish anymore And I know so many Christian people who are like

Don't do that anymore. Well the Jews like stay there. Well, I was raised in a conservative Jewish temple so there's like busy three main sacks of Judaism reformed conservative in orthodox so Reform is where it's like mostly all in English and they have some sort of band that plays in a guitar And it's like very light and frilly and it's short and then orthodox is once like hardcore and everyone is a kosher and it's And it's just like you do all the prayers and you do them all and you're like multiple times a week And then Hasidic is sort of like an offshoot. I don't know if it's an offshoot, but Hasidic is at that level because Hasidic and Orthodox are two different things. But like Orthodox people are like the people who wear a Yamaha, no matter what. But conservative is like in

the middle, conservative is like a lot of Hebrew in this in the services, even though I didn't really know what I was saying. I'm just you know, you just sort of hear these words and you just sort of say them. Um, but yeah, the services would go on for like, you get there at like, at like nine or nine thirty and then you're not done until like twelve or twelve. Wow, that's a lot. Christians really work at keeping people in the church. They're like, okay, gay people, you're welcome now. Hey, we got a band.

We've got huge TVs. Just come back to church in the last ten minutes. Come back. Well, there are definitely synagogues that are like that, but with conservative synagogues, And we've got huge TVs. Just come back to church. We've got us 10 minutes. Come back. Well, there are definitely synagogues that are like that. But with conservative synagogues, at least in my experience, are not like that too much. They're more just about like, three hours, three,

like you're going to show up. You're going to pray. The Torah is going to come out. You're going to want you to get to have a bar mitzvah. And then you're going to pray some more. I think you need to be able. Well, I think we can all agree that Christian or Jewish, the best church is Jackson's,

because it lasts five minutes. You know they got wine coolers on their way out, and he's gonna get a blowjob after this, but he's like, thank you, thank you. He gave you a blowjob for the S.J.A.A.X. He did so good in share time, so proud of you. So in Lake Arrowhead. Lake Arrowhead. I'm gonna tell that I'm gonna sign off of Instagram

live by the way. So everyone on Instagram live, thanks for watching. I'm signing off. Lake Arrowhead was your limit, huh? Yeah, Lake Arrowhead was the end. That's actually like I need some alone time for this guys. Lake Arrowhead. Okay, they're gone. We can see where is Lake Arrowhead? It's sort of like near Big Bear. Like you go up the mountain, I think you go left instead of going right.

Oh, okay, something like that. So Stasi's at home and her mom and her mom's new boyfriend are there. And her mom's like, I was really looking forward to my hysterectomy because I knew you'd come. And it's like it would be fantasy what you cooked. It was like the first upbeat history, wrecking me story on Bravo. Finally, finally, a history wrecked me has a fun Ben. Finally, a history,

wrecked me story that involves cookie dough instead of sadness. So Stasi makes her toast and cookie dough, yeah. And my favorite person of the entire season of Vanderpump rules enters the screen and that's square like a little girl. It's Nikolai, the little brother. Yeah. He's my favorite. We should all be so lucky to have a Nikolai in our lines. Yes. Yes, we should. But for I see, you know, the good comes with the bat because Katie shows up too. So Katie's like, I'm really close to Stasi's mom. So I really wanted to check on her.

But also, I wanted to chance to talk about what a bitch Ariana is. Yeah. Made the drive. I know. Seriously, definition of lackey is driving two and a half hours or two hours out of L.A. up a mountain just so that you could be near Stasi. But to be fair, she probably called Stasi once Stasi. I'm thinking of making cookie dough. Will there be iceberg? It's like a

branch symbol, you know. The Foxy logo goes up in the sky and Katie shes up. So Katie asked Mikolai, she's like, so Nikolai, Stasi's really upset. Do you have any advice for her? And he's like, um, well, I've talked to her a million times. So she should already know by now. Love him. I know. And they have like a little tiny Ross Perot. Just like, listen guys, I'm a straight shooter.

Right. And he did win about 19% of the vote this year. Ross Perot. He's like, listen guys, I'm a straight shooter, right? I made it. And he did win about 19% of the vote this year. So that's pretty amazing. Stasi then just starts crying. I found her brother. It's like Stasi. Stasi gets real. Stasi is just like, I don't have the boyfriend.

I don't have the wife. And she just, she just, she just support me. And she's just fully crying. And he's the kids like, I guess I have the life. And she just, I just need you to support me. And she's just fully crying. And he's the kids like, I guess I'll pat you on the back before I go back to my ex-boyfriend. Actually, he's like, well, how do you think Patrick feels? Like, he's all alone right now in the world. He has no one helping him.

At least you have us, you know? I want to talk to him. I want to help him. You are so sweet. Yes, Dossie's like, I feel so bad because I gave Nikolai, you know, a father figure. And then I took it away. Nikolai is like, you guys just keep giving up. You gotta stop giving up. And she's like, I look Nikolai. Oh, I want his support. That's all I need right now is support. I mean, he likes her a little hug. He's like, life's tough, man,

especially in your 20s. Life is pain suck it up. That's a quote from Juno Davis in the seminal action movie The Last Goodbye. I mean, the long, long, long, cascanite. I mean, that's something that Juno Davis says because she is a housewife who turns out used to be an assassin for the CIA and she'd forgotten about it. And now it's been reawaken because she had a deer and she bleaches her hair blonde and then her daughter played by Mara, what's her face, falls over while she's ice skating and you know, David, let's give her some tough love. Oh, I remember that's when she married that creepy director guy member and Gina Davis is life-resistant. Ready for?

Yeah, ready. And then she came back and she did like some TV show about being the president or something. Yeah, it was like Madam Vice President or something like that. And they're like, hmm, let's make this into Madam Secretary of Tealotians, instead. Yeah, pretty much. So we do not need her ex-husband coming by and being an asshole like forget Gina Davis

Okay, they need to make like Madame Secretary, but with Nikolai Yeah, they do Nikolai secretary We like listen here pack us. Yeah, good secretary. How do you think how do you think I ran feels huh? There probably was like a 1992 movie about it like 1992 is when they always have like let's make a kid a baseball player Let's make a kid a president Let's make a kid the postmaster general. The postmaster general. I never understood Elvis Nams were getting rid of them. Science yield delivered starring Nikolai. Nikolai plays the dog that you had from the time you

were 10 to the time you were 30. What's that dog baby? A dog's purpose. I want to kill that movie. Okay the Nikolai's purpose. Nikolai's purpose. Stasi's like oh Nikolai was gone but now it's a new Nikolai but it looks different. Could you imagine you know the all there are all these billboards up in posters around town for dogs purpose and it's just these close up of a dog's face, these eyes and conmet�ers like Astaci's purpose is just in every bus shelter. It's a close up of Astaci's face with their eyes looking down at you. Astaci's purpose. Go cheeseballs.

Astaci did alert. Yeah. Astaci did tell us by the way, Astaci tweeted us to inform us that Go Cheese balls are still on the menu at surf. Yeah, what the hell? Why do I just get empanadas? Every time I go. I don't see Go Cheese balls.

I'm going to have to go investigate that. And I will soon. But damn. So, um, so, um, that's just James and Tom. That's easy. Tom have lunch. Tom is a very forgiving person because last time we saw them together Tom was sticking up for James and James was like, screw you man. Why would you be friends with those losers?

And then here comes Tom digging James out for tea and I love Tom ordering. He's like, um, I'm definitely going to get a London fog And James is like, I'm definitely gonna get a London fog too too. Wow. You know, that's a coat, right? So James starts with his whole victim routine. He's like, in Los Angeles, it's not easy being a sober DJ. Okay. With all those groupies and such. Spin off. Yeah.

The sober DJ. The sober DJ. Tom, actually, I think DJs are generally sober while they perform. Believe it or not, that's a lot of work being a real DJ. It's a lot of buttons to press and remixing and doing all that shit live. I don't think James necessarily does that. Yeah, but I don't think, let me tell you one thing. I don't think flume is drunk.

I don't think flume is drunk. I don't think fat boy Slim has an alcohol problem. I think Moby is famous as sober. Yes, exactly. I think... Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellas-I.

And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.

Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah. I think DJ Steve Aoki is drinking water. By the way, did you know that he had to show up and be the bartender on James's watch what happens live? I mean, that is so sad. He had to play background to DJ James Kennedy. And it's also sad that Steve Aoki is someone that were like, wow, that's so sad that Steve Aoki had to be reduced to that level.

Well, he's talented. And he had to be like behind DJ James. I know. It was funny though, because James got so nervous, he couldn't even do it in front of him. He's smiling. He's like, oh, my mother is a mummy and I love the mummy and Prius and Prius. You know, he's going to go tell him people, I open for Steve Aoki. Yeah. I'm a beachy too. Steve Aoki. Yeah, and a Vichy too. Steve Aoki opened for me. A beer at what happens last night. His guest bartender.

I knew Steve Aoki when he was just a bartender. So they bring up all these rumors about James and the ambush with James. And he's like, I find it flattering that Gigi wants to make it so clear That I've hooked up with her. I've never even slightly hooked up with her and Tom's like dude to be honest TVH Like seem like it happened like I don't mean to grill you He's like, well, that's what you're doing right now. Let me boom It's not my fault the Gigi's a big fan of mission impossible and lowered herself into my bedroom, avoided all the lasers, took a picture with me and then got her to sell it back out of my bedroom.

Not my fault, but she just had to do that. Well, I didn't actually see penetration. If you've got pictures of it, I would masturbate to it. Do you? Yes or no? He's like, no, I can't admit something that did not happen. All right, bro. Am I paying for this tea?

Yes, girl. It depends. Are you referring to the drink or are the truth that you're spilling? And why do they deliver us jackets? I specifically asked for tea, not a lovely coat, although I will take the coat. It's difficult being a sober DJ in LA, wearing a coat in the summertime. The hardest thing is that my favourite cocktail is called a Burlington Coat Factory. And every time I order one, I get a trench coat instead. So Gigi thinks she's a real slicker, doesn't she?

You know what, she's a regular old anorak. I wouldn't have sex with that all dust out right now. Thank you Lisa Rinnick Collection for giving me another reference. I'm pretty much out now. Let me tell you something. When it comes to C.P. with James Kennedy, Kennedy its members only So Tom is shooting his Tom is doing some Peter movie Peter Peter yeah, Peter's gone. Yeah, well Peter Peter is gone many years now on Vanderpump rules without doing anything too too embarrassing But I'm afraid that run is about to come to an end because I'm telling you he's like Samson from the Bible you cut that man's hair he immediately gains weight and starts thinking he's Steven Spielberg. Yeah he yeah Peter is an aspiring director and so he and his buddy are shooting a

sci-fi film called The Riven and it's gonna be an eight minute short film that they're gonna use to try to get some funding for the full feature length movie which is gonna be a few million dollars, it could be a sci-fi thing or whatever. And he described it as Star Wars Mutez Halo which is like you're promoting the Sun Bravo I think you're probably getting the wrong audience here. You should've been pushing some sort of like Jane Austin movie or something. But you know, on the one hand, I just wanted to roll my

eyes at it. But on the other hand, I'm like, the band of up rules really does capture the hustle that happens here in Hollywood. Because this shit is happening all around us at all times. I mean, we all know people who are making these little movies and they're like, yeah, just do this little movie and hopefully you'll get funding and it's gonna become a thing. And you're like, ooh.

But you know, I have to say, I actually had a couple of positive things to say about this scene. Which is, they had a really camera. What is that Tom in his contacts, who's wearing yellow contacts, like zombie contacts? Yeah. Adorable.

It kind of made his whole clay devolving work. I was like, oh, it's always been adorable. I will say that it's always been adorable. Yeah, it's adorable. But I just mean like his whole look like with his French braids and his highlights. I'm not in like a page. I mean look necessarily. And sci-fi page meaner. Yes, he's like Linda Dan, a fan of page meaner and his just like his cat eyes. Like it made it work I was like I would do you I see what Joe Brown season or Joe Simpson season Joe Brown Joe Brown Yeah, I see what Joe Simpson season you right now and the second thing is wow Special effects have come a really long way. Yeah, first of all Peter has been able to hide being that fat for this long

Second the when they showed the clip of Tom, just getting Peter your hot. But when they showed the clip of Tom, that's a lot of special effects. Just standing there. It was actually a lot you can do in your house, right? Yeah, I was surprised because they shot him in front of a green screen. This was guerrilla filmmaking here because they were shot in front of a green screen on the roof, you know, so that this way they wouldn't have to light it Essentially, they just use the sunshine and bananas. It was like literally gorilla filming

Really was and so I was like, oh god. This is gonna be more to find boy They showed the fight won't clip the special effects were actually really good I mean they're much better than Ileens movie that was in the Burbank film festival That's true now will Tom get to walk on a bath mat red carpet. I don't think so Too early to judge, but it was it was fun. It was adorable actually it was like it was both I was rolling my eyes. I was laughing at it, but at the same time. I was actually Enjoying that that spirit of like we're just some friends trying to make a movie together. And I love to mess up his rules.

Been like, I have a message for you, Commander. They're like, it's Captain. Oh, yeah, Captain. Okay. Yeah, let's do it again. You can get it. Messed for you, Commander. Oh, dude, Commander, like Captain, Commander, like what's the difference?

It's actually huge in the future. The London fog is rolling in commander. That's not even the dialogue. And this code. Also, the third thing that I was really positive about, I don't have that much in common with with Tom. I mean, from from looking at the show, but I do have this in common. I shape my whole face as well.

I've always done it because it's a very good exfoliator. I learned that from a drag queen a long time ago. Caroline Miso. But when I first got my big wrinkle on my forehead, I was like, Oh my God, but I've been shaving it. And I noticed that Tom's got that now. He's got like a big deep wrinkle on his forehead. And I know that he feels the same pain I do. Like you shave your like you shave your you shave your forehead and you still get a wrinkle what the fuck bro what the fuck I didn't know you love love to love to you babe so afterwards so Tom Tom has like a little bit of a discussion with Ariana because the thing is going back to the alt-facts situation

The thing is going back to the alt-facts situation, there's a problem wearing Katie, Kristine and Stasi think that Ariana is very competitive when the truth is that they're the ones who are very competitive. But Tom says, nevertheless, to Ariana, could you like not be so blunt with Katie? Because you know, it's Katie. And Ariana's like, oh and there we go it's like Yeah, so it's like well, I'm like kind of a truth teller. So Good top it's not my sketch comedy like true telling yeah, she's like I take sketch comedy very seriously And I'm seeing this game through bitch So I'm free stop being a little bitch

Okay, so I'm free. Stopping a little bitch. Freeze. Grocery store. It's like I'm shopping, but I'm still manic. I can't promise that I'll stop being blunt, but I will give her a yes and. Listen, you're a bitch. And you're a bitch too. You're also a bitch. Yes, and you're painting sucks. Yes, and I knew it was me in college and You're also a bitch. Yes, and you're painting sucks. Yes

And I knew it was lesbian college and you're also a bitch Great job, Ariana. Yeah, so over at Villa Rosa I'm gonna be in China It's like the pattern brigade has showed up. Oh my god. A lot of flowers and stuff. Yes, Panty looks like she was gonna be going to Brittany's church So hello, mother. We are here to steal things So they get a century and vodka and she's like I'm throwing a lovely day at the house you bought me for Katie It is my bridal shower gift

lovely day at the house you bought me for Katie. It is my bridal shower gift. Really party at pandies. That's gotta be fun. You know that's at 11 in the morning. Yeah, you could tell, I mean, not to jump ahead too far, but you could tell it was a rock and party because half the scene was listening to their forks and knives on their plates. I hope that you're pork apologize. So she's going to have a spa day at the house, basically, and Vanderpump is like, you know, she's a chip off the old block bandora. She's just like me. She loves throwing a party. Of course, she doesn't horrible patterns and awful hats.

I mean, it's like a regular Genovon oil at this point. I bought her a home in the terrible hat section of Beverly Hills. It's totally... Come to it. So she knows complaining about Katie, and she knows like... You know, like... She's on like a real power trip. I mean, like, when I was a bride, I was like a very calm bride. And then they just show her montage of Shina just being horrific.

Um, how could you do this to me? You're my wedding. One of them you're like, I thought about the start. I'm the one about the start. Rodins. Good. I'm gonna be jealous and the summer of my wedding. It's like my favorite seam align ever.

I love that. Yeah. So Shina's like, yeah, but like, it's like Katie, scene I'll I never I love that yeah, so she knows like yeah, but like it's like Katie That's Katie thought like the power of all about Katie is to extreme cuz like she can say whatever she wants and have no consequences Mean while Lisa is holding the jigger replacement this whole time. He's so fat. She can he's like being held under the armpits You know, she's just like bouncing him around he's trying to sleep like just put the dog down. You have an entire personality

away from that damn dog. Let him sleep. Yeah you're also you're not a restaurant you can put the dog on the floor and let him run around. Not that he would. And then of course yeah he would he would just fall asleep. And then Vanderpump of course course, is like, well, I'm surprised that Katie is picking on Sheena because she must be a lovely friend. It must be because they're hanging around Stasi Schroder. Everything is Stasi's fault. Everything, yeah. Well, I mean, usually is.

So, of course, we stopped immigration in this country because of people like Stasi Shroder, I've played him in it. No, Donald Trump never used to be like this, but ever since Stasi has gotten back in the field with Kristen and Katie, he's just been off the rails. You know, I ran shot and miss all the other dates because of stasis road out. You know, Betsy to Vass, you know, she's normally wonderful, but then stasis in the mix and next thing, you know, privatizing education. So the garage over in Culver City. Yeah, it's a groom's been meeting in Culver city.

What are these people doing in Culver city? Who was I was like already very offended. They are. Yeah, all the groomsmen were there and then their ordering drinks and Carter's like maybe some ficklebacks. I was like, oh my god. Carter speaks his first line of the season. It was weird. It's like Kenny spoke and then he died. Don't get that Carter. You've not forget that. Yeah. So Tom's like, yeah, so the bachelor thing, I was really hoping that like we could all just dress like chicks because like what guy hasn't looked in the mirror and like wondered if they'd make a hot chick. Probably a lot.

Probably a lot of guys. He's in Cardiff the only one who's like, uh, he's like, when is this season over? I'm sick of being on this show. He's like, isn't it sorry enough I have to sleep with Christen on National TV? I have to do this too. Jesus, I'm willing to pay 50% now. Okay guys, I've learned my lesson. Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't really understand this idea of like, let's dress and drag. And it also feels like a little bit of an outdated thing. Like, even if it were like three years ago, it would've been something, but I feel like nowadays there's this whole thing of like dressing and drag. Like, there's no inherent comedy in it anymore.

Not that I'm like, I'm not offended by it, but I just feel like the joke has kind of ended, right? Yeah, it's like, you guys, I'm sure you stuck your dicks in each other sober, or like dress like men when you're drunk. You can do it, dress like women too. Why not? Why not? Hey, let's do it. Let's do it, guys. And then Tom's like getting way too into it. He's like, so, um, I'm not saying we have to tuck our wieners between our butt cheeks. So, I'm not saying we have to talk our winters between her butt cheeks. But I'll probably do that. Yeah. But I did get us some tape.

Like, whoa. So Pandey's party. So Pandey's having this party and she's like, well, I wanted it to be just the four of you, but I guess it's going to be eight now. She's like, I'm surprised you're letting them into your house. It was, it turned into Crib's Pandy edition. And it's just like, all right, here's my TV area that has one chair in it. And here's the Piano Room, which is oversized. And here's the Flower Beds. And here's a pink room.

Yeah, Pandy is that kind of girl who eats, eats like chicken poppers in bed while she watches TV because no one uses that TV room that TV was like You stiff chairs like who's who watches TV like that? Yeah, that really but that actually really bothered me I think me to your professional TV watchers when I saw that I was like panty Yeah, do not have friends that come over and watch TV with you girl I've been saving up to buy a zero-graphity chair so I could watch TV upside down like If you like TV you need to find a way to be as comfortable as possible in front of that damn thing. Yeah, it was stuck in the corner that piano had way more space. I resented it. Yeah, so to Stasi. She's like, who has pianos? What is a piano?

This is this strange as bar I've ever seen. This is this strange as borrow I've ever seen Katie's like her house is goals. I'm like, yeah You're totally gonna get this house once you finish paying off your first house Which is your shitty wedding that nobody wants to go to on a Wednesday Can I put my house in tea towels? So she's got the massage people and all these other things which will get you in a moment But first let's go to the office. It's what I totally use all the time. All the time.

It's like, hello, ups. Yes, you have a delivery, darling. I'm so glad you have my personal office line. Glad you called. How about you leave it downstairs. I'll be there in a moment, yes, in front of the dildo shop. Thank you for calling me darling Does Vanderpub have a new store by the way?

That's all about like doggy toys or something. I've been seeing a lot of pictures of these hanky These well I've seen two pictures on Instagram One is it seems like there's something on third street. That's like a place where you can buy like pet toys or maybe clothing It seems like there's something on third street that's like a place where you can buy pet toys or maybe clothing. Or, and then I've seen pictures of people have been taking of a line of doggy merchandise. And there's something, there's like a hanky swan,

stuffed swan that you can buy, which I kind of want to get. Oh my God, hanky stuffed swan. Yeah, it bites you. Yeah, and past is quiet judgment. Yeah, it bites you. Yeah, and past is quiet judgment. So back it, uh, oh, so Jack's basically wants to borrow. He's like, can we borrow clothes? Because we're going to be drag queens. Like, do you have any old costume jewelry? And she's like, darling, do I look like I have old costume jewelry? Of course I do come up in an hour.

I'm like, I'm not sure if you do, but I think your dogs do at this point. And for, oh, no way you are because they've all got GPS trackers in case Rosio tries to get smart again. I thought it was actually a little insulting because, I mean, Jacks, how fat do you think Lisa Vanderpump is? I know. She's like, I would's like fired on the spot. You can try my house and then Pandey's party should be over seen.

You'll find something there. Doesn't Katie have a so wrong? Throw on some sort of sack. So back over at Pandey, as the girls are getting massages. They switch up. Some girls get massages and some girls get handbeels. Yeah. So I just love that Pandora is like worried about the exterior of her hands.

It's funny to me. So I look at that. I'm getting a layer of hand taken off. Better for the piano. My husband likes some smooth. So the massage girls are, I don't know how they're split up. Well, the handpill girls are Shina and Ariana and Stasi and I think Katie. Okay, so Shina is like, obviously like we're doing joint things and like, obviously, like, you

seem like you're obviously fine with sausage. So like, and sausage goes, um, what do you mean? Like, she's the one that doesn't like me. And Ariana laughs. And she goes, I'm laughing because it's funny. And it's funny because it's true. And ultimately they come to this very strange truth wherein Ariana basically tells Dossi that she'll try to have an open mind about her in the future and she just wants to have fun.

Yeah. Yeah, she's like, I will not apologize, but I'll have an open mind. Dossi's like, that's so nice. I like that you are treating me like the abortion debate. Yeah, Ariana's like, look, the truth is, like the other day at painting, I just wanted to have fun. She's like, oh, okay, well, great. Yes, this is going to last.

So at lunch, by the way, and at lunch, Pandora, so passive aggressive, she served up a big bowl of pasta. So cruel to do that today. Who cares about a waistline when you've got some new hands? Am I right girls? There's something for your winter bodies. Theme of theme of the season. So Katie's like, so thank you for this lunch. Did people, did certain people say I'm sorry to other people? Yeah, so awkward. And Ariane is like, I will be eating my pasta. I'm just going to ignore this bitch. And Stasi's like, I don't want her to say sorry because it's like so much pressure. Like, I mean, even if they are sorry, it's like so much pressure like I mean even if they are sorry It's like and it's genuine. It's like gonna come out that it's not genuine and she knows like we already talked

So yeah, we're talking about it. I said well, but this is something I don't want to force But before anyone eats another bite. I expect an apology because it would make myself feel better. Like, oh, good. There we go with myself. Yeah. Katie trying to find a way to turn the Stasi and Ariana thing into a Katie thing. And she's like, it's just that this is like a once in a lifetime thing for me. And like, I kind of feel like I deserve an apology.

Like shut up, Katie. Shut up, Katie. And then so now she's like, then not the type to say it's about me, but like it is about me. And Kristen's like, yeah, they just showed Kristen nodding like a crazy person. Like, okay, Kristen, we know where you're, where you're opinion lines. You don't have to nod like someone pulling too hard on your darren bent. Yeah. Yeah. Katie, I mean, I don't think she even knows what the fight is for a moment. She's just sort of trying to find her footing. And then finally, she's like, Oh, wait. Oh, yeah. So that was awkward how you were looping me into the bridal shower thing. And that's

like, I don't know. And now you're like, Dysent China. And I have friends with Ariana. And she's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's like, and then of course, you know, Shina starts telling Katie that she drinks too much. And that makes Katie mad. And she's like, I don't like, I don't want to look like an alcoholic or an insubordinate person. I'm like, insubordinate.

Like, what's your stupid plan? Singapore, you're mean. So you're mean. You're just mean. Like, you're only her mean to me when you have a drink. And she's like, well, I'm so sorry that I look like a drunk. I'm like, you are a drunk. And she's like, when she's drinking, she's aggro. And she's a rational.

And Katie just looks like you see what I have to do with everybody. Yeah, you see what I have to have to do with. And she goes, like, that is so unfair. It's like sp with. And she goes like, that is so unfair. It's like spickable. And she and the guys, a lot of people say it. She's like, well, a lot of people also say that you're fake. And she's like, ah, but you can't call her fake when she's being totally honest. Yeah, she's being totally true. It doesn't even make sense. I know. And she, at this point, she just breaks. She's like, anti- Anticone she's just like I'm sick of it and she just Throws down on napkin and she's right

Then Katie does that thing that's so annoying when she knows just almost like the Kenya more thing Where she Katie pokes and prize and is obnoxious and then when she finally flips out, she's like, come down. Yeah, it's because you see, oh, my wedding events are tainted by like assholes. Mm-hmm. Okay, just to remind everybody who the asshole is, here's a Katy quote from earlier in the scene. Um, I can't handle somebody that's got negativity between someone else surrounding something that's supposed to be an amazing time for me. She is the worst.

She is the worst. Now, did you notice, you know that Lisa Vanderpump decorated this whole house because the bathroom, first of all, she's not, she's gonna be good to go inside. Apparently, it's like, go to the pool bathroom, please. It's the same bathroom in the garden of pump. It's the exact same thing. It's lit the same way. It's painted the same way. This is like, just go do the same thing at Pandora's house, darling. So anyway, she's in there. She's like, So anyway, she's in there and she's like, MMM Katie was inherently crossed when she was served a bowl pasta. Are you kidding? That's like the nicest thing you could ever do for Katie. It's like the one time she can do it outside of a closet.

Yeah. Well, well, she gets happy, but then she starts to remember that she has a winter body, and then she starts to get angry. Well, I just want, you know, Tom's like a bird and I just want him always flying north. So Katie and Shina have a little private talk and basically they just start to cry and hug. But Shina coming back to the table was so good. She's like, I'm going to say like, fun.

I'm thankful. I apologize. I'm going to say like, fun. I'm thankful. I apologize. I'm going to leave. Kitty, because oh my god. Now you're leaving. It's like, well, do you want me to say? Yes. Yes, I do.

All right. Let's go. It was like a sixth grade party. I mean, I can't tell you many times I witnessed that happen when I was like in middle school or younger. So funny this episode. So the boys go over to Vanderpubs and try out clothes. It's sort of like nothing seen. It was like, well, these like, oh, let's have a scene lower whack in my closet again.

Yeah. And they're all, I think they say that they've like, I've never seen this closet. You guys were just in there like last season. You don't remember Lisa's topless photo that you were jerking off to? So Tom and Katie go on a date. Yeah, Tom. Oh wow. Yeah. Yeah. They go to dinner and Tom is telling that it's, I actually don't even know how they got into this fight they pretty much sat down and Katie's like well, you know what and Tom's like kitty gosh earth motions I was like wait what's happening?

He's wearing his wedding ring. He's wearing his engagement ring and she's like, oh my god I love your enthusiasm. You're not gonna take that off right and he's like well I will if there's a hot girl in the room Well, I will, if there's a hot girl in the room, she's like, Baba. So he starts poking at her. And then he's like, well, I just, you know, we talked about Ariana. And I think it's going to be okay. And everything's been settled with Ariana.

But I guess Katie won't accept that. And she's like, well, it's my fucking day and like stopped defending her. Like, this is what I didn't want. She cast a shadow on my day. A shadow with it or shadow. It was a shadow. She must really hate Groundhog's day. It was like February 2nd would be a special day for me.

And then like this Groundhog came out and saw a shadow and I'm like, great. It was supposed to be sunny and be a special day for me. And then like this groundhog came out and saw it's shadow. And I'm like, great. It was supposed to be sunny and now it's gonna be winter. Yeah. So she, he's like, come on. She said she would try. It's gonna be okay. It's like, you're in. If you want to be an asshole shed piece of poop,

then you'll just keep defending her. And he's like, but she said she's okay. And she's like, yeah, but everyone thinks that Tom is so adorable and sweet. But guess what? I'm not interested in Mr. adorable and sweet. I'm not interested in Mr. Goodby. She goes, I'm more interested in Mr. Goodby on say. My God, God.

And then she goes, for my, for six years, I've been my only support system besides Hidden Valley. I only support sister besides hidden valley. I don't think he's gonna see that. Those orthopedics shoes. And he's like, are you drunk? Yeah, that's my thing. Like I'm just trying to eat the sliders. Okay, I would have ordered a salad. At least just enjoy these sliders.

I love it because every time she starts going off, she always, she gets drunk and she goes off the rails. And then immediately someone says, you're drunk aren't you? And that gets her even more off the rails She gets she's so insecure about that. I love it. She's she probably is drunk. Yeah, and she's so mad about it She has I've been working myself to the phone for this wedding. I'm like show me one. Yeah One even your elbow would count

Yeah, if you've been working yourself to the bone you would have put a line in the RSDPs, okay? You would have chosen a better font. You would have had a Friday wedding at the very least. Yeah, winged things. She's like, I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid for this very reason. She's an elitist. She goes, she's a self-entitled elitist stuck up person and Tom goes, it's called being emotionally mature.

She's like, he's basically like girl up and then they showed this lady at the bar who's just watching the whole thing. She's not even being subtle. Her head is turned all the way around. She's like, but watching the whole thing, it was so funny. And then Katie runs off basically crying and at least they didn't drive like she had a she had a room uber Yeah, he's like okay. I'll just eat this hamburger then And because she definitely drank today You know she clearly has a problem, but I hope she doesn't fix it because it's too entertaining. Oh god She's unbearable enough as a drunk. Could you imagine her sober?

I can't. It was called last season. Oh, yeah. She was a horror show. Yeah. No, we like it. We like to killi Katie. I mean, she's awful, but we like to killi Katie more than sober Katie. So, yeah. You can go stick with it.

Most people aren't drunk. Most people are drunks because they're just easier that way. Life is easier for them and our life is easier as well. So, yeah, keep it up. Keep it up, Katie. Yeah, I want to support you. Should I try to find these, the things that you wrote on Sex Unique Podcasts page? It's only like four things. Okay, I found it. So first, on one post she goes, desperate much, I'll clog your drains with my cum rags.

But she put cum rags in quotes because I think it was a, I don't know. And then another one she just goes, you're sad. And then another one she goes, you're lucky to have been there, LOL, because I guess the sex unique podcast lady was at the roast from like two weeks ago. And then there's a, and then there's a picture of where she goes. Kitty goes, starting a go fund me to take this garbage down. Get a life lower. I thought we were cool. Guess not. V gross. Good. That's why you can't become friends with these people.

They get all like upset. Like I'm supposed to be an asshole. That's the point. Be careful, Stasi. Be careful. I'm sure. I am so scared of Stasi. I have to say.

I'm like, I have a lot of mixed emotions about the fact that she's following us because on the one hand, the fan in me is like, this is the best day of my life. The podcast in me is, this is the scariest day of my life. And the human in me is, I need a career. All three of me are like, I'm hungry and have better things to do than think about this. Well, maybe we'll all wind up at Sir one day and we'll just have a moment of with goat balls.

Go balls it up, got cheese balls of that Well, that's it we did it all righty. We did it Not the fun episode of of Van a pump rules in watchful creepings so everyone thanks for thanks for listening to our little old show here You can find us on social media et cetera et, et cetera. Facebook, our new Instagram channel, which is super fun. And you know the deal. And, and, and tomorrow we're doing our listener spotlight again. And if that's something that you want to be involved in, if you want to be featured on the listener spotlight feature, then you go to patreon.com.

And you sign up at the listener spotlight tier and the way it works is that when it's your turn we'll ask you to send in a recording and then once everyone has sent in a recording we'll we'll have a new topic and we'll go through it again so we're getting involved. Do it with everyone. Thanks everyone. Bye! completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.