Watch What Crappens - #39: Crashing Into Shut Up Mountain

Episode Date: October 10, 2012

Crashing Into Shut Up Mountain See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everybody, it's Watch What Crap Ends, the podcast about all that crap that's on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and this week, joined

we're all back together. It's Matt Whitfield from Yahoo. Hi Matt. Holler, holler. And Ronnie Karam from TVGasm.com. Oh, hello, everybody! What an exciting time to be podcasting with all these reunions and stuff. But before we get

to that, let's just remind everyone that you can find us at Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens. I'm at B-Side Blog on Twitter. Matt's at LifeOnTheMList. Ronnie's at TVgasm. And this podcast is at What Crappens. So you should follow us on any and all forms of social media.

And leave us a comment on iTunes as well, because we love those. Yeah, thank you guys for leaving comments all over iTunes. Love it! And I must say, the Facebook has been blowing up in the past few weeks i'm loving all of these comments people are like really invested yeah totally invested and i love that the people who listen to this show are so effing funny because it's really fun to read the facebook page it's not a given that people on the internet who are commenters are going to be funny or smart

and actually like every one of our followers is funny and smart it's amazing i was going to be funny or smart. And actually, every one of our followers is funny and smart. It's amazing. I was going to say, I think that we probably have the smartest podcast followers and fans. You look at some of these other ones, and they're more like honey boo boo types. Yeah. If you look at YouTube, look at the comments on YouTube, any YouTube video,

and they're just vicious and awful. And we have vicious and hilarious comments. Yeah, we don't have the vicious and awful. all yeah youtube is a really sad place for humanity yeah i think when god floods the world next he's gonna point to youtube first yeah it's gonna rain on the youtube offices i hope so so what do you guys want to start with we've got well first off welcome home matthew thank you reunited and it feels so good. Yeah, it's been a long time. It's been weird without you.

Like someone said on the Facebook, it's been weird not having someone clutching their pearls. Don't worry. I am wearing two strands. Two strands tonight. Two strands with a brooch from Ramona Singer's collection attached to the front. Because what was that bitch wearing? Oh, my God. Ramona Singer's collection attached to the front because what was that bitch wearing?

Oh my god. It was like someone took a big blue couch from... Big blue couch from some low-rent store. That was totally blue Jennifer convertible leather. I don't even know if it was leather. I think it was pleather.

Oh, it's pleather. Pleather, for sure. Yeah. And borrowed. Which we now know that that shit was Borrowed. Oh, yeah. If we learned anything from this reunion, it was that no one pays for anything except Carol. Yeah. Ronnie, do you have any gossip for us? Well, the best in Shut Up, Jill Zarin news, Jill Zarin will be interviewed next week on Watch What Happens.

I'd like to point out that Watch What Crappens got her first. And by first, you mean like two or three months ago. Yeah. And now she's going to be on Andy's show. And, you know, a lot of people have been speculating like, oh, he's going to apologize and bring her back. But I doubt it. And the interviews she's the interview she's giving about the interview or it's so hilarious she's so delusional she's still

talking about how millions of social media fans want her back and she was just in paris and her and bobby were thinking of getting a 13 million dollar penthouse but that you could see the the eiffel tower from and um she's just so full of shit it's gonna be wonderful okay the best part of the entire like little preview clip though is when she point blank stares in andy's face and screams at him why did you fire me awkward you know that's really all she wants to know i you know the thing that i took away from our interview with her which to remind the listeners we did interview her three months ago. Look in our archives.

The big thing I took away was that she was really, like, she was dumped. And she was very proud and didn't want to act like she was, you know, like she was hurt by it. She's like, whatever, I'm over it. It was a good thing. But she is bitter. And that was actually probably a pretty happy moment for her to be able to finally confront him and yell that at him. What do you think Bravo's intentions are by bringing her on the show, just that they're going to get ratings? Or do you think that they're trying to finally shut her up?

What is the motive there? I don't know why Bravo does anything. I mean, every time a new preview comes on, I'm like, why does Bravo do that? That LOL work? Why? Yeah. Why? Anything that they do confuses me.

I think that they hurt one womanhood. Um, but Jill's there. And another thing that she said in the article I was reading, I think it's daily news or something. I posted it on the, the old Facebook. But another thing she says is that she's shopping around her own show.

I was like, shut up, bitch. We couldn't take you in a group setting. What makes you think we could watch you on? I don't want to see that. Well, who do you think is really going to pick up a show starring her and Bobby? Like, that's just not going to happen. I mean, TV Land and Oxygen would even pass on that. Logo would pass.

Maybe HGTV if they work in the fabrics. Maybe. Yeah, what's it going to be, a fabric store? Oh, let me show you the Orientals. I know you're not supposed to say that anymore. There are worse shows on HGTV than a show about Jill Zarin hawking fabrics, I'll tell you that much. That's true, Candice Olsen, we hate you. I love Candice, how dare you.

Sweet-a, boo-doo-dee-da. That theme song is going to come myself. I love Candice Olsen, my six-foot-five big bird of a designer in Canada. Aren't they all from Canada on HGTV? Yeah, they kind of are because it's cheaper

there, just like Candice Olsen's designs. How dare you, sir? She makes her own mirror chandeliers um i have no idea what you guys talking about i'm a new convert to hgtv so i still don't i don't really know the canon very well but i i'm i'm getting there well her new show is called um divine design i think right that's an old one ron Oh, that's her old one. What's her new one called? Something with the word Candice in it, I'm sure. But she's no Property Brothers.

That's where it's at. Oh my god, that's like the same thing. That's like watching The Housewives. It's the same thing every single week. So, hey, the only other thing I read, Little Waffle Boy from TVgasm sent me a couple emails from stuff that was posted on this Famehorga's website, which has become really big.

And this website is pretty much written by Teresa's gay intern that writes all of her witty blogs. Who knows the meaning and the spelling of napalm, I take it? Yes. And this basically everything trashes Melissa. And the latest from them is that everything that, when they were ganging up on Teresa this week in the reunion, it was all lies and all that affair stuff that they were slinging at her. All that stuff was a lie and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So why don't we just move into Jersey?

What did you guys think of that wreck? Are you over it yet? I like it. I mean, it's a little bit of a blur to me, I have to admit. It's just like one hour of screaming and repeating the same things over and over again. But I can't remember it very well but i liked it i know that i liked it that's what i can remember there were a few things that really kind of threw me off and

you know ben you got me loving kathy but i have to say i kind of i don't know that i believe her whole story with the rosie coming out situation i feel like rosie was trying to make it seem like their relationship was much closer in the past when she was trying to come out as a lesbian and you know because she doesn't want Teresa attacking Kathy but at the end of the day I don't know that Kathy was down with Rosie being a les but is it can can

be is like are we going to um are we going to judge Kathy for how she acted you know 10 years ago whenever it was no probably not but I just kind of feel like it got swept under the rug. And I just kind of wish Kathy would come up and say, like, you know what? Yeah, I was not down with that because I probably didn't know anybody that was gay then. And now I'm fine with it. Like, just be honest and simple about it. But this is the Housewives. They would never do that.

Yeah. Yeah. There would be no show. Yeah. But the way that that question was answered was kind of suspicious. Because Rosie was like, well, you know, we were having problems, but it was because of the girlfriend, not that it was a girl. I was like, eh, I don't know. Yeah, well, that could be. I mean, you never know what sort of ladies Rosie might hang with. I can imagine like a biker gang or something of like indigo girligo girl types well those girls don't usually date other girls like themselves they usually date like teenage runaways or like people that they you know like really girly you know kind of maybe tomboyish but still wear a little makeup you know they're not like fully turned yet they like them

innocent like in jail i picture rosie as the girl in jail with the cigarettes. Oh, most definitely. You know? But yeah, that was pretty awkward. I'm really pissed off at Lauren Manzo. Not only for having the same fat face on a skinny body, which is uncomfortable to look at. Yeah. But because she calmed Rosie down. Bitch, what show do you think you're on?

Rosie was going to come out and there was going to be blood on my TV screen and you stopped it. I know. Rosie is like a rhino with a big horn and she was ready to, you know, gorge. I've been doing that all week in traffic. I'll put it on the throw! I swear

to God! Lawrence, I calmed down. I brought a lot of good stuff from Caface, so you can just enjoy that. I brought some egg salad. Why don't you have some egg salad? I brought some edible lipstick and some blush that you can drink. I was just going to say, I have a feeling that all of her products

are also secretly snacks. Yeah, exactly. That's why it's named after a cafe. This foundation, it's actually pudding. You can eat it, too. And the pudding, it's named after a cafe. This foundation, it's actually pudding. You can eat it too. And the pudding, it's actually egg salad. Wait for this egg facial to dry and then peel it off your face and eat it. We actually just put an omelet on your face and just enjoy it.

Low carb, low carb. You know it's all like the inside of Rolos. Yet another reason why cafes will be out of business in the next nine months. This is going to make me want to go there. Well, from what we've seen of the New Jersey ladies, taste and makeup isn't really their strong point. So I think that she could sell magic markers

and she'd still be okay. Isn't that like the only beauty place in town? Isn't that what they're saying? Well, I mean, they have plenty of strip malls. That's true. But I mean, now that Chateau, the Art of Beauty, is out of business, I mean, they have plenty of strip malls. That's true. But I mean, now that Chateau, the Art of Beauty is out of business. I mean, really, Cafface is the only gig in town. It's true.

Fatface. So something about these reunions that's really making me crazy. I know this is going to shock you guys. Andy Cohen. What the frick? How does that guy have a job? Why is he on there? He makes me crazy.

And why does he start them all out like this? Hi, Sonia. I like your dress. Hi, Luanne. I think he's trying to, like, soften the blow in advance before shit hits the fan. Well, at least say something. He's like a gay boogeyman,

you know? Yeah, like, let's just... Imagine him, like, creeping into your room late at night. Hi, little boy. Ew oh i think that he does like little boys though i do hear that he likes him young but not pedophile young no no i didn't i didn't mean pedophile young i mean yeah i mean like barely legal yeah like brian singer's type exactly did i just say that very young that's for sure those brian singer's type sure are little i went to that birthday party at his house, which, not birthday party, July 4th thing, just because I got invited by a friend, not because I'm secretly famous. But I got to go, that's where I met Greg, and all those little boys there,

it was like a child's birthday party where there were a lot of uncles. There were a lot of little boys running around in underwear and then they're lecherous uncles promising them college funds and stuff okay next time bring me with you oh i'll probably never they'll probably have my picture up next time and i won't be allowed back in there um speaking of all of these reunions and uh because we are in the middle obviously of jersey and new york what do you guys think about the whole like seating chart situation do you always think that andy puts the biggest stars closer to him and then he kind of works his way out with like the ones that he thinks are kind of fun and then the ones that like mean nothing are on the end i mean i just i feel like there's something to that i know i never thought about that but i

think you're actually right now that i think, like the bigger stars were always very close to him. Like Teresa and Ramona have like prime position when it's Atlanta. It's always like Kim on one side and Nene on the other. And then you kind of like work your way out. Like he obviously likes Carol, so she gets a better seat closer to him than, you know, Heather, who's even further out on New York. And I just feel like on Jersey. But Luann was often like no man's land last last night that is true um so i don't know i just kind of every time i watch that i'm kind of always wondering like do they have seating charts

or are they just told go sit on a couch pick your seat i kind of doubt that yeah i think they probably have seating charts but i don't know i wonder if they're based on prayer i never thought of it as a andy universe like where andy is the sun and the others revolve around him i always thought of it like really that's how I think about it. But it's probably true, though. I mean, I always thought of it like, who do we want on which couch? You know? But I never thought of it like, you know, Andy is like our

star and then we have like the moons. Or not that moons go around stars. Planets go around stars. Stop with your knowledge, alright? That's enough of that. No more strong... Well, the only pattern that I've really noticed and I've been thinking about it Stop with your knowledge, all right? That's enough of that. You could say it, but I wouldn't know. It's fine. Well, the only pattern that I've really noticed, and I've been thinking about it this whole segment,

is that he sits by the biggest C word every single time. This time he sat by Ramona, and Aviva was on his other side. In the Jersey reunion, he's sitting next to Teresa. In the, what was the reunions before this? Atlanta, I believe he was sitting next to Teresa in the what was the reunions before this Atlanta I believe he was sitting next to Nini so I think that he chooses the biggest a-hole because

he knows that he doesn't have shit to say and they always do so he can kind of look over at them the biggest a-hole is always going to deliver like probably the sassiest bitchiest line of the night so maybe that's why I don't really know though well also maybe because they're the the most likely to throw a fit and maybe storm off or do something crazy. And this way, he can be right there to calm them down or whisper something in their ear

to make them feel special. Or he secretly wants them to hit him or throw him over a chair because that makes ratings go through the roof. Yeah. So let's talk about some specifics in the Jersey reunion. Okay. yeah so let's talk about some specifics in the jersey reunion probably um my favorite part personally was melissa gorga coming unhinged and showing the true biatch the lying bitch she is that woman i am so sure that she's selling her home so her kids don't have to go to school

with theresa's kids that is the biggest crock of shit. And Teresa is a monster and a horrible human being and scares children in their dreams and chases them and murders them in their sleep. Well, this is a fucking liar. She's obviously a liar at this point. You know what's a cheaper thing to do than uprooting your entire house and

buying another one in a different school district? Why don't you take your kids out of the school and put them in a private school instead? Or why don't you homeschool them? Oh, wait, because you're retarded and couldn't. Yeah, could you imagine? I don't know. I mean, based on the geniuses that this New Jersey school system seems to have turned out on the show, I would have to say that, I don't know, it doesn't speak much for the school.

Well, to be honest, like this entire, this most recent episode of Jersey, everybody was lying the entire time. Melissa was lying about moving because clearly they're getting foreclosed on. Jacqueline was lying because her husband clearly has cheated on her in the past. And, you know, Kathy was lying, I think, about the whole Rosie situation. It's like everyone is lying. Teresa's just dumb, but I don't know that she lies. Oh, my God. she lies all the time, but

I guess we're just so used to Teresa being an idiot that it's not as offensive. Melissa actually kind of had me fooled for a while. I thought she was kind of nice. I think because she said baby Jesus a lot, and I fall for code words. I'm like, oh, she's a nice Christian.

So maybe she hates me for being gay, but otherwise maybe she gives to poor people on the street. I don't know. I thought she was fine. But now I think she's horrible. And Kathy, the same. I feel like she's horrible. We're getting to see a little more of her horror story in her.

So I don't know. I kind of liked it. But my favorite line was Melissa's, I'm the victim. I'm the victim. It's like a horse. She pulled an Aviva Drescher she sure did

you know I have to say if you had to deal with Teresa as your sister-in-law I would say I was the victim too for crying out loud Doman's a monster well and the other thing is it's like Teresa nothing can penetrate that brain of hers it's like you could say anything you wanted like Caroline can squeeze her

arm and say look into my eyes and I'm trying to be honest with you. And it doesn't matter. Teresa has a wall up that is never coming down. I love it. I think it's so fucking funny. Okay, let me ask you this. When they confront her, they'll confront her with truth, and she goes, what? What?

I never said none of that. All these things you're saying, I never said any of that. What are you talking about, Jacqueline? Jacqueline. Everyone says it. Who? The people on Twitter. I don't hold any grudges.

I don't hold any grudges. I mean, you're the one who did that. You're the one who copied my look. That's not what I did. Well, look at it from her side. You know, I'm sure I've said this before because I've been thinking it forever. But think of it from her side you know i'm sure i've said this before because i've been thinking it forever but think of it from her side she's on this show this bitch stripper who married her midget brother that was

the first love of her life um she stole her sex toy brother away from her and so they already hate each other they don't speak there's a lot of tension in the family and then the producers get winded at from fucking danielle who's now a hero i love how this show works and the producers get wind of that from fucking Danielle, who's now a hero. I love how this show works. And the producers go right up to the people that they know now hate Teresa and bring them on the show. And Melissa knows why she's there. She's there to bring down Teresa. It's true. I mean, why else would they bring her on the show?

That's one of my notes here. Do you really think that Melissa joined the show just to attack theresa and make theresa no i think melissa joined the show because she's a fame obsessed core and she can't make it as a bald woman in the music industry and this was her chance to actually do what all the housewives do come on and sell their lame crap to okay well then what was kathy's motivation there was just like an extra bonus to have more why why should theresa be the cook she's you know theresa stole all her mother's recipes and she should be the one with the dessert empire with bendy okay so they come on the way you say that makes it sound like they truly are joining theresa's

show which is one of those issues that came up on this past episode yes theresa is the star of this show but this kind of also used to be like the Teresa and Caroline show. Does this mean that Caroline and Jacqueline are just, you know, replaceable and totally don't even meet anymore? No, everyone's replaceable. Well, yeah, Jill Z proved that. But I think that Caroline did bring her people on. She brought all of her sons on. And her, you know, we had to listen to the fat ass storyline all season.

And we had to listen to the son's stupid business and her pasta sauce and her husband you know, we had to listen to the fat-ass storyline all season, and we had to listen to the son's stupid business and her pasta sauce and her husband's business. Let me tell you something. This wasn't... Teresa was not the star of the show prior to these seasons. No, you're right. She was a cast member, and she was known for

flipping the table and everything, and she was definitely prominent, but it was actually really more Caroline shows. It was really a Manzo- show and um with some danielle stobb even yeah with a dash of danielle but um a heavy dash but the thing is that um this was not teresa's show i can understand why she'd be annoyed if all of a sudden she finds out her her family's on i can i actually can understand that but realistically she's gotta like let go of that now and uh she has to get over it's it's not her show quite frankly and i actually think i did read something a day or two ago saying that the next season they're trying to bring on some theresa allies so it's not like everyone against her there is no such thing there is no such thing

kim d yeah but kim d like she's not going to be able to stay sober long enough to film listen there there are there are definitely theresa allies out there because do you know how many yeah but kim d like she's not going to be able to stay sober long enough to film listen there there are there are definitely interesa allies out there because do you know how many stupid bitches out there want to be on tv also of course they're gonna take you know team teresa if it means they get on the show yeah well they're gonna have to do something because yeah okay well let's talk about that where can this show possibly go because i'm watching these reunions and i'm thinking oh my god this is fantastic tv but two seasons ago we started out with that fight at the christening and then this season just kind of went off the hinges as well so at this point where where does this cast go like

i feel caroline is like done but i feel like andy still wants to keep her in the mix somehow but i don't know because she's not going to film with theresa i have no idea i can't wait to see what they pull out though because they obviously someone's getting fired i mean they can't keep it the way that they do and i can't see him firing theresa no because she's a villain but she's such an entertaining monkey but there's and there's like a lot of stuff going on around trees they could get rid of caroline or jacqueline quite frankly um you know because we know we asked the same questions two years ago at the end of season And there's a lot of stuff going on around Teresa. They could get rid of Caroline or Jacqueline, quite frankly. We asked the same questions two years ago at the end of season two, when it was just everyone against Danielle,

and then Danielle was fired, and it was like, where could this go from here? There's nothing else this show has except Danielle. I think you're right, and I think that that's going to be a good call. I think that it's going to be Caroline and Jacqueline who are out. I kind of am leaning that way, way too because you still have the family members to play off of Teresa and if she just gets some more allies then it can

be like a war. The family war is where the real drama is. None of the other franchises have the family war. I'll bet you money that they put on Melissa's sisters and give Teresaa a friend well you know i think the rumor is that kathy got axed already oh really she's kind of like the i'm

you know i'm not gonna you know because i know ben loves kathy and i've started to like her too but she kind of was a little cindy bar shop yeah she's yeah i mean like i love kathy but if she got fired i would i would regrettably understand it. Well, look, she got her free nose job. That's true. Do you think that there's any chance of Teresa just getting her own kind of crazy spinoff and leaving Housewives? Or does Teresa need to be there? Isn't that one of the things? Aren't they filming something with her?

So I don't know. They're filming, but I don't know that it's going to end up actually airing. The way, obviously, Kim Zolciak's worked out and she's getting multiple seasons of her spinoff. But if Teresa's doesn't fly, I mean, does she need to be part of Jersey? Or I guess my main question is, could they swipe the slate clean and just recast Jersey from the bottom up and give Teresa her own spinoff and just get five or six new women? Could they do that? No, I think you need Teresa in there because it's more than...

With Danielle, she was just like this unhinged lunatic. Teresa is like a deluded, crazy monster bitch, but she's also in the thick of a very complicated family situation that I think at the end of the day, we actually all kind of want to see resolved. Like, we're just sort of waiting for her to, like, open her eyes and open her ears, you know? And so it's sort of like she's awful

but you just want to like go at it another time and be like like just you people figure it out like just listen to each other for once i mean putting all of like the her brother and the melissa stuff aside which i do think that in a weird fucked up way she kind of does want to resolve that the main problem at the end of the day for her is i want to see on this show i want to see over the course of the next season her fighting with joe judice her husband and dumping his ass and getting a divorce that would make me root for her again because that is the problem in her life more than anything else yeah can we talk about joe on the reunion yeah we got to talk i mean andy went right at him with some hard-hitting questions i mean

everybody was you know wanting to ask those questions so it's not like andy's a genius but um what did you guys think of those i mean those straight up lies that he was delivering it was he is such a bad liar because when he said who is that you're speaking to on the phone he looks over like caroline he's like uh albie it's like really like it was like clearly the first name that popped into his head it was by looking at Caroline and thinking about her son or something. He couldn't even come up with Gianfranco or something. He's like, Albie and Christopher, my friends. Albie, who I work with. No big deal.

Yeah. I just love everybody's silence. How do you even argue with that? People just were... Their jaws were on the floor. This show, honestly, has just gotten so disgusting at this point. Like there's, they're all so depraved that there's really nowhere else to go. It's like more disgusting, you know? I mean, it's fairly obvious that he's probably been cheating on Teresa since before they even got married. And these lies just like solidify it in the public arena.

They solidify it to her face. But why is she with this dude she is not a looker but she is way hotter than that fat turd you're right and you know one thing that really bothers me and i hate this just in general this is my this is my commentary about society which is that um you know when you talk about the c word and he's like yeah it cost me a lot of money because you have to buy her all this jewelry and then she's like smiling i'm like i just don't think that's like i hate that i hate that idea you do something awful and you buy and that you buy all this jewelry like kobe bryant did with his now ex-wife and like that makes it better i i feel like that's wrong i feel like you should get to the heart of

it and i don't know what's wrong and it's also box it's what they're teaching those those poor girls i mean the material things fix everything yeah I mean, Teresa's done that with her daughter since day one. I mean, they see their father treat their mother that way and then buy her gifts to make her happy again. Even though we know on the inside all of these people are miserable. And that's why we watch these shows, because they all seem to have better, richer lives than us. But we know that they are suffering. Yeah, people only really enjoy it when they're suffering. And I think that the Housewives franchise has pretty much kicked feminism in the vagina since it started.

So I think it's pretty fitting. You know, like the most sexist things are always what wins. It's like your husband is a criminal. He's obviously cheating on you. But you got some jewelry. And also, you know that that money came out of her account. He's claiming that he's making money and he pays the bills. Where does he make money from?

He can't even show up at a fucking pizza joint. He can't even drive a car to a job. He can't even properly extort the government with a fake license. That's what it says in criminal history. Yeah, that guy is not paying for anything. And if he is paying for things, way to make yourself look like a total mafioso. You can't drive. You can't run a pizza shop.

All we see you is feeding wolves in your backyard. So if you're getting any money, it's clearly from some shady, under-the-table, weird building for old people that you're doing with the mafioso. Well, what do you guys think is going to happen when they bring out all the other men next week? So I believe that Richie and Joe Gore gorga are gonna be in the mix and even um chris jacklin's husband so and kim d and kim d who is also kind of a man so bring all the men out and um what do you think's gonna happen there because i already feel like this entire season's kind of been four on one against theresa now i feel it's kind of like all these four couples against theresa and joe and in a weird way i feel like it's making i mean theresa already has her fans but i feel like this gang up mentality and you know caroline can pretend she's

not a bully but she is it just makes me feel like it fuels theresa's like fan base and i feel like it's bringing more fans to back her up which which is fucked up. That's what it always does. When you go on a reality show and you hate somebody, do not be mean to them. You will make them a hero. It happens on every show. Do you remember on Top Chef years ago, I think it was season two, right, when

Marcel won, that little Wolverine-haired, jack-toothed little midget. So hot. Pasty-ass. So hot. Watch your dirty mouth. Arrogant, wig-a-twink, that guy. Super hot. That guy was the villain of the whole season,

and then the cast jumped him and shaved his head. And he became the hero. Everybody switched to Marcel's side at the last second, and Cliff still can't show his face in public. So don't shave Teresa's head. Just let her look like an idiot and you'll all look like saints. But they really fucked that up, man. I think Melissa looks like the biggest

lying stripper twat ever. I really don't think so. I think that Teresa is so deluded and such a monster. I've said this before, that Melissa is no angel, but to me, I just see someone who is just incredibly frustrated with having to deal with the sister-in-law from hell.

Well, you don't apply for a job at Walmart and then complain that there's a retard saying hi to you every day. Well, but you would apply that job at Walmart if it got you fame and fortune. Well, exactly, So stop complaining. But what if that fame and fortune was contingent on you complaining? Everything is. It's like making a deal with the devil, you know? You always make your deal

with the devil, and you become the best singer in the world, but you've got an inverted penis for the rest of your life, and you'll never get laid. There's always some weird deal that the devil makes with you. But don't you think that's all very cyclical? I mean, we've seen Nini be the hero of Atlanta and then she becomes the villain. I mean, every season or every season and a half

or every two years, we see this happen. I mean, everybody loved Jill, then everybody hates Jill, then everybody, you know, hates Jill again. Hates Jill again and will forever hate Jill. Okay, that's a bad example, but I'm just saying like, you know, isn't this all cyclical and now Teresa is going to rise to the top again yeah but it's also i don't

i don't think it's fate i think that people on these shows really start believing their own bullshit and they become evil horrible people that's why i'm always on horrible person watch on these shows because kathy comes on as the nicest person ever so for me it's just a short little wait to see her crumble and become horrible and Melissa all of them you know whoever's new on the show like the New York ladies you know everyone thought this is boring they got a bunch of nice ladies they're never gonna do anything and then look at look at the mess that Aviva turned out to be and you know the neurotic twit that Heather turned out to be. They just become so evil and wait until season two

because now they all think they're movie stars. Let me ask you again about Melissa. Do you think that we're the only ones that think Melissa is just a lying former stripper who clearly was out to attack Teresa? Because I feel like too many people are still team Melissa. And I understand what Ben is trying to say here.

Like, yes, if Teresa was my sister-in-law, I would go crazy too. But I just think that Melissa is the fakest motherfucker ever. I do too. And yes, of course, look, I think that a line that Chris says next week that we got to see in the preview is perfect when he says, we're talking about strepas like the Hitler, like they're serial killers you know and i think that that's true i don't think that there's look if i was hot i would be naked on the street right now collecting tips i wouldn't be doing some fucking podcast on my underwear okay like i think hot people should be selling their bodies that's what god gave them you know it's like if we decided one day just not to be sarcastic, like God gave us hateful personalities.

We have to use them. You know, it's true. It's like a muscle that you have to exercise. Exactly. And what else is Melissa going to do? I mean, what is she going to be like? Read audio books like she's an idiot. Let her strip.

I don't see the problem. She supported herself. I know. The funny thing is, it's like these people go on this show. I know the funny thing is it's like these people go on this show and clearly when you sign up for this you have to be willing to let every single dirty detail of your entire life and your family's lives and your friends lives be exposed it's like if you were on a poll you were on a poll and we're watching reality TV it's okay the poll backstory we've seen it before it's not a problem yeah hello the most famous housewife nini yeah you know the arguably well i guess not the most successful because bethany had her 40 million dollar payday but by the way i tried a few new of her flavors sidebar delicious really yeah coconut flavored vodka who knew oh have you guys seen amy phillips do the her impersonation of bethany on youtube i secretly like it more than her ramona it's hilarious well her ramona voice is perfect but her face isn't perfect like she does the

bethany though was surprisingly amazing yeah um that was hilarious what am i barbara what am i barbara walters make you cry i can't believe i have a talk show. Who am I? What is this? Why are you talking? Why am I talking? So what else happened in jurors? I just think it was all about Giudice. It was about Giudice lying and saying that he was talking, that his friend Albie passed the phone off to a Mexican worker, and that's why he had to start speaking Spanish. That was such a strange – it was literally like a stream of consciousness. That was such a strange – it was literally like a stream of consciousness. He probably at that point, after looking at Caroline, he probably looked off camera and saw probably a Mexican guy standing holding a camera. And he's like, yeah, I had to speak to a Mexican.

OK, but Ben, why would he not plan this in advance? You're going on the reunion. You know Andy's going to ask you those questions. Is he just too stupid to plan a good plan? No, I think he planned that. I mean this is america if shit goes wrong blame the mexicans health care is terrible because the mexicans made it so because they keep coming over here and getting it for free you know mexican food now we have rice in our burritos because the mexicans are trying to americanize everything

you know everything's the mexicans fault i think it was a good plan see the thing here's the problem with all your questions, because you're saying why don't these women realize what was in their past is going to come forward, why didn't he prepare this or that? The assumption that you're making is that these are logical people who have logical thoughts and

have a shred of intelligence about this. And since the beginning of this podcast, I've been asking that same goddamn question, and you've been giving me the same answer. And just prepare yourself because I'm not going to stop asking you. You should because it's honestly stultifying the things that these people say and do. It really is. But, you know, if you think about our own friends in real life, they're a bunch of fucking idiots too.

I think it's just part of humanity, you know? Was anybody in the Bible smart? Not really. I mean, not really. I think think it's just part of humanity, you know? Was anybody in the Bible smart? Not really. I mean, not really. I think that it's just part of humanity, you know? You just gotta kind of smile and make ringers out of shit. Like Ramona's. You hurt me very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very bad.

Very, very, very bad. Very, very, very bad. All right. Oh, my God. Jennifer Leather. Okay, before we talk about New York, do any of you guys have any, like, hopes for this final? I mean, look, they're stretching Jersey out. We have another episode of Reunion Part 3, and then we'll probably have lost footage after that. Are there any hopes for this next and hopefully final hour?

Yes, that a meteor comes and lands in all of them um i really do hope because it looks like there's a chance of this happening i really do hope that jackie is outed as a stripper and i hope that melissa is outed as a stripper and i hope that joe gorga finally drunkenly admits that he's been boning his sister since they were five. And I think that's pretty much it. But aren't we also hoping for, I mean, Kim, Kim's arrival on the scene? That's going to make for something delicious, right?

Yeah, maybe she'll tell us who the big boys are that she runs with. Oh my God. Everyone with the big boys! Don't stop me, everyone with the big boys! You don't know who I run with. Everyone with the big boys! Yeah, that's going to be pretty amazing.

And there were rumors that Danielle was going to be popping up, but it doesn't look like it. No. They would have teased that. One of our commenters here on Facebook also does make a good point. Our commenter, Lauren Gordon. She's also saying that Kathy is probably... Do you guys know for a fact is kathy out or have we not seen an official item it was okay so that was a blind item right that i thought that i read but i do think and lauren mentions this on facebook that kathy is probably

going to start just like screaming random shit to try and make her again i love talking about how these people are going to fight for their jobs is kathy just going to go off her rocker and just start screaming random shit to see to try and make that you know that she's still in the mix so that she can be uh an opponent for she already is she already is doing that you know you don't think that she doesn't she doesn't need to do anything else you think that she is secured for another season ronnie no no no i'm saying i think that she's already trying to be cutthroat in the reunion to try and save her job but it's i think it's just not working right her being cutthroat would be like all right you want a second cannoli well you can't have one she smiles at the camera that was mean

right you are gonna have that cannoli after you're finished with your dinner okay you're right you're only getting three kisses from mommy tonight you fucking dyke so um yeah i the show honestly you know i've said i've said this a million times but sometimes these shows just hurt my feelings and this was kind of one of those episodes where i was like oh my god i just felt i just i hugged my poor dog my dog thinks my dog thinks i'm a molester like i just hugged him i was like just give me some love tell me it's gonna be okay that there's a plan and we're not just floating around in this horrible world waiting to burn alive from nuclear holocaust that wasn't dramatic at all well i'm on four hours a week of this shit it's turning me into a crazy person all right so let's move on to new york

academy is a new scripted podcast that follows ava richards played by hbo's industries my harold a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat or be eaten world ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of.

But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that.

Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th. Or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th.

Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. All right. I just watched this one. It was the best thing ever. By the way, I... Go ahead, go ahead. Sorry. I was going to say, I love the contrast between these two reunions because, I mean, they were both ridiculously batty. But whereas one was a group of people fighting over a turbulent family situation,

the other was, like, a bunch of catty women fighting about dresses and who could borrow one and who couldn't. Yes. And they both were equally as entertaining to me. And they're neuroses in New York. I mean, that is, like, the most neurotic city in the world, and it shows in these reunions. They can't just say, you know, you upset me.

It's like, you know, you upset me. And then you apologized. But then you didn't mean it. And then I could see in your face. And then I heard behind the back. And it really hurt me. And you know I have a fear of this. And you know that someone was mean to me when I was young. And it's just like when my father was yelling at me you were yelling at me it's like oh

my god i i have to say the highlight for me was um when luann you know luann was very her feathers were very ruffled by carol and when she was about this whole about rajna and the dresses and should she have asked to borrow one or not yada yada yada and lohan was like look i was in life and style magazine i was in life and style to see her it's almost like her saying like look i could be wearing that dress and rolling around in shit you know right like it's like it's just as good as saying that well and she shows up clearly with a purse full of life and style magazines to show to people, like, this is why you should give me a free dress. It's like, how tacky is she?

I've got a Val pack full of coupons here. You should see all the coupons I'm on the cover of. If you ever want me to wear one of your dresses on a coupon, please. They're shooting me for the penny saver. So if you would care to. Oh, my God. It's a great forum. She will be dripping in turquoise. I'm by the way i take it back it was not the life and style comment

the best is when luanne failed to realize that she was not actually on the same level as michelle obama oh that was hilarious oh so i'm not i'm not as good as michelle obama no one has ever spoken to me and by the way, she wears Banana Republic. No, J.Crew. J.Crew. It's like, are you offended that she said that you look like the type of person

who couldn't even be caught dead in J.Crew? What is your point? Luanne was so pissed that she's now voting Romney. Like, that's happening. How dare you suggest I'm not as good as Michelle Obama.

Okay, before we dive in, can we just talk about the ladies' fashions for a minute? Because shit is blowing up all over the interwebs and all over our Facebook page. Ramona's outfit, obviously a hot mess. Kind of rank them for me, guys. Who did you think was best dressed, worst dressed last night? And feel free to talk about accessories and don't leave out the fact that Luuanne was wearing a uh midnight blue negligee i actually love the way sonia looked to be honest i thought sonia looked great i thought i agree with

you she looked like she wrapped herself to put herself in a toaster she was like in tinfoil right it was a tinfoil look because she was like look i'm a roasted turkey exactly this is my ghiblitz i'm a baked potato i don't know i don't i don't really notice the fashion i'm a horrible horrible oh my god you're a horrible gay did anybody notice the fact that aviva's face was ghost white and her arms were tan she looked like a fucking corpse well and on top of that she was wearing like a dress that was like the same color as her skin so she just looked like a big pale stick yeah and her hair is the same color too and the only thing that you could tell was a different color were her eyes because she she had fake eyelashes on, and they were marked up with all this black makeup, and one is significantly larger than the other, and it was freaking me out.

And her eyes can't move anymore. She looks like a Matt Groening character to me, at least last night she did. Well, maybe all her nice dresses were located on the third floor, and that required an elevator to reach. Damn this. Well, what? She used this wand that fell down on the third floor and that required an elevator to reach damn this well what one that fell down on the first floor oh one of my other favorite uh luann things was that's not like any of the princesses i know and she goes uh yeah i know because you know so many princesses okay you guys clearly like on the show they seem to be okay and during the entire season obviously carol had the best um confessionals when she would go in and she would rip luann but like on camera they seem totally fine but clearly as this season has aired these women hate each other yeah as they always do that's why season one is always lame and season two is always good because they realize

that they're really horrible people okay well what did you think of this couch breakdown so we had the three ladies we had ramona sonia and luann the returning vets against the newbies aviva heather and carol and do you ronnie you mentioned this earlier do you think that these three newbies do they have another season in them are they stars are they you know formidable opponents for the vets or are they just one season wonders i think that they're back i think that they'll be asked back i think that if they're Are they formidable opponents for the Vets, or are they just one-season wonders? I think that they'll be asked back. I think that if they're not asked back, it's going to be Bravo admitting that they made a mistake, which they just don't do. I think they're going to bring Jill Zarin off, remind everybody that they were right and that she's a total insane C-word who doesn't deserve any of our time.

And they're going to stick by their guns and keep their cast. Ben, what's your take? Yeah, I think they'll keep them because the girls started off slowly in the beginning for sure but um they found their footing and they actually wound up being oddly enough the stars of the season at the end i agree i actually think that all six are going to come back completely intact i think bravo's willing to go there again the ratings were shitty at the beginning of the season but then obviously shit hit the fan the editors did a great job and now i think that off camera because the women truly do hate each other bravo is like oh we are in the perfect spot for another season oh yeah for sure

well especially because aviva turned into such a troll and heather heather finally got her voice and it's been fantastic once she sort of like hit of hit her stride and got over her nerves, as she explained, she became fantastic. Okay, is she not everyone's favorite? Because she is forever my fave. She really won me over. It took a while, but she won me over because she is really very self-assured. And when you step to her, she really suffers no fools. really very self-assured and when you step to her she really suffers no fools she just she comes back with um retorts that are so articulate and so articulate and fabulous was it when andy cohen

was saying to her well clearly ramona has a problem with your smile and heather goes look i could either act like a complete jackass and scream at her and look like a fucking lunatic moron or i could just smile and try to remain as classy as possible in a fucked up situation that was like ramona you should just go dig a hole and kill yourself and crawl into it oh yeah i mean heather's definitely earned a spot on the show i think all these women have really earned it just by ruffling ramona so much i mean aviva really has ramona ruffled and And what the hell is up with Sonia? How dare Sonia get on her soapbox about how she's worked so hard in her marriage and she

put money into her marriage? Wasn't she like a waitress at Caro's when she met her husband? I mean, give me a fucking break. Well, you know, Ronnie, those paintings don't commission themselves. I put money into my marriage, okay? You know nothing. Yeah, I do. I know that you were some waitress who married a rich old man for his money, and then were shocked when you got dumped by it, and then got sued because you spent it all, you dumb bitch.

Shut up, Sonya. Sonya needs to get in a car with Jill Zarin so they could crash into a shut-up mountain. I hate both those ladies right now crash into a shut up mountain should be our first designed t-shirt that we are all going to wear on our site what is a shut up mountain actually like is it like a does it say shut up when it gets crashed into or is it like a mountain built of shut up or is like a volcano that spews shut up or do you just tell the mountain to shut up no you drive really fast and your car is making a lot of noise, and you're screaming really loud, and then

you hit it, and it's just silence. Oh, I see. I kind of like that. So it's a mountain that shuts you up. Yeah. You get sucked into Shut Up Mountain. Yeah, it just sucks you in. I get the feeling that most mountains would actually do that if you crash into them. Well, yeah, probably. It's the beauty of mountains.

I guess crashing into a mountain would shut you up without it being a shut-up mountain. What about a shut-up conveyor belt? Oh my god. Okay, well thank you. That was a great transition because that's another bitch who needs to shut up. And I love that Aviva's going on well, this, I never talk about my

leg. This is the first time I'm talking about this is not the first time you're talking about your leg. You talked about your leg five times an episode i still can't go to a grocery store and buy a goddamn zucchini without thinking about your leg getting chopped off as my zucchini travels down the conveyor belt all right you've ruined my shopping experience i don't want to hear about it anymore it's like luann claiming that she said, I never referred to myself as the Countess this season. I was watching the show and I turned to my friend and I was like, but she did for the first four. Yeah, and she did it right now.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Aviva. I thought Aviva's strategy was all wrong, the way i think aviva needs to make some gay friends i think aviva needs to make friends with theresa's gay intern who writes her blogs because aviva came in go ahead no you'll say i think that aviva needs to make friends to shut up mountain she needs to make some kind of friends because i at this point like i really don't see her having many allies on this show and she is so fragile like she's like a delicate little glass bird i feel like she needs to have a buddy and i feel like carol and heather are bff now and they don't want

any part of you know shut up mountain crazy broken leg they don't want to be part of that no and it's it's you know ramona was right in that Aviva stuck by her guns. She continued to criticize them in her blogs, which is like the greatest sin. You know, like saying something bad on Twitter is like the greatest Housewives sin of all time. But she continues to badmouth them and tell the readers, well, ain't that something? Because, you know, these watchers ain't readers. It's a Housewives franchise. The viewers turned against her.

And she's right. but at the same time aviva has an argument too she can say you know i was overbearing i did get nasty but come on they were acting like white trash they know my husband's coming they're wasted without their clothes on yeah but it was but i mean aviva was truly in the wrong in that situation she went overboard and quite frankly i feel like she really got nailed last night on the reunion. I think as trashy and as awful as Ramona is, you know, Aviva was so out of control. I thought Ramona just called her out and was, like, Aviva really had nothing to say to it. And in fact, just to show, I mean, Aviva said, like, I send my deepest apologies.

And then when Ramona said this stuff, Aviva got all feisty again and started right back up again, which showed that the apology was not sincere in the first place. Well, it's kind of like when we talk about Teresa. Look, Ramona is a horrible fucking human being. If I was even in the same train as Ramona, I would probably take off my belt and hang her ass. Like she makes me fucking crazy. I don't know how anybody is supposed to put up with her and not go completely insane. So I think that that should just be Aviva. Aviva should just say, yes, you know what? I was a total bitch. But you guys, look at where I am.

I'm forced to be with Ramona. Okay? The producers made me go to lunch with her. And what do you expect? I bet that apology made her look real sorry, didn't it? Didn't it? real sorry didn't it didn't it at the end of the day like i i hated aviva for for first of all the way she speaks down to people like if she ever tried to do that to me i'd slap her in the mouth number one number two i don't like the way that she wanted everybody to kiss her husband's ass

because that just does not fly and they're not friends with your husband so he that's he's not even part of the equation but at the end of the day i do agree in her calling sonia and ramona white trash it has nothing to do with their ethnicity it has nothing to do with their you know financial status except for sonia because she is poor white trash however they did act like trashy hoes yeah they acted like white trash i mean i when did that term become so confusing i mean give me a break this is america we're built on white trash i know if honey boo boo is the star of tv right exactly they were trashy hoes but why was aviva so surprised i mean and get over it i mean like you know i'm sure between the three of us we know a lot of trashy people and we sit and we endure

them and then afterwards we talk shit about behind the back behind their backs you know and that's the way you do it you don't like yell at them i hear you i totally hear you and we also probably all enjoy going on vacation and acting like white trash hookers ourselves like it's fine but like what aviva does have a stick up her ass i do not understand why she seems to be such like this crazy prude and she also it makes her seem like she's 67 years old too not like she's 40 like i don't understand why yeah when she said that she was like 41 i almost fell off my chair please don't say that she's only 41 yeah please that can't that's not fair i mean i know that they didn't have fish oil back then but it just doesn't it makes me feel bad for her because i feel like you know with all the medical attention she's had over the course of her life, no one's told her to just drink water every day. I mean, come on.

Well, she's afraid of it. She's hydrophobic. She is. She definitely is. She clearly was, like, trying to, you know, smooth things over, probably try to get a few of her fans back last night. I don't really think that anybody was buying it because she just did lose her shit too hardcore during this past season do you think that this then ends up neutering her for the next season the way like jill was playing you know kissy assy like people come love me because i was such a bitch to bethany is aviva going to do that exact

same thing next season or is she just too fucking crazy that she's just going to keep going off the deep end i think she'll just stick to her guns like you know what these women are trash and i think they're trash i think she's very high on making um like being a model citizen for her children in a weird way like she's going to carry the flag of being a proper woman you know and i think that she's going to just i kind of love that idea i kind of love that like why doesn't she just be there and be like this bitchy um uptight school marm who just keeps calling people white trash and calling them out on all their dumbass antics? I mean, it'll make me hate her, but I also think that Ramona needs somebody to point the finger in her face. Well, I was going to say, I think that what's going to keep her consistent is that Ramona is never going to give her a moment of peace.

Ramona just doesn't do that. She's like a bedbug. You don't just ask it to go away, you know? It just eats you. Well, I was sort of like, I was pretty amused by sort of, you know, Ramona's one of her tricks up her sleeve was

to compare Aviva to her, like, abusive father. She's like, it reminded me of being in my house growing up! And I was just like, oh gosh. Oh my god, what did your dad you know what i'm not even gonna make it say anything about abuse but ramona if i was ramona's father she would probably have grown up with a sock in her mouth and that's abuse she would make me she probably crazy she probably did grow up with a sock in her mouth that's probably the abuse my father one time

he told me i was wrong about some abuse! Like, every... I don't believe... Shut up, Ramona. Well, um, what about um, uh, Aviva telling the story about her, like, getting ground up to bits? Well, here's what I was gonna... Did you guys know it was in a manure machine?

Sorry to interrupt. Yeah, I was like, why the hell was she playing on a manure machine? Well, it was trying to get rid of the shit in the barn she just no one no wonder why she hates white trash so much because it reminds her of herself correct i mean like you know who plays in cow shit white trash oh yeah she's like you you ladies are manure so here's the thing bravo's gonna keep airing these housewives shows back to back like this on the same schedule, where we're going to have all these reunions at the same time,

I think they need to spread them out. Because we're starting to see the same things used over and over, right in a row. I mean, Aviva, she's getting nailed to the wall. There's no way that she's going to get out of answering these questions. So she starts fake crying about her leg. Then on Jersey, you have Melissa being asked about going bankrupt. And she ain't going to get out of that one either because everyone knows that that's true. So she starts sobbing and saying that Teresa, she's afraid that her children are going to be abused.

It's like, that's just what it is. It's just like crying, you know? I'm going to start crying every time I want something and see if that shit works. I'm going to start just bringing out those fake tears for everything. If there's not sliced eggs at Whole Foods, if they dare put a hard-boiled egg on there that's not sliced, I'm going to start crying about my missing toe. You have a missing toe? If you go to Cafes, you'll never have a missing egg.

Yes, I will She'll keep bringing me a plate of eggs and then I'll get my makeup done and turn around and that shit will be gone She'll be like, I don't know, you ate them No I didn't, Lauren Do not eat those eggs, Lauren Do you think Lauren has a lot of egg farts? Ew

I think Lauren probably Vito probably suffocates every night getting egg fart under the blanket. It's all sulfur smelling. Yeah. She's taking a trip to Stinkup Mountain. Yeah, it's probably like Snickers, eggs,

what else does she eat on that diet? Well, she doesn't do the Dr. Perricone diet. No, she just cheats and gets her fat sucked out, and then she can eat whatever the fuck she wants. Well, I want to ask you guys, do you think that that's cheating? Because everyone's going on about how the slap band is so wrong.

I don't think it's wrong. You do? I mean, people can do whatever they want and can spend their money however they want. I have no problem with that, but at the end of the day, it's cheating. But you still can't eat. I mean, it's not like a magic pill where you just get to eat whatever you want, you lose weight. Then I could see it's cheating. But I mean, it's forced starvation, but it's still like, can't you just eat like a spoonful of food at a time?

Well, no, because then you start eating again, I think, and then you stretch out the stomach that they've shrunk. And then look, Carney Wilson has i think had it five times and she still is 900 pounds well yeah you can win any argument by bringing up carnie wilson's i mean that just that ends any argument yeah it really does carnie wilson is really dependable in that department okay so do you have any more of new york stuff or do you want to move on to mijami i will just say can I just say one thing that I'm super excited for? Because I'm just so Team Heather. I cannot wait for her to fight with Sonya in the next episode. And then Sonya actually, we saw this I think in Atlanta, somebody whips something out from behind the couch cushions.

And Sonya actually has the different advertisements for her brand and i just want heather to eviscerate her oh well it's not only the ads for her brand it's the viewers made for her yeah did you catch that part where she's like well the is it this is what the viewers made and these are you know what i wanted and heather isn't then heather just rubs her a new one i mean it's like it's like it was a free service that she received and she's complaining about it. Yeah, pretty much. But she's worked very hard in her marriage,

you guys, so let's give her credit for that. Okay, let's move on to Mijami. So this show, Miami, is fascinating to me. Always has been. I love it. Even though it was pretty lame and boring

and I don't think anything really happened, I just love it. I thought it was hilarious. I loved all the stuff with Corrent. Oh my god. Corrent is the worst. She really is the worst. I love the way Corrent doesn't know anything about anything. And she just wanted to take that picture

with the artist. And how upset that made Adriana. Oh my god. She got to the tweet first. She got to the tweet first. She beat me to the tweet. Don't beat me to the tweet. It's that petty bullshit that actually resonates so much with me. Because it's like, I can see

that happening in my normal life. You know, like, I can't see, like, having a fight the way they the way they fight like wait aviva fights or the way theresa fights but i can see something stupid like i run into a celebrity that i really like and then like a friend wants a picture of the celebrity too or i don't know i could see myself getting totally wrapped up in that stupid bullshit that is hilarious and meanwhile the artist just wants to be close to their boobs like he's four feet tall you know he's like yes i will hug you and take picture yeah he's an 80

year old troll who was probably sticking his finger up their butts yeah that was pretty that was pretty amazing and adriana i'm going to tweet it to all my art fans it was important moment for me because all true artists are worried about their fucking twitter accounts all day come on yeah and they all follow adriana demora or whatever her name is and true art is really posing naked for some perv in your swimming pool come on it wasn't even a good photo of her i'm sorry i made her like that it was like a bad glamour shots it was like a hippie it was very hippie yeah and that's a skinny bitch too yeah um i will take her though over karen i'm sorry karen was just so inappropriate and poor karen the girl does not realize that her soap opera boyfriend is clearly

cheating on her and she will do anything to like distract her from that i never talk about him when you break up because I hate him. I hate him. I hate him, Karen. I hate him so much. I just feel so bad for Karen. I mean, she's just trying to be nice. I mean, look at what that woman has done to her face to try and be accepted. She has a turtle nose.

I don't feel bad for Corrine because I think she's a fake bitch. I feel like she's probably so evil on the inside and she covers it up with a smile. She's going to explode one moment. I hope so, but I have nothing but respect for a dentist with a PR person.

They all have PR people out here. Yeah, that's true. That's true that's true I also liked so then later on Adriana was you know bitching about this

current situation to her friends and then Lisa was there and then Lisa says to us she's like you know I just

I'm so uncomfortable with people talking behind other people's backs and then she goes and tells the other girls who weren't there about what happened I'm like

you realize what you just did? You just spoke behind their backs. They don't understand. Again, now I'm going to turn the tables on you. Ben, they don't understand. You're right. I thought that with all those boobs that there might be some brain cells that were floating around in the silicone for some reason. Sorry, Charlie.

No, nothing was going on there. sorry charlie no nope nothing's going on there um i also this this weird um riff between matt marisol and the drag queen is a little uh it's the drag queen is getting way too much screen time say that shit for drag he's horrible he's horrible how are more drag queens not beat up that's what i want to know that guy is fucking terrible and he's doing drag queens a huge disservice yeah i think all drag queens need to stand up and fight against misrepresentation because that bitch can't even remember what she's fighting about he's mad that he got kept off some red carpet mary soul's like that wasn't leah's ball that was another thing and it was the client who made me keep you off and he's like oh well you kept me off and it was you it's like he doesn't even know

what he's fighting about right idiot is the leah and marisol rift is that because uh marisol let chris the into that uh event last season yes totally yeah that's that is what it is and for leah to say i mean leah's such a raging bitch and i love her that she just does it all in her chicken voice but you know she's she's really got some nerve well i don't want to blab what she did wrong at my event i mean i'm being quiet about it so if she wants me to blab it then i'll blab it it's like because she let christy in that's your that's your big drama give me a break leah love it though oh i just came to see the the man the model the supermodel you can see the painting oh it's sold did you buy it she kind of is the best shit happening on TV right now.

You know what I'll do to this gallery? I'll tear it down. I'll just tear this down. What a lovely art fair. They should tear it down. Just take it down. I want to buy this painting and just invoice me. I'm going to buy this painting and draw over it.

I'm just going to put something else over the painting. I'll put a picture of Frida over the painting. I'm going to put a picture of Frida over the painting. I'm going to take her to the club. I'm going to show Joanna the model in the club. I just got Frida a bathing suit. I'm going to draw Frida in her new bathing suit, not

doing anything. I'm just painting a vagina. I'm going to invoice Frida for the summery lessons. And I'm going to put the invoice on the painting. And I'm going to invoice for the swimming lessons. And I'm going to put the invoice on the painting. And I'm going to call it over. And then I'm going to give it to my husband's client

who happened to kill someone. Now they're going to love it. Hey, it's not drunk driving when you just have one drink. Okay, it got wasted after, but it's still not... Well, it's not drunk driving. He's a wonderful man

he's a he's very affluent he's a fluent set him up with frida i love i'm gonna send her and i'm gonna send rita an invoice i just wet my pants just like Frida does. I'm going to go out on a limb right now. I prefer this to even the Madison Hildebrand and to possibly even the Carol. I think this is up there with the Carol. Hey, I didn't say anything mean about anybody. What are you talking about? I buy all my own

clothes. I am on the show because I'm a journalist. I wanted Peter Jennings Ghost. I'm just on this show because of the zeitgeist. Oh my god. How great is that?

Oh my god. god anyway the drag queen horrible please pluck your eyebrows and stop stuffing with fucking toilet paper like really it's 2012 it's pretty cheap you know who else is awful is Joanna's sister Martha Martha really needs to just like

dial it down but you know when Ramona was saying take a Xanax, that has to go to Martha because she is too shrill and too annoying and too up her sister's ass. She needs to get away. I mean, aren't you convinced that she is sleeping with Roman? Because I am so convinced of that.

Well, I hope so. I hope so. I really do. I really hope that that gets ugly because she needs to do something. I mean,. I really do. I really hope that that gets ugly because she needs to do something. I mean, she's definitely putting herself out there and she's really trying to start drama and be

a part of things and it's just annoying. It's like, get a job. Do you do anything? I can't even talk about her. She just infuriates me. Do something. You know what catering is? Do it. Get your own fucking apartment. What are you talking about? Well, she wants me to live with her more than you want me to live with her. Do something. You know what catering is? Do it. Get your own fucking apartment. What are you talking about? Well, she wants me to live with her more than you want me to live with her. For free. Shut up.

Nobody wants you to live with them for free, Marta. Well, they're also adults. It's called you know what? You're not like little girls in high school anymore. You should not be living together. Like I said earlier, you're a beautiful girl.

Take off your clothes and earn some goddamn money and stop being a beggar. It's better to be a stripper than a beggar. She is way prettier than Joanna with her nasty-ass skin with all those marks all over it. I'm sorry, but I think Marta is way hotter, and I'm not even into that shit. Well, unless you're missing a leg and smell like pee and have flies buzzing around your head, don't beg. Like a Viva. Like a Viva, exactly. That's horrible. And wonderful. Yeah, someone tweeted

at us today that they just finished listening to all our podcasts and they feel like a horrible person, but they're not going to stop listening. Yay! That was such a wonderful that we should put that on a card so what else happened on miami you know i don't remember i think there was just more um there was more stuff with uh marisol and leah had were sort of standing around awkwardly and uh and anna had to put a lock on her closet because her daughters were getting

into them baby was getting into the closet and i think that was basically it um which is a dc storyline like wow lolly it's the return of lolly yeah did they think that we wouldn't remember that i mean goddamn we watched the shit out of dc we know this we've seen this let's rip off the worst one wait that was the name of the daughter right right, Lolly? Yeah, Lolly. She's the daughter of Mary. I believe that should be integrated. White people need to start getting their hair done with white people.

Be fair. Oh, DC. My pearls have officially been clutched. Don't you remember that from DC? Loved it. You know, there was actually a DC marathon on about a week ago. It was shocking. I may have watched the entire goddamn thing. I think someone wrote, I think it may have been

our old friend Cookster, I think it was him, it could have been someone else, said that all the wives have now separated from their husbands. I think except for Mary, maybe. No, Mary did. Mary did? Yeah, Mary separated from her husband. That came out a couple months ago. I don't think any of them are together actually stacy stacy and and her cute

husband they're done i hated stacy oh she's a boy i didn't believe him i didn't believe in straight marriage anyway bitch do you think uh you think linda and uh ebong are still still ebonging well she didn't she didn't she didn't want to get married to him she just wanted his bong she just wanted to get e-bonged yeah i don't know that's a disturbing thought actually if they're still together well i'm sure that as soon as the bravo cameras like stopped rolling and you know he rolled over in bed and saw her without you know a full face of makeup and hair at 6 a.m when the cameras were on he was like oh i am sleeping with you know the crypt yeah time to move on yeah there's only so much that positive energy cleansing can do exactly don't you guys miss it you totally miss it i did that was my first housewives that's the first time i'd ever watched

housewives and so i loved it i loved it and i i admire linda's bravery for uh opening a modeling uh agency in dc which is really not known for its modeling i was gonna say i am i am from dc i thought you're about to say that we were all ugly but you know i'll let it slide i'll just say that i don't i don't think it has a it's not a hotbed it's not like the next milan or london or paris miami starring joanna krupa yeah no kidding no kidding. Because Ocean Drive magazine clearly keeps that city afloat. It is for the poor people. It is so they have something to look up to.

Oh, wait. That's one thing we have to talk about. Whoa, this is big gossip here. Alexis's son punching a homeless guy in the nuts on video. I did read about that last night. You know how much less guilty i felt about saying over and over that he deserved to be in that car wreck yeah i like felt totally cleansed i was like

you see he's a worse person than me and he did deserve to be in that car wreck thank you that was so vile first of all also i'd like to say on a purely superficial note even before he punched the bum i was like whoa he's he like lost a lot of his looks like he's definitely become a stone or his hair's grown out he's become sort of like gaunt he needs him he needs a makeover and then on top of that he goes and just punches a poor homeless guy in the nuts and videotaped it i mean i almost did that because i was walking home from pinkberry the other night at like two in the morning because they're open till two right down the block from us ben i know homeless guy tried to steal my pink berry and i was i would have

those homeless people and their health conscious ways i'll tell you i would not have videotaped it but i was ready to beat down for my pink berry maybe that got maybe that homeless person was alexis's son look i'm not against punching a homeless person in the nuts but don't tape it i mean are you fucking moron don't tape it it was really cruel i mean you know i will say this this is a very un-pc thing to do to say but homeless people drive me nuts okay they drive me nuts in this city they're very aggressive they're always coming at me i know that sounds very privileged but um that being said i wouldn't punch one of the nuts just for fun i mean i'm not sure they tried to steal my camp my my uh pinkberry like

totally that's why i moved away from venice and santa monica because there was too many of them over there and i'm like don't they want to be homeless by the beach get them the fuck out of hollywood jesus wait i have a question could you dial back a little bit what happened so this homeless person tried to steal your pinkberry what What exactly happened? I don't think that he thought it was pink berry because homeless people typically want, you know, other, you know, meatier, I don't know, like hamburgers. I don't know. I'm just assuming. I'm just assuming. And was like, oh, wait.

Right. I'm also an elitist vegetarian. And I had fruit toppings, so he probably would have been pissed. But, no, he can't. I don't know. Ben, there are some. I moved from Larchmont Village to, you knowllywood and it is it is rough for me ben i'm having some i'm having some difficulties well hollywood is get oh my god this play this town is really disgusting you know

and it's all a sad egomaniacs from all over the world like someone told us we were cute when we were 10 and we're like oh i'll move to hollywood why did we do this this is just stupid yeah we're gonna die here you know that right and matt you know what i'm glad to hear not i'm not glad to hear that a homeless man accosted you but thank you but but last night at like 1 30 in the morning i drove by that pinkberry because i thought it was only open to like 12 and i saw people too i'm searching i saw people actually i was at 150 and i saw people emerging with their little Pinkberry, and I was like, wait, Pinkberry's open until 2 a.m.? I should maybe go there after hours sometime. 2 a.m.

2 a.m. every night. The homeless people will be there waiting for me. Oh, yeah, because... I now take a rape whistle and pepper spray when I go to Pinkberry at night. So people will know what to come watch while you're getting raped. I am going to recruit Alexis' son to be my bodyguard.

If any homeless people attack me on my way to frozen yogurt, he will punch them in the nuts. Well, I have to say that our neighborhood, we've been cultivating some really great homeless people. I mean, we've got a couple of horrible, crazy ones, but they're really funny. The other night I went out and I went into 7-Eleven and I gave one a dollar which you know i'm my ass is drunk if i give someone anybody if i give you a dollar you know i'm drunk how dare you open your wallet in front of like a mangy homeless person who might have attacked you and stolen everything we're all really honing the spirit of ramona and sonja right now yeah totally you guys it's called rolling in the mud ben okay rolling in it so, I gave him a dollar, and he goes, Hey! Are you a psychic?

And I thought that was hilarious. I was like, well done. If only I had another dollar to wave in your face before I walked inside. Speaking of our hood, I forgot to tell you guys this, but I did go to both Villa Blanca and Sur on back-to-back days. Well, thanks for the invite. Well, a friend took me on a Groupon to Villa Blanca and Sur on back-to-back days. Well, thanks for the invite. Well, a friend took me on a Groupon to Villa Blanca.

Oh, poor Lisa. Sorry, sweetie. Gotta tell you, it's a dump inside. I had been there before, I think, to have a quick drink at the bar, but we went early before it actually got dark outside. It is a shithole in Villa Blanca.

No way! i do not believe that the entire place is white on the inside but it's all like scuffed up and dirty i was really it was like a little bit like sonia's house on the inside oh yeah i went there like i think i went there like a year and a half ago and it was i mean i don't actually like the decor it's like very white it seems a little little it's very z very Z Gallery. Yeah, but it wasn't ghetto. It wasn't scuffed and dirty. I think it's probably because they put it on Groupon. There was lots of riff-raff up in there, including myself. Don't get me

wrong. And then Sir, much nicer. Sir is nice. I like Sir. It's very simple, nice, but... Didn't we go off about Sir? Oh, yeah, we did, because when we were talking about the Persians on that other show that you guys love. didn't we go off about Sir? Oh yeah, we did because when we were talking about the Persians on, um, yeah,

that other show that you guys love. Oh, go on. The Shaw's at sunset. I'm way too racist for this show anymore. Well, when that, when that show comes back, I'll go on hiatus.

Well, I think what, I think we've covered all our bases here. Wouldn't you say? I would say so. I think that we should make one prediction about what is going to happen on the next New York reunion. What do you predict is going to happen? I think Sonya will open her legs and several bats will come flying out.

I think that Countess Luanne is going to admit that pirate cock tastes better than French cock. going to admit that pirate cock tastes better than French cock? I believe that Carol is going to rip off her face, and underneath it's going to be Carol Channing. Hello, Dolly. Well, hello,

Dolly. Oh, by the way, I'm going to try... I guess I shouldn't announce this before I actually do it, but... Well, just do it now. I'm going to try to get Alexis alexas bolino on twitter our little friend sent me a link to the miami theme song and it turns out that it's adriana singing it and it's really hilarious if you listen to the whole thing so if you don't if you don't hear it right now when we sign off, go to the Facebook page and I'll post it there. Awesome.

Okay, guys. Thank you, everybody, for being here. Subscribe to us on iTunes. Press like. Give us stars. Talk shit with us on Facebook at facebook.com slash watchwhathappens. Find us on Twitter at whatcrappens. Find Matt at lifeonthemlist.

Find Ben at bsideblog and find me Ronnie at tvgasm I'll be doing I did a redub of New York last week and I'll be doing another next week of the Jill Zarin interview so just check out the video section of tvgasm and that's all I got you boys good?

all good Ben safe travels to New York tell Maggie from Gallery Girls that we say hi if you bump into her for more cocktails. Please take a Sharpie and write on light poles. Shut up, Jules Aaron. I'll do my best, but I don't think I'm actually going to be in this actual city. But if I make it down there, I will try to

get the word out. Okay, everybody. Shut up, Jules Aaron. Shut up, Jules Aaron. We love you all. See you next time. Toodles. Bye. I've been around the world since so many places chose Miami as my home Paradise is here I whisper in her ear

time to get you in the zone yeah come feel the rush I'll make you blush join me and taste our new heaven come feel the

rush I'll make you blush join me and taste let's close down Ocean Drive. Oh, can you feel the Latin vibe? But the sun is playing. Blow palm trees are swaying. Welcome to the 304. I love it. Just feel the rush of me.

Keep the bush for me. Just drink. And taste the thing of our enemies. Come take the rush of me. Keep the bush for me. And taste. And taste. I am living la dolce vita.

I'll be your mamacita. Come with me and sound the dance. Yeah. Your mamacita Yeah I'm in the rush I'm in the rush Join me and touch I'm making the shoot, drive me and take a trip. I'm making the shoot, drive me and take a trip. Tonight, I'm gonna make your dreams come true. Miami is the place where the world goes down

Yeah, yeah, yeah Uh, show me that fashion, here we go Lights, cameras, action, baby, take a pose The love of a money lady, gotta get him crazy Jump in my Mercedes, take me with your runner, baby Oh, yeah, we live in Miami, oh, yeah Travel that world, what's up? Now I know you can't get enough

The life is so glamorous, baby, can you handle this? Got to feel the rush I'm making the rush Drop me a kiss I love it Can you handle this? Got to feel the rush I'm making the rush

Drop me a kiss Tonight Tonight I'm gonna make your dreams come true. Miami is the place where the world goes to. Yeah. Go to the rush. I'm gonna make you blush. Try me and it tastes fine. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet.

The folks behind the Sideshow network have launched a new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like reggie watts todd glass liza slicinger slicing driving friends with her for 10 years one of the funniest people out there and i still have a hard time with the last name liza our very own owen benjamin that's me takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash

wait for it comedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. A few days ago, Brooke Tudine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and 3 comments. Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment.

In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. And nothing says inspiration better than saving money. Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork, excellence, and make it happen. Hashtag keep climbing. Hashtag savings. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Happens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.