Watch What Crappens - #391 PumpRules: Beads to the Face

Episode Date: February 15, 2017

The Vanderpump Rules kids head to NOLA for a joint bachelor/bachelorette party and someone takes some well deserved beads to the face. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Also, check out Ronnie’s new TrashTalkTV RHOBH Audiobook podcast at tttv.podbean.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crapens add free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air, come over to facebook.com-watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move, I can't move Miss Madonna Hines, Mads with a sexy day! We love you girls. Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappings Podcast!

The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on yo broms! I'm Ronnie Caram from the Rose Praik Spachler Podcast and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, audiobooks, on iTunes, etc. And I'm with my gorgeous partner, Ben Mandelker of the B-side blog. And the banter blender podcast Hello Ben. Oh, hello Ronnie, happy Valentine's Day. Will you be mine? Who does that, seriously?

How could you have a holiday about Valentine's when I'm like single right now and gone throughout? I can't believe it's Valentine's Day when I'm single. Who does that calendar? Who do they like not do that like right in front of my face while I'm trying to just cope with my hurricane? I mean I can't Welcome to the Van der Pomp Rooze. Special Van der Passe day this year. Wow. Wow, it's gonna be a day.

You know, I really enjoyed this episode and last night I decided to do something a little different, which is live tweet during the show. And that was a lot of fun, I have to do something a little different, which is live tweet during the show. And that was a lot of fun, I have to say. So if you are not, checking out, not following our Twitter at what crap ends, you may be missing out because there will probably future live tweeting experiences in the future.

Yeah, as I, that's what the implied, that's what the implied by a future love tweet. They're live, these tweets are live, you guys. Yeah, we're happy. There's going to be a future live tweet thing in the future. But anyway, that was super fun and it was like really cool. Thanks for everyone who was sort of responding back and everything.

I felt like I was, I felt like I was like the center of a little circle at a cocktail party making witticisms. Yeah. And people were like, oh, man, tell another one. But people. like the center of a little circle at a cocktail party making with his own and people were like, Oh, man, tell another one, but people that was in my head. But people you don't have to wait for anybody else to talk. Just like yourself. I get to do it. It just gets to be me. Just all me.

Oh, we love it. So check out our Twitter. And of course, we're always pimping out our Instagram these days because I'm like addicted to our Instagram page right now. I can't stop posting to it and going on to Instagram Live, which is super cool. Yeah, it's actually kind of weird that we haven't been, that we haven't done that earlier.

I mean, it's been about five years to do that, which is a bizarre because it is really fun. And it's fun putting up little, little stupid clips on on there. I mean now real housewives of Atlanta is just And I think I just let it play over and over again for a good five minutes and laugh. It's it's a great clip And you also put up that really funny slash creepy clip. And you also put up that really funny slash creepy face swap with you and Bethany. That is really. I was definitely watching Lollaland. I was trying to get a good Beyonce picture with Sunday night. So I was trying to get a Beyonce picture at the Grammys.

And I just couldn't get one good enough for face swap. But I've always got a Bethany handy. And the Lollaland commercial came on. So I just did't get one good enough for face swap, but I've always got a Bethany handy. And the La La Land commercial came on, so I just did it with that. Well, it was very accurate, because I can imagine Bethany being totally confounded by that movie. Like, the dancing into the stars,

like how did they do that? Like, they asked you not to do something, was there a jetpack? Is this the brand of the movie? Like, out of space exploration? Like, I don't get it. I thought it was about Los Angeles, not the stars. I don't think I got an Lillian, can stars. I don't think I got literally a can.

I don't know. What's up? Seriously, what's he doing right now? Rank off thing? Bye. Hi. I don't get it. What's the matter with the jazz club?

What's the matter? So over at, over down in West Hollywood, it, Vanderbump Sir, Vanderbump Sir rules, everybody is getting ready to go to New Orleans to celebrate the horror show that will be Tom and Katie Smert. Oh my goodness. Girl, that is a couple. I do not want it my dinner party.

She drink all the ranch and he just be there trying to victimize her the whole time while looking innocent, you know. He just say little things to piss her off during dinner like, baby, you sure you meant to do that? You make God your soul is important. And then the dinner party is ruined. Yeah. Yeah. I would say that they're right now probably the most dysfunctional couple on Bravo, but

then I watched Summer House afterwards and I may have to revise that ranking. Yeah. But we'll get to that later this week. The functional couples we don't really see on Bravo. I think they just sweep those under the rug as Jack should say. Yeah, and they also just don't go on reality TV. I just like Jack say sweeping under the rug like, A, you've never swept anything. You don't have a rug. Like, I just you don't seem like the type like none of this makes sense. What are you even talking about right now? He wants Brittany to sweep things under the rug. That's her one job in addition to doing the laundry.

That's her other one job and to make a turkey sandwich. That's her other one job and to pop the sit-ups back. That's her other one job. God, why can't you do your one jobs? Under the rug. Under the rug. Brittany's just under the rug. A big lump.

I'm like in this fan with Jax. the street urchin version of Little Mermaid. Under that dog. Is a little poor. Isn't it not meat? Wouldn't our studio apartment be incomplete? If we didn't have, what do you call them shark cuteries Brittany would be excited to find a fork in my ocean though she is that kind of girl she would be and she probably does have a friend who's a seagull

I was talking to seagull the other day. I was a pigeon. Oh my goodness. I was wondering why he always hung out here by the concrete. Don't haul me, pigeon. Okay, so we open it, Stasi's apartment. And Kristen comes, Stasi's packing to go. And Kristen comes over and she's like, ugh, it's so hot outside.

And Stasi's like, guess what? It's about to be hotter. And Kristen's like like you mean more humid Okay, Kristen thanks Our brain just exploded Seriously, how can I get hotter seriously? But hotter you met more human rights. There's a difference. Oh I made a t-shirt about it

Seriously, I'm killing the weather game right now I've been really getting into meteorology because I'm really into asteroids, but turns out it's just about weather. I'm trying to game you right now. So like stick with the game, you're not killing the game right now. I said hotter, you said humid. She's like, whatever, I'm single, how could you do this to me? Yes, and muggy. Seriously. Let's tossie. It's like, I feel like it's my own wedding. Like I'm so worried about everything.

Like is the bachelor party gonna be good? Like I have nightmares about Katie being disappointed to me. That's what's walking. Yeah, go ahead. Walking. Walking nightmares. Walking. You're lucid dreaming because it's really happening. She's already disappointed. Whatever you do, she's disappointed. Yeah, those dreams that we all have for that waitress at that place is Disappointed in us. I want to live in Marine high honey. No, not today. I'm disappointed. Well, that just fucked up my day, Lorraine.

I tweeted that it was like Nightmare on Almsdrup but with tea towels. tweeted that it was like nightmare and almshreet, but with tea towels. I can't close my eyes. Katie's gonna try and make me take another tea towel. I can't do it. Stas is gonna answer the phone instead of a tongue coming out, it's just a tea towel. That wipes up nothing.

It's like the biggest nightmare ever. I've got all these boxes of tea towels made out of rayon. Like they do not stop up anything. It's like, it's just like the world's largest wedding invitation, but nowhere to sign your RSVP. So I was like, I just keep on looking. It's page after page after page, and I keep wanting to write Stasi plus one, but there's nowhere for me to write it. Kristen's love advice is so funny, because Stasi is like, you know, it's like,

we're going on this thing and I'm single. Should I take this and Kristen's like, yeah, it's funny and flirting, just like you. Ugh. And Stasi's like, really? Because I feel like I'm kind of negative and abrasive. Like, well, you know, you said it not me. Well, you can't wear a sandpaper dress.

So. Well, there is a new burlap look you could try. Oh, I'm sorry. Katie just uses this all for the bride's, bride's sour. Yeah, the gifts. Those are the, she's used that to decorate the candy station at the wedding. The candy corn bowls that you can make your own Sunday. Dorn with burlap. So Tom and Ariana, Ariana's mama's over.

Unfortunately, not to clean the brother up off the couch, but she's over there to say, hey, or whatever, and she's like, remember that horse? I'm like, oh God, don't start with the horse again. Raven, Raven, please, please don't start talking about the fucking horse friend again. I can't take I heard that Peter actually had to change the name of his movies though. I would not conflict with Raven. That's what's called the Reven the Reven mount the Reven mount Leo de Carrias just chased by a pelican.

Brittany's like watch it. It's a Ravenont. Watch out. Raven Uncle's coming too. So Tom blows a fuse. Tom blows a fuse because he tries to microwave something while the air conditioner is on. Been there. And I love it that he goes the fuse box. And he's air conditioner is on. Been there. And I love it that he goes the fuse box and he's like, come on.

Been there. Girl, that was happening to me and I didn't understand why. I just kept blowing out all these fuses. It took me a long time to figure out it was like how you have plugged things plugged in. When you live in an old Los Angeles apartment, you got to get really tricky with how you plug things in. I've got extension cords running all over this place. Looks like mission impossible in here, like ducking under cords

to get to places. Not touching them so you don't get electrocuted. So he starts talking about how Katie is sending him abusive texts. Because Katie sent him a text, it was like, did you screenshot it? I did not not I wrote the whole thing down Okay, go for it take over darling Okay, I'm tired of fighting and defending myself against y'all with my fiance Jesus Christ get over yourselves and Considering I already have the rep of texting mean shit. I don't care. We fight solely about him defending the two of you I'm very over it y'all are very much his friends and it's hard to argue that, but I'm very upset and frustrated. No that. I added that part.

No that. I can see when you're all gonna die. I can see when your next horse is gonna die. No that. I know when and where. I'm gonna have my next drink. No that. She's awful and let's not forget that she started all of these fights. Fucking Katie starts them every single time and she does it again in this episode. Well, she has a loyalty complex. She really, you know, she has this thing about how could Ariana be nice to Lala when Lala was being mean to me? You know, she just has to get over and she has to accept that people are allowed to be friends with other people.

And you know what, the way you deal with it is you say, okay, well, I don't really respect that about Ariana, so I don't think she'll ever be a close friend of mine, but I'll keep her at arm's length, but I'll just enjoy her for who she is. That's what most people do, instead of, well, it's just that like, I mean, you're allowed to be friends with whoever you want, but it's just like, you know, it's like hurtful. I don't know. I just

feel like, what about loyalty? Just, no, no, that's not how you do it. Well, don't you ever order blue cheese, Katie? I would love to be the waiter in the restaurant when Katie orders a side of blue cheese. I will be like, really? Where's your hidden valley loyalty, Katie? Where has it gone? I like Ariana goes, I don't know if it's maybe she's just like stressed out about her wedding or something like, oh, really? You think you think she has 10 boxes of tea towels to get rid of. The mom's like, you don't think she has cold feet about the wedding. And then they cut to the dog and it's just like Fucking shit So that was also by the way that that that that comment you don't think she has cold feet

I love that that's a typical almost reality show thing just to It was almost like a Kenya moresum to Introduce a motivation that wasn't there at all And it's like oh, okay, and now everyone's gonna think that she has cold feet. Now she has a cold heart. That's it. There is no sticky socks for a cold heart, okay?

Is you're just stuck in a cold apartment? Would you cold hot? So then we go over to you, sir. And this is widely Savannah prop is only hiring people lately with two syllables in their name, because this is awkward. She's like Almost choked she's like It's like there's no life in that you know

So she needs to be like if Lala's not gonna be here make sure she's at the door. Yeah I was surprised you she just doesn't call him Chad Chad because if they're only gonna be one syllable They're like call him Chad Chad because if they're going to be one syllable, they're like repetitive syllable. Chad Chad Chad Chad Chad Chad Chad Chad. So they're talking about this party they're having later and Ken, Ken walks in and he's very formal today. He's got his shirt buttoned all the way up to the very top of his stomach. Which is weird. It's usually down to his pubic line these days. I must have had

jury duty or something. So we find out that Daily Mail is going to be having a party at pump. And DJ James Kennedy, they requested DJ James Kennedy for the party party and so Lisa did not hire him but the Daily Mail People Did This is by the way the same Daily Mail White Party That Erica Girardi wore no underwear to oh, it showed a pretty little pus. Oh, this is the same thing Yeah, same one how weird that they didn't get to film it for either show Right is that strange yeah Also, this is the Daily Mail that puts everything in bullet points. Yeah.

Like, the articles are like, oh, Bama got off the plane. Oh, Bama went into the airport. Oh, Bama sat down in a hot dog. Yeah. And then they have a whole article about it again. And then they show pictures with the same captions as the bullet points. It's like, oh my god, we get it. Daily mail. So James shows up and he always says that shit eating hello when he says it was, hello. I like shut up, James. You were fired. I think he put ice cream in his hair as hair

gel today because it is very stiff. There's New York superfudge chunk in there. It was very like big boys, you know, whipped back. He just, he went to ride eight and stuck his head under the, was that thrifty ice cream machine. She's like, I didn't invite that super New York everything but the back here, but we got an email from the Daily Mail that said bullet point DJ James Kennedy performs bullet point. DJ James Kennedy doesn't get drunk. Bullet point music pumping. So they have to like have him back to do this party. And basically, you know, just does her leave her Lisa you better not let me down. You know the policy of not drinking I'm very well. Oh, I have been at a residency. I've been in juries

Well, congratulations. You're a doctor now. You don't even need this job You've moved on to hug and does. Hug and does darling. That's what I'm working with. I'm working with this really awesome lady now. She's like, it's really amazing producer. Her name is Jenny's, of Jenny's ice cream. She's amazing.

And residency at her shop on Las Villes Boulevard. Well, guys, it is time that we could all use a really good vacation. And thankfully, now we get to go to... As we go to... As we go to... Time to visit tropical enthralling, invigorating... As we go to... to visit tropical and thralling, invigorating, as well as I. Not to be confused with your local Zuzu dealer.

Of course, Zuki. So, yeah, she knows having a pool party and she's getting ready and she's like, oh, it smells so good. I'm like, those are words really spoken in Azusa. Well, that was hot dogs really spoken in Aziza. That's hot dogs. Smells like Aziza.

Why am I talking about hot dogs so much? I don't know, maybe because it's Valentine's Day. Who knows? So she's got people making a taco bar cooking and she's like, it's been fiery with the group. I'm like, oh, nice barbecue plug, Sino. Yeah. It's roasting. it's firing. This creature has been charcoally.

I think it was also the day that there was that crazy forest fire. Remember when the sky was brown over the summer because I noticed the sky was brown. That may have just been Azusa. So, I don't know. I was going to say another day, Azusa. Azusa is the only one to say it. Like, hey, the sun's up.

They're like, the sky's brown. Oh, it say another day in Azusa. I don't even say it like, hey, the sun's up. They're like, the sky's brown. Oh, it's another day. I hope it doesn't run acid on us. They call that an Azusa sunrise. So everyone shows up. A Brittany is selling the legacy of Carrie Fisher with her ode to Princess Leia. She has her braids curled around her ears and wearing some something that is

ostensibly a bathing suit, but it just sort of looks like a bunch of straps that were kind of strapped around her. Princess Leia round too much girl. You need to be more of a princess stand up and walk around every once in a while. Brit me. That bathing suit was not even close to fading. The bottom of her bikini top is like up at her nipples. I was like, did you check this? It was. It was a little sort of like what I'd imagined Edward's his hands would create for bathing suit. Kind of punk, asymmetrical, punk, leather, cyber, hooters.

I like that the bottom crease of the boob is coming in fashion. Brittany's gonna bring it in totally on accident. She just didn't have to go, she just didn't have time to go to target for an easy. He's gonna be like, oh my god, the bottom boob crease. I'm in, totally wearing a... Suspring. But on the other end of the spectrum, you have Tom Schwartz wearing a Mumu, which, I don't know if this was supposed to be like a hipster look or a funny look. It just wound up being a strange look. Well, he got it in Hawaii, he said, just for fun.

But then he wears it now, because it's basically like a pink house dress, you know? And he wears it now because it's basically like a pink house dress You know, and he wears it now when he's giving up on life and he's telling them this as he's talking about how everything with Katie sucks He's like, yeah, it's been sucky with Katie and Tom's like, oh, was anything wrong with you guys? He's like, yeah, well old Katie's fucking back, you know, and they're like dude That's not good for a relationship. And that's when Jack, he says, I'm gonna sweep it under the rug and Jack's and it's like, that rug is gonna have a hump.

Yeah, he's like, he's like, he compares their relationship to a stinky room. And I'm like, well, if there's anyone who would know about stinky rooms, it's definitely Jack's. Yeah, it was too close to home. He's like, it's like when you smell something in your room and then like you don't even bother to like Look for what it is so you just like for breeze But then it's like stinky again later And so you keep for breezing it and then you realize like you used a grilled cheese sandwiches your spooge sandwich

And just like left it under the bed that whole time like it could have been fixed I'm like whoa whoa too much. Too much jacks. A little bit too much. Let's pull a little less from your real life. I loved also how this little dog came running up to Jacks. It was this little wet dog and Jacks is like, oh, you're a wet noodle and then they just cut to Katie.

I was like, oh, it was like a long, extended cut to Katie in an was like, oh, it was like a long extended cut to Katie. And in an interview, just lingering there. Like, well, we don't have any pool noodles, but we have Katie. And then this sexy music starts playing. It's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, yeah, fucking. And it's just the girls getting into their bathing suits. It's like, no. No.

So Katie hasn't talked to Tom. She's at this point, she's like no. No. So Katie hasn't talked to Tom all the time. At this point, she's now drunk. I don't remember if she's in an inner tube or on a chair, but she's just drunk and she's going over to the quote unquote dark side and she's talking about how she and Tom haven't even talked today. Tom hasn't talked to her. And then she says, Ariana made a choice to put a damper on

it all. I don't remember why I wrote that down, but because that's what she said. She's like, yeah, like I was having my bridal shower and then like, Ariana made the choice to put a damper on it all. I'm like, I can't even have that in my own bad old showeryer and she's like, I'm with the ping pong. Like, yeah, and she's like, I'm sorry. I'm not a bit damp on it. She's like, this is why she wasn't asked to be a bright made. I'm like, look, bitch. You started all of that.

You're still keeping it going. You're going to start it over and over again. And guess what? Your stupid ass is going to get slapped down every single time. You are wrong. You are wrong. You are wrong. Because also what happened was that Stasi tried to start shit with Ariana about Lala. And so they were bickering in the corner.

And Katie was the one who walked up to them and then decided to do the whole, it's like my day. This is like one of the most specialties. It's like a milestone on my journey towards the altar. And you know, like I just can't believe you'd be fighting and casting a poll on my day. Like, kid, you could just like walked away and let them fight it out. Like you actually actively involved yourself

in a stupid little scuffle that those girls were having. Yeah, and they were all asking for it. And both of them, by the way, are over it at this point. Yeah, they don't care anymore. And last week, they made up at the bridal shower and then she's like, well, some people need to apologize because none of this, like she's someone who keeps bringing it up, you know? And then she even tells us she's like, well, some people need to apologize because Nenon is like, she's someone who keeps bringing it up, you know?

And then she even tells us she's like, this is like, she goes, I've decided that, like, I'm not gonna be insecure about this, but it is heartful when a man puts another woman's feelings above mine. It's like, super duper like legit. Her fall. Do I need to be blunder? Do I just need to be more like the guys like Ariana?

Like, what do I gotta do to get Tom to respect me? And I'm like, how about maybe not being a raging asshole or maybe getting a better job? Maybe have a dream or a goal? Maybe stop standing behind some salt and pepper trays? Like anything. How about those things? How about last year when you forced Kristen

into the Hawaii trip when Tom and Ariana were really uncomfortable about that? And that you didn't seem to have any issue about loyalty there. You didn't seem to have any issue about putting someone putting their emotions before someone else. You were really respecting Tom and Ariana's wishes there. and you're better friends with Tom at that point. But that being said though, I actually do think Katie has some something of a point here because Tom Schwartz is passive aggressive. He really is. I mean, they deserve each other

because they're both passive aggressive. But the truth is, I actually have, I always thought it was sort of shady that Tom Schwartz asked Ariana to be his groomsman because Katie has had an issue with Ariana and whether or not it's valid or not, she did have an issue. And then Tom asks her to be like one of, in his bridal party, his grooms, with his groomsman.

That's very passive aggressive actually, and that puts Katie in a really bad position. And as much as we come down on Katie for just being awful in so many different ways, in that respect, I actually think that that was a shady move on Tom's part. And sometimes I do understand where she's coming from when she says things like,

like, why can't you have my side on this? Even though her side is generally wrong, I actually understand her frustrations. I don't because that's his best friend is going to be his groomsman. And she's trying to like keep the girlfriend out of everything, which you can't do. Like if you're going to marry into a group of friends, those guys are all best friends. You can't just start excluding people and be like, they can't come and they can't come to this. They can't come to that only Tom can come, which you know shall start. And he could have been like, well, okay, you can just bring Ariana around as a date or whatever, because she'll be with you anyway.

She can come, still come to the bachelor parties and stuff like that. But Katie was being a bitch just to be a bitch. Ariana's never done shit to her. She was just being an ass area trying to put a wedge. She was trying to put a bitch. Ariana's never done shit to her. She was just being an ass- I'm not even trying to put a wedge. She was trying to put a wedge between him and his friends because she feels, as she said in the text earlier, all our fights are about you guys. It's about the external friends. Yeah, but those fights are coming

because you feel like he's nicer to his friends than he is to you. And you're taking it out on the friends. And this is one example of her trying to do that. It's like, okay, well, I'm going to keep her out. And then I'll show Tom, I'll show Tom and Ariana. And it's like, bitch, you don't get to be a bitch in everybody else's relationship. That's reserved for your man. And if I'm not married to somebody who's in a group of friends, then you're just going to have to deal with someone else being there. She's the one going up

and starting shit with everybody. No, I agree. I don't, she starting to shit. I don't, I think she's totally wrong in all those fronts. I'm just saying, I don't think that it would have, I think Tom taking Ariana as a groom's man was pushing it. I do think it was pushing it, obviously, because his fiance has an issue with her, you know? And he would not be excluding Ariana if he did not have her as groomsman. There's no expectation that he would ever have Ariana as a groomsman, okay? Katie would be the bitch by

basically inviting everyone to be a bridesmaid except for Ariana, okay? And so I think that Tom doing that is sort of saying a little bit of a fuck you to his own fiance and I think that that's what I think that's sort of saying a little bit of a fuck you to his own fiance. And I think that that's what I think that's probably one of her main issues. I agree with everything else you say. I think Katie is taking it out on the wrong people. And she is like way too, she's too involved in this, just too, they have underlying issues that are just fucking horrible.

This stuff with Lala, everybody was mean to Lala when she came. Everybody, they were horrible to her. And Katie led that, you know, Katie was the wrong leader of that. She's an awful human being, you know, so fuck you, Katie, you want to be mean and bully somebody else that you don't even know because she's younger and thinner than you and hotter than you and like has a chance at life still. And so you want to like snuff her out in the bed and you can't. And you don't get to just tell everybody who they can hate and who they can't hate. Fuck you bitch. So I'm glad that he did that because this is the only way to stand up to her. You know, it's like she'll never listen to his side in any kind of fight they ever have. It's just like you were wrong and you just

need to be me. You were wrong. And he goes, okay, I was wrong. But you know, well, I mean, I think the reason why she does not like Ariana or bullshit because it's about this lala thing. But I would, I, if there was someone that I had issues with that I really didn't like. And my boy, if we, if my boyfriend and I got engaged, and I was like, I don't really, you know, I'm fine to invite this person to my, to my wedding, but I'm not really like, you know, I don't gonna have this person be in my, in my, my grooms, be one of my groomsman. And then my boyfriend did, I would, I would feel a little bit like, that's a little fucked up. I really would. Yeah, well, I get that, but you're nice. So you wouldn't be excluding some of your purpose. Like, I think Tom's looking at it like, right, I think Tom's looking at it like, look, I'm marrying a bitch, but I love her anyway. Like I love that she's a bitch.

I don't care. Like I still love Katie, which is I understand Tom. So I just like I'm not going to be a bitch just because she's going to be a bitch. Like she could she can be non inclusive all she wants to, but I'm going to still be inclusive. Like I'm not going to change myself into a bitch just to marry a bitch, you know, but I mean, like you're saying your man should stand up for you. And I think she's right

when she's like, he's standing up for some woman other than me. He's not blindingly, he's not blindly taking my side. Like you see with Ken van to bump, he'll take her side no matter what. I mean, she could eat a baby and he'd be like, well, that baby looked delicious sterling. You know, like he's always on her side. And you're not going to have that kind of marriage, Katie. You don't have it. You haven't had that kind of thing. But the thing is that he, I mean, so here's the thing. He also put himself into the situation, right? Because a lot of stuff he's saying about Ariana is totally true.

You know, he is right. Ariana is more emotionally mature. She is, like, she's not crazy the way Katie is. But Tom put himself in the situation where now he has to defend this, he has to just decide between defending, you know, Ariana versus Katie, and he put himself in that situation by having Katie as a Grimzmann. So he kind of undercut his own position, right, because by doing this past progressive gesture, and I do understand why he had her because Ariana is cool. And it's like, why not?

Like, you know, he has fun with Jackson, Tom and Tom and he's like, and Ariana is the one. And exclusive bitch for years and cut people out whenever she wants to for years and be the little queen of that. And I think he just doesn't want to do it. So good for him, but I mean, really beyond that,

he shouldn't be marrying Katie. I mean, it's gonna be a terrible life. Katie. I mean, they have a whole life. Yeah, I mean, they're well, they're very passive aggressive to each other and they push each other's buttons. And I do agree, I do believe that that Tom Schwartz probably pushes buttons more than we see by Katie definitely. Katie also needs to get a grip. Katie needs to get over it.

Okay, because it's really the stupidest thing. I mean, I love watching it. And I have to say, man, going into the season, I thought this this wedding saga was going to be the pits. I thought it was just going to be the most boring season and it's turned out to be the most hilarious, wonderful thing ever. Yeah. And we're talking about this relationship so seriously. It feels so stupid, but I just have to say the only reason he has to

keep defending Ariana is because Katie keeps going for her. Ariana is not doing anything. Katie keeps coming for Ariana every single time she sees her. That's why he has to stick up for her. If she would just stop it, he wouldn't have to stick up for her. There would be no problem. Katie's the problem, you know. Well, Katie, because Katie is being a very self-involved bride, and everything has to do with her and if people, anytime someone does something, she sees it as an attack on her wedding journey, and that's just an absolutely ridiculous stance to take. But it's what she's doing. It's what a lot of people do, unfortunately. So Stossy's with Brittney, and she's like, so how are you, Brittany? And I love that Stossie's found a way to not wear a total neck bathing suit, but still

have a collar to bathing suit. Did you notice that? It's like, are you only shopping for bathing suits with collars? What is going on with you? What's happening to your chest that you're trying to hide? I need to know. I did not notice that, but I'll make a note of it when I go back into the other side. It's not like a big floppy like triangular collar or anything.

It's just, you know, like a little collar. I wish it was like one of those Wall Street collars. You know, we're like the bathing suits light blue, but there's like a white collar. Her hair is like back like she's about to do some cocaine and then inside her trading in the pool. I'd like a cowl bathing suit on Stasi. I'd like to see how she pulls that one off. Oh, wow. A cowl. Look, I don't know what a cowl neck is.

It's like, it's kind of like a turtle neck, but it's really super loose and hangs down. It's like humongous. You know, a Stasi has like made and I like this is like Stasi's iconic fashion moment. It's a turtle neck bathing suit. This is now a forever associated with her. And the thing is this it's gonna go from this point of derision to 10 years from now it's going to be the thing. It's gonna be oh the Stasi turtle neck bathing suit. Everyone's gonna you know it's Halloween costumes. I'm seeing big things for it. It's Halloween costumes. I'm seeing big things for it. So, Brittany's like, I'd love to talk about Tom and Katie, what happened with them? So, she's like, well, I thought Schwartz was going to apologize and make it better.

So, that's Katie because right now, she's like basically floating around with ribs hanging out of her mouth. Well, actually, here's what Katie was doing because after the commercial break, there was a commercial break right before this and when they came back from commercial There was this montage of like fun times tacos beach balls pool times fun fun fun fun and then they cut to Katie sitting in a wicker chair slumped over and sad I Cannot stop tackling. I mean this girl it could not be getting a worse edit this season. It is hilarious So meanwhile over on the other side of the pool Tom number one is with Kristen and Schwartz and

they're Tom's like, what's up, bro? But try with your relationship, dude and he's like, you know, man I just like I can't talk to Katie like I can't even talk to her and Kristen's like you should know, man, I just like, I can't talk to Katie. Like, I can't even talk to her. And Kristen's like, you should be able to talk to her. It's gonna be like your wife. It's like, Gabi, I don't talk to her when she has no sense. Like, she's not even making any sense.

She's like, oh, you can talk about your wife like that. Ugh. It's, you know, the funny thing about te'Keele Katie is, at this point, she is... Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. She's just getting gasslet at every corner. Like anytime she says anything that's slightly out of line to be like, oh, you're drunk, aren't you? She's like, no, you're drunk. I mean, the truth is, usually, is drunk. But I think it's hilarious that now she truly can't do anything with anyone just dismissing her out, right? Oh, she's just tequila Katie right now.

Yeah, because what's her defend? No, I'm not drunk. I'm just a bitch. Okay. Well, it's not calling you drunk. It's not calling me a bitch. The frustration is bubbling up from within. And that's not just the champagne and beer.

It is bubbling up and you can see it all over. And to me, it's the funniest thing. Like she has just painted herself into this corner. and now she just can't get out of it and even her own fiance You know if he's losing the argument, he'll just be like oh, well you're drunk. Yeah I'm gonna even got Kristen over there who's like mortified and she's like the worst in relationship So I mean we haven't seen it with Carter yet, but From what we've seen of Kristen she's a horror show, you know, and she's like, yeah, well, if he keeps treating my friend like that, he's gonna have to do with

crazy, Kristen. Oh, no, girl. Which is also, by the way, you're like normal. That's what I tweeted. That's what I tweeted. I said, she said, crazy, Kristen's gonna have to come out and I was like, did you ever put her away? Crazy, Kristen's still around so Jack's and even Jack's is mortified. He's like Dude Jack's is like should this even be happening this wedding cuz like Like I'm not sure like man with Jack's feels like he's on more solid ground than you in your relationship It's time to get on match calm boo. Well, she know at least had some good advice She's like wow, you know, I need to do.

You just need to, you know, kiss her, you know, kiss doesn't make everything better. Every kiss begins with Katie, you know? Yeah, like think of Katie is like a plastic bracelet that looks like time on. I have a half big eyes left. Katie is fake, but like it works. It works.

I just cut off a new shade I would just cut and then jacks is like taking relationship advice from scene as like taking sobriety advice from Shay which okay but Shay is sober so fuck off dude that was that that was a very shady comment But at the same time I'm like there may be some truth to that yeah, um, but yeah, I Yeah, it is like sporting his coke, you know, his dry ass coke nose. One of my favorite, one of my favorite time on a trope, some bravo are people talking about how wonderful their relationship is, uh, when they've already gotten divorced six months ago, uh, in real life. That's like one of my favorite things ever. So for she needed to be talking about, you know, I'm going, we're in such a band where I'm in, just give her a kiss. Give her a kiss. She'll like to do this. She needs a kiss. That's all she needs. Kiss, right? I think I'll have

one of each of the prime kisses. Kiss, right? Katie. That'll make everything about her. So Tom and Schwarze is scared to do it. Yeah, they basically make him go talk to Katie and he's like, well I don't know about this, but I'm a man in a moomo. So what do I have to lose? So he goes over and he tries to force the kiss and she's like To be fair, it was a very soulless kiss. I would not want to be kissed by a So like I would not have to not like a phony kiss from a man in a movie there He's like, um, uh, okay, here goes nothing It's like his eyes are squinted closed. He's like putting his arms out. He's making a scrunchy face like

I wouldn't want that either. I don't want to is tossie goes Katie. You need to let it go I don't want to, and Stas, he goes, Katie, you need to let it go. Yeah. So Tom's like, okay, look, sorry to hurt your feelings. Um, high five. I'm just like, um, no, I don't want to high five right now.

Like, he wants to charm his way out of this with a high five, but like, there's more going on here than like Ariana. And when I have limits, I explode, okay. And he's like, okay it's like okay Baba okay from here on out you need to make my feelings the priority because my make feelings should mean more to you than anybody else's and I'm not getting that he's like okay so he says okay and then Stasi's like yeah resolution

now that's not a resolution Katie's saying next time I bitch about Ariana for no fucking reason and try and kick her out of something. You better stand behind me, which is still not gonna do. So, yeah, no, what you think you're accomplishing, Batch. But then he pulled out ahead of iceberg lettuce and everything was safe. The iceberg was just a vehicle that the ranch called for a ride down Katie Throat. It's not about the iceberg, it's about the ranch. I'm sorry, Ronnie. I have to interrupt because I am looking at a very attractive man at the moment. I am actually on my texture app and I'm looking at men's health and there is a very, very

attractive man on the cover. And it also says, lose your guts. And I'm very excited to have this texture app and I'll tell you why not just because there are sponsor but because I need to lose my gut and therefore I am going to read this men's health thing and learn things myself. I actually really love that app. I was in target the other day and I was standing in a long ass line at the Hollywood Target, which is how you've done it. Yes. And I was reading the magazine covers and people had Bethany Frankle on there and it was like stuck by my ex. And I really wanted to pick it up and started reading it, but I felt like there's a really hot guy behind me that was

Possibly straight. I mean, that's a weird target for him to be in, but it was awkward. And so I read it on my phone instead. I whipped at my texture girl. Yeah, I see it right here. It's, uh, it's Bethany stocked by my ex next to Ivanka and Jared under pressure. Yes. And also those magazines are expensive with texture, textures like Netflix, but for magazines. So you pay one price and you get all the magazines. And they're not some crappy website that keeps loading ads and stuff like that You get the actual magazine to flip through on your mobile device and also honestly I have like too much clutter in my apartment So I've become someone who likes to have my stuff on tablets and phones instead of having the physical things

You know, so it's really great like that for reducing clutter. I can just have all these magazines in one place. I'm a big fan. Yeah, you guys, and paper smells. Like it smells like that. Once you've been reading magazines on an app for a while, you're like papers, gross. Like, so gross.

Like who does that? Who chops down trees and then mushes them together and then dries them out and then puts things on it and then puts them all together and makes them magazine and sells that like gross owls lived in that. Yeah, like trees make the paper to make magazines, but children in China make the iPad. So who would you rather support? Trees are children. Children, I thought so. So texture is normally 999 a month and you get over 200 magazines like Mensbandism people and us in the Atlantic and time and all that fun stuff But if you sign up right now at texture.com slash crap ends you get a 14 day free trial darling

14 days to try a texture for free when you go to texture.com slash crap ins. Yes, darling. I mean, why subscribe to just a couple of magazines? When you can have all your favorites on it's smartphone or tablet all the time, but for we last. Yes, girl, if you buy in two magazines a month, that pays for your texture right there. Yeah. And you get get 200 so think about that to the math darling. Yeah so start your free trial right now and download the texture app. Go to right now textures offering our listeners a 14 day free trial. I think you just said this Ronnie but I'll read a rate. We both did darling. We can't stop reiterating darling

we're out of control wiki wiki wiki and that's a text to dot com slash creppin that's fourteen days of trial texture for free when you go to texture dot com slash crap and storks dot com slash crap and so after this pool party we then and it's ever what we come back into the main city and everyone is getting ready to go to new allens uh... jackson brit are packing and

well about britney wants to pack towels. I was like, why are you packing towels? We're staying at a hotel. She's like, you tell me to pack everything. So I packed everything. Look, I got a box of cheerios in there. I tried to pack the chair, but that's too big. See, I can't believe you tried to disassemble my IKEA chair, put it in the bag. Well, I tried the IKEA is one tricky store. I got an entire bookshelf in the backpack. You know, I forgot to mention in our bonus episode that I went to the new IKEA, the world's the America's largest IKEA.

Where's the same? It's in Burbank. The world's largest so they get rid of the other America. The other IKEA is me turning into like a condo. America's largest IKEA is in Burbank. It just opened on Wednesday. So how far from it is the from how far from it is it? It's like a mile out. It's a mile from the original. Yeah, it's a mile south. It's just off of all of it's it was huge. I was like walking forever. Oh, I don't know. I don't like that walking experience on IKEA. They're always people in

your way and shit. I get so mad at the IKEA. Yeah, it was really crowded. Um, so let's see there. This is where he's like, you have one job, laundry. She's like, excuse me. And she's like, I've taken checks is his fits. But you know what, no matter how much my feelings are hurt, I can't get him to apologize. And my daddy said he takes a real man to apologize. Thanks. Well, I feel like you're answering your own question. So exactly. You go to work more than the day a week. You're the one who flew out LA to Get into relationship with the guy from Instagram. Yeah, you got all those STDs on purpose. So you're stuck So Tom and Arianna pack. Yeah, Thomas slap in his ass

doing the old Clea devolves to Dr. Stance Yeah, he's putting on his ladies clothes And he's like, yeah, you think this is that, dude? She's like, no, that's gross. You look like a lesbian. And lesbians are disgusting. He's very honest fear of lesbians is hilarious to me.

So he's wearing this hat that Lisa gave him. And then he takes it off. And it's his like clay, do ball, like clay, all hair. And I was like, put the hat back on. At least the hat is something a man would wear, you know, like a drag queen. But still a man, like he takes it off. He's like, look, I'm a bad again. I'm like, you, you're on a shampoo commercial.

You're basically a white ring commercial right now. Yeah. Put the hat back on. So then she and she are also packing. Um, and she looks so unenthused about all of this. You know, he's just counting down the days till he can get his affairs in order steal all of she knows money and get a dodge. Um, and she, you know, they're talking about Katie and Tom and all that and she is like, you

know, no relationship is perfect, especially our group of friends. I think I'm just sort of like lingers on him for a moment, for an extra beat. Poor Sheena, she doesn't even see it coming. And she's like, well, I don't plan on having another wedding again. And she's like, yeah. And then Sheena's like, yeah, that's what she was saying. And she said, did you bring your snorkel? And she's like, oh, get me out of here.

Why are you going to go snorkeling in Nolva? Valegators. Did you bring your snorkel? Fucking. Like every time it's a scene, there's something written down like that. That's a bring your snorkel. Does it even know where they're going? I mean, Britney's packing towels. She knows got a snorkel.

They think they're like going off the grape barrier route. It's a camp on the beach. So Tomlin Katie are packing and Katie's like, so now that we're ready to go on a trip, maybe we should have some vows for the trip and he's like, I don't know what that means. I was like, okay, for example, I promise not to rage text while we're out of town.

How about you? And he's like, well, I would say that I promise not to rage text. Well, we're out of town. How about you?" And he's like, well, I would say that I promise to have your back, but that's not going to be an issue because we're not going to have any problems. I don't have to have your back because it's a new chapter, it's a new chapter, and Arianna's a hero now, and everything's great. And we're a United Front. We're a United Front in acknowledging acknowledging how cool Ariana is, right?

High five. High five. I'm sorry, I can't high five you, I'm ready to check. Yeah. Famous last words. Whatever happens, we don't turn on each other. Like, oh, dun, dun, dun. Let's see how that works out.

So now it's New Orleans, and we go to the hotel. Guess what, Jackson's card doesn't work. Jackson, get to stop trying to pay for things with your Costco card. It's not a real credit card. And he's like, oh, man, this is always happening. It's just because whenever I leave, I turn them off because I spent too much money. I'm like, mm hmm. And then Stasi has an existential crisis because she's the only one checking in solo. She's the only one not in a relationship. So she does what any solo person would do, which is immediately get on the phone with room service and see if they have any goat cheese balls in New Orleans. Yeah. And this is going to change so fast for Stasi too, because, you know, she's looking

around at her friend. She says they're making up and making big commitments. And like, here I am single, but I mean, like, same, same scene about to get divorced. Katie's marrying Tom. I mean, that's not going to last. She's going to feel so much better in 10 years when she's the only one who hasn't been through a divorce, you know? Yeah, I mean, she's making it sound like, like, she's surrounded by these forever couples. She just has to wait it out, like 10 more minutes. I don't know. I just would feel so different if I was in New Orleans and I'm like, ugh, Tom stuck

with Katie. She is stuck with Cena. And here I am with my room all to myself and room service. I mean, I feel like I would have won. Like that's winning right there to me. I'm surprised that Stasi doesn't actually have like a gay. Don't you think she would be the sort of girl who'd have some sort of gay that follows her around and sort of like Caroline Sanbury with Luke? You know, you think that Stasi would have a gay too and she would just go somewhere with the gay, but she doesn't even have a gay, which seems a little strange.

I think it's some of the reasons like really super effeminate gay is have trouble staying friends together because like if there's one bitchy gay and he's like making bitchy comments and then the other gay makes bitchy comments back then it becomes bitchier and then bitchier and then before you know it, it's a full-on bitch fight. Like, there has to be, she's already too much of a gay guy. That's what I'm saying. She is, yeah. Yeah, she would, she probably scared off many potential gays.

There were some, some gays who are like, moths of the flame, they're like, oh my god, she's fabulous. She's such a bitch, but she's fabulous. And they get closer and they're like, oh my god. My soul is destroyed. I'm going back to Iowa. It's like how to make a gay bully cry by a stonzy. She's the gay destroyer. I could just imagine that fight because the gay would be like, what? I was just kidding. Like, you're not even kidding. She's like, yeah, well, you're a loser. You can't even sing. I don't know why you're trying to be a singer.

You suck. Well, wait, I just made fun of your channel. Like bathing suit. It was a joke. Oh, really? You're a joke. That's why your mother left you. It's like, oh, geez. You know she would come back with full artillery. Like, you know, he'd be like, hey, bitch, like a little chunky today, huh? Have a little bit

too many spritzers last night. You're the chunky one. Except I wouldn't even call you fat because I know you have a debilitating heroin addiction on it on the count of the fact that your mother never loved you in the first place. I'd rather just kill myself, throw myself into a moat and be eaten apart by a tiny little reptiles that hang out for one more moment with you. It's supposed to be fun. I didn't even think you looked chunky. I was thought we were going back and forth. Anyway, I was just saying that because you were holding a cam of chunky monkey. It was a play on ice cream words. Why did you do that to me? Grow a pair of baguette. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna never made it. Like, I just wanted to be your gay. Mm-hmm. So in Tom and Katie's room, Tom is trying to be, you know, boba, kinda hate when he talks like that. I would punch him in the face if he ever talked like that to me.

boba, and he gives her a kiss, and he goes, do I taste like strippers yet? I'm gonna take off my sweaty socks, my feet stink and she's like, ah! Ah! Ah! Yeah, I'm like, how did I get into this?

So they call Lisa Vanderpromp, who's bought them a room and left them some samples to Ling. And she's tending to Rosé and Diamonds while she talks to them on the phone. She's like, horses. That was funnyonds while she talks to them on the phone. She's the horses. That was funny. The horse at one point made some, you know, when horses go like, yeah, he made one of those noises at the funniest time.

She's like, oh, you in love, darling. It's like, Kristen, your friend wants to talk to you. Rosé and Diamonds. So let's see what am I saying? So now we go. Oh, Tom's like, we'll probably trash this room. Who's on his shirt? He had a picture of somebody on his shirt, but I couldn't see who it was.

I wrote that to ask you. I don't remember. Dammit. I messed up the tube that I didn't write it down. So yeah, so it's just like the typical scene where at least the Vanderpump can be sort of naughty. Even like, oh, be sure to have lots of sex in the hotel room. What's Stasi doing? So they're that and then so then they all go down to Bourbon Street and it's just the typical light. Walk around Bourbon Street,

drinking, and there's a close up of Jacks and Britney, sharing a Jell-O-shot where Jacks takes the Jell-O-shot, and then regurgitates it like a bird into Britney's mouth. Oh, wow. What do you call that? Why is a really good ingredient in the Jell-O-shot? I never thought of that one. Isn't it what's it called?

Is it snowballing, whatever you like when you're giving some one a blowjob? Well, you know, you can see where it's going. Yeah, I don't want to. You literally can see where it's going next, but that's gross enough without thinking of Brittany doing that with Jackson. Like that just like made the even grosser. Well, the best part of the best part of all this so it's like the usual New Orleans thing You know a little like drinking and beads and beads and fun and shows your tits and everything and they're walking along and Someone from somewhere some balcony just throw some beads and they just hit Katie in the face. This was To me this was great. This this this meant that Katie has now entered a special group of people,

aka Marsha Brady and Mickey Gunnelson. Both of them were hit with footballs and in this case it was just a beads but still a bead. That was just so perfect. Just the moment of the affin because she's walking down everyone's parting and she's like, well, this is so, this is like so amazingly fun. Like what a welcoming first night out. Boom! Yeah, then she's like, oh, that hurt. Tom, I can't believe you don't have my side against the bees. The bees are just like, the bees are just doing what they're doing. They're just like a little bit more emotionally mature. So they get to a bar and Tom is, uh, Tom's, Tom number one is wearing a shirt that says Tom number one. He's like, dude, bro, long forever. I've been Tom number one, but like, never have gotten to know you, bro, like your Tom number one. So he pulls off his Tom number one shirt to give to Tom. And it's, you know,

it's very sweet. And then he has a Tom number two shirt. But then later he changes it. He's like, well, I need to bad shoes, but now I have a different one. Yeah. Or they at least just edited out of order. I think that there's no way that Thomas Worts felt comfortable in a shirt that said Tom number one because never in his life has he been the alpha ever? Yeah, he's not comfortable in that position Baba, what do I do? She's like Just give me the shirt. I'm the one who pretend it never happened Baba number one

Baba number one and by the way You know Katie obviously is very self-conscious about her weight because she's made a lot of comments like what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what,

what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what would be maybe not to call her Bubba all the time. She obviously has a complex. Stop calling her Bubba. Hey Bubba, are you calling me fat? No, no Bubba. Yes you are. No, no Bubba. Stop that. There's no fatter name than Bubba.

So stop calling, that's what she should really be saying. Fuck all this stuff about Ariana. She should be telling Tom stop calling me Bubba Jesus So Stasi and Shay Are having their second wedding anniversary. She didn't she didn't she Oh, sorry, and she was very alarming. Yeah, although I I would say Stasi needs a shade just a silent man To just kind of be around you know, but she and she is their second anniversary So they go on an anniversary dinner while everyone's party and she looks miserable

She does look miserable. She's like he's from summer from month. I'm like so happy to celebrate with him Hey, Shay, I got you a present as pictures of me Yeah, it's a boot war book. Where I know how strangely it must be to not be near our photo to canvas room. So here, it's like a portable photo to canvas room. But it's me. And I've got these blown up in the printer conversation

which was cut and filled them on the thick. They make up our entire garage door now. I found this really cool company that does print We'll just cut them for them on the suitcase. They make up our entire garage door now. Mwah! I found this really cool company that does print a canvas to Food War Buck. It's really great. Shay could not, he was like, oh, cool. This is great.

That is awesome. And then his burger arrived. He was like, oh, cool. Great. This is awesome. Oh, God. She's like, I didn't think like a yorko like we'd already been on the spot. It's like, when I get annoying the air in the studio,

I think, wow, isn't that better than him being drunk on a bar or something, but like he's a studio. That's great, I'm so proud of you. And he's like, yeah, well, I got to where I was because of you. And I'm more in love with you than I happen in my entire life. I'm more in love with you than I happen and my entire life I'm losing reviews the worst thing that could ever happen

She goes my answer is hard work. It's not like you can just break up and move out And I like it could just like empty out a bank account and leave leave leave your wife, you know And then she has like that's okay chairs. I don't care if it's bad luck to cheers with waters, well, you should bitch, cause you're breaking up. You broke yourself up after you cheers with that water. That's what you did. You cursed it. Also just seen us saying like, it's bad luck to cheers to waters, such a mess.

Oh, the guy's trying so hard to stay sober. That's bad luck, but I guess since you're not drinking. Oh, she probably blames the scene for her entire divorce. I know I should do cheers with the waters. Oh, well, you know, it's also bad luck to stay in the room without printing canvas up your wedding. So this whole childhood, I'm kind of roomed to press. So back at the party, she and she and she arrived while they're all having hurricane

Tomcat drinks and to Britain is like, how about they say it'll bring for the girls to their shop scene. Look, these big plastic candy rings and yeah, who's who asks Zaryana, like, do you feel weird? Like, you have to go between two tables. So yeah, I mean, she basically comes over to the girls to chat and Stasi of course gets infuriated by this. She's like, of course, Ariana has to do something alternative.

I'm like, ooh, that alternative lifestyle of walking from one table to another. Ooh, look at her. Breaking boundaries, talking to girls, but then talking to boys, but then talking to girls again. That's crazy. That's fine.

No one believes in Fama-Bal-Thom. It's Looner. Could you be a feminist on the month of my wedding? So Tom and Katie are talking, and Tom's like, oh, Tom number one in Katie. Yeah, this is Katie talking to Tom Tandoval. And she's venting to him. Right. Here we go again with her.

Yeah. All he says is, how you doing? How they going? You pulled this wedding together so fast Katie right on and then she goes Yeah, she basically She's she's starts going off about Lala. She can't believe that Ariana defended Lala Like how could you do that yada yada yada then times like well when Lala first came to serve and Katie's like I'm not gonna listen to this.

Oh, that's your problem. You don't listen to the other side. You just get mad that there is another side. Cause she knows she's wrong. She opens up this conversation. 90% of the reason we fight is tension amongst the friends. Like my bridal shower, Erie Ghana, no, no, no, no, no, no.

So he comes to her. He wants. Nine out of 10 dentist agree that that's the reason I'll be fighting. Now you're just like quoting oral B commercial. That's not fair. She wants unwavering loyalty from her boyfriend. But when Tom sticks up for his girlfriend,

she's totally pissed off. You see what a hypocrite this bitch is? Like it makes me crazy. So she goes to the boyfriend of Ariana to bitch about her right after she's demanding loyalty. And she's like, this me crazy. So she goes to the boyfriend of Ariana to bitch about her right after she's demanding loyalty. And she's like, this is Ariana. And so he's like, well, the chief first came, like, so what? You didn't confront her about blow jobs, et cetera. And she's like, but everyone hated her. Why is it just me who's in trouble? Because you're the one who keeps bringing it up.

Yeah. Just leave it alone, bitch. Exactly. Meanwhile, Schwartz is talking to Ariana, and he's basically like, yeah, well, Katie, she's never even remembers the fights, because she's such a drunken loser. You know what I'm saying? And so then Katie, so then Katie, she once again does this pity party thing

where she's like, I didn't come all the way to New Orleans, just have our issues thrown in my face. Yeah. So just beads, just beads. So Tom, too, comes over. And she's like, when are we going to have fun? He's like, we are having fun, blah, blah, aren't we? She's like, well, Tom thinks we need therapy.

So I didn't come all the way here to be told I need therapy. And blah, he's like, blah, blah't come all the way here to be told I need therapy and blah. He's like, blah, blah, come back. Baba, baba, baba. And then Chris, this is me fighting really hard for you to come back and socialize with me. Oh, well, she's not coming back. Don't go.

Don't go. Oh, oh, oh, well. She's gone. She's gone. She's gone. She's like, no, I'm only five feet away. Oh, it's nothing I can do. I guess I just have to hang out with the boys

rest the night. I'm right here, Tom. I like that they cut straight to Christian and Stasi going, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, they go. Just a super cut of everyone on the show. If their faces were noise, it would be that sound. So speaking of going back to LA, we do have, we, we go back to where Gigi has taken, she's fully taken over the mantle left behind by Lala because now Gigi has decided to put some makeup on. And James, Ken, And James Kennedy has shown up for his, it was after the,

it was actually after the white party. He's shown up to talk to Lisa and Gigi's giving him like the nastiest looks. And she's like, do you have a reservation because we're booked up? I'm sorry Gigi. I appreciate the bitchiness, but you are no Lala. I know Lala. I serve with Lala. You, my friend, are no Lala. You are no Lala, ma'am. But then James says, so James goes off with Lisa and he's like, oh yeah, your hostess, since very lovely, very polite, I wonder how she's the customers. He's been. And Lisa's like, well, she doesn't sleep with all of them, which is one positive thing.

That's new. She does have a two-serial name, though. Doesn't she, James James? Where's Cha-Cha? Ah, and then James goes, but I wasn't smashing with Smushy Trollface. Ooh, he does have a way with words, does he not? I think he's just been around those ice creams too long. Just everything is turning into a Ben and Jerry's name.

Smushy troll face, it's a new flavor. Everything but that. I wasn't smashing with that, everything but that. One sweet word. The dead Matthew's flavor. Isn't that good, good? Don't you like a dead Matthew's flavor? Well, perhaps you enjoy fish food. Yeah, girl.

Yeah, girl. So I'm not her chubby hobby. I'll tell you that much, girl. It's like some Chevy Garcia girl. Also, second Ben and Jerry's of the day. We're a day. Heart dogs and Ben and Jerry's. It's Valentine's. It's Valentine's. So James, he's like, I'm just here to talk about the night of the party, darling. And then they cut to a clip of the night behind the party.

And he's like pressing play on iTunes while his stupid girlfriend is like, yeah. Like standing behind the pizza of him. I'll take a seat. Yeah, take a seat, lady. She's annoying me. So he basically wants his job back. And she's like, no, no, darling. What's happening in your life? It's like things are going great. Oh, that's wonderful. How many nights are you working? He's like, oh so many whether this Friday and

Then Saturday, I don't do anything Sunday or kind of Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Monday Monday, nope, Tuesday, Wednesday, we're basically two-ish nights. Two nights, two nights. You know, I mean, I don't know, does it count if I play music while I watch Willough Fortune? Is that count is a night of work? Because I am working, trying to get those words right, because I'm getting really good at that show. I heard the fact that when you come home the other day I was behind my Chinese screen. I heard him come home and I thought he might like some Barbara right now.

So I played him some Barbara. That was a Wednesday. That was work. That was me. It was a white Kanye West is back. Doesn't matter who said it. Just remember where you heard it Trying not to remember that and so he's trying to get it start back and she's like no He's like, but I would really like it back

She's what part of no-tent you understand James James No, if you're sober for a year something like that if you've gone maybe a decade without hitting a woman hostess Possibly but in air come on telling I mean maybe then but I can tell you at least I'm not saying never, which was my intention. And he's like, well, all right, I don't want to waste any of your time, Lisa. She's like, well, you've taken your wasted a lot of my time in the past, James. He's like, all right. We'll say hello to Max for me, your son who I'm friends with, just say hi yourself.

Oh God. I guess I'll just go back just say hi yourself. Oh God. I guess I'll just go back to my residency now at Cleo. I should have a resident, please sir. Congratulations on all the sick people you're helping with your doctor ship residency, darling. That's right, I'm Dr. DJ. Now get that fuck out.

So, Brittany and Jack's are talking, I mean, Brittany and Stasi are talking and Stasi's like, yeah, this is what, like I needed, like just to forget things, you know, and have a vacation and forget that I'm single. They're also by the way very good. Yeah. And Brittany's like,

Oh, I'm so sorry. And that did you hear about that, K being tall. Whatever. And Jack's comes over thinking this is gonna be a really fun little conversation, which doesn't really work out. No, it really worked out that way. He's basically like, hey, I think he probably gets nervous anytime, Stasi and Bruneer are alone together.

He knows he has to break that up. So he joins in and Stasi's like, I'm just like, you know, like, you're just like kissing your girlfriend right in front of me. And I'm like, single and like, how could you not, how could you not respect that? I mean, especially because like, you're sort of the one who broke us up

because Patrick didn't want to be around you. He didn't want to see you, okay? So we never came by and that drove like a wedge between us. Jack has done the worst things that a person could do to another human to me. He has done like the worst possible things ever. Please name them. Please name them because fucking your friend on the couch is pretty bad. I mean, that is pretty bad. But the one that a human could do. Well, when Ronnie says, please name them, he literally means that there is an unnamed baby somewhere in Vegas that needs a name. Like literally, please name this baby. But you know, though, believe it or not, Jack's was the voice of

reason. Every now and then, Jack's is a voice of reason, and I always find it to be both sort of disarming and refreshing, because basically, what Stasi was saying is that the reason why we never saw this guy is that he didn't want to see Jack's. I guess maybe he's gonna punch him or something or he just hated him or whatever. But Jack's is like, listen, if a man loved you, he's using that as a cop out.

And he's right. That was a total excuse. Yeah, and how often does she even have to see Jack? That's not what she broke up with him. I mean, they've been fighting fight and fight. No, it's what he never came around. Patrick was saying that he didn't want to come around because he didn't want to see Jack's. I don't think so.

I think he just didn't want to be on a reality show. He felt like an asshole, you know? Maybe he had some skeletons in his closet and maybe he was afraid that if by going on a reality show Suddenly everything was are coming out. Yeah, well, she just needed you know, so she just That's me doing a Kenny and more Adding total like a total like just throwing something out there now making you the thing. I'm like although with that That's the reason now that will be the reason in my head from now on.

I shall repeat it 5,000 times. Yes, he was a murderer. Yeah, basically. He killed Nicole Simpson. Oh my God. I always knew. The glove fits. It's Stasi dated the murderer of Nicole Simpson.

Yes. White Ford Bronco hurt it here first. So Stasi basically is just upset. So she starts crying and she's like, it wouldn't mean everything to me. If you could just like shut up and say you're sorry, okay? And he's like, sorry for what? That was like six years ago. She's like, oh my God.

Do you know what you could do right now? Be more selfish. That's why. So Jack starts to apologize. You don't get it. You don't get it. You don't get it. You don't get it. You don't get it. You don't get it you don't gotta, you don't gotta, you don't gotta, you don't gotta, you don't gotta. One thing that Jack's, one thing that Jack does know, does get, as he knows when he's on the hot seat,

he knows how to say whatever he can say just to get out of it. Yeah, so he just, so he's so, so I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was a dick, I was a total fuck up, I was a piece of shit, and now he's sort of crying, but not Tom Sand of all my am shit, and that was sort of crying. But not Tom Sand of all my Ami crying, he just sort of... Sort of... Oh, damn. So, Stasi is happy with it, and she's like, thank you.

I needed that, thank you. Meanwhile, Brittany is over there with her big plastic stop ring twirling it like crazy. Like, this ring This ring. Let's go. What the hell's happening right there? And so it seemed at the moment. I thought it was actually a nice moment It seemed like okay, well, there's some closure resolution and then saucy leaves and then all of some bringing like Now how come you can't apologize to me you hurt me too. What about me? What about me? He's like, no, but I like really hurt hers. Well, you hurt me too.

Okay. How about that dick pic? Okay. There's a dick pic and that time that you yelled at me about turkey sandwich. What about the potch for that? I'm like, Britney, uh. What about that time you threw your flip flop at my head

because I forgot to put mustard on turkey sandwich. What about that? What about that time you told me we're gonna eat some shark and turn out to be shark cutie to re. Okay. How about that? How about that? How about that? What about that? Jack's that we're gonna eat some shark and turn out to be shark cuterie. Okay. How about that? I was all that. I said on my face and farted on me. What about that?

What about that, Jack? That hurt. He's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, he's like, he's like, uh, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, uh, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like a fight. And she's like name one. And he's like, look, this is different. She's like, what ever? She just walks away. He's the worst. Yeah, I mean, I think I have to point out that Jackson has done that apology to Stasi like 10 times.

I think he's just going to have to do that once a year. Yeah. It was kind of a funny argument because the stuff that he was apologizing to Stasi for was like really, really bad hideous stuff. And if Brittany thinks that this turkey sandwich business is bad, which it is bad, he did some disrespectful things to her, but she is lucky that she has not had to deal with the shit that Jackson's done to pretty much everyone else, at least not yet. So that's he knows he knows so just totally different because

Stasi and Jack's relationship was totally different. I mean, Stasi was evil as well. I mean, I was talking about how I was watching season one recently and to see them together is so weird because it feels like a zillion years ago. But and also their faces are like totally different. But they're, they're awful to each other the whole time. And when Jackson was accused of cheating, even though all the guys knew it was true, like they must have known, you know, everyone chose Jackson's side against Stasi because Stasi was so evil. Like they were sick of, so sick of her by the end of that season. They all totally turned on her. So that was a little bit different. I mean, the Jackson Brittany stuff,

yeah, he's like still a misogynist pig. But as far as we know, he's not off banging waitresses and getting people pregnant in Vegas. And she's not, you know, threatening to cut his throat and whatever else Stasi was doing. So can't compare him. But I did love watching Brittany get all feisty, you know? Yeah. Well, they're all drunk. All drunk and feeling emotions and wanting to want to have

some sort of special something. Another. Well, what about sandwiches? Hello, well, at that comparison. Stasi's like, excuse you. Yeah. Okay, everybody. Well Well that brings us to the end of pump rules We will be back tomorrow with a little bit of reader housewives of the Beverly Hills And then on Thursday is Atlanta. I know a lot of people were we did a little bit of a bait and switch because on Monday We started the episode being like what what do we want to talk about first Atlanta or top chef and then we're like top chef And then like you know what we're not gonna do a lands today at the end So sorry for the bait and switch, but we haven't had Lance episode coming up on Thursday with Maritum Edison.

Yes. And it's a good one. It's a good one. Okay, everybody, thank you so much. We will talk to you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members.

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