Watch What Crappens - #400 TopChef: One Day You're Mayan, The Next Day You're Out

Episode Date: February 28, 2017

It's our 400th episode!! And what better way to celebrate than by recapping one of Bravo's best and oldest shows - "Top Chef"? Ben and Ronnie break down every detail of this season's penultimate episode -- from the birds to the tamales. There are only three finalists left. Whose cuisine will reign supreme? Thanks for making 400 episodes breeze by. Here's to 400 more! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode is sponsored by our premium Patreon subscribers Madonna Hines with a sexy J

Chrissy D'Awardy and Mia Hanson Aloha! Thanks! To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows shows as they air come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap ends and to follow us on social media go to watch our crap ends dot com to find all our social media links and for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what crap ends. The podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from B side blog.com and the banter blender.

There is a new episode of the banter blender up everyone. Go to iTunes. And joining me is a wonderful hilarious fellow podcaster, fellow creative type, fellow luminary. Well, I don't know if I'm a luminary, but he certainly is. It's Ronnie Caram from trashtalktv.com and Rose Prick's bachelor podcast

and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills audiobooks. Also found on iTunes. Well, hello, Ben. Hi Ronnie, happy Monday. Look at us. Happy Monday, Ben. Look at the, we've made it to the end of February already. Isn't that amazing? Oh my goodness. 28 days. It always reminds me of that horror movie.

I know. Or that rehab movie. Yeah. Sandra Bullock. Yeah. If you can keep a plant alive for a month, then you can get a dog. And if you can keep a dog alive for a month, then you can get a baby. And if you can keep a baby alive for a month and you can get a baby and if you can keep a baby alive for a month You get to win a hot guy to marry at the end I'll always one of my favorite jokes from the American office was when Pam told Jim Yeah, I thought I was settling in for that Sandra Bullock movie and it was the scariest night of my life or something like that I was thinking that But now 27 days later here we are

I was thinking that. But now 27 days later, here we are, watch our crap ends. We are here today to kick off the week with the penultimate episode of Top Chef. But before we get into that recap, guess what? Guess what happened this month, Ronnie? You know what? So many things happened in February.

There was a Super Bowl. There were the Oscars just last night. But someone celebrated a birthday. Did you know this? Oh my god, who was that? Well, it's a little belated, but her name is Cindy Bernacki with a sexy ass, and you know what, she gets a happy belated motherfucking birthday. Happy birthday, Cindy Bernacki.

Happy birthday, Cindy. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Cindy Bernacki. Happy birthday, Batch. Happy birthday, Batch. Happy birthday, Glad it's your birthday. Glad it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Beth. I'm your birthday, Beth. We were not gonna lie.

Your sister gave us the tip off. So give your sister an extra hug if you can. Because she was the one who was like, who got this all to happen. Got your birthday to happen. Definite sister hugs. Yeah, big sister hugs. Yeah big sister hugs big hugs Everyone in the crap in this community give Cindy a virtual hug

Raise a glass to her Do something So yeah happy birthday Cindy thanks for being a listener and thanks everyone for being a listener We have like been in the top five on iTunes for two weeks straight and it's amazing. So thanks everyone Thank you everybody. Yeah, I think should we just get into top chef? Is there anything else?

Any other? Yeah, look, do it. So, you're so modulating we need to do. Okay, great. So guys. Oh yes, actually there is some more. Go listen to me over on Rose Pricks. I do that with Stephanie Wilder Taylor and it's so fun.

We've been having so much fun with the season. So go listen to it. And then the real housewives of Beverly Hills, audiobooks are getting really fun Taylor and it's so fun. We've been having so much fun with the season so go listen to it. And then the real housewives of Beverly Hills, audiobooks are getting really fun because that show is gone pretty wacky. Yeah. And I guess everyone just don't forget we have an Instagram account now. Yeah. Okay. Silling done. Silling done. Okay. Now what? In Top Chef. Top Instagram account. Yeah. Top Chef wow so we're we're getting into it now.

It's we're down to our final three. It's Sheldon. It's Brooke. It's Charlie. Surely I'm so crazy everyone says it. Top chef, love this show. You know, sometimes I watch Top Chef, and that's when I started recapping at Yule TV guys and back in the day. And I recapped a couple of seasons of it, and then we've been talking about it on this show for years. And sometimes I sit down to watch Top Chef, and I think there is nothing we could possibly say about this show.

Like, they literally did nothing, but like cook and talk about very dour things. But then it always works out great. And I have a feeling that today is the same way because for some reason I still took 19,000 pages of notes. So I did not take 19,000 pages of notes because I don't go as note-heavy with this show. But if you're new to Crappens, one thing that you will learn is if we ever start a podcast being like, well, there's not that much to talk about

on this week's episode. That means our podcast episode is gonna be twice as long as usual, because when we are given less material, we somehow generate more than there should be. So. Yeah, it's kind of like certain signs. Like when you watch Top Chef and someone's talking

on the phone to their family, usually that meant they're kicked off that episode. They've kind of like certain signs. Like when you watch Top Chef and someone's talking on the phone to their family, usually that meant they're kicked off that episode. They've kind of changed it up because we figured, you know, the world figured it out. But there are other signs. Like this episode opens with Sheldon, who's like, I couldn't have asked for a better three, final three, I really respect them so much.

And I was like, oh, no, that's not a good sign. Well, the funny thing is because this episode only had three people on it, they had to fill the hour with random moments of reflection. Like every two minutes, someone was reflecting on something or someone was feeling like the odd one out or someone was saying how they're gonna lose and the other two are gonna win. So I spent pretty much the entire time saying things like, that's a foreshadowing moment. They're foreshadowing, she's going home. I mean, I was like on the edge of my seat the entire time

until I knew that Shirley was safe, spoiler alert. That was just trick after trick after trick. Yeah, because it opened up pretty much with Shirley being like, you know, I feel like I'm the underdog because they're a team Seattle. And I'm just, you know, I'm just the underdog. I'm like, that's what John said. Oh, no, Shirley's going home.

I'm the underdog because they all only nice to each other I thought Brooke was closer with Shirley. It seems like she is well They kept on changing like every two minutes. They've made a case for why one person was not you know Sheldon was like yeah, you know I've gotten this far, but you know they're really close. I was like okay Well, Sheldon's flying and then Brooke will be like I just I, I don't have a vision. And I'm like, okay, well, Brooks flying, I could not get it together. Yeah, Brooks, one of those, you never know, because sometimes when

she doesn't have a vision, she puts out like peanut butter par face. And then sometimes she makes the most brilliant thing ever. So you can really never tell, like, Brooke is one of the most consistently down people I've ever seen. Even in this, she's like, I'm so excited to be back here. Well, she, I mean, she also had one of those scary foreshadowing moments in the beginning of the episode because she's like, I just, I feel like I'm ready to go far. I'm really ready to go far.

I was like, Brooke, you're literally jingling yourself right now. Why would you ever say that on TV that you feel ready to go far? That means you are going to be eliminated at this moment. Yeah, in a horror movie, that's where you run out of gas and then get murdered on the side of the road. Yeah. You know, have you ever seen a police action movie? You know, like your one day away from retirement and you make an announcement about it, that means you get shot and killed, brook. That's like every police drama ever. But also you have to be like really hard drinking and have a bad temper. I feel like I would really by the way enjoy watching a police buddy comedy with Brooke and Shirley. You know, where Shirley would interrogate and Brooke would spend all the time like sniffing the evidence and seeing how fresh it is. Serly would be both the good cop and the bad cop.

What were you doing down the street? Oh, you look so cute on that street. What were you doing? Did you steal? You could tell me. And broke would be like, I had the most amazing slice of watermelon this morning for breakfast and I realized, Petaluma's the killer. Oh, bro. That glaze donut was amazing.

It's Richard Glaze. You did it. The labry. That glaze donut was amazing. It's Richard Glaze who did it. The library. She's sort of like house MD. Co-nourage detective. It was parfait. Okay, so let's see what happens here. Guadalajara is where we are right now. And then they, we get Shirley's memory.

She's like, last time I was on here, I was number three. And mom said, now you can just be on TV and you don't have to cook, right? I was like, you know what? Are there any supportive parents on the show? No. Like, is there one parent who's ever been like, I am so proud of you for being a chef. You're doing great. You just keep cooking.

And why are so many parents not proud of their kids for being chefs? I think that'd be a great thing. I would love it if my kid were chef, because then I'd have like great meals made for me by my kids And they would never be there like you would never have to see them because just work like 13 hours a day, you know I think there's clearly sorry no no no go ahead I really didn't have anything to say. I was just opening my mouth. That's how I wrote I became suddenly very timid to say I was just opening my mouth. That's how I wrote. I became suddenly very timid. I mean, obviously there is some sort of link here between the unsupportive parents leading to the heroin and the tattoos leading to shrewd. Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say maybe they just

watch top chef and they're like, oh my god, are you a heroin addict? No, mom, just a chef. Are you sure? It's not drugs? Why do you have a tattoo of like duck liver on your palms? This is how I raised you. Well, maybe these parents just know they're like, well, this kid isn't going to go very far in terms of academics. So why don't I just disapprove of everything until they get a heroin habit and then save themselves by going on top chef?

My mother would be so happy if I had a heroin addiction. She'll be like, finally, you found a diet that worked. Now, what are you going to get a tattoo of a spoon on your forearm? I always wanted you to be an artist, but since you can't and glad you at least could pay somebody to do it on your knuckles for you. Now, let's talk about those salt and pepper shake or tramp stamps you got going on back there. Life is like salt and pepper, you know.

It needs to be salty, it needs to be spicy, but it always has to be seasoned shut up. Katie Maloney's all standing behind it. You know, she knew it was in my dream last night. I feel like, you know, I wasn't gonna mention it, but I had a dream that I got Indian food with Shina and someone else. I forget who the other person was.

And while we were getting Indian food, Shina's car got towed away. Actually, even scarier, it was Lisa Timons. It started off as Lisa Timons, but you know how dreams do that thing where people suddenly just like change. And Lisa Timons turned into Shina because Lisa Timons ran out to the parking lot. I thing where people suddenly just like change. And Lisa Timins turned into Sheena, because Lisa Timins ran out to the parking lot.

He was like, what's going on in my car? And we went around to parking lot at a Sheena. And she was like, my car, I was stolen. It's great dream. Steve Fincina, no one wants your beat up Honda Civic. Sheena, okay. I can't believe my car. I'm like a zoo's on motor sports.

I can't believe my car, I get turned on the week of Katie's wedding. Good. Son, sub-a. Yes, civil. Yeah. Oh, see, man. So let's see. Guadalajara.

Oh, wait, where did they go? They went to the Yucatan. Oh, the Yucatan. Yucatan. And they went snorkeling where we got to see. You know, they went to the secrets, Akumeral, Resortes Fund, Akumeral, the Yucatan.

I'm going to call it parrots for everyone. Yeah, I don't know if any of these people are really Mexican. They're just like speak with a very thick accent. The secret is Akumeral, Betkan. Torranto, la vincora, tanto. They're like, so wait, what's the crazy. Come on, Bert. Come on. Torrant. The link. I found them.

They're like, so wait, what's the challenge? Did you mean to be a Mexican stereotype? There was also a snorke. They also was like a montage, a snorkeling montage because they're like, okay, well, we have like five minutes to fill. Let's just like get some footage of Shelton with a shirt off swimming amongst fish. And all of Brooks tattoos. Brooks got a ton of tattoos. Yeah, she does. She's really got that chef bad asteris just kind of hidden under all of her clothes, which,

you know, I think is like a good place to do that. When you just want all the tattoos in the world, but you're like, wait a minute, I have a kid. I don't know. I don't want to get old and everybody be looking at these tattoos. So I'm just going to put one like around my ribcage on my side. Make sure the, make sure the tattoo of the picnic, picnic cut of the pork is just on my ribcage. You don't want to see it. I really like that when they get to this resort. You know, because chefs are, chefs are, share, share is a blue collar worker.

Chefs are blue collar workers, you know. And so our share is too. Remember when she showed up wearing all denim at the Super Bowl? So I like how impressed they are by the resort. And she'll then say, whoa, am I in a Jay Z video or something? Let me get my mean coat and pop some bottles. I would love a Jay Z videos who are really like that. He's like, how am I back? He's just Jay Z carrying a trip of noodles. Jay Z doing a quick fire challenge. I love that video. Was that for

each of the iso? Q to the iso, you to the iso. I do. After the iso. I was also really impressed with the brook because she's one of the people that really understands what it's like to leave your kid when she comes on a reality show. She says top chef is the last four years of her life. And she's like, it's also the most selfish thing

I've ever done. I leave my work. They have to do everything. Then I leave my family. But it's also the most selfish thing I've ever done. Like, I leave my work, they have to do everything. Then I leave my family. But it's been like good therapy to me. I think that means you should quit work and your baby. Good. I did bring this toy dinosaur. Sort of reminds me of my kid.

So they eventually show up for the Quick Fire Challenge. And here, I want to do an impersonation of the Quick Fire Challenge You you be Padma introducing everyone saying hello to everyone The birds were so loud There was so loud that even Padma was like wow these, these birds are loud. Like, who told the birds they could talk right now? Did you mean to chirp that loudly? Did you mean to invite two cans Sam to the quick fire challenge? This challenge will be about me.

Sorry, I interrupted your joke with a bird joke. I didn't have one. I just like that she says. This challenge will be about heat and bricks like, but it's already hot. What could that possibly mean? Yeah, those are terrifying birds. They're all like the Shirley versions of birds. My mommy said I was a crazy beam of tree all the time Did you see plan sorry Did you see planet Earth? Two? No. No.

And well, planet Earth two actually premiered on... Actually, we should totally for maybe next week's bonus episode. We should totally do planet Earth to recap because I think it'd be really funny to recap the animals. But planet Earth two premiered last week. I didn't even know until Friday, it premiered on Thursday, but it was on demand. And there was like a lot of bird calling,

there were a lot of bird moments on the episode. So they were, there were a lot of Shirley birds there. That's all. One thing we'll never recap, that dog movie, where it's like the dog, have you seen the, they keep showing the previous for that movie and I wanna kill that movie. Is like the dog. Have you seen the pre that keeps showing the previews for that movie and I want to kill that. Is that the dog's purpose?

Like a dog's life. Yeah, dogs meaning or whatever. And it's like, oh, I'm a dog and I talk in my head. And I'm with the same little boy through multiple lives. Like you're a dog. I'm like, if if Chris Yal is not involved, I don't want to see something.

Now talk that's not supposed to talk talking in a Ted Okay, so planet earth doesn't have like the the animals that talk in their heads. We did you ever see the original planet earth? No, okay girl. You have to watch plan well, you don't have to watch planet earth But you would really enjoy it, but but planet earth every time I leave my house I'm like gross and then I come back'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like bird the Gale Eye. As in, the eye she gives a Gale. When Gale tries to show up and look pretty,

and Pam is like, mmm, did you forget that I'm the supermodel here? Did you mean to wear a tablecloth, bird? Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe We can always feed her to the birds. It was I call them loud gals. So she's like, I would like to welcome our guest judge, the anthropology of Mexican. I was like, where is his like crystal doorknob and his like beautiful sweater patch me nothing because you know, I love it trip through anthropology. I hate anthropology. I love it. It's up I hate anthropology. I love it.

It's up high ceilings. And I like how there's always a tree with glitter ornaments all over it. I always feel like everything in there is very lavender and silver. It is. Lots of florals, lots of loose sweater. They're the kind of place that makes sweaters, but with big holes, it's a very loosely stitched sweater. Does this actually keep anybody warm ever? Who would buy this?

What did Thomas purchase ever? I think someone told me that anthropologies actually the number two cookbook seller. I think maybe behind Barnes Noble or Amazon or something like that, they sell a huge amount of cookbooks, which is sort of surprising, because you don't think of cookbooks there, but they always have them scattered around scattered around and sure a lot of people just pick them up That's only damn time you're gonna see Ina in that store. Mm-hmm

You know I know I'm so pissed off for I know right now. Like what do you mean? You don't have my size and loose sweaters? So anyway, so this guest judge I forgot his name, but he's so he had like a very, very thick accent, but one of those accents with the ours are like, like that. If you ever went to the Garnts Attachico here in Los Angeles, while it was still a lot still open, the waiter's of tax closed. Yeah, close in December. Isn't it awful? I mean, it wasn't very good. Let's be honest. I went there recently and I was like, not good,

but there to go was very good. It was different. They had a whole menu, not to go, but delivery. They had a whole different menu for delivery. It was not amazing food, but it was actually very satisfying food. And every time I went went there it was always a great time. It's only about the environment and those weird wine margaritas. You just emerge drunk and just having the best time ever. Yeah, getting five courses, that's nice too. Yeah, and the way I actually... And the way I actually... The way I actually... The way I actually... The way I actually... The way I actually... The way I actually... The way I actually... The way I actually... The way I actually... The way I actually... The way I actually... The way I actually... shit. So the waiters, the thing with this restaurant for people who had never been there was that the waiters would recite the menu to you. And they'd always say

like this like salantro, salantro chicken with a sauce that tastes like it was born in it. It's like the famous line that like everyone knows they always recite it. So this guy's out on like a guards attach go waiter even though it tastes like afterbirth. Thanks. Sounds delicious. now please bring on the beggars and then the Mary Archie band comes over and they're like I yeah yeah yeah and they will not leave until you give them money I'm like you all need a square machine because I don't care where I carry a red one and if the girls got to do it you can do it to serve exactly serves so anyway so this judge was like you're going to use the Habanero

Right there to do a habanero it is iconic ingredient from the Yucatan For the citrusy and hot Abanero Pepper and the face of the earth being bred for 6000 years So they're like, okay, cool. So they had to get their ingredients from the local market. A lot of foods. Yeah.

So the thing is that Brooke actually can speak Spanish and Shirley seemed to sort of make where it was back. But Sheldon really struggled with the language barrier here. And all he was looking for was some Kaiso fresco, and he just could not find it for the life of him. Yeah, he just needed some cheese, and nobody knew what it was,

and then they kept ignoring him because he didn't know what it was. Because he really actually, I mean, out of all of them, he looks the most Hispanic. Yeah, exactly. They're probably like, who is this Latino, who doesn't know how to speak let's speak Spanish We're just gonna ignore this ridiculousness. Yeah, where's your mother who raised you? Yeah, I should mention at this point on my TV Little thing came up that said Gail Simmons and Dale Earnhardt Jr. And to watch what happens close

As later on tonight. I was like Gail Simmons is getting paired with Dale Earnhardt Jr. What is happening on Bravo? Where Gail Simmons never getting paired with Dale Earnhardt Jr. What is happening on Bravo? Where Gail Simmons never wins. Never. Oh my God. Never. Cut the woman a break. I know. Was she in a busy? No, I know. Did you mean to wear a tablecloth?

I love sheena doing Padma. So then Shirley was, I don't, Shirley was talking about how she, I love she doing Padma. So then Shirley was I don't surely was talking about how she I love this she's talking about jalapeno peppers She's talking about heat and she's like yeah, you know, sometimes if I'm tired I buy into a jalapeno pepper to wake up. That's all I wake up. I buy jalapeno pepper I was like you're a crazy woman You're feeling adrenaline like because you're having a heart attack Shirley You the coke have it like a normal chef. What is wrong with you?

Sometimes Sometimes I bite into jalapeno and then jump out the mouth Like what what happens first what causes what? How many ankles did you break as a child because you were just taking little bites of jalapenos She just has her own version of the X Games going on She's just has her own version of the X Games going on. Just doing her own thing. So Shirley's addicted to dumplings this season. I think she's trying to recreate her cheeseburger dumpling or whatever.

So she's gonna make a mosa dumpling, which actually sounds good, but also very difficult. I don't know how that's gonna stay together. This is not very easy to just like wrap around something. I actually had a mosa dumpling on Friday night Because I went to I think I was mentioning the last week of the podcast I went to broken Spanish which as the restaurant by last weeks Guess judge Roy Garcia Roy or Ray Garcia. I don't remember and the mosa dumpling was delicious

It was sort of a component of like a larger dish, but it works starting it works Starling yeah, it sounded good. I love somasa. So let's see, when they, oh yeah, I just wrote Habanero, surely addicted to Habanero, LL. Yeah. Also, we should mention that Sheldon in his pursuit of queso, fresco, he gets or Blanco, he was pointed to these, these ladies outside who were making tamales. And they were even like tamale and jump and say, oh, okay, he's like, it was wrapped up. So I thought, maybe there's cheese inside. Tamales is the same word in English. He's like, they just kept saying hatah hatah hatah hatah and it turned out to be a hatah.

It's crazy. Why didn't you also open up the tamale and see what was in the inside? It's like the least surprising twist ever. But that's tamale was a tamale. It was so seldom. It was cute. He's like, I thought it was going to be cheese wrapped in a banana leaf. It turns out. It was a tamale's like, I thought it was going to be cheese wrapped in a banana leaf. It turns out.

It was a tamale. Was it tamale? Those stem tamale ladies, I can't believe they would do me like this. It's like that part in that J.Z. video where he opens the box thinking it's going to be a diamond, but it's a tamale. Sheldon was doing Lala Win's best picture. Lala, I'm going to be a picture, but it's a tamale. It's a little bit of a sheldon. Sheldon was doing Lala Win's best picture. Lala, I'm going to be a picture way before that happened. And it's cheese. Oh no, sorry.

There's been a mistake. It's a tamale. So stupid. That was amazing by the way. It was. So he decided that he's going to just go with it and use the tamale for his squash filling. It's Molly stuff squash.

Oh, it's like inception at that point. It's a squash stuff with a tamale. It's a dream. It's like the Yucatan is upside down now. So then we get blender drama. Brooks, I can't open this blender. It's so hot. I am sweaty This is what they meant when they said hot. It's actually hot It's like well at least someone describes something to you correctly in this town

Well, you can also tell that the producers really needed to fill time because this blender drama This was the arc of the blender drama. Oh my God, I can't open this blender. My hands are so sweaty. She'll open this for me. He's like, here you go. It's like, great. And then I put stuff in it and I couldn't open it again. But then I opened it. I was like, well, I can't wait to see the third act. When she closes the blender again and then it has difficulty opening it again. back when she closes the plunder again and then has difficulty opening it again. When she remembers that you can use a towel. So Padman, so Padman, the guest judge come in and they start tasting everybody's stuff,

you know, and Padman gets to, gets to him and he's like, well, I thought I was going to be cheese, but then, you know, I open it and it was a tamale. So I stuff, I stuff it into some squash, whatever. And Padma goes, what do you mean a tamale? You got it over there. Just like, are you, did you mean to be a complete idiot? You know that Gail isn't judging this, right? But he mean a tamale.

You know, you can't just stuff one person's cook dish into yours and say, it's yours, right? But do you mean a tamal? You know, you can't just stuff one person's cook dish in two years and say it's yours, right? Gal come eat this. I'm certainly made a tomato warm salt spinach chichero, poached the egg. That's what I wrote. So basically I have no idea. But I know that there was a pinched egg on it. Yeah, I wrote down masa dumpling with how banana roach it's your own. Yeah, I wrote a massive dumpling with happenero to you around Oh very good, but there were other components, but I was like I can't be bothered to write down all these components It just it looks good to many and they they'd list every little thing She's like and then that's a little It's a study of cilantro on top. I was lemon. That's true. I have to announce every damn thing

I was worried for Shirley because she was saying, I like spice. So I decided to put happenero seeds in the sauce. I was like, oh my God, you're going to kill them. But actually, they loved the sauce. It was Sheldon who was too spicy because the Chiba, he meant to have the cheese in there to cool it down, but instead he just had tamale. So the tamale apparently didn't cool it down enough and they were were, yes, tamales are hot. So that's a problem. There's a reason there's a reason why there's an expression hot tamale.

Because it's a delicious candy. I just like the thought of the camera being outside Patmos bathroom. Did you mean to give me a ring of fire? The birds. Someone please tell me I'll just shut up. Weird at all. Weird. All the birds go, oh, Pam is just taking a shit out back and it got serious. No, for bikini. Brooke is a Brooke, by the way, Brooke made a roasted pork loin with salsa and hikama and cucumber. Yeah. So the judge is like, uh, surely, I really like the dumpling. So can you please just say every line for the rest of the show. I love your beautiful accents. I also, if to anyone who has not watched top chef yet, um, or anyone

who feels like going back When you're watching the segment take note of the of the guest chef. He has tiny tiny tiny hands. It's adorable He's like brook It was wonderful to see somebody use porcloin Because pork is the White meat of the city of the birds Celebrate the birds and the Bork together in one.

We call it the Borkbird. It's like, well, there was no chicken. Oh, what are we? We'll be accidently. We'll be accidently. Accidently, caleante. Bikki. Accidently. Have you been re-arranted? I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, happy, wins the quick fire. She's the quick fire queen again. And then surely again, surely gets me so scared because surely goes, well, I have better record with elimination challenges.

I was like, oh, God, surely don't have hubris. That means you can get eliminated. Yes, quick fire queen, but I have better track back in a elimination challenge. So hopefully it continues that way. I was like, oh, my God. I know she didn't just call her the seaworthy So rude certainly who are you? You're the nice one So the elimination challenge Jeremiah Ballot I

Was actually just an old white dude so I don't know why I'm saying he was he reminded me of the sort of guy who has a private island that you come to thinking You're going to an island retreat and it turns out you're part of some sort of most dangerous game shit, you know Yeah Where suddenly you're fighting booby traps and other other guests to survive the weekend Yeah, everyone starts like getting killed one by one Yeah, I to me he was kind of like the the Harry Potter headmaster, you know, he's like oh Erie To me, he was kind of like the Harry Potter headmaster, you know, he's like, oh, Harry. He sort of looked like Jane Atkinson.

Oh my God. Do you know who Jane Atkinson is? No, but I just feel so bad for her right now. Well, the season of Carla's. I think it's the same as that. That guy. I think it's, yeah, Jane Atkinson. She is, I think she's a British, it's Jane Adkinson. She is, I think she's a British actress

who was on 24 and she just sort of appears in a lot of things like Suriyana and he was sort of like the male version of Jane Adkinson, which is a compliment if you ask me. He's like, guys, you can put this banana leaf on your head or wrap it to mall in it. It's a cute wacky, wacky guy. So they take them to this. Well, Brooke gets a boner. She's like, I am so starstruck, I grew up idolizing him. He's the founder of California

cuisine. So you know what, we owe him a big thanks because what they eat before him. I first saw this town has such a history of fitness. Oh my goodness. Um, yeah, so this guy was sort of like this breezy waspy dandy. Who came in? So first I'd like to shake everyone's hands. With my penis. So Padma was like, this is the home to the Mayan Empire. They're used to be a pyramid standing right here until Gell stood on it and it crumbled.

The ground. Yeah, by the way, like what a legacy for the Mayans. They're like, they're used to be a proud pyramid and now it's just a small, grassy thing that we cooked some food on with bird squawking. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares of our freshly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert-expert. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. It's great legacy for the mions. I want you to go back in time and create a dish cooked entirely over open flame. There will be no electric tools, but they did have obsidian, which is the sharpest stone in the world. So you get to keep your knives. Did you mean to use obsidian, Brooke?

I got a little piece of obsidian stuck in my teeth. It hurt. So Shirley is like, no, no, no, Blender. This is crazy. Then they all of a sudden hear a clatter and surely he's just jumped off the roof of the market. Oh, Tuma salapanho! So, uh, she starts naming all the guests. She's like, there will be eight guests tonight. Garico Baracanto! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just say eight guests and walk away, Padma. Okay, we don't have all day. Well, well, just say eight guests and walk away. Padma okay. We'll have all day

Yeah, so so before they this challenge because they're gonna be using Sort of That's the right phrase not olden times. It's like like ancient times ancient time cooking stuff they had to they went on like a little culinary tour with Jeremiah and the other guy was named Ricardo, I think, yeah, Ricardo. So they went basically someone's backyard. Yeah, they went on like this little anthropological tour where they learned about tomatillos and Jeremiah's like, you know, tomatillos are very acidic and looks like, yeah, I know I cook in California

that's how Matillo before. I understand tomatillos are very acidic and looks like, yeah, I know. I cook in California. That's how I'm a teo before. I understand tomatillos because I understand the man who created them. I love you, sir. I love you, sir. So they're looking around and one of the guys is like, look, this is leaf from tree. Put it on the head. It tastes delicious. They're like, is that a ficus?

Play the second. I kind of got the feeling that I was just fucking with them three parts. Yeah, I think you I think they were So at this point, I think surely was somewhere around here. She's like, you know, I really I'm like I feel ready and I've grown as a person I was like, oh The more she says the shit the more certain I am that she's going home Yeah, no one cares how much you've grown. Just make something good. Yeah.

Like it's not really about your personal growth. And I like to take it showing them like totally normal things that everybody has in their kitchen, but then they're reacting like they're crazy. Yeah. Like they showed them a piece. All of these like this is the most the most famous way to make an herb with a blah blah blah. It's like, uh, yeah, I have one of those. It's how I wish up the, yeah, it's like, it's so much. Yeah, yeah, but um, this is a mesa. It's like, that's a table.

Ronnie, you're being very rude, anthropological legacy of the Mayan Empire But I'm not gonna respect anthropology okay until they carry sweaters without holes of them in my size Like in second-day I feel like I feel like I'm gonna cook I feel like now would be a great time to mention that I recently bought a board game called Zolkin the the Mayan calendar, and it's a game that takes place in Mayan times, and it pertains to the Mayan calendar and it involves gears, and it is exceptionally fun. It is a wrecking game. And it is 2001, and all the clocks stop working.

Wouldn't it have been great if Maya was a guest judge on this challenge? I feel like that would have been a great tie-in Who's Maya exactly? Case of the X hello you ever see Chicago. Hello Yes, I saw Chicago. She was in Chicago. She's one of the whiskey cell block D girls whatever he had a comment He had a comment. He had a comment I feel bad that you don't remember who Maya is remember um Get a superstar. She was the

Oh, yeah, she's saying that Yes Oh, yeah, she's saying that. Yes. Did you mean to not move on? Did you mean to make an outdated pop culture a reference? Did you mean to hurt my feelings with the name of somebody I've never heard of before? I'm all you're right. Maya Rudolph does deserve more respect. Maybe they can have not the most hilarious.

Maybe they should have gotten a Maya from real world Hawaii. Should be like, here I am, don't mind me. I'm just dragging a brand new surfboard along the stone scratching it up. Seth, did you mean to cook something that Maya Angelou would never eat? chefs, did you mean to cook something that Maya Angelou would never eat? You know, there is a Maya Angelou cookbook. She could be a guest. If she was still alive, she could have been a guest for something. I can't imagine Maya Angelou cooking. Is that weird? She doesn't sound like a cook to me. She has a cookbook and because I found it in this like used bookstore in Chicago and I read through it and every recipe

Had this crazy preamble that was at once wonderfully written and also so hilarious like so exactly my angelouish you couldn't help but think it's hilarious You know like that there was an SNL commercial they once said it was like Maya Angelou's Tater Tots or something frozen foods. I forget what it was, but everything is very poetic and over the top explanation to go with it. And that's what the cookbook was like. The Thaya hits the metal. Did it hit it? Did it learn? That's exactly what it was. The air rises through, escapes through lid.

Like, are you boiling rice, my Anzaly, wait a second. I think I seem to remember, this was like three years ago, and I seem to remember taking screenshots and putting it on my Instagram. So if anyone wants to dig real deep on my Instagram, they'll find it there. So they go through this tour, whatever. And then they end up going to a swing bar, which sounds sexy, but it's like literally just swings at a bar, which, you know, it's very creative.

I was like, were they dancing swing? Yeah. Oh, we're at a swingers club. Like, no, it's just a swing. So, shall then this is where they start doing more of their backstory and we're at a swingers club. Like, no, it's just a swing. So, Shelton, this is where they start doing more of their backstory and where Shirley says, I grew up pressing. And Shelton's like, we all had to battle back. And here I am, I battled it back. And I didn't think I could do it because my back, they took battle back, but like literally my back.

Oh. And Brooks was like, well, I've had ups and downs, but so far, I'm even killed since I came back. Oh. And bricks like, well, I've had ups and downs, but so far, I'm even killed since I came back. Yesterday. Yeah. I can have a nervous breakdown at any moment, but right now I'm doing okay. Anyway, in honor of the Mayan pyramids,

I'm gonna make a pyramid of yogurt. That'll work out well, right? So basically, they just kind of talk it over. Park with cinnamon dicking inside of it. So this is where they're cooking. So they're going to be cooking in this cave thing. Yeah. With big open fire pits.

Yeah, nothing but like nothing, but whatever was available to the Mayans in the year, you know, minus 75,000 BC, whatever it was, I know, blatantly wrong. But, um, yes, they, they, they, they only are going to have what ingredients were available to the mions, uh, which meant no onions, no garlic, and no limes, which was going to be a big problem. Yes, Brooks, like, I'm blindsided. So No one else really even said that much. Yeah, well, like, oh, no, I'm you're okay. I use flower, you know, like whatever it was ever I'm gonna die. And Sheldon, he starts saying, well, you know, I'm just gonna put a lot of heart into my food. I was like, oh, when do you not put heart into your food, Sheldon? Okay.

into my food. I was like, when do you not put heart into your food, Sheldon? Okay. Hopefully not the Mali hearts. Not falling for that one again. I unwrap my heart and it was a Tama Ali. Who knew? Actually, I'm sorry, Sheldon, but did you mean for your heart to be tasteless? Actually, truth was, it would be more like I unwrap my heart. And it was a heart.

I thought it would be cheese. It was hearts within hearts. So Shirley is, okay. So everybody's gonna just use corn. Basically, like two out of three of them are like, corn, I love corn. So she's gonna, I don't even know who's making one at this point.

There's a bunch of fish there. So I guess they're just gonna to be able to use fish. Was that the only protein that was there? I think that there was another meat. I can't remember, but they all decided to go for fish. And so Brooke had this smart idea of testing a filet on this grill because she was concerned that it was not going to get hot enough

for the fish to not stick. And I don't know if they had access to any oil or not, they may have, but so she did a tester and the fish stuck to it. So she realized, okay, I just have to wrap the fish into like a banana leaf or whatever leaf that was. So she did that and then Shirley followed suit, Shirley did the same thing.

And she'll then say, I see these big things a grouper And I say no way am I gonna wrap that I'm gonna leave. I'm just gonna put it right on there I'm like well what made it even worse is that he's like I waited till the last second So I could see what they did with the fish because I didn't know what to do basically So he's like watch them and instead of doing what they did He just put a whole fish on there. It's like watch them. And instead of doing what they did, he just put a whole fish on there. It's like you make no sense. It's like you wait until the last minute to copy them,

but then you didn't copy them. So now you look like a dork and your fish is gonna stick. Yeah, I think that maybe, because it looked like the fish that he put down, it looked like those were bigger pieces because they were doing fillets and he put like a whole like, yeah, he put the whole fish on.

So maybe he thought for some reason it would be like, oh, it would work better, but it didn't because then his fish stuck to the, stuck to the grill. And it was a really bad situation for him. Yeah, it was just big lumpy fish, lumpy piles of fish. So the judges come in and Padma's like, welcome. We are very excited. I'm sorry that my dear friend, Gail Simmons can't be here. I'm sure she would feel very much at home in a dark cave. At least we can listen to things

squawk nonsense, sically as if she were here. You know, Gail, Shulikwano, have given the chance. Am I right? Everyone? Yeah, there's so many like low energy people left on the show. I mean, between Sheldon and Brooke and Padma's talking and then all the guest judges they brought. Only one of them would even talk. The other ones were like, well, it's okay. Well, there's one judge who I seem to remember. Maybe he was the guy who was the host of Top Chef Mexico, who, uh, I if I remember correctly, he was like, well, this is not very good.

And everyone's like, well, actually, it's amazing. I've never talked to us the episode. Or maybe that was in my head. Maybe that was just me. I'm happy. I forget where it was, but yeah, he said something and he said, uh, the fish was perfect, but the garnish just worked against it And Tom's like nope totally disagree. I like both the sauces. Yeah, it was two different sauces, but they didn't argue

Hope's happy with them. You got two sauces. And you know, that's like a yin and yin Two sauces better than one salsa. I think so in this case. Yeah, you know, our two solstice better than one salsa. I think so in this case. Yeah, actually it was for Brooke because Brooke made a snapper dish And they all agreed that the snapper dish was cooked perfectly But then there was mixed reviews on the solstice because the thing that Brooke was going through is that she didn't know she didn't have a creative vision So she was just layering flavors on each other and figured she would just make interesting flavors and see what would happen So mixed reviews on the salsa. I think that's because of that one judge. Yeah, she had like two different flavors of salsa or whatever. And then she, Tom's like, did you mean to do two kinds of salsa or, you know, is that a purpose?

And she goes, yeah, well, I was expecting lime, but there was no lime. So thanks for the blind side. It's like congees. At least keep it in when you're at the judges table. I know. Pat, I was like, I'm sorry, but our shipment was delayed. Gail got into one of the crates and you know how that can happen. Bless her.

So Seldon was up next and he just had, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so,? And he's like, no, no, it's just the sauce. It's a crab sauce and Tom goes, so is this supposed to mimic crab? Like, are you doing like it supposed to look like crab? Since you have a crab sauce and he's like, no, I just messed up. He's like, look bro, I'm trying to help you. He's like, so would you say this is faux crab, but it's a pleasant surprise because it turns out it's snapper. So it's kind of like a play on crab. Is that what you're saying, Sheldon? No, no. No, I was still upset that there were no amounts to use.

He's like, I couldn't believe it. I cut into the snapper and it was snapper. I can't believe it. I cut into the snapper and it was snapper. Yeah. So this was the judges, the judges all agreed at the table that it was way too hot, pretty rich. And the fish was, I only poured that out because at the end they're like, it was delicious. It's just that the fish was wrong. I'm like, and it burned the fuck out of your mouth.

Well, Ricardo, Ricardo was very dramatic. He goes, oh, it's too hot for me it ruined my spirit He's like walks out of the cave all sad defeated. He's all spiritless. He never makes it to happen Yeah, he's just a shell of human being now So ruined my spirit ruined speaking of shells. So Shirley did something really interesting Which is that she toasted the shrimp shells over the open fire and then she ground them down to make it a shrimp salt and She served that because she made a Grupper with corn salad and crustacean sauce and it was seasoned with that that shrimp

That shrimp salt and I was I thought that I mean Spoiler alert Shirley eventually won But that seemed to be the most interesting thing that happened in this finale challenge. Yeah, creatively for sure. Creatively, yeah. And Graham was Graham's like, uh, why did you use grouper? You know, when they have these guest judge like Blaze, Graham, they're always trying to come in and be kind of bitchy, but then they always get shot down. The other judges don't like it when they get bitchy, which I thought was really funny.

Because he's like, did you choose Cooper on purpose? Why would you do that? And she's like, because it's fatty and I need that fatty-ness to go without, you know, whatever. And then one of the judges goes, oh, it's just marked. I was like, yes, suck it, Graham. I like that Jeremiah. He goes, that girl can cook.. I was like, yes, queen. Yes. I was expecting him to like do some air snaps And Tom's like, well normally you do something, you know, but your culture

So I don't understand why you didn't bring Chinese into this like because they're in the middle of nowhere with nothing to use like What's she gonna do find some soy sauce under her right arm. That's exactly what I was going to say. You didn't really leave a lot of oyster sauce and soy sauce around. Yeah. And if she had done something Chinese, he would have been like, well, you know, here we are again, Chinese food. Hope even in Mexico. Um, but surely actually had a great response that she said that that shrimp salt was actually, um, something from a fair was a childhood or or a Chinese

thing, but either way, she said that she's like, that was my little touch. Um, and they were like, oh, okay, okay, but all right. Yeah, great. Yeah. That girl, okay, girl girl girl can make a shrimp salt girl She can question my skull any day of the week Something's like yeah, that's bad ass. It's like a doctor drabidio So in the stew room Dr. Dre video. So in the stew room, Brooke is like, well, I really hope that it's me and Sheldon

because it was my dream for us to be at the end together. Like, I love Shirley to death, but he's like a brother to me. Like, you're a bitch because Shirley is so nice and she's going to be watching this at home crying. So thanks a lot for herding Shirley, Brooke. And by the way, a great final three, because it was, it was hard to have one of those moments where you say, oh well, you know,

she'll then should really go forward because he got to number three last time. I didn't get to go for it because she'll then and surely made it to number three. So you sort of have that feeling of, they both deserve to be in the finale, but then you sort of have that feeling of, they both deserve to be in the finale, but then Brooke, you have that feeling of, yeah, but Brooke got screwed with that awful finale thing.

So she deserves to go forward. So the entire time I couldn't do the so and so deserves to go forward thing, which was making me go crazy. It's also tricky because, yeah, it does. And it's also crazy because Brooke, when Brooke gets like this, like so negative and down, she usually, last time she went home, you know? Like she just knew and it's not because of her negativity,

but I think it's just, she's negative because she knows she was really that bad. So in this one, I thought, oh no, Brooke's gonna go home when I want to spread. I mean, yeah. So here's the reason why I thought Brooke was gonna go home because after they announced that Shirley was the winner, the judges were dinging Brooke and Sheldon for different things and every time they bashed Sheldon for something

The editors would cut to Brooke and Brooke was giving this The snotty look which I'm convinced was probably edited from some other part of the judging But they they edited in there as if like every time Sheldon Did something wrong Brooke was like, huh? So I'm like,, oh they're setting up so that way she's cocky right now And then she's gonna get cut so I thought for sure Brooke was going home But see the main Done the winner She's like oh my god. Oh yeah

Did she win with the quick the quick? I can love Shirley. Well, did Shirley winner or was it the brick one for the quickfire? Seven days stay at the secret server resort of your choice. Brooke won that. Brooke is won so many money prizes. She wins all the money prizes and let's see. She won that nice tequila too. Yeah. And Shirley, there's like, okay, you get to go to the end. She's like, I always decided to stand there. No, Shirley. Shirley, you want a ladder so that way you can climb to any rooftop and jump off it. You crazy girl. Oh, this is great. So her, she won because it was the most composed and this worried me to all these hints that they're throwing out really

were wearing me. Tom's like, it was the most composed and you know, there was a lot of stuff. You could have done a lot of stuff. And instead you edited it down because you know, you knew what to say enough is enough. Unlike Brooke, you know, didn't know that. I was like, oh, no, here, here brick goes. But have must starts by grilling sheldon. No, no, no. So then, did you mean to get grill marks on your butt? Sheldon, did you mean to leave all those tamales on the grill? Did you mean to make me give a bad review to the poor tamale babies on the street? Like what I do to you, bitch! The mall business is ruined forever, fucking Pat.

I think I love our Patma joke. I'm realizing it is like some of the fun that's like so weird. It's not to like congratulate ourselves, but just think you bad. Did you mean to just the pacific rest of nature? So let's see, Tom, Grille-Selden, Sheldon wanted to do finna-pino, and Tom's like I'm like, oh, the flavors were good. And you shit out of firestorm, but, you know,

show, okay, good, good cookery. But the sauce was spicy and the fish was a mess. So, you know, and he's like, did you test it? And Brooks like, yeah, yeah, I mean, I did. I tested it and I realized that that just wouldn't work on the grill. And them it's like no Challenge like you know me. I like to just jump into a challenge. You know, don't even check the tamales. I just jump right in Yeah, this was kind of a bad day for an import guy. He didn't really cross his teeth and dot his eyes

Yeah, he didn't buy his tamales didn't so adma is like yes, I agree there was not enough flavor But Padma though she was like so are we on team broker team Sheldon and she's like or she was like Are we anti broker anti Sheldon she's like I'm kind of anti brook well of course you are Padma Yeah, always you hate Brooke. I know she does hate her, right? She's always trying to get her kicked off And Tom's like well, she says well bad Brooks didn't have enough flavor and Tom's like well There's too much going on, but there was complicated flavors like what which is it you two? Yeah? So ultimately though and then of course Brooke again was like well I expecting Citrus and I was expecting garlic and I was expecting onions. So excuses. So fuck you for making me cook in a cave with no ingredients in order to get to the finale. What sort of bullshit is this?

Even Charlotte was a little passive aggressive about that. He's like, yeah, I never see I never see such a such a crazy challenge right before finale, which is his way of being like, what the fuck is this challenge? This is like the sort of shit you put in earlier in the season, like a stunt challenge, not not a finale challenge. Not really. I mean, don't you remember when they had they had to cook in the ski lift or whatever the hell that thing was? Yeah. Well, that was a quick fire though I thought. That was in Seattle. Yeah, when they went up into like, man, Cooper to Whistler. They're like, what after do this in the air?

Yeah, because it's a TV show dumb dumb. And I like when Fadma goes, she just looks at for a country's like, how are you feeling, brook? She just looks at Brooke and she's like how are you feeling Brooke? Nice that you is Brooke Oh God, she's like I promise that no matter who goes home It will be very painful to them not not to me, but to them hey Broke here's a lime. You want this lime? Sorry, I can't have it anymore. Look at me getting off by withholding. They come

back in Fatma's got a lime in her mouth. Like when people put the orange peel in their mouth, they're like, Oh, are you looking for this, bro? Well, no, mom, bro. We're looking for a lot. I'm sorry, bro. I can't hear what you're saying. I'm just enjoying the acidity of this lime. Wouldn't that have been nice in your dish? Please pack your limes and go, I mean. Oh, you don't have limes. I'm so sorry. So they have hands up, limes down. Oh, no, limes. Okay. Oh, excuse me, bro, I'm just shopping some garlic over here. Don't be distracted by the aroma. Did you have some to? No, you didn't know. Okay. I hope you don't mind that I'm drinking this

refreshing seven up. Just play with it with lemon and lime. Or as we call it lime. Brooke, you look exhausted like you possibly have lime disease. Thoughts. Brooke, how does it make you feel to watch me drink this five alive? It has lemon, lime, grapefruit, orange, and tangerine. Chefs, you're out of lime. I mean time. Limes up. Chefs, you're out of lime. I mean time. Limes up. So the judges have their alone time. They're like, boop, pala fish or two spicy or a boring. Oh my god, you guys are really selling the show. And it shall then

these pack your knives and go. So sorry, so then she's trying to cry so hard. She's like, and sorry, comes like, the reason why you're going home is right there in that grill, right there. Okay, so the park is on the grill. So, you know, Sultan so sweet. They're like look at this. There's a fresco for you. You're running up prize is a tomorrow. So enjoy. Here's some Kessafersco from that guy from chopped. What's that guy's name? Who they should have had on. They should have been around here. It's like, well, I really like your dish, except for the lack of jalapeno.

But Aron Sanchez, he shows Kacer fresco, right? In case of like a I could have sworn up to those commercials. I don't like that guy. You know, I have a neighbor that looks exactly like Aron Sanchez. I don't like him because of that. It's not weird. I'm like, I don't like your face. You know, I mean, about Aron. Aron Sanchez has has secret tattoos also like broke

because you can see them poking out every now and then. Mm. Burk loin. Under my label cage. So they show sheldon's like leaving montage. They're like, sheldon, what a trip you had. Remember that time you gave Oak critic Tom. What about that time you wore a hat at Whole Foods?

You bought a pink hat at Whole Foods? You bought a pink hat. Remember that? How about that time you threw orange rinds at your wife? Stop it! Remember that time you were on the floor with noodles covering your entire body and you couldn't move. Remember when you competed in World's Strongest Man by lifting up a bag of noodles. Trying to remember the brand name. I wanted to say Bolero, but Tom's like, you know, for real, you're going home now, but I still believe that you're going to take place amongst the great chefs

of America. Just find somebody to carry those noodles for you. You've got it made. That was like, and that's it. He has such a cute attitude. I really love Shad. Yeah, Shad was adorable. Like, I realize I'm just so grateful. It's like, okay, bye. It's kind of funny because he's so Holly Jolly and happy and kind of sort of spacey that it's hard to believe that he's an excellent chef.

Not to be shady. It's just sometimes, that he's an excellent chef not to be shady. It's just sometimes You it's it's kind of surprising. It's it's always surprising. He's made it to top three twice now, and that's pretty significant No, and I'm just gonna have to pay those. Yeah, he doesn't have a heroin problem or issues with his parents It's sort of weird. I have a feeling he doesn't like throw knives at people in the kitchen, you know No, he doesn't have that like brook. can see doing that. Yeah, brook has tattoos man Yeah, just like a big baby big big baby with a go-t Doesn't seem doesn't seem right that he's such a great chef, but yeah, I would love to try his cooking. That's for sure Well, maybe one day we can be and we have to make it yeah

Till then we'll make a field trip to Irvine to go to Shirley's restaurant. Irvine girl girl. No, I'm closer. Yeah, yeah, we'll go. I'm just saying to Shirley girl girl. Come closer, babe. So until then that brings us to the end of top shape. Yeah, one more episode left. Oh, I guess we're going to move Atlanta back to Mondays then because it just occurred to me. We just moved it landed a Thursdays, but top chef is ending. Okay. I think we should probably. Yeah. It's all changing up now.

So we don't know because at my normal probably be Mondays again. And then Mary de Medicines over after this week. So we have like a big hole next week. But then Southern charm comes back the week after. No, Southern charm is in April. But we have that Oklahoma show. Sorry, up soon. We'll figure it out, we'll figure it out, we'll plug the holes, but you know what, you can do just subscribe on iTunes, and then the episodes will just pop up in your

podcast app on your phone, and you just listen to whatever we're saying about it, and you can also look at our description that way, you'll know what episode we're covering. So, can also look at our description that way you'll know what episode we're covering. So, yeah. So everyone, thanks for listening. Thanks for supporting. Thanks for, uh, thanks for creating great meals, chefs. And we'll talk to you tomorrow.

Bye, everybody. Bye. Hey, everyone. Thanks for listening to the podcast today. We really appreciate the love and support you guys show us. If you have a minute, go to iTunes and leave a review. And if you don't want to do that, maybe next time you're talking to your friends about Bravo,

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