Watch What Crappens - #401 PumpRules: Love Spins

Episode Date: March 1, 2017

The Vanderpump Rules gang wraps up their relationship destroying trip to New Orleans, and the best couple of the show finally shares a kiss. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Also, check out Ronnie’s new TrashTalkTV RHOBH Audiobook podcast at tttv.podbean.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crapens add free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air, come over to facebook.com-watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. I can't live without you, I can't. I'm a little bit more interested in you. You can't squat. I can't spend that so much that happens. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's sponsors.

Christy Doherty and Mia Hansen Loha, and our very special super-subscranis sponsor, Miss Madonna Hines, Mads with a sexy day! We love you girls. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Yeo Bros. I'm Roni Karrum from Trash Talk TV and the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast,

which is very funny today, so go listen to it. And to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills audiobooks on iTunes. And if you're wondering how to look for that, just put in Trash Talk TV, all one word on your podcast app, and it'll come up. And I'm with my gorgeous co-host, Ben Mandelker of the B-Side Vlog and the Banta Blender podcast. Baaay! Happy Mardi Gras. It's Mardih the day.

Yeah. Oh, darling. We can't talk about. That's so much fun. So we're dating tomorrow. How appropriate that we're talking about. Vanerva rules in New Orleans. I mean, Fat Tuesday.

Am I right, everyone? Yeah. It's a perfect time to be talking about that. They're really good with their scheduling on this show, right? Yeah, I wonder if they did that on purpose because I mean, they really nailed it. Yeah, it's the wall. It's Nola on Mardi Gras. Yep. Yeah, not for them, but for us. Yeah, let's bust out some of that the Zyteco music. No, I'm saying Zyteco anyone. That's right'm saying. Zydeco, anyone?

That's right. I went to the Museum of Musical Instruments in Phoenix and I am very well aware of all sorts of genres of music now. Zydeco. Zydeco, Mother Trunks. I'm going to put on one of those corrugated metal things around my, sandwich board things and scratch it and it'll be all that Zydeco sounding. You have no idea what I'm talking about.

I get it. Well, this week of end up on rules were still in no. Who's no. No. That's sugar. No, there was a show girl. Do you not know who Barry is? Oh, sir, sir, sir, we were just talking about iconic game movies of the 90s that we love and I did not mention serial mom, but you know, Kathleen Turner loved her some very

manolo in that movie. I'll tell you. Yeah. Well, Barry Manolo loves him some bet midler in real life. You see how it just goes in one big gay circle. It's very man-o-lo. Who has a straight. Oh, this is crazy. This is already, we're just starting. We can't even get a coherent sense out.

Because it's Marty Grah. Because it's Marty Grah. Well, we start this episode in New Orleans. And it is basically like we start a party weekend here in West Hollywood when it's gay pride and everyone's out on the street party and there's that old dude, you know, if like, his stomach down to his knees and his boobs down to his belly, but yeah, and a jock strap on the bicycle. You've seen that guy, right?

I've seen that guy. That's a real person in West Hollywood. And he was like in the first shot of this. And I was like, okay, it's an official party now. That guy's here, scaring everyone's children. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, we pretty much just pick up exactly where the last one left off.

Left episode where Schwartz is walking around and some sort of wedding dress thing. And he's saying he doesn't want to marry Katie. So I don't know what's not to, what's driving him away. I mean, then they cut, of course, to Katie, it's lining there on the couch or sitting there with a scowl on her face drinking for loco. So I mean, what are you missing here, Schroletz? An Ari on Thomas still having his breakdown of like, bro, I can't

believe this. It's like, tollebosha is like an abused wife. And Ariana's like, yeah, but we figured out the roots of Katie's issues. It's that girl in Vegas. And I just, and then Tom's like, oh, yeah, roots, what about the other roots, huh? What about the other roots? It's a good argument, bra. Are you talking about the mini series? Like, where are you going with this?

He's like, this all started with roots, the slavery midi series. I'm like, wow, I think he's just talking about his extensions. I got GG's extensions, man's line. No, that's a weave. No, extensions, no, to weave extensions. Um, I think they're the same thing. Yeah, I liked how, um, so. I think that they're the same thing. Yeah. I liked how, um, so they were basically, they, there's two, two rooms of people.

One is the Katie room with the girls and one is the Tom's room with she and Ariana. And so Katie is telling, um, like Stasi is doing this whole thing of, I just, I can't believe I didn't know. Like who does that? What sort of friend doesn't know that their friend is having issues with their boyfriend because he cheated on it. You know, so she's doing this whole thing.

And Katie's like, well, I just didn't want to talk about it. I just, I was just trying to protect Tom. I just didn't, I just wanted to protect him. I'm like, please Katie, don't paint yourself like a saint here. Okay, it was an entire seasons worth of drama between you two. You didn't, you were not quiet about it. Yeah, it was on TV.

Yeah. It wasn't quiet. Yeah, she's like, I'm just doing it to protect Tom and Stasi, of course, everyone on this show makes it about themselves, you know? So she's like, I can't believe we weren't talking. This is all my thoughts. She's like, no, it's not.

And then Katie, who in the last episode was like, no, I mean, the girl in Vegas, like, at first, she was like, it's not really that, but now everyone's talking her into it. So she's like, yeah, well, it is that girl in Vegas. And like what you don't remember a thing, but you remember making out, I mean, that's remembering something. I mean, I just wish she would admit that he fucked that girl in Vegas. That would be stupendous.

Yeah, exactly. So it's like, OK, so this is obviously still a major issue for you as it probably should be. But it wasn't. You should admit that it. Well, I mean, I know it's just it wasn't, but now it is because everyone's telling her it is. Well, basically, Kristen, Kristen and Shina hatched this plan last episode.

Like, you know, we'll do seriously. One time the shorts is really drunk. We're just getting in front of him, man. Um, let's run his relationship. Yeah. Um, so I like, uh, I, I like she and Arianna trying to explain this, the psychology of Katie to Tom, uh, sand of all, which you alluded to already. And how they're like, like, we don't necessarily believe it, but we think Katie's issues that she just hasn't gone over that issue. And he's like, oh man.

He's like, you know, what about the earth first two years? He's like, no, Tom, then then SantaVall is like, he's only marrying her because she gave an ultimatum, man. And then she was like, no, how dare you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, but Santa the detective. She's like, no, but I have to be, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Vegas she was totally fine. These people are so funny. Anyway, you propose when they give you a little later. She's like, I don't know what ultimately means, but it sounds like a disgusting vegetable. I don't think vegetables

will cause so. I'm sorry, but I believe the born identity is the best one of those. So it's really not Katie's fault that she gave the ultimatum because she had no idea be a bad movie. I mean, just because they spell ultimatum wrong. I mean, just because they spell born wrong doesn't mean that they shouldn't win an Oscar. I'm kind of stomachache. I'm gonna take some ultimatum now. So I'm ultimatum D. Like, she know why you monologued that ultimatums right now. Oh! You eat ultimatums, you're gonna get sick. I guess food poisoning. I like ketchup, but I don't like ultimatums.

I do agree with Tom, though, that Katie... Well, maybe Katie should've worked as fucking Jan fucking gen out before she puts shorts into proposing to her I actually kind of agree and I think both of them should have worked out their ship before they decide to patch it up By getting married, but you know what that's on them. Well, we get a kind of a reason we kind of learned their They're whole reasoning behind their relationship towards the end of the episode, but we'll get certainly do we do. Yes, I know exactly what you're gonna talk about. Yeah, because they both talk about it separately in its hilarious. Yeah. So then back with Katie and the girls, now Katie is really buying into this whole chicken Vegas thing and she's like, oh my God, I'm just like the dumbest

woman on the planet. Like I'm officially the dumbest, except from her 40 of four-looker. And then Jack's like, yeah, just don't understand why you just won't say sorry. Like what's the big deal? Like, I mean, I do shit and then I say I'm sorry and it's okay. Like what's the big deal? Yeah. Well, I, but by the way, we should also mention we skipped over it, but this was also when Tom Sandevol famously knocked in the door. He said, he's a fucking batter wife. Look at him. He kicks in the door and Tom Schwartz is just sitting there smiling. It was one of those like instantly iconic moments. That's going to be remembered,

forever in gifts and clip shows and Instagram posts. That's that to me is already one of the most brilliant moments of all of interpump rules. Well, Jackson's so shady. He started all this basically and now he's like, I just don't understand why he can't apologize. So Tom is still like in his weird wig cap or and listening to all of this and he comes in. And Tom has just spent all this time going, I'm not marrying her man. Like, fuck it. I'm not even going to marry her. And then he comes in and he's like, Hey, boy, I love you.

Well, actually, he does a, he does a first pass. That's not so friendly. He walks in. I mean, by the way, we should also mention that Katie is sitting there in a tank top that says fiancee spelled like Beyonce with an F. I mean, I can't what does that mean? Well, she's it's like because she's a fiance. Oh, it's like, yeah, but when she's a fabulous like fiance. Oh, no girl. No. Well, Beyonce is another one who probably should have thought a little bit more before she got married, you know, it's like making a making a album calledade and then getting pregnant with twins and then putting out a picture in a bikini looking all sad and pregnant. I was like, oh, be sick.

Yeah, but the fact is, the Lemonade is like crystal light, you know. It's like not quite a satis-fine. It's for loco, lemon flavor for loco. That's what hers is. It's actually called that. She doesn't even have like the artistic nuances to call it anything more special than lemon flavored. Good. And you're totally right. He did come in a Reuter, but I just saw I love you. And I thought this was that part,

but it's not. It was Kristen going, look, Tom number two. I love you, okay? And he's like, yeah, I hate you. And yeah, you told that I fucked a girl, Vegas. Yeah. And he is like, he, I hate you. And you told that I fucked a girl, Vegas. Yeah. And he is like, he's still mad at horse fades. And then, and then he's like, yeah, after he's after that,

then Katie, I was like, well, you did. So, and then Tom just turns where he goes, yeah, and you're also a bitch. Great guy, has a fun wedding. It's Dossie. You can't talk like that to her. Seriously, who does that? That's my role to call her a fucking bitch. And then we uncover Kristen's true reason, as if we didn't all know this before, her true motive. She's like, well, have noticed that

he doesn't act like this in the sand devils around. We need to get rid of sand devol. It's all him. Yeah, it's all the boyfriend that you fucked around on 5,000 times, Kristen. So Tom thinks that Katie doesn't act this way really unless she's around Stasi. Kristen thinks that Tom does act this way unless he's around Tom sand devol. So maybe all of you shouldn't hang out with each other anymore. Have you ever thought you're just one big toxic ball? You're like three mile island of people. Yes

Body's just teaped up on top of each other. Yeah My favorite sister of the show lately because she's just so sweet about it She's like those boys were talking about you, Kristie and I said listen She's not here to stand up for herself And she's like yeah, well I'd slid his throat Seriously Tom only create solutions instead of problems. I mean yes, it's one of my t-shirts, but it's also the truth Like you created this whole fucking problem yourself woman. Yeah, you're the one who decided to destroy a perfectly fun night by setting Tom Schwartz off. Like you

were totally out of line horse space. Yeah, at their wedding party. Yeah, you count. So then, so then Stasi. So Stasi, Katie are like in bed now. And Stasi's like, I'm just so sad that I didn't know about these issues. Like I forgot that we weren't friends. I like to think that we're always best friends. And Katie's like, no, it's my fault. And he just imagined Stasi saying, that's right. It is your fault, Katie.

I'm Stasi. It's always your fault. But Stasi's still trying to be so nice. So she's like, I just want to understand. And Katie's like, okay, here's the cleft notes. Tom cheated. He lied hardcore and like 20% made up with me. And like, I've been with him so long I just figured that this loose skinned bitch can't break our bond.

I was like that's one way to look at it. As your bond crumbles before your eyes by the way. And I like that she's on some girl for being loose skinned. That shit's hilarious to me. It makes me pine for that vapid woman from Miami who Kristen Brought to us her once. And she was like we fact we thought to Tom's like no we didn't we fact no we didn't. By the way this was when Jack's was saying shorts just say you're sorry just say you're sorry and I let out Jack's example of how easy it is

to say sorry was him saying you look I said I'm sorry and I shut down that whole you know Brittany and Kristen rumor look at what I did I'm sorry. And I shut down that whole, you know, Brittany and Kristen rumor, look at what I did. I'm like, you started that rumor, you dumbass. You don't get a special award for stopping the rumor that you started. I like what he keeps going. Just a minute and Tom T is like, I did. I just wrote down.

Tom number two is Martha Plimpton in that movie where Nolan shows up for who New Year's party. Just like drunk, like even looks kind of like Martha Plimpton. He's just about to pass out. They need to leave him alone. I know. And the poor guy, he goes to Swig from a bottle of beer and there's just like water in it instead. He wants to spitting it out. I'm like, you know, the sad thing is he's probably too drunk to realize that's probably not just water. He's grossed out by the water. It was like something in that nasty water in a chorus bottle made him realize he's made terrible decisions in life. And so then he goes

back into Katie's room. And now he's like, Papa, Papa, and like, you know what, Tom Schwartz, you are a piece of work. You are a real asshole. You come in here, you call your fiancee a bitch. You're nasty, you're surly, you're grumpy, you're drunken, belligerent. You go out of the room, Jackson's just apologizing. And you come in and you're like, Buh, buh, buh, as if no one realizes

what you're trying to do. Come on, get out of there. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then he just falls on the ground. And Jackson's like, okay, I try. Come on, Brittany, I need to get my dick sucked. Well, I liked also that Stasi was like, get the fuck out of it.

And Tom just like, nice dating life. Nice dating fucking life. Jack's Frank Patrick. Stasi's like, I don't see what that has to do with anything. She's like, I don't disagree. But I don't see it's relevant right now. Yeah. She's like, I don't disagree, but I don't see it's relevant right now. Yeah, she's like, that's just bad arguing skills. But I'll take a Pinagregeo.

So Brittney's like, I will kill you for saying that in front of my friends, Jackson. He's like, okay, I'll go down on you instead. God, I gotta go down on my girlfriend cause of this. If it's any consolation, I'm sure it smells like shark cuterie down there. So Jack's telling, uh, Jack's telling Brittney, he's like, yeah, Tom came and wasted and he took us close off and he started pacing around the room and saying, I did something really bad.

I did something really bad. And then he admitted to hooking up with that girl and Brits, like, you mean like six? No, Brittany, he got the girl a job at the restaurant. He advanced her career, Brittany. Well, that sounds crazy. He actually put her on a fishing pole and tried to catch something. Like, what the fuck do you think he was talking about?

He took her to Cirque de Soleil. Oh, I messed up. We went to Oh, instead of the other one. So Tom to Katie bed. Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. We already did this part. So then then we get a commercial and it's Jack's and Brit doing one of those.

We really love this show. and it's Jack's and Britt doing one of those. We really love this show. It's like great. And it's the arrangement for that show on E that's about some girl being contracted to like Mary a movie star. Yes. And deciding to marry him for fame. And I guess it turns into love later. And I'm like, these actually,

this is the perfect couple for that. Yeah, actually. Exactly. I think this is some Comcast synergy because later that, later that night on Watch What Happens, the guy Josh Henderson or Hickerson or whatever his name is the star of the arrangement. It was on it. And in case you missed it, Stasi, they did, they did a live promo during summer house, which is a reason why you should all be watching summer house because you never know what you're gonna miss Andy Cohen's like, hello, we got Stasi Schroeder in Josh Hinderhooki coming up later Staten like Josh. Who'd you rather a marry you? Would you rather be me or Stasi?

And then Stasi turns to Josh and goes don't fuck it up and then she's like Andy Cohen gives us this look like Nancy. And then she just laughs. I was like, that's what you get, Andy Cohen. That's what you get. Don't they have a delay? Not with promo apparently. I'm so I'm used to about that on this watch. What happens live. And if you want to see that video clip, it's on our Instagram. Don't fuck it up. Don't fuck it up. And then she's like, she's like,

she's like, and Josh guy us really even seems to notice. But Andy Cohen gives her this look. Like, why would you do that to my show? Why? Why? And she's just giggling. Yeah, he hates that. He does. I think it loves James forever about that. I'm like, you talk about openly using drugs on your soul. I'm like, I just find the things that people get offended about. So crazy. It's like the answer. I find the things that Andy Cohen gets offended about. It's hilarious, because he's so like, hey, I'm happy going and easy. Yeah, let's talk about, let's talk about boners. Hey, Madeline Albright. What boners did you see today? What did you think about these boners, Madeline Albright? Hey, Well, I don't fucking know Whoa

Too far a Madeline all bright too far cuz someone put a boner in this woman's Okay, okay, Andy so the next day everybody's waking up and Katie and Stoss here waking up together just like miserable tired lesbians and then Schwartz was waking up in the on jax's couch basically yeah and he can't find his underwear and he's still in a tutu yeah I liked sheenia and shea's morning moment yeah she was like oh was that your dinner last night he's like oh no I had to say I chicken tenders those were that was my snack oh okay that's like, she contenders, those were, that was my snack. Oh, okay. That's like, great, this is exciting. And he's like, how was last night? I heard yelling and she's like,

oh my god, I can't imagine if we were like, half as broad as I'm leading up to our wedding, like that's terrible. Like, I mean, they're both drunk. Like, maybe if everyone just stayed sober until they're wedding, that's a run smoothly. And like, I'll paint up with smart for them.

But I wouldn't marry someone I can't trust. Like, what are you gonna empty my bank account or go to sir and pick up my tips? And he's like, maybe. He literally says maybe. And then like, kinda what he did. That's exactly what he did. And basically like the Brewster's all

but put in a little boy noise in there. It was actually me. She and I realized that she is basically like the dumb Allison Dubois. She can see the future, but she doesn't realize it. Yeah, that's true. She actually is like the most talented fortune teller, but she doesn't even realize her own talents. She's like, what are you gonna lose 50 pounds and find somebody better and like actually find a successful career and take all my money? I mean, she that's crazy. That's like saying moonlight's gonna win La La Land after some crazy upset at the Oscars. That's ridiculous sharing

He's like I don't even know what those things are That is so funny. I think I'm supposed to do bobbin. She doesn't know. And then Tom and Harry's like, I don't know when you're going to die. And I don't love that about me. I don't have that. No, that. Don't know that. I don't know that. No, that.

You will always emotionally fulfill you. Don't know that you always emotionally fulfill you don't know that cool. I like Tom and Ariana waking up because Tom like still has his nails on he's like dude these nails they're like grossing me out dude. I just watched the gr them. Um, I like, I liked actually Katie. They just cut to her and she was alone in bed journaling and they're like, oh, boom, boom, boom. It's like coloring basically. Yeah. They will, these producers, I actually almost feel bad for Katie because these producers

will take any cut away they can to make her look sadder and sadder and sadder. Katie's coloring in bed. And meanwhile, Stasi's like, they're still fighting over the same things. And then it cuts to the flashback fight. The word is like, shut up bitch. And she's like, can't you stand up for your girlfriend like ever.

And by the way, that supports Sam. Sandevol's point because that was 2012, which was way before this biggest girl. And she was still saying the same shit of like, you're supposed to stand up for me. So like, I believe that the affair, the quote unquote, affair does, does play a role in their rockiness, but they were already on a bad foundation to begin with. Yeah. And they keep referencing their first two years. So wasn't she cheating or something?

Well, she had that over the pants and job. Yeah, it had to be more than that. Or are they just saying that she's being verbally abusive the first two years or something? I think that she was being verbally abusive, but you know, he's also a disaster too, by the way. He's a disaster. Yeah. And he put water on her head two different seasons in a row. And that was before the affair.

So someone, and this is totally unsubstantiated gossip. So just that's our pre-fist, but or preface, but someone put on our Facebook face in Sashina. Yeah. That was my pre-fist. This is my now face. Let me wonder if I'm going to get another face. It's like, oh my god, he's worried. You face. Let me one of my gonna get another face. It's like, oh my god, he's worried.

You are. You didn't realize it, you know? Good. Good. I think you know. Someone put on our Facebook that Tom is really rich. He comes from a really rich family, which is why he never works or has to worry about money. And that that's why he wanted to pre-naps because he doesn't have

anything in his actual bank account but he has like a trust fund and all that stuff so he will be rich and he's only staying with Katie to be on TV basically. That makes sense. I think he's also weak in spirit too. Yeah, I think he just doesn't want to find new friends. You know, that's another good point that I think people make a lot is it? He's just like, I get rid of Katie. I have to like go on match.com. That's hard. And then, oh, I like have to find new people to hang out with. Bumbam. Which does, that does fold into the idea that he's probably some rich kid. Because I think if you're a rich kid, you either are totally entitled, and you do whatever you want,

because you're spoiled, or you're just really lazy, and you don't want to do anything for yourself. And I think he probably falls into the ladder category. I'm like, I don't want to date again, Baba. Just stay here. Oh, I love you, Baba now.

Yeah, that's the guy who basically spoons peanut butter into his mouth, because he's too lazy to like put a pizza in the microwave, you know? Hey, those are fighting words. I know, it's gonna say, guess we also use that guy. Ronnie, Ronnie Care. I do enjoy sometimes taking a spoonful of peanut butter and then putting some raisins or perhaps some anything chocolate on it and putting it there and just shoving it all in my face. Yeah.

Sometimes I really can't hate, I can't help but hate myself when yummy arrives and it's like a turkey sandwich, a diet cook and two packs of cigarettes because I can't walk a block the whole foods. Yeah. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I Pills my rent money for the month yummy. Yeah, you know me. I live next to a Ralph's so like I get it And I'm even worse. I actually went yesterday and I went to sprouts and I spent about $45 getting all these groceries and then I spent the whole afternoon and be like I'm so hungry. I'm too hungry to cook anything and then I just didn't eat. I was too lazy to even eat. Oh, I wish I could be like that.

Oh, and I'm sorry. I did eat. I had six cookies, chocolate chip cookies. Oh, never mind. I am like that. Yeah. Someone brought cookies over for the Oscars, one of my board game playing friends. And so I was like, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, I don't want to make the chicken. In fact, I even had leftover leftover chicken breasts and leftover broccoli that I could have heated up. And I was like, blah, blah, I don't want chicken breasts and broccoli. No, cookies, blah, blah. I have a whole bag of already chopped vegetables that I prepped and then two tuna steaks that I've already cooked and I'm like, we just turned into guys of animal rules.

I'm like, bro, this is not cool, bro. Okay. So speaking of two lazy to do anything, let's go back to sir. Let's do 90% of the people who work there. I, I love the surre cutaways on the vacation episodes because they are so silly and stupid. By the way, last night, as documented on Instagram, I was waiting at a light and young Max Todd walked across the street in front of my car. You know, that guy is so sweet and cute. I'm really glad he stays the fuck off this TV show. Yeah, I've been to those restaurants many a time now.

And Max is always there and he is always working his ass off. He's always you never really fully see him because he's like a blur like in your picture. He's just always working, you know. And not only that, he started walking across and it was at Lasianna, at Lasianna, at is harmonic, which is actually, for the crosswalks there take forever to walk across, because they're long, and he was just sort of like walking along his hands were in his pocket.

He just was pleasantly walking, and then it switched from the walk sign to the countdown to the don't walk, and he adjusted it into a low-level trot. And I was like, you know what, that may sound like nothing, but in L.A., you'd be amazing how many people actually go slower when the countdown begins. I think he was like, I knew they're going to be some cause. They're going to need to pass through this intersection soon. I better hurry along. I was like, that is so considerate, Max Todd. You are a fine, fine man.

I'd hate to make strangers wait. Trot, trot, trot, trot. That's exactly what he looked like. He had like a little happiness step. I love him. And his hair is like grown out now. It's like sort of puffy, this big puff, big sweet man with puffy hair and a light trot. I enjoy his gate. Well, he's a man with a velvet-tuffeded catch now.

He's got a big responsibility. Soon he will graduate to tent master as they are now tense. That's true. Soon Max will be able to saw that branch off himself. He'll go from bus boy to runner to Brent. So we're giving him a special rod that will allow him to open and close all the skylights in the restaurant. I love that Lisa comes in always acting like she's in ER.

She's like, hello, your early hostess lady. And she's like, yeah, I like that not being early. Diana, what's going on with the tent roof? And she's like, oh, we need to cut a branch. And she's like, all right, fine, but don't let him cut anymore. It was a Diana or was it Natasha? I think it was actually Natasha. They like, because Diana's the young one.

And this was I think Natasha. She's like, Lisa, you must leave. It is dangerous. Yeah, the branches they fall. I've dealt with a lot more than sticks falling on my head. You know what I mean, darling? Like a... Q the Indiana Jones music at least it runs away from a giant ball rolling through

sir. It's like half Indiana Jones half sex joke. Like at least I focus. Which is like, oh that's quite the large ball there. I haven't seen that even last time I had denied Ken. A blowjob. At least at the ball is rolling towards you. Get out of the way. Feel like an action star like Indiana Bones! Get it, Indiana! Hoh! Oh, Diana, don't look at the opening the arc. Don't look your face, my melt-off.

Almost as if you looked at me with my robes on it! Lisa, your face is literally melting. Look away from the arc. I paid a lot of good money for it to do this, telling. away from the arc. I paid a lot of good money for it to do this, telling. We should look at our new glasses. This one they caught the holy grouse. I'm going to drink from it. No, Lisa, you're going to feel no, don't drink from that Lisa. She'd steer at the arc on purpose. Darling, it's free exploration. You have to get the old cells out of the way so the new ones can grow. Rina could learn a thing or two from this arc.

Rina's already dead. The arc is killed by Rina. Oh, look at me. I appear to have lost all my skin. Now she understands how I felt doing last year's reunion. Darling, I'm sorry. I manipulated you into looking at the arc of the cover. What do you want prepared? Oh, it Covenant what he wouldn't prepare it. Oh, it, oh, it, oh, it. Darling, here's a small Asian boy who can be a sidekick in your next adventure.

His name is Rimjob, it's something like that. Oh, Lisa Vander. So there's a new bitch in town. And done done. Found her from rules knows that it's audience is fucking ridiculously stupid. They give us people just named the same thing. Yes. This isn't Katie Maloney. It's Katie O'Malley.

Oh, Katie O'Malley sounds like she should be honest to come or she should have a sitcom named after Katie. Kato'Malley. She's just, you know, a hard-working weather girl in Cleveland. Katie, Katie Tom, Tom, get in here. Seriously. If I can't find another law, the Katie, Katie.

Katie, Katie. I like to think of Katie O'Malley as the Japanese Niga of Interpop rules. She's surpassed that look. All she's missing is kind of a raspy voice. You know, I can't believe that not one of these girls could study in menu before they come and back in pre-engining. I'm crying out loud. I mean, come on. She's like, Lisa, I've been working here a year and a half hosting.

And Lisa's like, well, it's been a very positive experience. I hope is this your live Yelp review, darling? Do you need a number for the better business bureau to give me gold stars, darling? This is also where Lisa boasts about her host, hostess to server pipeline that she has going on. If you start, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Max when we first saw Max it was an Mexican airport. I thought he was a keychain Before you knew it he became my child then he became a prep cook then a busboy then a runner then a man with a Fervent tufted couch

Look at James. You're from a pizza maker to a pizza maker without a job telling And when he became a runner he really took that to heart. He never walked through a crosswalk. I hear that firsthand. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Um, yeah, so at least as, you know, applauding yourself for promoting people from Busser, it's a server, as if they've like become the CEO of a company. Um, but either way, yeah. Also, they have to work themselves out because you only hire stupid horrors to work there. You don't like hire anybody who's ever waited at table before. Yeah.

And this Katie girl for like, uh, for one second, I got excited. You know, when she said, I think I would like to be a server. I was like, okay, here comes a new talent. I mean, she had a, she got a full chiropran there, you know, um, moonlight reference. Ha, no, she got a full, uh, thing that said, Katie of Malleys was like, oh wow, they're gonna make her someone. I thought, oh good, we get some new new blood in here. And then when, well, that's later on in her test. But yeah, she's like, meet me in the VIP room, darling. Make sure there's not more than one branch scone from the dining room before you come back. Be sure to wear a hard hat.

Branches are falling everywhere so much perilous. Then she gets a call and she's like wait hold on my cell phone is breaking out in hideous fake crystals glue gun don and ruining the entire. That's what I imagine her. That's what I imagine her fondness. I'm a Yankee-Dude to the Dan D. She's a bread on flashes, a high-flying bag. I don't know why I have all these American songs on here. But when Katie Col he has a special ring Hello, you're done It's me Lisa. What is it?

Has Winnie been by to say hello yet, darling Katie's like I'm just calling to see if you like what me like we're gonna get pride for next year She's like, oh,, stop working and enjoy your beautiful relationship with John Schwartz. So handsome that if we weren't both marrying and swallowing my fist and make him deserve. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful future. I mean, granted he could not survive the lease of Antipompipeline after he quit after one day at pump, but you know, I'm sure he'll find a job doing something like professional pussy. Ha ha ha ha ha. Katie's like, I'm still on the phone. Oh, sorry.

I know they got you blow up penises via party, darling. Hopefully you didn't need a blow up for ginors since youence. You've already got Schwartz something! Ah! Ah, darling! There she is. Some of the music plays behind her down. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Like, I got her. So it's so... Keri basically calls to bitch about Tom and Lisa's like,

darling, are you looking for problems? Your fight later, trust me, wait until he has an affair on the clock, darling, are you looking for problems? Your fight later trust me. Wait until he has an affair on the clock, darling. Yeah, I mean, Lisa was right though. I mean, if you're having this much fighting in your bachelor party, wait until you actually have like a real crisis in your marriage. Yeah, she's like, to get past that pre-knop, you're gonna have to have a couple of babies and wait five years, darling. Don't stop the fight clock until then. Just wait until you start fighting about all the leftover tea towels in your apartment. That's one of the things we get really explosive. Ronnie, we must interrupt this very important band of pump rules recap. To talk about something

even more important than picture frames falling on Katie's face and water and beer bottles and all the madness of New Orleans. You know what I'm talking about. Well, I'll tell you one thing. This episode of Vanderpump rules could use a clean mattress. Yes. You know, maybe Katie and Tom wouldn't be fighting so much if they were sleeping on a decent mattress, a decent mattress, like a Casper mattress, don't you?

Yes, Casper mattresses aren't only decent. They're luxury, darling. Pure luxury. An in-house team of engineers spent thousands of hours developing the Casper. There's a supportive memory foam for a sleep surface that's got just the right sink and just the right bounce. Plus, it's breathable design. Sleeps cool to help you regulate your temperature through the night.

Plus, buying a Casper mattress is completely risk free, which we can't say the same about getting into relationship with any of the people on Vanderpump rules. Casper offers free delivery and free returns with a 100 night home trial. Also something that would benefit Katie with Tom. If you don't love it, they'll pick it up and refund you everything. Casper understands the importance of truly sleeping on a mattress before you commit, especially considering you're going to spend a third of your life on it and as someone who has a Casper mattress who paid for it on his own, it wasn't like that they sent it to me.

I bought one with my own, my own, their own power of me. I live my Casper. Yes, it's an obsessively engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price. Yeah, it's got supportive memory foam to create an award-winning sleep surface with just the right sink and just the right bounce. Time magazine named it one of the best inventions of 2015.

Yeah, and you get free shipping out of terms that you wasn't kind of law. Yeah, try it for $109. I've returned to you. I'm counting on. Yeah, try it for 100 nights. That's free. You're on home. And if you don't love it, they'll pick it up and refund you everything. Also, I have to say it's really fun having a giant box to show up at your door that has a mattress in it. And then you open up the box. And then you unfurl the mattress. Then you cut open the plastic and win it in automatically inflates. It goes, it is actually very, very rewarding. It's worth it just for that moment. And then you unfurled a mattress, then you cut open the plastic and went it automatically inflates.

It goes, it is actually very, very rewarding. It's worth it just for that moment. It's worth it just for the science of it, you guys. It's a science. So to get $50 off towards any mattress purchase, go to Casper.com slash Krabbins. Any news? Yeah, Krabbins, terms and conditions apply. So Casper.com slash slash crap ends with our code

carabin that's right Ronnie yeah you guys can check out uh screenshots and everything else on the website Casper dot com slash crap ends oh and also also if you really are still on the fence if you my blog beside blog I did a whole review about my Casper mattress so you can literally just do a Google search of Casper mattress beside blog really are still on the fence. If you, my blog, B-side blog, I did a whole review about my cast for mattress. So you can literally just do a Google search of cast for mattress, B-side blog,

and you'll see my whole picture review. At boom. So then we skip over, we go back to NOLA at the pool party. It's like a bad time. And then Tom Tannival has funny t-shirts for everyone. Tom Tannival, you know, for someone who broke up with Kristen who has a t-shirt company, he's pretty obsessed with t-shirts.

Like, there's so many weird little underlying things that go on this show. And where's the scene where Kristen's like, oh, now Tom likes t-shirts? Ugh. Well, I think that's Ian's in there because Kristen probably forgot that she has an alleged business she's trying to run.

I'm killing the game and my business. Hashtags are over. Way to catch up Tom. So Tom Schwartz shows up. He just looks like shit. He's falling apart. I mean, that's just basically it. He just looks like shit. He's like, but he just looks like shit. I have nothing to add to that. I don't know. I just felt like I had to just really reiterate that. It just looks like shit. It's a difficult short scene where the night before he's like, I'm not marrying her,

Baba. And then today he's like, oh, how does she seem? Is she okay? I don't remember anything. And he tells me it's like, I talk a good game, but I'm really scared. It's Katie scary. Yeah, pussy. I mean, she's getting is scary, but at the same time, he is a fucker for his only he is kind of gaslight, I'm gaslighting her, you know, I mean, he's on TV and he's just talking about his feelings, but like, my she's so scary. I'm just like, just poor me. I'm just sweet. I'm sure it's like that's fucked up too. She is scary, but you're a fucker too. Yeah. So basically, Thomas basically, like a human softball, you know, like no matter what you think of the sport, you can't

help but root for somebody to hit it. I was gonna say maybe a hackie sack. You just want to get your knee up in it. Um, and yet at the same time, you just really don't want to see it anymore. Like really, you guys are playing with a hacky sack. When does this hacky sack that like seriously, seriously, seriously hacky sack? And then when you try to play with it, it's like very unsatisfying. Like what do people get about this hacky sack? Oh great. I kicked this little hacky sack with the edge of my foot. And then it fell on the ground and now it's sitting there. And I'm supposed to somehow learn to hit this more and more and more so it's until it's fun.

I don't think so. I'm gonna go listen to Guster now. Guster. Stupid. I actually like Guster a lot. Um, so I don't know why I do. I was waiting for that. I felt you did. I felt like you're looking for approval with that.'t know why I was waiting for that. I felt you did. I feel like you're looking for approval with that. It was like, no, not give you. You know that gustar when

they're like on breaks, they're like playing hockey sack all day long in the studio. Playing bongos and listening, like playing high-kiddy sack. Anyway, so speaking of hockey sacks, we then go over to Stasi bringing Katie and Kristen to her childhood home, but not Sheena, which I thought was strange, but just Katie and Kristen. Sheena's already back on the outs with these girls. Yes. So this is actually nice. We met Stasi's grandmother Rose, Rose Mary. We saw her dad again. We learned that Stasi had a best friend named Sheena Manina, which is amazing. It's like this girl I went to middle school with named Molly Natali. But I feel like also now I understand why Stasi hates Shina so much,

because she obviously has unresolved issues with Shina Manina. And she's too close. Yeah. Yeah. She and she and Manina finally got a boyfriend that stopped spending the night so much Stasi sass. And she's like, what a bitch. All Shina's are like this. Also, we find this is kind of Stasi sass and she's like, what a batch. All she knows are like this. Also, we find out this is kind of Stasi's origin story.

Because we find out that her grandma was the one who named her, which is so much more offensive to me because the grandmother knows history better. Like she actually knew what Stasi is. You know what I mean? Like in modern times, you could be like, okay Maybe it was a mistake and it just sounded nice But someone from back then it's like you knew what you were doing and she's like the minute I saw you I said her name will be Stasi Fira, you know, whatever is like

It's like Oh, don't. Pure, brother. She's like, I saw this baby and I thought, you know what? It's a name or after the Germans, you're police. But I actually heard grandmother was so sweet. I really liked Rose Mary. And you know, I also liked, I liked when Stasi was like, yeah.

So I would come home and no one be home. So I'd like come here into the kitchen and I would sing Broadway show tunes to myself. And the chairs were my audience. And I was like, you really are a gay man, aren't you? You have, you know, you love the show tunes. You have a need for attention and you turn that, you channel it into catiness. You are one of us, Sassy, you are. And you can kind of see where she gets it because even as sweet as her grandma was,

she named her Sassy. And then she's like, Sassy goes, you know, now if you wanna give me any of your Chanel's, I'd be okay with it. And she's like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Whereas like, they're going to the grave with me, bitch. They're gonna be- I're gonna be some more phantom Like we haven't heard using that enough

Drop a chandelier on your face granddaughter Asking for my Chanel's Funny to me Yeah, that was funny. No, I really I like I like the grandmother. I thought she was really sweet and yeah, I'm actually curious to know what Broadway show to InstaCy would sing. That's actually I think a very that was my first thought was what's her what's her lean is she a is she a Gershwin is she a learner and low. No, I can tell you right now. I know who she is. Okay. And you're like, whatever. No, she's lay miss. Okay. Now here's how you know,

girl personality, the nice girl, seeing, I am a castle on a cloud. The mean girl seeing epineen songs. Like, that little fall of rain will never hurt you now, because she's the one who it's like she doesn't win the guy. She ends up dying in the rain. You know what the pretty little bitch, you know, a good little goody-toothed shoes gets everything in the end. I like to think of Stasi coming home and seeing Mr. Mustafa Lee's. I like the thought of Stasi coming home. And the little cat's actually coming out. Like she, their cats from the neighborhood actually come to Stasi.

Well, you know what my cat song is, right? Mom, of course. All alone in the moonlight. Like I was 10 and I was like, remember when things used to be golden? I know. And now here I am on this sad tire. I do like to think of Stasi as the Betty Buckley of Bravo.

Stasi just like gets onto an Ottoman and just waits for the Ottoman to rise up from the living room so she can ascend into the attic into a can of heaven. She's wearing rags. She has a special robe that she puts on after school. That's just rags memories who does that who has memories well even on this show we've really seen Stasi's personality kind of even out like we seen her mature a lot in the past few years and that's a lot on this show seeing how everybody else has gone to the opposite direction we've actually seen her kind of mature and back in her amazing race day she was really a screaming brat so she could have just been a straight up pepper, you know, just like singing background lines from Annie.

I like the idea of her being a pepper. Like always threatening to beat the shit out of Annie or she could have just been a straight up poor unfortunate souls in pain in need She could have just been a what's her face? Adelaide from guys and dolls What was that? That's actually I'm sorry that's China. I should have realized She knows Adelaide but it's totally true. Sure a person can develop a call so we should put the heat on It's totally scary. A person can develop a call, so we should put the heat on.

I love Shay, a bushel antipack, a bushel antipack, down a hog around the neck, a hog around the neck, and a prime path, Taylor, too, please. Oh God, well, I still stand by. My psychic guest for Stasi is on my own, pretend he's beside me. And then she goes for all these losers

or just dump her over and over. And she's just gonna end up in the street drowning in the rain. And I also feel like Stasi went through a weird Indigo Girls period where she probably was like 12 and she listened to that. I went to the doctor. She had to have the cassette. And like, oh my god, this song totally gets us.

I went, she and the doctor, I went to the dentist. Whatever that song is. Oh gosh. Okay. So now they go into the pool at their house, the dad's house or whatever, and they're talking about the guys and she's like, I'm not ever going to let anyone say to Kira Katie again, because that's so key to Tom. And Katie's like, this is so Katie. And this is why she's such a fucking asshole to be, but she really means it when she goes, yeah, well, it wasn't fun, but at least people saw Tom at his

worst. It's validating. Okay. Now you're both good. Great assholes to America. That's you should incorporate that into your wedding vows, by the way. And then Stasi, for some reason, Katie, because usually the girls would be the ones crying and fighting. And Stasi goes, yeah, I feel good because we won. What did you win exactly? You didn't get a Chanel purse. You're in your dad's's pool and everyone else is parting without you Yeah, I'm sorry. You're the one waiting around in a pool with dead leads in it Oh, so Lisa and Katie so now we go back to the test Katie to Katie oh Katie oh Mali catch your Mali

Kits him. Mali She's like okay go for itend I'm one of your customers. I'm like, Mark I'm the sir. I'm Katie. Your Mali. My special skills are tap dancing and wearing leg warmers. All right. Mr. Mali, I would like to, what do you recommend? I would like to What do you recommend? Cucumbers! Is that cucumber in a cocktail? It's just an actual cucumber you drink.

Cucumbers are cheaper than till those make all coming different sizes! I'm going to die! I like it! At first I thought Katie was going to be good because she was like, well my favorite cocktail is the cucumber martini. It's really delicious and really very satisfying and then when Lisa is like I want something fuchsia And so then she's like well the big pinky is foodier. It's it's like pink and has a sugar rim and then like what else Strawberry gimli that has strawberry

Strawberry puree and I'm out of things. Do we have Kuwait here? She just melted down over the simplest thing. But I also like that when Vanderprop says, I found to see something fruit. Yeah, she goes something fruit here. Yes, she didn't know what it was. She's like fruit here. You go into the meat. Why are you right?

Why are you like to the meat? It was like that because the big pinkies are the biggest seller. It's more fru-teer, fru-teer. You idiot. You're going to be in right along with these people. So then she starts on the food. She goes, Do you know all the cocktails? Okay. Do you know the ingredients? What do we- what do we have? A beet salad all the cocktails? Okay, do you know the ingredients? What do we what do we have a beat salad on the menu?

And she's like, yeah, it's really delicious. It comes with beats and Salad and avocados She goes and I can't complimentary for can I You can put them napkin on your lap or not. It's up to you And Lisa's like, I don't think it comes with avocado darling. And she just looks like, oh, shit, call me. Yeah. And then she's like, do you know all the ins and outs

of all the dishes? She's like, no. Do you know the ins and outs of any of the dishes? No. Well, what about the dishes? You know what a dish is? No. Is that thing you put soup in that's a bold darling?

Lisa made up of takes are many slams on the ground. Get out. No, I love that Lisa's like Lisa. I love when Lisa doesn't education on what it's like to go to restaurant. Because she's like, well, you know, a weight, a good server could have been really satisfying. You know, a wait, a good server could have helped and really Satisfied could it could it could lift up a meal, but a bad server could ruin a meal My thanks for sharing all the nuances of service in a restaurant. Well that explains your two stars in Yelp I like when she's like do you know the specials of the day darling? She guess um

Well, there's a grilled's chili and sea mass with What is there darling? lemon and Fishbones and Chili's no darling Lisa van her pompous like she doesn't know the menu at all. She must be so embarrassed. Like a broken bird. I'm hiring her. This girl is an interview in her underwear apart from getting her away from getting featured on this show next season.

Why does Lisa only serve to lay in sea bass? That is like back from season one. What are the specials? And she's like, Oh, my, I'm saying, what is Chilean sea bass? Really, it has a, it's like a fake name. Like it was invented. It's a different fish.

It's not, it's not a bass at all. Yeah. I'll get to the bottom of that everyone. I know you're all one. Yeah, we've already had like an hour long Chilean sea bass conversation on the show. And we will not go back there But I didn't have to point out that it's like every time they're like what's the specials?

Chilay and Seabass No, it knows how to say it. No one knows what it is Atchilay and Seabass is actually a Patagonian toothfish, but since no one likes the name toothfish They renamed they rebranded it as a Seabass So you know good lessons for some of these people to learn those are some toothy mother fuckers to yeah I was about to say if anyone needs to be rebranded as a Chilean sea bass is probably cast to the show so Yeah, you know, I prefer to be called as Lansing bass please

Special Right So I'm never been in Chile, but I am a little cold. So Tom, back in New Orleans, Tom is sure it's just going to talk to Katie. He's like, Buh-buh, Buh-buh. And then again, it's this whole thing with the girl and you still deny fucking the girl. I was too drunk to get hard, Buh-buh.

And she's like, oh, you know what? Then just go away if you're not going to admit it, okay? Because you're still going to marry me, and I'm a horrible person. And then you can just talk about our whole lives, how horrible I am. I'm like, yeah, and that doesn't bother you, because to you just saying your married is more important,

that's so fucked up. Exactly. And now Tom is also being a dick because he's like, well, there's a kiss, but like, you're remembering for two years, you were absolutely terrible to me. And she's like, well, that's on you because you had a choice. You didn't have to stay with my terrible ass. And then at this point, Tom just kind of was like, you still put a ring on my finger because you made me bada bada.

And she's like, well, there's like still a trust thing. He puts ready whip in his mouth. He's like, yeah, he basically resorts the prop comedy. He's like, don't make me drink this for a loco from last night because I will. Here, let me put some cream in my mouth. I don't go put some vodka. Also, what is Katie wearing? And this seems she's wearing a black leotard with some like see through

fleshy colored rentstone top. It's like when they went to the roast and she velcroed a dress onto her black stage managers outfit. Like what the fuck is going on with Gaby? Nobody helping her, you know? No one's helping her ever. That's that's what that's the story of Katie. She's just she's just unhelped and she has this frown line where it's I think she got a scar on her chin at some point But whenever she frowns it like in dense into the scar and so it's like a zigzag frown I'm like you just stop frowning so much. I should not be staring at your zigzag frown line this much like frown line. You've got a semi hot kind of rich person who likes you just light map lady

Well, that's pretty much what Tom said. He's like, let's go have fun, Bob, let's just have fun. Let's have fun. And it finally like, she's like, I want to have fun. Let's do it. Like, okay. So they just sweep it under the rug. Yes. So then it's their last night. So everyone's like, I can't. Hey, Shay, so glad you come out. Well, just kidding. It's like, uh, she's like, I should have brought my chips down.

So Tom, Tom, she was like, yeah, well, heavy drinking like it tears us apart, but it also brings us together. So basically they start playing, spin the bottle and making out. Yeah, which was, you know, disturbing. Peter and and Pian Stasi. I'm sorry. I just have to say Tom Tom to goes, this is the last time I'm going to kiss someone is a single man. Like that's awesome because he's basically just saying I'm not going to cheat before the wedding. But it's also a interesting delineation because it doesn't mean that he's not going to kiss

people once he's a married man. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like, this is the last time I'm going to kiss someone else is a single man. Yeah. Love it. So Ed, of course, the person who gets to kiss is Tom. So, it's his dream and they are the cutest couple on this show. They really are.

They really are. So Peter and Stasi kiss and then we get to hear a little bit about their relationship, which we don't hear much of. And basically, Peter says that they dated for three months, three or four months and he became overbearing and she became controlling. Like, well, no surprise there. Although the overbearing is surprising, but I guess you have to have an overbearing personality to be a visionary behind such movies as The Rive and the Rive and yeah, if any couple needs to cross over their doorways those two Should they take it from the newer girlfriend? So then we get the craziest scene ever Outside to Christmas outside just drinking and smoking a cigar or some shit and Tom comes out and he's like hey, he's like,

she's like, you're revisht seriously? Seriously, you're revisht showing. It's extensions, bro. And then she does this crazy monologue, which goes, you're kind of a giant asshole. It's not, she's like, you're an asshole, I mean, you're kind of a giant asshole all the time, honestly, I'm just being honest.

I don't mean to be mean. I don't mean it in the mean way. It just comes off the way, but you're kind of a giant asshole. Yeah time. I'll see I'm just being honest. I don't mean to be mean I don't mean it in the mean way it just comes off the way but you're kind of a giant asshole Yeah, well I have to talk to my boyfriend about our packed or our our past I'm assuming that means and then we cut to commercial Abby is the worst because hey everybody Stossies here. We're gonna roast her like a pig. It's like, whoa. That's nice.

Wow. And then it cuts away. It's like this guy. So then we go back to the bomb later. Yeah. So yeah, so Kristen's mad that Tom, that the night before, when the, the Tom's were, were fighting with Carter, that Tom's hand of all is like,

you know, you're talked about all the shitty things that Christian's done in the past. And Christian's mad that Tom mentioned that to Carter. When Christian, you're the one who totally went, you know, went out of your way to go up to Tom's shorts and start all this madness last night, you should've shut up too. And you're also the one who made Carter do it.

Carter would not have followed them around telling them off as she wasn't like, it'd be nice if you were such a pussy and you could tell them. You know she did that because she's Christian. And I like to go. Where did Carter go anyway? He disappeared fully. Carter, I think he felt the hatred of America already coming out even though this hadn't aired yet. I think he's like, oh my god, America hates me.

I will be hiding in the closet. Let's need a side of good music. Yeah. Um, but I'd like to be in Christian was like, Tom, I never denied cheating on you. Okay. I felt like a lot of guys behind your back like tons. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, too. And what we could. I also like by the way when he was like, God, I just want to come out here and have a smoke. She's like, well, you just stepped into the swamp. I'm like, you're even calling yourself that now? Yeah, pretty much. And she's like, leave him alone.

Look, you can't ruin this for me. Okay? Because I'm a different person now. And I'm not the same horse face you were telling him about. I'm different. Like, you're not different. I'm a sketch comedy 201 now. You're still trying to ruin relationships you weren't in. You still drinking too much. You still smoking cigars and yelling at

people on patios. Like you're not different. Okay. So this weird scene, like Tom finally is just like, okay, prison. I'm sorry. I just wanted to let's just be happy. Let's be cool. Of course, it's just good. And he goes, yeah, well, the last time'm sorry. I just wanted to let's just be happy. Let's be cool. Of course, it's just okay. And he goes, yeah, well, the last time we had to talk like this was in Miami. And then they cut to Tommy like, I just want you to be happy. I'm so good.

They she does the flat facts on this. So we should mention during this entire scene, Chris was doing her pan did right shoulder roll like every two seconds that, you know, where she moves her right shoulder forward and puts her chin down to it like, I don't know. She did like 12 times, like she was about to go swimming somewhere with her shoulders.

Like, it's like, doesn't that hurt your ear? It's like she's hitting her ear with her shoulder. Like, she's like a horse that doesn't have hands to brush away the fly on its ear. Ha ha ha ha ha. Seriously, seriously. So then we go to Villa Rosa, where Lisa Vanderpump is just casually sitting in bed in her pajamas

with a full face of makeup, has one off to always wears the bed. And can- Oh Villa Rosa, you mean. Villa Rosa, what did I say? Little Blank'm like, she has a bed in the restaurant. That is so nice. Well, maybe it's like the other place that has the Murphy bed. Plattering. We said, we'll have to bed. So yeah, yes, in the restaurant, let's put down the bed. Can mix sex jokes for people eats.

The cat the falling falling branches though. So, yeah, so Ken comes up with like a little tray of tea, which was so adorable. I have in the way I didn't understand what's going on. And he's like, ah, everyone's on a tree. And she's like, Ken, I was thinking, should we open up a new young restaurant, groomed someone to take it over.

And I'm like, I can't even imagine what Lisa Vanderpump's version a new young restaurant, groomed someone to take it over, and I'm like, I can't even imagine what Lisa Vanderpump's version of a young restaurant would be like, it's probably like, let's put in lots of antiques and planters and have cocktails and strawberries and them in lots and lots of white flowers. Oh, the youth of America would love it. I see an entire restaurant done in handicap rails And I have a vision for the music. It should all be Argentinian modern jazz young people love that Maybe we can get Rod Stewart to do a couple of covers

Most terrifying thing to ever happen on my Alexa I was like hey Alexa play some jazz and some jazz. And it's like, Oh, the way it looks. That. Oh, Maggie. May. So let's see this is this is them obviously launching. Uh, either spin off or something for next season. Like this is a spin off. And this is also Lisa admitting that her cast is too old to be on this show It's like 40 year old waiters, you know, so she's like we need a younger show Tom can be the old one

Yeah, so they're gonna put Tom as the leader of this new restaurant which sounds fucking hilarious to me Yeah fucking hilarious to me. Yeah, that's up for you. Oh, Lala, didn't show up for work. I just want the best for you, man. And Tika's, but I made you some tea and she's like, oh, you're so random, you naughty boy. Because, well, how about I get in there? We watch a program together. She's like, oh, you you set it down you bad boy

I don't really want to watch MCI else only to these two with like Matlock reruns equal boners yeah first I was confused because I was he was like well I think I'm getting ready to watch some TV you want to watch some TV and just like staring at her and I was like oh is he Trying to be sexual. No, is he just want to watch TV show? I think he just wants to watch TV show I thought he was like implying he's gonna watch it. So you can play sex with everything. Hey Alexa stop the music. I mean seriously You want me to stop the music? She can hear me all the way in the bedroom. This mansion I call Vila Rondle. Sorry to everybody who's Alexa I just turned on. Alexa, play Kaliapi music. Sorry everyone, little practical Jake.

Everyone's so mad. Do you think Alexa're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, the barber. They're all doing shots and things are going crazy and you know

It would not be a fun night unless something fell on Katie's head and sure enough Tom Tom Schwartz is grinding on Katie and a full on picture Flamples on her head Perfect She made the weirdest noise It's perfect. She made the weirdest noise. It was like, woo! And then he pulls out his dick and tries to get it hard. This whole scene, wow. Let's see. They have highs and lows. Okay, so this is where they start telling us about their relationship. So they're like, see? Everyone's like fucking in a bar. Everything's okay. And he goes, yeah, things with Katie,

like, wait, hold on oh no first Sheenah time since she's like came in time have highs and lows but like eventually gravity comes in and I just hope they don't crash down like says the woman speaking from a giant intent in the ground you are forgetting that she is dumb Allison Du Bois. If you're getting so many things. Then the guys start, then Tom and Katie talk about their relationship separately. And Katie's like, yeah, well, maybe everything's not perfect, but we're going to like put this in a bottle and we're not going to deal with it anymore until after the wedding and there will reopen the bottle. Sounds so healthy. Good luck with that. Hey, have you ever have you ever left a champion bottle out on a summer's day? Guess what happened? That court goes flying off on its own. So good luck.

And then he said something basically the same thing. He's like, let's just pretend none of this happened and we'll try and fight later after the wedding after we're married. You do. Don't worry about something. I'm letting you know everything. Yeah, it is crazy. It is crazy that people actually think that. That people in modern times with access to just the most basic psychotherapy, the most basic, you know, articles about, you know, what's healthy and what's

not, would actually go on TV and say, we're just going to bottle it up and we'll just, we'll uncork the bottle later. It'll be fine. I will to ignore it until it explodes and causes a divorce. Sounds great, guys. Okay, you guys are the messiest couple and then there's this scene and you're still the, the messiest couple. So then we go to everybody packing up and say and she and I are in their room and he's like, yeah, you never hear Shay talk, you know, so suddenly Shay is like doing a monologue, which already this is like a red flag with Shay is talking, okay? Everybody listen. So he's like, yeah, you know what I learned? Like, I was

watching them and I could see because I wasn't drunk. So I could see that, like, you can't fight when you're drunk because like in order to have a relationship, you have to be able to listen and see what it goes. Yeah, but is that okay for my suitcase? Run me my suitcase. She's like, where's the steamer? I think I'll help you to one of each other prime steamers.

It's like, I love steamers. I love both clams and steamers for my clothes. Yeah, so what I'm saying, you understand, right? Like listening, like it's important to listen to the other person. I think I found the steamer. Good. It killed me. It was so funny.

And anytime she has a question about her relationship, just watch this scene on the loop because this will pretty much explain it all to you. But to be fair, to Sheena's credit, she has yet to say anything that is remotely interesting or insightful about anything. Well, that's not why she married him. She married him because he was a dumb lug that would, you know, just always kind of be there on the couch, keeping it warm while her print of canvases stared at him. He clearly had a print of canvas hookup. That's what it was. What? You got 30% off all print of canvases?

You're mine. You know someone who works at CVS? That's like having a tenage dick. She's like, I can't wait to get, I can't wait to audition for one of CBS's pilots. And she found out too late that CBS was a drugstore. I just subscribed to CBS on Access. Oh God. So that's pretty much the end of this episode.

So funny. And I like it. Katie and Tom just left a big inflated dick in their room. Yeah. Like, by Vegas, by last hard dick I'm going to see for a while. Yeah, and I'm sure none of them tipped with the wait staff. Now, that was their, yeah, with the maids, yeah. That was their, their tip, a four-local covered.

Fear bottles of water in the dick. Yeah. All right, everyone. Well, that brings water in the dick. Yeah. Alright everyone, well that brings us to the end. We will talk to you tomorrow for the ever so wonderful real housewives of Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills, and by the way if you um I messaged some people on Patreon for the listener spotlight and no one's gone back to me. So if you don't get back to me, you won't be spotlighted tomorrow. Oh, damn. Damn, that's not nice.

No, that's just my reminder to be like, check your Patreon messages. Because I know not everyone checks them. Check them. So that way I can put the spotlight in people. And also tomorrow's Beverly Hills Thursday is marriage medicine with mail back. And that was suit. We really went in on marriage. That was super fun fun and then Friday summer house. My favorite show. Yes, we'll be back then. We love you guys. Thanks for everything.

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