Watch What Crappens - #403 Married2Med: 50 Shades of Recurrent Decay

Episode Date: March 3, 2017

"Married To Medicine" finished out its season on a high note. Or was it a low note? Either way, it was part 2 of the reunion, and we learned that Jackie's marriage is really in trouble, Dar...ren is NOT gay (not that there's anything wrong with it), and Mariah has recurrent decay around those chicklets of hers that she calls crowns. Come listen to us break it all down and then afterwards, Crappens Mailbag! 00:00:00 - Intro / Married 2 Med 00:55:01 - Crappens Mailbag See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who crap is
Starting point is 00:00:31 Who crap is Who crap is Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much Who crap is Who crap is Hey everyone, welcome to Watch or Crap In the Podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBlog.com and the Bantra Blender podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:03 And joining me is the O.A. Solaris. It's an always wonderful and insightful Ronnie Kerim from TrashTalkTV.com. And the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast and real, I'm sorry. And yeah, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, audiobooks, also. John, what's up Ronnie? Are you doing baby?
Starting point is 00:01:20 Oh, you know, just getting through the week. You know how I do. Getting through. Getting through, how are you doing? DracoL week. You know how I do getting through. Get it through. How are you? Druggle of the week. The show doing good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:29 Today is our Mary de Medicine episode. It's the end of the season of Mary de Medicine. Yeah. And I started writing these notes kind of dry on Friday night. And I was like, well, I'm going to watch something anyway. I might as well just take my Mary de Medicine notes. And I was like, well, I'm going to watch something anyway. I might as well just take my married to medicine notes. And they're crazy. It looks like a weird poem. It says tonight, Darren, Mariah, dingy, dirty, dusty, your mother, men
Starting point is 00:01:55 calling me daddy weird. Well, if it's, if it's any consolation, I also wrote strange notes on Saturday at like midnight. So this is going to be a crazy episode. You posted something. Uh, yeah, you posted on the Instagram account. They were like, I'm watching this at 245 in the morning. And it's just crazy to me right now.
Starting point is 00:02:19 And it was after I spent all Saturday, I don't know why I spent all Saturday posting awesome DuVois gifts onto our Instagram page I hope we didn't I hope I didn't scare off any any I mean I was to see wow really For someone who's only done one episode. I mean that wasn't iconic episode Iconic and so many wonderful gifts came out of it. I mean so many expressions so many sayings It's perfection. I know when your family's going to die. Know that.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Know that. You will never emotionally fulfill you. Know that. I love that about me. What that electric cigarette? Oh, it's so good. So good. But anyway, today, we're here to talk about the final episode of the season for Mary to Medicine. It was the part two of the reunion and macro note very funny hour. This was hilarious. Yeah, it really was. And it started with horror music. It was like like really scary music and then you hear someone's phone ringing
Starting point is 00:03:24 Don't like really scary music and then you hear someone's phone ringing Toya left her rigour on or something who left her ring grotto's toya, right? I Don't even remember that part to be honest. Oh, yeah, it was I think it was toya because that's so toya Yeah, and her ring is just like Ling Ling Ling Ling I'm surprised she doesn't have one of those iPhone cases that has the little bunny ears. You know those stupid those gigantic ones. Yeah, why would anyone add more voluntary size onto their iPhone?
Starting point is 00:03:57 Yeah, those things are humongous. So, Andy's medical puns. Like, we're back. A pill for a pill for heat is a dose of shade. Go Andy. Gonna be a whole hour of this. And it was. Yeah, it, yeah, pretty much it was.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Um, yeah, the, the, uh, the show opened, essentially with a montage of all the shady moments from the season which was great because they were hilarious and Quad was Mariah and Quad just talking total nonsense. Yeah, pretty much because they had had that moment where Quads Quads said I'm sorry Mariahiah said that quad without makeup hair and makeup. Oh, that's Mr. Potato Hut, donnie. And then when they come back out of the package, then they cut to quad and she was trying to be cool with it. She was like, oh Miss Mariah. I'm like, you're so mad.
Starting point is 00:05:05 You just want to calm and like down with it, but you are furious inside. It's okay for them to shade me on it. I've been called everything under the sun. But I haven't said anything. Like, yeah. Right. Quad was so good at speaking really loudly
Starting point is 00:05:22 and like always announcing everything. Like, never did a thing.. Like you are such a liar. Yes. I mean, you're not. She's not as bad as Mariah, but she still was bad. I like at the end when she's like, Mariah, I don't even care what you do. Oh, no, I don't say a thing about Mariah. And I don't try and make anyone not shoot with you. I'm like, why is there no montage of Quad in the car, mad that they invited Mariah here, mad that they invited her there? Because it's throughout the
Starting point is 00:05:50 whole season girl. Come on. Yeah. Seriously. And you know, sometimes you don't have to say something to throw shade. I mean, just look at that episode where she left $50 at the door for Mariah and Aiden to get transportation home. I mean, that's one of the shittiest things you could do. Okay, so sometimes you don't have to say it to be shady. Yeah, she's like, well, gas is expensive, honey. And they're poor, honey. They're poor, they're poor, they're loose, then a loose leaf binder inside of a basketball game. I loved in this one sheet when they showed the clip
Starting point is 00:06:29 Mariah with her pop eye going, I like heavenly when she was fat. I mean, that's just the truth. She was a nice person when she was fat. Oh, that's actually, I think the clip I put on Instagram because that starts with what how does it go? She goes, are you are you fat? Are you pregnant? What was it that they're saying to each other that clip starts off with them saying something so crazy?
Starting point is 00:06:53 I can pull it up I can pull it up and I should note that Dr. Heavenly herself liked that clip so I'll pull it up right now going to our Instagram page Instagram.com slash watch what happens everyone Here we go. Here we go volume up I like having a better when she was fat. She was nicer when she was a little bit chubby I'm sorry tell you the truth. That's why I call a S another professor Okay, that's sorry I'm gonna loop around you hungry you pregnant Sorry, I had to look at a loop around you hungry you pregnant
Starting point is 00:07:33 Yeah, but I like how Mariah also defended her shade and she's like honey my shade isn't the worst or the darkest Kind of is it's about but it's right trying to act like a victim. Just does not work She's a horrible fucking human being she's awful and she's even ruined Aiden I mean Aiden's a horrible human being now. I don't even like seeing him and usually he's not I'm glad his plugs didn't work out. You see that's a very Mariah thing. I just said what who but Mariah Sure shade can be some of the funniest on the show. Who do you think has the funniest shade, Mariah or Heavenly? Well, I'd like Heavenly's better. I feel like Mariah's just made up stuff.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Mariah doesn't really go for truth in shade. She just wants to be a bitch. Heavenly's a bitch, but she picks real things and I think that cuts deeper. Yeah, I mean, it's hard to say, especially last episode when they were going at each other and Ryan was calling Heavenly a bullfrog and Heavenly was saying you need to come to the office to clean up. That was really funny.
Starting point is 00:08:34 To me, that was the Super Bowl of Shade right there of this cast. I will say, I think I'd like Heavenly's Shade more. I think Heavenly on the whole is just, I feel like she's always shady and always funny and everything she says and she slips that, she can switch into Shade mode so quickly. But Mariah, some of the shade she has said has made me lose my shit.
Starting point is 00:08:58 I mean, when that Mr. Potato head comment was on another level for me. Yeah, that's why Mariah will keep a job. She's just more of a worst when it comes to actual, actually confronting people. She'll say whatever she wants in the testimonials, but then when she's actually confronted with these businesses, she's like, well, okay. Yeah, that's a thing. You haven't really.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Yeah, I feel like heavenly, heavenly. Yes, I agree 100% that Mariah she wills Which I actually almost makes me feel bad for Mariah sometimes because I think at the end of the day I think she's someone who's hurt and doesn't know how to really deal with her feelings and so she just sort of reacts With this whoa is me thing that's really annoying but at the same time I feel bad because I know I can see that she's hurt But at the same time I feel bad because I can see that she's hurt. But at the same time, I love how Heavenly is just a bulldozer. I mean, even this, even that this part of the show, when Mariah was saying that her
Starting point is 00:09:54 shade is not the darkest or whatever, Heavenly just comes in and is like, TARCH ROOTH Mariah! And she's saying how, you know, your jealous of Quad, Quad came in, became more popular than you are, and you're jealous, and you'll always be jealous Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Everyone likes quad, and you're not shit Yeah, everyone likes, everyone likes quad more than you I think quad gets all up in her Sophia from the color purple thing. She's like you try to make them hate me But they love me more baby girl.
Starting point is 00:10:32 So dramatic. Emorah is like, well, that's called double standards. And because you guys don't listen to anything. And then they just cut her off. And Troy is like, the bio, you're even trying to be our friends. And Mariah's like, well, some of you, maybe. You are such a fail at every turn. A real fail. So then there's actually a moment with Simone and Mariah. And I do feel like with Simone, I do feel like Mariah is genuine. I don't think that Mariah is ever trying to be shady.
Starting point is 00:11:01 I do, you can see, every time there's a discussion of Simone and Mariah, Mariah starts to like her little chin starts to quiver a little bit. She does the papa-eye face, as you say, and it's like severe. I mean, you could practically see the little pipe, but when Andy's asking, so Samona Mariah, you know, because you guys ever gonna be a friends again. And I love how Moriah is basically saying that, you know, with time, they could be friends and Simone's like, I don't know. I don't think so. Do I get that right? That's not what happened or is that just a mic?
Starting point is 00:11:39 Mine notes literally are so crazy, okay. Here's my notes. Q, it felt like Q, Simone, why you Mariah apart Simone, she thinks I take sides as is and Q, can you work out and then has let's talk about the T. Yeah, that's Mariah. I don't need to talk to no east of bunny. So well, there you go. Those are my notes. Well, you know what was great because because that's the thing, because there's this moment where heavenly and Simone are being peaceful and then I'm not heavenly. Mariah and Simone and heavenly is like, Dad, I don't forget that she made fun of your
Starting point is 00:12:15 truth there. And then what I loved, see here's, this is where going back to our thing about heavenly versus Mariah who gives better shade. Heavenly gives professional shade because she she just turns to Mariah and she's like you have a current to carry on those chickens to crowns. And Mariah's like let's talk about yours because you were Dennis and you have an over-and-and-under-by and Heavenly's like yes And your breath stinks too I was like you dingy dirty
Starting point is 00:13:02 Disgusted hustling stupid low ugly dumb like okay, you can stop now. We get it Mariah and heavily just goes that's your mother Your mama And then he's like hey get it not the mama not the mama. I'm like yes, Andy. We all remember dinosaurs we all saw that awful show and Mariah tells her I let you talk. Why can't I talk? Like she hasn't been talking the whole time. Yeah. Because besides being a shady bitch,
Starting point is 00:13:31 you only work on the outside, but not the inside to talk about another woman's body. How dare you, how dare you? Like, Heavenly, her whole plot this season was about working on her in the air. And all you ever done is call her fat. So I don't know who the hell you're talking about, lady. Yeah, that was definitely some two, like, 2016, 2017, massaging of the facts and regurgitating them in a way where you suddenly are the victim. Yes, Mariah should be in politics.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Yeah, she really should. She really should. So then Jackie starts to get into it with Mariah because she starts saying that Mariah is a puppet master to Lisa. And Jackie gets real cold, real quickly. And she's like, it's a lack of intelligence. When you don't sit and process what I'm trying to say,
Starting point is 00:14:29 and always make it bad. I was like, whoa, Jackie. And then, man, I was like, I think that's condescending. And then, Jackie's just like, you have this body language that is such a turn off. It is such a turn off. Right, I was sitting there with arms crossed, angry, snorling at her, what body language, what body language? Yeah. And whereas like you're so condescending, I'm like, no, actually she's down and you straight up.
Starting point is 00:14:53 Do you know what condescending is? Are you idiot? And she's like, you're so condescending. When you don't listen and you say, I'm just going to go sit with them and not listen to all sides. I'm like, she has heard your side. Yeah. Okay. Everyone. And then she tried to make it a woman thing. She's like, you do women at a service when you claim one of these successful women. Because you're manipulated by anyone. I'm like, shut up, Mariah.
Starting point is 00:15:17 Mariah and Conway. That's what she's doing right there. No, Mariah. You, like, first of all, I actually disagree. I don't think Mariah is a puppet master to anyone. No, no. She you like first of all, I actually disagree. I don't think Mariah has a pop of master to anyone. No, no, she tries. She tries, but I like that venture, a little quiz, but you can see their mouth leaving.
Starting point is 00:15:31 Yeah, like they're terrible at it, but I give a standing ovation to Jackie, because Jackie basically just told Mariah what I think a lot of people have been thinking all along that Mariah ultimately, her biggest downfall, she never really listens to what people say They never listens to the criticism as she doesn't take it in and You know that's basically what Jackie was saying is like you just don't have the the the capacity The intelligence to synthesize this information. We're giving you and use it to improve yourself So now I'm a sense size of playing
Starting point is 00:16:01 you and use it to improve yourself. Check out. Oh, now I'm a sense size of playing. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
Starting point is 00:16:12 wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Jacky goes, uh, while holding a grudge and remembering things different and remembering things are different. And Mariah goes, well, no one is perfect. That is my least favorite argument of all time. Yeah. Anyone makes like, I'm not perfect. It has nothing to do with what I said right now. You just expect perfection. You know, and Jacky goes, you made me perfect. I never said I was perfect.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Like Jackie, you just dropped the mic and walked away. Well, to be fair, Mariah did make a strong point, which is that she said to Jackie, you're shady also, you just do your shade in a different way, which is true too. But I always enjoy a slice shade. And by the way, throughout all of this, I'd like to add the producers were so funny. They just kept cutting to Janice and she'd either be like nodding along seriously or smiling happily and then back to nodding seriously.
Starting point is 00:17:15 I just love the red. I love the red. I love the red. I love the red. I love the red. I love the red. I love the red. I love the red. I love the red. I love the red.
Starting point is 00:17:23 I love the red. I love the red. I love the red. I love theice is like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Very serious. For road brow, just nodding. And then it would be like, and now here's talking about the father's death. And Janice is laughing. I was like, what is wrong with these cutaways? Poor Janice.
Starting point is 00:17:40 Yeah, I hope they, I don't think Janice just so we could watch her face for another year because it's hilarious and add insult injury They're like and now let's bring out all the husbands and every single husband was there except for Janice's Oh for Jimmy's see he bright and want to get attacked by heavenly again Jesus. Yeah Exactly. Daddy, what happened to your children? Dad, see, daddy, daddy, you have your children. I can see your children, daddy. When they called out, when they called out the husband's toy, it goes,
Starting point is 00:18:13 Oh, now Heavenly will behave because I know she wouldn't say anything negative for the daddy. So Andy is basically obsessed with Darren for whatever reason, for the rest of this, which I don't really get. Oh, I had a theory about it, but I forget what it was. I don't really get it. It's really awkward. Darren is a compulsive liar. All he does is lie the entire season. Whether or not he's gay, I mean, I get it if Andy says something like, dude, why are you guys always using being gay
Starting point is 00:18:45 as the worst insult ever? You know, I could get if he said something like that, but he's just going too hard for Darren. But Darren's just a piece of shit. Like, you can't edit the show. If this is all in editing and it's just edited to make him look like a composer of wire, then that's your fault.
Starting point is 00:19:01 You're a producer on this show. Otherwise, I think Andy, the reason why he was defending Darren so much is to be fair, I mean, even though Darren really set himself up, even though Lisa Nicole later on when she said you just keep saying stupid shit is true, I mean these women really did attack his character. I mean, Darren has, he does have a family and he is being, you know, put out there on national TV as being closet at gay and it comes up over and over again. It is, you know, that's, those are, those are fine words, you know, if you're like a straight man, it's obviously we're gay. It's there's nothing wrong with being gay, but if you're straight,
Starting point is 00:19:39 you know, that's any of a family. That's, that those are sort of words that could actually really mess up the kids. But on top of that, Darren later says something about how, if you said black ass instead of gay ass, that would be really offensive. And I pardon you think that actually Andy was offended by that moment. And that's why he was standing up for Darren.
Starting point is 00:19:58 That was my theory. Now I remember it. Yeah, I just think if Darren, if the whole season wasn't full of Darren, just lie, lie, lie, lie lie lie lie all he does is lie He's like I never said anything to the guy what what what I never said anything to the guys Uh, of course I want a baby and then he cuts to dare and telling the guys now I don't want a baby
Starting point is 00:20:17 We just a liar in an asshole and he and he got off easy because they didn't even they really didn't even get into his Lies about going to Hawaii about first it was he had to work and then it was that he heard his arm playing basketball and then he did an LA for a night. Yeah, and then it was that he missed his connection. They could have gone in further and they didn't probably because Andy hurting his arm. I mean, at the end of the day, it's probably as simple as Andy probably just felt so bad for this guy who had dug such a grave for himself and had all these harpies just clawing at him and he's
Starting point is 00:20:49 And he's like this poor guy can't even defend himself. Maybe I can help him because he's like he's literally too stupid to defend himself Like you cannot speak the sentences. I mean, so Andy's like so it starts with him just putting him in the victim place. And Darren just starts laughing it up right away. He's like, Andy, I'd like to say you gain a new friend. You know, I'm not gay. Like, it's not that kind of friend, like not the kind of friend. Like, we're not going to make out or anything, but like the way that you stood up for me, like later, like that valid, like validate me wanting to suck the dick. I'm like what are you even taught just be quiet Darren. I know the more he tried
Starting point is 00:21:30 to be just sound open-minded and I can't think of the word progressive or or or consider it the more he sounded guilty. The more he sounded like that death approach. I got for me like it made me want to suck your day. So I mean, I'm not there. Anything. Not that there's anything wrong with it. I mean, I'm not gay. I'm not gay at all. I'm really not gay.
Starting point is 00:21:51 But I'm your new friend, new friend, you know, sort of friend, like the way the way you went to bat for me made me want your bat in me. You know what I mean? Andy and he's like, OK, move on. You got to listen to the words that are coming out of your mouth to quote a rest development. Another husband not coming off all that great is Curtis.
Starting point is 00:22:11 God bless his heart. And I don't even disagree with Curtis' issues from this season, but God, he's just not good at getting people on his side. Well, he is turned into a major crab and he was saying, I think Andy asked the guys, what does it feel like to be recognized on the street, etc. And Curtis is like, it's weird not having an identity. I mean, I'm just Dr. Jackie's husband. I'm like, welcome to being a woman, okay? Welcome
Starting point is 00:22:36 to being a woman, sir. And what were you before? Like, she's still a really good doctor with gym teacher. Sorry, sorry, you're not known for being the gym teacher at the high school. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but sir, do you know how many women, honestly, for decades and decades and decades are known as the wife of so and so, okay? You know, get some perspective here.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Yeah, exactly. Well, the question was, do the husbands get fans stop them in the street and stuff? And then daddy's like, well, people calling me daddy is weird. Like, yeah, your wife calling you daddy is weird too. You can't have both ways, buddy. He's like, I think it's really weird when Darren comes out to me and calls me daddy. Hey, daddy.
Starting point is 00:23:19 I like the day. I like that they put in a little clip of Aiden dancing. Yeah, that's good. Aiden a couple of times this season got dance fever and I'm just custody it's awkward dancing and where I was like my husband has soul but no rhythm. This is true. So now so for me the, the best part about this season, as everyone knows, I always complain that there's nothing really real going on with this show, but actually this season, I have to eat my own words because I feel like the stuff with Jackie and her husband was very, on this episode, it was intense. Andy was asking where they are now. What's going on?
Starting point is 00:24:11 Does Curtis have any regrets? And Curtis is saying that he- Some marriages have high temperatures and some have low temperatures, leaving some relationships in intensive care. Sorry, this is the medical stuff. You're right, That deserves to be. Carry on. Carry on.
Starting point is 00:24:29 So it was interesting because Curtis was saying, you know, he regrets everything he regrets that there had to be disagreement. This, this, this, this, this. And I don't know if you know this, but they just kept on cutting to Jackie and she's just sitting there silent. You know, she was biting her tongue. She had so much to say about this and she was like, I'm not going to get into it on TV because a, once I open up the floodgates, they're all coming, everything's coming out and b, I'm afraid I'm going to do some serious average this relationship right
Starting point is 00:24:57 now if I speak. And this motherfucker will walk out on me right now. Yeah. It was kind of attitude still after all this time. And he's like, I love someone in C-Sule, but my foremost interest is my merits in my house. And I'm like, he just were kind of an asshole. I'm sorry, that's so hard for you to face, but you were an asshole. Yeah. I get that. I actually do get that sentiment, but that to make that bad line right then and there you're just you were just actually being an asshole Curtis I'm sorry I actually like you Curtis I like you and Jacky. She let her go to Hawaii alone which only hurt things.
Starting point is 00:25:35 You didn't cry? Yeah that's not yeah exactly and so then during all this then Eugene interrupts and he's like he's like well you know I'm a big worker bee. I work, I throw myself into my work, but I know I've got balance in this and he's saying how you can balance. And I wanted to give a standing ovation to Jackie because she was like, you know what,
Starting point is 00:25:57 there's a double standard. You know, if you're a hardworking man, working hard to provide for your family, working long hours, people applaud you for that, but if you're a hard working man working hard to provide for your family working long hours people applaud you for that but if you're a hard working hard working woman you know people say you're not there enough for your family etc. and I I agree with Jackie on that. Well yeah I do too but it's also just a totally different situation because Eugene is married and has children and he has a different like Toria doesn't work. So yeah, she spends more time alone and she's there taking care of the kids, but that's her job.
Starting point is 00:26:29 And so that's his job is to be working and bringing all the money that, as Lori Ann says, Toria, Toria income, destroyer is spending. So, you know, that's a little different. I think Curtis is just like we're getting older. We don't have a family and we are each other's family. And like it would be nice to have dinner with some while. And she's like, okay, share your eye-cow with me. I mean, yeah, I mean, I get that too, because the difference is that Eugene is working extra hard because he's got a bunch of little tics running around that he's got to support.
Starting point is 00:27:02 And Toya, who is one of the tics as well. But Jackie doesn't really have, like, she's working really hard, little tics running around that he's got to support Antoya, who is one of the tics as well. But Jackie doesn't really have, like, she's working really hard, but it's not like she has kids that you know, or that they, it's not, they don't have, probably they don't have the same financial burdens that come with having a full family and that's not to be shady about that situation. But that's true. I do think though, I think that there is a double standard, but I also agree that perhaps
Starting point is 00:27:27 that double standard situation may not totally apply here. But well, I can see how he'd want to spend more time with his wife, and by not coming home, she's obviously avoiding something, and I can see why he'd be frustrated instead. But on the other side of that coin, you have to be someone that someone wants to come home to. That's true. Like, why the hell would she want to come home to some scallowing asshole every single line you know who's gonna play all these emotional games with her you know the turns around to a pancake every time they have sex my goodness. I would love to spend time with you but I need to recover from from master. from from master. Yeah, exactly. But I'm just gonna only take so there's only so many calcium supplements a woman can take. Yeah. And meanwhile, Cecil tried to help the situation and he really didn't. He was like, you know, I used
Starting point is 00:28:16 to work super hard, but then I had kids. Like, Cecil, I think that's not. You're just kind of reminding, reminding Jackie of the voids in her life. So thanks for no thanks. Yeah. Curtis is a, I mean, Cecil is a very nice man, but you don't get to just be everybody shrink. And I really hate that he does that.
Starting point is 00:28:38 He puts himself in that position. And I'm glad he got called out later for being an asshole. Yeah. Because he does say some shitty things behind people's back. I think Cecil and Simone are great. I think they are two of the most intelligent people on the cast, maybe even Bravo. But this was just not his finest. I think he can't be intelligent all the time as evidence by our own podcast.
Starting point is 00:29:03 Yes, and no one asked your advice. Cecil. So shut up. And by the way, also props to heavenly for jumping in and saying, you know, you know, no disrespect, Curtis, but I think Jackie has a calling. And you and that's, that's important too. And I thought that was a very nice point to make. Yeah. She's basically like, she's bringing lives into the world.
Starting point is 00:29:23 And you know, I'm not saying that that's better than, you know, coaching basketball, but it's better than coaching basketball. So shut up. How about that? But so the question Andy's like, so how are you guys now, which obviously not they're not doing great? Yeah, this was not very well, but Jackie goes into her kind of victim things. She's like, well, I love Curtis. And he deserves someone to make him happy. And he deserves not to be miserable. And if I'm making him miserable, then I hope he can find someone makes happy. The ladies are like, oh, my, are you with me?
Starting point is 00:30:01 you're like, I'm out of my mind. You can't win. I'm kidding. It was actually a very, not poignant, but it was sad. It was a sad moment. Sad. I forget the right words. Like, yeah, but you just dropped a big bomb right now.
Starting point is 00:30:16 She's like, you smell that. And then Curtis is just behind her looking all angry, you know, eating hardwild eggs. And he basically learned that they have bouts of not talking. And that's sad. That's not a good sign. And it was definitely a very real sad and unfortunately, probably very relatable moment. And I feel bad for Dr. Jack Yan Curtis, but I'm also happy that the show was able to go in that place. Because sometimes, you know, I feel like this show can just be silliness. And I like that there's also still control, you know, and like she's really good at getting
Starting point is 00:30:54 what she wants on camera. She's always got something she's promoting. She's always got her, she's always got her game plan down. And so for her to be one of the, she, I'm sure she never thought this shit would happen to her, where you're, you know, your home marriage is kind of worth to part on camera. She's one of the least likely candidates for that to happen. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:11 So it sucks to see it, but it's also kind of nice to see some realist shit going on, you know. And I think the subtext here that is going on is that the, is that the TV show is getting you in the way of the marriage. Because they kept on saying things like, you know, have your calling Jackie and deliver the babies and that's important, but maybe cut out some of the other stuff, you know, because Jackie is also, she helps people with breast cancer, she does this and stuff, and they're not saying cut that stuff out, but she also has her fit as the new it,
Starting point is 00:31:43 she has all this stuff, and that stuff is kind of driven by the reality show. I don't think she would be doing fit as the new it and whatever seminars or whatever bullshit she's doing if she didn't have a reality show that she's trying to capitalize off of. So I think at the root of all this is the show. And I hope that they are not victims to Bravo
Starting point is 00:32:04 as so many other couples are, are but I kind of hope they are I hope she just leaves his ass and goes to find somebody better. I mean, I don't want that for her I really like Jackie and I think this guy is a prick and it seems like he uses the show against her in arguments You know like not showing up to Hawaii is just a dick move It's three months of your life. You're shooting the show Curtisice. And she also deserves a guy who will honor, you know, a, like her desire to adopt some kids. Yeah, exactly. He's gotten his way this whole time and she's done everything he wants
Starting point is 00:32:35 and then he has no sensitivity when it comes like when he went, even when she came up with her, came out with her reasons rather about feeling lonely because of the kids. And she didn't, I think, because she said, well, that would be selfish of me because I agreed to not have children. So it would be unfair for me to throw that in his face, you know. But he's just totally insensitive with that. And he always gets his way and he's still miserable.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Sometimes like, country assholes, just a country asshole. And you need to walk away from him. You know, there is no changing people. Just leave them. You can do better. Get a doctor. You know, you know, you can find some handsome doctors always working too. You know what they really need?
Starting point is 00:33:12 They need Reza Farhan and that girl to come in and do yours my errors. They can't let you put any card in on your wall. Because that's what the root of all this is. She wants to live in the city.. She wants live in the city. He wants live in the country. So where are they gonna go? Q, Reza, and the girl with a crazy hair. You have me and everything can be solved
Starting point is 00:33:33 by a couple of good episodes of Green Acres. Yeah, they just need some schematics that they'll never build, but they can just look at some schematics on an iPad and realize we are being crazy. Let's just agree on this nice house here in the suburbia. Jackie's like, I didn't think we could work this out until I saw a couch flying to the living room on an iPad. And until I saw some pot of plants hanging from the ceiling.
Starting point is 00:33:57 And I realized this shit's gotten out of control. So I didn't think we could be reconciled until I walked through a house with Resa and he talked about me fucking Curtis for a 30 minutes straight. I thought life has got to be better than this. Which would be your favorite room to give your husband a blow job in. Hey girl, he's like some fatal. God his dick must be the size of a rolling pin hug girl. Oh girl Do you like a new rug?
Starting point is 00:34:29 Thanks for coming by resin Sex-addicted weirdo. Yeah, so getting away from all this seriousness Now we go to Mariah getting turned away from Quads party. Yeah, it's's like, oh, that's too bad, Jackie and Curtis. So, Mariah didn't get into Quads' party. And Quads like, well, it tastes a lot of gas money and I didn't want to be unkind. And, okay. That's what I hated, Burmese.
Starting point is 00:34:58 That right there's what made me dislike Mariah. I know it's like funny because it's shady, but she actually believes her shit and that bothers me. Oh, well, well Quad said that. Yeah, yeah I'm sorry. I'm in quad. I'm sorry because I still love quad because quad to me You know she was I liked her because I felt she was bright. I felt she was funny and I felt she was like Genuine in a certain way, but when she does shit like that, when she goes on there and says,
Starting point is 00:35:25 I was never shady to you. And then she does shit like this. And says, no, I just was giving you gas money because it's expensive and I'm a good person. Like, this is what May has made me turn against you Quad. And I, you were one of my favorites. Yeah, I still love Quad, but she does, my ish is that she just takes herself too seriously.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Like she seems like she would have this great sense of humor because she's so funny, but then she gets so mean. And it's like you can't fight Mariah with meanness, it doesn't work. Like take a page from Simone's book. Like that's why Mariah will never fuck with Simone, you know? It's like either ignore her or just pat her on the head or whatever, but when she said that, she's like,
Starting point is 00:36:01 it takes a lot of gas money, huh? And she goes no shade, no shade. And Andy goes, okay, was that shade or was it nice? And Simone goes, that was pure shading. And then Simone goes, okay, Simone, okay. Oh, you see she has most sense of humor, you know? It's like you can sit back. Exactly, but she can't take it.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Exactly. So there's like a moment with Aiden and Greg and Greg Greg is like I Thought the message was related to you, but I guess it wasn't so you know I didn't expect to you to show up like that and it is like he was really embarrassing and Greg's like I'm sorry It's like okay. I didn't get the memo and you know You we all agreed that it's the women problem the women fight with themselves and he's like, okay Well, I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to do that and then quad goes. I wasn't trying to stunch out Like it was a pure stunt a pure pure stunt
Starting point is 00:36:57 Unless there's the producers actually the truth is there's probably the producers that no, no She wants you to come you should come anyway, and so they're like, okay, I guess we'll go Yeah, and they're like, okay, I guess we'll go. Yeah. And they're like, bring your own car. Yeah. And don't fill up with gas first. So the next, the next Andy, you know, Andy trick is no marriage has gone through more drama
Starting point is 00:37:18 than Lisa Nicole, than Lisa Nicole and Darren. Darren has foot in mouth disease. And I have a brain aneurysm right now. This clip montage of Lisa being crazy and Darren lying was amazing because we got to relive that totally psychotic moment earlier in the season, a moment that I wish I had recorded as a gift or at least gotten the audio from Lisa and Darren are crying and she has tears going
Starting point is 00:37:52 down her face and her makeup is running and her cheeks are streaky and she goes, I still want a baby! It means like calm down calm down calm down calm down calm down calm down calm down calm down calm down calm down Oh that's been that when he said I've been married for nine years and I've been faithful to her for five nine years Whatever Um Darren is just like shaking his head smiling watching it like oh, they're trying to use this against me or whatever watching it like, oh, they're trying to use this against me or whatever. It's like, first and foremost, I'm not gay. Never move in a man. Super not gay.
Starting point is 00:38:29 Not gay. Not gay at all. So, inclusion, not gay. Thank you. And he's like, well, Darren may have had a rough season. So, has he gone to the ear and nose and dig deep down in the throat, doctor? But he's basically kind of laughing at this montage and then he's like, well, you know, there was times that maybe I didn't do the best in my marriage, but, you know, I didn't
Starting point is 00:38:56 cheat. And then that's convinced me I could be a better man. Dear, and you are not doing yourself any favors. Yeah. Let me just speak quiet. And when he tries to, you know, a sur, you know, he's saying favors. Yeah, just be quiet. And when he tries to, you know, a sur, you know, he's saying, listen, I'm not gay. I'm not gay.
Starting point is 00:39:11 And this is no disrespect anyone in the LGBT, and quadrants, because, Q, Q, questioning, questioning, questioning, and like Greg has to put his hand on her shoulder. He's like, okay, just calm down, Cwad. You are now officially going overboard Sorry for that beolar. Yeah, she's like Questioning down are you questioning question I think are you like a turtle in a turn stop questioning every this is you made like a cheese doodle and a hoedown so Andy starts getting Andy starts getting kind of defensive for him and quads like oh Andy
Starting point is 00:39:58 yes sexuality is not a question honey and Andy starts getting pissed off at her. He's like, well, you know, you are saying all this stuff to her. And she goes, I never said that sweet heart doll. I never did honey pie doll sugar face. And he's like, please don't call me a doll. And he's like, go ahead, please tell you what, now call me a doll. I'm like, what if you say doll and even Andy is like, you're being rude? Emma no Panzer face And she's like why you arguing with a woman Darren why you are good and Andy's like because you're picking fights with him That's why I
Starting point is 00:40:38 Am I you I think we just answered our own question like why was Andy sticking up for Darren? Because he has some common sense. I mean, listen to this woman. It is so, it is rude. Honestly, it is rude. It's funny for us, but it's rude. And I think anyone would be like, shut the fuck up already, lady.
Starting point is 00:40:55 But it was funny. It also really bugs me, though, on this show, when they're all the men are like, well, tell your wife. Yeah. Like, excuse me. Are they owners of their wife? I hate that. It bugs me about this. So
Starting point is 00:41:06 Darren's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, please tell your wife not to call me doll. Uh, tell your wife and Eugene's like, uh, uh, Greg is like, okay, I'll tell her. By the way, I love Toya explaining herself. And she's like, no, no, what I should did was say that when I called you gay, I mean, nobody meant that in a negative way. Oh my God. Then why did you say it in the heat of an argument? It was supposed to be like a positive moment.
Starting point is 00:41:36 No one when you're fighting stops. It's like a vindictive way, which is positive. Well, they call it positive anyway. When it's in bad, when it's a bad outcome. I is they call it positive anyway when it's in bad ones about outcome? I don't get it. I also don't get bad news. Why bad news positive and negative? That's the bad news.
Starting point is 00:41:52 There's no other motions. Oh, jean. Why is the side with the nipple positive? But the flat side is the negative. I don't get it. Why is it when you make your pictures sometimes they come with negatives? Is it like sad pictures? I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and
Starting point is 00:42:34 Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya.
Starting point is 00:43:09 Oh, so, and then, and the midst of this, when Darren is fending off these people, Eugene is like, now, to be fair, you know, Toy and I were attacked too. I'm like, listen Eugene, it's just not on the same level. Like, I know it was, it was insulting to you, but it's just not on the same level. So it just stopped trying to come, stopped trying to, you know, get the same amount of sympathy. Yeah. He's like, they
Starting point is 00:43:36 make it sound like I'm one of the sons. And my wife is like beating me and she'll be in my mouth and waterboarding me. And Lisa Nicole, Gus, I should have just stopped at you don't run at you don't run me. Instead of saying, you don't run me like Eugene still runs you. But there wasn't one episode that you did not make a comment about my marriage, which is true.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Yes, but Lisa Nicole, you started this season trying to have a baby with a man who blatantly doesn't want to have a baby and was telling everybody how much you didn't want to have a baby. And you're still only talking about babies. So if you don't want the season to be about that, don't make the season about that. At the end of the day, I mean, Darren does not help things because he says, at the end of the day. I mean, Darren does not help things because he says really stupid shit all the time. But Lisa, you have some hand in this too because there are issues in your marriage and no one has any issues with the fact that you have issues, but the fact that you go out and you try to act like everything is okay, people see that as being insincere, and when people see a lack of authenticity, whether they're viewers of the show or they're
Starting point is 00:44:46 the women on this show, they are going to pounce. And they are going to tear you up until they feel like, you know, you have acknowledged that you have you're being not very truthful about a situation. And that's what I think Simone gets on her preacher Simone, where she's like, I would like to address Lisa Nicole. Now, Lisa Nicole. I love when she starts talking like this every time I get so excited. She's like, I have never attacked your character, marriage or sexuality.
Starting point is 00:45:23 I am not that type of girl a darren's like up but Actually, but your husband attacked me and said we don't know if Darren is a cheetah or not She goes well, that's true. We don't she's like I'm not some old she was like you yourself said that you've only been faithful for five out of nine You just give me a fucking break And he goes was that a 40 and slip and he's like is that gay? It was a slip, but it was not for you. It was just slip it slip of the tongue Also now I'm having sex with my mother too
Starting point is 00:46:08 slip of the tongue. Oh, so now I'm having sex with my mother too. So then they start going up there. Then Darron starts going up to Cecil and Cecil's like, what? And he's like, yeah, you were shaying, you know, you were shaying. You didn't know if I was, if I was, you know, being faithful or not. This may have happened before before Simone set or thing. But I'm sorry, Darren, you say such shady things and you do shady things. Yeah. You know, you can't get mad at Cecil for cracking a joke and like, I don't know, I don't even remember what the joke was. It was so insignificant. Yeah, he just gets all victim. But then he stands he stands up for himself by saying things like this. No, I have not cheated on my wife. Now, I have done dishonest things,
Starting point is 00:46:50 but not infidelity. I'm like, okay, so you're a chronic liar, but you didn't stick your dick in a dude. Okay, much better, Darren. Yeah, exactly. So finally, at least in a coldly else at him. Just like, finally. But I choose to do in my marriage
Starting point is 00:47:05 It's my choice and what I have to say to you There is you gotta stop saying dumb shit Yeah, she's like you're the one giving all these girls a reason to attack me You're giving them an ignition and I'm it. I'm sick of it right now. Just shut up for once in heaven. He's like, this is my stuff. You said all season. Damn.
Starting point is 00:47:33 Damn it. I'm not done. I'm not done. That's what we're trying to get out of you. Leasing the cold. Don't yell at me for your man's problems. This was just so awkward because he's awful and she's awful too trying to force a baby you know when she can't have one and Andy's like is your resentment is your resentment of the women really anger at Darren she's saying they hit a rock spot and get hurt and just trying to fry and then toy
Starting point is 00:48:15 apologizes which is just so stupid I love when toy has like strange moments of maturity it's like it's like something comes over her and she's like, I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I really hurt you. I'm really, really, really, I'm sorry. And then you know, like two seconds later, she can go back to being petty. So the husband's are excused and Curtis is like, by I'm leaving. Charming is over this one. Take a dump somewhere. Destroy a toilet. So little questions and Andy's like, which one of you would make a great president?
Starting point is 00:48:47 And heaven leaves, it's like, me, I'm a great president! Now, do you have the temperament for that? She goes, I could do this, get a title. I would love heaven leaves president. I think that would be just hilarious. I mean, I know we're currently feeling the repercussions of having a reality star as our president, but I think heavenly would work, because she would just be shady
Starting point is 00:49:10 to everyone. You got a recursive decay in that budget. Um, Putin better do something about that. Black! He's like, heaven help me how to do with Putin. That's what we call a seminar, but all is in it to it. Now Putin, do you like it and fingers up your butt doing sex? Joe, why?
Starting point is 00:49:31 He's like, whoa, wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Now, by the way, I think we should mention that Andy clearly smoked up in between these segments, because his eyes were just so rad and blood shot more so than they were earlier. You know, they they showed these breaks, you know, they show them when they're on break
Starting point is 00:49:52 and all the makeup people around fixing everyone and Andy doesn't have any of them. He started this reunion off with pink eyes and messy hair and that's how he ended it. Yeah. No one think the comb Andy. So then he's like, well, you know, it's a great way to end the season. Let's start talking about the super sad story of Simone's dad, which was of course heartbreaking, you know. So sad. No kidding.
Starting point is 00:50:20 So sad. We've been into that. I know, buddy. So let's just skip over about that. Yeah, it was just sad. It was Simone. And all the women talking about the pain of losing their father is a very, very sad moment.
Starting point is 00:50:32 But then it was like, now what about parties? He's just like, cut the quad into her somba outfit and genies with a giant wig. And he was like, what is it about these parties that brings out the feisty side of you? I'm like, maybe the booze and the producer interactions. I think that's the interventions. I think that's what it is. Also, this was to Mariah this question. He's like, so why is it that you get so worked up at these parties? And she goes, and the reason I get so worked up is because I get worked up at these parties, girl.
Starting point is 00:51:03 I'm like, okay, good answer. And then he goes, he follows up with something like, yeah, but you know, sometimes it seems like you can keep it in, but then sometimes like, you just can't keep it in. You have to yell at somebody and she's like, well Andy, if I'm quiet, I'm quiet. And if I talk, I talk. Like, why are you are you even near I know you even understand these questions and At one point quad chimed in with something that made no sense to me It's like we were waiting for a good quadism and here it came she goes that little girl don't want me to make tomato soup. I was like what? Yeah, she goes I'm so sick of that baby and whereas I Yeah, she goes, I am so sick of that baby. And whereas I, Quatt, do not call me baby.
Starting point is 00:51:46 And she's like, you called me a little girl, a little girl with tomato bisque. That little girl don't want me to make this girl with tomato bisque fight. I, I don't know. I mean, I'm all for product placement, but Campbell's has really got to get out of this mess. And then this is where she starts going off on her. I never tell these girls that they can't hang out with you. I don't care if you're around. I'll just ignore you. These girls have their own problem with you, which is stupid because I mean, they do all have their own
Starting point is 00:52:20 problems, but Kuaad has been trying to get her shaded out for a long time. Yeah. So basically then they just do this positive. And he's like, well, I've thoroughly ruined all of your lives. So now let's go around and say something nice about each other. Yeah. Oh my God. Hey, when Andy does his stupid group therapy at the end, he has these women tear each other down for nine hours on the set. And then it's like, now see something nice. Oh, God. So they basically they're all like, well, she's a woman and has a baby. Okay. Oh, something Andy ends up. He's like, well, thanks for
Starting point is 00:52:56 an incredible season. Hopefully we won't see any of you at the ER anytime soon. Okay, just Polo lights. We should mention it was at this point that after all this heavenly is He's like so heavenly are you and Lisa? I forget what the phrase was but basically friends are not friends and have his like You know, you know, I didn't know all the heaven. I didn't know of all these issues when I was going in and I probably wouldn't have gone in if I know But then I couldn't help myself and so I don't know I guess she's a great friend best friend ever. He's like what? And then handling is like I have no real feelings towards you. I have no real feelings towards you. Yeah, mama I have none Well, why would you have ill feelings towards Lisa Nicole? I've known. At least it's like, I don't know. Well, why would you have ill-feeling
Starting point is 00:53:46 storage lease in the call? Well, actually, they didn't even get into the fundraiser thing. Did they? I mean, not the fundraiser, the conferencing. Did they even do that? You're right. You're absolutely right. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:53:58 That was such... That was a huge thing. I would have loved to have heard both sides of that story rehash, because that was actually something I was really invested in and we did not get any of that. You're so weird and I I mean, Heavenly has a reason to be mad at for that but before that I mean it was just the whole season of Heavenly and I trust your mindless my colors of cheating Yeah, I mean
Starting point is 00:54:21 Bees of crap like she was definitely mean at least in the colon till it got to that conference thing. Yeah, they're there should have we should have gone to revisit that a little bit more, but during that, but I did like was that during that happy memory thing say something nice about someone. It was like, oh, Janice gets to talk again. It's like, or one word during the whole hour.
Starting point is 00:54:41 With her serious face, she's like, yes, well, I appreciate heaven, like, yes, well, I appreciate heavenly. Look, okay, thanks. Thanks for coming. Yeah, heavenly is very nice. And then Quads thing that she said to Mariah was so backhanded, she's like, well, you know, she believes the things that she says and she sticks with it. And there's something to be said for that, for being a stubborn, stubborn little bitch. She's stubborn as a beauty. And you know, you lose a strong back. So congratulations. Oh my God. Well, it was strong. And guess what, after all my rant and raving about how I was like, I'm
Starting point is 00:55:20 really overmarried to medicine, the show should be done. Guess what? I wound up really liking this season. Oh, brought you back around. I came back around, y'all. I really, really did. So, this show does have ups and downs, but I just think the women on the floor are so fucking funny. Leeson Nicole is really the only one I can't really stand,
Starting point is 00:55:41 which I'm surprised by. I think she's probably, I think she's actually the problem, is because she's so fake and then she brings this fake ass shit and it's hard to get involved in and then all the all the conflict seems to stem from her shit. And it's just the buy-in is not there for me. I think they should get rid of her and I think the show would be stronger because I think, you know, this happened last season too. We're last season, it got stronger towards the last,
Starting point is 00:56:05 you know, a few episodes. And if the producers can make a compelling story a little earlier, I think it would be a better show. Yeah. So, agreed. Well, we move on to do a little May-A-Bag-Bean. I think that's a great idea. That's Crappens Mailbag time. This is when our listeners get to submit questions and comments.
Starting point is 00:56:36 And we will read them on the air. If you want to do it, go to patreon.com, slash watch or crappens. And you just sign up at the Crappens ins mailbag level or above and then you can be You can do this. So um, you know, this is this mailbag. It keeps on filling up I mean we haven't had to do a new mailbag because people keep adding new stuff So how about this this comment from Mandy bowls? She says I love y'all's rennet impersonation part, can you please do her talking about Harry Hamlin's meat?
Starting point is 00:57:08 Turkey bone slash pork bone. Harry Hamlin's meat? Like at the barbecue? To be fair, Mandy wrote this question on February 1st. When it was much more relevant? Yes. Listen, baby. Sometimes you got to be
Starting point is 00:57:25 late and I owned that. Wow. Wow. Wow. Harry was actually an amazing chef. He had to learn it for a role. Harry loved learning things. He can slaughter or go himself and take off the skin and make it into delicious chicken wings. He's so talented. Wow. I don't believe I ever said anything about Harry and goat and chicken wings. She's so talented. Uh, I don't believe I ever said anything about Harry and goat and chicken wings. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That was Eden's as soon baby. She just thrown me under the bus, baby.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Harry only eats blueberries from Canada, baby. I honestly don't know what else she would say about Harry's meat. Just that she owns it, baby. I just like that she's always so impressed with everything Harry does. Yeah, I can't, I can't, I can't get the grill. Look at him like that grill baby. Who wore it? I can see her putting it on her Instagram live feed or her one of her stories.
Starting point is 00:58:21 Like, all right, there's Harry and he's working on some, oh, it looks like he's got a cabab. We love cababs, and there's the lawn, the lawn, you know what guys? The lawn's not looking good today, I have to say, the lawn's not looking good, but that meat though, it's looking good, and there's Harry hemlin' wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawaw stuff and yet I continue to watch. So I'll live about that barbecue baby. So Laurie, Laurie in coming. She says, love you, booze. Thank you for making me laugh through my stitches because I guess Laurie had a surgery. Laurie, Laurie, I don't know. Laurie has been alluding to this surgery on our Facebook page too. and we forgot to ask her on our latest hangout
Starting point is 00:59:06 But she said hell we just saw her on the Google hangout because we are self-absorbed So she says there are housewives who are naturally cray cray and who these shows are made for but there are ones who have been Reading the playbook and know all the recipes spring bitch flower soup with a hint of shit stirring spice. Who are your top contenders? For what now for a string spice. I'm not entirely sure I understand the lowest questions. Maybe you still be on the meds. Wait, say, say the last part again, some are spicy. What she says, there are ones there are certain housewives who've been reading the playbook and know all the recipes spring bitch flower soup with a hint of shit stirring spice.
Starting point is 00:59:52 Who are your top contenders? I guess for Well, let's see who's the best like he's the best download shitster like his stars the most shit, but is like Tamra subtle about it, right? Well, Tamra is not pretty subtle. Are you saying, but she's the biggest shitster for sure. I think she's the biggest shitster. I don't think there's anything here that bad having to be subtle. And shaman is like the the sous chef where she's trying to learn
Starting point is 01:00:20 but she's not subtle at all. Shaman gets caught on camera going. Give her a double. Give her a double is to Cuba. Okay, that would be great. Bethany, Bethany. Why is it about it? Bethany is kind of a shister, but she's that person who you're like working on a soup and she comes and she says,
Starting point is 01:00:33 let me taste this, let me taste this. Okay, all right, you know what this needs? It needs some salt. She just takes the salt, just throws it in there. Like, Bethany, I didn't even, this is my soup. Why did you even throw the salt in my soup? I didn't even ask if you could. Just trust me, I'll be better, it'll be better. Okay, like honestly just trust me. I'm a chef
Starting point is 01:00:47 Okay, like honestly like like literally like if you're gonna question me like I'm gonna be crying like I can't like right now I'm going through too much right now like honestly don't question about it. This all I can't literally I can't oh my god The season of that show is gonna be amazing It's gonna be So beyond it's been stalking me like seriously really who does that? Seriously, I can't seriously I can't I can't um uh Stacy Chalk she says dearest and gorgeous Ronnie and Ben I recently started listening to your podcast which is probably the most intelligent thing I've done in a long long time
Starting point is 01:01:21 no it's definitely not uh Ronnie's impersonation impressions of D'Aurinda and D'Arit make me almost pittle in my pants while I'm crying laughing. And Ben's Ramona and Caroline Fleming impressions are priceless. I can't put into words how much joy and happiness you two bring to my life. Oh, thanks Jason. I was hoping you guys would do a recap of Luein's wedding as if you were a commentators. Can you please include commentary from Ray, trash, Durinda completely drunk, and a Ramona lots of okay, I'm sorry. Maybe end with a quick wrap up from Luan, Tom and Sonia. Hey, ever notice how Luan says married like Mooried and Sonia like Sonia? I'm forever in debt to you if you can make this happen.
Starting point is 01:02:02 Love and suffoc getting hugs like from Eden signed Stacey. Oh thanks Stacey. Stacey we would absolutely love to recreate Luana's wedding as if we were doing play-by-play is from Ray DeRinda and Ragnona. Well first you know that there was a red carpet at this wedding because it's so Luana. It's like sponsored by... there's like sponsored by La Croix Waters or something. Who you wearing, bitch? Who? Who? And Ray is the, Ray is the Ryan Seacrest out front. Seriously, whoa, bitch.
Starting point is 01:02:37 Who told you about- Who told you about Carl Lagerfeld, bitch? Who told you about Carl? Oh, you're not gonna answer? That's rude. You're rude. I'm trembling in my socks right now bitch Bees a who bitch Um, and then to Rinda it was probably just like getting everyone's autograph because during this like the biggest fan of everybody all the time Oh, you do you know Lou ed too. Oh, this is so making you want to spend my paper? I know this paper.
Starting point is 01:03:05 Oh, the catch you gave us these picture books. You know Lou Ed have like programs. By the special book. Yeah, Lou and Tom, collector's edition. And you know that Ramona is the woman who's sitting in the pew, fanning herself with that program and looking back to the door every two seconds.
Starting point is 01:03:24 I think, what's going on? Taking forever. This, this, their pine, their pine, they're not, they're not going yet. You know what? This reminds me this room. I'm sorry, stay classy, you're making it one way. I'm sorry. Whoa, this reminds me of this one time. I was a little girl. I went to a wedding and I was having stuff fun time. And Geraldine Parsonsmith said, enjoy it now because you're never getting married again. And this day I can never tolerate weddings. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not surprised that Tom is making Lurean wake up or wedding because one time I played
Starting point is 01:03:56 back in with Tom at his apartment at three in the morning when he was starting to have sex with me before he even met Lurean. And he may be wait for so long. I'd be like, it's your turn, Tom. And he'd just sit there. And I'd be like, waiting, then he would just sit there. I know how she feels. At least she didn't have to find out about this. I'm even thinking like, like it did.
Starting point is 01:04:17 I hope all of you are enjoying this wedding because at least you got proper invitation, okay? At least you guys didn't get invited to page 6. Jill Zarian's like, I have a thing, Shacknado. Bappy, I think it was Bobby's birthday two days ago. She just walking, she's walking around like, anybody want a quote? It's me, Jill Zarian, from Real Housewives. All right, we have one last question.
Starting point is 01:04:46 And then we can close out this edition of the bag forever. So this is from Sharon who says, the order of precedence and royalty is King or Queen, Prince of Princess, Duke or Duchess, Marcus March, I don't know how to say it, Marching S, Marching S, Earl Countess, by Count, by Countess, and then finally Baron, Baroness. So when Julie's father-in-law dies,
Starting point is 01:05:10 and her husband becomes Earl of Sandwich, Julie will be a Countess and rank higher than Karlin Fleming. Can you give us a conversation between the Lays of London or Lads of Luns after Julie, oh, she says Julia, but Julie becomes the Countess. And she says, PS, in my work, I do some data management.
Starting point is 01:05:30 Every time I clear a data filter that I'm using, I say, clear the Flem in Ben's voice. Well, my work is done. So Julie. What's the basic? Julie Montague talking to Caroline Fleming after Julie Montague becomes a Countess and now at ranks Caroline Fleming. Oh my God. Well, you know, that's a really tough one because Julie is very tricky.
Starting point is 01:05:59 I mean, the amount of evolution we've seen Julie go through is crazy. Yeah. From being that crying lady who couldn't properly do a yoga pose at a New Year's party, to you being like, well, isn't nice castle, but she had to rent hers. Yeah. Well, I think what would happen would be that Caroline Fleming would do whatever she could to quietly take down Julie. She's like, oh, Julie, now that you two are royalty,
Starting point is 01:06:24 don't you have so many memories of growing up in blueberries fields and strawberries and raspberries running around getting comte cheese carted over to you from across any town don't you have those memories too now because you were born into royalty oh no you were not born into it oh okay it's so wonderful for you to now be a Countess when you don't have to worry about the paparazzi chasing you with Comte. How lovely Baroness like I has to deal with. How lucky for you to have me to teach you about how to be a proper Countess, because even though I am just a lowly Baroness, I have spent my entire life in royalty, whereas you are just learning about it and trying
Starting point is 01:07:14 to figure out T-Tiles. I am so happy to teach you about our lifestyle. Isn't it wonderful that the inventor of the Jubble ball Isn't it wonderful that the inventor of the jubiball has come so far in life when lonely me just has regular protein balls That are in their own cookbook supported by Simon Schuster How lucky are we how lucky are we to both be titled women in Europe? Surely you must show me all the statues of your great-great-grandfather that are around various cities of Europe. Oh, none of them? Oh, okay. We are now both royalty. I cannot wait until the day that you too can be on the New York Times best seller list. How lucky for you to soon one day be invited
Starting point is 01:08:10 to MC L Denmark's latest party. No invitation yet. I'm sure it will come soon. Hi. Hi. Hi. Oh, the sun. I'm sure it's us. I'm sure the sun shines on the both of us. But how lonely beariness can enjoy the warmth deep within her soul is a gift only the sun itself can bring. Hi! Now that you two are proper royalty, you are allowed to do a fast hands-thand.
Starting point is 01:08:46 Oh, can't you wonder, my apologies. Hopefully, with your new title, you shall be granted hundreds of thousands of Instagram followers, so you can pretend to be even close to me on said chart. How lucky for you to now be proper royalty, so you no longer have to pretend like you don't mind all the creases in your bed. Oh you never noticed the creases I see. Well how lucky for you to live in such a bubble. How lovely for you to marry into something I was simply born into. How lucky for you to get to spend the next several years of your life playing catch-up
Starting point is 01:09:31 to me. Oh, things have changed so much. For example, royalty now has to open gift shops. What timing. I wonder what it must feel like to have to stress out about I wouldn't give shops. What timing? I... I wonder what it must feel like to have to stress out about tea towers in a gift shop and a faltering estate. Anyway, I must be off to my very profitable castle. Oh lord.
Starting point is 01:10:04 Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness that we're closing it up. So you guys, we will open up a brand new crap and mail bag thread next week. So don't add into this one otherwise we're probably not gonna see any new questions. And thanks for listening. We're gonna be back tomorrow with our favorite show, Summer House, so everyone stay tuned. Follow us on Instagram, subscribe to us,
Starting point is 01:10:39 all that fun stuff. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye everybody. Bye. fun stuff.com slash survey.

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