Watch What Crappens - #408 RHOA: Dungeons and Dragons

Episode Date: March 9, 2017

The dungeon fight comes to a head on Real Housewives of Atlanta, but one big question remains: “You got baseboards in your dungeon?” Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Also, check out Ronnie’s new TrashTalkTV RHOBH Audiobook podcast at tttv.podbean.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crapens add free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air, come over to facebook.com-watch what crap ends that's patreon.'ve all run you on crap. Kicks, what? Hicks, what? There's so much that's happened.

Watch what crap ends would like to thank its sponsors, Christy Doherty, and Mia Hansen-Loha, and our very special super-subscranis sponsor, Miss Madonna Hines, Mads with a sexy tee! We love you girls. Hello and welcome to the Watcher at Crappin's Podcast! The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on you, bruvs! I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Audi,

a books podcast, and the Rose Pricks, the Bachelor podcast, and I'm with my gorgeous little friend visiting home, Heels Audi, a book's podcast and the Rose Pricks, the Bachelor podcast. And I'm with my gorgeous little friend visiting home, loving his parents, being cutled by the warmth of this family, Ben Mandelker of the B side blog of the banter blender. Hello, Ben. Well, hello, Ronnie. How are you doing today on this fine Thursday afternoon? I'm doing so good. I know it's going to be a good show because right

before we started, I got an Amazon delivery of everything and my laundry delivery. So all of the dog barking elements of this show are currently not here. Wow, I am so jealous that you got an Amazon prime delivery. You know, we make fun of Catherine Dennis for a lot, but the truth is, I think we're jealous. Oh, yeah, we're jealous. I'd suck Thomas's dick for a good Amazon Prime payment. I mean, that's a word. I'm working from Amazon Prime.

I want something. Well, Ben, there's always clicking and buying on Amazon Prime. It's not something special. You can do it. I know. Well, luckily, I don buying on Amazon Prime. It's not something special. You can do it. I know. Well, luckily, I don't have Amazon Prime, but I have the emotional support of all the good people on Instagram. Because for those of you who don't know, we have an Instagram channel page.

And on top of that, I'm currently on live right now. We've got 41 people watching, at least my half of the podcast They're hearing a one-sided podcast which is a little weird, but you know, hey and it's on live Come true darling dream come true And not only do they get to see one half of the podcast are actually getting a glimpse into my childhood bedroom They get to see the air conditioner. I was raised with right on my shoulder. Oh They get to see the air conditioner I was raised with right up my shoulder. I don't even know if I can see that because you're on our account, right? Well, I guess I can go to my own account and see it.

It's not worth it. I tell you, but however, I will save this. Yeah, if you follow us on Instagram, you also could spy in on the podcast as it's being made. Yeah, the sausage is made darling. I know the sausage. I'm actually,. Yeah, the sausage is made darling. The sausage. Um, I'm actually, yes, I am trying to look now. And that's, that's how we do in the middle of a show. I'll be like, oh, I'm gonna look at your Instagram. All right, let's just sit here for five minutes.

So, okay, I'm not gonna do that right now. I'll see your childhood air conditioner later, but I mean, that's, you know, that's something you gotta see. How often do you get the chance to see your friends? Childhood air conditioner. I know it's, it's something you got to see. How often do you get the chance to see your friends? Childhood. Childhood. I know. It's a big moment.

And maybe a little later, I'll go back online. I'm only going to keep it online for like 15 minutes, but maybe after the show, I'll go back online and give people a tour of the wall. The wall of memories up in front of me, which is a really powerful wall up there with the wailing wall, I would say. It's your own princesses long island. You should set up right in front of your bedposts like they know I know I

know I just wish I had bedposts oh they and door knobs oh my god it's like Erica's story from real housewives of Beverly Hills and then the door knobs mob was a real bitch what was it bed knobs was it broomsticks and door knobs and bed knobs and bed knobs and broomsticks? Oh, bed knobs and broomsticks. So it's a little like it's very good out of my head. Bed knobs. What's a bed knob? It's on the bed poster.

Those little round things. Oh, yeah. I don't know. They were real creative back then with their woodwork. Yeah, bed knobs andumsticks. So it always needs the trouble. That's what I always say. So today is real housewives of Atlanta today. And Ben, I have one question. What? Who said that? Who said that? Sit down! Sit down! Oh, sit down! Oh, sit down! Oh, sit down!

Oh, sit down! Sit down! I need to do some vocal warm-ups before we start real housewives of Atlantic. Because there is some squeak in going on today. I have three hours on you, so my instrument is ready. Sit down! Although I don't have my coffee today. I have three hours on you, so my instrument is ready. Who said that? Although I don't have my coffee today. I don't have my coffee.

Wait, hold on. Baaah! What's that bad? Okay, well, you were a warm-up sport. Erica, you really not only heard it, he's not terrified. You know what's so sad? He's actually not. He's like so used to it. Yeah, Stockholm syndrome, like whatever. Our poor listeners, the sounds that they have to put up with between our

squeaks and our squeals. And when we command their home entertainment systems to play collIPie music, that's really tough. I'm going to make an effort to not do that again, because I really hate when my friends do that to me. I hate it. What? When they sell Amazon Echo. And they bring it to life until it

to start doing stuff or like what music to play. It just makes me so crazy. And like, guys, can I control my party environment? That'd be great. Well, it's your fault for having a robot butler. Okay. Next time get a human butler who can tell the difference between your orders and just some schmuck on a podcast. It's just actually a rain machine is what I use it for. The happens to have the extra quality of making

me feel even more lonely. So well done. Well done Alexa. Alexa compliment me. Like everyone's being complemented. Notice that everyone everyone's getting something nice being told by their robot. Yes, there's nothing like having to train your Amazon echo to like make you feel like before Brittany gets raming. How to train your Alexa. Alexa, couture, Alexa, please mute the sounds of reality with anything, anything is all. So y'all are very patient because it's Thursday and this was a another crazy episode of Real House of Atlanta. And rather than

getting into a we're sitting here talking about robot butlers, that's okay, because we're going to get into it now. Real House of Atlanta, which is going to move back to Mondays starting this Monday. Now that top chef is over. So you won't have to wait very long for the next recap, everyone. Yeah. We'll be right back with some real housewives of Atlanta now. It won't take forever. It is funny having this be towards the end of our week now. It just changes the order of everything which yeah No, it does change the brain space I think but I love it

I watched it in the morning today and that's a very interesting way to start off your morning these ladies. I mean Jesus Yes, starting off the morning with real house of Atlanta is that's that's like that bulletproof coffee right there, you know It's gonna wake you up and fill you up for the rest of the day. Yeah, these bitches are crazy. I really appreciated Candy starting off this episode kind of like I was feeling like, well, I'm just walking around my house putting some fluff some pillars. Pillars. We were gonna have people, but I got a fluffy first. Rani. I mean, I was thinking you could blast a bit like a... Oh, my God. So she's decided to have a house meeting. Candy's so fucking hilarious.

She's like, I'm fighting everyone over because I'm not going to another goddamn restaurant where I don't get to eat my lunch because I get so mad. I'll just do it here, so I can at least have a tuna sandwich and kick these bitches out. Yeah, so she basically invites everyone over, except for Fadre and Portia just to tell everyone

what Portia was saying. So they all gather up and they're all sitting in this like clatch. Ready? They don't even know why they're there. They're just there. And then so then Candy turns to Shreyn's like, see? No, she'll, hey, I had another conversation with her friend. in the guest house like her second house She's like y'all can meet me in the second house. We are not messing up my white couches for this Yeah, you gotta work your way up to the first house. You got to start and you have to start in the house that Cynthia ruined Yes, Cynthia has like a little pack of her own ice cream I mean her own cereal. So now We got Rocky Road now so Porsche and her sister so we start intercutting with Porsche and Lauren Lauren, Laura, Porsche goes to Lauren's house and Lauren's putting away her boot from feeding

Yeah, it's a traditional way to start a porcisee and she goes from feeding. Yeah, it's a traditional way to start a porcissine. She goes, what are you doing? Who in here? Another owl. It's like another cut from charade to Porsche going, it's like planet Earth Atlanta. And there are certainly crabs. So, yeah, so now, so basically we're cross-cutting between Porsche telling her side of the story and Candy telling her side of her story. And so even Shamiya shows up, Porsche Mia doesn't even get invited to the group trip, but she gets to go to the the the tea party. So, um, so basically, candy is is just

telling everyone about every all the crazy stuff that that that Portia was saying, that Portia that candy, you know, want that was it. It's been in like a seven year lesbian and a fair that she has a sex dungeon that she and Todd want to get freaky deke that Todd goes by Marvin when he goes to New York, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, and no one can believe it. And she goes. And I'm sick. Who says me if I'm a lesbian.

And now and she goes in the Florida. And she told me she wanted to eat me till I see what it to eat me till I come. She wanted to eat me till I come. Come, see, my son's son won't do it hard. Boom, boom, boom.

Boom, boom, boom, boom. Oh. So my favorite candy moment. That's the opening from last year when she's like, I'm candy and whatever my line is. Ah. Ah. See now.

Really? Oh, it says, Mom, see now. You, what do you want to eat now? I don't like you, I grow up. See now. I can't eat. What are you talking about?

Say that. Say that. Yeah, then we get another clip of one of the spirits. And to me it goes, well, who said that? Who said that? Yeah, then we get another clip of who said that and to me it goes, well, who said that? That's a good question. And Candy goes, but she is. She's the one who said it and sure is like, I feel kind of bad

about what's happening right now, but I don't want to travel on Pedro. I mean, if I don't have to, I don't want to, but it feels unfair that Candy didn't know. And that's all I'm going to say. It's unfair, but I'm't want to handle on Pedro. I mean, if I don't have to, I don't want to. But it feels unfair that Candida didn't know. And that's all I'm going to say. It's unfair, but I'm not going to tell right now. Wait a minute. When I need, when I need time to myself to finish the family's

time, he'll that will surely be served. Yeah, Pedro is getting away with murder right now. She is, it's Porsche taking the total fall. But you know what though, Porsche is also done because she didn't have to take the fall. She could have just been like, I was sorry with a miscommunication. But instead she's like, okay, I'm going to just like

dig my heels in and just go, you know, crazy on you with all these crazy allegations. I like when she's crazy. She's just going fucking crazy on her. Yeah, I like to win charade, you know, when Candy says that that Porsche wanted to eat her Chelsea came. The charade was like, huh, huh, I never would have pictured Porsche as a carbon mantra.

You're carbon mantra. You're carbon mantra. You're carbon mantra. You're carbon mantra. I start to turn it on. You're carbon. You're carbon. You're a monster.

You're a monster. You're a monster. You're a carbon mantra. Oh, do you like a carbon mantra? carpet. You want your carpet? Are you a month? You want? Bob, what do you mean? You a carpet, a month. Oh, do you like a couple of lunch? Um, porcisei. Well, I don't remember. I mean, I was drunk, and I don't remember none of us going home bumping, but I had beer goggles on to the thousand that night in the club and Katy was sober. So I don't know, blame it on the handing. I'm like, if you're the one who asked, if you were wasted and you asked Candy, told Candy that you wanted to eat her out till she came and she's sober,

that does not make Candy culpable. Makes you more culpable. Well, there's a couple things. I don't know that Porsche is this cunning, but now that you say it like that, maybe Porsche is trying to, but now that you say it like that, maybe Porsche is trying to say, because is Porsche trying to make everybody think that candy gave her drug or was trying to give her drugs and all this stuff? Because if you're really drunk and the other people are not drunk, then that, that's like a form of like, you know, sexual assault. Yeah, except the thing is they never did anything.

So therefore, it wasn't and nothing ever happened. I know. I just don't know if Porsche is like, well, I was drunk and they weren't. So I don't know, you know, anything they could have raped me. Because all she's coming out right now is could have, you know, they could have drugged me. They could have raped me. They could have started my house on fire. I mean, they could have punched my mom in the face. It's like, well, okay, anybody could do anything. Porsche. Yeah, exactly. And so then candy says about the sex dungeon.

And then they're all, you know, they're all the women are just like cracking up and they're looking under the couch and behind drapes for the sex dungeon. They're like, who the? That can actually look behind the curtains. Well, certainly if there's a sex dungeon, there's some broken windows.

I mean, that spells out passion. Am I right, girls? looks behind the curtains. Well, surely if there's a sex dungeon, there's some broken windows. I mean, that spells out passion. Am I right, girls? Oh, God. So, yeah. So now is when we learned that Porsche is saying they can't even try to drug her and Shamiya and take them home, which is, I mean, it's so crazy.

That's crazy. It's crazy. And that's when she is like post you don't want from candy hot in the closet. It's now hot in the sex dungeon with drugs. Uh-uh It's like a house without a bandhe board. You say she'll run. Get the sacks. You're sexually crappin' at the backyard. Get it, Troyley.

You're sexually sexually engaged in your best board? You're sexually sexually engaged in your best board? You're sexually sexually engaged in your best board? You're sexually sexually engaged in your best board? You're sexually sexually engaged in your best board? You're sexually sexually engaged in your best board? You're sexually sexually engaged in your best board? You're sexually sexually engaged in your best board? You're sexually sexually engaged in your best board? You're sexually sexually engaged in your best board? At least my sex dungeon's finished. You got to work and think of that side dungeon. You got that you're going to get that.

So you got that. So you got to guess. You got to guess me. So I think we're making we're making greenwood laugh diagonally on Instagram. Now, Borsha did word this very carefully. I mean, for Porsche, you know, she is learning this game very well because the way she worded it was, well, I heard of the street. I'm on a jewelry street that you was saying you was going to, you and Todd wanted to drug me and take me to a sex

dungeon. So she sang, she heard that candy was saying I want to drug her and take me to a sex dungeon. So she's saying she heard that candy was saying, I want to drug her and take her to a sex dungeon, which maybe something like that was said as a joke, like yeah, we're gonna, yeah, we're really gonna drug her and take her to a sex dungeon guys. I'm sure. And then Porsche is just, you know, it's a housewife show. You know, there are enough, yeah,

there are enough idiot hangers on to these people that if you make a joke like that, that they're gonna pass it along like five different stops. And then next thing you know, it comes back to Porsche, you know, by way of like Wendy Williams or Love Be Scott, it's now like an assassination attempt is being, you know, constructed against her or designed against her.

You know, it's like it's so ridiculous that she gives so much credibility to the quote unquote streets I mean, it's it's porchus. So you know, she's very dumb sweet baton before street cities all smells like boo because that's what the horses were called So Porsche is Basically just telling candy right up, you know do what you do But if you open your mouth to speak to me, I'm gonna speak about you. And I'm gonna tell about your man,

and by C.C. his name is Marvin. It's like the Todd picked the pussiest name ever. And I'm so sorry if anybody out there is named Marvin, but you know, that's like, Marvin, dinner's ready. Like, God, mom. I'm not convinced that Portia wasn't playing Monopoly earlier and the very first thing she could think of as Marvin Gardens

She's like and you his his aliases Marvin when it goes to boardwalk Like what what are you talking about because he drives a shoe? And I look at a symbol Someone in the street said they saw your husband Marvin trying to run a dog on boardwalk avenue your husband Marvin trying to run a dog on boardwalk Avenue. What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? You can't read me. You can't read me. Can't he just because your husband takes reading railroad. That's what that's just making for them work. He smells. He's been taking that B&O railroad. Hasn't he?

He smells, he's been taking that B&O wherever, hasn't he? So Cynthia tries to get on on this and she's like, now something's wrong with Porsche. You can't just make stuff up now. Like she lied about, remember that time she lied about Peter just being all over Charlotte fucking 18 year olds? I'm like, uh, Cynthia, don't try and mix your, you know, your embarrassing truth in with candy stuff. It's dungeon drug addict lie. Okay. Those are totally different. And you know that Peter was all over Charlotte trying to fuck 18 year olds. Like, let's not just wrap everything up. Like, don't start sending the, you know, the foreclosure bills

of Peter's bro over to Porsche's house because of this. Yeah. We all know Peter was making a mess out of Charlotte. And also the city. We all know Peter was making a mess out of Charlotte and also the city. I don't know who Charlotte is, but. But if you did, you'd say, did you see my Peter? You see my Peter? You see my Charlotte? You got to what? You got to what?

These ladies were going so fast and furious in the last episode. I don't even remember Porsche saying that she heard that candy and top were going to try and drug. I didn't, I didn't hear that either. I think that they just didn't, they couldn't even fit it in. They couldn't even fit in for time, which is crazy because it's such a big thing, but I didn't remember that either. Okay.

Good. I thought it was just me. It was like Jesus. What kind of drugs is candy drug to me? Like maybe candy and Todd fucked me and they're stuck in their sex dungeon. I just don't even remember anything anymore. I'm not watching too much housewives. Yeah.

So then we follow Fadra as she heads to a church. And it's just kind of like a really stupid scene of Fadra being like, you know, this divorce was so difficult on me. I was so, so hard, but God gave me double for the trouble. I'm like, okay, okay. I like that. Her God works at McDonald's He's like I supersized that for free for you, Pedro. He's like Praise the Lord

God gave me three extra fries in the bag that I wasn't expecting and I knew he was looking after me from this divorce I can't be the only one who lasts when Fadre coast to church. I can't be, but every time she does, I just start laughing. It she's just such a phony, you know, and I'm like, do you, do you think God believes have to shit? You're saying half the time because you ain't even telling the truth in church. You know, she's like, well, hello, how y'all doing? And they're like, hmm, they have those like very deep nods because they're in church.

They're like, hello, Fadrere nod, nod, deep nod, deep nod She goes how y'all do it and think he goes We're fast and she's like oh, I hear that that clears the whatever And he's like we do it to hear the voice of God like you did not fast you're about 300 pounds. Good the fuck out of here You're on the carny Wilson. She's cake fast. Yeah, you're gonna have to. Listen, it doesn't count as a fast. It was between lunch and dinner. Um, so, uh, yeah, Pedro says that she's too good. She wants to. I didn't need when I was asleep. I've lasted eight hours. Sorry, but that's so me.

That's why it's called breakfast. That's why it's called breakfast. Yeah, breaking the fast. We're just waiting for breakfast. It is 7 a.m. Fager. Why are we shooting this early? So, um, yeah, Fager wants to an old time your revival service, which we know will be quite interesting.

I want to say hilarious, but I feel like that's actually patronizing. So, yeah, Pedro wants to an old time your revival service, which we know will be quite interesting. I want to say hilarious, but I feel like that's actually patronizing, but she wants to an old time your revival service. And I don't know. I will see. We'll see how that goes. I love a Fager event. Yeah. There always ones and bands and who knows what?

So probably I have chocolate up there doing communion, you know, like slapping people in the face with his dick for their sins and just like dancing around. I like when we're using chocolate ridiculous because you're right. I am ridiculous, yes. That is wow, candy. Yes, that's who I'm thinking of. But I like how Fadre gets all religious about her personal issues. Like, she's like, well, these girls really need the Lord.

And anytime I feel hopeless, God gives me evidence to put Paula one time out for a few years. And I know he's listening. I'm like, Jesus, Pedro. Okay. So she's going to have a revival and candy and Todd are at the old, yeah, the old OLG site. And Candy walks in and she's like, look at, good, good. God, and I'm like, what? It's like dust and drywall. It looks terrible. They do it before and after. It was like, look, here is a shitty room.

And here's a shitty room where spot has been painted. And Candy goes, let's see, now, see, now, OG. It still has that rustic industrial feel that we were going for. I'm like rustic and dust real feel. Like, is that a thing? Are you trying to like recapture the 1870s and Massachusetts or something?

Is that what we're calling an unfinished drywall interior? Rustic industrial, those are two terms that don't match. Rustic industrial. I don't even think she's trying to care at this point because even when she walked into it She was doing her weave scratch thing and that's what she does when she's like annoyed But doesn't want to say anything yet and she did it in her annoyed voice too because she's like just like you said it was way longer She's like looking looking to

Now It could be a boss I'm too scared to take that bread to a table I'm working a real restaurant like Peter's bar one at the very least I am shading you mother. Yes like Peter's bar one at the very least. I am shading you mother. Yes. So Todd, I think candy is just the kitchen still a mess, but at least Todd has shaped his nuts. That's all she cares about. She's like, those nuts can come home now. So Todd's like, you know what babe? I really, I really, like, I need a break. It's been really hard. I know we're not finished, but you want to go to why babe? So she, he's like, I'm not doing your girl trip. Yeah. Unless Peter can come.

And it's Todd. So does not have any other male friends because I know he had, they had a spin up in male friends. Like in what reality does it make sense to invite someone like Peter? This is your wife's girlfriend's exband. I'm sorry, even if you're friends with him, that's just tacky to invite him. That's just you're crossing a line and it's your wife's show. I think that he's probably, yeah, I think that he's doing it so that he has someone to yell at the women for him because Cynthia just allows Peter to yell like he's a bitch, as mean he would say, you know, stop trying to be a bitch, Peter.

So he will yell like he's a bitch and Todd usually tries to stay kind of calm and out of it. But I guess not this time. Louis a little bit. I mean, yeah. So yeah, so they're going to go to Maui. No, why? So they're going to go to there. And then they're also like what they're like, my one by Bob. Why not Bob?

And then what about Fadra and just candy's like like she doesn't care so so then we cut to Kenya having dinner with her with her brother and his kids at a pizza place. God this first line this first line. Anyone who knows me knows family is important to me. Really? You made your dad a chicken one time. Literally, Kenya, are you kidding me? You made your family get together so that you could give them

shirts with your name on it. Yeah, come on. Yeah, I'm not so sure about that. I can't yeah. But she's just, you know, she's just talking to her brother and he is the younger one. Now I'm the older one. I'm just, I was the one who's changing his diapers. So then they start talking about Matt. And she's like, if you had only seen how he was in the beginning, he was like a king. If he ever saw me put a hand on a door, he would get upset. I'm like, he was only upset because you're wasting your good window punch in hand. That like getting upset when she puts her hand on a door nap. Dornab is very sleeping with the enemy.

Yes. Like very Julia Roberts afraid in a corner. Okay. Like why are you telling this like it's a romantic story? Yeah. The tells you an even she's like, oh, shit. I had to wash my hands. All the tuna labels aren't facing the right way.

Yeah. So yeah, she's trying to make this sounds romantic, but it's not going to work. And she he's like, look, if he doesn't treat you like gold and you need to say goodbye. And she's like, but he did treat me like that. You know, I'm just taking a break from him, but he still wants to be together. And he's like, well, you know, in a real relationship,

you don't get to just be in a fight and have breaks. Like you have kids and you have to stay together, no matter what. And she's like, you know, I'm wondering if I'm wasting my time. Either I want drama or I want a family. Like, and I want a family. Oh, good. And by family, she means drama. The very dramatic. I love family drama. If there are children, he can hit them.

Stop, stop taking it out of my garage door. Matt, I got you a pillow. Now we can have a family. You can punish the pillow. So, Candy, Sandra, blah, blah, blah. Okay, so now we get another inner cut thing for some reason. They're doing a lot of that. They're like, everyone's eating lunch. Just put it all together. So Candy gets together for lunch with Cynthia and Fadra to run this Maui thing by her. And she obviously still doesn't know that Fadra is the one

who started all this. Exactly. And that intercuts with Bob and Shere. Yes. So, yeah, Bob, I'm happy to to announce he was massively sweating instantly, but this time you actually had an excuse because he was working out and Shere came by to just sort of pester him. I don't know what she was she always seems to always come by. He's doing something and she always comes by just to berate him sort of in a jockey way and then leave. Yeah, pretty much. She's like, I'm still not going to be with you. Bye.

Okay. Well, thanks for coming by. Right. Yeah, three, yeah, yeah, two more sets. Come on up. Three more reps. He's a call me big daddy. I was like, uh, she comes by, gets a free lunch, complains about it. Be right to him in the least. It's so cute. I love guys. Can you?

That's a cute. Yeah. It is. them least. It's so cute. That's love guys. Can you? That's super. Yeah. Yeah. So basically, she tells me about Hawaii. And he's like, now, what does that mean if we go to Hawaii? She goes, it means we will not be in the same room. You got to bother? You got to bother? My room will be finished. So Fadre, Mac at lunch, she's like, I don't know, Maui brings back memories of Apollo and blah blah blah revival church, blah fast and Fadre basically blah blah blah, revival church.

And she's like, to be honest, I would be a little uncomfortable if Peter came because he publicly doesn't like me and Todd and I don't have the best relationship and It's like if you're gonna go down the whole list. We're gonna need to order another course. Yeah, she's like a while She's like the only way I feel comfortable going on this trip is if it was a fricking frack adventure I'm like, how about you just stay home. Okay,'re invited on a trip. You either go. You don't go Yeah, but it's a group trip. So you I don't think it's fair and candy knows you know I think at the end of the day candy is the best housewife ever at just being a good housewife You know she shows up to what she's supposed to do. You know she's on time

Yes, I have a feeling like well sometime most of time I think she she had some incidents a few seasons ago where she was late There was one trip I think it was when they went to go to Charleston where they all were waiting hours upon hours Oh, that's true. They actually had a reason to find about that. Yeah, Candy was one of the late people Okay, well never mind. They take it back. So she's not on time But otherwise I I feel like she'll be like okay, it's a group trip. I know I have to bring her so just so candy Basie tells fate cuz Pedro is like well, maybe I'll bring Porsche and and he can't just like I don't got a doctor

She's like so she gives phadre the option of a plus one knowing that's probably going to be Porsche and And so then Cynthia starts asking phadre What she thinks about what Porsche was saying all this all this gossip you know, Fadra always trying to be squeak clean. It's like, well, has nothing to do with me. So I'm gonna stay out of it. My lips are sealed, unlike Miss Burris'. I have no cocks in this fight. God hasn't put it in my heart to get in the middle.

Like, okay, okay, Fadra. So, why's until she gets caught, but why is. Yes. Now in Fadra's mind, do you think she's getting away with something here? Because she did at that lunch and we get a clip of it every week where she's like, well, I don't know if I'd be making fun of someone else's secrets when she was or here, here, like a finger in the hole or whatever during what? do you think

she even remembers that or she does she just say so much rude shit about candy that she didn't even think twice about it. Do you think she even knows that all this drama is her? I think she remembers saying it and I think that she's hoping that no one else remembers and that that everyone thinks it starts start with

uh Portia. I think she's hoping to skate out of it, but she won't because they'll be a reunion. Well, luckily for her, she did start it, but Portia's taken it so far that she wouldn't even be in trouble now, really, if she said it. She would just say, well, that's before we had the lunch where you refused to eat an appetizer.

And, you know, when the Czech was brought, God left a little mint and also we put it into my heart that I should forgive you and so I forgive you for me saying things about you You know how phager do you show probably say phager will probably blame it on porcelain Like well, I was just repeating what Porsche told me and porcel will be too dumb to realize that phager was telling her about it Oh, I did was put my finger in a hole and Porsche took that as meaning it. Oh I did was put my finger in a hole and Porsche took that as meaning vagina on the vagina. Now how she got that when it was obviously a penis going into a hole I'll never know. But all I was merely saying was that candy likes to take two fingers and touch them

against two other fingers from someone else ideally a woman. There's nothing wrong with that. I could do it to you right now Andy. Candy likes scissoring. How else are you supposed to cut paper, Andy? Or are you supposed to just rip it to shreds? We're not animals. We can't just make snowflakes by ripping them. I actually had crumbs on both corners of my mouth, which is why I made a visa in over them. crumbs on both corners of my mouth, which is why I made a v-sign over them. And then started flicking my tongue. And then I could have sworn one of those snowflakes was falling from the sky and I wanted to catch one on my tongue. So I reached my tongue out while I was wiping from the corners of my mouth. That is all. So, Fadron Porsche go go to a General upkeep shop for ladies. I didn't know what that was. I don't know. I can auto body shop for ladies

It was it was I don't know it was like pet boys, but for ladies. I was it said Pat boys down there. I said fadres at a clinic or something It was like a pet boys where you walk into there's tires on the wall and then there's like a whole row of like air filters. They had everything they had ass implants, some kind of vaginal implant lasers, you know, and a guarantee that you're not going to pay a lot for that muffler. There's, man, four deer outside the window. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.

I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Go over at the roof in Hollywood, pour their models, shoot their head shots. I was like, what the fuck are those models doing with deer on the roof? Deer is just my code word for anorexic models on the next roof over who I was for years. Also, I'm going to say goodbye to our Instagram our watchers. Thank you for watching our live watching on Instagram live. Yato, I'm just gonna turn

off because my battery's dying on my phone. So bye. Thanks for watching. And by the way, Katie, Kuzorola and K K C who are on there who said hello to us hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi Um, which I can only describe with Fadre sounds. The deer are now charging at the window. Like, what is it? It's a mating call. So they're playing around with the butt implants and stuff and for sure puts one between their legs and she goes, we gotta do that so we can happy y'all say gap. Which is why I just can't ever hate Porsche. I'm sorry.

She's hilarious. I mean, she's just off the deep end. I mean, I don't I think she's on the wrong side of this argument, but I love her. Yeah, she just makes me laugh. And she's the first person in history to really drag Kenya across the floor literally so yeah, go girl So you can do whatever you want so phadra. Yeah, basically they just do their thing. You know, they're fricking frack I'm ready to get Okay Okay, you about to be a human hot pocket. I'm gonna come out and be super snatched pocket. I'm gonna come out and be super slatched. Yeah, so they're just in there. They're just like having typical lady upkeep comedy moments that we've seen a million times. And then at one point, Fadre goes into another room and she comes back in and she's wearing a hula skirt and a lay. And

you know, Portia is very confused. And so it's back still. Yeah the garbage bag is wrapped around her legs or thighs but basically Pedro invites Porsche to Maui and Porsche is like okay you got T-pop coming you got even cicada coming you got flip flop and you got messy well I want to go why are you going to and she, and she's like, Lord have mercy. I can't deal with these heavens here. Now I got to deal with them out in the country. Oh, why? It's a why. It's a why.

It's a why. It's a why. It's a why. It's a why. It's a why. It's a why. It's a why. It's a why.

It's a why. It's a why. It's a why. It's a why. It's a why. It we get through the ocean in the railroad. The ocean and underground. How we see the railroad there? Listen, I am not about violence anymore. So I cannot go to someplace that how I am pundra's name after.

So air. I think that's my least. My least. You did. But I kind of liked it. It made me like Lisa Nicole for like a split second. Weird. I still want a baby. Well, I still want my 20 year old ass.

It's over. Okay. Peter and Cynthia are at the airport. And he's like, it's going to be cute. But with you. She's like, tell me about it. Get off my show. She's like, please stop fighting better than me so that I can stop taking you places. Yes, Cynthia, we will let you come back for another season, as long as you bring the real bitch back to fight. Yes, please, please,

kick someone in the stomach. I can get a leg house. I'll wear this. Yes, you can get a leg house. All right. My arc is leg house. OK. Algae. And you'll bring Peter to every opening. Done. Done. I've got a deck.

A dock. A dock on a deck. I can rhyme. Oh, it can be. see. I'm glad we've played up into tunes. Because over here is seen goodbyes and over there. Fruit fraud. Fruit fraud. No. Fraud. Really. Santa fraud. Really. Friends now. I'm talking gibberish. I'm sorry, everyone.

I love candy talk. That's actually when I tell what's her face to turn on the rain at night. It's really just sounds like you're doing candy looping until I wake up in the morning. I'm like, why did I have a wet dream with R2D2? It's so weird. My favorite is later on in the episode one, Candy Does the Cry Talk.

I love Candy Cry Talk. Oh, yeah. Are you doing it now? No, no. I'm just getting it on my god. I love it too. I'm just sad back in my chair. I'm like, you know what?

I love Cry Talk anyway at the four seasons. I like the airplane. Everyone thought Shere was going to miss the flight. And then she makes it at the last minute. I like that on the airplane everyone thought charay was gonna miss the flight and then she makes it at the last minute and they're like you made it and she goes you ain't gonna keep me in their port waiting two hours for a flight. You got over you got over. Please arrive two hours before your flight. No I'm gonna do that. Did you mean to be so late to your plane, Shiree? And you know, Shiree, that lady who shows up and she's like, gotta go to the front.

Gotta go to the front. Yeah, she is. Homeland security's. Land of securities. So the first flight lands, they all get to the four seasons. Everyone's outside at this little area, and there's a, there's like a drummer and a fire dancer, and the drummer, Peter goes,

you know that's my beat, right? That's my beat. I'm like, is that, that's strange. I didn't hear the sound of wallets being emptied and bank accounts depleting, is that, is that what you heard? I didn't hear pennies falling onto the table when you opened your wallet. I didn't hear pennies falling onto the table when you opened your wallet. I didn't hear the multiple sounds of negative $32,

dinging on your Wells Fargo account every time you overdrew. I'm sorry, is that drum beat the same sound as the cars on the highway over your club? I must have been confused. That's my beat. That's my beat. That's my beat. Sounds like coffee. Is this one of my Peter's brew coffee beans? Peter will come out with his old garage band and just, you know, control right click, change name of all the sounds in there to be something with his name on them.

Peter's loop. Peter's loop. Peter's loop. One trumps. I got drums. That's my beat. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe So Todd and Candy are in their room. Candy is not having it. I mean, Candy. Candy doesn't have postpartum depression. She has like postpartum rage. Candy is just ready to beat the shit out of somebody at any moment. And I really like it. I'm very thankful for what Ace did to Candy. She is, I think that she is garage. She's tired from this flight. She's hungry. She wants to go to sleep and productions making her stay awake for dinner. And even Todd's like, I don't think I'm gonna go to dinner. That's when all the ladies like to pop off. And she's like, see?

No, Todd. Yeah, come. And he's like, I don't know. Marvin has to punch in at 10 p.m. I don't know. Marvin has to punch in at 10 p.m. So on the plane Porsche just cuts to Porsche and Fadres playing and all you hear is they were landing. It sounded like that plane got taken over by the Grandlands. I was expecting you to plan got taken over by the Gremlins. I was expecting you to that. You know that that door's going to open up and majors can come out on a little Malibu Barbie car speeding around the charm

back. So you know, it has brought Todd. Thank God hot Todd. So she brought Todd because, you know, some people wait to have sex before they get married and then they're sure to have sex before they get married just to do a test drive. And this is kind of like that, but since, you know, Borscht already fucked him a junior hire, whatever,

she saved the virginity for the housewives, trip experience. It's like, yeah. If you're gonna be with me, you're gonna need to learn to yell at a bitch. Okay, here we go. It's more like if you're gonna be with me, you have to learn how to sit there quietly

while I go off and be crazy. Because Todd wants it. He just wanted a turn into an armadillo. He was curling up inside himself. He's got to learn to be like a surgeon's assistant. It's like hammer hammer knife knife. Now it's to be somebody over the head with. And now let me be somebody over the head with.

That's like a very Inaigarten joke. That's what she says anytime she has a guest chef on her show. And she's always she's she's she's like, Oh, I feel like I'm like a nurse nurse doctor. Yes, doctor. Yes, doctor. If she's time she has a spoon over and she turns the camera on laughs. Only on this podcast, could you hear Porsche compared to you, Ina, no, we're actually mixing. Todd Ina, Oh,

Todd Ina, the Porsche is the guest judge. Not the guest chef. It's like Todd Florence teaching Ina Gourmet how to make a birthday cake asymmetrically. That happened. That was a real episode. Oh, so dinner. Candy, Candy walks down over there. We'll just see that there.

It's coming back. I'm warning you, it's coming back. And I'm not even joking. Oh, so Candy is walking to dinner and you know it's gonna be a travel because Candy's doing her nervous weave scratch. Well, today is braids, but she's doing that thing where she sticks wind nail on her scalp and makes this face.

Didn't you kind of expect Don Juan to poke up in the bushes, you know, Tom and Jerry style. He's going to poke up and just spy look around and poke back at out into bushes. I think Don Juan has been cut off for a while. I think someone was like, no, no, there will be no in the Don Juan unless he's in a group scene for a while. And but to compensate, we'll let Kwame's face and scrunch in every scene that he's in.

Just find the contract, Candy. Still fish face. Basically everybody or everybody's starting to arrive at the table. They're all exhausted because it's 230 there time. Sheree's late. And he's like, you know that Sheree's always late. She comes to the table. She's like, I was just saying how prompt you were.

And she goes, are you being facetious? And he goes, no, I don't even know how to spell that. You got to start. You got to start. So you know how to spell kind of lingo. That doesn't stop you from doing it to the whole neighborhood, Bob. Like, whoa, that got dark. So everyone's sitting there and then,

Porsche and Todd, hot Todd, come down the way. And she's like, ha! And they all look like, hi, nice to see you. Hello, everybody! It's a solid look away. And she's like, that's a nice welcome. I would like to announce it's past 40th birthday. They're pretty like, yay.

Yeah, and then Cindy is like, what's Peter's birthday yesterday or tomorrow or sometime? Or just like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like with, where to pick up on that one, Peter? This might take birthday like six months ago. It might take, did you read that? Does my thing, Lindsey from somewhere else is like, and I just signed a new taco client.

So she just shows up. They just start blaming everything on Christina. I wouldn't have made up that rumor. I feel Christina were meddling with me all the time. Maybe I could find happiness if Christina wasn't trying to make me kiss his truck lesbian. I just am saying what, reporting Gibson told me reporting live from the sex tension. So this dinner is so awkward and Porsche sits down. She's trying to be positive, but there's no way she's going to get away with that on this trip.

They all know what's coming and Porsche literally sits down right in front of a sign a huge sign that says steep drop off The candy assigned this shit because you know, she's just gonna push her ass right over Yeah, that's gonna happen very very soon So Porsche tells us she's like I don't want it You know there's a tie I got and then there's other time and I don't want to respect other Todd and, there's a tie that I got. And then there's other tie. And I don't want to respect other tie and call it my thing. So I'll call him toddler. I was like, weren't, weren't, weren't she?

Because you're small and cute. I was like, just stick with hot top. We already named your boyfriend hot top. Just stick with it. It's good. Don't bring Todd down, bring your tie up. So candy is candy couldn't take it, just looking at Portia's face.

So she was like, bye. So she got up and went to the bathroom for a while and tells us, her telling people, I tried to drug her, that could ruin my life. And which is true. And then Fadre comes in and she gets kind of the same welcome to everyone's like, yeah, yeah. And she has a sub by Peter, which she's not happy about.

And somewhere in the mix here, someone's asking, can you know, like, where are the Peter's like, so, oh, where's Matt? Why don't you bring Matt? I'm like, you're so Peter. Yeah, so Peter. And she's like, well, you know, we're sort of going through a thing. And also, I needed someone to watch the dogs. I'm like, so he's watching your dogs right now. This is the violent man who's bashing your windows. You're then making him watch your dogs.

Yeah, but that's what he complains about. He's like, she only treats me like an employee. Like, she starts all this shit and then she's calling me to clean her house. And she's like, that's not fair. I have a swiffer, Matt. He's like, uh, the bullet is, my bullet was a bull was. Yeah. She's basically like, we are not speaking. And you will be watching the dogs this week. Please don't throw them through the garage door. You manipulated me into taking

give your dogs. I thought you wanted a foot massage because of your dogs. Coming next week, like literally, that's going to come up next week. You see me, maybe later me, the ones you do, the, the, I do coming next week. Like literally, that's going to come up next week. You see me. They made it me the ones you do. I do not like that Matt is my Erica. That's really bugging me. He's my toy. He's like sort of my toy. Oh, well, my air. Another toy.

Yeah. So he was all a spectrum. I mean, I've been, I've been really going between Portia and Lisa Nicole, all podcasts and my candy is all sorts of bonkers right now. Candy is like a transition to radio trying to tune itself. I just watched I just watched an episode of Stranger Things my first episode and essentially when they got on the ham radio it's like, oh, yeah, baddie. Badden. Oh, my God. So where are we here? So there's awkward silence. When candy comes back to awkward silence,

I know it's talking and then Shreys like, well, sometimes, sorry, it's our during time clickioe. Well, well, this smells good. Shreys, Shreys like, listen, there are no loses here. Only a winner. No. She goes. Shraith's like, what? It feels weird. We're not really jealous. So I think for the group to move forward, I think we just got to get it all out of stable and just get it out there. You got it on table? You got it? You got table? Sounds like okay. Here we go. We're to put it on this table and not it. Can you more disaster? Table. Table.

So no one would talk. So she's like, portion, some of the girls say, you say slidrous things that are true. And she's like, not true. So Cynthia tries to help out. And she like yeah, you know the conversations about candy She's like You went back to the table and told that's extra messy Your true candy fashion. I'm like listen Like your your tie caught her on it. I'm like listen like you're Tie caught around I was like don't try to get it off that or whatever because candy was like

Every one You were saying the craziest shit borscht of course I told everyone So then I take to the details follow the plan or the kitchen will never get done. Sorry babe, I can't stop thinking about old. Sticking the Australian hot Todd meanwhile is just like, oh fuck, and this is when he starts looking down at his plate. And just like, I just want to go to sleep and jerk off in the morning. Oh, and then Fadre, it just don'ts on Fadre. She's like, now I'm wondering if it was a good idea to bring Porsche. So really? Now you think it's now dawned on you? So candy's like, oh, we dropped it

trucking. And Porsche's like, I came at you with the truth and you came at me with all sort of messiness. So I got out of Stankstick and I put it on wait five minutes and put you on the washing machine. And then when you came out, I still wouldn't wear you because you smelled like some of fresh. What are you even talking about? That's all I have to say. A L L.

Fabs all. So for your so bitch. So candy is like, so candy is like, everyone except that we have a six dungeon and then she's like, now what I said, you probably told someone that like you want to take us to a sax dungeon maybe. Like that's a very different story for sure. And candy is just losing it. It's like.

What I told you, but more. That's what you know, which, which gets really magical. What I said. He's what I said. He's what I said. That's different things. Things can ruin my life. My mother's love may never be revived. So that was like a big ab workout to do that voice. So now Portia. So now Portia admits that she probably did want to eat out candy because she was strong. So now she's fully backtracking yet and yet saying that she's not backtracking

at all. Yeah, she's like, that probably did happen. I was tipsy. And Todd's like, so you're admitting it? And she's like, yes, so what was the big deal? Peter's like, I'm looking at Todd. Like, what the hell? If this was Cynthia trying to bring Porsche home, we'd all three be fucking. Yeah, I was like, yeah, he's like, yeah, if Cynthia Billy Tonkiss is pushing the mouth and I'm here, we're all fucking tonight. I'm gonna promise you that. Like, shut the fuck up, Peter.

Just throw yourself off that steep decline. I'm like, honestly, I can't. And that's why you're a cat out of the wheel. Enjoy Charlotte. You're just disgusting. And the thing that we watched this on Women's Day. Oh God, really? Yeah, today is like Women's Day. Oh, what a better way to celebrate in Peter and then a preview of Bob saying that he should have choked Sheré Harder.

The first time. Oh, for Bob, he can never choke Sheré Harder. Do she's jacked? No kidding. She's got a tree trunk frame. That good luck with that. You can barely lift those 25 pounders. Exactly Bob. So, so then the best part of all is that while Portia is, you know, saying that she is saying the truth, etc, etc, etc. Candy does something that usually is reserved for the reunion, but she prints out the screenshot of text from her interaction with Portia. Oh, perfect classic housewives long order shit. I loved it. She's like, yes, so she whips out the text and then she reads them. Did you screenshot them? I didn't. I didn't. Oh my God, Ben, you're my little screenshot or... I know. I'm sorry. So basically, it just, their joke, you know, porcise joking, she's like,

sorry, I had my phone off three days. You better not tell anybody. And I wasn't trying to rape you girl. I'll, well, you know, squishy face, squishy face. Or whatever. And if you say it on, if you say it, if you tell me on camera, I mean, not at all. That's essentially what she said. I mean, I run or whatever it was. It may have all been a totally joky text, but it showed that

Portia was totally complicit in this and that she was the aggressor, as Candy said. See? Now, Portia, she's the beat and LGBT. Yeah, I, uh, but Portia's already admitted that she was coming onto them. So it kind of took the air out of this. Except that Candy's still pissed that she was saying that she was going to drug her and rape her or something. But now, Porsche's, you know, Porsche's acting like, no, I heard you said she was going to do it. I don't know. I don't know. You say I heard you say to somebody else. Okay. Well, you know, you're not going to win this one. Like either one of you because, how can I, with somebody who either one of you, because happy now this is what he says, I heard something.

So now this is when Candy really starts having her voice breaking moment. First she turns the tide, and she says that Portia's a fraud, and it's like, I feel so awful you, sir. And then she like appeals to Fadre, which I thought was interesting. And she's like, Fadre, she said,

I had a sex dungeon and you knew if I had one, I would tell everybody about it because I don't really care! See now, apart that matters Fagera, this chick tried to turn around and said I'd be trying to drug her. Dragrant into a dungeon and Porsche's like, well, she has the right to say that. What fight are you in, Porsche? She's in like waiter training, the customer is always right.

And candy's like, you got the right to shut your damn face. And Porsche is like, I wasn't You got the right to shut your damn face! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and put that out there about me. It took everything in me not to choke this bitch. Damn. And Hawaii rattles. I know, but by the way, Portia, Portia's saying that she wouldn't have talked about a candy business if Candy didn't come for her first. I'm like, Portia, you're, I hate to reduce it down

to this childhood taunt, but you you started it. You did. Yeah. Yeah, I see that you started it. So Candy cleared the air and then rather than saying, Oh, okay. Yeah, you just decided to go back even harder. And so now Candy's punching back harder. You started this mess, Portia. Actually, Fadre did.

Yeah. Yeah. She kind of started started it trying to stick up for Fadre. He was not really doing shit for her right now? Yeah, but I hope to stay friends anyway. I Hope they they will you know this show is good for people Screaming at each other bloody murder and then six months later. Yeah, that we're going to brush now everything's fixed Yeah, I kind of understand how people get forgiven on death row sometimes after watching this show

I'm like wow, okay, I understand tree forgiveness like people get forgiven on death row sometimes after watching this show. I'm like, wow, okay, I understand tree forgiveness. Like, people put each other through a lot. Yeah, they do. This show gets dark. It's madness. This is definitely a step up in intensity from last season's pulling the chair out from 2D drama. Oh, good. I kind of actually said we're like, I really like 2 be on the show. I thought she brought in a different a fun. She was just a different. She was, um, she was a stick in the mud, which I enjoyed. Well, I like that she was really still a diva underneath it all and like finally got they finally got her mad enough to say, I'm Tim Richards, which is all I really. I am Tim feels. Oh my God, what does she said? I'm Kim Richards. Which is all I really. I am Kim Fields. Oh my god, what did she said?

I'm Kim Richards. That would have been awkward. It would have been amazing. Oh, but I do sort of miss her obsession with Carpool. Like, oh, Carpool, just boxes. Yeah, I miss her. Has been wearing mom jeans, mom docks. That's that too.

Yeah, I miss it. But anyway, you know what the past has passed. And you know what else has passed? This episode. This episode. But now, now that Atlanta's done, we can move on to crap, it's mail bang. I beg you forgot that was coming.

Bring it to me, honey. Being it. This is when listeners get to have their questions and comments read on the air. You just go to patreon to signuppatreon.com for slash watch or crap. And our first question comes from the adorable Mick Resendez or a silent column Mick Resendez. And he says, hello, Ronnie and Ben. My question isn't really bravo related, but it was inspired while listening to your top chef recaps.

I love listening to you guys talk about food and cooking. Ben, thank you, thank you, thank you for posting the article about seasoning and cast iron skillet. You both have really inspired me to challenge myself in the kitchen. So my question is, what cookbooks would you recommend for those of us new to cooking? Any other advice to new chefs?

Love you both. I know that you will have a much better answer for this, so I'll get my shitty one out of the way. I think the best way is to think of stuff you like to make and then just go on the internet. Because when you search a recipe on the internet, they're starred because all of them have reviews. And so most of the food network recipe show it first and a lot of them have reviews. And so you, most of the food network recipes show

at first and a lot of them are disgusting. Like let's, let's be honest. I mean, some of those chefs on the food network. But some of them are just perfectly basic enough to teach you, you know, sauteing onions and garlic and stuff like that. That's what I do. And then you eventually learn how to make a lot of really good things. Yeah, and when I started out, I was doing a lot of internet recipes. And the good thing about those two is that people write comments usually, and so you can see what they did if they encountered any issues or trouble. So that is really helpful. Outside of internet recipes, there are definitely some cookbooks that I think would be good starter cookbooks.

I think I think Ina Garten, almost any of her cookbooks you could start with just dive in. They're all actually very accessible recipes that she has. I really like her, how easy is that cookbook? That's one of my favorites at first. You can honestly just like, how easy is that? How easy is that? You could start with the very first one, the Barefoot Contestic Cookbook. Rick Bayless has a cookbook called every day, Mexican every day.

And that one is like easy Mexican weeknight sort of food. Also very easy and approachable. I would say stay away from cookbooks that are like restaurant cookbooks or highly chef-driven, even though Rick Bayless is a chef, because a lot of restaurant cookbooks are super annoying. Don't start French. Yeah, don't start French. The restaurant cookbooks will always have you going after some ingredient that's, you can only be get, you can only get it at a farmer's market and only at one part of the season and they organize things by season and then by disson by that, and pairings.

Those are, you guys sort of have to work your way up to those, I think. Yeah, I can't think you want to cook or you want to eat. Yeah, there's a cookbook that my mom gave me. When I first moved to LA back in 2001, and I didn't know what to do with myself, my mom gave me a cookbook called The New Basics by, I think, Julie Russo and Sheila Lukens. And that's like one of those big, thick cookbooks that just has a whole bunch of recipes in it.

It just like has everything for every occasion. That's, you should get something like that. a whole bunch of recipes in it. It just like has everything for every occasion. That's if you should get something like that. And then also I would say Mark Bittman, his recipes that from the New York Times are also very approachable and very easy. So I would start in those areas and then just grow out from there.

Yeah, right on. Yeah, yeah. So, brother. Yeah, unless know how your things work out Mike Bowman good old Mike Bowman he says hey guys, let's speculate. What is keeping Erica Jane up at night? Because she says you don't know what's keeping me up at night Well, we know it's not math equations One fuck plus two fucks. I don't know what fuck about that. One fuck plus two fucks equals, I don't give a fuck.

Two wrong fucks don't make a good luck. With a vote. Maybe it's she's just trying to remember her lines for Young and the restless. Whatever they may be, what's they write them? Oh, I do. What if I play the president who's obsessed with I would be? To be or not to be? What is the question? This is the end, Pooh, Tata. Do you like, it's Putin.

Whatever, I'll go to the fuck with country from Hawaii. Poor, stupidity leaking. Yeah. But in all reality, I cannot tell after watching this episode, I'm not sure if you're going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be

going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be

going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going know like there's a lot of darned rickles issues that she could be Capt. At night, you know like maybe she has to help him out of bed to go pee like every two hours You know we don't know what it is, but I have a feeling it's gonna be like Bug grab my die, but I'll push me the deep in so

It's probably about her son being a police officer, but it could also be. Did they ever fix that fountain in the back yard that we first saw me talking about back while season? Remember what I ordered tiles for that felt. I hope I did that thing. You don't know what I sleep with every night. You don't know what it's like to go to sleep in a house that has a little chapel in it. You haven't prayed in a while. They go. They go. That's all you have. They don't know what it's like to go to sleep in a house that has a little chapel in it You haven't prayed in a while they go they go that's all you know they don't thank you. That was my

That was my submission for days of our lives Absolutely just it just the whole way to get to the library where I can stare at the printer campuses of myself looking really fucking hot Batch I't go look fuck. So now I always got bomb by myself. I never really had a you like me. But now it shows me to the bone. How do I get by alone? Thank you, everyone. Thank you.

I said it. I said it. I say a plate of night trying to remember lyrics to heart I do not have sweet dreams or these dreams see that's why I stay up at light late at night I can't even refer to the proper hot song what I'm talking about my hot anxiety. I'll tell you what keeps me up at night Not a goddamn thing stupid bitch I'll tell you what keeps me up at night not a goddamn thing stupid bitch I'll tell you what keeps me up at night the staircase see cuz it takes me upstairs get it Me all night everybody I don't go fuck

Mikey he literally says there it holds me. Oh I Night log All night, log. All night. All night. All night. All night. All night. All night. All night. All night. What you've just be up late at night is wondering how I can get in touch with

Giner's psychic. It's the way I can know what's going on with Lionel. All night, log. Thank you. Thank you. No, let me tell you. No, let me tell you, girl. You've got a first name like Sair. you, girl, you've got a first name like share.

Well, actually, you've got two first names. Erica and Joan. You're a first to first. Gaelic, Ely, double first. Double, double first. Double the first, double the first. That sounds about. I look right at your push and I said get out of that jumpsuit right this instant and guess what it did it did Eric a Jane.

No, it's a little tough to me still my pussy. If I was your grandmother, I would have said listen here, all these and get the hell out of my body right now. And it would have, and then you wouldn't be sitting in the cemetery, getting Liz's crawling all over your leg. That lizard. There was a lizard that jumped at my leg at the cemetery with those busy grab mama. That's what keeps me up and back. Like, oh, oh, I get it, I get it dear. That lizard with your grandmother saying hi. No, it was just a lizard and it freaked me the hell out. So now I can't go to sleep.

A muscle wave of cookie grumbles. Oh, so good. All right, Ben. Everyone, thank you so much for joining us today. We will be back tomorrow with a super fun recap of Soma Hyals. Oh, sorry, I was comeling. Yeah, it's... Hi. Hi. Hi. You do it every time.

Hi. Hi. Hi. You do it in a way, so I'm sorry. Hi. Hi. What? Thumping faces with their big stupid open mouth. I love Camille. Okay, everybody. Tell me how's this super funny tomorrow.

Everyone's staging for it. Thanks for listening. Talk to you later. Camille kisses. Hi. Hey, prime members. You can listen to WatcherCppens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today.

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