Watch What Crappens - #409 SummerHouse: Everybody Hates Cris(tina)

Episode Date: March 10, 2017

Breaking news! Reporter Gibson is officially the most hated reporter/guest on "Summer House." At least, that's what this latest episode would indicate. Come join us as we unpack the glory of "Summer House," from Kyle's Ukrainian booty call to the never-ending beat down on Cristina. We literally have never had 60 seconds of not fun with Summer House, Carl. Carl, did you like the episode? Carl? Carl? Carl? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch For Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch I'm Ben Mandelker from BesideBlog.com and the Banta Blender podcast Joining me as usual is the always funny always hilarious always lovely and always comforting Ronnie Caram from trashtalktv.com and the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast and the Real Housewives of Reb audiobook podcast thing. Oh, BAM! What is up, Randall? Not much, baby.

Has everything going with you today on this fine Friday? It is great. Thank God it's Friday and also happy birthday to my mom and show. Oh, yeah. It was some have been lied. My mom shares a birthday with such a crazy mix of celebrities. I mean, they're just gonna be some of the modern. They have the same birthday figures. Yeah, there's, there's some either even more crazy celebrities did born today. I don't remember them off him, but I just, all I can remember is

Sharon's telling us all of them,. I think Chuck Norris too. Oh my god. Yeah, it's a big it's a big day for for birthdays. Olivia Wilde. Yeah, you just threw it that you just went backwards. Emily Sande. I mean you peeked at Osama and then kind to kept it going with Chuck Norris Robin pick Yeah, the Osama to your ears Timberland John ham there we go. Wow. That's a lot There's there's even more Edie Brickell. I mean, there's a lot of people born today Prince Edward Earl of Wessex He's a nobody ever asked for the new bohemians were born. No only only Edie Brickell. Oh, I love some Jasmine guy. You know, that's true.

Yeah, we're just going to end it right there. Jasmine guy. So Jasmine guy, Sharon Stone, Osama Vidlad and Shannon Tweed. And my mom, happy March 10th, everyone. Well, it's a big day. Not only is it the end of the week, but we finally get to recap Summer House. Er, Mugurd. has become a favorite of ours,

which means it's gonna get canceled, so sorry everyone. Oh, we love you so much, House. Actually, I think that it might not get canceled, and here's why. Carl and Kyle were both on watch what happens on Monday night, and I think that's a pretty significant thing I don't think that Andy puts on people from shows that are going under I

Will say this I saw them on an Instagram post sharing a drink with jacks and they were all like yeah, bro Like that was the face they all had and I was like gross like is there not enough strains of herpes and the Hamptons You need to bring that one to come on guys. I know. No, it was a crazy triple crossover because Shep was there from Southern charm and Jacks and then Kyle and Carl, Carl, Carl, and I right. So it was like the whole gang. So I'm hopeful that this means that the ratings are good enough for, uh, to get the guys on to watch what happens as guests, not just as bartenders.

Well, time will tell. Time will tell. Such an amazing episode this week. If you're not watching Summer House or if you were turned off in the beginning of the season, because it was just too bland and too white, you're missing out on the most hilarious bland whiteness you could imagine. I was getting angry even in the beginning because Carl did the beginning of this week, who I'm up and down hot and cold if you will with Carl.

Very catering. But he's like at the beginning, it's just his tongue movements. At the beginning of this season, I made a rookie mistake of hooking up really quickly. So I corrected it by fucking lots of homely strangers. Well, yeah, gross. I know. I was very much like, shut up Carl. Carl. But then we opened back on the girl fight from last week, which is amazing. So the girls are all sitting around the table in the kitchen. Basically, the twins are basically just yelling at Christina at this point. I call it the Inquisition of Christina. Yeah. Because for those who forgot, when Carl was trying to decide that he wants to go back to fucking Lauren, he threw Christina onto the

bus. He's like, well, I was fucking around with other girls because Christina told me that you wanted to marry me. So I wasn't interested in that. So it's really all Christina's fault. Lauren's like, that Christina, she is just always interfering and meddling. Repora Gibson. Yeah. I, Christina's telling him, I want to put holes in his condom. Like, why would she do that? Christina, I mean, what do you say about her? Why would she say that? She said that. I'm not my sister. Why would Laura want to marry her? Yeah, why are you getting between her and Carl? Yeah, Christina, why are you doing that, Christina? Oh, the twins, so funny.

And Christina's like, what is the big deal? I mean, you're just dating the guy for Christ's sake. It's not like it's that big of a deal. And she goes, well, maybe I could have something. It's a big deal if you didn't ruin that. Yeah, she's like, oh, okay. So Christina's the reason you're single now. Exactly.

She's like, maybe I could find a good person. If there wasn't so much noise in the background, I was like, first of all, that's probably your twin sister making the noise, quacking back there. And second of all, you deserve a man who's not going to be turned off by the quote unquote noise. That's the way you don't blame someone else for your bad man choosing. Okay. But then Christina cannot recover.

Like Christina's perfect for a bravo show because all she has to do is say, I was just trying to stand up for you. And it would be over. She'd be like, oh, but instead Christina's like, I was trying to help you do not fall for this. Do not fall for it. She's like, for what Christina? Yeah, for what?

Hey, I want to be for what? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going to do? You're seeing his criminals. You've got a risk to say. You're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like,

you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're

like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, the bed with all those girls. And she's like, well, guess what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go sleep tonight in a bed that's a guy's bed. And guess what? With a guy in a guy's bed. With a guy. He's got a bed. And his name is Guy. Okay. And we're gonna watch a movie with Guy Pierce, directed by Guy Madonna's husband. Also happy birthday to Jasmine Guy. I'm Richard birthday cake recipe by Guy Fiori. And ever it's like, whoa, but I don't he was born on the same day as Hitler, huh?

Whoa, that was quite a war. I remember the first time we celebrated your birthday and it was been a lot of this day and The fireworks were going off remind me of the shells landing and um All I wanted was a shell of it now I'm afraid of the acid rain you get it right geek. I could you So oh, I started too late. Sorry, I was like, I got to find it. Got to find it. We'll do it again. Don't worry everyone. We'll do another dodgy off for strings moment. Oh, right after making up, Lindsay is like, I'm I don't know

I'm fed and I see how you like that. So she leaves and then ever,, Everett, Everett, Everett, the romantic is like, Yeah, well, good fucking luck, Jokes. I also, I think right before she left, Lindsey was like, you know what? I don't even know who to believe anymore. It's like, let me guess, you're gonna believe Everett. So don't even ask us who to believe. Because you're gonna make a fuss, and you're gonna believe Everett.

So then Carl's like, bra, a gentleman doesn't leave his girl, doesn't let it go, braah. So it's like, I know you haven't been single and creepy for a long time, but when a girl runs out of a bar, you chase her and hope that she falls down to rock. It's like, whoa, date rapist.

Yeah. So Everett does, and then we switch back to the other fight. Yeah. Where they're just just going after Christina. And it's mainly Lauren. There's some Jacqueline too, because Jacqueline got dragged into this. And Christina's, her line of defense is not a good one.

She just kind of repeats things. I don't remember exactly what they said to her, but what I imagine they said was something like, Laura, Christina, why do you always interfere? I interfere? You interfere. The whole world. You are.

You are. That's sort of her style of logic. It's not good. She's a you are lawyer. Yeah. Christina, you actually have the stronger hand in the situation, but your line of defense is not the best. Because she really still doesn't know what it is.

She doesn't know what she said because Carl didn't say anything even close to what she said. I mean, in that car, basically, Carl was like, I'm fucking Jacqueline, right? Jacqueline Jacqueline's like, yeah, well, I'm saying fucked by Carl. Yeah, and Christina's dad's, I'm just kidding. Cause the thigh am I'm like a girl who likes to play. So, her voice is getting rast for you. These anti lock breaks and this car make me so hot.

Oh my God, the way you turned on that turn signal. Yeah, fuck it. I'm gonna fuck you with that same rhythm. It's like, okay, Jacqueline. So anyway, she all Christine said was, um, you're gonna hook up with Lauren in that. I mean, you're gonna hook up with this hoe in the house. You know that you're gonna piss off a work as twin, right? I wouldn't do that. But she doesn't even know that's a conversation that they're referring to. So she doesn't know how to stick up first. She's just like, you are. You did. Not me. You don't even learn your lesson because you don't learn your lesson with Kyle because

you did the exact same thing to me that you did to Kyle and then Christina starts crying and the chance to like, um, whatever, I can't. I just can't with our like seriously, whatever. I mean, why should crying? I can't even have to cry like Carl. Carl, you made a crying like Carl Carl. She made a crying car. Carl, we made a cry.

And Alexis the guest, you can tell that she really has known these girls forever because she's just eating through the whole thing. She's like, it's like it's every day. The toys are yelling at someone. She's like, yeah, it's good pasta. Lexus is like, I wonder if I should just go take her right on crashly right now. Which is this scooter.

So then Christina goes off to cry in her room because she's like, what the fuck? And then Lauren has this twisted line of logic where she goes, no one cries if they, no no one cries if they don't feel like they did something a little wrong. Oh, no one cries if they don't yet. They don't feel like they did something a little wrong. I'm like, or you cry if you've been wrongly accused. You know what makes me cry when everyone says, you're a fucking terrible person

and you have no idea what's happening. That would make me cry. Or if you roll your ankle, am I right, Carl? Carl? No. No one's here for me. There's literally no one here for me. I don't know, there's a crashing up.

I feel like right now. Carl, just eat crashly. Ashley's on crashly right now, Carl. Carl, you know, the C in crashly is for Carl. Carl, the call is for Carl. C crashly, hey Carl, wanna write crash to Carl? Carl, does he, probably wanna help it for crashly? Carl.

Christina goes off and does her talking head thing and she's like, you know, this summer has been like, really hard for me and I feel like drinking and then she lifts like an Arnold Palmer up and it's a go. She's like, oh I wasn't making a Serbian noise. I have the remnants of a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee here so I was trying to provide some fully for the moment but yeah she's just like, I just feel like drained.

I would have done to, I don't know why it made me laugh also. It was from like over dramatic and yet so accurate to the moment. Back at the other restaurant, ever has chased Lindsay out, and then they just both come back and smiling like nothing happened. I mean, these two, they're getting so good at fighting that it's like, I'm going to fuck a guy. Okay, I'm back. Yeah. Seen two. And then Everett, Lindsey returns and Everett goes, oh, hi, oh. Oh, my God. It's shut up, Everett. It's Jesus. Things were real out there, having the parking lot. Jesus things were real out there having the parking lot

and Carl a lot of Lindsay I saw the enemy approaching it was the valet and I said stay back man stay back. There's a woman here a woman I need to fight for Her heart, but I looked at her and I said you're a geek. She said you're a geek And then we fucked in the bushes and said let's go back and have our shrimp cocktail. Mitch in the accomplished. I was gonna get on for you. Lastly, that was too good. No, I was just listening.

Last week I kept cutting it off right as you were about to do yours It's a this time I held it on and you didn't do yours. Well, just keep it playing Okay So right now It's almost awkward whenever Then I told him to keep playing and he pressed up. This is a film man Stop cocking blocking my monologues This is Vietnam, not cock, blocking, no. This is as if the workers twins were on,

we were doing the soundboard. Now Carl, now, do we play the music now, Carl? Now, Carl, Carl. Carl, do you want to sound now? Carl, you want to be the now, Carl? Carl. So Carl, speaking of tries and saves this relationship and he's like, look guys, you've got your strengths. I mean, look, here's the big deal. Let's look at it closely. So every

slap is some chicks. Is that a regular thing? Does he do that every day? And then he goes, ah, no. Okay, then you're back together. He's like, you know, you guys are, you guys are so strong together and you get your strength from these moments. I'm like, what does that mean? What is that? I hate that bullshit, that bullshit line of thinking like, yeah, you know, when you have stupid, petty fights over bullshit, you get your strength from those moments. No, you're just getting weaker and weaker and weaker.

Guys, when you embarrass yourselves getting weaker and weaker and weaker. Guys, when you embarrass yourselves at dinner and leave the rest of us feeling stressed out with our bread baskets, that's only now you meant to be together forever. Wait, what? Where did you learn romance? Says the guy who like made one girl fall for him and then like tried to fuck the other hoe on the couch. I think I think I think on the couch on the couch, Carl. I'm a streamer on the machine. I think Steven said it best. I said, you know, your relationship is in deep trouble when you're getting advice from Carl.

I'm surprised at work is to not come bursting through the wall. Just chop off Steven said don't Don't tell you how to buy a car or a car. So then the party music starts. Everybody's made up. So now it's like, oh, they're like, oh my god, do you want some rosé? So it's a game that potting. Skinny dip. Or did you rip up rosé down my guys throat? They're all having the best time and Christina's in bed.

And no one's even asked like, hey, where's what happened to Christina? Where's Christina tonight? They're just like get get crash lead. Let's have a good time Poor Christina. She's in bed like I just try not everybody Hey guys want to do a rosé bomb Zabong. I caught this is the widest cast I've ever seen in my mind. Yeah. And then Carl, and then there's a shot of Lauren on top of Carl. They're on like a shes lounge and he's like doing a push up with her. He's like raising her up and she's like, babe, stop, stop, babe.

Oh, Carl. Yeah. Carl, I'm really big to Carl. I don't want to crush you, Carl. And he goes, give me your weight. Oh my god. That's my if that's not a marriage proposal, I don't know what is. Carl, I mean, if someone ever said, give me your weight, I would chain them to a radiator and keep them forever. It's like the most romantic thing I've ever heard.

Give me your weight. Oh my god. I press you like one of those cats on on orders or whatever. I've had a flattened cat between boxes. This lady has so much safe. That would be my car. I'm keeping you forever, Carl. Carl, Carl, come here. I'm giving you my way, Carl. So then the next morning, everyone wakes up and they hop into a yellow van. I didn't know this match at school bus car. Got a car to joke.

And they go to like a rosé party where DJ rosé is playing. I mean, they really are hammering on this rosé thing. They will not let it go. Oh, the widest drink ever. It's like wider than Mountain Dew. I know. And the sad thing is I fall for it. I'm like, I want Rosé now. I like it.

You really know you've made it when you're like, yes, it's parody and have some rosé. It's like, oh, there's an expendable income. I don't need to be around. I know. The sweater tied around your shoulders. I will kill you, Ben. I will kill you, then.

So then they were gossiping at parties and, uh, or they were gossiping about their different dinner parties. And I think it was the twin who was, it was, or was it Jacqueline? Someone was telling someone about the story and, well, it was really bad. She was screaming, we don't have a problem. You're the problem. Oh, my God. Uh, also, uh, in the corner, Lauren was with Carl and she goes, Carl, I've never done had one minute of not fun with you. Even when we're fighting.

Carl Carl. Have you ever had one minute of not fun with me, Carl? Carl, how many minutes have you had that we're not fun? Carl? Carl, I've got to stop watch. Let's do like 60 seconds, Carl and see how much not fun we can have. Carl. Oh my god, Carl, you're having fun. Okay, let's go over. I'm gonna restart the clock until you're not having fun. Oh my god, I made it seven seconds, Carl. Carl. Oh my god, you're having not fun right now. No, I just suddenly had fun. Carl, I just suddenly had fun.

Let's do it again, Carl. Carl, I have some not fun. Okay, let's not have fun for like a minute. Okay, it's a 20 seconds, Carl. I'm like already having fun. This is, you know what, timing you not having fun is like actually so much more fun than I ever thought it would be, Carl.

That was so fun, that's not like fun, not. You know what I mean, Carl? Yeah, like, this is truly the most fun I've ever had all summer long, Carl. What do you think, Carl? Hey, Carl, you like to have fun, Carl? You like, you like to not fun, Carl? Carl, what's more fun?

You ever seen it? You know what, you want music, I want to see Carl? Not fun, Carl. Where's the Carl, not fun, Carl? What do you think about Alison Becht, Carl? Carl? You know about the want? Music I want to see Carl not fun house. Where's the call not fun home? Carl, what do you think about Alison back to Carl? You know about the Alice back to you know about the back to those. Is that your hot when you're mad? I really like it when you're mad, babe.

I can get mad more. Ah, that's awesome. Getting mad at some of my attention. And then he tells us like, you know, I know that like I'm Carl. So I missed things up for myself, but my intentions are good with her. Yeah, right. Let's see how long that lasts. He is such a faker. It is.

I don't know whether to hate him or just applaud him. He is so aggressively fake and so transparent. Yeah. He's like, yeah, did I mention that I paid my mom's rent this month? Oh, yes. What are we? Jeez, pig. So Carl and Everett are talking at the pool. And I didn't tell someone was they were talking about some girl.

And I didn't understand this douche line. And mostly I love their like 80s. Do she lines? But one of them's like, yeah, look at that girl over there. She go and shark cutten tonight. Oh, what did that mean? Because she was, there was actually a funny I thought it was a funny line because she was wearing one of those like sort of like I figure you call them when we were

We were top over a bathing suit and it looked like chainmail the sort of thing that you put on if you go swimming with sharks Because they can't bite through as much because it's metal. Oh, I was like it wasn't you see line is that it wasn't a metaphor I mean it could have been a metaphor, but it was like whoa, Captain A. It was actually a pretty funny illusion. Oh, well. So then Everett starts talking about how that's that about talking about Steven meddling with that whole situation with telling everyone that Everett was with four girls. He's like, yeah, that geek, him and Christina just love to meddle and kill other people's shit. I'm like, yeah, that's why there are favorites. Have you noticed? Yeah, and Carl's like so you guys moving in together and efforts like

Well, we were talking about moving in together Until she texted over with Diff Tina Ruins everything met a Tina Ruin everything, Medaltina! Medaltina! Not made of metal, not to be confused with the metal gear. A video game that accurately expresses my experiences out in the field. Is that girl wearing a full metal jacket right now or is she going suckin'? Ha ha ha!

Either way, I wanna be unbored, I got my knife. I'm sick of playing war games, Wartina. So, I'm gonna throw a grenade at Metal Tina and see how her ship loads up. And not the Bruno Mars tab, lady. Although, I love me some Bruno Mars, at least I did before I could see the metal to him and made him not like me back.

I thought grenade was a sexy song until Christina threw one right into the middle of my relationship. Now I can't even go to Grenada. It's all ruined. Anything that starts with Grenada. Kim Grenatel, you dead to me. I can't even have drinks the granadine in them. I told my grandma to go fuck herself and lose my number. I looked at that Shirley Temple and I just said, fuck you Shirley Temple. You got granadine or as I call it, granad Christina in you.

I went right up to the Grand Lux Cafe and I said, good luck. Ever being a cheesecake factory. Grand Eckers, Tina and you. I went right up to the Grand Lux Cafe and I said, good luck. Ever being a cheesecake factory. Lou, you're a geek. You know what I call you grand geek cafe. Oh, Charles, what are you talking about? Carl doesn't even care. Kyle's just like trying to hump a tree.

So Christina takes slenty aside. She's like, Christina, Lindsey, you want to talk, you want to chat for a sec? She's like, I'm okay. This is by the way. I ain't. One of many amazing scenes in this episode Because he was like well, I wanted to check in with you to see how things are going with you and Avra

And then he's like well me Avra Things are good. Yeah, I like think no things to you like we're still together So I'm so sorry or evil plans were foiled But we're still together totally great everything's great I almost stepped with four days last night and a guy that was made for a bad, but I didn't. And it's done now. So, and Christina's like, um, well, I'm asking because you had talked early in the summer about moving out. And now we have a friend who wants to move into your room. So what are your plans? And she's like, um, well, we haven't spoken about it.

Since we originally spoke about speaking about it. So like, yeah, I'm sweet. Matt. So then Lindsay is, so then, but Christine is basically saying, well, I just think that, you know, since it were like the Lisa's up, et cetera, we should have a 30 day notice. And Lindsay says, like, what do you, etc. We should have a 30-day notice. And Lindsay says, like,

what do you want for your life? Because I feel like you're 32, you have two roommates, don't y'all want to move out? I was like, that has nothing to do with anything, and it's so bitchy. And Christine is like, but you are the one who wants it to move out. And also, by the way, I'm 30.

And then she's like, do you care what I'm saying to you right now? It's like, Christine was like, um, please, she's two years younger than me. And I also looked better than her. And she's like two years older than me. And then, um, she's like, your jealous is like what I think? I'm just like totally jealous because like what I think? Like, you're just like, totally jealous because like, I'm younger and possibly getting a huge taco contract.

And I, who are you? Like, I'm sorry if I don't let people in. I guess you could say I have a hard shell around me. If you know what I'm saying, sorry, that was just the practice pitch for the taco comp. Man, I love the way that, that ever it grounds my meme, my mind like, it's like a say on topic.

Okay. She's like, you're like, Chris Gellos of anyone with a boyfriend? Like what you did to Lauren and she goes, oh yeah, I'm really jealous of your fucking PTSD abusive ass boyfriend bitch. Yeah. Oh, Christina.

I just couldn't believe that Lindsey kept on somehow. I don't know why she kept on trying to turn on Christina, you know, you're 32 and loving what's your romance. You should be concerned whether you're a situation. It's like Lindsey, you're the one who said you want to move out. She's just asking to follow up. I'll be it in a slightly bitchy way, but she's still asking for a follow up.

So yeah, so there's the jealous card thing and then that's where she says, yeah, Lauren says you're jealous too. And Christina is like, she's Christina basis. I'm just asking if you're moving out. And she goes, Christina, and she goes, Lindsay, and then Lindsay goes, of course I'm just asking if you're moving out and she goes, Christina, and she goes, Lindsay, and then Lindsay goes, of course I'm moving out. And the reason is because of you,

because you've been a bad front of me for no last three years. Yeah, she's like, what? I mean, what the hell? I always said wasn't she was a reliant reporter, Christina reporting. That's how you're always gonna live. I can't even talk to her because she's so stupid. What did what she literally said she literally said Repar Gibson reporting live that's how you're gonna live the rest of your life. I was like

Zing Like whether she really did that. She's like, um, hello. I'm reporter Christina Before the Christina just turned to the camera said well there you have a people This is reporter Chris he gets reporting live from Lindsay calling me a reporter, which I am so it's not really that insulting Thank you Lindsay by the way good luck with PR trying to get your clients to get some press coverage from the reporter that you're Meligning You fucking twit so Christina You fucking twit. So Christina does our favorite bravo thing ever, which is goes and cries in the bushes.

It's like a classic problem. She called me a reporter. I'm sorry. I'm still getting over that that put down. I just love that that this is where the women, this is where they've settled on as they're big insult salt, for Christina, repart our gifts. And that's what she does. Your reports, reporter, it's like, yeah, no shit. It's her career. Oh, look at Lindsey, PR maven Lindsey, look at her relating to the public, spreading words. And he pressed releases. There she goes. Yeah, no shit. She's a lady. Um, thanks for my dinner. There goes waiter! What? It's a lot waiter!

Loser! Way to drive my car, Valleah Chris. Valleah Chris, drive and gore, that's what he does. Get fucked. You have a nice bank teller lady. You have a nice day. Bitch. Bank teller, you're gonna be bank telling every day probably from nine to five

Barista Bonnie serving coffee a Starbucks. That's just what she does So then we cut to Kyle. He's now drunk Kyle and he's like And the and the gaze like that he's like a baby talking on everything. Like he hits on girls like he's Helen Keller. Yeah, I was like, I don't know whether to be laugh or be offended, but I'm just kind of off. He's like reading their moles. Like what the hell are you talking about? about. Patty Duke was there too actually was very strange. So then Kyle me sort of like Ukraine's answer to Amanda Safery which is this girl named Daria. Oh good. He's like hey, she's like hello. And he's like Daria that's some Game of Thrones shit. I'm like you idiot. It's an MTV shit. MTV. This guy he's like honestly fun single Kyle like summer Kyle. I don't know if it's working out

It's been one day since you haven't had your penis and something. Could you please calm down over there? Because someone just got him a melon with a hole in it. Please and down over there. Because someone just got him a melon with a hole in it, please. And these girls, whoever ends up with him, they're such low rent girls. And it's not because he's not hot and job, you know, gainfully employed because he is. Like he's cute and working, but he's just says the most horrible things to them. He's like, that's some game of thrones shit. And you know, I don't think I have a thing for Blondes, but I don't know, maybe I do. You know, this Blond's got a mate to keep the zero Blond gene alive. And he's like, but I am 100% blonde.

And he's like, yeah. So speaking of Blond's, Ashley sees Christina crying by herself. She's like, hmm, I think I should pile on. I'll be right back. So Ashley goes over to talk to Christina. And Christina's like, hmm, I think I should pile on. I'll be right back. So hmm, so Ashley goes over to talk to Christina. Right after the other twin is going, Hey guys, Rose party. Turn it up, guys. Turn it up, guys. You turning it up. Turn it up. Turn it down. Turn down for what? Carl, what do you want to turn down for? Carl,

what are you like doing more? Turning, turning down or turning up? I like them both, actually. What do you want, Carl? So, uh, this is fun, Carl, but it's about to be not fun. I don't want to see you when it's not fun. So turn it up, Carl. Turn it up. Carl, Carl, but it's about to be not fun. I don't want to see you win. It's not fun. So turn it up. Carl. Turn it up. Carl, Carl, turn up the music. Carl, Carl, Carl, I've had 60 seconds. I've almost not fun.

Carl. So yeah, the Christina has decided that crying on the sidewalk in front of a bus is awkward. So she like full on goes to a picnic area. I mean, where the hell are they? It's like off off a freeway somewhere. So Christina has adopted a new line of defense, which is I had four girls yelling at me. Do you know what it's like to have four girls yelling at me? So now these twins are anal and they

do not like bad facts. She's like, they were not four girls are galagy. I was right. Three. There were not four girls are yellow. Yeah, there were three. Can we explain what I was like for me crying? I was crying Carl. Yeah, I was not crying. I'm just going to say no Carl. No, Carl. Carl, I was crying. Was I crying? Alexis wasn't crying. I wasn't yelling.

I wasn't yelling. Yeah, it's what you need to do. You need to separate the issues because one of your issue is like, why someone else is mad at you, which has nothing to do with why I'm mad at you. So those are like different issues. And I just have to like walk down here for rolling my ankle. You know, it was really hard. It was really hard.. I am. I'm worth hot bride. I have nobody like

You're gonna have to do with you Okay, even crushy couldn't even make it down here, you know, like I was afraid of getting crushed. I don't want to do you I Christy would even come hug you and she's like the newest friend here like that's how terrible you are listen You're jealous of crashy. Why are you saying such bad things about Crashly? Why are you saying that her wheels don't work? Why are you saying that like Carl wants something more out of Crashly than she can get? Christina's like, yeah, but you guys are yelling at me.

It's just, I didn't yell at you. Tell me how I yelled at you. Tell me. Tell me how I yelled at you. Go ahead, I dare you. Tell me. You're doing it right now. Yeah, and she's like, are you like not in tune

with the reality Christina? And Christina goes, am I not in tune with reality? Are you not in tune with reality? I'm like, this is really getting nowhere. So then the twins are in their interview part. They're like, well, we have to take Christina breaks because overwhelming, like it's really overwhelming. I mean, we've been friends with her a long time and they're a bit like, it's a lot. It's like, it's really overwhelming. I mean, we've been friends with her a long time and there have been so much. Like it's a lot. It's a lot. It's like, it's totally overwhelming.

Like it's overwhelming. Carl. Yeah. It's like, I need a bro. Carl, like Carl, we're here. He would agree. Carl, on a scale of zero to 10, how overwhelming is Christina? And I have fun fun fun fun. Not she's not fun.

She's not fun. She's not like fun for 60 seconds. Like she's, I've had not fun with Christina for like 120 seconds many times Something Christina back to the fight Christina still repeating things. She's like Carl Carl. Like focus Focus at one point Christina said that like you know She was again, it's like there were four girls and then as she was like Alexis wasn't yelling Don't you dare to Alexis wasn't yelling. Alexis was not yelling.

It was like a thing. Like how could you choose Alexis of yelling? Alexis didn't even care. Alexis probably eating a hot dog somewhere. If you say Alexis yelled at you, I'm gonna throw a drink on your head. I swear to God, Christine. Yeah.

That's right, that's what she did. I swear to God, I'm gonna throw this out of you. I'm gonna throw a drink on your head. Freak. I like that. I like Mary Twent. So she's like, I'm not even gonna talk to you. I'm gonna keep a shrink on your head. Frick. I like that. I like Mary Twint. So she's like, I'm not even gonna talk to you. I'm gonna kiss me of yelling.

And then she walks off and curls as well. Kyle's passing by, probably looking for a treat of peon. And she's like, has everything go in? She's like, she doesn't get it, Kyle. She just doesn't get it. Like, she's me of yelling. She miscalculated people yelling at her. I mean, that is the end of it Kyle

He's like, uh, I don't like when people cry at Rose a party Yeah But then he was sweet because he was like I feel like I have to stand up for Christina because no one else will I was like, that's nice until next week when you betray her or she betrays you who knows So he goes to talk to Christina and he's like look, I know it's tough right now But at the end of the day, we're your friends and she's like you who knows? So he goes to talk to Christina and he's like, look, I know it's tough right now, but at the end of the day We're your friends and she's like, are you? I mean not you, but like are you are you my friends? Are you guys really? Are you my friends? I? Mean what do I know? I'm just reporter Christina reporting live for rest of my life

Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parents life, but come on Guys and kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding and thinking, oh yeah I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step

on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Porter Gibson. So the, uh, Mary goes to everyone else yelling like, can you believe she was saying I'm with yelling? That's their shape.

And the gaze just like, oh, just giving the foot like, when is this season over? I want to go see my transcontinental husband. So Kyle gives Christine a little pet talk and then Christina tells us, no good deed has gone unpunished this summer. Like, should I just be a bitch and it assholes everybody and be drunk all the time? Is that how it works? Like yes. And then it cuts to a shot of crowd sleeping face down by the pool.

Like yes. That's exactly right. That is how. So then a little bit later on after this party, Arat and Lensa are talking about the Christina conversation. She's like, yeah, I called her, Paragibsa, and it was like a really good put down, and I'm going to really say, pop-up press release about it, because I'm, you know, PR lady, Lensay.

And so she's like, yeah, she asked me if I was moving in together and like, we'll even more on forever. So yeah, I'm ever it like I told her you were 32 years old and you should be the one moving out. And he's like, she's like whether or not we move in, like, I don't even care about it because like, I'm moving out because I can't stand her. He's like well my tour at my current apartment is up soon and I'm gonna have to tell him do I have the stones to continue on in this place? Who am I gonna try? Get a new back.

You know, you're audio just totally disappeared there for a moment, but it somehow seemed to work with the music. It was like, oh, it was so good. I'm sorry. It just sort of like turned into like a whisper and went away. Oh, no. I'm sorry. Well, thanks a lot. We're just having trouble. I think that's the possibility of happens today. Thank you, everybody. I'm gonna go be 32 at alone in my closet. Well, Lindsay did something that I also hate, which is she was saying about moving in. She's like, well, you know, we're we're fine, but we're passionate. I'm like, I hate that shit. I hate when people say that. Well, we fight real hard, but we're passionate. I'm like, I hate that shit. I hate when people say that. Well, we fight real hard But we love real hard. I'm like, no, that means you're dysfunctional. I'm sorry. It means you're dysfunctional

Yeah, I love really hard without fighting really hard and Ask someone who doesn't know you but if I did and was possibly ran juice a friend in any way I don't want to hear you love hard and I don't want to hear you hate hard either How about you both just shut the fuck up and be a normal couple and let us get through one meal. How about that? How about that? But also you can see how this relationship is so doomed. Just this conversation is so bad.

He's like, well, my lease is up and I have to join a different military food, you know, whatever. And she's... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I could as easily kick your ass in a village as I could, you know, the part of the other sound. I see this. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. Oh, but lady. So she's like, Oh my God, you're going to like have to move out of your apartment and you like what you have to tell them what to do. And he's like, yeah, I got to tell him about the internet next week. She's like, you do? Yes, Lindsay, it's called giving notice. Yeah. You don't just say I'm moving tomorrow and they not pay rent. There's a reason why no one insults you, Lindsey by calling you land lady Lindsey because you don't understand

any of it. Because Christina, this echoes the fight with Christina, because Christina's like, well, like, I mean, I think it would be fair if you gave us a month notice, if you're going to move out, she's like, huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Month notice. Why? Well, that's crazy. I could do that. And so now Evan's saying it, she's like, you're gonna get some months notice.

I'm just like, yeah. He's like, so since I got a move and you got a move, I mean, I guess we should move him together. Like that's, that's, that sounds like it's gonna be a perfect step in this relationship. I know exactly. So then it's like Fun times at the house again, and we see them playing beer pong and Jacqueline is down by the ball like by the cops trying to seduce the ball If I was a real slut, maybe I would suck this ball down and blow it after my vagina, but I'm not. So I just sit on. And then they cut

to Christina, who's in bed again. Well, poor thing. I mean, Jesus, how many days do you have to cry? So the twins like, I'm really glad Alexis is here because she's my true friend, like she's really my friend. And then we finally get to hear Alexis talk. And Alexis is like, Hey, you know, I saw a brand. And every mad is he mad at me. No, he's not mad. He's just concerned that you know with him. And it was me. I'll be honest that feel to concern too that you know not with him. And it was me, I'd be honest, that feel the concern too, that you're not with me. It's like, well, no wonder Alexis doesn't talk much. Geez.

And Ashley is just doing this whole thing of like, I just feel like if I leave, then then I don't know, I have to leave Lauren. And I don't know if I should make the right decisions. Like, what about Carl? What about Carl? What's she gonna do with Carl? She's gonna have like, not fun with Carl.

I'm concerned she's gonna have not fun with Carl. And they cut to Carl and Lauren and the Gaziboo area and Carl is just you know Giving her more lines of bullshit with with faux introspection. He's just saying things like Yeah, you know you deserve a lot better for me, you know I really struggle with opening up which is not the same as open saying that you struggle with opening up is not really the same as opening up and Lauren's like, oh my god, Carl's really open up to me. Wow, Carl. Carl, I thought we're gonna have fun, but it turns out we're really just opening up. I can't believe we're having 60 seconds of opening up instead of fun. Oh wow, turns out opening up is fun. Carl, do you believe that? She's like, look at that exit sign. It's exiting right now. No smart, it just

says exit. But it's leaving. No smart. It just says that. Carl, where do I leave? How do I get out of the store? Carl. So yeah, he's doing that shady guy thing where he's like, you deserve better. But my parents are divorced. And because of that, I'm lacking chromosomes that don't quite connect with each other and let me feel that it's like when you're really hurting, I'm like, that's called being a sociopath. And then stupid Lauren, and this is why she's not going to be in a happy relationship any time soon, is because she's like, oh, no, that's not a problem.

It's just that you have this idea of yourself. That's not true. And you just don't give yourself enough credit. Like for what? He's an asshole. Yeah. I'm so glad that we found out that your scene was running all this because you're the good one here, Carl. Carl. There're so much better than Christina Carl.

You're one of those people who bitches about pigeons shitting all over the street and then you sit out there at lunchtime and throw them bread. You know, you're the problem. So meanwhile, speaking of pigeons and bread, Kyle goes on a date with Dary. Because when he was drunk, he made plans with her. It's sort of weird that they have a date with Daria because when he was drunk he made plans with her. It's sort of weird that they have a date for the next day. That was pretty quick. So it's like a totally unexciting date and he's like, so he's like, so how old are you? And she's like, oh, 23.

And then he just starts talking about Amanda. Oh my God. And this girl, did we mention that Kyle hooked up with Jacqueline or was she just sleeping in his bed? Do they hook up? No, they didn't. with Jacqueline or was she just sleeping in his bed? Did they hook up? No, they didn't. They just run the stitches. They just run the same bed. They weren't hirking up. But he's just going, you know, something that you should never do on a date is to go on and on and on about your ex. And that's what he's doing. He's like, yeah, so, you know, Amanda came over. I was going to be single Kyle, but Amanda was coming over earlier in the summer. So we were sort of hooking up. And now I've been single Kyle, but we were hooking up even Daria, even dumb Daria's

like, uh, and don't you call that dating? He's like, no. I also went on date with Steve Jobs, which is pretty cool, except that he was dead. This is one of those girls in the Hamptons that walks everywhere with a backpack. Because she stayed in some damn youth hostel. This girl does not care what you look like, what you do, anything. She needs a bed. So just give her a bed and do whatever you want with her.

And I guess he's using it for therapy because I know that he knows these backpack girls just the same as everybody else. He probably saw that backpack and was like, that girl is gonna listen to some Amanda stories. All night long. And she's paying for her own coffee to Kayla drink as well. Yes, exactly.

So then the next morning, it's time for brunch and everyone's going to this place and Ashley invited Christina to come to brunch but she never heard back and according to the footage that we see, it looks like Christina's packing up to go back into the city. So they're all I tried to be nice. So I have Friday, Christina, because I'm really nice. And I texted, but I don't know if she's coming. So I tried to be there for her, but I try to be nice. I'm not going to say anything to her until she

apologizes. I've got nothing to say. I won't be talking to her. Watch me not talk to her. This is my impression of me not talking to her. So Christina, how do you like me to talk to you? Yeah, but guys, I kind of understand it. because when you're living in a house and you're feeling left out She goes, oh yeah, well not until an apology missy. Yeah, I will not say anything until I get an apology Jack was like, oh Carl, we're gonna drive home tonight right? Like Carl Carl, go drive home tonight Carl Carl, we're gonna drive home We're gonna have so many 60 seconds of fun. Go Carl Carl. Are going home tonight? He's like, uh, yeah, I have a meeting. She's like Carl's meeting. That's cause meeting guys guys

Let's meet this quick. Carl's a meeting tomorrow. We got you got a prep for it Carl And then we get Christina trying to act like she's you know crystal on Like in dynasty or that was that was crystal careington. I don't know my mind is going anyway open-hard That's she. Oh, no. No, it was trying to be like soap opera vixen. Yes. Where she's like, here I come. I'm standing at the top of the steps with a rolling suitcase.

And now I will try and roll it down the steps. It's like Don DeGrasse. Christina is coming to brunch. I would roll my suitcase through the screen. Come on suitcase Wait one moment everyone it's it's snagged on a planter hold on all right hold on oh, it's tumbling down the stairs a little too fast for me Okay, oh Hello, I have arrived at brunch after all I'm going to just sit down dramatic Do you mind if I put my suitcase? Can I sit here as a room? Should put it over? I'm just afraid. I all I'm going to just sit down. Dramat. Oh, uh, do you mind if I put my suitcase?

Can I say here? Is the room should put it over? I'm just afraid I won't be able to open your okay. I'll put it here. Hello. Hello. I'm giving her a bag. Hey guys, I like her. Her big soap opera Vixen line. She's like, Hey guys. What's up? Oh, Christina girl. Dun dun dun dun.

The anger that what's up? So the twins like, oh, you're catching a train blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Christina is saying that she has a meeting at what paint tomorrow, which I'm surprised to not set up the twins. Why paint? Why paint? Why not paint watching paint dry? That sounds boring.

Not like me and Carl. How many jobs watching what paint? What do I have what paint? What like why not want to paint what much in paint dry? That sounds boring Not like not like me and Carl. It's like how many jobs watching what people what do you do when it dries? It's just to just start giving you a paint check Do you like paint Christina? You know, do you like like paint? That's poison Christina why trying to poison everyone Christina? Why should I go ownership of that Christina? Carl that pain wouldn't be so wet if you stopped trying to ruin this life Christina Carl, do I need to paint this? It would be dry paint. Carl, let the car dry Christina It's just like I just have a job interview. You know what's funny is that when the when the seat when the series began,

I thought Christina was going to be the um, sneaky passive aggressive girl who quietly was mastermining everything. But I actually really enjoy that she is the sneaky passive aggressive girl who just gets shat on by everyone. It still has no idea what's their minds. Nothing. I'm also just the thought of being the face of wet paint is so hilarious to me. We need a face of wet paint. So yeah, I'm going to be the face of wet paint possibly.

So it's huge. It's a huge steal. So the girls are pretending to be supportive, which is hilarious. And then they're like so passive. A great, they're like, wow, that's great. That's great. Right. That's great that you're doing something in your life.

Of course, you know, maybe now you can set metal. And you know what's funny with a web paint is you have to serve it in the bucket. But you like that. Don't you, Christina? Yes, sir, in that paint, you should, you should work for those store pink website. You ever, you ever talked to Benjamin Moore You like that. Yeah, there's a part where they shake up the bucket. That's sort of what you do when you shake up the bucket You open it up and it's like a color

And Lindsay's like what you got fired from wet paint. It's like no, I didn't say that So then Ashley in it is again trying to be polite is asking about Lindsey moving out, which by the way, she's like, so I heard that Lindsey is moving out. So can you come on that reporter, Gibson? By the way, asking about Lindsey moving out, you know what that is? It's meddling. Exactly. You ever know they all do it.

They all do it. And with the meddling stuff, I think Steven's more guilty in his meddling situation. They're different situations, but he was kind of a dick in his. I don't think he was really being a dick. Yeah. If Carl was mad at her, that would be one thing, but that the girl is mad at her for sticking up for her is total bullshit. Yes, is total, total bullshit. Yeah, Steven was doing it because he's bored. And he's just like, fuck it.. I'm gonna stir things up because I hate these people. But, you know, Christina really was not trying to stir shit up, but here when Ashley's trying to get the,

she actually is trying to set a trap for Christina to say something about Lindsay. So that way, they can report back to Lindsay, you know, be like, look at Christina. Reparta Gibson reporting live with more shit about you, you know. Yeah, the vast of aggressiveness was so funny because she's like, wet paint and the twins are like, wow, exciting. Whoa, great. And then Steven's like, Lauren is like a vulture watching a rabbit die in the street right now.

I was like, this show is so white. I love that that's like this aggressive fight. They're like, exciting. Whoa. He's like, oh my God, it's like a cage match. Yeah. So then when they're talking about Lindsey possibly moving out of Christina's like, hopefully, and so then Lauren goes, I think she's just trying to move forward. And then, of course, Christina falls for it and goes, well, we're all trying to move forward. And then Lauren's like, well, are you guys, well, are you trying to move forward? Because you

never get back to the conversation on Broadway'm brought up. You never did Christina. Oh, God. Yeah, because I was sobbing in the bathroom. And she, and then Christina goes to, well, you guys were yelling at me. And so yeah, there were like four people yelling at me. And she's like, it was three, Christina. Three people were yelling at you. You need to own what you did. And then the other twins like,

just say you're sorry, that's all we want. Just say you're sorry, then we can move on. Just say sorry. Carl, do you know what she says, sorry Carl? Carl, she says sorry. Carl, let's have some fun things, sorry. Wanna play a sorry Carl? Carl, I love that game, you wanna play a sorry?

Yeah, and she goes, look, I'm really sorry. I did not have bad intentions and I apologize. And please know that there were no bad intentions. And she goes, oh, good. Thank. That's all I wanted. Great. Everything's great now, right, Carl?

That's great now, Carl. In their diary room, she's like, that felt forest. That wasn't real. That didn't feel right. I didn't like how that felt. I like to go, as our mom always says, I'm in late and a dollar short. I was like, oh, is that a workers original? I'm like, a day late and a dollar short. As my mom always says, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

So work as original. I like that married twin. When she said that, she squinted her eyes and nodded like, yeah. She does that like over squid and nod thing, which is so funny. And she's the one he's always saying like, frick, holy hamburgers. Holy hamburgers. I wish I had that dollar, but unfortunately, I'm a day-lated dollar short. Carl, do you have a dollar? Every one time?

You're being smart. Don't be a day-lated dollar short, Carl. So Sunday, Everett is, Everett's grinning some chicken out on the patio. And it's them, Everett, Everett in Lindsay and Kyle and the gay. And Kyle's like, cheers to Everett for, you know, being able to throw some, some carcasses on a grill and not sob and jump under a table. He's like, thanks bro, working on it.

But I have to say, this grill reminds me of back in norm and someone said, you on KP and I said, hell yeah, I'm on KP and they said, good, we want some hot dogs. I said, you know what you're gonna get? Give hamburgers, not day I went out and got some hamburgers and I, oh, those hamburgers.

That's the last they ever saw. Does hamburgers? Cause those hamburgers were in the life. So there is making the dinner and crowds like, um, there's going to be some extras because my friend is joining us. And Lindsay's like, um, that me

earned in from doing and then like she gave 30 days. No, no, no. He's like, no, see, I Dan from Daning and like she give 30 days no nails. And he's like, no, see I'm in. I told you. That's for moving out, Linsie. Oh, I like that when Kyle's describing Durya, he calls her a smoke show and ever goes, yeah, love smokes.

Yeah, love smokes. So, uh, Durya comes out of the village. I left Berlin. We called it Smokey Love Village. Still haunts me at night. When I first got off that plane and walked through town, all those chickens that I was there to liberate them. Before you know it, I was at the local Afghani rouse asking if they sold all human bothersome to us. Every time I come up, I think about those innocent little children, tasting like beer and chicken.

And then they all got on the plane and escaped. And one of them sounded like Mel Gibson. Oh wait, that was just chicken run. It didn't even give me 30 days notice before they escaped. And to this day, anytime someone says they're through the coop, I cry, cry, cry. I'm going to be moving with Lindsey. It's like, whoa, what? you, we're moving in with Lindsey. So the dust shows up and she's like, I need to see a red and then she's like, um, do you want to see?

She has, um, do you have to see a red? And the gay goes, um, huge red flag. Yeah. Steven's just rolling his eyes. Lindsey is being so cold. This girl is ashing on a plate full of pasta salad And she's rolling a glassful of ice and they're having some ridiculous pattern with Kyle about I love the way that sounds And he's like, yeah, it's chemistry. It's physics. She's like more like chemistry

Didn't wasn't she blowing fog on the glass or something? Oh, it's not what it was. I didn't know. I think so. She's like, oh, look at the fog. Why does it do that? He's like physics. So he brings her down to the Shaz lounges at this moment. What does this mean? I'm so sorry to interrupt you, but I wrote a note saying ask Ben, because you're easier

than Google. I mean, we're already here, right? What does it mean when the gay goes, this girl makes Lisa Frank look like a subtle pattern? I think it was just a forced line that was fed to him to read. Who's Lisa Frank? Oh, God, I have to look it up. Albin, designer, Lisa Frank, stickers, clothing. Okay, go ahead. Oh, yeah, crazy. She's got crazy shit. It's like unicorns and it's like

for a moment, they were like, oh, wait, we're in Bravo here, at least a frank reference. So so Kyle and Daria are talking and he's both missing Amanda and realizing this girl is young and realizing this girl is young and This is not my brand so I know and she she's like a dumb hole, but she's smarter than him in so many ways He goes I stayed and you were contributing factor. She's like well, you know, but you should stay someplace for pussy And he's like Yeah, well, I'm trying to figure myself out she goes goes, and you are trying to do that through someone else. He's like, is that wrong? But the hell.

So then he's like, so let me get you a cab. I'm just kidding. She's like, how do I do what I look like? Like, you don't tell me. Yeah. I felt bad for her. She was like, all ready to get some. And then he says he's going to get a cab.

She's like, yeah, no, that's cool. I should probably go because my friends are waiting for me. You know, my friend, you know, I'm Jeffrey. You haven't met them? No. Yeah, they're totally waiting for me, which is why I've been walking around with the same basket. I mean, the same backpack for, you know, a whole week

and not changing my clothes, but okay, you have a good night too. She was telling him, it's crazy like how hooking up with your ex is it like cluster fuck you, you know, I did it. hooking up with your exes. It like clusterfuck you, you know. I did it. I did that with my exe was a sailor. It was on the boat called cluster. That fuck by so many guys. It hurt. Does your butt hurt? It's like, let's go now. So Kyle comes through in the Piffony that single Kyle's not as fun. He misses Amanda. So next weekend he's gonna bring out Amanda.

So, da da da da da da, New York City Montage talking on the street. We're working on the street on myself on it the same time. Let's meet for that 3 PM. I can't talk right now about to go into Mark Jacobs. We're work, work, work, work, work, professional. And Christina, is it the wet paint offices, which I find it hilarious that wet paint

has an office in New York City And the walls are finished. You know what the hell? They're not even dry walls So she goes in and she's like Like like freelancing as a reporter is a super fun summer job But now that it's fall it's the perfect season to shove a real job in Lindsay's fucking face, okay? So, they're like, so, what makes you good, paint?

She's like, well, I'm really good at writing articles that people want to read, but then can't because a thing pops up saying in order to read the rest of this article, you have to subscribe to a paint and then everyone leaves. Like, if you send me an email, it auto replies, I will write you back after you like my Facebook page. So that's what I like to do. How about you guys? They're like, we're just happy of a camera crew.

We'll call you in five days to give you the job. Just so we see seem sort of professional. She's like, we're going to get so many Facebook likes of this scene. And Christine is like, I have celebrity contacts and contact contacts. If you need new contacts, like, okay, it's a Webstags back to here. She's like, do you understand the irony that you are working for a company called web paint and you two ladies are very, very dry? Do you realize that?

No, okay. Why do you guys have wallpaper in an office about wet paints? That's confusing, I'm not gonna lie. Do you realize how scary it is to walk into the offices of Wet Paint and being afraid to touch any wall? I mean, what could happen? So funny that I'm here right now because a really white twin the other day is holding out was like a wet blanket. So I thought it was like a sign. I'm surprised when they said,

so Christina, what skills do you bring to would you bring to this job? I'm surprised you didn't say my skills. What skills do you bring to this job? Do you know how it feels to have two women yelling at me at a job interview? And then she goes into the other office and it's like, so I just want you to know those two women that are interviewing me, just watch out. Watch out. Christina, are you meddling with your own job interview? You're yelling at me, ma'am.

Okay, well, we'll call you by the end of the week. Oh, you'll call me by the end of the week. I'll call you by the end of the week. Have a good day. Me. Have a good day. Bye. Bye.

What? Fire. You. Bye. What? What? You're by. You're by. So then, um, uh, then it's like last weekend of the summer, which by the way, it was crying because it means the show's ending soon. And, um, everyone is in their car driving out to Montaugh and there's, we see Lindsay Avrat in the car and Lindsay goes let's Haka play a sasa Haka too. They're signing my I just have to be in the contract. Oh my. Her actual quote was I got that Chaka contract. It turns out we have to move to El Paso.

Old El Paso specifically. No, that's just a brand. Oh, that changes so much. I thought we were going to move in together south of the border. I was like, God, I thought Mexico is too big for a jar, but whatever. What do I know? Send it notice. 30 days.

Tell that we're going to move there. Turns out that Judge Lance Edo has a new brand of toast and he wants us to market it. It's called just Edo's. I got that taco contract. Well, everyone I said that. No, no, I was just trying to keep it straight to say I got that taco contract. I walked around my house saying that all night last night, like every time on the bachelor's, it was the women's hell. And every time they'd say something, I'm like, I've got that

capital contract. So, God, I've got to say every day now, everyone starts arriving at the house or whatever. And Lauren's like, or the other one, the twin. She's like, everyone, Carlisot dinner, Carlisot worked dinner and he will arrive tomorrow between 11 and 11 to five. Prepare to have the most fun minute of your life at 11 a.m. tomorrow. Prepare to have not not fun tomorrow. I have a stopwatch and we can all time how much not fun we have with Carl arrives. Carl, up, just got a buzz on my eye watch Carl just said yes to something in a meeting. It's great guys right now

My account Carl just got a little bottle of water at the at the meeting Not one to tall ones, but just one of the little ones that you get an Uber But he has one in the meeting so he's gonna be really lubricated when he talks guys wait you guys wait Carl's heart rate is that hold on coming in my hour watch. He shared with me, okay. Up, it's going back to having a good, guys. Carl's okay. Carl's doing okay. Carl is currently tapping on the table

and he's quietly checking his text, so no one can see him. Carl? You guys I'm having so much fun, but not as much not fun as Carl was here. Guys, do you think that Carl's having the most fun meeting ever? Because how could you not have fun

with Carl at a meeting? That's probably actually the best. Normally, I wouldn't like to have a business dinner on a Friday night, but with Carl, it'd be actually like super fun, right? Everyone is just looking at her like no one cares. So Carl announces, guys, Amanda's coming to stay for the weekend and Judgey looks, Judgey looks.

It was like a combination of Judgey looks and we don't really care. Cause he starts saying how like, yeah, you know know I had my fun. I was thinking about it And I really want a man to come and was like okay, so we don't give a fuck when we order pizza and then Jacqueline's like So like we're my gonna sleep tonight. He's like, I don't know. We got to figure it out yourself. You fucking bitch So mad he's like Yeah, I got so mad. He's like, we're not eating. And she's like, yeah, but, you know, we all

made the same amount of rent. He's like, what are you? A mathematician, Miss Matthew Math. A small math math. Jockelin's like, uh, whoa. I'm trying to find a way to flirt with this aggression, but it's very difficult. But this is the same episode.

This is the second time in an episode where someone who's used their job against them in the sentence. He's like, whatever it might. What do you fit metal Jacqueline? That's a scoop for you reporter Gibson. And I like that Kyle goes, I'm telling you that a personal milestone in my life. And you're like, where am I going to sleep tonight? I'm like, this is a personal milestone. You are very privileged, sir. Also, how much have you really changed? She's like, guys, this is not single cow. This is regular cow. They're like, okay, you look the same.

And he's like, well, I'm not. Because I still say things like, I want to hang out with my wang out. So now, probably the very best moment of the episode for me is Christina gets a call during this ridiculous fight and she gets the job and it's great. We're all very happy for Christina because as much as we're making fun of it, WebPaint is a really big site and that's actually a really big deal that she gets on this website.

So Christina comes back into the kitchen and she's like, she's attempting to be carefree reporter, Christina Gibson, and she's like, well guys, I am going to pour myself some rosé because guess what, I got a job. And everyone's like, cheers, that's awesome. And then he never goes, yeah, Lindsay got a new client. And Lindsay goes, yeah, I got a new client on the car on the way out today.

And Christina is, I mean, the look on her face she had, and so she has this gridded, she with between gridded teeth, she just goes, oh, was that, was that restaurant guac? It's funny because I was at guac earlier this week and the manager came up and said that they were looking to get some publicity. And I said, oh, yeah, well, Lindsay, yeah, she's good. And he said, oh, well, should we go with her? And I said, yes, you should go with Lindsay Hubbard. So look at that. I had a chance to even enter all the shit that you've talked about me this summer,

and all the times you've cut me down. I have the opportunity to do that to you, and I didn't take it. And the gay is like, she's not known for her eloquent. And either am I, and recapping her non eloquence. That was so funny, but that was a dick move. Let's say, oh, really? Congrats on your website thing. Have you ever heard of a tackle Yeah, guys, I'm going to be sending pressure leases out for a restaurant called Gwok.

So I mean, web pants cool. That's like a, you know, a national website that like a lot of people know about but guac I don't know kind of a deal breaker You guys has anybody here heard of guacamole? Okay, did my job job done need a raise? Christina was so mad and just I mean They're The Christina's timing is so bad. She hears everybody yelling in the kitchen. She's like Wow guys guess what I've got great news. Wait, maybe you should save this. Yeah, save it for when everyone's not already tense.

Because there's the blue that's great. Maybe I should get another job since people are calling me fit model. You know, it's funny that you're a fit model is that I just on a contract with a taco truck. So they have food that fit models can eat. So don't come. Jacqueline. She know what else has the perfect fit every single time a taco. You heard it here. Christina is just angrily stabbing a knife into the counter at this point with Jacqueline. Fuck you. So Amanda, Amanda drives that in glasses and I put bad sign. I don't know why but I think what you mean it's like

Okay, here's this guy who doesn't want to commit again I'll just throw on the glasses and put my hair in a ponytail and drive for three hours. Oh come on Amanda Make an effort. We knew that we knew I knew that she was going down because she got her first confessional the season At least the first one that I can remember. Yeah, they want they need to get her side of something. So it's going to get bad. I know, but that was presumably shot after all of this, which made it really sad for Amanda because stupid fucking Amanda.

Like, you have no gay telling you this is going nowhere. He's too old for you. He doesn't care about you. And he's going to cheat on you for the rest of your life. Come on, girl. Yeah, girl. So he's like, she goes, he goes, I got to come clean with you because this is a new Kyle.

I'm like, you come clean with her every time you talk to her. It's going to be the same conversation. What's the come clean with you guys? You're single. Well, supposedly, except he keeps saying that. But then he's like, well, but I really like you. So she, in the confessional, she's like, I mean, the like, I wasn't expecting to call me, but of course, like, no question. I want to spend time with him because I do

think that he loves me.. He free balls for me. Like at first I thought he wasn't wearing underwear, but then I found that he doesn't have to because it's like this new kind of short that he made. I mean, that's huge. I liked meeting the person who invented water. I liked to pretend that I'm the mesh in his fur dog underwear shorts. So he does the usual speech when he's like, you know, I broke up with

you because I decided that it was time to be Kyle, single Kyle. So single Kyle came out here, got wasted. He did some hang out with his wang out, you know, the usual bumpity, bumpity in the night. Things that go bumpity bump bump. Little Roger rabbit here in there. Bra. Put on the oil. Mullet wig. You know, good. That is. Oh, yeah. That's actually one of my favorite things you do. Kyle. But you know, single Kyle made out with Jacqueline. And of course, it didn't mean anything. And she's like, how many times is it not going to mean anything Kyle? He's like, well, also we kissed again. And she's like, what am I even doing here? He's like, look, I need someone to hold my iPad while I'm making it with Jacqueline. Am I not making myself clear?

I was like, okay, I'll stay. I then was like, TV continued. And so that was our penultimate episode of Summer House. So, so get the Christina shit was amazing. It was. And I love watching, you know, dysfunctional couples on all of these shows. But this is the first one I've seen that is constantly somebody breaking up with somebody else. Like every time Kyle has been with her, he's like, well, you know, I like you and everything, but it's time to be single, Kyle. Just like, dude, you can't just keep breaking up with me every time we see each other.

We're not dating. I know. Oh my God, I'm gonna miss this show. So much, I can't believe we only have one episode left with his knuckleheads. Yeah, it'll be back and everything's about to change in our little crap in this universe because it's that time of the season where every show starts changing over. Yes, so I think March is going to be sort of a weird schedule and then by April all the

new shows will start and then we will have more of a solid schedule. But so fun, so fun because you know what happens in April we get Southern charm We get Potomac, but also we get real households in New York City who's trailer came out this week and oh man We didn't even talk about that. Oh, we didn't okay. We have to do it on the Monday show then okay So out on Monday after everyone's had a week to process this trailer We're gonna dive into it. Perfect. Perfect.

Everyone, thanks so much for listening. Thanks for tuning in this week. Hope you come back next week. Super fun, Ronnie. You're a dream. Ben, I love you so. Have fun on the rest of your trip. Give your mom some birthday make-outs for me.

I'll leave you. Okay. Bye everyone. We love you, bye! Bye! the Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.