Watch What Crappens - #415 RHOA: Triflin’ Alhoa

Episode Date: March 21, 2017

The Real Housewives try and have a good time on their last day in Maui, but triflin’ memories come back to haunt them. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Also, check out Ronnie’s new TrashTalkTV RHOBH Audiobook podcast at tttv.podbean.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crapens add free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air, come over to facebook.com-watch what crap ends that's patreon.'ve all run you on crap. Kicks, what happens, what happens, so much that happens? Watch what crap ends would like to thank its sponsors, Christy Doherty, and Mia Hansen-Loha,

and our very special super-subscranis sponsor, Miss Madonna Hines, Mads with a sexy T! We love you girls. Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crappens. The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Yil, Braw, I'm Ronni Karram from Trash Talk TV's. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Audio Books podcast. And I'm with my gorgeous little friend Ben Mandelker

of the B- side blog and the banter blender holo bin. Hello, they how are you? I'm just doing so great. Welcome to Monday, huh? Thank you. Monday gets a special accent for me, which is what that weird hello was. So, you know, well, welcome back from New York City. Thank you. It's so nice to be here in the warmth of Los Angeles. How wonderful. We missed you, babe. Did you have a good St. Patrick's day? I sure did.

Drink a little face off. Yeah, that's good. That's always fun. That's a good way to celebrate. Down the nobody. Where's green? They're like, I'm too good for green. But I'm I won't say Patty Sam. I wore green pants that were size too small for me. And it was really uncomfortable. But it's what you do for St. Patrick's Day. Well, I think a huge part of being Irish is being uncomfortable. Like everything I've

ever seen about Irish people, it's like uncomfortable. There's not like a lot of happy movies about Irish people. I mean, they had a potato famine. Yeah, this comfort is the name of the game. Speaking of real housewives of Atlanta. Yes, I watched this at like one, 30 in the morning last night. So even though I wrote down notes, it's all gonna be sort of like a fever dream for me. I think this show is a fever dream to anyone who watches it. It's very traumatic this show. It's just a fever.

Just you feel sickly. You feel when you walk your legs feel heavy. Yeah, a lot of deep stuff happens. It hurts sometimes at the end. I mean usually I'm laughing the whole time But then after when I'm kind of going over notes and thinking what was really happening I'm like, why was I laughing so hard? It's like all those queens who watch mommy dearest and they laugh I've never done that like with a group of gaze. I mean, I know you didn't go to gay college but still I mean, I have not watched mommy dearest with gaze But I've been in bars where a clip will come on and the Gaze will start to howl and do all those

things when it comes on. But I haven't actually seen a full viewing with the Gaze. Yeah, my first time I was like 15 and I was watching with all these theater Gaze. And you know, the kids getting beat and they're like laughing their asses off. And it just felt so weird and gross, even though I do it now because I'm programmed. But that's how real housewives of Atlanta feel sometimes. Like mommy-darris.

Yeah. I'm like, why am I laughing at this? They're just beating the shit out of each other. I mean, emotionally, well sometimes physically. Yeah. It was, you know, I have to say, through my fever haze that where I didn't have an actual fever, I do remember thinking at one point,

this is a really great season of Atlanta. It's been really good. Oh yeah. You know, because you know, and I know, Broken Record, I'm always saying, that sometimes this show is not about real shit, but this season is about real shit. Sex dungeons, you know,

perhaps maybe the exception, but that's at least super funny shit And they sought their reunion last week and Andy put out a snapchat that someone posted for us and he's like whoa Whoa guys, oh Some stuff came out Whoa Wasn't it it's a whole thing. Someone slept with someone, right?

Portia slept with someone. I forget who. Oh god. I don't even know. I don't want to know. Okay. I don't want to be spoiled. Yeah.

There was something. I saw some people sent us links. We were also sent links. Someone tagged me in a Cairo. Shreysson. He has sex videos now, because he was basically Snapchatting, stroking his dick, and someone, of course, saved that and put it on the internet. Which, of course, we all enjoy and appreciate because Cairo is, you know, very fine. But it was kind of funny because someone tagged me and was like, on my Facebook page, look, man,

look, here's a sex tape with Cairo. I'm like, great, thanks for putting that on my Facebook page. What if my dad comes on my Facebook page looking for Scotch tape? Yeah. It's gonna be more than five. Yeah, I wasn't too impressed with the Cairo sex feed. I think that that wasn't very impressive.

I feel like he should keep his clothes on. He's hotter with his clothes on. I'll just say that. I don't want to pee in the shame, somebody. But, I don't know, keep your clothes on. You're not a Kardashian, okay? That's not the road to fame. Sex tapes don't work the same for guys, you know? Or don't show your face. Don't show your face, Carol. You just have to be smarter about it. Well, I think he was doing it on purpose, wasn't he? I mean, it seemed to me like a total Kardashian move. Yeah, it probably was. I think actually the kids these days are a little desensitized to the idea if it doesn't bother him then fine but

You know that stuff can be career limiting, but these days, I mean everyone has a sex tape It's like I think it's not as Crazy to have new to yourself get leaked out into the world. Yeah, other things that can be career limiting, modeling for cargo. Both Cynthia Bailey's brand and just going on to a cargo ship and just trying to do that. Sashay. Yeah, at least in this one we got a penis to judge. Yeah. What are you doing for us, Cynthia?

All right, so let's jump into the show here. Okay. So we're still on Hawaii and everybody's pretending, you know, they're busy still. I mean, Candy and Todd have a baby, so that, you know, that's real. But then Sheree on her phone call with her publisher was hilarious. She's like, well, I hope Miami is conducive to writing because your books do in two days. She's like, yeah. My book's gonna be finished in two days. She probably hadn't even started that book. I know. I mean, and let's be honest, it's probably just an ebook. Let's be honest. You got baseball? You're supposed to, you got to cut a model? It's gonna be a home. You got to buy a

home remodeling book. Sheree's life told through on the dime, home remodels. You got a doorknob? I got a doorknob. Chapter two. It's just crazy. She just consolidated a whole bunch of IKEA manuals and just essentially like a strange picture book. The cover is just Saray holding onto an L-Rent. Look at Diana L-Rent. Putting to get building her shadow with nothing but an L-Rent. Her publisher is like, I love the chapter about being blind.

She's like, no, it's just saying, you got blinds? I thought you were gonna get a noscrad of this, Saray. Big D first, Saray. Camera got cocked. Yes,. D. Carrow got cock. Yes, we've seen Cairo's cock. No, to put the cracks. I loved. Oh, wait, I almost, I tried to make a pump

but I realized it was totally wrong. I was be like, I love the part when you went to Paris. You're like, no, that's Plaster Paris. Then I realized Plaster Paris is not a construction tool. That's just plaster. Plaster construction, plaster Paris is what I made my seventh grade project, uh, my, the Batomouche at a plaster Paris. I wouldn't be surprised if Chateau Cherey was built with

plaster Paris. It's just like a bunch of different like balloons that were blown up and covered in plaster Paris. I'm just a lot of old newspapers. Don't light a match. You got it, look, look, look, look, look, look. You got spooks, spooks, spooks, you. Oh my, so then it's not that weird.

It's not that weird. So then in Todd and Portia's room, Portia is letting Todd see her without her eyelashes again, which means they're really in love and possibly going to have a baby soon. Yeah. And Candy's on the phone with Rale. Yeah. So basically the first scene is Porsche and Kenya playing tennis.

Oh yeah. But I say, I always do that. Well, people can't have two P's. They can't have a P in their name. Well, I know we have Fadre and Porsche Kenya and candy. It's really annoying. Yeah, it's a lot too much. Cynthia Kenya. Fadre and Kenya, Fadre and Kenya, the new friends are playing tennis. Nothing but love. But Fadre says, she warns us that as much as she's enjoying her budding French with Kenya,

she's still wary. She's been listening to Frick and will not be sharing any personal details with Kenya, which is probably a smart, smart move. Well, she doesn't really share personal details with anybody, you know, and then you find about it, find out about it later and then she lies about it and then some blog writes about it. She kind of admits it. Yeah, I mean, she did tell her mom that she gave birth at six months. So, you know, you know, it's a six month, six months. So, she's a little closed off and has trouble with the truth. But you know what, no matter how much fade relies, she always says things like,

girl, I like my sushi on a plate that don't walk away. I didn't really understand that, but I appreciate it because I do too. Oh, that was just like, yeah. I really actually like vaginal sushi. That's what I came here for. That's what I came here for. I like the imitation crab. Yeah, they're still just making lesbian jokes because I don't even know how,

so who knows how it ever starts here, but they just started making lesbian jokes because two of the girls are supposedly not scared of sushi. And she's like, I want my sushi on a plate that don't walk away. And then Kenya's like, yeah, well, you know, oh, yeah, Kenya tried to hit the ball and fell down and Fadre was like, this ain't the French open girl. And she's like, yeah, well, we don't need the French open because we

got two Frenchies who like the French kids below. I'm like, you two really. It's a stretch. I'm not saying that just because her legs were out of stretch on the turf. It was a stretch. It was a strange. It was strange. I kind of was like scratching my head through this whole scene. I'm not going to lie. I didn't understand really anything. I'm like, why are you guys even playing tennis? You can't do it. Yeah. Did they have one of you just getting a vatch waxing? Like what happened to that storyline? Could one of you just have like a little fake beer and a box? Yeah.

While we go back to some of our old favorites, I think we're realizing tennis just does not. Listen, Real Housewives, there was a time when tennis was the shit and it was on real houses in New York when it was the Jill Zarin and her pro. No, was it Ramona? There was a whole thing. There was like an ongoing thing where Luan, it was like Luan versus Jill,

Luan and Jill versus Ramona and Mario. Something like that. Remember, it was a big thing. That's where I like the tennis to stay, right there. Or when Camille was fucking her tennis pro on Real Housewives of Perfidio. That was so fun. The Perfidio's and so sick.

Yeah, she was on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. That's why. And she was like obviously throwing that guy. Oh, and a guy. That's guy. Hi, Mo. Mo. Hi, Mo. Hi, Mo. Hi.

Hi, Mo. Hi, hi. Mo, can't say to me, why are you kissing the tennis ball so much? I thought it was Kelsey. The tennis ball still won't talk to me. Yeah, it's this. So then meanwhile it's So Cynthia decided to bring him room service to celebrate his birthday. She's like not to be confused sex on a platter

I'm like, yeah, that's right because when you bring food to Peter, it's more like sex on a dirty napkin I I'm like, yeah, that's right. Because when you bring food to Peter, it's more like sex on a dirty napkin. I'd like to even elevate it to platter, Cynthia. I like that she didn't even order it to his room. She ordered it to her own room and then wheeled it down the hall. I'm brought it to his room. That was the weirdest thing. I mean, what the hell said the, uh, uh, hand, hand hand job on a kind of Rick Shaw. I will never forget that. I will never forget that hand job. And Cynthia will never be okay with me. By the way, there was

rumors this week in that blog, which I forgot the name of Be Allen. What's that blog? Yeah. Yeah, love. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. And they say that Cynthia already got five. Oh, yeah. Love be Scott. And they say that Cynthia already got fired. And I don't believe that because they don't announce that shit this early. And they're and they even said that in the article. They're like, well, they don't announce it this early, but they're going to need the money for Neenie and Kim. Mm. So interesting. That'll be interesting. You know what's not interesting?

Cynthia and Peter, okay. Yeah. So they're sitting there having this breakfast. It was just rolled. Lord knows how long to Peter's room. And she's like, well, Peter, this is our last day as husband and wife or our last birthday celebration. As husband wife, it's also our last vacation vacation as husband and wife. He's like, I was going to call you in the middle of the night last night because it feels so weird. Like being in the same hotel with you, enough to say, but it's weird because you have to pay for things. That's why. Yeah, exactly. But you're on the way now. I was going to go to one. But then I fell asleep because I wasn't worried like normal. That were gonna be knocking on my door saying my credit card was

decline So we're being in this hotel alone, but there wasn't like a highway over it was weird And Cynthia says with all our problems Sex wasn't one of them like you never fucked your husband't we already talk? Wasn't this like a whole season of story to mine about how Cynthia was refusing to bone Peter and then she tried to prove to people that she did by giving him that hand job during massage time when her daughter came in. So I see Peter, this is why I never have sex with you. I feel like there's like as much sex appeal there as like, you know, going down on a, some soft serve.

I don't know. It's like the sex appeal of walking to her bell, basically. Like, yeah, it's like cookie-puss. I don't know. It's just, I shouldn't say that because I actually do find Carfell to be very sexy. But just, the last thing I want to think about is them having sex. I've been watching a lot of plan or two and that stuff has has has more eroticism than these two. The birds f***ing up against the tree

had more believability and more sexuality than these two. So she gives him a Bible and it's like a bedazzled Bible which is really weird. She's like, well, the match was just going through the house and dazzled Bible which is really weird. She's like, well, the match was just going through the house and found this Bible that I let my kid be dazzled things too. And Peter's like, it felt like I filled marriage. Like, yeah, well, you did. So, yeah, you got that right. Yeah, you basically failed. Yeah, you married a supermodel. You bamboozled her into marrying you under dinosaur and moved down to Atlanta. And then you cheated on her with a girl in the club. Yeah, Charlotte. Where did he move to?

Charlotte. Charlotte of all places, Charlotte. Of all places to leave someone for. With their bathroom laws. She's like, I was a good friend, but not a good wife. You're like, that makes me feel better. You really never want a marriage. Like, she didn't want to pay for all your failing businesses

fool. She never says you don't want marriage, you jerk. But then you can't be on Cynthia's side either, because her interview dress is like this weird thrift store ball gown with a fur glued to one shoulder. It's like, I can't wait for you. Why do you hurt yourself like this, Cynthia? Why? And she's like, I ask myself every day, could I have bought

a more businesses? Could I have made this work? And I've gotten a line of credit. Maybe in a bank of America instead of just Wells Fargo. It's like that scene at the end of Shinner's list when he's like, I could have done more. I could have done more. She's like I could have done more I could have done more She's like I could have I could have run to have more warehouses. I could have there are so many warehouses to take on I could have done so much for his businesses

She's like I could have gotten him so much more credit. I could have saved so many Jewish people. Whoa Cynthia. Whoa You're in the girl in red dress. It's too high there. Okay. And girl in red dress comes by and then just blows beater. She's like, how could he? While she's wearing cargo. If you're listening to this, you probably love podcasts just like us. Let us tell you about a new podcast we'd love called serial kill is. Yeah, guys.

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Peter is to Peter is to start for Peter! Peter is the best boy in the city. It starts for... We're gonna do a T-Tucker production to roast Peter for his birthday. I'm like, oh god, what's a T-Tucker production? Please don't call it T-Tucker Productions anymore. Yeah, it's gonna be canceled by halfway through the party. It's just gonna be like the car, the Tucker.

A man in his dream Yeah, that's a little reference for everyone a little reference to like a 1987 movie the Jeff bridges Oh my god a car. How did a Jeff bridges movie even come into your mind when talking about Peter I'll talk about T Tucker a T Tucker production Well, no because the Tucker I talker of vehicle was just never really made it to market. So it's totally opt. They had really high hopes for it, but it just kind of puttered out in the middle of the cold sack. That's actually better than the roast.

I have to say. Yeah, I think we, this roast, I mean, I have never pined for the good old days in a Kristen Doudy roast in West Hollywood. I know. And when I saw this tea talker production. Yeah, this real mate, this made Doudy look like on it. This made this made Katie, Katie's zinger towards Jack's look like deaf comedy jam. singers towards Jacks look like deaf comedy jam. So they've decided to throw a roast for Peter and counties in a better mood today. She's not raging.

She's like, I want to sit back to them because they're tabulating it all the time. Yeah. But I like when Cynthia goes, Cynthia, like, tells the woman, she's like, well, instead of roasting a pig, it'll be Peter who's roasted. And they cut to porcesters like, wow! You can see she just had an envision of Peter rotating on a spit very slowly. I can't believe I killed Peter. Peter, I'll help you dig a hole you could get on the underground well well

Peter I got some good Bob, but you saw for you just in case So Bob comes in and he's all cross-eyed as usual and he's like I don't know if she Ray won a suit by me And there was a flashback of hatred. Yeah, he's like, poor. Why? Who said that? Who said that? They didn't have a call back to that. Candy was like, why you say that?

See? No. I said that. Right. Why do I talk to Bob? Talk about why he said that. No, right. No, Candy. What are you saying? I don't even know right now, there's a spirit.

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who's Sory is missing still? And everybody's asking where she is. And Peter's like, where's Sory? And Bob's like, she went to a volcano somewhere. What does that mean? Well, it's funny because Bob was like,

I'm just trying to be a better Bob, you know? And he's like, so where is she? She went to a volcano, you know, stupid bitch. What does that mean? I don't get the reference. It wasn't a reference. It's just like, you know, there are volcanoes in wine. I don't know, she just, they bit,

I thought it meant something like, no, no, there was no reference. I thought there was like a subtle slam there that I wasn't kidding. Oh, Bob, it's not drinking a drop. It's not drinking a drop with your with your handle on English, Bob wrote like an apology on social media. It wasn't good, but he wrote one. If anyone's interested, you can find it by searching. I'm sorry

for not remembering. Uh, things you're accusing me of. I was like, you went to Stanford and this is what you wrote. So then the Todd Tucker production begins, the Tuck of production, Tuck's. And it's, oh, cause Shreya does show up eventually. And show up, Shreya puts on like a brave smiling face. She doesn't wanna be there, but she's like, I had a big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big,

I did my Shreya thing too fast for me to actually get my words out, but feel kind of accurate to what she said. When she say do it again. I have to be baseball to you. baseball, you got this one? You got this one? It's like there's a middle of a grass. A big grass part. You got this one? It's like stop competing with everybody. Sure. Right. This stage got this one. This stage got this one. Peter's like we we thought you fell in the bucket, nope. And she's like, what?

I was talking to my publisher about the book. And then she does this thing where she starts rubbing her neck. And I was like, oh, no. Please, that's not talk about this again. Let's all just try and have a nice episode, okay? And she's like, I don't want to have this conversation around the man. Oh, yeah. Awkward. So Todd's like, don't want to have this conversation around the man. Oh yeah. Mm-hmm awkward so Todd's like oh well these uh these dancers like we got them and they're

gonna like dance and so the dancers dance and uh people say yep it's my beat. It's my beat beat it's Hula. So yeah so Todd's like all right we're gonna start we're gonna start the the roast now So candy why don't you go up here and candy's like see now He's like Club one is like see now you know the most Like a great one candy. I like like that she said if I said If we do this in my come I I don't know if I'll see it, Peter. Wow.

Candy and Todd were like a very strange lounge act. They were kind of like up there together playing off each other, cracking jokes, but like nothing was very funny, nothing was really landing. They're just, I just kind of felt like I was at some strange hilton near an airport. You actually were. That's like literally where you were in this scene. But you know who loved it though was hot Todd because he was cracking up at everything. Candy was like, see?

Now Peter loves yogurt and he's like, yeah, hot Todd is a little too into it, which means if it isn't just great, you know, and Todd, Todd, another joke was when I saw him with the supermodel, I said, wow, how did he get her? He must have money. Then he turned out he gets money from her. I'm like, that's not a joke. That's just a really sad fact. What are you doing to him on his birthday?

God. It's like just like me and being like, well, the first time I saw Ronnie, I said, wow, he's overweight. And now I'm seeing him today and thinking, he's even more overweight. He's like, wait a second. I feel like the women should just gone in on him.

Like, oh, you divorced and yet you're still here on our vacation. Look at you, like, still hanging around. You can't, like, get enough of it. You're like, like, the seventh housewife or whatever. But everyone was just, yeah, they were just, I don't even remember what they were saying. It was just stupid stuff. And Cynthia, I mean, when it was time for Cynthia to give her roast, she gets up there.

This is her roast. I think Peter and I represent determination. What the fuck was that? give her roast, she gets up there. This is her roast. I think Peter and I represent determination. What the fuck was that? And also, how are you saying you represent determination? You're getting divorced after like two years. And then she starts going, well, you definitely brush your teeth like no, well, that's for sure. You get all over in the back of the tongue. All right. She started complimenting how he brushes his teeth. And then get the accidental material always always kills.

Yeah, candy is like, talk about the gray hair on his balls or something. See? Now pop a balls. So yeah, it was just awkward. And I liked what Shreya in the interview was like. With the time for Shreya to roast him and she goes. She goes, Shreya goes, well, they want me to roast Peter, which is funny because he looks well done to me.

And then the camera just stayed on her for like 10 seconds while she waited for someone to laugh. You heard one PA in the back like laughing through a donut too. He's like, you got done it? You got done it? You got a wrist? So the next day, Kenya has found a man to shoot with. Unfortunately, he works at the hotel. Yes. And he's like, hello hotel person. I want to throw a party, a divorce party. One is my BFF and one is my NBF. And he's like, what's that?

And she's like, new best friend. He's like, look lady, I'm the Bellboy. OK, do you want me to drop off your luggage or what? I'm not planning a fucking party for you she's like here's what I need she starts giving him a list I'm like that is not a party planner okay yeah he had no idea what she was like I think the theme will be a loha because you know a loha means hello and it means goodbye he's like yeah bitch I live in Hawaii I think I'm an idiot she's like hello and she flips her hair.

She's like, goodbye. And then she starts naming all the stuff she wants for the party. She's like, I want a banner that says like, I do, I did, I'm done. Because a little how means hello, hair flip, and goodbye. It's like, okay.

She's like revving up to do some twirls. And even she realizes, you know what, I'm just not going to do it this time. It's just going to be lost in them. I'm just going to just go wrap this one up now and walk out the room. That poor bus boy. I mean, that bus boy looks so awkward. It's like he'd actually been dating her for six months. Is that why his fists were so bloody? It's wondering just, you know, glass windows. He's all in her hotel room breaking her windows, yeah. Wait a second. He's leaving rambling Instagram videos everywhere now.

They're like, well, you know, Charles was so kind and sweet when he was on the concierge desk. But now all he does is ramble about how he's been manipulated by the woman in room 237. Don't go in that room. Next is a sunset ride on a catamaran. And the boat bartender is like, Aloha and Kenya is like, bye. Like flips her hair into the trail. Yeah.

So this is weird. You know, the Porsche, by the way, is expecting some weird thing where you throw cats and they like come back to you like a cat. Right. What's a cat in the end. So this is a weird scene because it's half party where everyone's like, woohoo, it's our last day. Yes. And then Bob and Sheree at some awkward table downstairs on the boat, kind of hint talking about their abuse. I was like, this does not feel like a hug scene. OK?

Can we move the kids on land? Yeah, it was very intense. So they're talking. And Bob, of course, he's trying to make amends. And he basically starts by saying, well, I should leave my sit in there referring to the jewelry shop when Shreya walked out. Like, why'd you leave me sitting there?

Like, he's the victim here. Like, poor Bob left alone at Zales. Yeah. It was supposed to be fun. I mean, why were you mad? Because I don't take anything serious. Is that how you feel? She's like, uh, yeah.

Yeah. And then she basically said, we haven't even talked about stuff we talked, you know, that happened in the marriage, Bob. It's our surface. You don't see anything wrong with leaving and not, and not even calling for six months. And then joking about taking off my seatbelt

and pressing on the brakes and trying to make me go on the straight, that is a beast, Bob. That is mental abuse. And to make a joke about it, he's like, I'm taking responsibility for things I don't remember that you're saying now. Whatever I did the Holocaust, I did World War II.

I did Viedemann. I'm like, no Bob, you like did real tangible things. Yeah, you can really say, I'm sorry for choking you. Now, I don't remember what you were real housewife of Beverly Hills. Yeah, I mean sorry for choking you. Not, I don't remember. What do you or real housewife of Beverly Hills? Yeah, I mean, hearing a Shurray Shudder, it was actually really, that was a really emotional moment on the show because she, I got the sense that this is stuff

she does not let out often, maybe not even to herself. And she just starts talking about how, yeah, like he, he just up and left her in the family for six months. And I was apparently was like really traumatizing for her, which I would understand because, you know, you have a husband, a partner, a crime, a lover, and then almost just disappears and left her in the family for six months. And I was apparently was like really traumatizing for her, which I would understand because you know, you have a husband, a partner, a crime, a lover, and then almost just disappears and bad into you and you don't know what you're gonna do with yourself.

And then he cut off the credit cards, he wasn't paying mortgage, so that's scary and that's what she had to live through. And then Bob's like, well, what am I supposed to do? Like in order to like, how am I supposed to make it better? And she's like, well, you're a grown-ass man, like figure it out and he goes, what the fuck? Like, no, Bob, you don't get to say what the fuck.

Yeah, he gives the flash of Bob anger. And everyone up top on the boat is looking back like, yeah, and Sheree. And I was so proud of Sheree because she was like, I want you to have some remorse about what the fuck you did. And that's what I want you to have. I was like, yes, Sheree, yes. And he's like, I am remorseful. I regret it every day. And then up top on the boat, Todd hot Todd is laughing. And he's like, oh, Bob is hilarious isn't he? And he's like, you know,

I think they're still in love. They're laughing and having fun. And meanwhile, we cut back and Bob's like holding Siree's wrist really tightly. I'm like, this is kind of scary. I don't really like to see. And he's like, there's no woman who affects me like you. And then she really started crying. And she's like, yeah, it was the kids too. I these kids.

And then and she's just sobbing. And it was really. It was intense. It was sad. It was like, it was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she's like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she's like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was like, she was of like real vulnerability for Shire and we actually don't see that as much as we think because as evidenced by the fact that this was such a shocking moment, you know, compared to like all the times that we see Kenya have a crime moment which talks about her mom or this or that, which I don't take that away because I do think that Kenya went through

a trauma with her mom for sure. But yeah, this was a crazy and then Shire was talking about how, you know, what she was, and through her sob, she's saying one of the reasons why she wanted to build her chateau, which by the way, sort of made me laugh as she's still referred to it as the chateau during this very intense scene. And she was building the chateau because she basically wants to prove to her kids that they don't have to depend on a man for this sort of stuff, which is very remote and a singer, okay? And then, but eventually, ultimately, you know what you have to do? You do have to pay the man that you're depending on to build it, Shurei. But ultimately though, at sort of at the height

of all this crime, you just keep saying, you left, you left, which was really like this kind of heart-wrenching vulnerability. It was, that was to me like the climax of this moment and it was really, really sad to see that hurt, just laid out there, just in its simplest form. You left me, you just, you ban and me, you broke my heart, you did everything, you just left me. And her furthest head over and over and over again was really like a refreshing change for

a show that normally, you know, traffic and sex dungeons and lesbian rumors. Yeah, he's like, I'm hungry. Okay. Glad you paid attention. So a dinner. Shere says she finally's gotten closure. So we'll see about that. Well, actually, Shere finally got closure. Which I don't know if it's the same thing or not. I almost, well, almost actually meant that her, they, the ador, she did get attacked her door,

had been installed on the shadow. So. So they go have dinner and can you just basically, nothing really happened. Can you say, you're in a good mood now. Great. So ladies later, I have a surprise. And then they all make Cynthia kiss Peter.

And then Cynthia's here gets Cynthia's here gets caught in her iPhone van, which was kind of funny, typical Cynthia. So now divorce party. And you know, I, people weren't really into this. And I don't really blame them because, yeah. Of course, Kenya is going to celebrate the most miserable time of your life. Like, that's so Kenya. I'm going to have a party to rub their face in their divorce.

Yeah, it was a misguided celebration. I think it's one thing to throw yourself a divorce party like Sherated, where she wanted to have a helicopter and a poet but To throw it for someone else as a surprise That's you're playing with fire with that you just don't know how people someone's gonna react You don't know what emotions state they're gonna be in and I love it. I love the flashback of Sarays that was so good. I love that Saray had her own red carpet where she paid people to interview her

She's like I feel great This is the most her. She's like, I feel great. This is the most amazing time in my life. I feel wonderful. Oh my. Well, great. That was when Jare was the villain of the show and she was just the most miserable person. But I love it when, so Candy's just a first. I love when the door opens.

She's just like this because, she just looks like, she's like, Oh, come on. See? Now, the most part of... Ah, no. Awesome. Did you guys know Aloha is hello and goodbye, twirl. Shut up, Kenya. Jesus. And it was also awkward because the space was like,

a rented out party room with the Marriott. It's like this humongous space used for like conferences. For like a pizza party for at a family reunion. Yes. And there's just like this little tiny cake in the middle. It's all fluorescent light lit. Yeah, it was, this is, yeah, it was just, I think people were probably more offended by the fact that if there was going to be a divorce party, that it was so poorly put together. Yeah, she's like, it was all free. Aloha.

So Kenya is all excited about this cake she had made that has a chain that you get to cut. And ever she's trying to get everyone on board. And then Cynthia arrives and she's like, oh, I don't want a divorce party. And then she starts appearing up and crying. Well, it just reminds her that, you know, she was just boning Peter probably 10 minutes ago

and she feels like a slut. Like, oh, damn, that's right, I am getting divorced from him. Yeah. That she is one, not that she is one. No, yeah. And then it switches to the guys and they're, you know, typical. They're like, so did you Bone Cynthia basically, yeah, I've been done up with over nine months and Bob and Todd's like Hot Todd, I should say and

regular topic Now there's some adult restraint It's like Bob like everything Bob says is so fucking creepy now. Yeah, so then upstairs, Portia and Fadre show up and Fadre is not happy. She is not about this, she's already feeling sick and she sees this poster that says, I do, I did, I've done, gone, another direction And she is just bitter, not bitter, but she's just very upset and cold and shut down. And she just is not one. You know, Kenya's got all these, all these little games and Fadre does not want to participate at all. Yeah, it's like, but the kiss the, you know, kiss the

dick. It's like pin the tail on the donkey, but you have to close your eyes and find where the dick is. Yeah, it was all like very bashful red party esque, et cetera. Yeah, and they're just like, I put the balls on the man and Cynthia's like, what where did they go? Where did the balls go? Really, really Cynthia? You don't know where the balls go. She's like, in his butt. It's like, uh, the haters actually very lucky to be getting my outline here. Fadera though, so while they're like doing the kiss the penis game, which is sort of like pin the tail of the donkey, but not quite. Um, Fadera sitting there and she's like, I do not like that the women are making, are

mocking the sacrament of marriage. And now normally if someone said that, I can understand that, if someone going through divorce saying that, but from Fadera Fadre, you were talking to Chocolate. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I get what she was pissed about. And I even get what she was saying with Kenya. And online, I was reading a lot of the comments today. And people are really pissed at Fadre

because they're like, well, Kenya was making an effort and she should all over it. But it is pretty, well, I guess we'll get there in a couple of seconds. So I'll wait. So basically, blah, blah, blah, or should missus the penis. By the way, she's trying to kiss this penis. And she totally misses because she's blindfolded. And she was like, stop playing. You know, you know, you know, you're a penis girl. You know, my business girl. That penis got a baseball.

You make money from African billionaires. Find that penis girl. Yeah. So they're all talking. They're like, well, I don't know. Is Fadre upset. She went out for a ginger ale and never came back. Do you think she's mad and poor?

She's like, you guys were right. Blink, blink. She's upset. Let me read her text. I'm good, but a Paul that they would think a breakup of a family would be cause for party and the triflin woman who texted my husband is disgusting and shameful. And that didn't that happen in Hawaii. Where were they? The texting thing. You mean that double saga? That first season where Kenya came on and was flirting with Apollo.

They may have been in a while. Maybe they were in like somewhere tropical. Antigua, or like, I don't know, it was hard to. It wasn't Antigua. It was a place that they went to also in real houses in Miami. Yeah, so I go to this place. Anyway, it's like a tropical thing. It's kind of the same thing as Hawaii, basically,

the vacation aspect of it. And that was pretty harsh what Kenya was doing, because she hated Porsche. I mean, she hated Fadre, and she was going to her hard flirting with Apollo on purpose and trying to get her mad. And I don't necessarily know how to feel about Fadre, because I don't know how much of what she says is true

and what's a lie. I mean, I really like her on the show, but I can see why that would be awkward. It's like last time we were in this thing, I was married and you were flirting with my husband. And then it turned into this text thing with my husband and this weird lie thing. And that was part of the downfall of her marriage, you know. So I get why she would be annoyed. I get that, but I also felt like they're carrying on, like they've got a new budding friendship. And you know, I think that Kenya did something that was stupid.

I don't think it was malicious. I think it was just maybe thoughtless, it was insensitive. And I think, I think Fadre, she could have just said been like you know what this is defending me I'm not into it whatever and then that would have been it But you know she said she's a trifling and she brings back the stuff that was we thought was like long dead and gone and done I mean Paul is in prison for crying out loud He has a new fiance for double crying out loud and he's shady as fuck and so this whole and he's confessed to the texting thing or whatever and that whole saga is done and Fager brought it back

and she didn't bring it back as like a reference to well she brought it back in a grudge way not as a reference to the past way and I think that Fager's reaction admittedly it probably she is probably very sensitive about everything right now and she is gassy, but that being said, I think that she went low real quick. And I think this one's a little bit on her. Yeah, I guess I could see that. I just think she probably felt like Kenya was doing that to be a bitch to her. I think she was probably thinking like here

I am we just made up and became friends and now she's having a divorce party when she was doing all that shit with my husband And then then but then we have a flashback of when Kenya confronted him and said all those things you said about me That was a lie and you need to admit it and he's like okay. I'm sorry. I said I was sorry Everything was a lie everything was a lie and just kind of repeated what she was telling him to say. And then another flashback of Fadre saying, your slay is clean with me, Kenya. And from here on out, I won't call you a whore. Which in her defense she didn't.

She just called her trying to win. Yeah. But still it was that she started this name calling, you know? And, you know, and You know, I just I can see why maybe she would think that Kenny would do would would be doing that however That seems like more of a reasonable response from if it were last year or two years ago But if you have a new friendship with someone, you know, you have to give them a benefit of the doubt And if you can't get get in the bed with the doubt, then you can't be prating on like they're your best friend, they're new, you know, new best friend. So sorry, Pedro.

It was just going to be using how it happened. Because they were just playing tennis and having fun. Um, but again, it is kind of like, let's not forget, you know, can you act like she's so nice and she's just changed woman. But it's also being positive, but it's Kenya still. But it's also still Fadra acting like she's over something. I think she's fine. So I mean, it's like, you know, it's a bad, it's a bad mix, which is, by the way, this is just one tam, like Tamarangruch and becoming friends for a season. You know, it wasn't going to last.

So it's fine. It's fine. They're not meant to mix. Yeah. It's just like ammonia and and bleach. Don't do it. Oh, God. Well, that'll kill that, that'll kill a bleach. Don't do it. Oh, God. Well, that'll kill a person.

Just smiling at that. I'm so old-ass. I mean, a phadre and Kenya got together much longer. I mean, we'd all be dead. Yeah. The world would explode. So, Porsche and Phadre, now, one thing I just love about Phadre is she's so consistent.

She's like, I said, I was sick, so I shall burp for the camera. And also when she's, also when she's mad at people, she sips things out of a straw really slowly. So she's like sipping and burping slowly in full makeup, of course, you know. Porsche comes by and she's like, Girl, if you were gonna leave, you couldn't give me a wink or something.

Here's me with the hell. You left me in that room kissing dick on a wall. And she's like do they understand the institution of marriage? Like, I think why Fadre is really mad, why theory is is that she hasn't told anybody that she's officially divorced yet because she hasn't told Apollo yet. And she knows now that they are going to be telling Apollo because those are Apollo's friends she's hanging out with, not her friends. True.

You know, just ridiculous in and of itself. Yeah. So anyway, um, so they're, yeah, they're, so they're just sitting on the bed and they're just, now they're just being like, they're just laughing and being shady, which is always hilarious. Talking about how Kenny can get with Apollo now. And then so Portia now has a plan to, she's called Room Service to order some pineapple juice. So that way she can mix it with her booze. And I love this the doorbell of rings because Kenya has come over and Portia goes, ooh, Dr. Panna, but she just turned up. Yeah. She, she also said,

did you, you didn't tell anybody else you finalized it? And she's like, no, and I don't plan to. And then Porsche goes right to the girls. She's like, guess what? It was hard for her because she just got the force last week. Oh geez. That's actually important. That's an important part.

Yeah, that was the entire episode was Fadera saying she can only tell things to Portia because, you know, she, you know, she doesn't trust anyone else. And what does Portia do? She basically, she speaks out loud the text message. And she also basically spills out all the beans about the divorce. Huck in Portia. So can you show us? Yeah, I'm sure now mode yeah, and Kenya's wearing a yellow dress up

Porsche goes oh I thought it was gonna be pineapple just but just a pineapple and the page was like they brought a pineapple No, it's Kenya Like I love all the injury around this pineapple situation It's just Kenya, but she is real prickly. You might get a loop of girl. Some people are mad. You should be careful. Don't make Jell-O with Kenya.

Bye now. So she leaves. Because Kenya is like, may I please speak with Pedro alone, Porsche? I love this. I love Kenya's act. I'm really loving it. Because I always buy it when a housewife is like,

oh, I've really changed. I'm a totally different person now. Remember that time I tried to ruin your marriage? That was totally different. So they start talking and, you know, Fadera is annoyed at Kenya, et cetera. And the first thing that I wrote down was Kenya with her classic compassionate way goes, well, just so you know, you both chose to be divorced. I was like, this is not going to go well. Yeah, but she's saying in that Kenya,

like I'm nice Kenya for you. She's like, you chose to divorce a low heart. Like shut up, Kenya. So I actually believe that when Kenya went over there, she was not going over there to pick a fight. I think she, I think actually Kenya understood. I know this is crazy, taking Kenya side on this. But I think she actually understood that.

Fadre was feeling some sort of way. I was trying to, was, I think she had all intentions of just to smooth things over, but with Kenya, you have like a small window and once that window closes, then she starts popping off a little bit and she says something like that. You chose to be divorced and it's, you say something like that, it can rub, it rubs people the wrong way and then all bets are off. Especially because it was an answer to Fader said, I don't want to celebrate my children losing

their father. She's like, well, you did both choose to be the forest. It's like, oh, geez. So, uh, that's right. God. So then Ken, you're like, you know, you said you were in the best place ever. So I didn't think blah, blah, blah. And Fadre's like, yes, but in my marriage, you had a contentious part of her breakup. She's like, that text was disgusting. You called me trifling.

That was a name. And she's like, well, that was trifling. What you did. She's like, do you blame me for your divorce? And she says no. And she's like, then why text me? And Fadre tells us she continually flirted with my husband. And no wonder she's celebrating.

It's a whole nother level of skanky for Kenyamo. And Kenyans like, don't try and deify me. Deify, deify. Deify. Don't deify me. Don't worship or guard or treat me as a god. But you know, Kenya was right too. And she was like, you know, you're the one, like last night trying to do a restoration

service and trying to, you know, bring everyone together and kumbaya. And now you're turning on the one person who's trying to put something nice together. I mean, it was a shitty, I get it. It was a shitty room. And there's only five people there and the cake looks shitty. And, you know, Chris from, from the bar is the guy arranging everything. I understand. It's a shitty party. But however, great theme Aloha, it works on two different levels. Hello, and goodbye. So I mean, what the deal? Yes, well, even God kicked out his children when they traveled with that snake When Eve started texting back and forth with that snake

Even God got mad. I fun. Oh Maybe if she didn't have pineapple and seven apple things would be better Um, so then Abby Cohen comes on screen. He's like, yeah, God, you're not going to believe this. Her name is Kenya. And she likes a penia coming on live. Cut. I was like, wow, this still wants to know the Andy can't get those things in ever. He's never, he's after all these years, he still can't do it in his like a lot of five seconds That's actually very true. Okay, then two diet commercials came on one was for this new diet pill And it's like did you know that two parts of your brain can make it hard to lose weight the hunger center and the reward system

And it's like some fat lady turning down an order of it a party like oh well Okay, so then the next and of course it may increase suicide actions whatever that means and then next up is a Jenny Craig ad And I was like why do they all have to advertise on the show with the biggest butts? That's not fair. It's like not it's not fair commercial planning. Yeah, I Feel you Ronnie. I feel you and that's it. I stopped taking notes and left my house Me too the only thing I wrote down was that the guys eventually showed up was like great and they're wasted Todd came stumbling in like he was Can barely even see what was going on and I thought the only way to make this party even better I Actually, there's no there's no there's no there actually is no other way to make it. That's just, just

terrible. And, um, candy says, yeah, well, this is when Porsche is like, well, you guys, the interest is just upset because it literally just happened a week ago when she divorced and signed the papers and this and that. And candy's like, she didn't share that with anyone else. She didn't tell it's like, well, she didn't say it was final. Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. Can I please speak with Apollo? Like calling the hell.

Oh, I didn't see that part. Did he? No, no, he didn't. I was like, wait a second. It was late at night. I was like, at that point, I was like, chewed it in the morning. I was loopy. I was like, that happened.

No, but I feel like he wrote him like a hand, a handwritten letter and sent it to jail. Like, she did it. The eagle has landed. So let's say, the eagle has landed. Yeah, so that was the end, right? Yeah, and then everybody was like, Yeah, this was such a fun trip.

Like, this is the most depressing trip anybody's ever been on. Thanks, guys. Yeah, everybody was like, yay, this was such a fun trip. Like this is the most depressing trip anybody's ever been on. Thanks guys. Yeah, exactly. And that was basically it. So next week, we're back to the home base in Atlanta where more shenanigans will happen. Fun times. That's it.

I'm happy. All right, let's go cry. I'm going to go cry. Good for you. I'm a lot of abuse and friendships breaking up. And that yeah, yeah, and everyone. Thanks for listening. And a really silly cake. Really shitty cake and bad poster. Yeah, you guys into low, huh? Okay.

A low. Oh, we're starting a new episode. Oh, we're ending an episode. Got it. Twirl. Got it. Twirl. by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.