Watch What Crappens - #420 RHOA: Matt On A Hot Tin Roof

Episode Date: March 28, 2017

The saga of Matt and Kenya continues on RHOA, and we're here to break it all down. We go through all the sordid detail of the latest Real Housewives of Atlanta episode -- from the Cargo fashion show to Phaedra's newest not-client. Shadiness ensues. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode is sponsored by our premier Patreon subscribers Madonna Hines with a sexy J. Chrissy D'Arty and Mia Hanson Aloha. Thanks. What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens?

What happens? What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens when there's so much that crap ends? to talk to other crap and listeners about the shows as they air come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap in and to follow us on social media go to watch a crap and dot

com to find all our social media links and for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon dot com slash watch what crap in that's of and the Bantle Blender podcast, and joining me, as always, is the lovely and charming and lovely again, Ronnie Caram from FreshTalkTV.com and the Rosefrix Bachelor podcast and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, audiobooks. What's up? Oh, hello, Bing! And I'll take a double-lovely any day of the week, babe.

You are a double-lovely. That's what you are, a double-lovely. What's going on? Well, you know, we are pushing to the end of a long day because we spent the earlier part of today trekking out to Woodland Hills to do Heather McDonald's podcast, which was super fun. But by God, driving out to the valley and coming back, really took out All that day. Yeah, I'm like you Yeah, we that's a full day and last night we went out with

Lisa Rina and our friend Monique for Monique's birthday, which was also really fun But that's like another bravo thing. Yeah, it felt like a podcast last night But last night felt like a three-hour podcast, which was super fun, but it was like, when I was over, I was like, oh, wow, I was in a podcast mode, I feel like. Yeah, because, you know, what are you gonna talk about? Like housewives, of course. Yeah, so we talked last night,

we talked about housewives for like three hours straight, maybe even no longer, it was four hours straight, and then I had like a 10 minutes when I talked about League of Legends and World of Warcraft with my Uber driver. And then woke up this morning, we drove out to Woodland Hills, and it was like more Bravo gossip.

We drove back. We recorded our bonus episode, our Patreon bonus episode. We recorded it in the car, or driving back in traffic. Just to be efficient. Yeah, so we talked about the Lisa Rinna stuff and some Heather McDonnell stuff. Yeah, and so that was fine. We also narrated the various sights and sounds of the San Fernando Valley as we drove through them. And I complained about the prices at the Polo Lounge.

That's going to be a funny bonus episode. I'll be up tomorrow. And so now we basically parted ways 45 minutes ago. And we're basically both, I took a cat nap and I'm basically just barely coming back up to speed right now But if anything can wake me up. It's real house was of Atlanta. Good Lord this crazy ass show I'm actually on our Facebook page right now scrolling down because I know a bunch of people posted the story about Real Housewives of all it I mean Atlanta this week and we need to talk about it. What story is that?

Lord the one about Matt choking out Peter. Oh, Peter finally, Matt does something productive with his life. Exactly. Like that guy's finally fucking useless. He also did another useful thing in this episode where he was like, uh, Roy Dredge crying. What do you call that? Like Roy Tears? I mean, it doesn't have the same like, Jenna Sayquil as road rage, but I'll take it. Roy Tears. Roy Deertion's, it doesn't have the same like Genesequat as road rage, but I'll take it right for your tears for you as having right motions. I don't know Yeah, I guess that could be like rage too in a different way anyway

he Scrant without even touching his his big bald head because you know, I love a big bald head because I have one like I'm obsessed with other people's and bald head because I have one. Like I'm obsessed with other people's. And without even putting his hand on his head, all of his head skin scrunched up and to be like little dimple marks. And I was like, that is such a good trick. I mean, that's like, it's like one of the X-Men

whose power like doesn't really get them anything, but I was impressed. He's just a useless mutant. That's what he is. I like, oh, sorry, you're not welcome into this academy in Westchester. You can just be a mutant in real life. That's it. You know, I've scrolled and scrolled on Facebook. And finally, I just put Matt Peter, R-H-O-A,

and there you go. That's all I needed to do. Well, I did see Peter's response on Instagram. It was this ridiculous video. Well, I guess you tell the first part, and then I'll tell about what Peter's response on Instagram. It was this ridiculous video. Well, I guess you tell the first part and then I'll tell about what Peter's response was. Um, this is from TMZ Real housewives of Atlanta stars Peter Thomas and Matt Jordan through everything that wasn't nailed down during a radio interview that looked more like UFC 210 down during a radio interview that looked more like UFC 210. They just like each other intensely. So it seems the interview was destined for disaster and they did not disappoint. Matt threw a water bottle at Peter and then charged him with told they locked up and Peter scored a take down because station staff broke it up. It was so bad cops were

called and took a salt report from Peter against Matt. Here's the bad news. The interview was not live and it looks like the station isn't going to air it. Well, that's a way. Yeah. What's the reassertion is that supposedly they got in a fight over how much they get paid because we love to read some at Instagram posts because they're all spelled completely crazily. And they talk, I mean, he has Royde typing too, like Royde

Rage typing. Yeah. They're saying PTSD. Royde Royde typing. It's like the worst kind of typing. And PTSD, like PTSD, PTSD, PTSD, PTSD, post-canny Kenya stress disorder and

And so he writes those all crazy anyway, we learned that he's always talking about how much money he makes or like She's just you know, I'm just there for the cash or whatever he says all this stuff and apparently they were talking about that and Peter Let loose that the men on the show don't get paid technically, but their women usually give them about 10% as their payment for the show. And then it turned into some fight about money. I don't know, but I don't care what it was about, but I sure do miss seeing Peter get choked. I'm sad that we see Peter then went on Instagram. I was like, oh, I got a story. I got a story for everyone. Yeah, I got a, I mean, tell you something very cool. can't wait just can't wait to tell you all about what happened. You know, it's a doozy You know, I don't good. I was like shut up Peter. I don't really care about happened. Oh, this is a doozy

Denning you now Pittsburgh I'm shut up Peter. I mean Matt is a psychotic mess. He is truly out of his mind psychotic mess. He is truly out of his mind. But Peter is just annoying. So I and also Peter aren't you the one telling us we shouldn't be listening to anything on Instagram because that's where you've been caught like, you know, choked kissing girls. And also wasn't he choked kissing a girl like he was holding her on the neck and kissing her or something on Insta. You know, there's a lot around Peter. There's a lot of chokings surrounding Peter. You know, Peter, your divorce from Cynthia,

it's time for you to move on and out of the Real Housewives of Atlanta franchise. We just can't choke him out. Yeah. He just won't die. No. I don't want you to die. We don't want to die.

Yeah, no. So this episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta starts in the Bailey, Bailey World. We see sweet beautiful Noel practicing for the cargo fashion show, which you know, why Cynthia still keeps insisting that there's any sort of fashion seen in Atlanta that makes it makes a difference on a, on like a major level. I know that sounds snobby, but I mean, let's be honest, it's I mean, look, we I mean, LA doesn't have one either. Okay. We're not I'm not I'm not thinking like I'm in a fashion capital. LA. If it was in LA and like, oh, we're going to put on a fashion show in LA. I'd be like, well, that's a joke. LA doesn't have it. But Atlanta definitely

doesn't have it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't care what city we're talking about. Any city in America is now the old Navy capital of the world as far as I'm concerned. Yeah. Unless it's New York, what I think it's like New York, Paris, London, maybe, Milan, Tokyo, something like that. I have a cousin who lived in Dallas and she was like, Dallas is like a fashion capital. Just because that was, just because the girl who won

Project Runway season two, you know, is's from Dallas does not make it a fashion capital I mean, they are the originator of the shit hat Real housewives of Dallas, so I'll give them that. Yes, but I'll give them that I saw that surely not the last One bitchy today. Sorry everyone someone tweeted at me saying that I was too bitchy on Friday, so Well, we just meet. Or I'm like, oh, welcome to the podcast. Um, so, uh, so anyway, so the practicing for the cargo fashion show,

because cargo isn't going to be doing not just sunglasses, it's bags. And, um, incomes, hot Cairo and charade, which is always a welcome site. And, uh, this is assistant cowirei, which is always a welcome sight. And, uh, this assistant, Cal, um, Cynthia's assistant, I think they're setting him up to be a new Shady Queen of Atlanta. Yeah. Because he, he has a little shade later with Shirei. Um, you are barking up the wrong treaser.

I would not suggest doing that. Yeah. Um, and also just these grown women trying to teach her children how to walk walk always cracks me up. I know they're talking about model walking specifically, but poor Cairo. Oh my God, he comes in and cows like, so have you ever done a show? Which he already knows the answer? He's a bitch. And Cairo's like, well, you know, done a couple of shoots, you know, I've been naked in my mom's living room a couple of times. My mom's adjusted my dick a couple times. But he's like, when I say I've done a few shoots, I've been naked in my mom's living room a couple of times. My mom suggested my dick a couple times. But when I say I've done a few shoots, I've literally just shot my bottom. I chest on Snapchat.

By the way, you're giving him way too much credit for being that energetic. Because I'm like, yeah, I've done it. Yeah, he really does. I mean, well, it's Bob's side. Yeah, seriously. So poor Cairo can't even walk. I mean, we've seen people on America's next top model,

struggle to walk, but Cairo, he's like, he takes like one step, he's like, wait, wait, let me start over. Yeah, he's like, I gotta get it, I gotta get it together mentally. Like, I gotta get myself ready. I'm like, to walk. And then I saw him walk and I started laughing. So it's like a pigeon toad shy half skip. I mean, it's amazing. I've never seen a walk like that and it really makes me see

why Cynthia has a successful business as someone who teaches people on the walk because people literally do not know how to walk. Don't they know he's just supposed to act like he's going to get food. Act like you're act like you're walking to get food, baby. So so Cairo works on his walk a little bit. Their conversation is going to be a conversation. And Cynthia's like, no, well, but he does get to carry a backpack and not every model gets to carry a backpack.

And she goes, I don't care about every other model. I care about this one. Now one backpack backpack only one. Let's load your pigeon toad sun up with 10 giant diaper bags that he's going to barely make it down the runway with. I mean, come on, lady. And then Shreya wants to know if there's going to be a lot of press at the cargo event. I'm like, well, I think the penny savior will be there. I think women's wear daily will be there, but it's not women's wear W-E-A-R. It's like, women's wear daily.

Like they're women here? Daily. When a pipe breaks and drowns half your guests, maybe you'll be on the news. You're the scientist bags I've ever seen in my life. I'm a scientist. Yeah, I told you I'm stupid today. What did I say today in the car? I literally there is some really really bad language and also it's karma because I'm making fun of

math so I'm going to say things like giantist. Yeah, why not? So Cairo and Noelle start kind of exchanging really soft spoken numbers. I mean most awkward couple in Atlanta these two I don't think there's a single child in Atlanta that can speak up like three dust balls I really they all they just all speak like this. I think they've just been shell shocked by their crazy mothers They make mouth sound like Alex Jones Hey, I know You want to get my phone number. Yeah, I want to get your phone number. Okay. Here's my phone. Okay, here's my phone, too Oh my god, I'm lining it up you two

Responsibility of carrying giant diaper bags now concentrate. Oh, here comes Riley Hyper bags now concentrate. Oh, here comes Riley. Hi, here's my sister Kayla. Hi, Hi, hi. Oh, yeah, I'm everyone's Hayler and Riley met. They're like, hi, hi, hi. It's like soft spoken teenagers and all the planet. You're a good sister. You're a good sister too. Oh, mouse here to take us to lunch. Hi guys. Hi, man. Hi guys, I brought them in here. And Cairo, you watch the shotgun. OK. No, I'll just walk. No, don't walk.

No, walk. No, walk. Let's pull this act off as long as we can. Sure. It means baseboards. All those sweet children. So then the next scene, we see Portia on the phone with Fadra and she's like, attorney, Portia Williams, I guess service.

Attorney, Portia Williams, object, scene. Oh, please Portia. Yeah, that is not someone who you want representing you on death row. What do you like, maps? No. So yeah, she's calling about a baby nap. And the fadres is like, oh, you're really still planning to do the baby nap, huh?

Fancy fadres is like, you just like, you really just don't need a baby, you know? Like, hot dog bun vagina giants are not always in style. And then porcelain responses. But you said camel toes were untrained. She's like, they won't even see a camel toe because you'll be so fat. She's like, what?

Like, she's not being supportive at all. I like that she said, you need a baby. Like, you need a hold in your head. I mean, a hole in Porsche's head would actually help. I think that's what some of the error out for Christ's sake before it pops. We need to see what's going on in there. I've just read in the news, Elon Musk is gonna turn

computers into brains, like he's trying to map brains to like make computer brains. Please do Porsche first. Yeah, start with Porsche You can get like a simple tip calculator I'm too I'm too blessed to be stressed and too sexy to be thirsty. Oh, that's something funny that happened last night with Renate because Monique really likes Atlanta and it was her birthday. You know, it's our other friend. So we were talking to Monique Monique really likes Atlanta and it was her birthday, you know, it's our other friend. So we were talking to Monique. We were laughing about Portia because we had just both watched Atlanta and she's like,

I cannot help but love Portia. And Renna is like, I love Portia, baby. I'm like, yeah. And she goes, what's your tag line? And I did it. I'm too blessed to be stressed and too sick to be thirsty girl. And Renna was just kind of looking at us weird. And then we started talking about the story lines

and the baby not the baby. Lisa Rinna's face. I mean, she really did have that look like, how did I forget all this? This really happened. She was really trying to remember when any of this happened in her season. She's like, I did watch the episodes.

And then she goes, well, I thought was a great scene with Portia was when she was doing the makeup with Kyle and we're like, I did watch the episodes. And then she goes, well, I thought was a great scene with Portia was when she was doing the makeup with Kyle and we're like, huh? And then it was like a moment where we all realized we were talking about two different Portia's. She's like, Oh, I thought you're talking about Portia. Kyle's Portia. We're like, no, we're talking about Portia Williams. Like you're really taking this no memory thing the little too far. We can vouch for it, I mean.

Like you could tell Rinna, she was on real housewives with Atlanta, and she'd believe it. It's like Rinna, remember when you hired that lawyer to help that guy sue your enemy? She's like, oh, I guilty, guilty baby. It's like you're not on real housewives with Atlanta.

She's like, I just don't remember when Porsche, a little Porsche, was married to a football player. She's only eight years old. Who is, who's gonna check me, boo? Ha ha ha ha. I mean, I may be a hustler, but a nine-year-old girl marrying us,

football player, that's a real hustle, baby. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, she was very confused. It was hilarious. She's like, what? Porsche, a little Porsche has a baby nap. It was like a full seven minutes that we had been talking about all the scenes and how Porsche was like, you want some of this chocolate?

Gonna was like, what the fuck have I missed on my own show? Well, it was just funny because then when Rina finally piled in, she was just like, and then that time when Porsche was putting on the makeup and Kyle was just watching her and then we're like, I don't know what you're watching. He's Kyle. In my mind, I was like, Kyle, Kyle on Atlantic Kyle. I feel like I'd remember a Kyle. So funny.

So anyway, Portia is saying she's a lawyer because she's making this baby not where she's making a contract because she wants to get knocked up by Todd, but she's not sure if she wants to get married or whatever. And they just like, honey, I don't want you to have a baby daddy. That's so over. Look, that was the fashion before. Yeah. People were just doing that because it was on trend, you know? Yeah.

Like camel toes. Um, but you know, as we do know, Atlanta is the fashion capital of the Southeast and trends come and go. Yeah, it used to be the Camelto Center of the universe, but you know, that trend is gone now. So I like that. Fadre at one point, she just got sick and tired of listening to Porsche. So she just turns up the TV really loudly and goes, I can't hear it. It's so loud in here. Fadre and Porsche, I mean, Fadre turned up the TV and Porsche is like, oh, you turned up the TV, I can't hear, it's so loud in here. And Portia, I mean, Pedro, I could turn up the TV and Portia's like, oh, you turned up the TV on me.

And she's like, I can't hear, and then just hangs up. So Kenya, Kenya is she's at home with her little, you know, her little purse dogs. And she's like, hey, dogs, give me, give me 10. And she holds up her hands and she's like hey dogs give me give me tin And she holds up her hands and her dogs know how to give her five. I'm like that's really great How about you teach them to go shed outside? Yeah, why don't we start there? How about pee on the grass before you learn the like give me five move Stupid dog owner or how about maybe teach math a few tricks

Well, maybe she taught him the multiple dimples on the head without touching it. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We're all over. That's what happened. So, Kenya's cousin, Che, comes to visit and Kenya is now playing victim again. She's like, well, Hawaii was tough.

All the girls are blaming me for everything. And everything's my fault. The divorce party's my fault. This is my fault. And I'm not taking the blame for Trump. And I'm my mind. I was like, you know, now that you say it, he probably was so disgusted by you on celebrity apprentice.

He was like, you know what? Time to fix this country and decide to run for office. Yeah, it really is like literally is your fault. And he's also your fault because when he was saying that you're the worst person on the earth, he's like, you're the worst person I've ever met. That made America root for him like no other time in history. Yeah, that was Donald Trump's most sympathetic moment, Kenya. I do know. Yeah, I wasn't. I was like, Donald Trump can't be all that. I mean, he said,

Kenya is the worst person in the world. He's got to have some pulse on this. He must have some standards. I mean, I don't know. He's got to have some pulse on this. He must have some standards. I mean, I don't know. He's been saying a lot of crazy things, but he's pretty on the mark with Kenya. So, okay, I guess my as well, but for him. Oh, I also like that her cousin when she came over, she's like, you don't got a doorbell? And I was like, oh no, Shere. You know, Shere is sitting at home with like a little big pen writing shit like that down. So she can go to the reunion and be like, you don't even have a doorbell and I was like, oh no, Sirei. You know, Sirei is sitting at home with like a little big pen writing shit like that

down so she can go to the reunion and be like, you don't even have a doorbell. You don't have to say. Yeah, you know, you don't even have a doorbell, which is crazy because you're a ding dong. You got a ding dong. You got a ding dong? You know, for such a bad host, as I I'm surprised you got so many ding-dongs. So, Shay is just looking at Ken. Yeah, she's laughing at her basically the whole time.

And Ken, you're just trying to have one of her trademark like, I'm a victim. And she's just laughing at her like, girl. And Ken, you're saying, you know, I thought that Fadre and I were good, you know, but she's shady, Fadre and flint. I thought flint. That's not flint fixed everything. So I don't think that phrase has been used.

It's rough to me. I mean, have you seen Roger and me? So then she's, can you just talk about Matt? And she's like, I just wanna be in the same place with Matt that Cynthia's out with Peter. I'm like, well, here's your first problem. Okay, never use Peter as an aspirational example. Yeah, then give him the pin number to your Wells Fargo account.

Wait and see what he does with it for a few years and never fuck. Give him a can of Maxwell House and a lot by a highway and see what he can do with it. Then you'll be with it like Cynthia is with Peter. She's going to have a party for her little baby, her little baby dog, which is his dog, I guess. She's like, well, King's birthday is coming up. So I was thinking of reaching out and her cousin's like, no. And Kenny was like, but we had such a good year, you know, before he abused my garage door and her sister's like, girl, you, you had dick for a year.

That's why it is not addiction. How dare you? Yeah. Um, I liked when Kenya said that like she's like, you know, I did play a role in demise of my relationship with Matt, you know. I just didn't slow down enough and give him enough time and I think that made him feel amasculated. I'm like, you realize you're basically amasculating him right now by announcing to the world that he was like

a needy bitch, right? Not to sound like that. He just needed more attention. That's basically the implication. That's what she's saying. I'm like, okay, like, that's why Kenya works. She is saying something that sounds totally sympathetic, but the underlying message is he was a really, really needy guy and I just need to slow down because he's emotional like a woman.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, when the show gets really dark like every other episode as it does, but like last week, you know, they she had her argument with Fadre after Fadre going off. And of course, everyone has really strong opinions about it and about our opinions about it and stuff. Here's my thing. I don't even I'm not even saying I'm right or wrong on this. I just think you can't really fight in either of their favor because they're so full of it. But for people to pretend that Fadre is more full of foolish than Kenya, I mean, Kenya literally hires guys to come on. Madness had multiple times that he's coming on because he's promised this amount of money and this and that. And

we know now that he's not getting it from the actual show. So she's like paying him to come on the show. And then she's like getting a scene so that she's doing a scene with him today to make herself look more sympathetic and just trying to lie her ass off and he totally calls her out, which we'll get to later. But to be fair, I will not feel for you. And yeah, I will not feel for you. To be fair, Kenya may pay people to come on the show, but I'm sure that Fajr pays people to not come on the show. Okay.

So I think they're both probably paying a lot of people to keep their on-screen images intact, all right? So I think it's a draw. I think it's a full on draw. I just think Kenya's perhaps a little bit more transparent. Yeah. And Fator makes me laugh more. That's true. But Kenya at the same time is kind of like, so terrible

that she's like, she's kind of iconic in her own way. I think I feel a little more pity for Kenya because I feel like she's a mom of the doctor. No, no, no, I totally understand that. I feel pity for her because I feel like her boobs, like I feel like she did this stuff to her boobs, you know, but a lot of people get boobs jobs, so it's not even about that, but she's one of those people who put mountains

on her boobs and it makes me feel bad for her because that cannot be comfortable. It just can't be. And I feel like that's why she's always in a bad mood, it's like her back hurts. That's it. It's like early onset, scoliosis. Yeah.

And so it makes me feel bad for her. Like if I were her friend, I would buy her a bunch of calcium drinks for Christmas. And not even as a bitch. Like just to be a little... Some of that, that Sally Field osteoporosis shit. You got it. She's got this one body. So we then go over to Mama Joyce's house, which is great because I've been missing the

dance and Candy goes over and all, you know, Nora's there and Bertha and they're cooking just this food that looks so so delicious. They're all in new wigs. I mean, they're so cute. And Nora is wearing her Cynthia Bailey's. Did you catch that? Yes, I certainly did. They look good on her. They look good on her.

They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her.

They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. They look good on her. always has that face on to be fair. Always. She's like, I can't believe I've got to shoot

the scene instead of watching Jeopardy. We get paid. So, yeah, Bertha, Bertha and Nora are talking about why they're never, they're like, why don't we ever invite on these group trips? And I like that, that Bertha is the one she's like, we eat those hos alive. Which is true. So Candie's like, well, everybody brought their X's because, you know, the only one in a relationship now is me, like me and Todd and Joyce is like, well, what about Fade, Dr. Has her divorce coming along? Actin like she's trying to be all next. Nice. Candie's like, well, you know, she's trying to pretend that she's working it out, but

Porsche let it be known that she was always divorced. And say, oh, that's that's why she's a boy. You know, then Apollo, let it slip. No, no, that's a shame. Can't be. Of course, I spent most of the scene, honestly, looking at the food and they made like That's a shame. Can't see. Mm-hmm. Of course, I spent most of seeing Asli looking at the food, and they made like trays and platters and like tens of food,

and it was only for four of them. Literally Todd came over and he's like, hey, everybody. And they're like, Todd. And I was like, who was eating all this food? I mean, they had just like chaffers upon chaffers of cornbread and chicken I was like, can I come over? Todd's like, yes, so the restaurant's almost done everybody. Hey, what y'all gonna do with the restaurant?

I'm breath it goes nothing Let's talk about money And Todd's like, well, you know that a restaurant's not gonna turn over any profits for two years and then And Todd's like, well, you know that a restaurant's not going to turn over any profits for two years. And then they're like, and then he's like laughing like it's a joke. But you know that he's like, but seriously, I'm not going to pay you. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on.

Some days, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong.

What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wendry app. He's not going to get away with that with her, but I can birth it. We get in pain.

Yeah, say it's still my favorite moment of the conversation. They drove off and then. Yeah, you just hear her go. We get in pain. We get in pain. So, um, the uh, the, uh, is in some crazy Mrs. Roper, B. Dazzle's robe thing. I don't know what the fuck she's up to. That's so worth not just a big old house with like windows everywhere and like front views.

I feel like the only thing you can do is walk around in the caftan. Yeah, it's like required of B bedazzled caftain. And I don't know why this made me laugh, but there's a workman there like putting in dimmer's on her lights. And she's like, what are you working on now, girl? The dimmer's? Is it a fancy dimmer? Oh, Jesus, dimmer. Just don't make it worse. Yeah. So, Fadre shows up and she's wearing some crazy army green sheer top that I don't make it worse. Yeah. So, Fadre shows up and she's wearing some crazy army green sheer top that I don't even know how to describe it. It has like cutouts. You can see her boobs through it. It's just like it was just like a real skanky top. It's a bathing suit.

And it's one of those bathing suits that's cut above her muffin top. So it's like all creative on the sides and there and these really tight jeans. Yeah, she was she's like, girl, you in a bathing suit. She goes, yeah, girl, how new you lived in this lake. I didn't know if we were going to go on the lake. That makes so much more sense because I was like, the makes so much more sense because I was like, what is this top she's wearing? Because Fadre should go like in one scene she's wearing the pussy bow.

And next scene she's got like some sort of like giant macrame weird thing where their boobs falling out. I just can't. But she's always keeping it biblical, you know? Thankfully for Fadre, there were two Mary's. There's like the mother of Jesus and then the whore best friend. She just vacillates between the two. Yeah, yeah, it works. So, so they like go down stairs,

the seating area, which by the way, Cynthia's house is looking great. I feel like I want to give her props because we made fun of her like the lake has the lake house, but it looks actually beautiful in there. And they go down and there's a couch down there that basically Kenya gave to Cynthia or Cynthia bought off of Kenya because Kenya had an extra couch. Fidget's like, ooh, I hope that Matt doesn't have a tracking device. Pillow is a Kenya's couch. Matt would be dumb enough to put a tracking device in a couch. Yeah, he just shows up. Please, Kenya. Still the well, the couch is still in the living room. He probably came to Cynthia's house and saw all the giant windows and just like passed out and bliss.

Like, I can't wait to knock those all in. I can't wait to meet this expected by that bitch. It's like 20 fits ready to be had with those with those. Yeah, he's got to knock them all down. So they started talking about divorce for us, you know, because Cynthia's just getting gossip really. She's like, well, I just wanted you to have you over to talk about the restoration because, you know, I don't think that was restored girl. You know, the way you were with Kenyan, Fadra's like, you should have

seen what it would have been like without a restoration girl. Now I'm trying to look up another thing because Fadre divorce settlement because this is another thing. Now Fadre is going on about, oh, it's so hard and it is finally finalized and it's nice to have it finalized, but it wasn't turns out that it was not. Let me see. Fadre Park slide about divorce. Fadre Park is divorced, despite claims of Paula Nida blah, blah, blah.

There was some article this week about a judge throwing out her claims because it wasn't fair to Apollo. Damn, and of course I'm looking at this on the air instead of doing it before, but I just thought of it right now. It's a new divorce. Okay. So this is from Love B. Scott, which we read from a lot on this show. So thanks, Love B. So Apollo and Ida is getting for Fator Park's coins now that a judge has given him a fair chance at a divorce settlement. TMZ broke the story. The judge decided the divorce was unfair because he wasn't informed of the final hearing

where the divorce was granted. The judge was also ticked off by Fadre's vindictiveness, intentionally misspelling his name on the docs. So what? Of Fadre, good lord. So now it's back to square one. And Apollo wants to go back on the hunt to determine what property is fair game display.

Property, he says, includes a million dollar marital home, one and Apollo wants to go back on the hunt to determine what property is fair game to split. Property he says includes a million dollar marital home millions of dollars in personal property and several businesses. So there you go. So this is not over. So get ready for another season of prison divorce. Sometimes I question whether or not Vajra is a real lawyer. I just I don't understand.

That sounds pretty legit to me to like get it past a judge by spelling his name wrong on purpose. I mean that is some classic fucking fadera. This guy must have caught the show at some point and been like wait a second. Yeah. Well, Cynthia told Fadera that Porsche told everyone that the divorce is final and Fager's like, she's sure to say a lot of things or whatever it was she said. So yeah, so Cynthia's basically telling Fager, Cynthia says, you know, with that divorce party, no one ever wants to celebrate anything like that, to break up a family, but you did kind of take it back to quote-unquote,

that place. And Fager's like, well, you know, I like how Cynthia says, you know, it's just supposed to be a fun party, you know, where we penis cake, that's all. Yeah, she just wanted to have a party penis. Yeah, penis party. Yeah. And Fajr is of course like, oh, I don't have any if feelings.

I was just offended the makeup of a marriage with those little children involved. I'm like, okay, Vadra. Yeah. So that was pretty much that but Cynthia joked, you know, I have a lake we should have a baptism girl and get that restoration redone or whatever. And she's like, maybe we should have a baptism party and

this lake. Like, okay, a baptism isn't sexy. So stop saying it like that. And B, you will never get charade in that thing. Like if it requires getting into dirty lake water, charade will just go to hell, she don't care. Yeah, this is just a terrible idea. Yeah.

Yeah. So then we go over to Portia's house, where Hatad shows up, yay, Hatad. Hatad, he comes over and she's like, Welcome to Portia's house. You know, everybody has to name their house. Everybody has to name their unpaid forehouse. Yeah, for the palace.

And so he's there. He's like ready to bone and she's like, now, first we're gonna do a baby nap. Sliding into Lisa Nicole. It's that time of the podcast where my Porsche becomes Lisa Nicole. Sorry, everyone. So I like she's like threatening to put on a house coat

so that he stops getting it on her. And then he totally called her out because she's dressed in a little mechalous shade and he's like, now you're just dressed all sexy so I'll do whatever you say. She's like, yeah, now listen up, because it's serious. You can have a vote please, portion.

Yeah, so she starts to give, she has this like baby nap, which is basically like, I can do anything with the baby and you can't do anything. And, and Todd was basically, he was sort of not having it. He, the music was trying to make it sound like he was much angered than he appeared. He looked like he was just sort of being joky mainly because he was smiling through half of his protest. You know, he was, yeah, he does. Yeah, I mean, he does smile a lot in general, but he was smiling through half of his protests. You know, he was like, Yeah, as he does. Yeah, I mean, he does smile a lot in general,

but he was like, you can go off to Afghanistan tomorrow and I can't say anything about it, which is hilarious. I think about Porsche going to Afghanistan. I know. Well, you can tell he loves her because he could have said Africa because that's where she's accused of, you know, like dating the African billionaires

and getting cars and stuff like that. Yeah. So she's like, you're being ass billionaires and getting cars and stuff like that. Yeah. So she's like, you're being asked. Yeah, but those things on that, I mean, first of all, this was a huge copy and paste from legal zoom. And it looks like Porsche went to every other kind of contract in the world. It's like, if you do now for close on this property, man, I'm like, what is this house? What the hell, dude?

She's like, and then I put a lean on your boat. What contract is this? Hello, application. He's like, wait a second. Why is this? Why, what does this have to do with me merging with AT&T? He's like, what, you want to change my name to spectrum? I'm not agreeing to that. Ha, wireless. Are we naming that the baby?

That someone pointed out in the comments on Facebook. For those of you who don't know, go to Facebook and join the show for their hilarious. I was reading through them last night and someone said, this is basically a contract so that Porsche can put the baby on Instagram because there was like a little, there's a huge riff in the housewife worlds with divorced couples because the husbands don't want the kids to be on TV. And so that's like a new thing in contracts. Like I can use my baby in social media.

I can, you know, the film I kid all I want. But basically it was 20 different points and every one of them was no matter what I do or how often you see the baby, you have to pay me 50% of childcare costs, etc. etc. and he's like, this is extortion. Yeah, pretty much. So then it's like the music's all tense and he's like, whatever. And then he leaves and he's like, okay, well, I'll see you later and he's like, smells, the cases are on the cheek and the music's like, dun, dun, dun, dun dun dun dun dun. I'm like listen to editors.

Yeah, well, it's the first time we've ever seen him yell. Because he's like, if you even thought I would do half of this shit, you don't even know me. Okay, my smile, bye. And she goes, I'm baffled. He making, he's making it so negative

when it can be such a beautiful thing. I don't want it being destiny's hands. Look what happened to their child. I miss that. Cause Destiny's child broke up, you know. Yeah, no, I know. Todd is, Todd's like, I'm not signing that shit. It's a good bugaboo.

He's like pay my telephone bill, pay my auto money. Oh, hi. No, no, no, no, no Yes, yes, yes, yes One It's no no no no no again, okay, I'll do wait, what was it? No, no, no, no I No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, cargo fashion show taking place in the ruins of the old bar one establishment. Repeaters spent his days painting crazy psychotic clowns on the walls while

sewage dripped from above. Yes, basically it's an underground dungeon. And Cynthia is saying she's like, all excited. She's like, I want to impress all the Atlanta fashionistas. I'm like, is that that's a thing? Okay. I'm like, I of a sudden, she's like, I want to impress all the Atlanta fashionistas. I'm like, is that, that's a thing? Okay. I'm like, I see Old Baby cargo pants. I think that she said is a cargo party.

And everyone just went out there spring 2015 line from Old Baby. And I was there, you know, it's like, this is a fashion capital. So Cairo is nowhere to be found. And Cynthia calls up Sheree, the momager. And Shere is like, what? Karo, he's been left. I was like, okay.

She's been making it. Sharay's an excuse is the excuse I hate the most. I think especially because we live here. She's like, you should have been there, but you know, the traffic, it's crazy. Well, the traffic is always crazy, Sharay. Yeah. That's not how to raise your send. Don't raise your son with an excuse. Make him leave a half an hour early for Christmas. Yes. Exactly.

He's probably named Stone somewhere. Okay, so there's a commercial break. And they had a Potomac commercial. And I feel like Bravo's Sunday night advertising is so offensive to me. They're like, hashtag shady. That was last year. They're like hashtag shady. That was last year till like it's the night of shade. It's like some white guy like yeah, night of shade. Shady, shady. I'm like, okay, white person. And now they have this thing where they're not saying

shady. Now now they're going once you go Mac, you never go back. Once you go Mac, you never go back. I'm like, please stop ruining my favorite food with this stupid fucking show, Jerts. Oh, it's already hilarious if you think about it, that there's a franchise based on Potomac. Like everything else is a major city. And then Potomac. Mac County, at least, I guess we're calling it the Mac now. The big Mac. So Cairo finally alive Alive's We're doing it today. Hiro right he shows up cow. He's like so what happened, man? Uh you were a little late

We know cow so does he so he said hey sorry. I'm late So he just locks around and they put him in makeup and then she ratios up and she's like, oh, this is underground. I hear sewage upstairs. You got sewage? You got sewage? You know, it's like I hear sewage right above my head. It's like the noise machine I sleep to on my air mattress.

I'm so sure. I like, there's like general like hubbub, you know, fashion show, fashion show, fashion. And then this, his name, Cal, that's his name, the assistant guy. Yeah, Cal. He goes up to Shred and he gives her a kiss and she goes, ooh, that was a wet one. And he goes, she goes, where's the air conditioner? You got an air conditioner? And he's like, that's why we gave you a fan.

So Cairo, a little eight, huh? Little eight. What do you think about that, little eight? And she's like, and he walks away. And then he walks away. And then he walks away. She speaks literally in pigeon. He's like throwing some breadcrumbs at her

so she doesn't yell. So, and he walks away. And then the girls are empty right all in and they're like girl, he tried to come for you. She's like girl, you better watch it. She goes, boy, if you don't get out of my business, not a wrong girl, wrong momager, don't do it. Maybe that's why her kid is pigeon-toed. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh up in. And poor Bob. It's a sweaty Bob with a fan. Oh man.

I mean, he sweats and it like a freezer he'll sweat and then he put him in a hot dungeon. Oh geez. God poor, poor sweaty abusive Bob. Like we're feeling for the wrong person. I know. So Cairo comes out, sure. Liz, he walks and of course the editors cut to Kenya, salivating and linking her lips, which is so hilarious because it was probably a moment from like three hours later. But they, of course, were just like, we're gonna fuck with her. I don't know if this was the right way to do it, so okay, she sends out all these gorgeous

people and there were some really cute, I mean, you know, I love that boy in there. So cute. So really cute young people carrying these enormous bags, I love that boy in there. So cute. So really cute young people carrying these enormous bags. Like they really are diaper bags, but they all look so upset. I was like, these backpacks are just making people sad. Maybe this is the one fashion show

where you should be like, okay, smile everybody. Yeah, you know, it's like, I'm not sure it's the best artistic decision to have a fashion show about book bags in a sex dungeon. It's like what's the message are you saying about learning children in deployments? Are you? Um, and Kenny is like, I love the young edgy models. They are just doing anything to paint Kenya in a bad light.

They're like, we know you're trying to do this whole nice. I've been changed, Kenya, but we will not let you. Okay, you're a child with a luster now. Okay. We'll just stick with that. So then afterwards, Kandy asks, and she's like, say, no, Kenya, you've been talking to the fear to our sins. And Ken, Kenya's like, no, we haven't spoken. And you know, she's basically Kenya's, again, reiterating that this shit is done. They tried to be friends, it didn't work, it's over. Kenya's like, yeah. Uh-uh.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Meanwhile, Saraje's like picking up bread crumbs behind them like, uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. So next we go to Fadra who is with this new lawyer bread crumbs behind them like.

So next we go to Fadra who is with this new lawyer, the King of Employment law. And I was like, I'm like the King of Little Dogs who still sit in the house. There's a lot of King going on today. A lot of King. Oh, my Fadra just because his name is Oscar does not mean that he's like, got the Oscar of employment law. I'm sure he's like got the Oscar of employment law I'm sure he's actually very talented the Oscar myawena the finest actor out of all the hot dogs He has a wonderful car he drives to work It's a hot dog So so yeah,, so, Fadra brings Johnny.

Johnny is Candy's former assistant who was basically ungrateful and Candy fired him and so then he went to Fadra and so Fadra, earlier in the season, they made it seem like, oh gosh, it doesn't get real dirty, but Fadra's like, I don't want to get involved with this mess of the Candy, so I'm just going to come from to a friend. So I sort of thought that was gonna be it but here comes Fadra Bringing Johnny to meet this guy Oscar who's you know a very good employment lawyer and You know I'm like Fadra is so shady because she's trying to act like she doesn't you know Candy's my friend and I don't want to do anything to hurt that

I'm like but you are are just happy to come on camera and advise this young man and help him along. I'm like, it is so, so, so. Yeah, I'm like, get him a really good lawyer that's free. I mean, she's such an asshole. And she even said it in this. She's like, well, I don't want to be involved. Now, does he have a case?

Yes. Damn, Fadre. So this Johnny, okay, fuck you. Let's go fuck this guy. Fuck him, fuck him, fuck you. Let's go fuck this. Fuck him. Fuck him. He's obviously such a fucking liar. He's his eyes are so wide and blinky. I don't believe a damn thing. He says, and you don't get to sue people for saying, oh, you know, I was thinking it would be fun to open a restaurant. And then they open a restaurant. And you sue them and get profits from them. That's not how that works, Johnny, you know?

Guess what? You're not the first person. Yeah, you're not the first person people with the idea of a rat to have a open a restaurant. That's not a new idea. Like, when I came to LA, I met a girl and I was like, you know, it'd be fun to be in a movie and she got cast in a movie. So do I get part of her profits now? No, that's not how life works. You fucking loser. Get a fucking job. But and and and they said, well, we have an oral agreement in a Do I get part of her profits now? No, that's not how life works, you fucking loser. Get a fucking job. But, and then they said, oh, we have an oral agreement in a Ny-Roto proposal, which by the way,

you wrote a proposal, you could just written that after the fact. Second of all, then he says that he came up with the idea for a mother's love. I mean, can you break now? Honestly, give me a break. I know what it takes. So you can't see the whole story

of her abusive asshole mother. Yeah. It's like I came up with the idea of mama joys. No, I came up with the idea of going into time machine and making mama joys crazy. He's like, Hey, speaking of King of lawyers, I came up with the lion King because I'm a lawyer who's the King of the lawyers. I'm like, no, Johnny, Elton John is not cutting you a check. You know, also this is the second time to season. I mean, candy is in trouble again for another oral thing. It's like they won't leave her alone with this, you know, it's like she's

trying to give oral to Fadre or she's giving an oral promise to Johnny. It's like candy. Just stop and stop using your oratory. I'm sorry. Candy has a proven track record of being a creator. You know, she wrote scrubs. She wrote several of the songs we were just quoting just a few minutes ago. I mean that was a good sitcom. What? That was a good sitcom scrubs. Yes, she created the script. I would build Lawrence. No, she did no scrubs. She's even getting credit on this new Ed Sheeran song that everyone loves, but apparently it's a ripoff of no scrubs also. So now Candy and Time, you're getting credit on that. The point is Candy,

you know, she has her bedroom candy, she has shop she's proven entrepreneur. She's she has a track record and so when you come in Literally a Johnny come lately you arrive and then you try to take credit for the most generic idea a restaurant Please oh god, and also now he's gonna try and get some others love money So you know that they owe money on that, right? That was like a huge failure. They fired a bunch of people. So, okay, congratulations. So you can have a piece of that. Now you owe like 100 people salary for two more.

Yeah, congratulations. You just bought some debt. So, Fadre's like, does he have a case? And the lawyer's like, well, he may be onto something. And she's like, Fadre goes, I'm putting my bet money on you. It's like, wait a stay out of it, Fad Pedro. Yeah, wait a proof of your devotion to your friend. Jesus, I find Pedro as hilarious as ever. I will never totally turn on Pedro,

but Pedro, you are such a dick. There is no coming back from this. Yeah, I'm sorry. Candy can pretty much, you know, wrong in my book. And this is just, this is truly shady, truly shady truly true and and you know I mean Kenya's shady because she can mess with a mind of someone like Matt but Pedro shady because she's actually you know tangling with the law and that's really fucked up not good and she's giving a voice to someone like Johnny would a pig yeah okay so next up is Kenya. Kenya and her dog Boateek and the clerks say,

Hi, I'm Ashley. I'm like, please don't tell me you come to work, dress like that to sell chew toys. Okay, she was like an old black cocktail dress. Come on now, Ashley. So Matt has picked some flowers outside. He's obviously stolen them from the front of the building. Yeah, something I do.

Like my fraternity formal when I forgot to get flowers from my date. Yeah. I mean, usually our discs is like those are obviously from Ralph's. But Matt is too fucking cheap to even go to Ralph's. He just like grabbed a handful of that shit right out from the front. No, yeah. His flowers are from Ralph's. They're literally from the planter in front of Ralph's in out from the front. No, yeah, his flowers are from Ralphs are literally from the planter

in front of Ralphs in the parking lot island. So Kenya is saying, I don't want to get back together with Matt. I just want to wipe the state clean and be friends again. So Matt makes it for about, I would say 30 seconds. Ashley hasn't even had time to come up to me. Like, I'm gonna give you guys five minutes, you know, because that's what they always do. They always make people clear out of the store.

So they can have their scene. She's like, Ashley's like ready to do her big line. And they're already gone. They're already fighting in the hallway. As he's like, I'm not giving that bitch five minutes. Yeah, because he basically is like, what about all the things that you do, what about all the things that you do? What about all the things that you do, Kenya?

We gotta talk about that. And she's like, Oh, Matt's really, Matt's really crazy because he walked out and then during the scene because they weren't supposed to go out there and they're just being belligerent because Kenya wants to fight off camera because she's gonna try and fake another scene

where she's a victim, which is not really the case. So she walks, follows him out and the hallway to have a private scene. And then you see the entire crew move into the hallway and start resetting up all the lights. Yeah. It was amazing, but they had them cornered because they had they were like, the crew had them like pinned at the end of the hallway. I had like this little staircase thing. And by the way, what what's up with that, what's up with that dog shop in like this industrial hallway? They're like, this is, this is the Tiffany's of dog toys. Then you go outside.

It's just like in some subterranean garage. But anyway, um, so, yeah, so, so maybe she met like the singer. Yeah. So it's, well, I think maybe she's out of the sex with Avenue. Who knows? But so Kenya walks out because she does not she's not there to have Matt Tell her what's wrong with her. She's there to have a scene where they were going to like fake reconcile or something Yeah, so she walks out he falls out the door the crew is like oh shit shit and

He's like what about your flaws. What about your flaws and Yeah, she's well first she tries to say well Cynthia told me you guys had a little combo like they haven't seen each other since that Yeah, it's like a month ago at this point that that even happened so she's faking it and he's like Yeah, well, please leave it You're my problem with other combos. They're about what Kenny wants and what I've done wrong. What about what you've done wrong Where those combos what about your thoughts And then she's just like dust Dust and the doors are swinging So he's like he keeps on saying like that. He's like I only care about you

I only care about you and then he's all then he sits on a step since gets all grouchy Favorite part had dimples had dimple they were cutting to commercial and they're trying to make it look really violent scared They're playing scary music and then they show up close up of the two dogs trying to You know, cuz can you went outside so they're like scratching all the glass like Just horror music playing it was like a really bad version of Kramer versus Kramer So yeah, he's, and Matt, Matt really is crazy. He's like, you learned everything I care about. Oh, he starts to cry.

He's like sort of crying because his body's convulsing. He doesn't want to show it. And then he's like, they shut down your 24 hour fitness. I have to go to plan a fitness. And he's, he starts, he's like's like I just want I just want a sorry That's all I want is a sorry and she's like man Now you know and then you know she's you know I guess the thing that's really bothering him is that whenever they get into a fight Kenya is like fine

Go go off. I've got like five guys you want to get with me Matt and for some reason when he hears that it really triggers him I think he thinks that there are five guys and he gets really upset maybe because he also thinks about five guys getting a burger or something but he like he like the burger guys threatened to date my woman you taking everything from me five guys he literally he literally is very threatened by these imaginary people I mean everyone knows that they're fake you I mean even he says he's like where these guys where these guys and then and then I love when Kenya says shit like that She's like oh really you think I don't have five guys lined up outside Can yeah your last one was in a YouTube movie with you and you paid him to like frozen dinner at your house Come on now you Matt you think I don't have some in and out lined up?

You know what I'm talking about? You know I'm playing the same bracket. You know I'm playing the same bracket. You know I'm playing the same bracket. I don't know Matt. That technology's outdated. But she keeps on saying she was like, you know, Matt, you just keep calling me to ask me to come back or whatever.

That's what she's saying. That Matt's calling desperate on the she's saying that Matt's like calling Desperate on the phone and then he's like oh we didn't have sex in my truck yet a night because you want to do And then the horror music comes back on and now it's like that's Like horror serial killer music and and it's Kenya. It's so funny because it's scoring Ken get doing this. Matt, I know you care, but whatever you're holding on to, you can't get past it. It's like, I'm not like the stuff you said to me, huh? It looked bad. I love how Matt is sitting there with his arms cross going like,

making that look to the side. He's like a gigantic five year old. Yeah, I say, now you can go off to those five guys that you say you're after you and you can go and you can have fun. You can leave me behind because all I ever wanted to do was love you. I wish I wish he became a Ziggy Flicker. I know. Now that's a relationship. Ziggy and Kenya. All I want for you, Kenya, is to be happy like Joshua.

You can't be the cool Kenya. You can't be to the core. No nights. Oh, good. So this is Kenya's last, it's the last scene of the night. She's like, we're too toxic. This is where it's time for me to grow. And a part of growth is knowing when it's done and just taking my stolen flowers home. Oh, Kenya, walking down the hall with those stolen damn flowers. Yeah. Like go get your dogs out of the store Yeah, they are I mean I still don't know who who's the blame in this situation because Matt is like he's a disaster He's also been totally, you know What's the term? I mean like psychologically manipulated for sure, but he's also like Matt like wake up You know like get out of the like you should be leaving the situation, but then same time it's like but Kenya also

What are you doing? I mean this guy has broken in your windows. He's a crazy man. You guys are both fucked right now Yeah, dick matized dick matized. Oh Lord, so I wonder how many episodes real housewives of it mine a house I would say probably about like two or three left Because remember they had to take off one or two for the Oscars and Super Bowl because they're on something nice So I think they'll have a good view and we're in them You know because everything's wrapping up but you know and they probably keep like Yeah, that's because if next week isn't the season finale and maybe the week after that will be I don't know

Yeah, I have no idea. It's gonna be a lot of TV next week because we got a lot of overlapping. Really? So yeah, this week, this week we're having a shorter week because we did Heather's show today so that'll be kind of an extra episode. And we are short on shows.

And since we're not going like crazy full time on Sweet Home, Oklahoma, we're gonna have a day off this week. One day. But then man, next week it starts rolling in. Oh my God. I don't even know how we're going to do next week. It's next week we have Atlanta, Potomac, Vanderpump, Southern Charm, Beverly Hills, New

York. That's some crazy shit. And all these reunions, Vanderpump has a three-part reunion. Beverly Hills has a three-part and secrets revealed. Well, we're not gonna reveal a lot. I mean, we just can't. Oh, you're revealed always sucks anyway. I'm sorry. I've never I've yet to see one good secrets revealed. It's like the party that Kyle threw for the agency again. It's like a good news. It's like the party that Kyle threw for the agency again. It's like a huge... It's like it's usually something about a hilarious thing

that happened with the dog. And oh my god, look at this time I went walking and my flip-flop came off. Ha ha ha ha. It's Kyle still trying to make one of her dogs happen. Yeah. No. No Kyle, stop trying to make it happen.

Um, wow. Fun episode. And, uh, wow, we made it. It's, it's, it's, it's a long day. So everyone, guess what? Tomorrow, we are back with our Vandered Pump Rules episode, our crazy bonus episode from today, uh, when we're driving around in the valley, we'll also be up tomorrow. So if you want to listen to that, it's on Patreon.

By the way, um, uh, if you want to contribute to the crapens mailbag or you want to be in the crapens listener spotlight, which is a wonderful segment because we get to hear from you guys. All that stuff is on Patreon. So if you want to do any of that, go to patreon.com slash watch for crapens and all the instructions are there on how you can participate in with those things. And in the meantime, you know, just stay real yo. Yeah you guys, keep on keeping on, okay man? Yeah man.

Fun times. Hey prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wppens ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.