Watch What Crappens - #433 RHONY: Curl, Interrupted

Episode Date: April 13, 2017

Introducing Tinsley Mortimer. The notorious Manhattan socialite makes her RHONY debut, and here's what we know so far: she yearns to wear black, and her signature look is a curl. Oh, and she trespassed on her ex's place when she tried to retrieve a handbag. Fun! Come listen to our full recap! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode is sponsored by our premier Patreon subscribers Madonna Hines with a sexy J. Chrissy D'Arty and Mia Hanson Aloha. Thanks. What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens?

What happens? What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens when there's so much that crap ends? to talk to other crap and listeners about the shows as they air come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap in and to follow us on social media go to watch a crap and dot

com to find all our social media links and for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon dot com slash watch what crap in that's of and the Banta Blender podcast and joining me as usual is the always hilarious, always wonderful, always spectacular, Ronnie Caram from trashdogtv.com and the Rose Creek Special Podcast. What's up, Ronnie? Well, hello, Bane. How is it going? So good on this fine Wednesday night, Bane. Yeah, we are recording right after Housewives just finished airing. I mean, we're actually, we've been like really on top of it almost accidentally because of the wonky podcast schedule we've had to do since I've been here in New York for Passover.

It's forced us to actually be more timely than ever before. I know. I kind of like it. I kind of like doing it at night. But unfortunately in real life, it doesn't always work. Yeah, it's not really sustainable. It's been really, in a certain ways, it's been cool because we get the podcast up early, but I know once I come back to LA, I'm going to be like, I want my nights back.

Yeah, you're a social animal. And by social animal, you mean I'm someone who was playing like settlers of Catan every other night So yes, that's social. I mean for me it's just keeps me more sober doing it at night I'm like I can't get shit taste to we do the podcast Well, this is I mean well this is exciting because I'm hoping that we have a whole bunch of new listeners today Because our podcast has been featured on the very front page of iTunes, which is bonkers. I don't think we've ever been on the front page of iTunes. I think we've been on the front page of our section, the TV and film section, but never before, with all the celebrities.

Never before on iTunes. Okay. I know it was showing that Estown podcast, which is the big new popular podcast. Yeah, everybody is watching It's like S town and then below it said watch what crap and smells like yeah, we just totally brought that one down Yeah, I mean the gutter. It's literally like S It says something like an NPR thing S town two other things I haven't heard of Bernie Sanders's new podcast and it's like watch or crap in so it's like hey all Bernie Sanders' new podcast and it's like water crap in so it's like hey y'all Welcome to this totally unprofessional podcast if you're looking for Bernie Sanders you've come to the wrong place

I'm not listen to the Bernie Sanders podcast but I will because I love a screaming old man I wanted him to be president so bad just so I could listen to him yell at people. I loved it It would have been funny. Well, you can still yell at him yell. He just will yell with less authority. So anyway, if you're new to the podcast, welcome. We love having you on. If you're just seeing what it's all about, it's just us talking about Bravo. And we do it every single day, five times a week. And we talk about a lot of Bravo stuff.

And there's in May, there's going to be even more Bravo stuff on the airways. But for right now, our primary concern for today is real housewives of New York City. Let's face it. Let's face it. Let's face it. Let's face it. Let's face it.

Let's face it. Okay. Okay. Robona Singer is already fucking bonkers. She's gone bonkers. She went bonkers in the first episode with her, get a brain the wind. And she just continues to spiral down bonkers, Bill. And I love it. It, she hasn't been this bonkers at the very beginning of a season since she was starting her true

would do. Okay. Bethany, I'm having a party on a boat to celebrate true and do it. Okay, it's amazing because I'm renewed. Damn, totally different woman. Okay. Okay. I'll find that's about like seriously. I can't. Literally, I can't. I don't want to be in a boat.

Like honestly, you need to be bigger about Firmona, not just for the shark. Literally, I can't, I can't give me off. The thing is, Firmona spent last season trying to be peacemaker and it probably was weird for her and now she's ready to be crazy again because she's definitely letting it out which is great we love it. Yes that's how I prefer my my Ramona for sure.

And by the way the peaceful version of Ramona is still 10 times crazier than a normal person. This is just we're talking about the context of Ramona she's being crazier than usual. Yeah she's crazier than usual but she's still pretending that she's a piecemaker. She does all this horrible stuff and then says things like, but I was trying to make peace. Okay. Like I'm the most supportive person that anybody's ever had in their life. Okay, you know what the world needs more of right now? Ramona Singer. That's what the world needs. I'll fix everything. Okay.

All I've tried to do is support Louie on. Okay. I can't believe she's so upset. Okay, let's face it, what's her? What's her? Okay. Well, this is crazy. This reminds me of one time when I was a little girl and Geraldine Parsonsmith came over and said,

you know what, you're not sensitive at all. And I said, you know what, I'm gonna be sensitive and to this day, I will always be sensitive around the wind. Okay. Okay, I don't even know what, I'm going to be sensitive. And to this day, I will always be sensitive around the wind. Okay. Okay. I don't even know what I just said. Oh, so we open this episode at Sonya's house. And I know it's going to be a good episode

because whenever a Sonya opens up with a good line, it always leads to a good episode. And she did. She said, she's looking at herself in the mirror and she's like, so much better since I started dying my eyebrows. Yeah. Of course, by dying my eyebrows, she means finding a magic marker and drawing on them every morning. A magic marker. She keeps like, you know, you know, she buys like five sets of

Creole magic markers at a time. She's like, what do you know, this way, if you, if your blue marker runs out, you always have a backup. Where's Pickles? Pickles, get, get, get a cradle marker from box number three. Poor Pickles is stuck in custom somewhere. You know she is. She's still trying to figure out an invoice from the cradle of factory. And then she calls her new entered Connor. She says, we need chocolate. Connor, can we have chocolate at your earliest? Sonia is that little girl who's just always pretending to play school in her house. And it's just a bunch of teddy bears. And she's saying things like, oh, you did great on your school today. Here's a piece of candy and just watches them and waits for them to unwrap it and it never happens.

She plays, she plays tea. She does tea time, except it's not tea. It's yacht. She's like, oh, well, how lovely that the Nigerian soccer team has come here to my yacht. And she's like, like sitting in her bedroom with some old like howdy-duty dolls. And a pop of smurf. These shoes are Gucci. I'll just... at a pop-a-smurf. These shoes are Gucci. Oh, excuse me, everyone. The president of Taiwan is trying to say something

and it's like figment from Disney World. So, Tinsley, we meet Tinsley in this episode. She comes over with one of those gigantic ubers and she's got her luggage in the back. And so she's bringing in pillows and stuff. And so you says, um, oh, you needed to bring your own pillows, Tins. She's, um, you don't see that. If Tinsley has a television, she knows to bring her own pillows.

She's going to be sleeping in mold. I mean, it takes a very strong person to know that she's entering a very leaky, moldy house with no hot water. Yes. And by the way, for those of you who are looking for a gigantic Uber, you can use the service, Goober. It's late in here. Hey, Tins.

Hey, Tins. Hey, Tins. And she's like, I'm so excited to be coming in here and, you know, being around mold. I know her from charities. She's very open-hearted. No, like me. A lot like me. So she's a desperate slut with a very high entertainment value. I approve. Basically, they just have famous last names. That's what bonds them. Hey, remember, remember when we used to go to yachts together when we're married to people who were important. Yeah, those were good times.

Yeah. You want to move in? Sure. We're going to find a waterburger air girl. I believe in this. You know, waterburger. I see it now. You know, tinsley is the so-shlight that really broke the mold. Like literally now that she's moved in, I don't see any more mold. I think she's cleaning things. She's breached it all in. An amazing girl. Tinsley dies. Tinsley, one episode arc before Black Long takes her over. It can't be easy ending up on Real Housewives of New York after being married to somebody named Topper. I mean, oh my goodness. You know, poor people are just not named Topper. Yeah. Okay, they're not.

I think that poor people just don't have double-p's in their name. Topper, Chipper, Kapper, Bupper, Topper. Chipper, Skipper. Skipper. Like a double-p, like name a poor person was double-p in their name. Copper.

Nope. Rich. Rich a named after an element. Copper, pepper. I have. I have some of the double peas in my mind. They're not a lot, but they're not a lot, but whatever, whatever double peas there are, belong to rich people. Okay. So if you name your child pepper, you make sure you're with that. That was actually you just named a porper.

It's in Pepper is one of the unadoptable orphans in Amish. She probably has rich, she probably has, she probably has a rich bloodline and someone failed her along the way, but she's rich inside. She probably became the great Pepper magnet. There was no pepper before Pepper from him. Yeah. Yeah. became the great pepper magnate. There was no pepper before pepper from him. So I like that

as Sony is giving Tinsley a lay of the land. She's like, by the way, if I'm not here, don't use the elevator physically because if you get stuck, I won't be able to get you. I'm like, okay, hey, how do you not use an elevator physically? And be be I'm just imagining all the D all the corpses in that elevator shaft. I don't know what happened to my last roommate. She got on the elevator. I never saw her again, but there's been a weird stench ever since anyway. We'll look into it. The very last episode we find out that she's been talking to Pickles this whole time and it's like Bates Motel. It's just this shriveled up little skeleton stuck in the elevator. We don't take the elevator.

We don't take the elevator. He's imaginary people on sports teams from Nigeria. She's like ever since I saw Inception, I never take that elevator downstairs. But I really admire what Leo's done for the Indigenous peoples. I mean Gucci shoes. I really admire what Leo's done for the indigenous peoples. I mean Gucci shoes. Ever since ever since I saw that documentary about my elevate, what was it called? Silence the lambs.

You know, I've been scared to go in it. So yeah, she's showing her the place and they start talking. She's got you want to stay for a year? You could stay for a year. And Tense says, no, just all I find a place, don't worry. She's like, you want to be uptowner downtown. She says, well, I'm thinking, you know, maybe downtown, I'll try downtown. And so many because there's so many young women downtown, so many young random women just. And they all like to wear colors and they all like to wear colors they all like to wear

colors there's not one double-peed woman walking around yeah they're just random faces people single piece like Stephanie's and Patricia's coming in off the step nightland fairy and then and but then tins he's like yeah but they're different kind of guys down there like techie guys she's like And then, but then, but then, then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but I want to triple P where they're all scattered throughout the name. I'm going for an apple. They're ready. So then we cut to Bethany, but not skeletons. Yeah. What's Carol's up to? So it's Halloween and we get.

Yeah, we see Carol hanging on a balcony. Go on. But get a close up of hanging on a barrel. Yeah. Go on. Buh. It has a motion detector. And every time someone passes, she goes, Hillary, blah. When you made that noise just now, it's like it sounded like one of those machines that self-cleans itself for redundancy. But either way, you're like, I can't do it cleans itself. Redundancy. But either way.

You're like, I can't do it, you do it so well. Um. Um. So it's a copy already. So Bethany is dressed for Halloween. She's in a cat costume and she's like, I'm an alley cat.

I'm an alley cat, like literally a cat. Like honestly, it's like a cat. They're saying, what am I a cat right now? Like what am I, Mr. Miss Afli's? No, I'm like an alley cat. Like honestly, am I a Christy? No, I'm an alley cat. I'm an alley cat like limited. I can't like honestly. It's like a cat There's a one of my cat right now like what am I miss miss affleys? No, I'm like an alley cat like I'll see My crispy no, I'm an alley cat like I literally can't like honestly just like like find a dog You just like chew me to death like I'll see I can't My walls up my taros here. You know what literally all I want is for Carol to say something positive Like is that even possible like here? I am dressed like a cat. Well, she would say something But I mean she has to cats has she even said Anything about them like seriously Carol

Like seriously like my walls are like Carol do My walls up in my walls up and I'm watching both of them. I'll say it again. My walls up and what my walls are up And I'm watching both of them from an alley cat I'm literally climbing climbing up a wall right now like literally I'm looking for trash I'm like I'm trash cans right now and I'm like scaring people and I'm like looking for little mice like literally I can't. If you ask me again, bad if I've eaten yet tonight, I'm gonna be on the floor crying like I'm an alley cat. I can't eat. Carol sees her and she's like, BAA dressed for Halloween and none of us are.

We're shooting with you and you're in a Halloween costume. And that's not where we're here to shoot. What else am I supposed to say? And I'm not going to be honest. Because are you going out? Beth and he says, no, go on to the fucking preschool, Carol. What do you think I'm going to do right now? Like dress like this seriously?

Carol's like, is that you being facetious or you actually go in the preschool right now? And I was about. So Bethany is going to the hamptons next weekend. Like literally? Hamptons. Like hamptons? Literally tons. So Ramona comes over. This is great. Hi, it's me Ramona. Okay, can I leave my shoes on like seriously? I'm not comfortable without my shoes on like seriously? I'm not I'm not comfortable without my shoes I don't feel good without shoes, okay

Literally, I can't I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The shoes stay on. I'm sorry Bethany But yeah, the reason the reason you got away shoes is for the dog like you got away shoes like seriously What are you gonna walk around and he had those dogs? You're gonna wear shoes She goes lucky to stepped on the truck You literally just stepped off the dark and she goes, no, it was the, but okay. She has nothing to do with the shoe, okay? And Beth thinks like, you kicked him under the heel.

No, it was the side of my shoe. Dogs are resilient, like babies, okay? Whoa, this is crazy. I'm just remembering now. Remember this one time when I was a little baby, okay? And I wanted my rattle. And I was like mama, mama, I want my rattle. Ba, ba, ba. And my mama said, here's your rattle. And then Geraldine Parsons Smith came in and said, no baby deserves a rattle. Here's what a baby deserves. And she threw me on the floor.

And guess what? I'm still alive. So I'm resilient like a baby, okay? And to this day, I'll never cut your battle. Sorry, sorry. You beth me. Yeah, all right. Yeah, you know, babies, you just kick them. That's it. It's not like babies, hamsters, you know, little cute buddies.

Whatever, just kick them. That's what they're there for. I'm just gonna give you just bounce them off a wall for a moment. They're like a football. You just spike them. By the way, this is, I can't believe you didn't even acknowledge the dogs. Like you literally just stepped on one of my dogs

with the side of your foot or whatever. You didn't even acknowledge them. She goes, well, maybe it's because you didn't send me pics, Kay. Like maybe I'm being a little passive aggressive. Like who introduces someone to their drugs without even showing the pictures first, Instagram or whatever, Kay?

Kay. I didn't know it. Let's face it. drugs without even showing the pictures first Instagram or whatever. Okay. Okay. I didn't know it. Let's face it. They're not even yellow like sunshine. Okay. Carol says, no, you're not being like passive aggressive. You're the definition of passive aggressive. She's about to go.

Why would I think of giving you pictures when I'm getting dogs? Like, keep the fat. And I was like, find it. Okay., I'm gonna go see the dogs right now like I'm really into it I'm serious high dog high dog oh wow look at the dog. It's kissing me. This is crazy. What a dog. Are you happy? I love your dog This is the weirdest fucking scene everybody's in crazy town in the scene. And she's like, yeah, yeah, basically. Ha, ha, ha, sorry. Um, so basically Ramona is like dealing with the dogs, putting in this weird lip service, you know, being like,

I'm sorry. I'm not gonna say how do your dog unless you ask me out on a date. I'm sorry, sorry. But anyway, I think I'm ready to mingle, okay? I'm not gonna take abuse from some like single dog I've never even met before. By me, dinner dog. So we find out that she's really mad because Bethany's only there for you when she needs you. Okay, like if she's sick, then we text each other and then we get a clip of when Bethany was like bleeding in the home goods or whatever and

her amount is like, okay, I brought you a book and I'm just going to sit in the corner and read the book. Okay. No one here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I'll be sitting in the chair. Okay. Let's face it. You need company. My vagina literally just stopped bleeding all over the place because it's so afraid of you sitting in the chair in my house. So thanks for healing me. Goodbye. Go get out. Here's some photos of my dogs. Bye. So So then Ramona starts gossiping about the conversation that she had with Luan on the on the previous episode and basically Ramona's doing the same thing Which is like look she's happy and if she's happy with the man who cheats on her with any fluszy in the Regency, then fine I'm happy for her too. I'm happy that she can be ignorance and bliss. You know what I'm saying? Okay, sorry. Ignorance bliss. Okay. I just told her. Like, I don't understand.

I've been having your back. And she said I've been having, she said I've been having people investigate her. Like, seriously? Whatever. And Karen's like, no one's been investigating her. I work at ABC News for 15 years. I know what investigation is. Don't worry for president. I'm with her. Literally, like, I'm not even trying to investigate.

Like I just have to look, like people selling these photos. Like it's like the simplest thing in the world. Like honestly, I can be sure I come. So like honestly, like it's not even elementary. It's like, it's beyond elementary. It's like simple. It's like the most basic thing.

It's like basic investigation. Like literally like 48 hours, CBS investigates, but Bethany investigates. Like I don't even mind walls up. If I have to hear any more, my walls up. So Luanne is still living her, that girl life, where she's walking around with her daughter Victoria. Oh, look at us, Adam, this down.

You know, I thought it would be a good time to buy hats since we're going to a tea party, I'm at a hatter party because you wear hats there, right? What better reason to buy a new hat? Let's go to Suzanne, could you have a military? Military? Minimum, Minimumie. I don't know what's going on.

Oh, hello. Great to see you, Suzanne. She's like, well, hello, welcome to Suzanne's hats. Oh, Suzanne and I go way back. Would you believe it? Would you like to try something on? Would you believe it? She has a hot pick number to match my sweater.

How amazing. So then she starts complaining because none of her friends will listen to her anymore. And she's not really talking to anybody at this point. So she stuck with Victoria, you know, who's like, well, I could sell another badge painting if I just film another couple of scenes with my mom. So she's like her sounding board for this. And we went and saying, I'm just so disappointed in Sonya because she's been saying crazy

stuff like, I'll be here for her if the marriage doesn't work out can you believe it girls can you believe it Suzanne hey Suzanne you have a hat it doesn't believe it I would love to wear a disbelieving hat to this mad hat or party Suzanne do you have a hat that we just put on Sony's head that just covers over entire phase she can't stop saying these awful things about Tom. Would you believe it? She said another one just now. She's talking about both sides of her face. Read a hat to cover up one side.

So that we only one side talks. So if you're the only person on the other side, you can talk out of both sides of her face. Frankly, it's creepy. And don't leave it, girls. And don't get her one of those bala clavus that has a hole cut out for the mouth because that just to fight that just ruins everything. We need a little hat. I love that they keep showing clips of Sony pretending to cry.

I mean, when Rome when Ramona was gaslighting Sony on that boat and she's like, I'm so sorry. You're upset about Tom. I'm not upset about Tom. Yeah. Just so upset. I'm so sad. You're crying right now about Tom. I don't care about Tom. Yeah, just so upset. I'm so sad you're crying right now about Tom. I don't care about Tom. I just fucked him a couple of times. You are so miserable about Tom. She's like, oh my god, I'm so miserable about Tom. And I'm here for you. Now, lay down.

Let me step on you, okay? Who's in love of my life? Yeah, so yeah, basically, Luan is a baby. But meanwhile, back over at Bethany's Place, Ramona is now starting to talk about tinsley as she calls her, tinsley, tinsley, tinsley, Mortimer. It's living, moving in with Sonja.

At which point my dad was in the room and my dad goes, tinsley Mortimer, I was like, you know who that is, dad? He's like, no. But your dad is heard of the steakhouse. He's like, wait a minute. Where do I recognize that name? It took him other than for a third anniversary.

He's like, what's that voice I hear on the TV? Oh, yes, that's right. It's every single woman I've ever heard on a flight leaving New York City. I like the Ramona. I like that Ramona is just always offended. Ramona and Bethany are always offended right away at the new ones And she says tinsley like yeah people would say oh look it's tinselmill McGee, you know like look over there Tinsel, no tinsel McGee

Well, it's like already like like tinsel like tinsel So tinseling like oh look it's tinsel Town. Tinsel Town's living with Sonia. Roman, what are you talking about? So anyway. Yeah, I know. She was like a socialite or something. Like seriously? Like who is that?

Like Tinsley? Like she had everything and then it all came crashing down to the ground. I mean, that was horrible. I can't even understand that at all. I just told my apartment for $6 million. Anybody? Anybody? Anybody? I'm a kitty.

The one thing I know about Tinsley Mortimer is that I have a great time not talking to her. Okay, what's the matter? Give me, come on. What's going on? I need to talk to you and said, what's the matter? Oh, I know. She is, because she was always in the photos, okay.

Like there were just photos and then she was in them. And I was like, who's that girl? Tints and will tints McGee over the air. It's not hard to say. Tinsley? No, I'm trying to say tints McGee and I can't say. Wait, is that what the Ramones said, tints McGee? No, she's just saying in that like a berating way. Oh, yeah, tints McGee. Tints McGee. Tints McGee. Look at this one. It's another socialite. It's a tits McGee. Tits McGee. Look at this one. It's another socialite. It's another tits McGee. Okay. Like I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but you know,

parents are okay. Tits McGee. But you stay married to your wealth. Okay. And Carol, Carol says, she was the one who was stalking her boyfriend. Oh, good.

You better be careful before you throw stones, glass house liver, because Adam has, Adam has some bleached hair that's going to be pulled at the second. He even tries to walk away from you. She'll kill him. Well, but she has other things on her mind. Primarily, the fact that she, she'll be having an election night party, which is hilarious just because she's going to be so crushed poor Carol.

Poor Carol. Something that'll be fun for us. And Bethany speaking of being crest, she says, yeah, she had the whole world of fingertips and then it crashed and burned. Like Bethany just rolling around and someone else's misery. And their Ramona is like, show her the back. And that's the good thing about this country. And then they all start laughing.

Well, because Carol says this country also. And they're like, oh my god, we both said this country. Wow, we found the American dream in Tin's the Mortimer. We both fucked really rich people. Both sides of the aisle can come together that you can fuck your way into the American dream. God, what's America, okay? Which then segues into politics and then so Carol says you could be having this

Election night party and then Ramona's like, you know, I don't know. There are all these emails coming out There's a lot of things. It's interesting. That's all I'm gonna say interesting. I'm like I can't I'm like Ramona singer voted for Trump Didn't she? What's the, what are these emails? What's the FBI holding? What's the FBI not holding? What's a BCC? What's a CCC? What's a receipt? Where are the receipts? Hillary Clinton's got a lot of, a lot of emails. No receipts. What's up with that? Yeah, who's this Vicki and why is she leaking? And why she always use that at symbol all the time. No one uses the at symbol. What's that for? I'm embarrassed for her.

Why does why does Hillary Clinton have so many subjects? Okay. I don't know if I want to elect someone who bosses so many people around enough with the subjects. So Bethany is just hating all of this. She's like, oh, Jesus Christ, just you're gonna talk the whole time. Like who wants to go to that party? It's just gonna be you talking. And she's like, well, you know, people like Ramona just parent headlines.

And I actually read the news. And Bethany says, no, you just do, you do the exact same things. She's like, no, I read the articles and Ramona just reads headlines. There was no crime. The guy from the FBI said there's no crime that was committed. And I don't want to be judgey, but I don't want to have a conversation with someone who learns things from comments on Facebook.

Well, you're on the real house, I was in New York City and I'm a Glockling group. So good luck with that. She goes, she goes, don't be so elitist, like you being so elitist is a particular Carol. And she says, I don't want to be a leetist, but I know more than Ramona. I like the idea of Bethany calling Carol elitist when this is the woman who last week squeezed an extra $500,000 off of her tripeca sale, try back a love sale and in parking space and boasted about it to her intern or her assistance were making like $22,000 a year in her interests of who locked.

Is that you know the list? The exceptional leaders seriously. Okay. I've mentioned that I got 500 grand for a parking spot. You know what I need some support. What's the matter? What about it getting here? Oh, what is it, Bethany? You look great. What's the matter? What's the matter of this election? What's the matter? What's the matter? What's the matter? Did Donald Trump park my parking spot? What's the matter? What's going on? What's going on with election? Just for this

year only, she had a new assistant called with the election what's the matter of the election? What's the going on with election So over at Sonya and Tinsley's Tinsley makes the mistake of coming into Sonya's bedroom. I Wrote that as my first note Tinsley and Sonia in the morning and I realized now that sounds like a radio show Hey, it's Tinsley and Sonia in the morning like a radio show. Hey, it's Tinsley and Sonia in the morning. Hey, remember when we used to be on yachts with our much wealthier husbands? Yeah, that was a great time. So great! Okay, we'll be back after this. Tinsley, hey, Tinsley, heard you were dating a tech guy. Maybe we can start using

my elevator suit. Am I right, guys? The humb The little sound effect people. A-pro! What are you doing? What are you doing? And now it's time for the fashion report. The fashion right now is black, because I've just been wearing so many colors in Palm Springs, and you know it's just like, you know when you wear so many colors for like four months,

like something you just want to go back to black, am I right? This has been Jinsley Mortimer with the Fashion Report. Jinsley is very excited to be here. I'm just so excited about this, you know, the view and I'm just back in New York. I'm just so glad I'm really scared to see my old friends up, which, you know, is terrifying coming from a very shallow position that she was in. Like I was on the cover of all the magazines, but not really for doing anything. When she starts telling us, is this one she tells us about herself?

I don't think so. No, she's telling us some, well, this is when she talks about Topra Mortimer. And then she's sort of like, this is not when she fully gets into what she used to do. That's a little bit later. That's after actually the Jorinda scene, which is coming out. Oh, yeah. But what she does is. But what she, yeah. But what she does is- She does talk about Sonya's play.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. They talk about the play. She talks about wanting to get back in on the scene. What I like about Tinsley is that she guest-starred on Gossip Girl, and now she's actually living out the Serena Vanderwolf, whatever her name was. Serena's storyline now. like, she went away, but now she's back. And she's ready to take over the world on the Metropolitan Museum steps. Well, her curling iron have the same power that it used to.

Or will she fall flat? She's magical curling iron made me instantly fall in love with her when she said, and this is later in the episode, but she says, yeah, you know, I would be walking down the right. Okay, this is how I became an it girl. I would go to parties and one time I was walking down this red carpet and people started taking my picture. And so the next time I went, I thought, you know what, I'm going to curl my hair. And then I noticed I got so much more attention with curled hair. And so that became my thing. noticed I got so much more attention with curled hair and so that became my thing.

Curled hair. I was wondering if anyone would ever be able to top sheenas, halter top is kind of my thing thing and here comes tinsley to do it. Curling iron. Yeah, curl hair just sort of became my iconic look. I'm like, first of all, it's not even curl, like curly hair. It's just like your hair all, it's not even curl like curly hair It's just like your hair had a curling iron moment earlier like a two hours ago. It's not iconic It's like a very standard look like have you heard a fairer faucet? Have you heard of have you ever been to church? ever Everybody has like he'd he'd a little rod for Jesus, you know, it's like have you ever seen a woman who designed not to keep her hair flat for the day? Have you ever seen Kim Zolts? Yeah, they're never in pictures. That's why they don't exist

So she's they were talking about her about Sonya show and we get a little clip of it and basically Sonya slapping some young 25 year old guy on the ass and then making out with him. And poor thing is stuck in like old Mavie cargo pants. I just thought, God Sonia, you're, this is like sexual abuse, you know, just cast me into play. I can just sexually abuse some young person. And you know what, you go girl. Yeah, you go and you make out with that gay guy. You deserve it. So Tinsley was married to a man named Copper and it was the first guy. I mean, topper and it was the first guy she ever boned. So she doesn't know what it Taint is, you know, I have a feeling a guy named topper does not know what it

Taint is. No. Or he knows very well. You never go both ways. Oh, I'm thinking of it. I just feel like guys named topper don't really have to do much, you know. They just like all fat and tasty and rich and they just lay there and make you do all the work. Drinking drinks and playing golf. Yeah, that's a life. She really had it. How'd she mess that up, Tinsley? How'd you mess that up? Oh, man. Good luck finding another double P. Yeah, yeah, Tins. Good luck with that. Good luck finding another double P. Yeah, yeah, good luck with that. Good luck with your double P situation. So she's saying, she's really, yeah, she's really kind of

glossing over her story because we talked about it a couple of weeks ago. Someone sent us a bunch of links that we got to read over. And it's crazy. You know, she just kind of went crazy on this X. But basically, we were very innocent. He was my first boyfriend and then he just started working a lot. And so we weren't together anymore, which isn't really the truth. I mean, from these articles, it was that she wanted to be on TV and was obsessed with things and stuff like that. And he's like, I'm sick of people calling me bald and calling me bald and pasty. I'm rich and I shouldn't have to put up with this shit.

So she's like, bye. Yeah, he's like, my name is Topper. I own a chopper and I don't need this lady in my life anymore. I'm gonna find the next one. Put her in the hopper. Put her in the hopper. And flopper. It's stupid.

It's a hopper. And I'm gonna go listen to some John Bopper right now. Excuse me. The hook brings you back. That's that was actually top-of-saying. Anyway, so she's telling Sonia. I don't even know how to date. I have no idea. I thought this was a yesterday. You know, I hate I hate that bullshit. I hate when you see this on TV. Like, oh my god. Like, I'm Tinzy Mortimer. I don't even know how to date like Oh, what do I do with myself? Please you're a socialite your whole life is knowing how to like

Manipulated situations that way you could be in front of a camera or whatever you can certainly handle a date and You're talking to Sonya. Yeah So Sonya is giving her advice so So she's like age, what age she want to date around the 40s. She says, well, I'm 41, but I froze my eggs. But you know, I'm not really picky right now. And Sonia says, you're 41. So you're picky. Naturally, you're picky. Yeah, you're naturally picky. You're picky by circumstance. Yeah.

You're picky because you're picking up the trash on my floor. Yeah. And Sonya says, I don't care how old they are, as long as I can take them to the dentist and they don't have bad breath. And we know that that's true because Sonya is probably still fucking that old-ass guy who was impressed with her napkins. Oh, yeah, I forgot that. From last season. He's like, oh, this nap I was the most amazing napkins I've ever seen. Well, there was after my own hot. There was a pretty cool story how they were so big

because this way they could wipe their mouth on them, one little part and then rotate onward. I was sort of inspired. I feel like that's a good life motto. So then Tensley starts hinting at her past, she says, ever since Topper, I just made bad decisions. Several times the police were called. And I was dating this guy.

And the police were called a lot. And I just went back to retrieve the bag. But then he had a trespass warning against me that I had no idea about. And so then my other child called. Oh my goodness. I was climbing up the tre bus. Oh my goodness. I was climbing up the trellis to his house. I was breaking the glass to the window,

which is kind of our little joke. And as I was spreading blood all over the floor, I suddenly realized, hmm, maybe he doesn't want me to be here. And that's when the police arrested me. As I picked up a piece of the glass from the window that I had just shattered to slit his throat to take back the curling iron, I'd worked so hard to achieve. As I was in the middle of giving his pet bunny a warm hot tub on the stove, suddenly the police arrived, and well, here I am.

So I was threatening to tell Anne Archer lots of nasty stuff about him, but you know, it's none of it was lies. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert-expert.

Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to,

I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. You just got so upset. You got really upset. You know, I mean, one thing led to another, and then I was up in the attic wrestling with Beyoncé, and you know, kind of like fell through a chandelier. And then you just elbow was like, I'm like, okay, I'm down.

No bigs. Gosh, parents just don't understand, am I right? So she's telling us, my. No big, gosh. Parents just don't understand, am I right? So she's telling us, my mug shot was so embarrassing. I mean, my eyebrows were all over the place. She said, but at least I had lashes on, which explains her opening of mine, where she says,

yes, you know, lashes can fix everything, even a mug shot. Done, did it do? Yeah, I was one of those, you know, lashes can fix everything even a mug shot. It was one of those, it was like, it was like sort of a cool aha moment on the real house of New York City. It was like, you know, this was as close as we're going to get to the momentum on this show. We're like, ooh, wait a second. We're telling it backwards. Now we're understanding like the joke came first, but the explanation came after. I know this, this place is going to really shake it up and they're going to end with a dead guy face down on a pool.

You're going to be like, wait a minute. You know, um, you know what I think, Tensin Mortimer, I think one thing that would have helped her eyelashes, not look so crazy in a mug shot was if she got a decent night sleep. Am I right? Oh gosh, you know what guys? And who's the best ghost on this beautiful Halloween episode? Who's the best sweetest? Literally if you're gonna be ghost. Literally if you're asking me to get a bad ghost, like I can't, like I just moved in this

place. If I have to get the ghost busters, like I can't, like I don't want to be slimed. Like I don't want it, like I can't, like my wall is up and it goes through I can't and stop. No seriously, okay? don't want it, like I can't, like my wall is up and it goes through I can't and stop. No, seriously, okay, let's face it, the friendly ghost is Casper, okay? And then in-house team of engineers spent thousands of hours developing the Casper. It's a ported memory phone for a sleep surface that's got just the right sync and just the right bounce. Plus, it's breathable design slicks cool to help

you regulate your temperature through the night. Would you believe that buying a Casper mattress is completely risk free? I mean, this is a Casper, it doesn't even have two piece in it, it's just a single P. And yet it feels so luxurious and rich. Casper offers free delivery and free returns with a hundred night home trial, even to Florida, even to the yacht. If you love it, they'll pick it up and refund you everything. Everything. Would you believe it, Tom? Casper understands the importance of truly sleeping on a mattress or a mistress before you commit, especially considering you're going to spend a 30-year life on it. The Casper is an obsessively engineered mattress that is shockingly fair price-to-win.

The supported memory foam the great and an award-winning sleep surface with just the right sink and just the right bounce, just like Jon. Little like literally like I'm in a place right now like where I can't even like even think about anything but like my mattress like I just want to get on my mattress and like just look at the walls all around me because those walls represent everything that's like in my brain right now like time magazine and one of the best inventions in 2015 that even talk about skinny girl like what's the matter with that? Like I don't I like it literally I can't mind my walls up.

Free shipping and returns to the US Canada. Try Casbah for 100 nights risk free in your own home. If you don't love it, don't pick it up and refund you everything. Okay? I'm single and ready to mingle. I need a new mattress, Casper. Okay. Let's face it, okay? If you want to get $50 towards any mattress purchase, go to Casper.com slash crap ins, okay? That's in use the promo code crap ins,

terms and conditions apply, okay? Yeah, get $50 towards any mattress purchase, by visiting www.casperaz.com slash crappins and use code crappin'. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I need to say it one more time. Casper.com slash crappins, promo code crappins, and guess what, their box, it's remonna blue, okay? Yeah, literally, don't be a pussy, get it? Okay, so next we have...

Derrinda. Going to cryotherapy. No, just resurrecting this old chestnut from the Housewives universe. Cryotherapy. Would no one ship her a fake little baby in a box that she could pretend to mother for two weeks? Did she not have to do any vagina waxing?

I mean, what's going on here? Cryotherapy. So she's gonna cryotherapy. My friend is coming with me. My friend, Romanus, coming to meet me, but don't tell her what it is. Okay, I want to surprise us. Gonna be hilarious.

The moment I probably literally freeze you to death. Roman Mona probably literally frees you in it, guys. The Mona probably thinks it's a place where you have the option to either cry or get therapy. Cry of therapy. Okay, I'll cry. Why not? Is there an option C? Okay, either way, A, B, S, C, I'm keeping on my shoes.

Okay. Is there a dog I can step on? I only step on dogs, I don't know. I'm sorry, send a photo next time. Okay. That's my therapy making dogs cry. Okay So Ramona Ramona comes in and during this like why you dress for a day? You're not gonna do it She goes. I'm just gonna visualize okay. I have to research it more I have to research it plus I have a really hot date down at a way my

Throne is like blushing blushing little girl giggle. Hey, why are there so many Falcons on the windowsill now? In the secret your boobs are out and there's birds crashing into the window And you know, secretly your boobs are out and there's birds crashing into the window. So we all know you're on a single moment. I know you're on a single you can pull a fast one. A lot of people banana me during the medley. So Darynda starts, you know, hopping around in the cryo take without line. I mean, it's completely disrespectful. Well, by the way, and we have to also talk about the fact that the guy that brought her into the crowd chamber or whatever it's called, the pod, the cryotherapists, this guy comes

out wearing one of those super hipster hats that you wear when you're going out to a club. He looked like he was going out to a club. I mean, he honestly Ramona was, who would have thought Ramona was dressed perfectly for this experience? It was like, I was like, this is the cryotherap the fist and she's and don't just like, see, this is what cry of therapy does. See these abs. I'm like, do you not understand that you're, that you're being led to your death right now?

This man is not qualified. He's an Indiana Jones at. Yeah. But like when the 20 versions, yeah. So Ramona started also. And also, yeah, you know, all I've been trying to do is be so supportive of Luan. So you know what? Different strokes for different folks. Okay. He can stick his tongue down people's throws and then she can ignore it. They may like it. I'm just going to do this.

I'm going to shut the Pandora box. Yeah. I think that's the way that works. Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you may not be right for some, okay? What are you talking about Willis? Different strokes in my right So Durinda Durinda is still mad at Sonya so she's trying to get Ramona's trying to get her mad at Leigh Wann and she's trying to get her mad about Sonya It's like Sony has been spreading horrific lies about me. Heartful, disperaging lies. She's been seeing John's fat.

You mean saying that we do coke and bath? We're like, what the hell? Like, those are all those are all true. Yeah. Ramona's like, she's not saying that to me. Hi. As if anyone can ever say anything to Ramona. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Everyone get a word in that dress. So they decide, they're both going after there. They're both going after their women. And Ramona, she gets in the cry, or Dorita. Dorita. Dorinda gets in the cry. Dorinda, yeah.

Dorinda. And she goes, whoa, that's cold. Is it good for you, Labido? Ah! Because I'm so hot, my vagina's burning up right now. Oh! Oh! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Hey, Avery, why don't you get into this cryo chamber, okay? It feels like this cryo chamber needs more sunshine. It's a little too cold. So tensile. She's like, don't stand on young woman in the city. Yeahley she's like don't Young woman in the city. Yeah, she's like I'm in a crosswalk with to go coffee

God is crazy being back in New York She's having your carry what's her face name? She's just like walking around like oh my god It's a hot dog that I'm gonna hold and not really eat. Oh my god. There's an awning. I'm gonna take a photo Oh my god, it's a sidewalk. Oh my god New York City. Oh my god. I'm back I'm back in my Harris girl girls So she takes These takes a cell phone pick of her old apartment building and she's like, oh that's sad You know the Rockefeller's the Vanderbilt's the Mordemers, we have a history in the city. And when you're married to one of them, people look at you differently.

They look at you differently because they know you'll be unmarried very soon. So she goes into a store because you know, that's where people are nice to rich ladies. And the clerk is basically Harvey Firestein. He's like, welcome back honey. Come on in. Oh my God. Someone just told me they saw Harvey Firestein and like a suburban Connecticut supermarket. Oh, and they said what he got, and I can't remember what it was, but it was so embarrassing.

I was like, how could he call himself a self-respecting game? And it was like something really Really shameful. Oh, I have to come back to you guys with that. I'm so sorry like salami and like off-bread Ben and Jerry's Yeah, it was it was it was just like like an embarrassing brand choice. I don't know. Yeah, and I feel like one play I feel like Harvey buys one play. Yeah, I feel like he's a one-fight kind of those are fighting words. Those are fighting words now He just I just imagined that he says things like, I don't want to waste money on two plies. Isn't it weird that Carol was basically Harvey first? I know. That's basically it.

But we know he buys charming because I'm sure he likes bears. So Tinsley, she's like, people often wonder how you become an it girl and it doesn't happen by mistake. So, like, when it happened to me, I was on a red carpet and they started taking pictures of me and then all of a sudden I blew up. I'm like, that's mistake. That was a mistake. You were a minute girl by mistake. And by the way, just because you're into tech guys, it's not mean that you can be an it girl like okay that means you an IT girl. It's like I'm a remote control so she said um yeah suddenly I was in fog and Harper's Bazaar this little girl from Virginia. This little social climbing girl with a curling iron from Virginia. I literally walked away for

four years and I want my life back. I'm walking back in. Would you like to try on some tapestries, hun? Yes, Harvey. Yes. She needs to see Ursula, you know, and Ursula's going to like take her voice, but she's going to get her curls back. I feel like Ursula wouldn't even put in the effort. She'd be like, yeah, girls, not stealing the seed from me. Let it try. Ursula's just saying, listen, I just got this curling on from

Rosary. As well, you can just take it, honestly, just take it. I got better thing. You want to watch for a while? I'm feeling generous today and go for it. Dorenda is at John. It's in Adela. The triumphant return of Hannah. We haven't seen her. generous today and go for it. So Doremda is at John and Danette La. Danette La.

The triumphant return of Hannah. We haven't seen her. We didn't see her at all last season. Now she's back. And the big, she's an adult. And the big thing is that she is now shopping for a couch. And they're like, so how long is a couch going to take? And like, well, at least I'm gonna be about three months.

And Hannah is like, I cannot believe it's gonna take three months to get my couch. Well, I agree with it, but the same time, it's like, well, you're not buying it, so, you know. Also, what kind of fucking story is that Jonathan Adler? It takes three months to get a couch seriously. I agreed with her there, but she still is Hannah. She says, three months, mom, I can't go three months

without a couch, things live and die and are born in three months. That's a really interesting planet Earth that Hannah watched. I think she watched that out of order. Or she's talking about, you know, Tinsley's career. So they're basically just looking for a couch you care. So Bethany, by the way, I thought Hannah looked really good. I want to say that.

I thought she looked really good. Yeah. So Bethany, I mean, yeah, okay, I don't disagree. So Bethany is trying on. She's organizing her closet with Wasamata. The ask kisser assistance. These girls are hilarious because, and are I have to say if you're going to pay for a hooker, pay for a nice hooker, you know, some people just want a hooker that's

going to be nice to them. And they're her people who really are there like they could suck your weiner or they could just be really nice to you. And these girls really are doing well for Bethany because she seems so happy and she knows that she's just paying them to be nice to her But they're still making her happy and I say you go girl. Yeah, exactly Bethany, you know, I think Bethany is just like purging stuff from her closet, which is something we see all the time I think we just saw it last week in fact from Sonya So Bethany is like I don't need this. I don't need this. Well, I was gonna think about when I got this like I'll say like my I won't like like like I believe you asked me about this dress I'll be on the on the floor crying. I'll be crying onto my dresses like that you can.

These shoes like it's dress for success. Like what are they dress for success for hookers? That's what these shoes are like seriously. And the girls are like those shoes, Bethany. Whoa, what beautiful shoe. Bethany you look so good in those. You're sure you can be some generous. Oh, you're such a generous person, Bethany.

Yeah, they have to pretend to be interested in cookie. Bethany's like, oh look, like a cookie. Look at her, look at her. She looks like she's just sitting here. Like, every money I think she's- I think she's dead. I'm getting better, about it now. I'm getting better. Like, oh, Bethany. Oh, Bethany. You're so strong.

Oh, you're so good to cookie. You're such a strong person, Bethany. And then Bethany starts telling a strong person, Bethany. And then Bethany starts telling us about Dennis, her boyfriend, she's like, yeah, you know, like sometimes we see each other and sometimes we don't. Like, I sometimes I see him a lot. Sometimes I don't see him that much.

It's like pretty good. Yeah, she goes. Yeah, you know, it's really new for me because like, I'm just gonna mean myself and I face. Oh, really? Yeah, when does that any? Has it, when did that begin again? Like how long after you were born?

I think that's actually what she came out of the womb saying. It's like, wow, wow, wow, wow. Guess what? Listen guys, I'm gonna meet myself in that face. Like just put me in a blanket. Like I'll see a blanket cap like this one. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow.

Me and myself in that. That's it. I get this one. So Sonia, I get Jesus Christ. You know, Father Son Holy goes to meet myself, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, a dirty house. It's like, all right, just bring your own paper towels, you know? So she's walking around and she says, someone said they couldn't come because of the crevasses in my stones.

And I said, then don't come. She's having to honestly bring over a sandwich and she's got the neighbor over here working. She's fucking stuff. Like I'm surprised like the executive producer of the show, isn't they are cleaning the windows? You know that like the borrowed butler. You know that was probably the driver like the onset P.A. or some like some old P.A. Although that wasn't the butler from isn't the butler from her like brother-in-law or something like that.

The borrowed butler Patrick had borrowed butler. I think Barrow Butler, Patrick Henry, I have Barrow Butler. I could say Sonia's Barrow Butler. And he's like, girl, everything's terrible. It's like just this bitchy, snarky little Butler. Yeah, and then they start talking about, you know, Tinsley is bringing these T sandwiches from a place called Alice's Cup of Tea or something like that. And then Sonia is discussing what women's reaction is going to be like to tensly. She's like, you know, because a girl, you know, women, if there's someone who's younger or prettier,

you know, women aren't so happy about that. They want, they want you to do well, but not better than them. Women can be competitive and they just cut to Ramona. They're like, we'll just get right to this right now. From Saga, Saga, where are you? Saga? She's early and everyone's like, geez, of course, Ramona's early. And she just grabs the sandwiches, starts eating it alone outside while screaming Sonya randomly. Exactly. And she's wearing black, by the way, as is Tinsley, Tinsley has an emotional arc behind it, which is, as we mentioned before, you know, I just spent four months down, four years in Florida, and like the past four months, just so many colors, like, just as really important to get back to black, you know, I just

feel like it's really empowering. Like, this is a great arc for you, Tinsley, getting it, getting to wear black colors and turning on your curling iron. And stop saying back to black because, you know, Amy Winehouse didn't turn out so well. And the butler says says she's in black. He's all mad. And Timzley says, I'm in black. And then the neighbor tries to greet Sonia.

Everyone's dissing Ramona in the kitchen. And so the neighbor says, I'll, I'll go say hi. I'll greet Ramona. Don't you, don't you worry, Sonia. And she's like, good luck with that. So she goes over and she says, hi Ramona. Just do I know you? Who are Ramona, just do I know you? Who are you?

Like, do I know you? Let's face it. I don't know who you are. Like who's your face? And the sacred hot. Are you from Sacred Hot? No, no, we just met like last week. Are you with the supermarket?

Are you with stop and shop? No, no, shop, right? No, no, no, no, all foods. No, no. Are you the woman who works the subway who goes out the tokens? You know, they should discontinue those tokens. Well, no, no. Whole foods? No. No. Oh, you're the woman who works the subway. You do this out the tokens. You know, they should discontinue those tokens. Well, they actually have.

No, I'm actually the neighbor, the neighbor. Like, oh, you're the dual woman, aren't you? Oh, so nice to see you. It's so nice that you went to Bethany's dress for success events. No, no, no, these are my clothes. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know. You say good-hot. Are we back to say good-hot again? I'm not gonna miss it. I've heard of your videos. What do you heart. Are we back to sacred heart again?

Anonymous a I've heard of your videos. What do you think about Hillary Clinton's emails? I know right So um the Butler's just like making shitty comments about her in the kitchen and Sony knows what this can lead to because all of her employees get her in trouble every year Shit talking people so she says no be nice to Ramona. She had a very difficult upbringing because get over it. Yeah. Well, the other thing is that they're talking about how Mario cheated on Ramona and Ramona was, and then the, the butler's like, wouldn't you? Yeah, because she goes, she was so mean to that wonderful man. And Tensley says, didn't you cheat't you cheat honor and he goes wouldn't you? I'll take two marios and let him cheat all day long if I could get a chance to slather him up and all those pecs like Ramona did

so Tinsley Goes over and tries to say how to Ramona Ramona and Bethany are the most notoriously difficult people to get to know on the show. They're just horrible to new people. They're like the vikis of real housewives of New York. Yeah. And so Ramona, uh, Ramona just goes, hi, I'm high. She keeps her sunglasses on.

And, uh, then it gets to Ramona. And she says, meeting me hungry is not meeting me at my best. Okay. It has to her money. She says meeting me hungry is not meeting me at my best. Okay? Ronnie, I can't even believe that when you quoted her just now you skipped a Let's face it because she goes let's face it Meeting me when I'm hungry. You're not meeting me at my best. I Can't believe it. We said let's face it this entire podcast and now she actually says let's face it and you skip right over it I don't type down let's let's face it. You know, she says them all the time. Are okay. Let's face it.

It's expected. Okay. I guess now would be a good time to mention to anyone who's new to the podcast that if we ever mentioned Geraldine Parsonsmith, it's not a real person. It's just a fake person we created. And if we ever refer to Wassamatta, what's going on? What's what's what's happening? Those, or what's, what's happening? Those are fictional names for Bethany's assistance.

I have to say that now because we always get a new, you know, a new onslaught of who's Geraldine Parsonsmith? I googled her, I couldn't find a single, I couldn't find her anywhere. Who is this person? It just happened on our Facebook group. So just putting it out there, it's, you know, we're beginning to be in a season. You have that thing on iTunes. Just trying So just putting it out there. It's, you know, being in the season,

you have that thing on iTunes. Just trying to get ahead of the story. So back at Tea Party, everybody's showing up in black and Sony is just so confused. Carol meets Tinsley and Tinsley's going on about, you know, Palm Beach, color, et cetera. And Carol says, Oh, see, I live here now. I don't

think social life exists. It anymore, but they do. And they're bored at Sony's home for wayward girls. That actually made me chuckle. Me too. This is the Carol I like. Yeah, me too. It's just, it's just being shitty, but in a fun, in a good, natured way, and just laughing with her huge dentures. I think it's so cute. And Tinsley says, quote, I've been wearing so much color the past four years.

The struggle never ends, Ronnie. It just never ends so much color. I even straightened my hair for a week. It almost put me down. As of Ramona. Ramona is showing her through Sonya's house. Like Ramona is the most insensitive human being alive. She goes, yeah, this is house. This is the living room. Okay. And those are the drugs. One is named Mielew with something. Oh damn. The proud dog. A very proud dead dog. Did you not go to Mealews cremation ceremony and get little bits of Mealew all over your face like everybody else?

How dare you, man? Do you not still have Mealews 9-11 ashes on you? Do you not still have them? So Bethany's on her way with some friend. I'm every with tea party at 3.30. Like, Terry's wearing black, by the way. How could could you Terry? How could you? How dare you, ma'am? All Kristie vagina crew is up here in pastels. So Ramona and Carol are outside talking and Ramona says she's talking about this fight with Durinda and how she can't she invited Durinda and

Sonya to stay with her into the work. She has. No, he emptied. He emptied. Right. Oh, in the Hamptons, yeah, that's right. She won't go to the Berkshires. She says in the Hamptons, there was supposed to both stay with me, but they're fighting.

So I, you know, I have to tell Sonya, there's a change of plans. And Carol says, wait, you disinvited Sonya? And she goes, no, I said change of plans, And Carol says, wait, you disinvited Sonya? And she goes, no, I said change of plans, not just inviting. It's totally different things. When you change your plans, you change plans. When you disinvite, you say you're not invited anymore.

You're like, oh, I've been a reporter for ABC News for 15 years. And then Ramona, I'm sorry, Ben, but Ramona says my favorite thing of the whole episode, because I thought they could make up at both state, but she's not boring the project. Fuck. Who are you? Oh my God, that was amazing. There's nothing else to say about that. It was just amazing.

Cause I interrupted you. I used to have to do that on ABC news for 15 years. So Carol's like, what else is going on? And Ramona says, I've been having 50 days. It's like covering my neck right now. Oh, Hickey's I love Hickeys. And Ramona goes, well, I love kissing. It's a whole, it's a whole adventure. I'm like, I mean, this is a terrible adventure. I don't want to imagine Ramona's the art of kissing

by Ramona singer. What sort of adventure is that? Is that an adventure where like you hear stories of it about a crew of people who went over waterfall and all perished or read my cannibals like that's the adventure I imagined with the Ramona because when Ramona kisses people. How do you even give that mecha Hickey like without choking on my like, like, a lamprey. So, Dinsley comes out to meet them. Wait, is this what they're cutting down? No, so Carol, Carol starts talking about again

that she's like, talking about how she's more informed than Ramona, because one of them says, like, I'm sorry about the other day at Bethany's and Carol was like, no, no, well, you know, the thing is, you know, I shouldn't have been mean because no, I am more informed than you. It's better. I was like, then the cat will read her. Yeah.

And Ramona says, um, I'm pretty informed. You don't get to where I am without being informed. Like, where is that? Yeah, where? How do you think I got to where I am in life, that being a born? Right. I don't know where you are in life. I'm not so sure that's that's like the

the the personification of being informed about things as evidenced by your un informed surgeries. Your eyes are now on your like your like on your temples. Yeah, you're currently in a patio with deep crevasses with a hamburger face talking to someone who's insisting that she knows everything. Oh, man. Because she worked at ABC News. Congrats. So then over in Bethany's car, Bethany and her friend Terry are still driving over and they have the realization that people are probably going to be wearing hats this party.

And Bethany's, well, I'm sure like LeWand's going to. And then Bethany goes, well, I don't think there's a hat that can fit LeWand's head and then they cut to LeWand wearing a gigantic gallon hat walking down the street and she just goes well I hope they're wearing hats and it just cuts to commercial. So Bethany enters and there's clown music and Bethany's like what the hell it says color I'm the older person in color. I look like a fucking pinion. Like a fucking pinion. I'm like, what? I mean, if you're a pinion, I think the only thing anyone's getting out of that is a two-it-0, like one single to zero.

I'm like, would she, she brings this big gift basket and she gives it to bitchy waiter or a bitchy butler and she's like, all right, this is basket. Okay, this is plastic. It's wrapped with plastics of rink can't get on it. Okay, inside this tea, all right, this is basket. Okay, this is plastic. It's wrapped with plastics of rain can't get on it. Okay, inside this tea, all right. So tea because it's tea party and you like put water in it and then tea comes out. Okay. And there's this like sugar, which you can put in the tea if you want.

What's fun that like whatever? Do you understand? And he's just looking at her like fuck you bitch. I know what a gift basket is. Okay. Get your pinata face out of mine. Okay. That's not funny.

She comes out of his cow. By people are blindfolded. So she comes in and Bethany enters and Tinsley goes right up to her. You know, she's like, Oh, hi, I'm Tinsley and she goes, Oh, hi. I'm walks away. And Tinsley's like, I feel like she wasn't very nice.

She could have been warmer. I'm like, Tinsley, we know you've seen this show. Don't pull the jewels thing. Okay, we had that last season. It's Bethany. She's gonna be frosty. It's gonna take a while. If you take a turkey out of the freezer,

you gotta wait a few hours before it warms up. But I'm famous. So Luann enters and kisses Tinsley. And she's like, oh, I haven't seen you since Palm Beach, but, well, well, well. So he've been friends for a long time. Everybody kisses and Lou Ann's like well it's still I see with me and Bethany and Bethany because wow look at that hat low and behold there's a seat for every ass and a hat for every head. And then they just are totally fated each other. I love the hair. It's always back to hair, isn't it?

No, but it's here. Say I love the hair. OK, well, thanks. I like your down. So Ramona starts grilling tinsley on the other side of this tiny patty. And she's like, so tinsley, are you married? Which she knows the answer to all of this shit. Yeah.

Of course she's separated. Do you have children? OK. Do you regret not having kids with your husband before you lost the double P and Tinsley actually doesn't fall for it and get mad. And instead she says, Oh, of course, cyber credit. But now I'm 41 and you know, I just got to keep drawing and I've still got a curling iron. So look up. And Ramona's like, my god, this woman is amazing. Okay. I can really appreciate a woman who can admit that she's just a stupid slut that lost everything.

Because in America, you could do better. Well, even more importantly, is that Tinsley totally took away Ramona's power by just immediately talking about how she has a mug shot. And then Tinsley's like, well, I don't know why. I always seem to talk about all the time. It's like my version of therapy. I'm like, no, this is not a therapeutic move. You were taking away Ramona's ammunition because you know,

she was totally red issue to see with Durinda. I'd be like, you know what, I saw, I went on the internet and I sold mug shot tensile and a ride browser like a boomerang. Okay. Happy birthday, Tinsley. I got you a mug with your mug shot on it. Too much. Is it too on the nose or those just your eyebrows?

So yeah, Tinsley's like, yeah, I just bring it up all the time like Tourette's. Like I just have to say it. Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Tinsley. Have a mug shot. How's the rest, Ed? Oh, it's Dr. Boyfriend. So have a mug shot. I was arrested. Oh, stock to boyfriend.

So Ramona decides to be positive and she's like, everything happens for a recent tensely. You know, good things come out of negative things come out of negative comes positive. It takes balls to do what she did, which I see a lot of now because I'm dating. I'm single, ready to mingle. Okay? Literally, it takes balls. If you're going to break into someone's home, you've got to throw a ball to the windows. You can crawl in. Okay? At this point in the series, they don't even get Bethany full scenes. They just, they're cut to Bethany saying something totally bitchy. So they cut to Bethany and you're like, I'm going to taste this. This Is this good? Now, disgusting. It's like, what is this? And they cut away again. And then

she basically just like, by the way, she just like leaves her friend at the, I guess that's later, but she's like, okay, Terry, you want to say, you want to say, okay, Terry's like, wait, hold on. So then Luanne and Sonia have a talk. And Luanne's like, so, Sonia, I don't like the negative things you've been saying. You know, things like, so, so on, yeah, I don't like the negative things you've been saying, you know, things undermining saying that you'll be with me even after marriage follows apart. And so, it's like, well, you know, I just, you know, like I'm mad at Derinda because, you know, what kind of friend introduces you to a player like that? I was like, oh, so on, yeah. Yes, so on, you says, I was being nice. I mean, I was saying, I'll be there for you.

Even when your marriage inevitably falls apart, which it will because Tom keeps going down to the Regency and boning lots of different women. And then teaching them back, Ammon. And some you says, so that was a fluke moment at the Regency Hotel when he's just making out with some girl, she's, that was, that was a year ago. That was the past. And now I'm getting angry. So I'm getting angry now. Even if I'm wearing a vintage rough, Lauren pattern, doesn't mean I can't get angry. So she's like, I don't trust Tom. And that's why I'm not in the wedding party. So they just basically agree to, I don't even know what they agree to. Just like, I guess, be nice.

We still be friends sort of. And then, but Lou is now launching her new theory, which is that she thinks Sonia is jealous of, of Lou Ann's burgeoning friendship with Durinda. How they've become so close, which is funny because it wasn't that long ago that Sonia, I think it was Sonia was accusing Louana of being jealous of her in Ramona. Remember when Luana was feeling on the outs? Yeah, these ladies. No one is jealous of you guys. Like, you can guarantee. Luana's different.

So then Luana, of course, is like, Sonia feels like she just missed the yacht. That yacht was borrowed. I'm like, the Harbour Cruise does not count. You do not own that yacht. Please do not front young lady. You do not. I had my I had my prom on that yacht. Okay, that is not just yours. Okay, I have memories from 1996. So Ramona is telling Sony about not inviting to Rinda because oh no, Sonya is wait, Ramona

is saying that Sony is still mad at Dharinda, but the bark she is, okay, because she didn't get to go to the bark she is last year. And Sonya sure enough is mad. She's like, I can't believe that she would do that to me. It's like so long ago. And she's totally all the things. Yeah, all the things. So Beth and he's like like let it go. Okay, like all that happened in the

Berkshire's is that I was called a hair stealer and a whore so there the end. Yeah, we're on a jammy's that's it That's it and I'm at a strange Santa should know and during the May two cakes, which didn't make sense because you can put one K get all the other and totally cross the other K like literally I can't like I don't see I don't even understand anything about the Berkshire's anymore. I like she was making fun of Ramona though. That was really funny. She's like, so what the hell? It's that's how I was wondering. I mean, here you are at a funeral like a scar. She's like, I'm dating. Off that stuff. Seriously, what do you increase? What do you got?

Chills? Are they multiplying? I like when Ramona totally nagged Lou Ann's average. I was like, Louan, I love this. This reminds me of when I was in fashion. And I'd see this in Connecticut a lot. It's like what I'm seeing with, this looks like it's something at Talbot's. It's so great.

I love this. It's very Talbot's. You know what reminds me of Taldoors. Remember Taldoors? It was around in the 80s. That's what this looks like. You know something you'd see on their on sale rack. That's what it looks like.

The way I love it. When's actually it's Ralph Lauren vintage, but you know, Ralph Lauren, well, you know, you can make mistakes. So Tinsley is with Rumon and Carol talking about how Sony is helping them date and they just laugh in her face. Yeah. And then Beth and he's like, you know what? I'm going to eat a little bit of the sandwich.

Okay, look, I'm eating a bite of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I'm going, I'm out of here. Yeah. Bye, everybody. I'm out of here. Seriously. Bye. And a tinsley basically thinks she's a total bitch, but says it in a very nice way. And then on her way out, Bethany's like, all right. Bye. You know, I mean, it was fine, but at least I'm not in a pretty with like LeWan. Yeah. And suddenly it goes, I know. I thought it was that designer, Laura Ashley and the butler goes salvation on me.

Yeah, Bethany was like, that's amazing. I love this queen, which makes me think that Bethany might like us. By the way, I want to knock you shitty little butler. Yeah, he's like the reincarnation of Bernie the cook from Beverly Hills. You know what was funny? It was that when Bethany was saying that Ramona looked like whoever from Greece. I don't know if you noticed it, but the but the butler, the bar of Butler was standing behind Ramona and he just goes,

Oh, like how dare you, Sully, musical theater. We don't know. Yeah, she looked like Sandy from Greece and that scarf in the end when she comes out and she's all sexy all of a sudden. Yeah, she's conformed for her man, just like a woman should. Yeah, exactly. When she learns how to keep a husband

When she learns the most important thing is to be naughty right now and then eventually transition into a Ralph Lauren print that looks like it's from Laura Ashley I do have to say Lewanda's normally on point with her fashion, but that was even I could tell and I'm not even very good with fashion Even I could tell it looked like a poultry Yeah, I did even if it is a foreign Lauren okay, and then we saw it all right. Well that brings us to the end of of this episode Be on I know I'm excited for next week's New York City because as we saw in a preview room It goes let's face it. She's being a B.I. and that's a direct quote. She said, let's face it again twice in this episode. Let's face it.

You guys, what a wonderful day. We did it. We are at the end of our in Real House of New York City recap tomorrow. Oh my god, tomorrow, Southern charm and crap into male bag. I Seemed to remember that our Southern charm recap was really funny this week So everyone go listen to that you're gonna enjoy it and by tomorrow. I mean on Friday Because I'm gonna post this now and it's still technically Thursday So I don't know what time. Yeah, Southern charm was super fun this week super fun. So everyone. Thanks for Thanks for listening go to watchrocrapins.com to find our social media and you know patreon.com forward slash watchrocrapins to do things like um crap and smell bag or a listener spotlight or if you just want to

hear a bonus episode this week which was super fun because we talked about meeting all sorts of band of couples people and star magazine party so go listen to that. Yeah, okay. Okay. Thanks everyone. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Add Free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. us about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.