Watch What Crappens - #438 RHONY Porn Wars & HyperClintonation

Episode Date: April 21, 2017

Ramona invites the girls to the Hamptons to dog pile Bethenny over boob pics from two decades ago, and Dorinda sicks the NSA on Sonja’s ass. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air,

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I fear I am with the lovely gorgeous thin, talented and emotionally secure, Ben Mantelker of the B-side vlog of the Banta Blender. Hi Ben. Well, and the words of Meet Loveaf 2 out of 3 in bad. I don't know if I just sing it like this. Hi Ronnie, hi everyone. Hi everyone out there in podcast land. How's everyone doing? I'm talking to everyone's like live audience. You know, my mom's a cook. And when she taught me how to make meatloaf, it made me not like the actual singer meatloaf. I was like breadcrowns. Come on,

meatloaf. We're together. Wow. That's the kind of show we're going to get today, guys. Yeah. This shows me like a bat out of hell. I wish I would do anything. I would do anything to podcast, but I won't do that. You guys today is a very exciting day both because we're doing real housewives of New York and also Because Ben and I just got a delivery from someone named Jackie Santelian or a Santillion. Oh, Santillon. Oh, no, no, remember, it's not pronounced like that. It's like Shant, Shant, yeah. Remember she had a birthday shout out for her sister. Oh, so what is that? And and her name is it's like Shant, it's like, it looks like it's Santillon, but it's like Shant Yon or like, it's like champagne, Jackie champagne on but it's like shuntion or like it's like champagne Jackie champagne Jackie

champagne spelled like someone from real house was of New Jersey would smell it and T I L L a M Yeah, it's champagne Jackie has a T-shirt and design store called velvet hammer designs and she made us T-shirts now called Velvet Hammer Designs. And she made us t-shirts. Now, whenever we get t-shirts made,

or when you order them off cafe press or whatever, they're really like cardboardy. These are really, really soft and luscious. Our logo looks beautiful on the back of it, and they have our logo on them. And they're both from Real Housewives of New York. One is, I made it in life, which is mine. Oh nice. This is extra large. So that will be me. And yours is it's about Tom. Oh my God.

They're so good. I can't wait to wear that and put it on. And like I can't wait to put it on and wear it up running Canyon. You can see people notice. It's just so good. I'm so excited to have these so thank you so much Jackie and if you guys want to Hound Jackie to get copies of these shirts for yourself or have her make shirts for whatever you need them for She does a really good job just email her at velvet hammer designs at gmail.com That's velvet hammer designs at gmail.com. Thank you Jackie. We're so excited Thank you Jackie. I know me too will you you should take a picture those and put them on our Facebook I will but I'm having them wander at the moment because I want to wear them and I don't want to

give you years when it smells like a new t-shirt you know that smell oh yeah you know I never care about that I'll I'm the sort of person who like opens up bedsheets and puts them right on my bed instead of washing them first. I'm dressed like that. No, darling, no! Broken bed, linen department. No, honey, poor people put those to get... you're basically sleeping on poor people hands. When you do that. That makes me feel superior. I'm richer than the five-year-old who made these. I don't have much in life, but one thing I do know, I can sleep on poor people, children hands. Linen things. Let's get onto our

speaking about, shall we? Oh no, what do you want to start? Things. Oh, no, I was going to make a, uh, I was going to try to make a lent, a linen theme segue and drill housewives in New York. Speaking of starched up low thread count bitches. Well, this does have Sonya Humping a bed in a home that's, you know, borrowed again. So it's like a home with much more money than she currently has. So it's kind of opposite of what we're talking about. Cause it's like a poor person bouncing up on rich people hands. It's a very noble home. Very noble.

Noble home. Alright, so let's see here, Ben. Where do you want to start? Well, let's start right where we where the show begins for crying out loud. Why don't we start with Sonia and Tinsley packing for the Hamptons and Sonia, you know, just a classic Sonia moment, it's just the beginning of the show, these flashes. And I just like Sonia pointing to her luggage and she shows it to Tinsy. She's like, oh yeah, this is the Argentinian luggage. I like to take it on road to, you know, when I take a car trip, I take the Argentinian luggage. It's, you know, it's just for the Argentinians. Sonia, that's for everywhere you go. And those are probably knockoffs. You probably got those in some alley in Argentina.

Yeah, probably says made in Buenos Aires, but spelled B, W, A. And then there's like just an emoji of a nose. Yeah, totally real. Don't cry for me, Argentina. I just like when Daddy's known as. Don't cry for me, Argentina. I just like when Daddy's a son is in Argentina and she's like, does come inside us, which means poor people. So I could imagine this patty of the phone popping out of one of those,

just calling Sonya poor, like listen up. Don't cry for me. Lugged dealer. So Durinda and Luan are at a Luann's house in the Hampton. She's like, home again, home again, jiggity, I'm rich. And they pull in. Where's the blue? Oh, they pull in and we get a tour of this house.

And they're, you know, it's like a small cute house. Yeah. I think we've been there before. I think we saw it last season. Well, we saw it when she moved in, member. And she's like, yeah, I just chose to get something smaller, because the kids are gone and everyone's gone. And I just need something smaller, which basically means,

you know, I got kicked out of the other one, because I was Po. So now here's my run and rut. But they're trying to like, do a fish eye lens and stuff to make it look bigger. Which means the editors, yeah. Which means the editors really likely way in. And so you have to give her credit because she's obviously nice to the staff of the show. Well, I mean, speaking of staff, this

is where we first met Adam, I believe. I think it was, you know, Luan was having a little something at her place. And Adam was her chef. Yeah, the kitchen was so small that Adam couldn't escape the monster that was standing by him going. I like riding on the handlebars of bikes. Ha ha ha.

You know, that's really hot. Playing ping pong and not being up the balls afterwards. I wish this kitchen had some counters I could sit on sexily. Let's have a baby. And baby, I mean a puppy and my puppy. I mean a puppy called baby. Carol's sex game is still, you know, she's still making an effort. And I'm not against anybody at any age having a working vagina or penis. I mean, look's still making an effort. And I'm not against anybody at any age having a working vagina or penis. I mean, look, fuck until you die, okay. And have pride in it. There should never be shame in your age or your weight or anything. Everybody should be

able to fuck. Here's the thing. I don't really want to hear about how you squirt, you know, it's like certain things that Carol does that I'm like, I don't need to know that you just came from getting a needle inserted into your neck. You know, there's like certain things that Carol does that I'm like, I don't need to know that you just came from getting a needle inserted into your neck. Yeah, there's some things I don't, I'll trust you. Yeah, yeah, I think that's a great, great outlook. How about we go forward just assuming that all of our sexual organs work until we find out otherwise. Well, it's just, yeah, until you break one on a windowsill.

Exactly. Thank you. Or break one on a windowsill. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. Or would have to do it. Yeah. So we're getting a tour of this tiny house and for HGTV, the time. Yeah, that's a tiny house. The microwave is in the toilet. Literally, you open up the toilet thing and there's a microwave. I hate tiny house. Because anyone with one of these anyone with one of these toilet says the same thing I've heard this a million times. It's the catalog of toilets So it uses a lot of gas These probably takes a lot of gas. You know, I'm saying she has a magic toilet that like cleans your butt mall that stuff Durant is said it keeps you can't believe when times away, huh?

stuff. And during this set it keeps you comping him in times away, huh? Yeah, I like I can just imagine the way I am sitting there confessing everything to that toilet. Well, I mean, toilet. I mean, what are these, what are these bitches always complaining about? Why get to be happy with me, toilet? I mean, we're getting married.

Can't believe it. We're getting married. Me and Tom. What about what she did to me? Which is Louis Anne we're getting married. Can you believe it? We're getting married me a job. What about what she did to me? Which is Lou Ann's new favorite thing. But what about at the reunion? What about Sony? I mean, Sony doesn't care about my marriage. She just goes on about her Argentinian luggage. Let me tell you something just because it's from Patagonia. It doesn't mean it's actually from Patagonia. During this so used to dating a big guy that cleaning his butt really isn't beyond the scope of things That she would do out of love, you know, she sees a big toilet and she's like you clean it up for you I'll make my relationship a lot easier

You know how highly lives it get a garden hose up 10 for like this is You ever want to see a Cadillac toilet shiver wait till John comes in the bathroom then you'll see something Start striving away like a Cadillac It's just it's honestly like the little shoe and Roger wrap it before gets put in the dip like Engine light engine light engine light It's like maybe if I flap really quickly he'll go away So Speaking of Fern of terrified furniture. So at least I yeah, well because Bethany shows up to her place

She's like ah, it's so nice. I wish I had my outfit furniture out. I wish I had my outfit furniture. I'm like, it's hiding. It's literally hiding in the bar that you have in the barn with earplugs on, hoping that you'll never come home again. She's back. It's basically, it's like her version of toys, except in her, except in Bethany's version, it's not toys that have a secret life.

It's her furniture and those lit bar signs from Ross. Yeah. Say like bar. Yeah. Please, please leave us alone. Look, say bar, you could say arb. You could say, what?

What, what is my, I don't, I'm at a rondick check, you're moving. I walk away and all the time it's gone. All my furniture's like running away, like, oh, I don't run away. What's the matter? What's going on? I love that Carol all the time it's gone. All my furniture is like running away, like, oh, I don't want to run away. Like, what's the matter? Like, what's going on? I love that Carol can even bring politics into this. She's walking with Carol and she's like, oh, guys, so hot. Fucking Indian summer. And Carol goes, some people call it global warming.

But okay, it was January 3rd. Yeah, no, Carol, yeah, she's, that's like her thing this I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right.

I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure you're right. She's hiding in the closet on the out of our neck, chair. God, please let her leave you alone. So I'm sorry, I totally interrupted you with my third year. I'm literally now thinking of Beverly T. Antelope and Bethany's garage just hoping she's not sad on. She's going to like sing country music in there. So back in the city, Sony, I think it's back in the city. No, I'm sorry,

it's not back in the city. We just learned that Sony has been talking shit about to render in the way and to Bethany. She just can't get past not being invited to the Berkshires. At least she wasn't, at least she didn't call you a pedophile smell wrong. Like no one can let anything go this year. Whatever the lasting they fought about months ago is still what they're going to fight about now. Carol still mad that she was called a pedophile and bad English. You know, everybody's still mad at the same things. It's like a cruise ship of like greatest hits this episode. Yeah, exactly.

So then we go back to the city where Sonia and Tinsley are our packing still and and Sonia telling Tinsley about how she had Talked to the press about Lou and she's like well, you know I was doing a lot of interviews for my off Broadway play. You remember it was called I think it was called a Pothole, you know, it's a it's a stirring story about a woman who drives over a pot hole. It's getting tired. It's great. It's great stuff, a great play written by Edward Balbi, not to be confused about Albi. Anyway, I'm going to drop her a pot hole. Now, how does that affect her vagina? Let us, let us discover three acts with fans. No, I mean, like literally I'm holding

fans over my vagina while I do my monologue. The fans just wanted to know, okay? So she's giving all these interviews to the press and she's like, I couldn't help it. All I said is that I would stick up for everybody over their terrible men and since he's like, you know, I found that sometimes in friendships, it's not that friends really want your opinion. They just want to feel supported. And she's like, you know, I found that sometimes in friendships, it's not that friends really want your opinion, they just want to feel supported. And she's like, yeah, yeah, well, that's what I'm gonna do then. I'm gonna support my friends.

You can't, you can't impress a newspaper, Sonya. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's bad when even Tinsley who's been here for like one second is already telling you, yeah, you need to get over this. I'm sick of it. Look, my hair is flattening. I'm losing my signature look. Yeah. When you're invited to a party and you realize that your date is like carry you know from prom. It's like oh god I'm gonna get covered in blood just from walking in with this bitch. Yeah. So then we go back to the

Hamptons where Luann's presenting launch. And she's like, these are tacos. They're so good. I heard about these first when I was in a Puntacana, Mexico. Puntacana, the state of Mexico and the country of Colombia. I can't wait to regular Americans hear about these. They can be all the sensation. Columbia. I can't wait to regular Americans hear about these. There can be all this sensation. I think I'm thinking about brandings of my own called Luan's talkers. I think they could be very authentic. The real thing is just going to be basically

lettuce. Her daughter's there. And she says, Oh, can you believe it? She's about to be 22. She's already done a new shot and had five duis. my little piece So proud of her here do you want to have one of these Mexican sandwiches? By the way, Luana is fully losing her voice. She can barely croak out any sound. She needs to lay up those cigarettes She needs to lay off everything in the ear throat nose section Yeah of her body

So she's telling her kid who really does not give a shit. She's like, anyway, Victoria, Sonya had a mad hatter party party. And to read this like, oh, yeah, I wasn't in Violin. I really care because everyone else wasn't Violin. Oh, I'm really going crazy. Look, I got nothing better to do. Oh, I can't so much. Well, then why have you talked about it every scene that you've been on for the season? Yeah, calm down. Exactly. Exactly. And then she starts to basically say, suggest that Sonia for all her talk about being sober is definitely not sober. It's like, well, obviously, it's Sonia. Well, but you know, this is Dorinda saying it. So yeah, it's like her encore is like, who's more drunk? Yeah, her evidence is basically a picture of

Sonia being hummed by a stripper at Luann's, uh, bridal shower, bachelor at party, whatever it is, which is kind of funny because I know the the star of that picture was Sonia with this stripper on top of her. But what I liked was that Luanne was sitting off to the side with like a wand. And she was just like, she was, there were so many pictures that when they scrolled through it became like a little flip book. And Luanne was basically just like waving her wand

at Sonia in the stripper. I was like, I wish we were there. Yeah, and that's her evidence of her just being a drunk match. She's a cute little Polly, a Polly, a bridal shower of all plagues. It's getting humped by a drunk man. She's a huge little party. A party, a bridal shower of all pledges, getting humped by a stripper. He believed that. Yes, Miranda, that's what happens at those, okay? Yeah, yeah, exactly. So these don't tell me she drank out of a penis

straw or we will have to put her in a hospital someplace. Yeah. And she says, she's jealous. She says, jealous is like content. Such a weird way to say it. Yeah. And lacking sustain a relationship. Yeah, everybody's jealous of your relationship with John. The whole town to Twitter. Yes, we all wish we could have a skinny, dry cleaner as our boyfriends.

A killer with kindness. And the one goes, as a lady does. Yeah. I think as we see in next week's episode, that kindness gets a little, her version of kindness is a little different than the norm, I would say. Yeah, so stab a bitch. She even says nothing. Yes, she didn't invite me.

I'll bring a hatchet. As a lady does. As as as elegant people do, which is the way I'm live from last season, if any of the ladies here can learn to behave themselves, they might learn about the exotic taco. Why can't we all be like the Mexicans, making these beautiful tortilla things and putting things in the tortillas and everything go existing all the flavors? Corn smashed into a circle of bread? Why I never.

And look at this chunky ketchup they put on it. Salsa, no wonder you call it that. It's like the dance. Good job, Mexico. You do such wonderful things. And what do you call this? It's called guac bol. Seems a little strange. I don't know if I'll have that. So Sonia over at Sonia and Tinsley, Art, why is, what are they talking about? Where she? I don't think you should really be an ambassador. Yeah, she goes, you give, you give me such great advice. You really should be an ambassador. I'm just imagine which country should be a good ambassador for a quam

bringing, bringing curls to all the, all these small islands of the Pacific. The world has changed when a woman learns what a curling iron is. Giving signature looks to all the people of the world. This cast is changing the world. One curling iron and an order of tacos at a time. So many cultural exports. So now Sonia is terrified because she's been shit talking all year and she has to see these people now. So she's like, oh all year and she has to see these people now

So she's like, oh Durinda's gonna be at Ramones and I'm not nervous. I'm not nervous. I'll just be like Hi Durinda. Hi It's like that's a really good plan You're gonna probably have to come up with something for after that though. Yeah Yeah, what's the next step? She says I really regret not having to rent at my tea party, because two wrongs don't make a right. Yeah.

Well, and then at which point she then proceeds to show off her panties. Enough talk about this. Here are my panties. And Tumsley is like, what the hell? Those things are huge. And she's like, they're to your, they're to your. She's like, I don't care who those are from. They're enormous, but those away.

They look like two stitched fancy napkins. They really do. Am I hoarding? And she goes, what are these? The kind of underwear that people wear today. Tins. And she pulls out another huge pair, but they're polka dotted. She goes, no, one day you're not getting laid. You're probably wearing underwear like this, right tins?

She's like, no, please put those away. I just want to be on this show. Please stop making it so hard. She didn't know she was going to have to go through the whole wipe-out set just to get to one party on this show. Pertuncely. I know. He's going through her hazing right now, which is he has to sit there and endure all the all the crap that's in Sonya's townhouse. Yeah, Sonya's like, uh oh, here comes a big giant inflated penis. Hold on for dear life. You're covered in Vaseline. I'm rooting for you, Tim's.

Yeah, please let me just get the dinner. Please, I've seen too many dead cats today. So Bethany and Carol are talking about this dinner and everyone's basically terrified to go to this dinner. I don't think anyone's really seen each other since the reunion. Yeah, and Caroline is feeling election malaise. Yeah, she's, yeah, she's feeling stress about the election, which is three days away and she's gonna be having an election party,

but Ramona's not going because basically, Carol says, well, Ramona's not really that interested in the election, which AKA Ramona's voting for Trump and doesn't wanna be around a whole bunch of crying liberals. Yeah, pretty much. It's what I'm sure yet, whether she's been disinvited or whether she was invited and Carol's not really saying yet.

She's just saying, you know, she's not and she's like most people. She's not interested in politics, you know, and she doesn't know anything about it like most of the world. I think she called Hillary a criminal. Yeah, which is always the person you want at your election party in a room full of like really rich New York rules. Yeah, I think I think basically Carolyn Vita Ramona, but then like as a courtesy, but then did not follow up, you know, she's doing that thing like, well, if she comes, she comes, but I'm not going out my way to remind her that this party's happening, you know, she's doing that thing like, well, if she comes, she comes, but I'm not going out my way to remind her that this party's happening, you know, like seriously,

every conversation leads to the election. Like, you'll be talking about flowers and she'd be like, the flowers on the white house. I'm like, seriously, Carol enough. Seriously, Carol, you have to learn the art of like making every conversation turn back to skinny girl. Literally, like, I can't. Now, I'm a election. Well, so you can turn it back to an election or her vagina because Bethany's like, you

could use a day drink. Like, seriously, you need a drink in the day or fuck I don't even care like a day fuck maybe and Carol says that's what Adam says literally my boss up I'm putting my wallet I don't like built that wall like I'm voting for Trump just because he's building a wall around me so I'm not supposed to bad animal like I don't really't. Can Max Scope just build a wall around me? I'll pay for that. I don't care. Okay, like the way I do these crazy things

on a rane scrubs calls and tacos, like I don't know, like what are these things? Like is it like, is it like a bread? Like is it like, is it like, is it like, is it like soft, like a, I can't. I'm gonna find that how that tins girl gets a hair curl. I might have like literally an explode over the wall. Like I can't.

Literally like like like so many things, like honestly like salsa verde, like I don't know that like what it's like green dancing, like I can't. Literally like like like so many things like on to like salsa verde like I don't know that like what it's like green dancing like I don't know. So Luann is out on the dock of her her little tiny house with Daring Ben. She's like isn't this nice to have a dock. You just walk out of your house and boom it's a dock. And a yeah. Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Daring Yeah, during the mean during the meanwhile has some crazy furry thing on I mean she looked like a love child of big food and like fantastic Mr. Fox. Hey, I was Fox Sally was fantastic because Shally's mom wore.

That's what that Fox kiss for talking about me on the Facebook. So they're trying to figure out how to get the boat untied and it's hilarious during this like well I can get put the rope like this and Lewans just sitting on the boat like no Durrindah. No, that's not how you do it. I'm not getting paid for this How many just listen to me already otherwise I'm not gonna introduce you to this wonderful new thing called bodhitas We got the yacht. Trying to dance her dance like a little tiny fishing boat. Yeah, so they're like boating around and you know there's anxiety about like what happens if Sonia acts up to Durinda at Ramon as party and I like the man's like well I always stick up in my house guess.

Which is also kind of a dig because Dorendit didn't stick up for her last year in the Berkshire's. You see these women never let anything go. And the kid is on the boat with them of Victoria, right? She's on the boat with them and she goes, oh, mom, yeah, because you're a count, I mean a daggustino. Whoa, I just realized that you're not gonna be a countess

anymore, which you gotta love that her kids also always kind of stabbing her to from the front. And she goes, Oh, you just realized it well, you know what I always say. Once a countess always a countess. Nope. No, that's not how we're sorry. I mean, no one's taking away account chocolate title. Why is it that men always get to keep their title no matter who they marry? So then Bethany and Carol go to get some acupuncture and their acupuncturist is definitely not Dr. Moon. It was the waspiest acupuncturists I've ever seen. This waspy puncture. Yeah, it's like look. I have a velvet dog in the corner. Yeah Ladies, which is like a martini before we guys are out with our acupuncture. What are those dogs?

Got the whimeriner. Those are such beautiful dogs. He's like say hello to Betsy in the corner. Betsy's like oh Jesus This queen just bought me because I'm velvety and smooth This is called a whimeriner. Yeah whimeriner Whimeriner. I know it doesn't sound as fancy as it is, but damn those dogs are beautiful Why my dogs are like the topper of dogs. Oh these guys are always being photo. Oh, they well, they're You know what they're the top of dogs. I thought like they're always being photographed. They're like a gray hand body but with a... they look like a different type of dog. Like there's that one dog that that one photographer always takes pictures of. And this one looks

like it but it's not. It looks like they look like Vichlas, Hungarian Vichlas kind of. They're a tan colored but they have longer noses and these dogs... these wine runners have like really pretty pit bull eyes like very light colored eyes but they're usually great they're always gray I think aren't they yeah it's like my dog bark now in the eyes of Paul Hollywood it's called your dog park knowledge okay everybody I know everybody is super impressed So they're at the acupuncturist and it's like the least relaxing session of his week Come in and Bethany's like yeah, mom acupuncture you know seriously in a more Eastern medicine western any day Like I do yoga for 25 years like I have secret faux spirituality like seriously what I want you to do

It's like poke me here poke me there make it hurt. I can't even I can't even I'm so stressed I feel so good but it hurts and it hurt so good just keep doing it no right there because that's where we're going is right there right in that nerve shut up yeah those needles need acupuncture those what do the needles the needles in the acupuncture they're like damn we're so stressed they're like curling up and jumping out what's the matter sometimes I just like you know sometimes I just roll around Damn, we're so stressed. They're like curling up and jumping out. What's the matter? Sometimes I just roll around and pine needles

just to get close to this. Literally, I can't. Honestly, if I don't have any more needles in me, I don't know, I'm just gonna cry. Honestly, I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a I I to say how much is like 3 a.m. Like what's going on the Meridian's? What's the matter? What's the matter? What's the matter? What's the matter? What's the matter?

What's the matter? What's the matter? So they're both getting it on different tables. And she tells Carol. Carol, did they find it? Because like when they find it with the needle, it's literally like someone finding a G spot. And Carol goes, ah, I think he just found it.

Oh, God. I could just imagine Bethany when someone finds her G spots like, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. OK, what's going on? All right, you found it. OK, like what do you want to do? Like we do. What do you want?

Like an award? Like I want to, like, ow. That's it. It's fine. OK. Like, what's going on? What's next? I like ping. Because when you feel pain, you know, something's happening, you know,

like I heard right now and that's how I know he's doing his job. Ow, ow, ow, ow, okay. Like I did this, life's been. You know, long kiss, goodnight. So then like the, the guy's looking at Carol's tongue at, because it'll show whatever and Carol's like, I think you're tongue until a lot about you because it's always talking and I was like, you're so stupid and I'm also laughing. And your time is also like solid white, which means you're lying. That's what it means. Yes, I've learned that in first grade and I'm sticking with it. Yeah, and the doctor told her she's like I was like, what is that and he says I think you have liver stagnation and you're stressed

Yeah, also I have this toe fungus. Do you know what that is? She's like Jesus Jesus Christ, Carol. Why don't you just show him your molars, huh? Just show him your bottom teeth. Like, what the hell? He's not here to do fungus. What do you tell Adam about your fungus? And she's like, he doesn't get grossed out by stuff like that.

Like literally, like, he's not a shrubbitist, okay? Like he's like an acupuncture. Like, that's two different things. Like, I can't, I can't. I can't. You don't have like, medical degrees, okay? But that's fine. Like, I don't see, like, if you want to see, like, your toe fungus, you know, you know, it's gonna grow on my toe? Okay medical degrees. Okay, but that's not like I don't see like if you want to see like your toe fungus

You know, you know, it's gonna grow on my toe. Okay anxiety. I'll say like I'm like nervous right now I got a wall from my toe. I got toe wall So Carol is telling this Bethany's Secretly in a quiet how she doesn't like to share bad I know that her ex has been hurting her. Yeah, she's really quiet about her secret No one would have guessed it That Bethany is so private

That's what I always think every time I see her peeing on camera. I think wow She's so restrained and keeps so much from us. Beth and he's like, yeah, I got so much personal stress. I'm not like I was last year, where I was like, but like a lot of stress. And a man's stress stress, I'll do what he thinks. Like beat me, Tommy, Fed me. I don't care. Run over me, punch me.

You know, throw me into a river, run me over with the train. I don't care. Like anything. And then he's doing cupping on her. And he goes, I don't want you to look to beaten up. And she goes, ah, I don't care. This is a group of beat up women. Trust me.

Yeah. It's true. Whatever Luand did last night beat her up more than anything you can do to beat me. And did you find it also somehow unpleasant when he put the cup on her and you just washed her skin rise up into it? I was like, ooh, yeah, that's how it is. So gross. I know, but for some reason Bethany's skin was, it was just, it was a, I don't know.

He just gave me, I had a reaction. My skin did the same thing without a cup. And then the boat, then it just cuts to one second back on the boat and the way I was going, we're so lucky. The thing that comes back about me. I'm so happy. And so, Bethany's like, do you think Lou Ann's gonna say anything about Miami at the top thing,

like maybe that other time, but that time that I stole a hair, like whatever, seriously, can't with her. Like, I'm not stressed about it. I just can't with her. And then, you know, we basically, we basically have another clip of them being afraid of what's going to come up from last year. And Carol goes, if I know Lewann, she's just going to keep it moving. She doesn't want to face a real conversation. She's going to do a Jedi mind sweep.

I can't imagine, Lewand, as you're... Oh, welcome you are to Home My Clean Your Ass is after Cadillac. I can't imagine Lewand as you're... I can't imagine Lewand as you're... Oh, welcome you are to Home My Clean Your Ass is after Cadillac. I can't imagine Lewand as you're... Oh, welcome you are to Home My Clean Your Ass is after Cadillac. I can't imagine Lewand as you're... Oh, welcome you are to home my clean your asses

after Cadillac of toilets sat on you as elegant Jedi's due Tacos you are welcome for I mean I'm all for the force being with you but you didn't even ask about my wedding I wish I knew actual Yoda crotes does Yoda even have crotes or he just says things scrambled so you have famous crotes it's basically Carol Carol before she went lower toned. I feel like honestly. Let's just be honest. Let's be honest. Okay. Luanne's basically Darth Vader. And I'm not

because she's evil, but I think she would just be more the type to walk around the giant black cape Have you seen my dad star? It's wonderful. You have to come out to it. There's plenty of room for you And I always take care of my stormtroopers Victoria I am your mother I'm trying to pull up Yoda quotes. Met and it's taking forever. I know. Hell Yoda quotes. Dot met.

Get a faster server. We're trying to do it. So here. This is our one moment to pull in a Star Wars audience to watch our crap. And we need you right now. In a house, the Hamptons, far, far ago. Except every scene is that one in that crazy bar where there's all the alien faces

because of all the plastic surgery. It's always like, Tom, Tom, Tom. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed, Carol. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force. And Bethany.

And Bethany, tacos you are. Like what? Seriously? Ramona, I find your lack of faith disturbing. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident

not-so- so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm still fucking loading. Oh, I'm, I found some Darth Vader quotes. I'm just going. Fear is the path to the dark dark side fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering suffering leads to Donald Trump. But you have failed me for the last time Ramona.

I can't believe it. That is why you fail. But. They're actually are not a lot of good Darth Vader quotes. I have to say powerful. You have become the dark side. I sent in you. But. Dorenda, you were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister. You were right. This is the worst quote ever. Patience you must have my young panowad. Well, if this is a consul ship, where is the ambassador? Am I right? Tommy June?

Where's the ambassador am I right? Tommy June. Okay, so we're at this restaurant now and there's clown violins playing. So we know some shamanigans are about to happen. It's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, They're violin clown music is Bethany and Carol arrive. Yeah, and I just want to say that we then have like a Full-on fight in this episode for the next like 15 minutes and never does the music even try to get tense It's like boom boom boom boom during the entire fight Because this fight really is stupid. It's kind of the warm-up fight, you know So first I was all together and they're like all right. Let's fight. I don't I don't even care what it's about like seriously I don't even care. I's about. Like seriously, I don't even care. I was, I just want to say macro note, I was cracking up and, you know, there was someone posted, there was a, an article I think in radar online that said, um, let's face it.

This season's not going to be good because like they said, an insider told us that real hassles of New York City is going to be bad this year year because of XY and Z, and they're just trying to cobble together a season. And remember, we're like, well, there's never been a bad season of Real Host of New York City. And watching this scene reminded me why that is, because this entire fight was so bad, it's so stupid. Like, you had to be cracking up and like,

thanking the reality TV gods that they created this show, because it, it sure nothing is happening but it is the funniest shit on Bravo and these people will make an effort you know they do they do it's like okay here we are to restaurant okay we're gonna fight about something I'm sorry like I'm so sorry that he's so mad but let's face it I don't give a death I don't give a death my right yeah so Bethany and Carol show up and they are greeted by the restaurant's owner.

And immediately Bethany goes, oh, the man will be blowing this guy by midnight. So nasty. So funny. And that poor guy, she's like, ah, are you the owner of the other one? Because we went to the other one. Like we were just there, we shut it down.

And so I was like, oh yeah, we're gonna come here. So I was the one who said let's come here and he's like uh-huh He just walks away. He walks like he had a dude. Uh-huh thanks Yeah He's like I'm gonna walk away before you force me to put skinny girl margaritas everywhere. Yeah and Carol cuz Wasn't that the same guy who went into the fake business with Ramona that fake restaurant called AOA fake. Oh, and back because this guy's been wrapped in shape better, not gasoline.

It's hilarious. I was surprised that Bethany did not have a fit over the fact that this restaurant was called Little Red. That's going to go red. It's getting already. I'll see. She a brand. She's like a cheater brand restaurant.

Like I'll see like I can't. Talk about the red line. Like you're right on the red line if stealing my brand. Yeah. So Ramona arrives. She's like, Hi, hi, and Beth think is, how are you? Is it fun? And Ramona, I just got back from visiting Avery for her summer spring formal. And let me tell you, those kids love me like they consider me the mother. Yeah, they said they consider me more of a friend than a mother. Oh, which is classic like, you know, midlife crisis lady talk. Um, the cool mom, okay, like, anybody ever had a bracelet that looks like a stick, but then you slap onto your breast and it becomes a bracelet. Well, those kids have them now, okay.

But then you slap onto your brisket and it becomes a bracelet. Well those kids have them now, okay? Wow, I can't do her laugh. I'm doing these are in a I just like that when she showed up Bethany is respond you sort of set it, but Bethany just goes how was it? It's fun. How was it? Just like are you the new interns? Hey, how was it? How was it? How was it? I just yeah, I had to note that because that becomes a big thing later. They're like you never even ask us about us How about that? How was your trip? Yeah, and so that's the first moment of the insurance. Yeah, since we're not asking. What's the matter? What's the matter? How was it?

What's the matter? What's your new, her new intern? How was it? How was it? How was it? How's it going? What's the matter? What's the matter? What's happening? All staff like pals out of a minibam. What can we do, Bethany? You look great. You look great, Bethany. So Ramona whips out her cell phone. She's like, look, look at these pics I took. Sorry, I'm sorry. Look at these pics I took. Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look at these pics I took. Me and Pafry, okay? And she's showing pictures and Vethi goes, oh wow, look at that.

And Carol says, you look like sisters. And she says, don't we look beautiful? And they're like, yeah, yeah. And Vethi, she goes, don't you think we look beautiful? She says, I do, I do. I do, what, I do say alright fine Fine be like that. I just want you to know that this picture is so nice. It's been put on an Instagram. Okay Not everyone gets on there. Carol says I said you look like sisters beautiful sisters. Did you say beautiful sisters? Beautiful sisters? Did you say beautiful sisters?

I don't think so. Ha, let's face it, when you say we look like sisters, I don't know for like sisters, like beautiful sisters, like Gigi and other Gigi indeed, or like Hocus Pocus sisters, okay? And which part of mine, sorry. Hey, am I the girl from Sex in the City or the girl from Veronica's Cloth? Okay?

Like, you got to be more specific. I'm not sure what to be mad at. Okay? Let's face it, I still don't know if I'm a Tia or it's a Mara. Okay? If it was Sister, Sister, which Black Girl am I? Okay? The single or the other one? Or am I the fat one that was in soap dish okay so

Luan and Durrinda walk in and they're like oh and Ramona is like oh the wind I was about to order some pino nuah do you want to do you like Pino Nu-Wah? Like, surely you've heard the word Pino Nu-Wah, Ramona. Certainly. I mean, I'm not sure if it goes along with tacos. You've heard about those new food. Don't tell your friends. I'm keeping it private for now. I don't want Bethany to take this idea and then not give me credit again. You know how these ideas fill in the Hamptons. Before you know what Bethany's gonna make Tacos and they're all gonna have mom soccer hair.

Did you know a taco could be made with soft shells or hard shells? They're like, raps. The power of a taco. So anyway, then D'Ariinda and Carol start talking about the election. I like D'Ariinda weighing in, she's like, it's scary, you know, it's stressful. I don't know, I can, you know, some of the elections, stop and...

I've been sending Carol updates because I know she's very into it. I'm sending her updates. It's very close. So Bethany's like, so, no, Anne, has he had on? She goes, oh, the addition, the addition of my home. Well, it's great, Bethany, it's great. Oh, you can see it at breakfast Monday

because I'm having that. So come. I'm going to be serving at breakfast. Well, I don't really want wanna say what sort of breakfast thing I'm serving you, but let's just say, it's gonna blow your mind, it's called a taco, damn it. Don't tell your friends, I don't wanna getting out before Monday.

So, then Bethany kinda starts, she's like, Sir Ramona, hey, you coming to say that the election party, hey, there's an election party, you're gonna come back, huh, huh, huh, huh. Everyone's like, I need to discuss it. Cause twice, everybody, like that girl Carol has been like beating me over the head with that. And I don't know if I'm safe.

And then I think is this one we come back to Durrinden Carol talking about politics and Durrindon's like if I wake up I Wednesday morning and he's in the White House. I'm gonna say Hannah Go strip right now because I'm a massage speaker in my house and you have a chance of Hannah So you make no effort anymore Hannah, okay? If you got a couch, she's gonna take three weeks give a guy a blowjob Take off. I get close and lay, the floor to this little living. There's no reason even a little bit more Anna. Okay.

So I bet any tells Ramona she goes, Yeah, well Carol doesn't want anyone there who's not informed. So, definitely was kind of fucking with them first. And Ramona, if it goes, Oh, I'm not informed, really? Because I'm a very informed person, okay? Like, how about I come to this party And I'll bring all of the articles I read. Okay, here's the thing because information, okay?

Like look at these breadsticks. Okay, are they All these breadsticks brown or the camel? Okay, you know, everyone has their own interpretation Okay, pinon war or Pino new ah No, that's face it. There's no way to ever know what color these breadsticks are okay So how can we elect a president in an a era when we don't even know what breadsticks look like okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Everyone has their own interpretations of facts okay I don't even eat breadsticks like that's disgusting what are you gonna have bread on the table like what are they trying to kill me I'm sorry I'm sorry they're very delicious okay okay the wangos well like Obama says you go low and I go high ring around the rosy pumpkin pie no one said that she's

so inspiring I wish I could have her in my house that way I could have her back runa says yeah who's going low and who's going high because if you look at these breadsticks one is lower than the other one does that mean it's stupid or unenformed I don't know they're both breadsticks okay it's like when you go on the George Washington bridge you can go on the upper level or the lower level like how do you know which one to take when you go low sometimes I wind up high after all okay sorry I'm sorry does that mean I'm smarter than you I don't know bring out your articles so well So well, this is crazy. Carol goes. My party is bipartisan kind of party is not bipartisan. Yeah, it's bipartisan as long as both parties or

Democrats. Pinta. Hey, I got an idea, Carol. Let's play Pinta email on the criminal guy. Hey, Carol, can I bring some breadsticks to your bipartisan party? Maybe we'll have some of the brown party and some of the camel party. Okay. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right.

I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. would chuck chuck, would chuck, could chuck what? A would chuck would chuck all the work could chuck if would chuck, could chuck what?

How's that information? Okay. Now who's stupid? Now who's stupid, stupid? Whoa, this is crazy. This reminds me of when I was a little girl and I had some breadsticks, okay? There was some Stella Dora breadsticks

and I was eating them and Jeldian Parsonsmith said, don't eat those breadsticks, they're gonna make you fat. Even though you already are kind of a fat little girl, little girl. And to this day, I've never been able to look at a breadstick, which is why I don't know what color they are. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Wentai, a breadstick sent me an email about private information

from the army and it went to jail. So why shouldn't Hillary, okay? One time, I decided I was going to find it all sorts of stuff about breadsticks and I kept it all in a private server and apparently that's a big deal. I'm sorry but you know what? Breadsticks, that's dangerous information and if you're going to have breadstick information on private server I don't know if you should be present, okay? How can servers be private and still make tips? Like if this server was just here for Hillary

and she only ate here one time a month, how would that server make any tips, okay? There's no such thing, the all public service, server, can I get some Pino new, ah? Let's face it, if you go to Olive Garden, all they do is serve breadsticks, but you know what? I bet none of them know what color it is. Okay.

I'm sorry. They class say I'm sorry. Pomona's ordering camel breadsticks. So, um, Ramona decides that, you know, she's had enough small talk. She's like, we ordered appetizers. Let's start a fight. So she's like, she's like, Beth and she's like, we're on episode three. We should start fighting now.

So I've showed off my new eyes and talked about Avery time for a fight. So Beth and your kid is like a little kid. Right? Like a little kid. She's still a little kid. Beth and he's like, yeah, yeah, she's six. So she's in private school, right? Actually, she's six years old and she's in public school and I couldn't be happier with it. She's like, oh, well, that's good because one time, you know, if Avery was in private school, you know, the past resurfaced, you know? And maybe one of my friends could have showed her a pick of maybe the past, you know, like naked pictures, you know, so that's the example. So, for example, in public school, has anybody come up to the brain and approach him with anything, you know, because you're in the press right now with your soft porn. Being naked and stuff, has anyone

to push your daughter? I bet he's like And Beth and he's like, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I approached my daughter. She's like, really? Yeah, really? Diane Sawyer came and found my daughter and asked her, like, what do you think about your mom being important? What do you think? She came up to her in the school, yeah. She was like, yeah, your mom's a porn stop. What do you think? Beth and he goes, I bet he's like, yeah, I was in a movie like, like, what, what, what am I supposed to do about it? Like, okay, it's kind of like hilarious. Like, that was was like a moment when Bethany's attitude was just like perfect I know like what am I supposed to do about it like I was in a movie like I was playing criminal

I was like my my my shirt up like what am I supposed to do that like the friends of the previous? You know, you know, my boobs were big, you know, so I was really happy with it like I had big boobs like big Banzungas, you know what I'm saying? I hope someone chose Brent about it. That means I'll get residuals. Literally, I can't. And the one goes, so what are you trying to say, Ramona? I'm trying to make it even more clear. And during this, like, Ramona didn't even have time to let his daughter drink.

Jeez. Well, the funny thing is at this point, Luan going into the dinner, Luan still has a bone to pick with Ramona because the last time they came face to face, I believe was in the first episode when they had that, that thing where Ramona was like, well, I hope you and Tom have a lovely marriage

and you put your head down in the sand and stay happy that way. So Luan still met Ramona, but obviously as we see very shortly, there's like an alliance shift because Luan's like, oh, a chance to scold Ramona. Great. Ramona, you obviously as we see very shortly, there's like an alliance shift because Luan's like, oh a chance to school at Ramona Great Ramona you're being rude right now. What are you doing? And so then Ramona starts talking to Luan about like I just thought you would want to know Thought you wanted to know about you know like I'm just asking about her about what's going on in life

I don't understand and so Bethany is like you know Well actually Ramona is like you know she's acting very you know you got two different dogs you need understand. And so Bethany is like, you know, well, actually, Ramona is like, you know, she's acting very, you know, you got two different dogs. You didn't even tell me about Bethany. Yeah. Like, you got two new dogs. You didn't tell me about. So just say I didn't have a conversation with my daughter because she's too young.

Like, why is that so hard? Like, I mean, and she goes, okay, well, I didn't have a conversation with my daughter because she's sex. I don't want to talk about my tits on the movie. Whatever. And your mother's like, well, you know, a 10-year-old could go up to her. Maybe it wouldn't be a six-year-old, but maybe a 10-year-old will come up to her and say, your mom's in porn.

And Bethany's like, okay, okay, fine, then. Okay, I don't know what's going to happen. Your mom is like, and then really? She's like, we can't talk about Hillary. We can't talk about Bethany's pornocubria. And now you're trying to make me look stupid, Bethany. So now she's mad at Bethany for not being on. Yeah, exactly.

She's like, you're getting offensive. And I really don't like it, Bethany. Okay. We had no idea. I like it. I'm just trying to ask, like, what? Which is hilarious. I think it was somewhere around here. I didn't take that note, but I think it. I'm just trying to ask, like, you're like, which is hilarious. I think it was somewhere around here.

I didn't take that note, but I think it was, was it Bethany who said that this is like the Peruvian is like perfect for the Trump era because like, she's the one who will just like turn the whole, everything around on you, you know? No, Carol. She's like, look. My mom is like Donald Trump. But it is kind of hilarious. I mean, she was, Ramona comes in,

fully trying to get her rise out of Bethany. No, and she knows if she brings a grin on camera, Bethany's gonna get mad, and then Bethany's like, yeah, whatever. And so Ramona's now mad at Bethany for not being mad. So good, so that's why she's flying off the handle. And the ring goes, I mean, watching Ramona was almost like slapstick, like a pie in the face a hair pie

A porno hair pie from Bethany right in her face And the Wango's well. We all do things we regret and Bethany goes I don't regret it I wanted to be an actress. I was in a movie. I showed my tits like what's what's the big deal? I don't regret it like I got 9 db. What do you want for me? And her mind is like you are being offensive, okay? Like if I can't tell you what I'm thinking without you attacking me. And then Ramona goes, well you do be rated pornflicks. And that's just that, so...

I mean, I think it's great that you own all your hardcore porn that you do. No, I was just in like a movie. I was like in a bad movie, I was just on the top list. Listen, we've all shoved cucumbers up our hoo-hawn camera, you know? You know, it's not animal abuse if you're fucking a donkey for money and a B-rated porno film, Bethany. I'm behind you, girl. I'm not seriously. That's not even happening. I think it's very brave that you went to Thailand and shot that strange film with the donkey and... ...the palm tree I didn't even do that. I was like I was in Burbank. I took off my top for like one scene Yeah, she goes. Yeah, it's just it was a cheesy movie. I was a murderer. I remember goes a murderer and a bra

That sort of example are you setting for brin when you go off and murder people topless? I mean, I don't even know where to start with I'm not even a pack that It was fake it was fiction. So all I do I ask him it is said Question and it was already out there and while I'm you know, that's all I'm saying and then she gets all like Testy hey Like about these still not mad at all and she goes, Bethany, why are they talking about you? Like, you're not here.

And she's like, why do you want Ramona's talking to Lou? Yeah, and during this, why even kids? Just let them talk about it. She's like, yeah. She's like, I don't even care. Like, I seriously don't even care.

Like, I'm watching it like a movie. And she was. She's just watching them talk about her. Yeah. And then Ramona goes, let's face it. She's being a BI. He's like, oh, that's a nice call back to your BI thing. So then Bethan is like, so like,

what are you guys talking about? Right in front of me? Like, you guys around the room, right here? Right here. Well, I don't think she wanted you to bring up her ex-Porno live. She's embarrassed. But, but it's funny, by the way,

is the queen of talking about people right in front of their face is Bethany. I mean, how many times have we seen her and Carol right in front of someone being like, I like it. It's like a crazy person running. Like it's like watching like a Sunday morning cartoon. Like I don't like it. Like I heard her eyes bulging out and like Bethany, they're right there.

Yeah. They're kind of pulling all the Bethany tricks on Bethany and Bethany just got cupped, you know. So she's like staying calm for the most part. And she goes, why are you talking about me right in front of me? Like, you know, I can hear you. And Luan goes, well, because you're not engaging. She goes, no, I'm not engaging. Like, why in the world would you think that I care what you think?

She's like, that's the point. You don't care about us. Well, the funny thing is, well, so even before that, what's so funny is that, Luann was just listening to Ramona. Ramona was just going off to the one saying, oh, well, I don't think, I think she's annoyed because you know,

you were, Luann was not actually being anti-Bethany, but Bethany was, by starting to be like, why are you guys talking about me, and from, like, talk about me, and from my pace? Maybe I should write an adic at book, huh? Maybe I should, so that's when Luann's like, excuse me. So then I love that like Bethany says Ramona. She's like, what's that face you're making? I just a following. What's that face? What is that face? What is

that face? And then Ramona goes, well, I'm quite upsetting you, okay? I think your attitude is quite unacceptable. And I don't like Kay. So then that's when Carol was like, well, I think that maybe what she was feeling blah, blah, blah. And when I was like, listen, you don't have a daughter. Okay, you're a barren mess. I'm glad you're insulting me because I don't have children. No, I'm just saying that if you've never given life to anything, you know, and you've never been able to get pregnant

because God probably smited you or whatever. Like for whatever reason that you can't have a baby a front somebody to love you enough to give you a baby. You don't understand Carol. You are going to get punched in your face. Yeah. So then remonus goes back to Bethany and it's like you know you're so stupid sometimes you really are. You know you're good at business but you're better at people okay let's face it. You really are. You don't get good at business, but you're better at people. Okay, let's face it. You have to know how to be good with people like me. Ramona, sing up. The goodest person that people you've ever met. Okay. Well, she has a point. You say horrible things about people. So she has a point. Like, uh, yeah, see, because at this point,

Luanne's like, oh, wait a second. Ramona's going after Bethany and Bethany and I hate each other right now. So, oh, I'm gonna be on Ramona's side. Yeah, so this is when Bethany's like, uh, why would you think that I care about what you think? Like, literally, like, why would you care? Why would you think I care? I don't care. It's just that's the point. You don't care about any of us.

You didn't even ask about my wedding. I can have hard money beef, you just to say, oh, by the way, I'm worried about your wedding plan? Actually, she did say, hi, house your add on. But I guess that was like offensive because she didn't call him addition. So ridiculous. And Luma is like, and thank God Ramona, the saint that she is, the wonderful person that she is brought this out in you. She's look, why can't we just speak cordial, huh? We don't have to like each other,

just be cordial. Well, I am. I saw you as Sonya, and I said, hello, Bethany. She was, yeah, and I was cordial back. And then they show the clip where she were, Lueanne's like, oh, I love your hair. She's like, you can't let go of the hair, huh? Can't let go of the hair, huh? And then Lueanne goes, I mean, you're a positively wicked at that party. You can't even take a compliment wicked. How wicked are you? And then Ramona goes, oh yeah, and with that girl Tinsley, you know, you weren't nice to Tinsley just as at high. Yeah, you said, huh, but you're supposed to have a conversation with her like Ramona was so nice to Tinsley. Yeah, Ramona was awful to tinsley, awful to her.

And then Ramona goes, this is a witch over here, okay? And then that's one bet. Somehow this is the line for Bethany, and she's like, okay, I've just been called a witch and we get at the same table and I want that I will not tolerate, so I'm gonna go. So I'm for bitch, she's called a wicked witch. Carol's like, should I come? We all know on skinny witch, not wicket witch. It's like, mama, you stay here.

And you two should work on your next etiquette book together. And then she tells us. Ramona, Ramona pretends to have a friendship with me. So this was bad, okay? This was bad. It's not going to be any, oh, I adore you apologies this time. This was really bad. This was like terrible.

This was like the worst thing to set a habit. It was really bad. This was like terrible. This was like the worst thing to set up. It was really bad. I was called a wicket witch, okay? Yeah, why was this so bad? These ladies are crazy. So because Ramona was using Brynn. I guess, but Ramona goes, oh yeah, well, go home and look up what etiquette means

and then take a crash course, okay okay which be let's face it we're get pd is right there for you to read about witches which yeah look it up on witch a pd okay hey why don't you get a sandwich from which which okay and call it the Bethany early leaving you are padawan called the Bethany. Early leaving you are, Padawan. Nothing is like fuck you guys. So she gets out of there and and as she leaves, Luangos, oh, of course she's leaving. There she goes, she leaves. What about the things she said about me in the past, like in the Hamptons last year, put her on your big girl panties.

Carol's like, well, I gotta run because I'm staying with her. And Ramona blocks her and she goes, nope, before you go, I need a hug. She's like, what go with me? She's, nope, I need a hug. Like a really hard, long hug, okay? I like just trying to wait for the card to pull out. Ramona, so funny. She's like, that wasn't cool.

She goes, that's your opinion. Okay. I'm as educated as you and my opinion counts. I may be the shorter bread stick, but I'm also coming in camel. So at least my bread stick is covered in sesame seeds. Okay. So Carol is like she gets enough gratuitous opinions from her ex So she leaves and we're gonna goes oh good now the three of us have fun Let's go to Sianbaugh bag of tell so the next morning Sonia and Tinsley show up at their at their at the house of Sonia's friend in the Hamptons and

immediately Sonia gets busy humming a bed. Yeah, she's like this bed is tested. Look, look, it's testing she's humming it and it's like oh Jesus please stop. Yeah, so then we go to the winery. Ramona shows up at some winery and she's like a look a person. Last time I saw you was that fabulous wine class and he's like yes girl, come on this way, sister. No, I don't, I just want you to know that even though you're a fabulous gay person, I'm gonna vote against your rights, okay? Sorry, I'm sorry. You should have equal rights as Carol's dook. have equal rights as Carol's dog. You should have equal rights, meaning that you should carry equal at this restaurant. I really like it more than than Sweden low. Okay. I'm

sorry. It's like breadsticks, you know, some breadsticks are just better than other breadsticks. Okay. You're the shorter breadstick. I'm the lone camel breadstick. It's like, wait a minute. I don't think you're using that, right? So, uh, Luan, um, she's telling us, she's waiting for Luan and to read it and she goes, um, the wean was so happy that I started a fight with Bethany that were all the sudden allies and it's so fun. I love being allies with Luan.

So, to read it goes. This plays a beautiful way. We in France and the way it goes. No, not France. It's supposed to be a Tuscan villa. She goes, oh, okay. It's a very Tuscan even. Tuscan. Don't you notice all the tacky embellishments in the design here? It's a Tuscany. At least the American version. I'll tell you one thing Tuscany doesn't know about TACO. Alright, keep it quiet, girls. There's a reason why it's called a TACO and not a TASCO. Well, these women are so crazy.

So, Lueh and Gus, let's talk about last night. Wow. Lueh and Gus were on the same team. I don't know. You know what? I didn't even talk about the actual subject matter. All I was saying was like, what if the press comes to your daughter at school? Like I didn't say anything bad. I'm like, you said what about when your daughter finds out about your donkey shows you

horror? I mean, like, yeah. Yeah, it would have been one thing to be like, so how is like, are these headlines impacting anything in your family and how are you handling it? That's how you say it, not like, so I hear your daughter may have seen your new shots and your porn up, you shot illegally in Chile. So Rolena goes, oh she had to say it's Ramona, it's contained, okay? I took care of it, okay, that's it.

And then I would have said, okay, cause her thing is I'm in open book. I'm in open book, or I give zero F's, or I give zero F's. And during this, it says, that only doesn't like when people point out a crack. A Ramona pointed out a crack. I was like, you ladies are trying to little too hard in episode three.

Yeah, which I embrace. And then Durinda's then Durinda's like, so guess what? I woke up and I had a text from a friend and basically it was a producer. And basically Sonia has been posting in some facebook group that she doesn't want to go to lose tacky wedding and she's making fun of me and john and it's not cool and now i'm gonna kick her ass with kindness i'm gonna be the shit out of so that was the facebook group um the aliens or something which or something, which was for the A-Leans II or something,

which was a bitch sesh. It was like a spin-off private group of bitch sesh and it got really huge and they had all these people on the ground like giving gossip and you know behind the scenes gossip and stuff. And then the actual housewives started becoming members of the group and like talking back and forth you know with all of the people in the group. So that's what Durinda is. I'm pretty assuming that's what it was also.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what she's talking about. So because at first I was like, what Facebook group and then ding, ding. I remember that because it became this big online drama. So she's going on this Facebook group and reading the post that Sonya is making to the other people in the Facebook group about it. I love that. And I love the Ramona goes, I can't believe you got this the day of my dinner party. I'm like, it's called a producer senator. Okay. They're like, we're shooting a dinner party tonight. Here's some ammo. Yeah. So Bethany is at her house with Jim, Jim friendly or whatever his name

is. And she's like, yeah, here I am, Jim, sport and wooden cleaning poop. That's what we do with this house because she's carrying firewood. And then she tries to, basically, she's going off about last night, which is, it's funny that Bethany tried to stay calm about this for a good, solid 10 minutes. But of course, then she turns back into Bethany. And she's like, trying to gotcha, trying to gotcha me and put in my daughter in the same sentence that's low. This is worse than the Brooklyn bridge. It's like it is. This is not worse than the Brooklyn bridge. No, definitely that Brooklyn bridge was iconic. This is just a this is just a drop in the bucket for it's just a

warm up. Okay. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, so the women are still roiling over what Sonya was writing. And, you know, apparently she said, the stuff like, D'Rinda's the biggest liar ever. She wouldn't be caught dead and lose wedding. Sonya wouldn't be caught dead and lose wedding. And that she'll always love her money even though she's being mean. I just love Lou and it goes,

why would she say such a thing? Would you believe it? I was almost going to not invite her to my wedding. I get in Dinda I've got these things from someone I know Okay, someone I know she gets putting it in quotes Pointing off camera like wink wink wink So Sony and Tinsey are getting ready for the party and Tinsey's like, you know, I'm really kind of nervous about this Think this you know, tell me about this during this should I be scared and she goes oh look

Dorenda's wonderful. She only did one bad to me and it was really bad But she knows not what she does which it's still Easter week So we do get another Jesus quote, which you got to love. Like Sonya's Jesus now. And she's like, she doesn't have manners, she doesn't understand. She didn't grow up in Central Pay half the time like I did. You know, to her, Louis Vuitton was probably like

a act in Vegas, you know. And Tim's like, yeah, well, you know, you should probably drop the grudge. And she's like, yeah, I've dropped it. I'm not even thinking about it anymore because if you hold a grudge, that junk will show on your face. Yeah, she starts saying things like, like, oh, well, you know, during the night, we just had a break. That's all just a break. I'm like, no, you were talking shit about her everywhere. I don't want the gr question to show on my face.

Like the play of spaghetti. She's most likely going to throw out it later. So silly. So Luehans like cut to Luehans. She's like, so jealous. Cut to Tinsley. She's like, I'm so nervous. Are they going to hate me? And she's like, well, especially with the shit

I'm talking behind their back. I'm so sorry, Tins. And then that's when we get to Rindus. Yeah, oh, she got a hard on filming guess what I'm getting a hard on back And we're gonna go that's the perfect way to say it. She's getting a hard on for you Speaking of hard on I wonder if that guy that Bethany shot that porn movie got a hard on Hope he doesn't go to the school yard and tell Brennan about it. I just wonder if they know what the definition of a heart on is. Right? I don't think she's got a heart on for me and now I've got a heart on for you for her. I got one for her. Yeah.

Sileness. So now we're at Mona's house. Yeah, the big party. Yeah, we're all those bottles and that thing. And then put some ice in that thing with the bottles in there. Okay, you understand? The maid's like, please leave me alone, lady. You think I don't know how to ice bottles or wine. You stupid bitch. Get out of the kitchen. Yeah.

So Carol shows up. And you know that Carol did not want to be there. She probably wanted to hang with Bethany, but she knows that she has this reputation of being a mean girl now with Bethany. So she's like, so she shows up and Ramona promptly pours her a enormous glass of Jose filled to the tippy top, which is so remote. And basically, Durinda starts talking to Carol and saying, Basically, Durinda starts talking to Carol and saying, telling Durinda tells Carol that she has this weird sketchy friend who basically got an entire file on Sonya.

She's sort of the guy is not a private investigator and he's not with the government. He's just a guy who knows things. Carol's like, that's the week I can get behind. Is it an SA, FBI? What is it an essay FBI what is it okay it's bigger this big he got so many a number this is a file this big sweeping statements so then she says she says I'm this chance that I wouldn't mix synthetic with silk and then she tells us yeah I'm sure it was a synthetic robe leaving Tom's house at 3 a.m. Oh

Durinda really I Like stuff like that where it sounds like a really nasty, you know, this but if you think about it doesn't really make any sense Yeah, it's like a JC penny disc. Oh good think about it doesn't really make any sense. Yeah, it's like a JC Penny disc. Oh, good. Really? So then Carol's excited because she loves talk of leaks because it's so close to the election.

And Dorenda's ready to go. She takes this huge shut out of a glass one and Carol goes, you might want to ease up on that. She goes, although it's only cold, cold. So now I'm not on the martini train. I'm stocking my prey and went position correctly. I'm gonna go for the kill Okay, but position correctly So stupid and then Ramona's like oh my god. Don't ruin my party. I would hate for my party To turn into a huge fight that makes Sony look stupid and she said oh, no

Don't worry. I'm not here to ruin your patty. I'm gonna wait till dinner. Good. Because I would, yeah, well, I just like Ramona be like, I would hate to have my party become a huge fight on TV that everyone will talk about. And I would hate for Sonya to be embarrassed by it. I would really hate for who to be embarrassed. So no one in barris Sonya. No one in barris. So no, That dinner. So, so the episode ends with Sonya intensely arriving and outside Sonya saying,

Well, my mo is not to confront because I have to quorum. That's my plan. I think you're right. You were just humping up Ed, like, you're going to be swallowing your fist like after your second drink. Yeah. And you know, there's a difference between day, quarantine, quarantine. So to be continued, to be continued. Oh, Lord, this crazy show. So that brings us to the end of real housewives of New York tomorrow, we will be back

with Southern charm to end up the week. Jam. Yes. So exciting. What a funny episode. I love Real Housewives New York City. And tomorrow's Southern Charm, that's, that's going to be a fun one to talk about. So until then, have fun telling kids children about your secret pornography career on the Internet. Okay. Okay. Bye. Sounds good. Bye, everyone. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens,

Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.