Watch What Crappens - #439 Southern Charm: Shep & Repeat

Episode Date: April 21, 2017

While Shep romances the ladies (and gets shot down), Craig faces his biggest challenge yet: erecting a step & repeat. Or is it step & release? Either way, he's got his hands full, and so do we with this week's recap of "Southern Charm." Afterwards, it's another edition of Crappens Mailbag (00:51:38). Come listen and enjoy! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crap-ins listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook com slash watch what crap ends and to follow us on social media go to watch our crap and dot com to find all our social media links and for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends.

Hey everyone. Welcome to watch what crap ends a podcast about, welcome to Watch what crap ends. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBLOG.com and the Benta Blender podcast, and joining me is the always wonderful and thoroughly lovely and utterly joyous Ronnie Carrom from trashtalktv.com.

And there was my smasher podcast. Oh, com and there was a bunch of Yeah, hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. How are you doing on this fine day? Good. How's everything going with you, baby? Well, I'm great. I have been sucking down a very tall iced coffee. Um, it sounded very misleading. Uh, today's a Tiago Day. So I am out of my gourd. Tiago is my local coffee shop for newbies. And the big news today is that I actually made the most perfect omelet I've ever made. I feel really excited about it. Welcome grads. Thank be. Because you know our favorite online chef, Chef John, from Food Wishes. You know, remember, he has a recipe up on how to make the perfect omelette.

And I have to tell you, every now and then, these perfect omelette videos come up. And I try to follow them, they never work. Like the New York Times did one a month ago, or they were like, this is the end all be all of how to make a perfect omelette. And bitch, that doesn't work. But chef John's that works. It works crazy.

That guy works with that. He taught me how to cook a lot of things that food wishes guide just search them on YouTube if anybody wants to learn stuff. Yeah. Cause you know, the thing is this, a lot of omelette videos are like, okay, you swirling, you swirling the swirl and it looks like this, just flip the omelette and they do like, and then the omelette's flipped and like, wait, no, I'm an amateur, I don't know how to do that. He walks you through it just right, I can't believe it, it's so good.

Oh omelettes. Yeah, omelettes. Guys, even more exciting than an omelette is that we're doing a live show on May 9th at the improv Our special guests will be Michelle Collins of little talk on lifetime. We love Michelle She's so funny. We're just gonna talk Bravo shit 10 p.m. at the improv May 9th. So everyone marker calendars I'm not sure the ticket stuff is up just yet, but as soon as it's up We'll we'll let you know you should come Hollywood Come, come, we want to drink laughing be many. Yeah, we'll laugh drink and be Mary's okay. Yeah, everybody can Yeah, it sounds like a typical episode of Southern charm

Yeah, previously on Southern charm a cat in a wheelbarrow. I enjoyed that. That's a very happy image for me, Gizmo. So we have like the usual montage of people doing stuff at the beginning of the show and it's like to rap, wearing the sort of glasses that look like they were given out for free at a bar mitzvah by the DJ. Thomas pretending to work in his office.

Yeah. But then it turned out to be all like Capital One calls. It was all Bill calls. And Cooper prank calling him. I hope you have a woman's escorting you into your home office, Thomas. Hello, this is Thirke McThirkesson and I'm calling because I wanted to make sure you have a ladies secretary answering the phones and the fact that a strong man like yourself with a good name like Robin Ellis answering your own phones. It has my concern.

Maybe we should go string up a homosexual like that Cooper. Am I right? Hang up. Here's the true homosexual who's got the manners to say he's not. Call me back Thomas. Thomas is like, all right, fake him, fake, or sing, didn't leave a phone number. He's all saying it to himself in French. One of the things we didn't mention last week is that Thomas was in the mirror. Look, you know, Thomas ever since the show started has been obsessed with

jack scenes where he's like, Oh, God, I'd be naked in a mea. So he'll do these, just got out of the shower, showing off his chest. And I guess he didn't learn, you know, for the last time when his muffin top was spilling over jeans or whatever. So he's still doing them. Yeah. And now he's doing a thing where he's talking in the mirror to himself. Mm-hmm. Sort of in every time. Yeah. It's like sort of his new cold open.

He apparently loves, yeah, yeah, it is Friday. He apparently loves speaking in really bad French, which is kind of hilarious. If the French didn't hate us enough, this week we've got Thomas doing it and even Craig trying it. Yeah. So sorry, France. I don't know if we said this lately, but sorry, France. At least Thomas can get a few words out, Craig.

It's like, oh no, doce trace. Oh, Craig. So the first real scene is Cameron it training. Which else? Which else? Yeah. Now instead of, you know know camera pretending she can't cook she's going to pretend she never exercises which is bullshit like

montage of Cameron doing ten pull-ups and shit like what the hell Cameron yeah I just don't believe she doesn't exercise this is a woman who goes into every rush on saying I'll have the Che To. Thank you. They literally shut her doing pull ups. I mean, in PE class, back in El Paso, the girls didn't even have to do pull ups in the test. They just had to hang there. They had to do the hangs.

I still can't do a pull up. All my life, I've just never been able to do an unassisted pull up. It's like, a lot of times I was in, yeah. When I was in somewhat shape, I could do 11, I think it's the highest time I got up to, and that took me months. I've never been able to, even at the height of my P90X doing a few years ago, I always need a little

chair for my perfect pull-up bar. I have one of those pull-up bars that you put on the door. Yeah. And when I took it off, it made an indent in my wall. It was like, God, you're so fat. took it off, it made an indent in my wall. It was like, God, you're so fat. No, mine did that too. They're like, this is perfectly fine to use. I'm like, no, that shit ruined my door frame. Never can get one of those things again. I'll do a poll of the gym.

Thank you very much. Yeah, not with my weight. So let's see, Cameron, it train. What's up, Jail? So she's with Chale, C. And they're talking about they actually because Cameron's arc the season apparently is that she's going to be the Emma to these two she wants to get she and Chelsea together because she thinks that Chelsea could be the one that will make

a she's down. Basically Cameron I think Cameron's goal because she says she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she have them fall in love with Shep. Well, Chelsea has obviously run out of her runner-up money from Survivor. So here she is talking about how she had a sleepover date with Shep. A sleepover date. But were you naked? No. So Cam's big advice is not to drop her panties for Shep because that's more of a challenge for him. I'm like, oh, that's great. And you know that Chef loves a challenge, just kidding. He certainly does. Like he literally does nothing. He's like, that's hard.

No, he literally loves the real world of road with challenge. That's why he and Cameron get along. So the next scene is Cragon Landon. Cragon Landon, right down Crapper. I don't know why, but Cragon Landon are meeting for lunch, which is great. And this was a great moment in Bravo because we've seen recurring themes before with like vagina waxing, fake babies to test out if you're ready to be a mother. Little did we realize that when Brittany

learned about a shark cuterie was that we were stumbling upon our next great Bravo theme shark cuterie Yeah, because this is now the third time right that we've heard the shark cuterie thing is it so yeah I'm trying to remember the second the top chef was in there in the mix with a shark cuterie Oh, I wouldn't even count that top chef should of course it could happen it could happen Yeah, so Craig and mine are eating and mine it's like Yeah, so Craig and mine are eating and mine it's like Oh, I can't say Sharkootery, like you just said it. Yeah, like

And I love that Sharkootery is also bestowed upon the dumbest people on Bravo like this is braining how it's Craig No, that's great. They're too dumb to get They're too dumb to get a fully formed plate like here We'll give you some scraps of meat instead. It's a must. I feel like that that's a gift that Naomi has given Craig, like, saying Sarkuterie. Yeah.

Well, he can say Sarkuterie, but one thing he can't say is step and repeat, because he and Naomi are doing a fundraiser for a charity called like I Am Me, and I think it's for orphans. I wasn't even sure what it was for. But like, are you sure this isn't a land in projects? I mean, yeah, it's a charity. So basically he keeps on saying that

there's been an event with a step in release. Like fishing. But what I love is that I love what oh, sweet Craig. He's like, I don't like this orphan, throw it back. I love when sweet Craig. He's like, I don't like this orphan. Throw it back. I love when Craig is talking about his life's ambition. And he's like, yeah, I want to be wealthy so I can travel the world and help people. You're like, oh, Craig. Didn't he say I would love to make philanthropy one day?

Yeah, he said something like that. Oh, sorry, said. I would love to make philanthropy my life one day. I'm gonna start something like that. Oh, I would love to make Philanthropy my life one day. I'm going to start with Garpentry first. Now he wants me to play for Craig. I mean, he is always trying to kind of like, he's like the little brother who just sees the big brothers doing something and wants to be like them. So he sees all these wealthy people having philanthropic, you know, functions. And he just wants to be like them, but, you know,

he wants to be kind of like, I don't know, like a Paris Hilton or someone who's on red carpets because they go to all those charity balls worth millions of dollars. But he's really, and someone pointed this out on our Facebook, he's really more like a Leanne from Real Housewives of Dallas, you know, it's like the poor one who's like, hi, I can throw you a party for 10%. But that's like an insult to Leanne though, because at least Leanne has this maniacal drive. Craig's like, yeah, I want to be a philanthropy. So, you know, can someone interested me to fill

in Leanne and yeah, Craig would probably be aentley, but he'd always be too late and keep missing it. Well, it was good to slap that trolley, but you know, I was fixing my hair. He never was good at T-Ball. So, um, he keeps on saying, step and release and even land and's like, oh, bless his heart. Yeah, she says part of being a socialite is giving back and he really wants to bless his heart. What's in the Salonate?

It's written on bitch. Yeah, exactly. So then while they're having Sharki Dury, Naomi is hanging out with Shep and they're just like talking about Craig. And I guess Shep had given Craig a check for the event because it's something to do with Haiti And yeah, she came by to pick up a check and he's like here's that $100 dollars Gores $100. I know and Craig didn't know if Haiti had been hit with an earthquake or a tsunami No, Naomi didn't she said that she said that Craig didn't remember and she laughed at Craig

He's gonna love that I it's actually really cute. I love though. I actually normally I'd be like wow how can't like that's so mean That's like your boyfriend, but I think I think she finds it all very endearing. I mean Which in shepherd just laughing at Craig for not knowing if there'd been an earthquake or a tsunami. She's like, yeah, I've just been really busy, you know, because I have school and I'm running a rancidding sponsors.

And she goes, and Craig's done, goers, goers, goers, goers, goopsies. Goers, goers, goers, goers, goopsies. Ah, goers, goers, goers, goers, goers. And then we cut to lunch with Lennon and Craig. like, gosh, gosh, gosh, let's see. Oh, gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh. And then we cut to lunch with Lannan and Craig. And they're like, ah, then it cuts back. And she goes, yeah, he's having lunch.

Yeah. And then Craig and Lannan are now like bonding over their annoyance with Shep, saying how, yes, always shit on people. And Craig's like, yeah, like like I went to the batting cages and was like the worst thing I've been through since sixth grade on the school bus I'm like did you have to swing a baseball then too? And my dad says you know I think that chef I think he's being a good friend but

he's just being a bully. It's like oh honey, the bully thing. That is not bullying. Yeah. So then we go over to Patricia's house. And the most shocking news of all is that Michael is on vacation. Michael's on vacation. So as you can see, I'm packing glittery things and calf

dance and dangly earrings and make no sense and the bags by myself You can never be over educated or overdressed Oscar Wild You know that Cooper's at home like dammit that should have been my quote Cooper's sitting there fully in tails. He's like, I fully agree. Now, I guess I should work on that educated part. Hopefully, Oscar was in the company of a fine young lady when he wrote that quote.

Uh, here that in Paris, his tombstone is dawned with many lips of women who've come by, and I hope that there's not a single gay man. Who's testing? Then Patricia pulled out another one. She's like, Vanda, from the glorious mouth of Gloria Rubinstein, Silverstein the third. You can never be of a educated.

Oh, what was her next one? Oh no, I don't remember. What was her next saying? She had another saying, hold up. We'll get to it Well the sidewalk ends show so the steam Great eggs in ham Oscar Wilde Gloria Rubenstein. I don't want to pay a lot for that muffler Madis

So her tiny old man child comes home and he's like, mother, mother, you look gorgeous today, mother. He's talking about how the dogs are getting so fat. She has maybe asked it in vents. Thanks for it. I still laugh every time they mention Chonsey. Like I just think it's so funny. She has a little dog named Chaunce Chaunce Chaunce where you going chaunce Such a Tennessee Williams like cab driver name for a dog So next week go to

Oh gosh, this is cruel the producers. I'm convinced the producers played a prank on her They said yeah, gonna go here. They're gonna give you like a makeover and then you can discuss it because she showed up Her hair was a mess. They don't make up to be wearing makeup. Okay, they want your beautiful natural unmade up So someone was fucking with her. I there's just no way. I'm sorry It was so rude so rude Yeah, this was pretty cold. She shows up and there's like a skinny Elaine Boosler working behind the desk and she's like, well, I've been modeling since I was 14 and I've started a family and I want to get back into the mix. You know, the children they're getting older now. I'm'm like they're like nine months old and three

God you don't see that when they're like 17. I like when people on reality says especially guest stars have some kind of Compassion, you know, because this lady though. She's like, huh, Kav three and hi Oh, you want to come back to my oh, okay, come back to my house sit down So do you have the starbucks? Oh, you're not from postmates. Oh, oh you want me to my oh? Okay, well just keep hold on. I'm waiting for postmates She sits you down and when Catherine goes through that whole thing I be modeling since I was 14 Delidikas Good since I was 14. The lady goes, good.

That you came in. That you have many pictures. I was gonna hurt. You got any? And she's like, oh, I have them on my laptop. But, you know, like some of them are all like baby pictures. Catherine.

So the woman's just like, well, you know, now you're in a different bracket. You know, she's my. You're older now. You might want to stop showing the first bath you got in a sink. Bracket. You don't know. Are we playing tennis or something? I like. So that's the answer. This like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so I like so What your babies are cute. Want to do a family shoot. I can get you a deal of the old one meals. I like the ladies' past aggressive advice. Well, here's my advice. Make sure you're in the best shape you want to be in. Make sure that make up is something that you would like to investigate.

Another thing you can do is focus on being as pretty as possible when you show up at my damn office, your bitch. You know, I'd like to give you some friendly advice. Just keep searching until you find some kind of a little base, rub it, a genial comment, and you can wish that you were young enough to be taking pictures of. Okay. Get out.

Just remember, just remember, you cannot ask for more wishes that does not work. And you can't wish for a little bit taller. So we're caudering. And we were just, you know, yesterday or whatever, whatever date, we were talking about Vanderf, yesterday or whatever, whatever date we were talking about Vanderfranc Pruel's new addiction. And this is someone who is legit trying to be sober because she's like, to say I fuck

up is an understatement. And since I've used drugs, I can only see my kids under supervision, arm. And I can't talk to the father. So now that her, you know, now that she's been in trouble, she has to get him to sign for her to do modeling shoots with the family, which is such a fun reality spin to put on things. This is why Porsche has that contract saying, if I have your baby, you have to allow it to be on Instagrams. Because this shit happens, you know? Eventually, you need those little fuckers to make you some money. Yeah.

So then we, speaking of the father, we see Thomas getting dressed and we got to see his pubic region. It was like poking out through the fly. I was like, ugh. He's disturbing. Whenever the guys do those, yeah, I'm just getting out of the show.

I'm so sexy. No, you're not. Okay, you rodent. Put on your fucking clothes, you thirsty ass. Yeah. Why don't want to like the super hot guys who come and come through on Bravo every moment, then why don't they have to do those scenes? They never do them. So like Jackson Thomas. So then Landon comes and visits Thomas at his house and she's like, how are things? And he's like hectic, dealing with the kids and all. I'm like, how are things? And he's like, hectic,

dealing with the kids and all. I'm like, you literally keep them in a different house. Yeah, she goes, where are they? And he said, Montesora School. So you don't do anything basically. Like those kids are like five days old. They're already in Montesora School. Yeah, you treat them like pets.

And he goes, this truth truth to that I was saying behind every great man is a greater woman. And I hope I didn't waste my opportunity with Catherine. Wasted your opportunity. That was a year of your life. You wasted decades. You fucking little user. Yeah. So does this mean that he's just not a great man? Because where's the one behind him? Yeah, no kidding. Capturance of when he wasted her modeling age and her womb on you. Yes. So yeah, landing comes over and she's like, he said, would you like a Coca-Cola?

She's like, Coke is fattening. And he goes, there are other ways to keep your weight down. Would you like a cock tail? Oh, you're 50. Stop. I know, so awful. So she's saying that her feelings have been hurt that people have been saying that she slept with T-Rab or that she wants money.

And so it's just something I have to deal with. I'm so, and then T-Rab or that she wants money. And so, you know, it's just something I have to deal with. And then T-Rab is talking about how he wants a stepmother for his kids. So the producers keep implying that, you know, Landon is going to be the stepmother and that she's in love with him, like her flutter in her eyes. And if this is not true, she's doing herself no favors, because she really does look gobsmacked. And at one point, you know, he's talking about a future step model, whatever.

And she says something to him. And I just cracked up because you know, we always make fun of how she's giggling. The one point she goes, you just want a friend at the other day. She's like a small nervous punctuation. Yeah. She's like, yeah, you know what I'm after? Companion chip. Thomas, like it was a contest left. This is such bullshit.

So first of all, of course, she fuck Thomas. Why the hell would Thomas even be paying attention to landing and saying all this nice stuff about landed? She totally fucked him. Although maybe they can pretend. What do you mean? Well, maybe if he fucked or he probably wouldn't want to deal with it at all. She totally fucked him. Although maybe he's trying to make him pretend. What do you mean? Well, maybe if he fucked her, he probably wouldn't want

to deal with her at all. Well, maybe. I'm just saying, putting that out there, I guess. It's actually a very normal male reaction. But I believe it and they're just trying to get around all this southern rules things. Like people are suggesting I'm a whore. So I'm not sleeping with you, except I'm sleeping with with you now but we'll pretend when we fall in love later. He's obviously boning her like it's not really that

much of a secret at this point. So when then of course this guy's such a pig he's like I just need a young mother from our statue or to be a stepmother so gross. So then she's like, have you seen Catherine? And he said, no, but since she passed a drug test, she's allowed visitation. But now that courts are involved, I'm not concerned with what she thinks about who I'm dating. And Landon's like, yeah, Landon, you are in for the ride of your life. If you start with this, her whole life is going to be Catherine. Yeah, she'll never get away. You think she's just gonna go away, Nope. And then he puts on his sunglasses

and he's like, boom, my power for the, let's don't eat too. Landon just stick with Drew. He's hot, he's mussely, and he like catches big fish. Just stick with Drew. Yeah, make your own mistakes, you know? Have your own babies out of wedlock. Why you need to take someone else's So then meanwhile

Craig and Naomi are at home and they're you know preparing for this fundraiser and Guess what the step-and-repeat still isn't done yet And Naomi is basically saying to Craig, you know, you're gonna get farther in life if you prepare for things He's done during them last minute and he's like, oh, I'm an incredible problem solver. And I'm like, yeah. So like, for instance, when you had to write a paper in school, you just decided to drop out. Problem solves. He's like, I'm great at dealing with stress. And he tells her, it's business, babe. Stop taking it personally. She's like, I'm not. Because, yeah, you got to manage your stress better.

You are her stress! I know. She's trying to manage you. That's why she wants you to have it to deal with. It's a girl. You need to start sharing them. I count. She's like, I'm able to reason any worry out of my brain.

I think we've seen that, Craig. I've reasoned fear out of my brain. Oh, sweet, Craig. I really like Craig so much. He says the dopious things. And so she's like, is this one they get in the car? So now they're driving, I think, to this thing. And she's like, well, I talked to chef.

Oh, it was so fun. We had wine. And it was so great, you know, just talking over a problem like adults. And what does that mean? She's like, oh, you know, just a problem. What problem? Well, you know you like I just told them I understand I you know, I said I understand because what does that mean? It means I understand Craig Mead you're taking his side. Are you standing under something? I don't understand. Oh, I just said it whoa weird

Stop standing under the step and release, all right. We're not gonna catch any orphans this way. I think that Naomi is basically in this relationship for the for the for the lulls. You know, it's too many laps. I mean, look, he's a hot piece of ass and he's got a gorgeous garden. He does and an adorable cat. Yeah, someone posted his garden on Instagram the other day and it's got a gorgeous garden. He does and an adorable cat. Yeah, someone posted his garden on Instagram the other day and it really does look gorgeous. I mean, the man looks like a 90 year old. He's like, he's had 30 years of nothing to do to get that shit done. It takes a lot of work.

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How great is your garden? Stop taking his side, babe. That doesn't even make sense, Greg. I know, but still, it's not cool. So she's like, well, you know, like I just get how he feels, the way he feels, because that's how adults talk. And I guess, yeah, you agree with him. It's like an abused wife.

Like, we're the guy, like makes her think she can't do better, but then she never thinks she can do better. And she goes, what was that even mean? She's like, that is an odd way to put this She's just so confused at this point. I literally I think she's secretly blogging about all the silly shit that Craig does She's just get getting material for her book. Yeah, she doesn't even understand what the fuck he's saying He's like, yeah, you think he's nice. Yeah, what about the other night? He made land and cry. That's not nice And she goes, um, I didn't see any tears

He's like I don't care. Okay Like even if I'm wrong have my back and she's like a great a disagree whatever Just promise me you won't show up to the fundraiser tomorrow dress like a bell hop It's in style separate release So bell hops go Seven release. So the bell hops go. It's like babe so many people are eating bell hops.

Babe, what if I come dress like a nutcracker? No, no, no Craig. Except you'd be like a nut smasher. No Craig is a nutcracker. I just want to wear a regular razor. So at the ball the boys are going out for not out on the town. It's T-Rav Austin, and some guy with a mullet who's never explained. Like never.

This is not just a mullet, okay. This guy is straight up from the pages of the coffee book, People of Walmart. I mean, this is just like a full on 80s bangs, you know, fluffed up claw bangs with a mullet. It was disturbing, but I'd probably fuck him first out of the rest of it. Yeah, he was actually very attractive. He just had this crazy mullet that I almost felt like

with some sort of weird hipster thing that was happening. But it isn't that their friend from last year, because they have a silent friend. And I think this year he just came back with a mullet. He's like, I will get on television. If I have to have a mullet. I know that T-Rab had a silent friend. This sort of like,

Lanky model, dude. But who looked like Orlando Bloom? But I don't know if I've seen this guy before, maybe. I think this is that guy with a mullet and like some kind of a velvet shirt or something. This guy was more butch than the Orlando Bloom guy. He looked like he smelled most be honest. So chef and Austin and Walker with I guess who's Walker with the crazy A. Z. Smell.

Oh, Walker with crazy crazy A. Z. Smell. It has had so they're a Thomas. Yeah, Thomas is talking to some blonde lady. I just wrote Thomas says hi to his slutty neighbor. And then sure enough, they're like, who's the chick, bro? And he says, I met her a year and a half ago. She's my neighbor. And then I'm out of here because she's my neighbor. I was just in the neighborhood. I mean, she's no a lies alarm house, but she'll do. But she sure can take a load and chefs like,

oh, I've heard up with her gores, Thomas Thomas, it's a thoughts across pollination in this town. What cousins by the way? It's the ravenos and the Bayty Blue blobs. And Austin's like the fact that they're related makes the acceptance of this cross-pollination bizarre. So Austin and Trab wind up defending Landon to Shep and then Trab then tells Shep that he thinks that Shep is in love with Landon and Shep like gosh, gosh, yes. And Shut might be because he does treat Landon like, you know,

immature boys in school, too, but they're like, people, my hair. And he's like, he's because he liked you. Sure, I remember when abuse was explained away so easily. Oh, thanks, we miss you. Yeah. Uh, so they, they all wind up going on like a little pub crawl and they're having fun they took fucking yeager shots gross your all-discussed

for net which i don't know if it makes any better but i have not sure i'm like a step above fireball maybe uh... i've never done a so this land in party planning because he's like who's planning to pull up party cars and uh... he said land and she's so smart and intelligent. And he's like, oh yeah, she's great at planning parties. And then she's like that terrible roller skate.

Yeah. It's terrible. That was a turning point for Landon because that was when she invited everyone except for Catherine. And then she lied about it. And ever since then, she's never been able to play it down.

Everyone just thinks she's a liar now. Bad news. origin story of the landed bitch storyline. Exactly. So they're pub crawling and they run into these like 21 year old girls and they're talking to Shep and they're like, who's the old guy? And they just like cut to Whitney and T-Rab, like standing over these girls like, like, you know, I don't know what, what they would be like, like weeping willows or something. With this the bachelor red or whatever. No, this was the girls, so the girls were daisy and bree,

and the girls go up daisy and bree, and Austin goes, Bree, lack the cheese, I love so much. Oh God, so bad. These guys are so cheesy. You know anyone named Yarlsburg by any chance? Hey, I dated a girl named Cheta once and she's no comparison to you. Do you go well on crackers? Yes I know, honey.

I think we'd go goada together. These guys are just so fucking sad. They go to another one. They're like, hello, Gold. Just this is your bachelor at party. And she's like, no, I'm 21 today. Yeah. Yeah.

You want to do a shot? How about a butter and nipple? Just like our love buttery nipples, gorgers. Yeah, I'm an investor. She goes, who's the old guy in Shep's mortified? And he's like, oh, thank God Whitney's at least coming up behind me. He's like, is my mother here?

No, no, no, no. And then I think one of the girls, she broke up with her boyfriend of three years earlier. They're just like praying on her. And Daisy tried to make it out of the shed, but this girl, three cock blocks. And she's like, there's some real man at the bar. He goes, real man.

Oh, he's right. I got to go home and back. I'm not going to miss this plane. Like, poor chef. I think chef thinks that the producers are off talking to 20 year olds. Like call that guy old, but chef, you're wearing dentures. You're literally have black lines where your dentures are glued in. You're old. Okay, stop heading on 20-year-olds. I would say he deserves a black, but I think you already have some. So T-Rav, T-Rav is with Daisy, and once again, Break Hawk blocks. Poor Daisy, she just

wants to get some, and she just wants to be on the show, and Daisy keeps getting in the way. Let the lady have some nookie. Yeah, that curls a hoe. Yeah, she's all over Thomas next. He's kissing into her next and all this shit. And uh, uh, what is this? Austin, Austin's like all those fear in love and war. You're you're gonna war over a girl named Daisy. I was trying to fight both chef and Thomas. It's like the most useless war ever. It's like going to war over like Kentucky. It's going to war over that. But you know what I always say when people go to war, I remain neutral like Swiss. Whoops, just got a bono. Can I take a five? Oh, I didn't want to put any girls. I feel a little blue.

Right now. Oh God. So over at Naomi and Craig's are getting ready for the big night, the big charity night two hours before the fundraiser. Yes. Naomi goes, Greg, where's the step in a repeat? He's like, what is that? Are you messing with me? He's got it. It's out in the car. They roll it out and it says, you know, it's just the logo. I'm me. I'm me. I'm me. I'm me. Which is, I'm sorry, but that's like the dumbest charity. I wasn't sure there was actually even a sponsor on it. But what I loved was, you know, he rolls it over the living room floor. He's like, oh, wait, you got to see

the top is she's like, um, it's just the same thing. I'm pretty sure I could figure it out. He's like, no,, you gotta see the top is she's like, um, it's just the same thing. I'm pretty sure I could figure it out. He's like, no, we gotta see the whole thing. She's like, great. Um, so now I need help with this and that. And he's like, whoa, stop stressing me. I just brought the step and release home. Yeah. Can you just do this very simple act of printing these paper?

Can you just make some copies of this? Just print it. This is all you have to do. You have one job now. Oh yeah, fine. Sure, yeah, yeah. Uh oh. The Wi-Fi is not ready.

It's like, oh, good. And then you guys, this is why you do things in advance. You know that one of the producers totally took out some component of that printer. Like, took out a microchipip like the nuns and sound of music Well, it's just Craig. They really just had to unplug it. Yeah Don't even have to get that deep. Yeah So then of course he starts trying to turn the blame. He's like babe remember when I gave you that mouse to borrow She's like Craig you gave me an actual mouse. I'm supposed to be for Gizmo.

He's like, all right, well, I'll be here working on the printer. Oh, hi, Gizmo. What's going on, bro? You want to go play some golf, Gizmo? Okay. Gizmo, want to trip around my garden. All right. Well, I guess what gives me what gives me a wants because no gets. Like has an efficient a barrel off the wild. Set it and forget it.

I forget who said that one though. What rain wild. So Cameron goes to Whitney's to pick him up. And of course, Michael's not there. So no one's chosen. No one's picked up the male. Yeah. No one knows how to get the door open.

And he's like, do you know how to get in? Mother, I'm died like mother right now. How do I open the door? Mother Cameron picks up the male and walks in. And when he's like, oh, thanks. Thank you for bending over. I'm like, ooh, when he just stop it. When he stopped trying, stop it. Reenob. He's like, girl.

So 20 dogs, yep. Oh, so yeah, there's all those dogs. I mean, that house, you know, it just smells in there. But Cameron is on their side, no matter what, because they're the producers and they're the richest people. So she's on their side no matter how terrible they are. So she doesn't tell us how much it stinks. Now if you know that was Craig's hash, you'd have been like, it smell like poopoo in there. Every single thing like Craig, your pillowcase is wrinkled. Craig, there's dust on the bed on the bed knob thing. We're just trying to help you, Craig. So let's see.

So blah, blah, blah. What mom is in New York on business? That big calf tan business. When in Rome, Rome is the Romans do. Oscar Wilde. I went up to New York to lobby for blockbuster video. So that way Uncle Jean could have his job back. Also, I wanna save Jupiter Hala.

New York's it exclamation point, exclamation point, question mark, pick on T. Salsa sauce. Let me know. I went to visit Whitney's cousin Serena because I hear she's been out of the news game for a while and I want to see if I can get her another gig on the caftan news network known as CNN. Oh, that's not it's cable news network.

Okay, well, we'll have to figure something else out. I said in vent the caftan news network Oscar Wilde. So then my favorite stop the was Oscar Wilde. So then my favorite stop the insanity Oscar Wilde. My favorite recurring segment on this show. Old man trying to pretend they're young bros and colleges on this calls and Whitney put some on speaker and he's like dude that chick last night. What up with that? Gosh, sheep was outy 5,000. And she wraps like I need to find a real woman. So I mean, you're going to go about on bone Catherine.

That's usually what that means. And Cameron's like, Q does, you know, I think that shows growth. So they talk about this charity event. I don't want confrontations with Gay Threin. I won't engage in less it's with a hot piece of ass. Stop trying. Stop trying. So then, yeah, Craig continues to not be able to get the printer to work. And then we go over to Republic where this event is happening where we see, is it Leva? I think it's Leva, not Leva.

Leva, who's Cameron's friends, I forgot about her. It's always nice when you remember there's someone else in this show because there's so many people over the years that are on this show. And so they're all getting worried like, where's Craig, where's Craig, where's Craig, and we see some kids grow. Kinda Craig doing his hair and he goes, Gizmo, we're not making money tonight if my hair's messed up.

How am I gonna explain that to the orphans? Give them those like, just give me some fucking lasagna so I can go to sleep. The orphans, they're mad. Give them those like just give me some fucking lasagna so I can go to sleep The orphans your mad We thought it was bad enough that we lost our parents, but your hair. It's the last straw. Uh-oh Craig didn't do his hair All right, well at least people who buy compost are gonna be happy throw those kids in the grinder So Craig shows up and problem solved. He still hasn't printed out anything.

And she's handwriting everything for the silent auction. And she's like, Craig, I really need your help here. And he's like, whoa, gotta put up the step and release. She's like, have someone else do it. It's like, nope, gotta do this. It's much better. Putting up the step and release. So it's like literally hanging a poster onto a bar.

Yeah, but watching him do it, it was like watching Robert Redford trying to save his boat and all his lost. He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh because I'm getting fucked the whole charity gets fucked and she's like you fucked yourself and he's like whoa You're gonna do this Naomi. You're gonna do this She's like literally can you do this for me? Yeah, she says you did it yourself and I'm like so did you you're dating Craig Well, he's like Naomi and I deal with stress very differently. I'm like yeah, you cause it and she deals with it Yeah, unfortunately it cripples her deals with it. Yeah. Unfortunately, it cripples her. So then, uh, so that finally he gets the step and repeat up. Now he's like sweaty and his hair is all floppy. So I see everything worked out. I told you. He's like, now I can print out those things. She's like, Craig, we printed them out already. She's like, he's like, see, it always works out. And he's

like, yeah, it's because there's always someone else to pick up your slack. I hate when you say it always works out. So people start piling in the event, including Naomi's parents. And by the way, her mom is so beautiful. Wow. I know. Yeah, she really is. She's so sweet. She's so smiley. She was like, um, she was very like a like a French Yolanda, but she seemed classier. Yeah. Like she wouldn't do the shit that Yolanda does. The God, I hope not. Well, she certainly didn't marry a David Voster. That's for sure. He's like, all right, everybody gather around and listen to this song from the 70s. Bye. Bye. Oh,

the long day. Why? How's it? Uh? So Whitney comes up to Craig and he's like, a mother. I like your new, I like your new philanthropy mother. And he's like, well, I want to be like your mom. And Whitney bitch lead us. He's like, the only thing he adds in common with my mother is breathing hair or is breathing air. He probably been said to like, oh, how dare you mess with mother.

Whitney's going to go start stabbing some young model in a shower. Fucking crazy. But it's true. So Whitney's not wrong. So then Naomi is like, like, like Patricia worked really fucking hard for her money. Yeah, but at least like another binbo marrying into philanthropy, which is kind of literally what Craig is doing. So fuck off Whitney. Your mom fucked her way into a mansion shut up. Oh no. Don't say that about Dearest Patricia. I love Patricia. It's true. Now I mean as far as golding goes, I'm not against it. And she did win the gold trophy. But let's not take the woman invented post it to make her money. Okay. No, but there's an art

to gold. There's an art to being a socialite. And I think Patricia knows it. I don't know if Craig has grasp. Well, Craig's being supported. You don't got a job. That's true. That's true. You said a young Patricia. Yeah. Well, Naya, it's funny because Naomi is talking. And she's so annoyed with Craig. She's just bashing him to his face, but she doesn't realize it because she's speaking in French to her parents. She's like, J'ai la dédeste. J'ai la dédeste. And he's like, yeah. She's like, we'll be dédeste, J'le dédeste. And he's like, yeah. Uh, she's like, we'll be toxic. When my parents want to talk shit with me, we just do it in French.

I'm like, I'm loving Naomi, by the way. I'm too. I'm really glad they're showing Naomi more. Yeah. And then Craig's like, I get to be French. Uh, Abla Espanyol. That looks like, oh, you need to work. Like, that really means so many different things right now. So Landon shows up looking like an egg yolk in her calf tan or is it a panseed? It was some big bright yellow thing. And she's like, ah, super release.

And Austin also shows up. I was like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh cheese when you leave it out? God, I love cheese Oh, bona. I'm gonna find a bathroom Let's go hang out in my rock fort if you know what I'm saying So Whitney and Cameron Whitney says yeah, I heard from chef that he hooked up with Chelsea, little mother. And she gets mad. She's like, wait a second, she'll, I asked her

and she told me no. And if she's going around lying about this, I am going to be mad. So she goes over to Cameron and she's like, now don't get mad at me, Cameron. But Whitney said you hooked up with Chef Chelsea. But Whitney said that you hooked up with Shep or Shep Chelsea, but Whitney said that you hooked up with Shep. I heard like she goes then she makes a punching motion like punch.

Like isn't this hasn't been that long since this woman is had sex. I just don't understand what sort of matchmaker she is. Like I don't like if you're trying to put these two together, why are you confronting Chelsea about either lying or chef spreading rumors? Yeah, this is a little weird because she says, Chelsea's like, you know, I'll take you everything. Like she has a funny accent, Chelsea. And then Cameron says, yeah, well, I said, then fine, if she had been saying that, then

let's just call him. And then it shows like a flashback of five minutes ago, of her being with Whitney, and they did call them, the call to him. They did call them. And she's like Whitney, you know, they confront him and she's like, I never said that. I wouldn't say that. I'm like, then why are you saying, why are you causing all this? No, no, no, no, because Cameron's camera is basically it was Whitney who did it because Whitney is the one

who who was like, yeah, they fucked. I actually do believe that Whitney would hear something and then just say that just to get a rise out of someone. So what I hear that what I'm saying is why did Cameron, if she knew that Chef didn't say it and Whitney was just making that shit up, why would she start shit with her new friend and go up and say, I heard that Shep is saying he fucked you. But then later we found that he didn't. That's one of the things that bad matchmaking. Fusing. Yeah, it's confusing. What's he doing? It was a weird, it was a weird moment.

Well, Chelsea, look at her like bitch, I'm already on this show. You think I won't turn on you in two fucking seconds? Yeah, you me a try. The producer is clearly told her to go up to it and just confront it. Just they're like, can you just ask Chelsea and Chelsea like oh God I've survived many travel councils Okay, this ain't nothing to me bitch. Yeah Chelsea was not happy with her and I don't blame her. Yeah, so Naomi Craig's friend Naomi and Craig's friends and he and me is like so wow, that's great that you're here You guys graduated together

You know, I mean you still working out that low here stuff, you know, because this guy's already been through law school. And because, well, from the internet, it looks like he's a good gardener. I like the way he picks up plants, steps forward and releases them. I mean, toot and plants in a box. It's not something we learned in law school,

but you know, I'm glad he can do it. I really like to short film about driving, Gizmo around on a wheelbarrow. What do you call it again? The cats in the furious? Hard to be a lawyer when you can't find an objection with roses. Who objects to roses? I really enjoyed that trellis he was working with. Too bad Iele over.

So Craig comes over and he's like, well, hey babe, like, I mean, we made above our goal. So like we did it. I mean, I'll be more responsible next time, but we got it done. Okay. And she's like, mm-hmm. She's like, now maybe in the future, people will be less Haiti to orphans more lovey. She's like, no, that's not what the hatey orphans and hatey means. Oh. Oh. Hey, I'm me, and I'm not mean to orphans.

I'm like you. Me, the or you're hatey to orphans. So she's like, well, you know, seeing someone's flaws and still loving them is true love, which means I must really love him a lot. When you're okay with lowering your bar, that's true love. So then we how are people gonna get over it? So then we go over to Austin our resident Muppet and he is basically talking with Chelsea and Chelsea's into him and she's like say what's your top and he's like?

Um, I would say someone who's got like Sandy Blonde hair who's a woman who's like five eight. I mean pop seven I mean five five five five six five six Preferably had knows what's like to live on an island with 30 for 39 days, especially an island that you might call one world. Oddly, the other oddly colored hair that's just like her best friend, whose name rhymes with hammering.

You getting this? You getting this? She's like, yeah, I got it. I just ended up on that. He's like, so can I invite you on a date to a polo match? He's like, sure. And I'm not too old for you. And he's like 31.

I look 45. This way, you can always be older than me and pay for things, but people won't make fun of his and public. It's perfect. And the music is all uplifting. Like this is the most romantic scene of all from like an 80s movie. You know, it's like, da da da da da da da da da da da da.

But I was I was excited. I'm like, ooh, this is going to get good. We're going to see real. If we thought Kelsey Bellarini was bad, this is going to be even worse for Chef. Chef. I made no effort. I can't believe that you would take that girl that I've never even made an effort towards. That's crazy. Gaww. Gaww. Yeah, Chelsea ain't gonna be fucking with Shep. And also she just learned in this episode that Cameron's constantly gonna be a nuisance in her life about Shep. Yeah, that would be good. I don't blame her.

It's gonna be good. So that was the end for Southern for Southern charm one of my favorite shows on Bravo these days and before we wrap up this episode Why don't we stick our big ol' hands into that lovely old sack that we call the crap in's mailbag Alright, well we have actually, there are actually two male bags that are open, but there have been some new entries in the last male bag, so here let's wrap up that male bag, once and for all. Jessica Raleigh says, vagina, Gretchen's nude photo scandal, Kenya's rotten vagina, according to Portia, and all the real house of New York vaginas, uh, proposition by a, a, a Viva's father. Oh my God. How did Erica Jane not make it into this?

She did. Erica's perfectly little push, push. Oh, Erica's perfect little push. So I guess I just heard Erica's push so many times that I've just started blocking you out when people say it. So I think, I think the pretty little post is the best. I can't tell it was the best or the worst storyline for a vagina.

There have not really been any that have been particularly great. I definitely think that Jules is the worst. So here at Little Pistachio, that was truly the worst. I don't know. So I mean, Jules is was the funniest because she like broke her badge on a window, which is, I mean, that's pretty good.

And it's the most unique, you know. it was the season of vaginas because that's when Beth and you was like, Oh, you're going to try to take my vagina storyline. Okay. Well, guess what? I'm going to hammer down a mine for three months. Okay. And no, not really. Not for you. I'll over a homegun. So literally because you did that, like, no, we're canceling cast rep.

Okay. I get the vagina story. I have to say the most successful vagina story has been to Anna Krupa's because it led to a court case that is still keeping Brandy in the news. I don't even think that court case is done yet. It's still going through the courts. Seriously. Seriously. Bad slander. I mean, when have you ever heard of bad slander case? Like you slandered my vagina and that's the way I make money. So you owe me a million dollars. And that's pretty good. Yeah. Speaking of Joanna Krupa, that is a perfect segue to the next question from Jess Dang, who says,

Ronnie's recent appearance with Leah Black had me thinking, what if there was a real housekeeper show? Leah's housekeeper is so memorable. Chefs can count too. Obviously, Zola makes it, but what other housekeeper would make for juicy casemates, Rocio, Tracy Bloom, who's, uh, that's Kim Zolsey X-Chef, what drama would, would there be? Side note, will you guys cover flipping out at all when it comes back? Well, flipping out we never

really cover. We, well, sometimes we touch on it but we never really cover it. Yeah, we covered it, we covered it for a while and then I did, I used to, I've recapped a season of it, which was fun, but there's flipping out already hilarious. And it's, we'd like the shows with like drama and catiness. Well, yeah, that show has a sense of humor about itself. So it's not as fun as the shows that think they're being totally serious. They're also on that show. Yeah, and also I'm terrified of Jeff.

And I see him all the time at Leah's house. And I never even talked to him because I'm scared of him. He says, Samarit, you know, I don't want him to eviscerate me back. Yeah, I'd be scared too. In terms of only bully people that are smaller than you. Yes.

In terms of chefs and maids, I think obviously Chef Bernie needs to have a moment, although he's very thirsty. So it makes me think maybe not. Well, it's thirsty enough for Bravo, girl. I mean, that guy was getting headlines even when he wasn't in it. And then it turned out a bunch of that drama from Beverly Hills all came from Bernie and it was bullshit. Yeah.

Like he was feeding Adrian a bunch of lies and stuff, which was classic. So that guy has to be in it. Yeah. And then there was someone we were that guy has to be in it. Yeah. And then there was someone we were just talking about last week where it caused us to reference Bernie. I'm trying to think of the shows offhand. Really, I'm trying to think really quickly of other chefs where we were like, oh, that's like Chef Bernie.

Was it someone from New York? Someone's chef on New York, perhaps? I don't think the New York people don't have a chef, do you they? Maybe it was someone in Sonya's life. Oh, like, I think it was the Butler. Because the is the New York people don't have a chef. Do they? Maybe if someone in Sonya's life, I was like, oh, I think it was the butler because the butler on you are a borrowed butler. He and Michael need to have a show. The borrowed butler and the proper butler. And then yeah, Rosio from Beverly Hills also, she doesn't talk much, but

you know how they always have the glamour shots on these shows where they show the ladies shopping and they're trying to be all fancy. I would like a glamour montage of Rosio just going through Pandora's Closet to pick out the, the leftovers she wants. Yes. Oh, I think also Lisa Rinez, uh, woman who, who brought the flower in from the garage. Oh my God. Lisa Rinez made, you know, like having to bury flower in the backyard because Lisa Rinez doesn't want it in the kitchen. I love when they had to find flower. She's like, oh my god, Lisa Rinnez made, you know, like having to bury flour in the backyard because Lisa Rinnez doesn't want it in the kitchen. I love when they had to find flour. She's like, it was in a locked box in the garage. She's like, I'm afraid now. And I don't think there are any maids in Atlanta or Orange County, correct?

Oh, well, there is Alfredo. I'd like Alfredo to be in the mix. Yes. Alfredo. And then- It's played by a new cast member. He'll be like the Murphy Brown Secretary of the show. I like Karen's made from Will and Grace. And that's not a Bravo person, but she

would ram out the cast nicely. Yeah. I think that's a pretty good selection of hired help. One last question. How about Laurie from the new mailbag? We're now in the new mailbag, so everyone make sure if you write questions, they go into the April mailbag. Laurie says, How can you two not see how awful Potomac surely was?

She was Mama Joyce, Jr. I felt like Adina Monsun on Abfab when you were gushing over this old trout. You two are so predictable, aren't you? Any rich bitch with a drug habit and you're anybody, it's orange you. It's Marlena and Judy. I'll roll it up into one for you, isn't it? I feel like I just totally butchered whatever Lori wanted me to say. Sorry Lori. I read that and I agree that Ben is too nice to me. I'm just kidding. Here that Ben is too nice to. I'm just kidding. Here's the thing with that mother.

You could see that she's evil. She made a lot of super shitty comments, but Monique is terrible. And when this beautiful, tiny woman, gold digger, who doesn't even have the respect to be nice, because you know she's always been a bitch to the mother-in-law. It's not like she tried to hide it yeah I kind of

am on the mother side yeah the mother looks at someone like that and she's like she's sleeping with my husband because she wants his money and she's right yeah I think you have to earn a mother-in-law's respect it's not automatically given and I clearly she hasn't earned it so the mom's gonna be like book you bitch so and anyone will win me over when they say, did I say that have a straight? Yeah, yes, exactly. And you know, I do think, you know, Chris,

for as far as we can tell, he seems like a very, very stand up good guy. Like literally he's a stand up guy, he's very tall. But he seems like a good guy, he seems like a good dude. So I think I believe he's probably raised well based on the five seconds we've seen on him. I've made a flash judgment on him. He has a very big, very happy family, you know, and Monique sitting at that dinner or that lunch being like, our sex is great and sex this and we fight all the time and blah,

blah, blah. Like what do you expect her to, you know, I give her credit for not stabbing that bitch in the throat with a fork a long time ago. Yeah, exactly. Now that said, we're always waiting for them to turn into Mama Joyce. Yeah, we're perfectly happy to turn on her. We'll do that.

But for right now, we're team Shirley. Team Shirley. All right. Alright. Remember, if you want to have your question read in the Crapins Mailbag, you can go to Patreon, and you can support us at the Crapins Mailbag level or higher. And then we also have the listener spotlight, which we will hopefully bring back next week. So everyone, wow, we made it to Friday. There's a big, long week. I'll tell you one thing, Ronnie,

I'm ready to have some lunch. Girl, let's do it. I'm about to go get a whole food salad. Make way from a $16 salad, everybody. I'm gonna make tacos, cause I put some chicken thighs in my pressure cooker last night, and I could not even believe how good it was. Girl, I'm hoping it's mac and cheese day at whole foods because I would love to supplement

my salad. So jealous. So, so, so, so, thanks everyone for listening. We will talk to you all next week and in a few weeks see you at our live show. So everyone, goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye.

Hey everyone. Thanks for listening to the podcast today. We really appreciate the love and support you guys show us. If you have a minute, go to iTunes and leave a review. And if you don't want to do that, maybe next time you're talking to your friends about Bravo, you mentioned the podcast. Spending the word really helps us grow and it means the world to us. Also check us out on Instagram and at Twitter. On Instagram we're at Watchware Crappens. On Twitter we're at what

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