Watch What Crappens - #444 RHOP: Hookah with a Heart of Gold

Episode Date: April 28, 2017

The ladies of Potomac gather at a hookah bar to do things like shame Monique and... shame Monique. But she kind of deserves it for bragging about the $250 (marked down to $75) bottle of wine she brought. Also, there was a Sweet 16 for Sha-Sha's daughter, and the infamous Eddie showed up. Awkward... Come listen to us break it all down. Plus, Crappens Mailbag! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crap-ins listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook com slash watch what crap ends. And to follow us on social media go to watchocrapens.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what crap ends, a podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about

on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from BesideBlog.com and the Banta Blender podcast. And joining me is the wonderful and indelectable and always hilarious and funny and charming and perfect. Ronnie Carrom from trashtalktv.com and the RosePrix Bachelor podcast.

Hey Ronnie, what's up? Hello, B! Hello, hello, how we made it to Friday. Can you believe it? TGI F everybody. TGI F, you know, I have to say, you know, you know, I love to do the self-congratulatory moments on our podcast. I have to do another one because I was looking at our stats for last week and we had our biggest week ever on mantra crap ends. We had over 300,000 listens in one week alone. We had just under 75,000 listens, I think was on Wednesday.

That is in Saint, literally, who does that? Literally. Wow, that's up. Like literally my way up. Like too many people are listening to me. Too many up? Like literally my what's up? Like too many people are listening to me. Too many lessons, like literally I can't, I can't, I can't. So you guys, thank you. Thank you for listening to us.

That's, it's just, it boggles my mind. I can't believe how, what this podcast is turning into. It's so cool. So thank you everyone. Yeah, thank you everybody. Yeah. And today's podcast is all about us. No, it's actually about Potomac, Real House

was a Potomac and Crapids Mailbag later on. The Real Housewives of Potomac, here we go. Here we go. So we open with Jizz driving her mom from the airport. Yeah. And she says, I'm coming right now Mama Sita now Mama is seated Mama Sita is a character on feud Okay, who is constantly abused by Joan Crawford and she tells grown Joan Crawford if you throw one more thing into my head I am out I don't know what have just done to this Mama Sita because I know she's gonna be a victim Yeah, well Mama Sita was not very victim. He Mama Sita was this Mama Cita because I know she's going to be a victim. Yeah. Well, Mama Cita was not very victim. Mama Cita was pretty Mama Cita.

She, so basically, Jazelle picks her up because she comes in every few months to see the kids. And we learned that, I think her name is Joanne. She really loves Kevin, which is the guy that Jazelle's been hanging out with because I guess she, like, Jazelle's been hanging out with because I guess she like Jazelle had been living in a community and then when she moved out the mom moved into the community and Kevin would bring her you know stuff groceries who knows what so she loves she really loves Kevin which is never good for a marriage yeah that's usually a really bad sign yeah when your mother is actually closer with your boyfriend or your husband than you,

that's some trouble coming up. Yeah, it can steam up on you, you know. He's already calling your mom. Yeah, you need to marry somebody with mommy issues so that you can have somebody to bet you about your mom with. Like, if you can't bet you about your mom to your husband, who the hell are you going to bet you about her too? Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. So, Jizelle, a man, Jacelle will probably ruin this anyway, because Jacelle's way of falling in love is like, well, you son of a bitch. I have to, you know, it's like just always dissing the guy. Which, some guys really love it. Yeah, I guess we'll have to see. I guess we will have to see.

So that was pretty much nothing seen. She just picks up her mom. And then we go to Karen Yuga and Black Bill Gates, known as Ray, going to dinner. And I like that. J.9. Did not. And Karen.

Red lobster. J.9. J.9. Only the finest for Karen Yuga. I have to sit in the middle of the restaurant. So Karen. Don't need a blue lobster. That means they're uncooked.

That's right, dear. Still, I'll get that shrimp fired. I love that animated movie from the 80s called The Lobsters Tale. No, that was... that was an American tale. Well, either way, The Lobster was working the sweatshop and I do not condone that. You try and feed me a little mouse missing his mama. I'll have you fired.

I don't want to fiverl. I want a tendle. So I just was like cracking myself up because I think I was watching it late at night and she's telling the waiter or something. She's like, I would love champagne and then I'll move on to the scallops and I imagine her literally moving onto some scallops. Like she has a little bed of scallops that she just lies onto on her side. I like this, she orders. She orders the fanciest thing she can find a machine because really the scallops,

I feel, I agree with her husband when he says, now the scallops don't technically have much taste. And she's like, we're not gonna break down the scallops He is wrong by the way scallops have a lovely flavor. I Love are basically boogers covered in butter. Well, they are no that's not really I would make the argument for escargot our life boogers covered in butter But I think scallops have their own special sort of like sweet special flavor But not all scallops are created equal. I mean obviously you can never have a frozen scallop

Tom click you but we are not breaking down the scallop tonight It's called top chef not top scallop, okay? But like you know like a like I forget there's one that you're Certain scallops are flavorless because they they're like slimy and frozen, but like a diver scallop a baseball scallop. I'm down with that. A baseball scallop that they don't think are they called baseball scallops the big ones. I don't know. It's just funny to me because it's the fanciest food. I want to make sure my scallops are playing the major leagues.

Hop scotch scallops. If you think it, they will come. So they talk about this house hunting they're doing and how difficult it is. And then we get a clip of Karen in that house hunting section, where she's being such a bitch to the house hunter real estate people, which makes me both hate and love her a lot. Yes, and now Karen starts to wax, you know, nostalgicly about her life, and she starts saying about, starts talking about how in her previous marriage, the only thing good to come out of it was, you know, her son brand.

And it was funny. We saw a picture of Karen in her youth, and she looked, my first thought was, you know, her son Brandon and it was funny. We saw a picture of Karen in her youth and she looked. My first thought was she looked a lot like Irulon from real world Las Vegas, which is funny because I just mentioned real world Las Vegas on our Atlanta episode. older. Like I've never really thought about much of an age difference at this point. I mean, I really respect a man who you're who marry is like a hot young trophy wife and then like it's still married to her when he's old. Well, I like it. I like it. Yeah, I like it. I like right to. I like it. I'm also starting the oh, go ahead. I'm sorry. No, just say I like that he wears a shirt and tie it about to a restaurant. And I like he knows that he's married to the most ridiculous person in the world. And Karen in her testimonials this season, I don't know if she's been doing this the whole time, but it cracks me up that she's sitting on a patio chair from outside first of all. It's got like that iron. It's low as home and garden store. Yes. which is so Potomac. And then she, and she's leaning back in it.

Like she's full on just leaning completely back. Like she's at the point where she's almost laying down now. She, well, she did that last year. She was sort of like sitting in these weird positions in her chair. So no, she'd be like fully sideways. Like her body be sideways in her head would be toward the camera.

Like she's always, you know what she's like? She's like, um, oh, what was that woman's name she was so amazing on blood sweat and heels The lights can lie woman with a red hair She would just like draper self across like an ottoman during her oh, yeah sing song sometimes not MJ my low or my co or amica Micah Micah Micah Micah Micah Micah. She was, and then I immediately forget everything about them. You said blood, sweat, and heels, and all these memories came rushing over me.

Yeah, I mean, Amika, she was one of Bravo's greatest discoveries, and it's a shame that she has no more, she, there's no platform for her to be, like she needs to be back on Bravo. But I also, you know, that they're having this little dinner and Karen's like, my baby, my baby's, my baby's, and then Ray is like, hey, is this a dance floor? He like takes our arm and they start slow dancing, and I'm like, Ray, I think the answer to that question is no. It is not a dance floor. You're in the middle of a fancy restaurant. Please take a seat. Yeah, you're in the middle of a red lobster. No one needs to see this. She says, do you like my outfit? You didn't mention it.

That's like mama. So let's see, I couldn't ask for a better gift than Brandon. Lose not in Botox veins. Oh man, her Botox veins were pumping out of there. And I also noticed that when she smiles, she gets this lip crease right above her upper lip that looks like a mustache and I love it. I'm gonna love pointing it out every time she does it now. I like it. That's why she doesn't smile much.

I actually like her flash smiles. You know, if you notice, she does like a really quick flash smile every now and then, like when she goes, let's talk about mama. And then she does like a quick smile. That's like really, it's just like this, instant smile that goes away. It's almost like a little, like she's laughing to herself. I really like that's a Karen, that's like really just like this instant smile that goes away. It's almost like a little like she's laughing to herself.

I really like that's a carrot. That's a Karen Hubert. Hubert Hubert I always forget. Hubert. Who's Hubert? Hubert is someone else. I don't know. Hubert, Mrs. Hubert was, she was the one who got killed on desperate housewives.

Thank you. Yes. So we're Karen Hubert, not Hubert. Karen Hubert. I like her flashed miles. Keep an eye out for them. It also usually means she's teaming up to say something nasty. And then we go over to Seresa's house who it's like the saddest opening to a scene. She's like, hey, little dogs.

You got one, Momofa. I just, I feel so sad. I mean, this is my thing. Champagne, champagne. I heard that Karen was ordering champagne at a restaurant. I was so mad. Hey, dog. Mommy thought that's a champagne. I heard that Karen was ordering champagne at a restaurant. I was so mad. Hey, dog. Mommy thought that's the champagne. Can you wait for it to have a own moon for the champagne

dog? She's on the phone. Sorry. I was just going to say what you're saying. She's on the phone with her party planner to plan Skyler's sweet 16. And he's like, I've got it girl, I've got everything planned. This is gonna be amazing. She's like, if gotta be the most special event ever. And he's like, I was thinking balloons. Yes. Big balloons. I'm the man thing.

I literally wrote down the same thing because she's like, my daughter get nothing but the best. And he's like, I'm thinking gigantic balloons. I'm like, yes, about a buffet where there's food. That would be a big thing. No party on this show will ever have a thing like on real housewives of Beverly Hills parties where they put up a little chiroin that says $50 million. Yeah. Not here like $5 donated, EmU and five dollars this party call. Yeah, I'm going all out They could be a dance floor. There's gonna be There's gonna be balloons

There's gonna be a light that turns on and off So Ashley arrives and she's like girl I could have my turn this is your party and I'm thinking oh my god, you know That would be an amazing sweet 16 to have some like shooting ping pongs out of their bags That's actually a very creative service actually and then she's like no catering. Oh And Sharice is like oh, I don't want to sort of em you at the sweet 16, but at the same time I don't want to spend money so okay On the other hand, Eddie gave me $5. Like Shasa would like to have scallops, but Sharif they'll take the e-moo.

The wreath's just to tell the self at the hamburger. Well, I was just gonna defrost a whole bunch of stofras mac and cheese, but I guess I'll take your key bird. That's fast-shell. That's nothing but that. I'm sure the kids won't mind eating some platypus. for his mac and jesus but i guess i'll take your key that that's that's all that's nothing but that that i'm sure the kids won't mind eating some platypoth so asli uh... is starting to grill her about eddie which becomes a big deal later you know but she says what is that he say she goes well he paid for it for he's a vibe and ha ha ha ha ha

uh... but we don't know if he's coming or not. He has to come at some point, Eddie. At some point. Yeah, he has to be on camera at some point. I really like on these shows when you get to hear the man's point of view. Yeah, it'll happen. It'll happen.

It'll eventually really dislike being dragged to the mud enough that he's going to say something. Yeah, maligned. Yeah, I mean, he's out of a job. So it's only a matter of time before Bravo throws him some money and he bites. But then Monique shows up. And I just, what I like about this show

is that it's like a little bit more budget than the other ones. It's so budget that you can see the PAs and the cameraman running around on the background. As she shows up, did you notice that? No, that's amazing. That's the full on running around around like scampering to get into the shits get like get ready for the shot. And they just didn't even bother cutting it out. They're like, whatever.

They're like, we've got some footage of her walking. Please, let's just use it. Yeah. What else are you going to do? Otherwise, Shasha is going to try and use her fucking what a hoverboard again. Let's just watch her walk. Okay. So she comes in and she's like, Oh, sorry, I'm late. I was tired. I was in Alabama for the Hall of Fame production. Yeah. production. They glued a poster to a column and picture. So yeah, they're sitting there and talking about kids and want more kids. And then, Moni can actually celebrate the pull-up method.

I'm like, this is how gene pregnancy happens. Because she's like, what's every single time? I'm like, oh, not quite. Yeah, also that man's probably on some kind of pill any 70. So, yeah. The shocker here isn't that he's pulling out. It's that he's ever in He uses the pull-in method He's like on coming in on coming in or make it a little to the right honey. I can do it. I know at a park

I can do it, I know how to park. All right, little thing right. Well, I can do it. You're dumb bitch. So Ashley says that she wants to plan a hook a night, which sounds like my version of hell, because I just really don't like hookah. And they're like, yeah, sounds great. Sounds great. And then Ashley promptly gets down to business, telling

Monique that just Zilla's been making fun of Monique bragging about her homes. Yeah, Ashley doesn't care. I'm like, okay, throw that bitch over the bus. She deserves it. She is openly rude. And if Ashley hadn't said anything, I mean, Jizelle did before Ashley even could say anything Jizelle was a bit.

Yeah. But I have to say that right before the Sheree, Shereesh, Shereesh, they were talking about pulling out. And Shereesh goes,erees they were talking about pulling out and Serees goes, if I were the dude I wouldn't pull out because it's like going to a surprise party and it's not for you. Hey what? And that's totally how your daughters can feel. It's like happy, happy surprise party. Here's a shooting day for all of my friends.

I hope this is special. You're eating e-mue because we got it for free on TV. And news alert series. The surprise still happens for the guys. Yeah, I mean, there's just a venue change in the middle of it. Right. You go into surprise party. It's not for you. And then you walk outside and suddenly surprise. You've got come all over your face. Yeah. exactly. It's one of those like multi-layered surprise parties

where you tell someone that's a surprise and they show up and it's not a surprise and then they feel let down and now that they're guard is down, you take them to the next room and guess what, it's a surprise. But the next room happens to be your stomach. That's way too high budget for this. So they're like, that is too many scenes.

We've only got the Marriott for one weekend, okay? Yeah, we do not pull out of the Marriott. So they start talking about the mother-in-law drama and Monique says, people are always judging me. It's difficult being Monique Daniels. Yeah, every time I go to one of my five houses I think, will this make me feel better about being judged for being Monique Daniels wife of a Hall of Famer from Alabama Hall of Famer? No, so then I go to my next house and I think maybe this one makes me feel better about being Monique Daniels married to football Hall of Famer Chris Samuels. Still fine.

Still okay. Still okay. So they start playing clown music, which means it's time for Ashley to try and understand. And she's like, I'm getting it. I'm stressed too. I have a restaurant. My husband won't come inside me until we break even.

Like that was not what I was saying. Oh, your husband, he must be a Hall of Famer too, right? Because I only hang out with Hall of Fame Oh, it's just my husband's new to the Hall of Famer. Oh, I see got it. Well, at least your husband's been in a hallway. Please don't bully me It's just like any hall. She's like it might not be the Hall of Fame, but I'm sure that he's been in a hall. I was just gonna get the Hall of Fame, some husbands get the hall on the way from the guest bathroom back to the master bedroom.

Just a sursensfully funny phrase. You're like your husband's been in a hallway, please don't bully me. Anyway, maybe I not getting today. It's the end of the week and I'm just stupid. Maybe he'll come inside if you have a venue change. Just go to your fourth house. You don't know.

Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? Just be happy in the hall that you're in. Here, here's a cough drop. It's from the halls of medicine. You know, of course, it's been induction of the halls of medicine hall of fame. You know when you have like a cough and you have a halls of medicine almost and you start walking that place with all the clouds and those big reflections of your face coughing,

it's like Chris. So stupid. So they Ashley is talking about how stressed she is and then she says, I'm gonna have a good night, which is just like such a sad offer. Yeah. And then Syris tells her, well, the first time we're okay with the women, I think you'll be okay. You just need to get through all the layers. For example, right now, three,

but later, I'll be shot shot and champagne, we're gonna have a boy only the world. Who made the world girl world who made the world girl Who made the world girl Yeah, all right then they're just backing up slowly Trying to get back back to their cars they can leave So then Really upbeat scene we have Robin she goes to visit her parents

That's her that's her doorbell Robin Robin Robin Robin 12 o'clock one The saddest clock that never wakes anybody up one. The saddest clock that never wakes anybody up. Bob. Bob.

Bob. It's a granddaughter clock. Robin. Like, why is that cuckoo coming out so slowly? And sadly, does someone want to cheer up the cuckoo bird? It just sort of came out and just sort of standing there staring staring at the void. It's opening the tiny cuckoo door just like peeking its heads out.

Like, is it okay if I come out now? The robin I Can't help but feel like I'm supposed to jump off of this thing to my death Every time you Re-adjust the time it's like you're right. I was at the wrong time Why do you fix me? It's my fault that you didn't like what time I was.

I'm glad you turned the clock forward because you know what? At least I'm saving something, even if it's just daylight. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can lace an ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. I don't even know what that means. Wond doesn't save any time for me. Forward maybe rum, maybe want to like me more in this time zone God we have to turn our suicidal clock again. I'm sorry our kuku looks like it wants to fall off the clock Our kuku got a new haircut, but it's still telling the wrong time. It's super weird I thought this would change everything So she's getting the kids out of the car and the brat kid won't come out. It's like, fun. Stay in the car. She just leaves some

of the car and goes inside, which is my favorite move ever, but which also leads to lots of babies being, you know, like cooked. You know, listen, you can't fervorize your babies when they're six years old. It's too late. I don't like microwave food. Find and stay in the microwave for a while. See how you like it. Wait a minute. So Robin shows up.

Her parents are so sweet. And by the way, that kid who's staying in the car, there's like the doorbell rings. It's like, Bob in and they're like, the kid is there. I was like, oh, look who decided to join. When she goes, well, the good thing about us moving is that we're closer to my parents. I was like, I have a feeling they're not saying Pat.

Yeah, I mean, your kids immediately come in, start running all over the place. When's eating chewing gum and beef jerky at the same time? Their parents just look at her like, oh God, how long have we been listening about this fucking relationship? I know exactly and by the way, Robin you have to start disciplining your kids more I know people parents hate that when they're told how to discipline

But your kids eating beef jerky and chewing gum at the same time and screaming and all over the place You can't just be like, who does that? You got to like You gotta raise your voice a little bit Robin and I feel terrible quoting the color purple on such a low-rent show But do is Oprah said and just beat him a little bit Robin and I feel terrible quoting the color purple on such a low rent show, but do his Oprah said and just beat him. That's right. Wait. At some point you got to whip out a spoon.

Okay. We'll the wooden spoon of respect. Yeah. Well, now, now we're going to get a lot of heat tweets on that one. No, that's how I got hit. Oh no, we're old. Okay. I'm older than men.

I got back in our day. I say that now. That's're I'm older than men. I got back in our day. I say that. I say that now. That's when you know your old and you're like back in our day. We didn't have Twitter. But yeah, back in the day, my mom had a wooden spoon in the glove compartment so she could reach my ass while she was still driving. Okay. That's hilarious. And she brags about it now. She tells other mothers. She's like, here's a wooden spoon. I'm like, Mom, they're not going to, you can't beat your children anymore. She's like, it's going to do anything bad to you. I said, I'm a 41-year-old who complains about housewives, vehemently, for a living. Of course it hurts me. I'm never in a relationship. Like, you want me to list all the ways that I'm hurt right

now. Okay, we take it back from here. Don't take out the wooden spoon. Just let your, let your child be creative and express himself. Exactly. Listen, those kids will be jocks anyway. They'll be set. They'll be popular. But you know what, I don't fuck with my mom. And I think that that's the point.

Yeah, it's true. So it kinda worked. It's true. So anyway, Robyn's talking. That's not all tough, but I go home at Christmas. And I'm like, sure, mom, anything you need. Yeah, I don't meet you. I'm a mom's boy.

So Robyn's talking about one. One. And the mom's like, sure, mom, anything you need. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I know me too. I'm a mom's boy. So Robyn's talking about one, one, one. And the mom's like, well, I think that at some point, you're probably just gonna move on. She's like, oh, maybe. Well, we had this romantic date at the gym, but he never showed up. And then we see, it is hard not to feel bad for Robin fourth thing I mean hey your date night is at the gym that's fucking sad and then

he doesn't even show up and she goes well no one's perfect no one's perfect but people can be punctual yeah she goes you know he, so it'll take time to build up trust, but I'm sure if I wanted to get married, he'd say yes again. Robin, men do not change. A man, and you didn't stand up to him and divorce him, he's still living in your house, and that man is never gonna change.

You're given him the milk for free, he still gets to fuck whoever he wants, and he still gets to treat you like crap. Like for, to that guy, it's a win-win. Well, it's either you just take him back, warts and all, or you say, you know what, you lost the right to earn back your trust, I'm moving on. I mean, I know. We shouldn't, you know, theoretically, we shouldn't judge because, you know, they live

their life, they're doing their thing, it's working for them on some way. But at the same time, if you're going around talking like, oh, one, it's like, you got to choose one path. It's like, it's time to even Sharista it last year. Even Sharista, Shasha. So, you know, it's either you take him back, you know, he made a mistake and, you know, you, because you, you know, you love him. He's the father of kids, you love being around him. And even though he made him stay, you're willing to give him another shot. And you do that. Or you say, you know what? You fucked up a good thing, we're taking some time off.

But the half and half thing, I don't know, I haven't seen it work out too well for too many people. I think the, yeah, and I think the hardest thing is that she's just been with this guy since she was 16. Now, so it makes it the saddest, you know. And just mom issues, in terms of that, she likes to be the mother. Yeah, it's gonna be trouble for her to get over it,

but I'm sure she will. Ooh, be sure to. So. Five it, but I'm sure she will. So five, five, five, this is definitely a shasha party. This is one of those dresses you put on and you're like, Hey, I look fear, right? And then your girlfriends like, yeah, you look great. And then that's when you find out they're the most terrible friend in the world. Yeah, it would say yes to that dress It was so stupid in tight

It's kind of a saloon dress where it has that ruffle mermaid thing at the bottom, but then splits above it Oh, it was and it cut out. It was so it's basically this is the sweet 16 party and and Sheree's is wearing a dress that it's It's form fitting on top. It's a white form fitting dress. And then there's like the where with the normal hemline would be sort of like mid quad, mid thigh level. But then there's like a roughly bottom part of the dress. So it goes from being form fitting and sort of smooth to like a ruffle that's attached.

And on top of that, the ruffle like around the hemline, there are these cutouts. So it looks truly like the ruffle part is almost like buttoned on or something and someone forgot to button certain areas so there's like and the cutouts are like on the upper calf it's like yeah it's a part of every woman wants to show off yeah

it's definitely a sassas wrath um yeah that was that was the other Need anything covering a calf Get a club. Hey, then Shavista doesn't show her legs, but Shasa shows her calf and only really like the upper calf sort of like sometimes like a little part of the shin too Fafa tell the week the ugly and if the week kicks Fafa out of a potting But you know, though for as much as we're making fun of this party, I actually secretly really liked it because at the end of the day,

it was sort of like a normal kids party. You know, they rented out a ballroom. They, the biggest thing is that they had Skylar and big letters. They kind of like, they probably like rated, you know, some sky vodka party. Got different letters for the other part of Skylar. But, but essentially it was just, it was a party with a DJ and some past food. And it wasn't some ridiculous, chile Richard's thing or tailor, arm strong or any of this stuff that's so over the top.

You know, Rihanna did not come out to sing a song, Sealo did not show up. It was just a kids party. And I actually sad because she's like, we're giving the biggest ballroom in the barria. Do they do any event that doesn't take place in a ballroom with the barria? It's like everywhere they go to have a big party seems like a convention for something.

And this one, it gets this huge room that fills 500 people and there's like 30 people there. And it just looks so sad. I didn't think it looked sad. I thought it looked like a typical teenage party. It looks sad compared to the ridiculous things we've seen on reality TV. But in terms of like teenager parties, it was when it was turned 16 under fluorescent lighting. No, because the dance floor was lit and then there was like the fluorescent part where all the adults were sitting and talking and you know it was to me it looked like

every like party like that that I'd gone to as a as a as a kid mean to that's why I say Mary Mary up all routes like every bar mitzvah I went to they're like we're gonna have the most expensive bar mitzvah ever. I'm like this is the same ballroom that the poor lady had last time. Well listen at least there's a better lighting scheme than Katie's charity auction That's true. Neptune's table and the musical accruter mall with some more pleasant to listen to One two three. I'm talking about you on to me I'll be there. Oh

Be there Oh She was reading the card the kid was reading the cards that her mom got and I was like that poor thing Her mom bought her the wrong size tea too. She's like, thanks mom. This is amazing So go no, do you not just get the wrong The wrong size tea. Yeah, cuz I think that's yeah, I think that's what wrong with series two I think that sometimes when people get implants They work size right when they first started having a No, I'm I'm officially saying that that that girl Skyler is a way back in a way a fish I'm officially I'm officially reprimanding you. I did not think that I think Skyler is they look too big. It just doesn't sound like they fit

properly. No. I'm officially rep I'm going on the record and reprimanding that. Okay. When is the age that it's appropriate to make fun of people? 18. 18. They gotta be able to vote. Yes. I mean in some states they can fuck 16. What the hell? Listen, I think it's okay to praise under 18 and if you're going to make fun under 18

You have to make fun of their behavior But I'm not gonna go ask after any sort of speech impediment which actually I didn't hear though I don't even know if they can drive Then they should be able to get made fun of like if those fuckers can rear end you while they're texting They can get made fun of like if those fuckers can wear into you while they're texting they can get made fun of Listen, I think I actually think I think that adult adult level should be 16 Which I guess that sounds sort of like a little crazy, but I actually agree with you if you can drive you should be considered an adult But um, and I think that drinking drinking should be down to 18 or something

Oh, by the way, I didn't mean some states. I meant some countries Sorry people are gonna be like what state can you have sex with the 16 year old? Drinking should be down to 18 or something. Oh, by the way, I didn't mean some states. I meant some countries. I'm sorry. People are going to be like, what state can you have sex with a 16 year old huge child abuser? God, I learned it in like a Reddit comment the other day about France. Everybody get off ass. Listen, we're going down a path.

That's not going to, it's just not going to be good for any of our future lives. OK, this is what we call a career limiting threat here. So let's move off of that. Either way, the real story here is that Eddie showed up. This is Eddie's first moment, I think, on Potomac cameras. Yeah, and he looks super happy to be there. He's like, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob He just walked past everybody and sat at the furthest table away.

He was, yeah, he, well, you could see that like even Brava was afraid to get him on camera. They were like hiding behind the bar. You know, you could see the plastic cups in the foreground and Eddie background talking. And then on top of that when he walks in, Ashley is with Cherisse at the bar doing something and Ashley's like, so are you going to say hi with me? Are I going to have to say hi to Eddie by myself? Are you crazy? Yeah, she starts getting in order with Ashley because Ashley is insisting on meeting him and she doesn't get it Yeah, I guess but of course you got to meet Eddie I wanted them to talk to Eddie too. You've been talking about him for a year

Let us at least meet him. Well, I mean Ashley is trying to be a good reality star. She's trying to stir the pot But to me this is not this is this is not the time of the place to stir the pot like that I mean like that's that's like a serious pot to stir, and it's at this girl's sweet 16. And admittedly, it's being on reality TV, and Shreece opened up the sweet 16 for anything to happen by putting it on Bravo. But truthfully, this was, I was like, no, no, no, Ashley, no, no, clear step away, step away from the Eddie, step away from the Eddie. Yeah, but at least she didn't do it.

Is this the part where they walked over to the bar? Well, they were at the bar. They were at the bar. They're at the bar and they see them. And then Syri's actually does start walking over there with Ashley. The husband covers his face with his hands. Yeah. What happened? Like, he's hiding.. I'm like we can still see you stupid

Yeah, and actually some coming in the eyes of space and Teresa's like yeah, I want to do this right now Yeah, trust you. Yeah, she basically yanks ash the way because ash it was about to go fully up to him. Yeah And how no now I feel guilty for making fun of her daughter's teeth. Okay, I'm sorry everybody. No one tell her daughter that. It takes me a minute to feel bad. Okay, that's all right. I apologize. I feel shame. I do.

I do. The most important thing is that you feel shame. I do kind of because then the scene, what I just said, how her dad was hiding his face with his hands. So it's like, oh, Portiaice, which I don't like feeling. I really don't like when they do this on this show, where they give you someone that you could just kick, but then they're suddenly down

and you're like, oh my God, down kicking them when they're down. Yeah, I actually, I actually, after, you know, despite all the things we say, I do feel bad for Sharice, because I think it's a terrible, I think that she actually has two really sweet children. And there is something, believe it or not, there's something actually I do like about Sherees.

I just think that she's putting on the Shaw Shaw thing, which is really annoying. And last season, she was a total bitch. I think that there is a good side of her. And I think that this situation with her husband is actually really awful. And it must kill her inside. And I think that she's probably very sad on the inside. And she's sad on the outside too.

One thing that makes me happy with Serees is that she does this thing where she breaks into a of Beverly Hills when she talks to PK. You're like wait a minute And you know what does it? I would bet that hilarious. I back British Sharis over Shawshaw I wish if she said if she said you may know me as Sharis, but I'm really Charis I'd be like, okay, I like that persona But now I don't delete that. Oh Okay, I like that persona. But now I'll tell you that. Oh, bye bye.

So anyway, Shries goes and gives like a toast during to the sweet 16 and she's like, if you have anything seen, this girl turning 16 and she's like, oh, not good cry. Not good cry, shot, shot, nothing cry. That was cute. It was so cute and her son was like, you know, on her shoulder and it was nice

Yeah, okay FF so Monique and Hus Arrived at this new house that they're gonna buy we're going to go house hunting Ding ding ding ding ding. I would like something in the center of town I don't want it to be too close to the road I don't want it to be too close to the road This is a corner home do I see popcorn ceilings So they come to this new house which I don't think they're gonna buy because it's very HGTV You know on house centers. They never buy the house that's furnished already. Because like that one was obviously the rental.

Yeah, it was that they were using just to show and then they show the one they really bought at the end. Yeah, but this one's like totally furnished and it's, I'm sorry, to me, it's like super tacky. They have this big glass chandelier thing. It's like glass rose vines. Yeah. Oh my god, it's so bad.

And she goes, honey, they have the same taste as us. Yeah, and her taste is money. Yeah. I actually liked the house, but I felt like there was something off. Like I liked what it was going for. It's sort of like a log cabin, anything like antlers. I liked that, but it was like log cabin as designed by someone who's never been in a log cabin or like a Colorado ski lodge. And so there was something kind of off about the whole thing, but it was huge. And honestly that kitchen island, I mean, Cynthia Bailey was probably masturbating to that thing. It was so huge. I mean, when Monique was like, imagine the things that we could do on this kitchen island,

I was like, I actually believe they could do something. Normally, I would just imagine Chris getting on top of Monique on a Chris kitchen island, the entire thing just implodes. But in this case, it looks sturdy enough to actually hold up Chris. Yeah, this is not a kitchen. You can have fake marble in the kitchen. You can't have a gorgia kitchen in here, you know what I mean? I also like it crushed. I like that when they're watching the kitchen, Chris goes,

that's my favorite place! We know Chris. We know. So she walks out and she goes, wow, this pool is nice and shereces. That's like competitive. It's funny just because it's competitive, but it's also way much nicer than shereces. It's way much. Yeah. You see, it's competitive, but it's also way much nicer than Teresa's way much Yeah, you see it goes to show you that Monique is at least trying to be nice at first. Yeah Someone I think it was Derek Hazleton. I think ask why are we why do we like Monique? And why don't we like Monique? I'm like I I'm perfectly fine with Monique. I just love making fun of her

Yeah calling someone an asshole doesn't mean we don't like them. Usually it's our sign of affection. Yeah, I don't hate her yet. I'm actually glad she's on the show because this girl is gonna really rough some people up, I think. Yeah, I actually, I like it too. I think that she's totally shallow, but I think that I agree. I think she's a good addition so far. I'm a bit hilarious. And I like, I really like Chris Senn. I think she's a good addition so far. I'm it's hilarious and I like I really like Chris

I think he seems like really nice and smart and I don't know how he puts up with some of his wife's antics But you know Speaking of putting up with someone's antics Jariah jizz arrives at Kevin's house for dinner with his mom. Yes, no This was awkward. Yeah. Because the mom really does love Kevin. It was the longest hug and just just is like, y'all done. Okay. Yeah. Y'all done. And we met we met Kevin's son and this is awkward. This sounds really hot and he's probably only like 17. So it's like we can't officially say that yet. But

once he becomes legal, he's officially hot. He just looks like a taller Kevin to me. She's just as like, mama's never liked anyone I've dated or married in the past. But she loves Kevin. That could be a problem. And then they like, they go out to the back where they're going to be having dinner and he's like, oh, come on, sit down. And she's like, so is this your bachelor pad? He's like, no, I just call my home.

And she's like, ooh, I like that. I like when a man tells me, go sit down somewhere. I like what's in the man, but it's me and check. I like when a man checks me. Go sit down somewhere. Go sit down. But what I won't stand for is when a man lets me pay for the check. That I will not do

Yeah, I also like that. He's like whoa what a sexy bachelor pad. It's like to some two-story family home Yeah, I was so sure furniture that he still has from his wife. Yeah, but not a bachelor pad at all Yeah, it was extremely suburban Like this is the kind of house you get when you really wanna spend a lot of time with someone's mom. It's been flipped and flipped. So he serves them salmon and mac and cheese, which is a food network no.

But he made his mac and cheese, so that's exciting. And he gives them gifts. And she's like, I love Tom Ford. You know me, you know me, Kevin. Like you really do. Like this is probably the nicest man has been to Giselle in a long time. I have a complaint about this moment.

My complaint is that he served them their food. And then he gives them their gifts, whatever. And when he comes back out to sit down, Giselle is like, this food is amazing. I'm like, you know what? That's really rude that you start to eat before your host even sat down Edicates donning. Do we need to give you a picture? Edicate in a picture frame money camp by you class When a guy is this perfect hot. She's like when a guy is this perfect, there are bodies buried somewhere. I got to find the cemetery.

Oh my God. Yeah. The cemetery is a place where people know the bodies are buried already just now. Jesus. They're in the crawl space, starring the crawl space. I'm going to go because he might be shady. I'm going to go more than other people whose deaths I know happened and where they are buried. Okay, that makes no sense.

So we then go to Karen, going to have lunch with her, with her elder son, eldest son Brandon, who's also adorable, and they are having a nice little lunch, and this is like the flash smiles are happening like crazy in this one because she keeps saying things like Mama takes care of you you can get off of Mama's plate. What haven't you called Mama? What's it taking two months Mama for Mama? Do you have someone to meet? Do you have someone for Mama to meet? When is the time to bring someone home to Mama? What Mama wants Mama gets. I remember mama. It's mama's turn. I think it's hilarious that her first line was, I'd like the Calamari and the Fish and Chips.

And then we'll move on to the scallops. My scallop. Anything she says sounds so fancy. Look, Calamari. Fish and Chips. I think we'll have the fries, Alifran says. You mean the French fries? Yes.

And the sign, they, the old bitches, come learn new tricks. Bangs. Thank you. Bangs. You look so cute in those bangs. They're so cute. And it's such an easy fix. And they look really cute.

Congratulations. Congratulations. I'm proud of you and myself, even though I know and they look really cute. Congratulations. Congratulations. I'm proud of you and myself, even though I know you don't listen to this show. I feel like you do and I feel like somehow in some way I helped you out, you know, and that's my charity. So congrats. And you know what?

For as much of an asyl as Karen can be, her kids also seem very well adjusted and I'm happy about that. Also they know that she's an asyl. Yes. I mean, this whole thing is in being like, oh, mom! Mom, no, I'm not gonna dance with you. It's not a dance floor.

Mom. I've been faxing you every single day. How long does it take to have a lunch with your mama? Did you know your father took your mama? To see a house with a shit room in the dining room? Who does that? I think your papa did it to miss your... piss your mama to see a house with a shit room in the dining room. Who does that? I think you're a papa to miss your, piss your mama off.

Now your mama has to get a whole new display for her tube TV for the new bedroom living room. I mean, your mama is very upset. You say that he wants to size down and you want to size up. Let me guess. She's like, well, I miss you guys. Besides, you never call me. I think because mom, you can text. And she said, well, I miss you guys. Besides, you never call me, I think, because mom, you can text and she said, well, I've tried.

And he said, yeah, but you text with the microphone and then it always comes out wrong. And she goes, I'm gonna get Siri fired. I'm calling up Apple and I'm gonna get Siri fired. You know that's what I like to do. Get people fired. Siri can lose her job too. If she's getting it wrong, she needs to be fired.

We should also point out, I think it was, I don't remember if it was this restaurant or the previous one, she's like, the service isn't very good here. I have to pour my own water. I'm like, well, that's why they put the water bottle on the table. I'm going to see, yeah, she's just, I was skipping to the next scene on accident, but it's fine. I'm ready for the scene. Poor stupid garing. You know that Kalamari you're eating fine. I'm ready for the scene. Poor stupid caring. You know that calamari you're eating was about to be mayor of the town. He wasn't too good to get fired.

We're eating him right now. You know, I went to college with someone named Nick calamari, isn't that kind of funny? Sounds delicious. I'll have an order of Nick calamari, please. Sounds like a flight training man. If we were on a housewise show, we could say, that Kalamari has been overcooked.

Now, too, too, even be in my mouth. What was the thing that Karen was always saying last season, like when she went to get lessons on how to fly? She was like, I don't mind a little eye candy. I like Nick Kalamari. He I don't mind a little eye candy. I like Nick Elmer. He's just a little bit of eye candy. You're just literally staring at a piece of Calamari. Yeah, thanks. So the next scene is them at this hookup party. And you can tell Monique's new because she's on time. She's the only one there on time. She shows up with like her wine bottles and an aerator.

And you know, she's just, well, I won't give the wine thing because first, first thing that happens is she just shows up and she pours her wine through the aerator. It's like, which, you know, I actually, I like aerators. I think they're cool, but there's something sort of annoying about bringing an aerator out of your kitchen to a restaurant. I don't know why. For Charles, you know what I mean?

It's like you just can't even bear to have non-arrated wine. I'm like, bitch, all you have to do is let it send the glass. That's when an aerator does. Just let it sit there for five minutes. It's called new money when people do shit like that. They're like, wait a second, waiter, I'll open my bottle. I've got a new electric bottle opener.

It's like, oh geez, you paid $10 extra dollars for a bottle opener. You deserve a statue in the center of town, honey. Yeah, it's like one thing if you have it at home because it's sort of like a hobby, right? It's like, my hobby is wine and all this stuff. So I got all these fun little things and I'm gonna use them.

But when you're out and about, it's like bitch relax. Just let it air raid on its own i brought my own corn in the cob holders it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it bring the ladies to the hookah place because I'm the one who brings everyone out of their comfort zones. Okay, Ashley. I don't think I'm who goes so youthful. The hookal lounge. Yeah, exactly. So anyway, Jizzell comes in and being the bitch that she is, she gives everyone a hug,

except for Monique, which is, you know, so bitchy and yet so curious. I love it. I love Jizzell. I know people hate her. I love Jizzell. She's just so shit. She's so so shady. She and Karen, I'm just like all into them. And I like that Monique says, look, I feel the shade already. You don't got a kiss me, but a pound of flesh and elbow punch something. Come on. But then Monique earns her anti hug because she's like, well, I brought some light. This used to be 250, but now it's only 75.

Like shut the fuck up. And you're going to hear it too. Come on. And Robin shows up. She's like, hey, a proper bottle of flavored vodka. So we had left in the house and I'm poor. She really did. She brought some sriracha that was already opened.

And just as I'll says, you don't bring leftovers to to a party like you just introduce your mom to your leftovers, please Yeah, just like let your leftovers cook you leftovers so then Monique Is of course brat once again I'm putting away the brag about herself and Because Karen has like this back-handed compliment. I was like, you know, when we first met you and you were you were wrapping at the willard. I thought that's straight. I can't believe she's wrapping it over the White House, but you did a good

wrap girl. You did mom like it. Mom like it. That's what we are spitting wrap in front of the White House. It's like you're across from across the street from the White House. People piss there. Get over yourself. Well, and Monique was like well, I would probably wrap it to I would probably wrap to President Obama Like I did the last time I met him It's like the last time I did to Michelle when I met her and then she's like, you know, he is the most down-to-earth person ever He just loves Chris. I'm like, yeah, that's his job. His job is to be down to earth. He's the president. He holds babies. Yeah. When we met him, he said, well, I meet you.

I mean, if that's not love, I don't know what is. And then just I was like, I am so sure she's friends. Well, I'm just going to call up. I'm she said, I'm so sure that Michelle Obama is just calling up Monique from Alabama. Yeah, asking about. I'm asking about to spit some raps. I think she said Monique and and Alabama doesn't matter.

It's still funny. Yeah, I mean, you know that like, you know, because like when you donate money, whatever, you know, you get so back, you're back it up. Back in like, back in like whenever, when when Al Gore was Al Gore ran for president one point and my dad You know participated on the campaign at some point and he This like like back in the 80s and so we got like you know like a Christmas card that was like dear friends Thank you for everything signed Alan tipper and it was just It was like a generic thing,

where they write it down, they copy it. But me being in sixth grade, I was like, ah, Al Gore wrote to us, wow, we're known by Al Gore. I know, like you guys, it's like a mailing list. It's so busy responding to Bernie's emails. It has been rough over here. I mean, just out, like, he'll write me, he'll write me for advice like, Hey, you know, we need some funds.

And I'll be like, yeah, you do. Thanks for writing Bernie. So Monique, it's like when you get a birthday card from Wells Fargo. Like, yeah, thanks. It was like a warm hug. Wells. Although I guess there is a chance that Obama and Chris Amul is new each other because he he was on the redskins for a very long time. And that's like the Washington team. So I take it all back. They're best friends. They are so not best friends. I'm on the eastern asshole and I'm loving it.

So Ashley's like Skyler's party was real fun. And there is a special guest, cough, cough, Eddie, cough, cough. Just trying to tease Sherees, but Sherees is not, you know, you don't tease Sherees. She doesn't get it. She brought out Churris. And she goes, that girl of working her throngeth muffle, her mouth. I like when, I like when people use mamburns. That's exactly what she does. Mamburns. So she's like, I didn't get to meet him. I feel like I spotted Bigfoot in the Himalayas. I'm like, Bigfoot is not in the, that's the Yeti bitch. Okay, get it right. Not even sure if it's the Yeti.

Maybe it's the abominable snowman, which I think is the Yeti. Bigfoot is that's watch and he's in the woods. Bitch. She's like, it's like seeing. Bigfoot is Saswatch and he's in the woods. Bitch. She's like, it's like seeing the bigfoot in Thunder Mountain. It's like that's a wrong roller coaster. It's Disneyland. Why? I saw the Loch Mest monster in the net.

That doesn't make sense. Like the Loch Mest wants her riding the tea cup. It's like the time I saw the New Jersey devil in Idaho. See, you already contracted yourself with the states. How come that was from old Jersey? So Robin, Robin is like, oh, are you on better tours? Because I'm thinking of giving one another chance, but I don't. And Sherees is like, yes, well, better terms. As far as communicating, like, what are you talking about? You walked up to him, he put his hand over his face and he walked away. It's like, I said, hi, with my eyes, he

said, fuck off with his hand. And you know, that better. And this somehow, I believe, open the door to one of the more bizarre stories, where Sharice's like, am I right? This what happens next? Well, no, Ashley goes, did you talk to him last night? And Sheree's, you know that Sheree's is really pissed because she pretends to be on Twitter. She always whips out her phone.

She's like looking on Twitter. And she's like, you got not my nerve. You don't want the gay home back. God, God, not Sherlock Holmes now. Sherlock Holmes on Twitter to avoid a fight. Yes. So then Sherees tells a story of this one time when I was in eighth grade. I fell off a mo' bed and my tutu, thwoll up and then I told everyone I told my boyfriend that I couldn't have

sex with my tutu, throw up, and then I told everyone, I told my boyfriend that I couldn't have sex with my tutu with stitch up. So then I spent all of high school with people thinking my vagina with stitch up. Everyone's like, uh, Karen is like, first of all, it's not called a tutu. Mama says it's called a Vajayjay. It's called a, who, who, it's called a kitty cat. And then Jizzel has the best transition. She goes, so we learned that a tutu got broke. Monique, is there anything you'd like to share? You know you like to talk about yourself. I mean, honestly, you have to appreciate Jizzel's contributions

to the show with a line like that. Yeah, she's totally, she's totally bored. She's like, um, Sherees fell off a mo pad and broke her vagina. Listen, we already were there with New York City with a, when Jules broke her vagina on a window sill. That's more exciting. Listen, I just got, I just ate mac and cheese and salmon. No one's got to poop more than me. Let's just move this on, shall we? and no one's got to poop more than me. Let's just move this on, shall we?

So Monique's like, well, I heard that someone named Flauzil said that me and my husband have more than one home and we're bragging. And she's like, well, it was the third thing got to your mouth. And you're wine and you're air thing. Like you're so rich you can make air now. Amonique said, well, I only said that because you asked if we were homeowners and you've been the only standoffish person. She goes, oh, wait a second. I did not ask if you were homeowners.

And then they cut to the they cut to the scene. And this is the housewives fight that I love. Yeah. Once you say, oh, you have more than one home because she said that because she's like, well, this home. And then she's like, oh, you have more than one. And she's like, well, we have four homes. Well, I think that, well, I think what happened was was that Monique was saying that she and Chris were looking to move to Patomic.

They really like Patomic. They want to move to Patomic. And then, then just I was like, oh, you have a home. Like, like, just like, oh, you have a home there. Or something like that Jacelle was like, oh, you have a home. Like, like, like, just like, oh, you have a, like a home there or something like that. It was, it was very like, oh, you have a home and she said, well, we have five homes. So, you know, I was like, fuck this pitch. And so Reese is on the side rooting. She's like, Jacelle, doing what he does pick him on the new girl, but you go

together, my knee. She put down the wrong girl now, which is true. You know, Jacelle is very jealous and she always picks on the new one and she's always mean to people for no reason. But this girl is not going to take her shit. I love it. No, but I like it too because then Jacelle just does more shit.

You know, because then Jacelle's like, I'm very warm and friendly. You're not, but you're hilarious. Yeah, and she money says, well, if she had a problem with it, why didn't you just say it then? And she says, because we were at the Willard. Oh, my God. Not at the Willard, never at the Willard. Oh.

Oh. It's the flashbacks of Luan at the Cancer Society. Ramona, I can't believe you got into a fire with me at the, not at the Cancer Society, never at the Cancer Society. Ramona, I can't believe you got into a fight with me at the... not at the Cancer Society, never at the Cancer Society. The Willow. We sat in a hotel lobby and wore big hats. How could you? So Karen is saying, look, we just met and I can see why

Giselle is mad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but we had just met. I'm sorry. Did I mention that people tried to put a poop room in the dining room? Or is that gonna hurt someone's kitty cat? Ho-ho-ho mushroom button. Where the goddamn scallops? Do I need to fire someone? Look at me. I'm having to smoke my own hookah. Terrible service. When you spit your rhymes at the willard, the willard almost fired itself out of embarrassment. Spitting is not good etiquette. Not in the willard.

Is this a dance movie? Money is good with an apology. She's like, look, I'm sorry if I came off that way because I don't mean to brag. I'm not a brag, which I like that saying. I'm not a brag. And she just goes, well, I'm warm and friendly, but only when you earn it, you got to earn it with me. I hate when people say that. Yeah. Well, Karen also said, Karen also said that she has to earn. She's like, we're off this functional family. You have to earn your way in here. So, I mean, I agree. I don't think, I think trust is earned,

but I don't think it should be that like you get hit if you I mean, I agree. I don't think, I think trust is earned, but I don't think it should be that like you get haze if you're trying to meet someone. I think you should be friendly to people when you meet them. Yeah. Why don't you stop telling people to earn it when you're like trying to fuck men to pay your mortgage without a job, Giselle. How about you learn something? You get a goddamn job. Your vagina will thank you. So then the episode ends the Sharice Face timing with Dr. Jeff who famously brokered a pseudo piece with group therapy of the Atlanta ladies with Neenie, et cetera. And Neenie ran out and hated Dr. Jeff and refused to speak to him again. And then he came back on the

favorite Neenie thing. She even did that on the celebrity apprentice. She's like, I quit. And Trump is like, come on, Neenie. You're gonna quit. That's so sad or whatever. And she's like, you were nice to the star then you were to me. That was an amazing season of saving your apprentice. Say what you will bet Donald Trump, but that was a great season. That was. And this is the like, who calls this therapist? You're never gonna learn anything. Well, he's, yeah, well, it's funny. So she's, she's faced, she's faced on Dr. Jeff Jeff She's been seeing him for a few years and Talking about like how the sweet 16 made her realize, you know the way that she and Eddie were both in that room and not talking that

You know family will never the family will never be the same and holidays will be different and you know She basically starts to cry and Dr. Jeff is basically like well I just want you to know it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. It's like enough to folks that was the episode. There was even worse than that. He actually said, you know what, you're going to have to give it time to go through this. Make sense?

No, that made no sense. What deep advice, thanks Dr. Jeff, that changed everything. It's going to take time. That'll be free, but also a free ad for me for my therapy service. Which equals $500. Thank you for doing business with me. We have 30 seconds on Skype. Do you want to cry about something else?

It's going to take time, a whole lot of precious time, a whole lot of patience and time to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it right, Sherees. I pay my telephone bill, I pay my automobile. Actually, you don't. I'm seeing no proof of that Sasha now. I'm an independent woman. All the women independent throw your hand up at me. You're not independent. Actually, your husband made the best sweet 16. This is gonna take time. Click. So that was it for Potomac. Why don't we, why don't we move on over to our good old Krapins mailbag. That sounds great. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE networks to come no one ever greenlit it's like she is badly reading lines in a skyped audition what would that sitcom be okay exactly what it is now yeah Ramona is single and ready to mingle what would the name of Ramona's

sitcom be I think it would be called I mean single-rightion mingles too easy. I think it would be called like, Ramona on the town. Ramona, okay? Everything's okay, okay? Let's face it, Ramona, okay? And I feel like it was dark. So Ramona would be the mom. And it's like the opening credits would be like, she's the mom. And her daughter would be the daughter from step by step, the older one who was also on my two dads. I think that no matter what situation she went into, nobody else would talk.

It's like Ramona has to go to court for a traffic ticket and she just goes in there like I On the street Hey as a totally unfair it reminds me of the time. I went to this little place with my dad Oh my god, all right, you don't have to pay for the ticket just get the fuck out of here I actually rather than think about what sitcom Ramona would be in I like to think about what sitcoms would be affected by Ramona joining them. So like, perfect strangers. Like, whoa, this is crazy. You got some cousins. I don't even know each other. Meepo's, where are these meepo's? I don't even think that's a real island. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Where I had a cousin what? He touched my boobs on my sweet 16 and then tried to give me a Right miss call when he was drunk. No, thank you Well, this is crazy. They keep doing a dance of joy like I'm sorry You're too grown man. You shouldn't be doing a dance of joy while you holding the other man like that. That's crazy I'm sorry. Hey you Balculine didn't you get didn't you go through bankruptcy? Okay, why don't you admit it? You know, I read it in the papers. I'm just saying. Hey, why are you so mad? You know what, Balky? I think you're ridiculous. How about that? I think you're ridiculous and I think because of Larry

It's very sensible. I'm sorry if they class say Or golden girls. No, I'm not gonna eat cheesecake. What does that do? But give you cheese though. Is my right girls? Like nothing would ever get solved because they never bond over cheesecake She ruins like every solving moment by refusing cheesecake. Maybe she's on the Hogan family Hey, who's this Mrs. Pool? Why does she keep coming over? She's not invited, okay? Upstairs downstairs. She'd be like, look at these stairs. These are amazing. Like, you have to eventually leave the stairs at some point for this. The

servants can't get up because some scrawny old lady is like blocking the stairway. Different strokes. Whoa, this is crazy. I remember when I was a little girl, I looked at someone and she was a black and I thought, whoa, we're different and Geraldine Parts Smith came up and said, listen little girl, you're racist. You're a racist little girl Ramona and you should be more open minded. And to this day, I've never been able to look at a black person ever again.

I'm sorry, it doesn't make me racist, I'm just traumatized. So you feel like I understand what Willis is talking about? Why doesn't anyone, oh, it's not that hard. She did on your husband, okay? Hey, everybody knows it. Hey, I don't understand the facts of life. I'm not learning anything with these girls in a boarding school. You know what they need to do?

They need to get out and get a job. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but selling candy at Mrs. Garrett's store next door does not count as a real drop. I'm sorry. I could have had Mr. Drummond, but then I just wanted him to teach me back in the middle of the night and he didn't try and have sex with me. Okay. Whoa, you know what's crazy about this little girl Vicki and her robot body? Is that when I was a little girl, I used to think that I was a robot and then Jelgen Parson said, no, you're flesh and blood, you're not a stupid robot, you dumb non-robot and to this day I don't like robotics, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I like old fashion technology. Okay.

Push my button, push fashion technology, okay? Push my button push my button. Okay All right, what else is that male bag bean? So Laurie says how can you two not see how awful Potomac surely wait, I think actually I think Yeah, we did that already How about this from Benjamin Cohen? He says I saw that Bethany stalls her own quote unquote loot crate style box to fans It has it had stuff with her cash phrases on it and skinny girl samplers Bethany's box is lacking at home. That's an interesting use of words

I think we can help a fan favorite and listener with some love. What should Shannon Bedore's loot crate contain? So basically these like boxes like you know Dollar Shave Club or the all those boxes where you get like a box a month with shit in it. What would Shannon Bedore's loot crate contain? Which is by the way I love this question already. Um, a padlock you can put on your door when you know that your mother-in-law is coming by because all she's gonna do is stir some trouble, David. David? David, I have included four more bottles of wine for your next interparty because we know

David's only gonna get two for 12 people, which is ridiculous, David. Your own cupping kit. You start a fire and a tiny bell jar and put it on your back until you feel better. Here are some of my homemade mashed potatoes. They're always perfect unless David distracts you with not having enough wine and you have to finish them off in the microwave and they're just not as good David. David! A sandal ear that raises and lowers with a magic of Bluetooth.

So when your husband gets upset with you, he can rise and fall at the touch of a button. And if you order now, I'll also include a miniature foam tombstone. So that way, anytime someone wrongs you, you can just put it up next to you and say, here lies so-and-so, so-and-so, killed by so-and-so's awfulness. Usually, David's... David? David! I'll make it home. Headstone kit. I've also included a recipe for how to make short ribs without sugar, which is always helpful, and also a guide to the best non-gasher pubs in your region.

David? David. I'm giving you a calorie counter to decide which is more fat-ming salad without dressing or a steak fried and butter. Oh, and here's one of Dr. Moon's uh, and I'm us and you can stick it up your ass and you can determine later on if there's a piece of plastic still in there. It's like a little tiny Dr. Moon in every bag. You can test your husband to see if he'd be willing to stick his fingers up there to save your marriage. Or what else is in that bag, man? I'm actually looking through a gift box that we got through the mail right now. What? We got one?

We got one. You didn't get one. Oh, good. Yeah, no, I don't want one. This isn't your type of name. I know what you're talking about. But I will be in a face mask later. Spoiler alert. I'm about to look younger. Well, that ship has sailed for me, so why don't I just close with that mailbag and cry? [♪ BGM playing submit questions We read them on the air or at least bastardize them on the air

You just go to patreon.com forward slash watch for crap ends and if you donate at the At the mailbag level you can You can have your questions in there. So don't forget everyone. We have a live show at the Hollywood improv on Tuesday, May 9th, right? May 9th. It's May 9th.

Tuesday, May 9th. So keep that in mind if you're in the Hollywood area. And until then, that's only like a week and a half, that's like a little bit of a week away with Michelle Collins. So we hope to see everyone there. Until then, miss. Yes, and to get tickets, you can go to Hollywood Improv, which is Hollywood.improv.com, or you could just come to our Facebook page

or Twitter. We'll list it there, too. Yes, so thanks everyone. We'll talk to you on Monday. Have a great weekend. Bye! Bye! Hey, everyone. Thanks for listening to the podcast today. We really appreciate the love and support you guys show us. If you have a minute, go to iTunes and leave a review. And if you don't want to do that, maybe next time you're talking to your friends about

Bravo, you mention the podcast. Spraying the word really helps us grow and it means the world to us. Also check us out on Instagram and at Twitter. On Instagram, we're at Watch Where Crapins. On Instagram, we're at Watchware Crappens. On Twitter, we're at what crappens. You can also check out me and Ronnie on both platforms. Ronnie is at Ronnie Caram on both Instagram and Twitter, and I'm at B-side blog on Instagram and Twitter.

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