Watch What Crappens - #446 SouthernCharm: My Sew-Called Life

Episode Date: May 3, 2017

Craig gets into sewing, Shep goes to the doctor, T-Rav mourns the power of khakis, and Cameran buys a doll. Just par for the course on "Southern Charm." Come listen to Ben and Ronnie break it all down! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode is sponsored by our premium Patreon subscribers Madonna Hines with a sexy J

Chrissy D'Awardy and Mia Hanson Aloha! Thanks! To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air come over to Facebook dot com slash watch what crap ends and to follow us on social media go to watch our crap ends dot com to find all our social media links and for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about here on Bravo! Well, not here on Bravo, we're not on Bravo, we're just here. And talking about Bravo, I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBlog.com and the Banderblander podcast.

Joining me, as usual, is the lovely, wide-eyed, up-early early Ronnie Caram from TrashTalkTV.com and also was Prick's Bachelor podcast, which is making his triumphant return later this month. Hey Ronnie, what's up? Hey baby! How's it going? So good. Yeah, we have a fun day. Yeah Ronnie and I went down to serious XM to go on to Radio Andy, specifically

reality checked with Amy Phillips, who we love, who's been on this show before, to talk some bravo. Many in tongue. Yeah, it was super fun. And we met Dan Rather, randomly, which was exciting, because it was eight in the morning, and we weren't awake yet. And it was like, Dan Rather. So it was an exciting morning for both of us and on top of that it's also exciting because we are one week out from our live show at the Hollywood Improvs with special guests with Shell Collins. You all have to get a ticket. You got to do it.

Just go to Facebook. Yeah, come on over. Facebook.com. For slash watch or crap and you'll find a link to buying tickets. That is going to be so much fun and we're we have a crazy extra show coming up this week. I don't want to tell you what it is, but it's a surprise and it should be net so it's to be not so I'm I'm going to all on Ronnie. I'm I'm letting Ronnie put it all together because it's I'm like I can't believe we're doing this in a way not like a it's so crazy

It's like a I mean like I can't I'm like are we really gonna be a cuckoo day? It's gonna be fun and it's gonna be the triumphant return of somebody and Also, what was the other thing I wanted to say also Katie cuz orla's So are are often guests on on this show is gonna be on a new e-show called the Second Wise Club that starts on the 9th. And so, we're going to go to the premiere party this week. So, it's really a fun, crappin' week. Oh my God, so many applications this week.

Darling! Oh my God, I'm going to Palm Springs this weekend, and I will need it than ever with between the radio show and this party on Thursday and this podcast and then these extra extra episode that we're doing this that's gonna be so cuckoo and I'm like I'm like oh my god Crumbling before your eyes But the good news is it's very exciting and the good news is that It's Tuesday which means that we get to talk about Southern charm Southern charm what a show, you know

Southern charm we were talking a little bit in the waiting room at the or the green room or whatever at at Amy's show It's like when did these people become this awful? I mean, there used to be Chamis. Like Chamis is awful. Whitney, I guess, has always been awful. We do that. Shep didn't used to be awful. I mean, I guess he's not awful, but he's getting there. And Landon is just unbearable. Catherine, we've always been on Catherine's side, even though she's kind of awful. We've just because she was up against Thomas, who's even more awful. I don't remember everybody. I don't remember finishing an episode of this and being like, that was gross. And this one was kind of gross. Yeah, I can see what you mean. You know, I watched it. I was, but I was sort of

distracted during it. So I feel like my observations may not be as salient as usual, but I'm going to try to keep up the best I can. Well, it was awful in a very fun way because the show really is fun. And I have to say, the music's always been really fun on this show, but it's really upping its game. Yeah. There was a thing. Yeah.

They have music cues for everything now. They've got like 30 different things that they're going through. I mean, really good ones too. There was a really good music cue, I think in the Catherine scene that I really enjoyed. I was, when we get to it, I'll, I'll be sure to mention it. So we open, you know, the opening applause, Thomas is pretending to know, you know, what his children look like. Yeah.

Come on, Lacey and Marcy and Linus. Pacey, where is the Lacey? Papa's here putting in a, I mean, what is that? A minivan, I'm not driving that fucking thing. Where's Deborah to niece or whatever guy? Deodra. Deodra, go get in the commoner car and take the children somewhere. I'll be in the front.

Take the quadruplet someplace away from me. She's like, you have two children and they're not even twins. Why don't you take them to Hulu hoops or us? They can get one of those cool Hulu hoops that you roll down a street with a stick. That's what we did in the old times. Hey come to wherever it is that they learned that a margarita should be. Hey, come to wherever it is that they learned that a margarita should be Herodora silver a little lime juice fresh squeezed with Little grandma and yeah on top they need to know how to specifically tell them how to make their drink or it won't work properly These people Afterwards they can go visit Whitney's uncle Jera at the blockbuster Vigia.

Wow, what a difference. Blockbuster Vigia. So then we see Landon, who is just like posing on her couch with a wine acting like so fancy, with like no one buys. And then Fat Ass Chantsea, the dog. Petrish is like,

wow, I can't pick up. John's Michael's Michael says he's four pounds overweight. Man, I was like, just I was really sad that we did not get to see more patricia this episode that that was our only shot of chancel and patricia. I was like waiting for a full patricia scene. I was so sad about that. Oh, I love Charles. Yeah, I was kind of sad.

When they showed her, and of course it's like a martini first thing in the morning, you know, the glass is chilling with ice. Yeah, I thought she was gonna be back, but she wasn't. No, instead the mother that we got was Cameron's mom because Cameron and her mom show up at this place,

this guy that I guess Cameron worked with or used to work with, who makes creepy dolls. And so she goes in there to get not voodoo, but hoodoo dolls because she says that she want, well I thought this was actually a very funny use of words. She was like, this might be hard to believe, but when I was younger I wanted to be a white witch. I was like, kind of already fulfilled that. You are white.

You are white and you're kind of a witch sometimes. And she's like, what magic is always good? Why is use for good? Why does good things? I'm like, not on this show. Please, please just stop saying this. Until you have more black people on this show,

you cannot be saying things like this. What magic is powerful and black people built it. We always use white power for good. Oh good. So the there at Larry's house. Larry's like, welcome, Cameron. And it turns out Larry makes scary, who do doll things? These dolls, they're these big scary witch looking dolls. And in a rupaso, put my mother place canasta. In canasta, if you don't have enough people, they have what they call a tonta.

And a tonta is a kind of a witch doll like this, that they actually sit at the table and give a hand of cards. And when things don't go right, my mom's friend Nora yells at the tonta. She's like, this is why you're called donta, isn't it? Stupid don't that can't even play the Kanasta. Is that a good attitude? Yeah, gang.

Don't that why I always have to play with the don't that? Is that a Kanasta tradition that you have a tonta? Not always, but if you're short somebody, you know, if you have a certain amount of players you play in pairs across from each other, so someone has to team up with don't that. How do you play with tonta? I don't know. You play her cards. I guess she gets her own thing. And then I guess the partner goes over and will play her cards. And don't I stupid. Of course, because tonta's not alive. Yes. cards and don't I stupid you know of course because tonta's not alive yes it's a little bit to know that I don't that stupid don't that he's in a run that this is not fair

Alchemist gets stuck with the don't that it's like because we like watching you yell at it for two hours you always have a crazy story but this is one of the funniest of all time the tonta I'm just imagining just like doll there and just like yelling at tonta yes and my mom's like fucking tonta and tonta you trumped that's what these dolls look like so supposedly this one isn't good at cards either this one is for helping people you know you those they're they'll bring positive energy to someone's life. For example, someone who needs to find a good woman to settle down with. If I ever have to rely on Tonta to set me up or set someone else up, I know I've hit a low point in my life. God, Ben, if you ever come to me, okay, let me not phrase it that way

because I would never not be your friend. But if I came to you and said, Ben, you've been single for a while. So it's like years in the future, obviously, if you were single. Like Ben, you've been single for a while. How about I hook you up with my horror friend who's had sex with everybody in town and probably has every disease? He's like a petri dish. Okay, have fun. Why don't you like him, Ben? Why don't you like him? Please don't be my friend anymore Just dump me and here I know I know you don't seem to be the this relationship is having a hard time getting off the ground Here's taunta to fix everything for you Here I know it's gonna make you attracted a chef this creepy doll

Even taunta's gonna be like I'm not dating that fucking fool. What a whore. I'm not partnering up with him. He talked about someone who don't know how to play his cards. Get me to the revenue bridge to know. So next step, ship and Austin. They're having like shooting heaps with the bros, bro. Yeah, they like shooting hoop and it's like playing basketball. And Austin's making like so many weird mouth gestures.

I don't know what is happening. I don't know if his gums are dry. If his teeth feel like they're falling out. I don't know what he's doing, but he's always doing this sort of mouth. It's the weirdest fucking thing I'm ever doing. He's doing that and Chef shows up in khakis and no socks with sneakers. Austin goes, what's up with the khakis, bro? Yeah. I'm a chef. It's like, I don't have work jogging shorts, but I'm a country club all-star. Gosh. Why can't I play basketball on khakis?

Gosh. So Austin's like, how was the party in Chepp goes? I took a little filling home. This is why he needs tonta. Or mama Estella. I'm just sticking with tonta. Fuck mama Estella. That's Tonta right there.

Listen, if you're playing basketball with the khakis, you need Tonta just for that. Let's not even get to the love part. Let's get to playing basketball with khakis. Tonta's like, I would never wear khakis, don't I? Tonta's like, I'm not playing horse with him. Tonta's like, what's's next you're gonna wear black sold shoes on the court?

Tonto loves again and pick up. So they play I think they shoot three times. It's like two to one or something and We did gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh He's really winded they've played for all of like one minute and he's already garshed out So they like they like sit down like this. What's your life with sex? Bra, he's like no sex never last 10 minutes. Gar's just kidding He's like, no sex never lasts 10 minutes. Gars just kiddin'. So they sit down so the shop can catch his breath.

So he doesn't faint on the mean streets of Charleston. And so then they start talking about Chelsa. Because Chelsa has heard, Chelsa has heard that Austin took Austin took Chelsea home and he's like, no, I'll just power gosh And power is being a country club champion course So he's like yeah, well, yeah Yes, we're hanging out or planning to do things together. So yeah, definitely, you know I guess hanging out chef goes well I was like talking to where the same way you were.

So you should like text me for permission. And in the future, I'd appreciate it if you'd check with me first. What? You know, in the future, gosh, I think you need a permission slip. If you're gonna go talk to Chelsea, gosh. Fuck. And Austin's like yeah no and he goes well what are your intentions with this girl because I talked to her first and he's like

well I like her company and she goes well I like her company too she's probably a little older than you huh robbing the cradle she's like to me more and you're ashden and Austin which I really appreciated Austin in this moment. He goes, what does that make you Bruce Willis? Like, yes, bitch. Yes, Austin. Thank you. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, Chef, if you really want to Chelsea, you should have made more of a move. You know, you should ask her out on a date. Like, he doesn't even want her. He just went and fuck somebody last night. Yeah, that's true. Yeah But I mean, he was saying that he liked her earlier in the season, but again if you like her you got us you got to see it through

Yeah, yeah, no This is what happens every season. He always there's someone girl that he likes He's like gosh and then she's like and he doesn't really make a good effort or if he does, it's sort of joky, and then like, fuck this guy and they just move on. Yeah, yeah, I have no patience for him. And I cannot, speaking of Cameron being terrible by just spreading his disease all over the place, the fuck is up with Bravo giving him his own bachelor show. So, relationship,

is gonna be him traveling all over America to date different women. That's a stupid idea. What a stupid idea for a show. And I love Chef, but that's a stupid idea for show because it's not real. It's like, that's going to be a whole bunch of overly produced scenes of him who would be like, Gars, look at me. I'm like with a black person in Detroit now. Isn't this crazy?

Gars, different world. And it'll be like, Gars, it's a girl in Colorado. We're riding horses. This is crazy. She's like a real farm girl. Garish. Someone pointed out in the comments last week, a really good point. You were saying he's got game less in the last episode.

We were fighting about whether or, you know, arguing whether or not, Chef has game. And you're like, he has game and someone but yeah, he has game in that town, but don't you remember when he went to LA and he just sat down. I totally forgot about that. That's what's hilarious. Yeah. No, he was like, of course, what's your favorite thing to get at the country club? Personally, I like club sandwiches because it's in a club. Where are you going?

Where's you? Oh you go gosh people in a layer kind of rude huh gosh gosh gosh so next up Catherine and her Kia or whatever oh I thought it was I thought it was Whitney and Thomas going to lunch oh you're right I scroll too far girl. Scroll too far. Sorry about that. So with me and Thomas go to lunch and Thomas has lost his mojo. He's like, I feel like I've lost my mojo. I Used to have this pair of pants and I put them on and I could get every girl in the room To look away from me and my pants, but now They just look away because I see my face.

It's not the same. I feel like I lost my touch with Neh. He's like, with, and he's like, bro, your Thomas bro, mother. And that I could wear a pair of pants in owner place. It's like, I guess, you know, when you've got balls down here, knees and you're showing them off after 50, that's not attractive anymore. You know, it's like every girl looks at that and they're like, do I want to have to helicopter that thing for an hour? Yeah, every night. No.

And when he's like, bro, like, bro, you get laid more than most one year old guys. Like you are like, you got pussy. You put your penis in pussy, bro bro cuz I'm a bro I talk about penis rena I mean my my right bro let's get some pBR's hipster jumbo's clonron right bro bro or such bro's bro well I just realized that rena is boner backwards damn I'm getting old bro so I believe Whitney here start suggesting these are suggesting land in as a as a potential. Yeah.

Well, he's Thomas says I have too much baggage and Whitney's like, well, what do you mean baggage, man? And he's like, well, you know, my conviction and then they so Danny, him trying to hit on Danny and that she's like, well, there is your conviction. Okay. First of all, you're like 30 years older than Danny. Yes. So let's stop pretending that your conviction is everything. You also have two new children out of wedlock with a woman that you're trying to cut off forever. Yeah. You possibly tricked into doing coke before a drug test last year.

Thomas, it's bad. It's bad that here's what's really the problem. That your conviction for selling cocaine when you were in a high profile elected office is the least of your problems. That's bad. That should be, that should be, that should be, you know, the, not the game changer. That should be the, the seals, that should seal the deal. But no, that's, the, not the game changer. That should be the seals. That should seal the deal, but no, that's actually the best of your problems. Yeah, because at least people would know

they can get coke from you. You know, I mean, that's actually a plus, Thomas. It's like your whole personality that's wrong here. When he goes, well, if you have baggage, bro, and you have overhead baggage, and it doesn't fit in the bins. You just check it outside, which is saying like just Chuck Catherine. Well, after this episode, yeah. Well, the thing is I have my conviction, which some would say it's an asset because I believe in things so whenever I have to if I have to tell a girl I've been convicted

I usually explain it's because I have strong beliefs and I have I've been convicted of certain thoughts I don't tell them today just don't appreciate a man of his convictions people women of today don't seem to appreciate a controller who just has certain political convictions. I don't understand it But landen seems nice. She's got some nice Crosenest crow feet things on a cheeks to make it look civilized. I like it He's like well I get nervous around her, you know, but I need to find someone I mean isn't that romantic when a man's like, God, dammit, I'm desperate and I can't get laden anymore. I guess she is very OC.

Our class. I get nervous around her, but that also might be the cocaine I always know right before I see her. It's like, that's not nerves. It's a bloody nose. So Whitney's like, you can't go through life guessing broke over a chance. Did we mention that Thomas was an hour late and made poor Whitney sit there in that wig and those eyebrows, oh, or wait. I mean, this season is actually making me feel for Whitney. That's how terrible everybody else is. Yeah. So, um, it's time for a Catherine scene. So Catherine really like the music. Yeah, the music was crazy different

And the music was because basically the cat I think was a Catherine driving around yeah Catherine was driving around as like arm. I'm in the neighborhood like we get lunch She's like, I'm down down so if you want to meet me, I can be on their own down So they get there and I think it was here when the music was like, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. And then it like set the camera settles on cat, and it was like It was like medicine and like it was like yeah, it was like cliffhanger music

Cliffhanger menacing music, but not really it was sort of like funny menacing like So Jen's like well, I haven't heard from you in ages I'm just gonna for snowman. Yes, Snowden. And Catherine's like, well, I've been busy with a lot of things. I don't know. And she's like, well, we haven't spoken for six or seven months. And Catherine tells us the last time all this grief was together, there

were exchanges between her and Tom eth that were unsettling. And then we see the clip of the reunion reunion where Tom's like, well, Snowden is a nice girl. She's a good person. And then Catherine getting mad that he said that. Yeah. Well, Catherine, really, I know that you got an apple to brain at the moment, but let's not forget you were the one who dumped Snowden.

Yeah. Thomas, who you didn't even like and we're fighting with all the time and was trying to take custody even then told you he didn't like her. So you just start stop talking to her after she supported you through all that shit. Yeah. Are you just forgetting all that? Yeah. Exactly. And Thomas basically went after Snowden for no good reason. Basically, he just, he, he, he said that Snowden was the one putting all these bad thoughts in Katherine's brain. She's like, um, okay.

And so yeah, she totally dumped Snowden. And now she's acting like something weird had happened. I don't know. Katherine's got to just get over it. She should get her asshole. She's such an asshole. And she says she knew firsthand what he said and did to me. And also to her.

And then it shows Thomas being like he didn't let whatever to snowed. And when he was yelling at her at that party and she's like cowering away, which was disgusting, which out that into your baggage, Thomas. That was our national TV. You ask. And so she's going to yell at Jen, who's just had a baby who had to have brain surgery straight out the womb. I mean, Jesus. Yeah. And so Ed and Catherine, I think she asks Snowden like a prefunctory question about the

baby or something, but Snowden starts talking, she starts talking and then she just like loses it and she's like, I mean, understandably so, but she just really loses it. I mean, it was a little strange to me that she was losing it so much as opposed to when Cameron visited her. And she's like, yeah, you know, he had to have some surgery, but he's okay now. But then with Catherine, she was really bawling. And I couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was like

some sort of emotional manipulation going on. But Catherine's just sitting there like, oh, God. Well, do you want to go to it? Do you want to go to lunch? I mean, do you want to do the lunch part right now? Because really all that happened. I mean, we can talk about the correct thing after if you want.

Let's just go to the lunch. Because I want to go out. Oh, wait, this is not the lunch moment. This was just on the way to lunch. Oh, Jesus. This is just on the phone. I thought this is all, this is everything there was. I thought we were at the lunch scene.

Well, let's go there. Let's go there. Because when they, that's when they got there in the hall went Yeah, that's what I've been So scary about this lunch menu. It's like What happens when I don't take notes see I should have I should have rewashed again and take a note So silly no, it's all good. I knew I knew what you were skipping to you. Uh, whatever. Who cares? We're at lunch. Okay. So they hug and Jen's like, I was excited to hear from you. All it's always and Catherine's just like giving that like dirty look

around to the restaurant. And Jen goes, uh, okay. Well, I'll start. I'm not really clear what I did to hurt you. And she goes, well, when I saw you last within New York Which I love is that that's how they have to say it as like they're a veiled reference to the reunion when we were in New York And I was in that saloon that saloon hooker When I was wearing my bordello dress and you didn't even think you didn't even say how good my

dress and you didn't even thank you didn't even say how good my costume jewel really looked when it was vintage I don't know I'm talking like that for Catherine. She's like in New York you had you had made up with Thomas. Okay that's what she did because Thomas when she was crying Thomas said she's a good person who gave her a handkerchief. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, that's what Snowdo was like. All he did was give him a handkerchief. I would rather it, I would rather it had come from you and you gave me a handkerchief because, you know, I could have used a hug from you.

Yeah, and she goes, yes, but you know how he is and he doesn't apologize and she goes, does she think that was sincere? He forbade me from being friends with her and what's important to her? Having people who give you support or social climbing. What? She was the one who was giving you support. You don't even know anything about her. You never even called her one goddamn time when she was pregnant. She listened to your ask for a day and she went to bat for you. Yeah. Seriously. Alone against all those people who were sticking up for Thomas. She was the only one who

stuck up for him. I mean, admittedly, she's probably doing it together slot on the show. So she is a social climber. But what do you think? Catherine is also. Catherine showed up to a pool party and got fucking pregnant to get on this show. So I don't want to hear from this bitch. Yeah, seriously. So, um, yeah, so basically Jennifer is just like, I don't want to hear from this bitch. Yeah, seriously. So, um, yeah. So basically, Jennifer is just like, I don't understand why we went wrong. And Catherine's just sort of just like ice cold. And just, it's just cruel. It was cruel that this woman, especially when Jennifer starts talking about the baby and just like bawling, as I was mentioning before,achronistically and and Catherine just sitting there and be like um um you know if

Catherine were the one bawling she'd be like she just stood there and didn't even didn't even try to like hug me you know she would have had a chip on her shoulder. Oh this was just so painful to watch because Jen saying I was pregnant with a baby that could have lived her bad and I'm being super bored Catherine's like, I can't even I can't even I can't even like she says that to her. I start shaking her head. And she's like, I'm really trying to understand what's going on here. And she's like, you're not even listening to me. She goes, I am, but I'm also trying to defend myself and then Catherine says she well owned up and

I just need genuine honest people in my life and then Jen sobbing and Catherine is rolling her eyes and looking around and sighing and shrugging. Oh my god. And then Jennifer goes, do you want to know about my son? Do you want to know? And she's like, well, I'm waiting for you to be comfortable to tell me. And she goes, the day he was born, he had an emergency

spray surgery. I thought he was going to die. And Catherine's like, well, I'm glad to hear you. He's OK now, though. I have an Amazon Prime package coming. So I'll just leave you here. Thanks for getting lunch. Oh my God. And so Jen's like, I miss you is a friend and I just I don't even know what I did. And Catherine's like, well, she goes, you know, don't talk about that when you're, we're talking about your son, focus on what it's important. What a bitch, man. This girl is terrible. It was super, super cold.

So why don't we remind a second and talk about Craig. Craig at home, speak about Amazon Prime, where we get a close up of an Amazon Prime box. And I was like, wait a second. But this is not a Catherine scene. I don't understand what's happening, but it was actually Craig receiving a sewing machine. I thought, is Craig fucking Thomas to you?

That's like, you can tell he's fucking Thomas because they got 10 Amazon Prime boxes outside their house. Yeah, like is Craig getting a see through, Craig. Craig's opening cat food. And he's he's built it and then he goes, that never happened before. Okay, okay, Craig, we're all on your side, buddy. Yeah, so he's like, this might seem crazy to you,

but I've loved so and since eighth grade home at class. Sweet. might seem crazy to you, but I've loved so and since eighth grade home at class. Sweet. I wonder why his map is I wonder why his jock family beat him up all the time. I wonder where he got that sense of like he just doesn't fit in and he's just trying to be cooler than what he is. I wonder where that came from. I wasn't really playing baseball. I was just trying to understand the stitches.

I just would study the stitches on the baseball all day long. It's like a herringbone. Isn't that cool? What's a herring anyway? So he calls Naomi and he's like, what are you doing, babe? It's like, um, studying. What are you doing? He's like, you got news. I got something today.

He's like, I got news that I got I got something today. He's like I got news that I got I have a brother. Really? You thought of it. No, like a brother sewing machine. Craig, you know, those can beat you up too, right? I'm not gonna put a finger in it. God, Naomi. God, Naomi. No, it's like really important because I'm gonna be on Project Runway, you know, after I got my degree from FIT, Craig, you didn't get a degree from FIT, well, I just wanted you to love me more. I did subscribe you to fit magazine. You can't just go doing things like that.

I thought if I have a fit bit that counts. It's like a fashion to technology and broccoli Institute of Technology because I love broccoli and I love making it for rom come dinner, you know. It's like I've decided to write an episode of Lilo and Stitch. GB writer. So I started releasing a podcast on Stitcher because like that's what I'm all about stitching. So like I thought you'd be proud of me dummy. I've started taking stand-up comedy class. I want to leave people in stitches. Hey, I mean it's like you know you sound like a crazy person, right? And he's like

um, okay. She goes uh, I got to work. So I'll see you later. It's like haters gonna hate She'll never understand what I can do with embroidery You know what like I'm really concerned about nine. That's why I got into sewing because I heard a stitch in time saves nine I don't know who nine is but It needs to be saved someone's got to do it Is like a superhero nine. Like I'll say things that like not oh it's 11. It's like a really terrible movie musical.

It's like that I did get to meet Fergie. So I met Fergie, which is awesome. I mean, I thought I was going to meet like I didn't know who Fergie was, but I met her. I thought I was just going to get some beans, but it turns out Black Eyed peas are an actual like singing group. Did you know she knows Diana? She's dead. I'm like, that's so crazy. I thought Diana Ross was alive, but I guess not, you know, I'm going to go to Ross. Get a job there. I decided to buy a Ross. Yeah, they got dresses for less. So, Sep is calling the woman in his life his mom.

And he's like, more or less, I played basketball today. I shot some hoops with my friend. Yeah, I won. Yeah, I won real good. Congrats. Congrats on your three point pickup game where you won two to one. That was great. It's like I think you should tell dad this because he'll think it's really funny.

Gars, I'm going to the doctor. Yeah, he basically tells his parents he's going to the doctor and they're like, okay, well, that's good. We're in the Hamptons. So next time time call us when you have some more important news, this is really nothing special. Thanks, bye. No kidding. Did the capital one run out? Okay. Then please hit your limit before you call us again.

Thanks, we're going to go tour that windmill we saw on Ena Garten. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasive. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder-y-out. So, Lampin and Austin are at lunch together.

And Lampin is just fucking obnoxious and awful. This was truly Lampin's worst moment in my book. Because they're ordering food. She's like, I love this and that. And she's ordering all this stuff. And then she's like, she's like, I sort of like coming here because I don't want to tell people what I do because I don't want them to know.

Is this like for this is like for room is this like is this restaurant room worthy? I'm like please. I'm like, please. I'm having every smell. Really? She's acting like she's fricking you know Ruth Reichel over here. Okay, guess what bitch? Like no one cares about what you think about a restaurant for your for your website that

exists only on paper. It's not even up. cares about what you think about a restaurant for your website that exists only on paper. It's not even up. It's not even. Congratulations on learning how to install WordPress. Congratulations on like breaking new ground and food blogging. You're the first one ever to do that, especially in Charleston. Oh, by the way, did you see there was a whole season of top shaft that happened in your city? Yeah. Is it wrong, worthy? So even when the waitress comes over and the waitress is like, hi, y'all, how are you?

It's like she acts like the waitress is being nice or because she knows who she is. Nobody cares, Landon. OK. Even Austin's like, you know, she's nice. But I think this is just her excuse to get meals in alcohol and have investors pay. Which is what my excuse was when I started doing food blogging

I was like I just want to get free meal, but like I mean he got land is acting as if she's some sort of investigative reporter like asking trying to ask pointed questions It's like John Stossel John Kino, what would you do? What would you do if a food critic came into your restaurant? What would you do? What would you do if a food critic came into your restaurant? Fucking obnoxious this woman. So they start talking about what they're up to and he's like, well, you know, I'm hanging out with you all through a and she's like, and he's like, well, yeah, I told Chef and Chef thought, you you know I was stepping on his toes my broke the bro code and she's like They're just like talking about Chelsea's argument ship and then It's to go in In a husband they have a thing then it's not your girl. It's just your turn

And he goes yeah, that's what they say in bail, too, and she goes oh Bale's just like a stop on the side of the road It's fucking asshole so obnoxious Are you guys gonna get an ass bin and he's like maybe bail and she's like And then she starts saying how you don't really get to know someone until you travel with them Etc. Like you know, she's like the last three three guys I was with it like broke up because we weren't traveling Cuz your suitcase kept trying to lock itself to their wallets. How far did you travel down the block before they were like fuck this bitch And then he's like well, how are things going with this guy drew your dating? She's like

I mean, he's, he told me he's never been anymore. No, no, no, no. Like, how can me, how can the editor of Roombie with a guy who's never been to New York?

And he's, there's a park there. It's like central park. Oh, she's so obnoxious. So let, he's like, yeah, you're a cougar because you're nine years old. And she's like, I'm offended, but it's also a drill. I have never hated landing. I've always like, she's obnoxious, but this was the first time I was like, this woman deserves the hate she gets from all these people

I can see why we got that letter to crap and it's like that behind the scenes letter from someone on set Who's like the most hated person is landed and this was at the beginning of last season? I couldn't believe it I was like really even with after in there. She's like, yeah, I mean Catherine chain smokes and is like a total terrorist But she's not mean to people land andon is, she treats everybody like shit. And now I can see that side of her. Right. I think when she, when she did the whole thing about like, yeah, I don't like to say why I'm really here because I want to find out of a place as room worthy.

I'm like, that's when I turn. Like room worthy. How dare you? What is room worthy? Like a crumb? I don't get it. Rome wasn't built in a day. You know, I think I have an idea of what's Romeworthy, Ronnie.

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and it makes life easier. And it's actually really cool. Riding on, I have both you, Tello, Fresh, and honestly, I've mentioned it before, but I still will always reiterate it, that it really affected my cooking. Not only did I unlock the secrets of a pork chop, but I made it, honestly, some of the best cheeseburgers really affected my cooking. Not only did I like unlock the secrets of a pork chop, but

I made honestly some of the best cheeseburgers I've ever made from their recipe and it's like I've now replicated it many many times. Yeah, the box comes in like kind of it comes with all these cooler things to keep everything cold. It's kind of fresh. And everything's portioned out and it's a bunch of ingredients you're not going to buy when you go to the store. It's not that they're so crazy, but you're not going to buy all of these things at one time in one week to make all these delicious meals They're portioned out everything is color coded so you know exactly what it is the recipes are there for you also color coded It couldn't be simpler and the food is delicious It really really is so basically here's what you need to know. Hello, Fresh is the meal kit delivery service

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So there's no food waste. Employ a full full time register dietician on staff who reviews each recipe to ensure it is nutritionally balanced and all delivered to your food or step in a special and slight a box for free. It's like so room worthy. Yes, and our listeners get $30 off your first week of deliveries. Do it. We do it. We'd love it. Go to HelloFresh.com and enter promo code crapence30. Yes, that's hellofresh.com crapence30. And by the way, I've actually now had several friends sign up for it and they are all absolutely loving it.

So like, don't be left out of the Hello Fresh Ravoliish, okay? Yeah, so don't be going out to pay for meals. That's stupid. Cook a beautiful, uncooked meal at home quickly and it still looks all right. Crapins 30 is the promo code. Use it, use use it use it. So Thomas awkwardly calls London for a date So it's like the doom the doom the doom and then they start doing this weird tour of Thomas's house like we've never seen it They're like look a light switch

Do we have a table? Yeah, yeah Sorry, I got confused because I thought the next thing was Cameron with a witch doll again. Oh my god What is wrong with me? I have the notes laid out and I just keep scroll I think landen I'm just like make it stop and so I can scroll Sorry, yeah, no, um, so Cameron is like sitting on her couch in her like beautiful home and mama Stella aka Tanta is sitting on a pillow next to her. And she's calling about a listing because last episode Craig had said that he wants to get into real estate because he wants to flip some houses. So she calls Craig up

to be like, Craig, I found a house but it's like under contract. And he's like, wow. Um, so like, I'm kind of like sewing something right now. Like, can I sew my offer? Like this is escrow something I can sew into embroidery. You think that except an offer in that? I want a house that I could sew the roof on myself. Do you think that's possible? Uh, Craig. I'm just like, if you're going to buy this house, you're going to have to do it immediately. He's like, um, getting done in a stitch. All right. I just finished this needle point first in my take a few days. So if the house is still available then, then I'll know it's like a real thing.

Just like stepping release, et cetera. If I finish type, if I finish embroidering home, sweet home, it'll be a sign that the house is ready for me right now I'm on a home Oh God I misspelled it I got to start over I'm gonna start over can I call you back yeah it's getting serious over here so you know by the way today when we're at serious x, that when we took the picture from the step and repeat, when I said step and release, the hot guy laughed really loudly. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you think you watch this show, these shows? No, I don't know, because I said step and repeat, or, because I think I said, or step and release. And then he was like, ha, I was like, wow, the hot guy liked that. I wasn't even aiming at her. You wasn't trying to like, it's not my same page.

It's sweet. So she's telling him like, if you, if you want to buy this income property, Craig, you're going to have to do it really fast because things in that price range go fast. And he's like, you know what, Cam, it's cool because like I was up really late last night running numbers on it when I got home. So like, you know, yeah, I did like Algebra, like division, like long division. And like, did you know that like division? I mean, I know that like long division's long, but like I've been dividing one by three

for like five hours now and it's still just three. Like, when does it end I Put mountain pleasant through pie and then learned how to make pies. You want to come over for one? I Was I had math on the brain because I was like looking at no me as diameter and I was like wow That's really cool. It's like a circle that you put in. It's like, that's a diaphragm, not a diameter. And speaking of, that's where I'm going to start singing from when I start my opera career. I've already sewed my tuxedo. I'm aware of the opera. Um, it's got, oh, no,

I sewed a third sleeve into it. Uh, I got to call you back. My algebra was wrong. So she tells him, Craig, you have to concentrate. You have to do this fast. You can't just be impulsive. You have the bar coming up. And he's like, it's just a transfer of ownership. And then the tennis going and I just sit back and collect a check. Oh, Craig. It's called being a slum lord. Congratulations. Oh, Craig. So now Thomas, Thomas, I'm going to go for a date.

Yes. And he's like, look, it's a light switch in Thomas's house, a table like we've seen it. Okay. And he's pouring himself like the 10th whiskey for the day in his white jeans. It's like it's not been washed. It is like a full on pint glass of knob Creek with like a dash of coke. I got to get my mother's milking for today. I gotta listen to my possible future chain red mnick. So I'm gonna need some drinking up boys. Nub Creek. I'm feeling maybe with just spirit boy. So he calls it. He's like,

Heyland in Kuku. What's up. This is Thomas cool cool brother brother Hang 10 hang 10 in my right whoop whoop is the kids say So I was thinking that we could maybe hang out tomorrow night and you could look at me in my khakis and We can talk about architecture all that know, our class kind of stuff. Make fun of a Limehouse and her poor ways. Find a black person. Maybe we can go over that game where the Limehouse family got slaughtered. And then we went on that boat for that youngens birthday and passed the drawbridge

that the Limehouse has to slap the name on to like a bunch of losers Well, I'm going to fish tomorrow My friends it's a concert. It's like oh, I know what fish is. Please. I love fish little little howl I can go see a howlut concert that has that work. They sing, they put a microphone in the fish tank. Has that, is it an underwater microphone? Is it like sauna, sauna, sauna sounds that dolphins make,

like your sauna grams. You're gonna get pregnant, you're gonna get a pregnant halibut. Yep, those halibut are great singers. How man, I'll meet you there. You know what singer I really like? Yeah, those hell a bit of great singers. Amen. I'll meet you there. You know what singer I really like is a flounder. You want to see a flounder concert? I'll look into that.

See if anyone's playing nearby. So she says, I guess I'm busy. Maybe lunch. Sometimes maybe we can go to lunch. And he goes cool, cool cool lunch cool cool Fantastic cool brother I'm trying to think of old young things. He's like hitting a jukebox like the box. Yeah, it works now look at that daddy

All right, well, I'll see you at the soda jerk. And I'll see you there. He's like, well, I've been putting the friend zone. I'm like, you're in the old man zone. He's like, I just got Le Verne put in the friend zone by Shirley. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I thought you were talking about Le Verne on empty nest. Well, I've been LeVearned. I'm now

taking appointments for Dr. Harrow Weston, which is crazy. Ravin Nell should not be working behind a desk for Dr. I don't need an empty nest. I need a fool nest. I made a dreadful mistake. I thought I'd be investing in the driver's fund instead. I actually just got drivers the dog. Another piece of baggage, unfortunately, women won't like much. Guess I'll call landing again. They, they told me to man up and I accidentally thought they said man off. So I got date with Donna man off now.

Membranez, great actress, Greece. That's an appearance. Why jeans can't solve? I was really hoping for Gris to make nickel, but you know, I hear she's a lesbian, so you can all do so much. Oh, so Sep heads over to the doctor. Yes. And it's like a montage of parting with like the fake 20-year-olds that they were throwing

in there to pretend to like flirt with him and then dub him. And I just love that because I like when he goes, buttery nipples, I love buttery nipples, orange! Every man I'll just show is so sad. Yeah, so Shep goes in and the nurses basically like so How many how many drinks do you drink when you drink and he's like gosh? three four eight 10 to shots count 14 16 gosh

Departure nipples count. Oh 20 gosh It's the same wool when you tell your doctor how many drinks you have that you use to say how many people you slept with. You add them up and then you divide by two and subtract 10, gosh. Gosh. So, you know, I, I don't know,

like why I don't want to about what a worry is. I just don't get why people think that's attractive like I Fuck 20,000 people doesn't make you cute. It makes you sad dude. It makes you sad So yeah, this is just getting ready to go on relationship and you know the only men apparently in the South who settle down Or the ones who are just beaten into the ground by age. Yeah, yeah have to have Desperation so it's gonna go, you know grab a piece of luggage He'll be dragging around for the rest of his life good luck with that But this was all anticlimactic because I thought the doctor was gonna like have some devastating news

But it was just like all right. Well, let's let's take some let's okay breathe in breathe out. Is your liver hurt? No, okay. Well don't drink for a week. Let's okay breathe in breathe out. Is your liver hurt? No. Okay. Well, don't drink for a week. He's like, gosh, I'll take some panels. Bye. I was like, wait, we don't even get to see what's wrong with him. I mean, we know it's wrong with him. But well, he did say it was Thomas's doctor. So I guess this guy's not going to tell people to go work out. Thomas is still walking around with those skin tight white jeans like with his muffin top hanging over it from a year ago Postman in front of the mirror like he's got their Michael

So then we go on to Landon and Thomas so they they they sit there at this like outdoor. They're at a restaurant It's not swamp somewhere basically. Well, it's funny. It's just wrong. We're the Well, it's funny because he's like this is beautiful and I was watching it with Michelle and she's like it's a swamp. They're literally on a swamp. So the waitress comes over and she's like, um, Do you have silver patron? And she goes, no, we have whatever and she goes, um, is that clear? What kind of margarina makes you have?

We mix our own. She said like we have mix, but we mix our own. Because, um, well, just a splash then. So gross. And then he tries to outgrow her and he's like, well. Here's how I like my drink. I like Reposada So like a gringo like Reposada I'm not gonna ask a little bit of fresh lime Not lime house. We don't want lies of lime house in there. We don't need a lime house properties

I don't want to shut a loser on my reposada I'm gonna take a taste of loser on my red fat. I mean, I'll take a taste of lime house, if you know what I mean, but no need in my reposada. Top it with a little bit of grand mañe and no salt. She leaves. And then he goes, I say exactly how I want Goreida she goes me to It's like she's always trying to yodel. I don't know. It's like she's talking to you. It'll make me fucking crazy I think she's just listened to too much of dial, you know, they should try to like turn over some sort of like high-pitched car I have like high pitched car. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe What the fuck? It's like, you know that song by the luminars, that's like Ophelia, it's like uh uh Phelia, there's like a part in that song where like it's in the beginning where it's like uh uh uh, then uh uh uh, then uh uh, then uh uh, then he goes and uh uh it makes this like really weird note and sometimes if you I've had times when I've switched for radio station just as he's hitting that note and and you're like, what the fuck is this?

How is this on the radio? It's like, oh! And Rihanna does that too. Rihanna also has a few moments. Sometimes you'll turn on to a Rihanna song, just she's going, oh! Oh! Like, what is this goat?

Greatest of all time. It's like when we used to always do the Erika Jane. Oh! Oh! Oh! It's like when we used to always do the Eric a Jane Something like that right So funny so if I could if I knew where it was on my little my playlist has gotten so big with a different Different sound clips that we've we've that Erica would never gets old to me. It's classic I don't know where it is. So this is so awkward. So he's like, well,

landing on a shoulder dude like your jacket. She's like, Oh, I got it now. So he tells she's like, what happened last night? And he says, every girl I talked to was bored. And you know, at some some point what happens above the neck matters. And she's like, wow, that was a lesson. You gotta focus on what's important. You know, you just can't go out on the weekends to score. You need more. Is she real worth it? like is she real worth it? My dad said I should settle down and get married in my 20s and I should have listened to him. Like, or maybe in your 50s when you knock the bitch up or maybe go for someone age appropriate. Maybe maybe that's one of your problems. Maybe that's what maybe on a baggage.

Maybe you're just dating too many decades below you. Yeah, maybe it would have made sense to settle down with the teenager when I was 20. You know what they said, I keep getting old and the girls they stay the same age and little maccom. He would. That is so Thomas. And she's like, well, it's never too late. And he's like, what are you looking for? And she's basically like, no, wallet. And then she's like, can you believe Drew hasn't even been in New York City?

Oh. Landed. Drew more likes to, Pid. He's not the top of man to read the Wall Street Journal every day. Is he? I read it every day. At least the banner on it and then I just, I just use it to line, Kinsey's crate.

I mean, was that what you call it a crib? Here's how I imagine myself in four years, my nut will finally touch my knee and I'll know. It's time for my history. Guys and dolls, you ever hear that? It's a musical about guys like me and dolls like you. What do you say? A can never look at cold? Yeah, I've heard that before You know what every time I get on a boat. I'm like sit down sit down sit down. You're rocking the boat. I'm a right landing She goes he says well this has been lovely. We've had some really deep conversation.

Like, yeah. Like, when I found out that you like a clear tequila and your migrareda, that was, that made me realize we have so many things to get. I mean, we are so, so, OC. When I first, his, his vows, when I first his vows When I first heard you bust that waistress around about the clear tequila that you preferred I knew you and me were OC meant to be

When I went on that date with you in the middle of that swamp. We ordered some reposada. I remember to think to myself We don't need to drain the swamp. We need to drain my penis right now. Let's get on this table, huh? That's so romantic. So the next scene is the last scene and it's um, Craig. Craig is no. Greg is no. Not many people know this, but like I'm really into like rom coms. That's sort of why I got into no me because her name sort of is spelled like rom like nom nomi.

Romy come see what I'm saying. Get it? Not me. Come. I'm like a nom com. It's like when you eat and talk to nomi. So like it's like a romantic comedy that takes place in Vietnam, which I would have fought in, but it was like a long time ago. Yeah, like I would have watched Good Morning Vietnam, but like I'm more of a night person, so I'm gonna make dinner for Nami.

Because that's his laughing. Greg's idea for romcom is cooking a gigantic steak, carrying it over to her parents' house because they have a nice deck, leaving it there for half an hour. Yeah. And coming over and being like, hey, I got a surprise for you, cold steak by your mom's pool. Wow. It actually reminds me of my fraternity days. There's a guy named Eric, and he was into this girl named Liz, who later became a lesbian. And so we had this tiny little roof deck

on our fraternity house, like all the way up. It was like three stores high. Tiny little thing, you had to climb up like a little ladder. And he set up a whole table on this under a little date, and he set up a little table, and candles and plates, and he cooked all this food, and they went up there to have their little date, and she's sitting there, and she was tolerating this thing,

and we were all downstairs, there was a deck out front on the fraternity house, and we could sit there, and it was like, 10 of us sitting and watching the two of them on their date, which was awkward enough, but then a full-on tornado came through, and they're sitting there, the sky is green and she's sitting there like perfectly poised, hands clasped. And the tablecloth is just like flapping away and you can see it's like the truly the date from hell. So when I saw this, it just reminded me so much of Eric's date on top of the fraternity house. All those

messes was a tornado. I mean, I am impressed that he actually cooked things and then took it over to their house instead of just going through their freezer because, you know, I was thinking that's what he was doing, but he didn't. He literally says this on the way. After he talks about how he's like a rom-com guy, he goes, I'm a good guy.

Like, I'm a good guy. I'm faithful. I know how to do lots of random things. I just, I just hope she feels as lucky as I think she should. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha jobs and think about jobs and so things that would remind me about jobs. I mean, I don't actually do jobs, but I can do a lot of random things about jobs. Today, I objected to a, a, a hoe that was trying to argue with the baby outfit I was selling or sewing in the kitchen while I was like having real estate tenants call me,

like everything. I do everything I do everything like today. I put like a paper towel on Gizmo's head. And pretend he was a barrister from London and we had like a whole conversation about how like laws different in England versus in South Carolina. I was like really informative, you know?

When I told him I passed the bar, Gizmo didn't like take me to a tea ball place and like give me shit about it. He just accepted me. Yeah, thanks Giz. I mean, I don't know why it's such a big deal. I pass bars like every single day. He just accepted me. Yeah. Thanks, Giz. I mean, I don't know why it's such a big deal. I pass bars like every single day. He just drive down me and shoot. There's like five bars there. Like we all pass the bar. Like so why am I the one who's being held to a standard? So this becomes why you should mention we should mention there actually

was two significant pieces of Southern charm news, which is that Cameron is pregnant with a girl and Craig actually passed the bar according to social media. Oh, and third, Catherine lost custody of her kids again because she tested positive for drugs, but then I read the article and she tested positive for marijuana. Now, look, I'm not just standing up for her because I smoke my marijuana. It's legal where I am, okay? I'll have depression. But I mean, that is kind of a lame thing.

But then again, Catherine, Jesus Christ, your kids are in, like, you're in danger of losing them again. You never even got them back in the first place. And a joint is more important than getting your goddamn kids back. You fucking moron. And I'm not on your side anymore either. You better be nice to that Jen girl and apologize to her because you've lost me. And I'm a hardcore bitch.

I would have been on your side forever. Yeah, exactly. You're I still stick up for Fadra for Christ's sake. Yeah. Yeah, you would have had Ronnie on your side. You would have had Ronnie. Yeah, you guys. I just want you to know how lucky you are to have me.

Thank you, Craig, for giving me the guts to say it finally. I just hope Catherine it feels as lucky as I think she should for having a run in. So Naomi said something nice about Thomas's jeans. I'll never talk to you. Oh, my God. So Naomi comes home and he's like, I got a surprise for you. I got a new step in release. he's like, I got a surprise for you. I got a new step in release. She's like, Craig.

And so he's like, we're going to go somewhere. We're just going to walk this way. She's like, are we going to my parents' house? I plead the fifth. That's law term. Sorry. I took the bar. You have the right term in silent objection. So basically,

this turns into a fight because first it's, oh, thank you so much for making dinner for me. And she goes, well, yeah, thanks. This was great. You know, I was talking to Cam the other day, and she mentioned that she's looking for houses for you. And he goes, yeah, I want to buy a house by the end of the week. She goes, Craig, no, you can't do that. He's like, it's not like a short information. You can't expect to do 5,000 things and then do them all well. And he's like, you've never seen me not do things. Listen, you know what they say?

You rep what you sell and like, I've been really selling a lot. So I think I'm going to be selling a lot. Also, reaping. Yeah, I've also been reaping a lot. Yeah, I reap. You know, like, I've been reaping like his really big bucks and I've been learning a lot of new conception of them. Craig, you put the D upside down again.

It's read, not reap. Oh. Don't make me weed you, Naomi. Reef me, it's read, not reap. Oh, don't make me weed you. Me, me, read me, Craig. Yeah, that too. I can read like a mother fucker. So he's basically fighting that he can't do a million things. And she's like, no, you can't, you can't get it to ploma, get the, you know, pass the bar, renovate, fix your uppers and have a clothing line. Cause then he pops the clothing line thing on her. He's like, also, I'm gonna have a clothing line possibly

in this new house, not sure yet. I'm gonna call it Gentry bourbon. Do you know what bourbon is? Cause I'm still trying to free, I think it's clothing. So like, I think I'm just gonna take, I think JD9 just can make some like clothing at a bourbon. So she's pissed and she lectures him and he's like, look, I'm only 28 years old and she starts laughing

because that's like not really young. And she's like, Okay, do you want to be a lawyer or not? Just say it and he goes, Well, if you don't grasp it, she goes, do you want to or not? And he goes, If I want to be a special agent in the FBI

and she's like, Craig, because you don't understand my answer. If I want to find illegal aliens and gently put them in a truck and take them back over the border, she's like, Craig! Listen, Naomi, I just want to like work with that Indian girl in Guanamo and like try to just clear her name. That's all. Like I think it's like really important.

So she's like, focus, just focus, and he goes, you're being silly and ignorant and you're being kind of dumb right now. She's like, you're the one talking in circles, Craig, and that was really insulting. So you need to apologize. You need to take that back. He's like, well, one way I have to take back

to the house. You want seconds? Is that what you want? She goes, you don't do I have to take back to the house? I want seconds is that what you want? She goes, you don't get to talk to me like that. And I was like, there we go. Thank God. I mean, thank God Naomi is. She's not only adorable and sweet,

but also sticking up now. I really like Naomi a lot. I do too. She's too good for this show. Please don't make her horrible show, please. Yeah, although I think the show is actually made Craig Like sweeter I'm always not doing like Craig well because he's do he's he Hasn't had any opportunities to be totally pretentious. He's just

Building flower boxes and sewing shit at home and feeding gizmo So how could you not look good by doing that and he's trying you know I know that he's doing a million things and he has no focus But at least he's fucking doing something which is more than I can say for the most of the men on this show Don't do shit. Yeah, like at least he's I earns yeah, you know like at least he's trying to learn how to sell I mean maybe that'll come in handy one day. I don't know at least he's making an effort to do fucking something See this is why this is why people should have more cats, because ever since he got Gizmo,

it's just turned his image around. It's all the cat. Yeah. And also the girl, you need to have a really nice sensible girlfriend to talk some sense into you. So basically she makes him apologize and he's like, I didn't say you were dumb.

I said you were acting dumb. She's like, Damn it, Craig! And that's pretty much the end of this. Yeah, she's like, I didn't say you were dumb. I said you were acting dumb. She's like, damn it Craig! And that's pretty much the end of this. Yeah, she's like, what's that thing? What's that thing? So, fun times had by all. You do. Everyone, thank you so much for listening.

And be sure to support our sponsor and live show, come check out our live show and we will talk to you all tomorrow for some below deck Mediterranean. None of it to rainy on. Bye everybody. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.