Watch What Crappens - #449 RHOP: KFCya Later, Bitch!

Episode Date: May 5, 2017

The Real Housewives of Potomac get into our favorite kind of low rent fight: one that takes place in a driveway. Keep it classy, ladies! Our fave! Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/w...atchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-slashwatch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media.
Starting point is 00:00:38 On Twitter, we're at what-crapins. On Instagram and Facebook, at what-crapins. We'll see you there. I'm going to watch what happens. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Madonna Hines, Mia Hanson, Aloha, and Christy Doherty. We love you girls. Hello, and welcome to Watch What Happens, the podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on Yeel Brawls. I'm Ronnie Karram from Trash Talk TV, and the Roseprix Bachelor podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:30 And here I am with my wonderful friend Ben Mandelker, gorgeous tall statue-esque. From the B-side blog and the banter blender. Hello, Bean. Hello there. You know what, it's Friday, which means you only have a few days left to get tickets to the Watch for Crappens live show that we're doing this Tuesday, May 9th at the Hollywood improv at 10 PM
Starting point is 00:01:55 with special, super funny guest, Michelle Collins. I hope you all get a ticket because if we have to be doing this to a bunch of empty chairs, well, it'll be just like doing a regular podcast. But still, it'll be like a regular podcast with drinking and Michelle. So whatever, but come, it'll be fun. And then, I mean, I'm planning on hanging out after and swinging a few back. Yeah, we're going to work that Wednesday.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Yeah, oh my god. It's actually going to be actually a huge amount of fun. Every time we've done a live show We just have a great time. We did one with malls back in September at the pod fest. We did one last April where it was just the two of us no special guests and we had a great time there And then afterwards we wound up at pump didn't we not yeah It's always a great time. It's great. If not for us, it's just great to for all the listeners to meet each other and for us to meet listeners and to see people.
Starting point is 00:02:52 It's a great, great time. So I really hope you guys come. It's not only fun to hear people laugh. It's also fun to hear people grow. I never really understood how much I make people grow until we did the live shows. And man, I get off on those your own, and I make a really rude joke, and everyone's like, oh, damn it. How could you be so wrong?
Starting point is 00:03:17 That fills my heart with just as much joy as the last two. So come grown at me come on guys. Yeah come grown at us come come grown and if you're really nice We'll let you know There's another special guest Hillary Clinton. No, just kidding. No, just three of us. God. Oh Be like so Emails kidding Ramona would be all excited you know Emails I Mono would be all excited you know there's something about emails I'm a crook okay
Starting point is 00:03:46 You're a crook boo boo get off the stage. I'm gonna throw it to me. Don't okay hashtag hell are we for prison? Okay? But today okay But today, oh you know what there is you know, no, I'm not gonna tell you, but I'll tell you in another episode because I'm not prepared. So instead, let's go. I want to know now. As usual, I'm not prepared to tell you about that right now. Let's talk about the real housewives of Potomac. Woo! Potomac. I really enjoy Potomac.
Starting point is 00:04:23 Even if it's a little bit of the run to the litter these days, I really enjoy it. Yeah, I'm enjoying it too. I'm really liking the fact that the women know now when it's time to fight. Yes. It's very funny how these women are like, oh, it's a fight? Okay, so and so come to the backyard. Okay, and Ollie. They literally will go get each other and they're like, it's time to fight in a driveway. Yeah, and then everything It's always on a drive in a driveway, and I like had this show every scene It looks like it's really humid out and that they're it had just rained or it's just about to rain
Starting point is 00:04:56 I feel like at all times someone should be getting an umbrella This is also the only housewives show that we get consistent emails every week So the only housewives show that we get consistent emails every week saying, I've been to that restaurant and it is so low rent. I cannot believe they're trying to make that look like a fancy restaurant or something. There's someone missing some location that they're at, which, you know, I love some location saving. Yeah, I do too. So this week's episode, it was sort of, it's called me a fagard at first because it
Starting point is 00:05:24 just opens and we're at Mount Niq's house. And everyone's already there, the scene's like already started and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I was like, whoa, there's gonna be a good episode because they're already at this party and they're already about to start fighting and we have a whole hour to go.
Starting point is 00:05:35 And then I was like, wait a second. This is the classic housewives device. And sure enough, it was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And it's like one week earlier. So it's like, ooh, good. This is gonna be a good episode. We're leading up to some major shit today.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Yes, whenever they rip off a memento or sunset boulevards, you know, we're in for a treat. It's like, let's start with the Gen body in the pool, which equals, you know, Monique, or, yeah, Monique yelling about macaroni and cheese you know I mean when when Karen Huber came down the stairs in a turbine and a robe I was like thank God they're they're going into the sunset boulevard uh I can not believe someone has been shot in my pool what terrible man is I shall sit on this patio furniture in my dining room and lean back very far
Starting point is 00:06:26 to talk about how offended I am. I used to be in the pictures showing on the YouTube TVs. I'm ready for my close-up. Mr. Blackbulgates. I am big. It's the televisions that got tube. I am big. It's the televisions that got tube. I am big. It's the televisions that got too thin and rectangular like. I am big. It's the televisions that got smart. It's the facts machines that became digital and then my computers.
Starting point is 00:07:02 We're already starting off the rails. So what happened before, rewind, rewind, of coffee a lot of kids started with a lot of very strong coffee. Yeah, so onique. We see Monique meeting with her party planner, Leif spelled L-E-A-P-H. I don't even understand this one. Was her name like really like Leah, Leah Phala or something like that? She just like abbreviated to leaf spelled incorrectly. I just don't understand. Or Leah pH, like she never finished her PhD. So you just got a pH. Maybe it's like one of those weird things. You know how some parents name their kids is like a mashup like Benefer. They'll they'll just be like like the mom's name was Leah Leah and the dad's name was Steven so she just became leaf
Starting point is 00:07:52 leafin Leaf girl I just don't I don't you know she can't help it. She was named that but well Everybody else is made up their name. Why the hell can't she? You think Jizzo, you know, Jizzo probably doesn't want to walk around named Jiz either. So never mind. That takes my whole thing out. Blows my whole thing out of the water. But yeah, she's with leaf and her cousin Hank, who looks like he could give Cal a run for his money, because she's like, I'm going to bring my shady cousin to throw shade in everybody, so I don't really have to as much. Yeah, because the context is that Monique is gonna put on a barbecue and like a spades party
Starting point is 00:08:32 and we know game nights do not go well. If there's anything that works worse than a dinner party on these shows, it's a game night. And then a game night dinner party, I mean, it's already gonna be a disaster. So she has a party planner and she goes, Well, I don't want it to be too formal. Like, it's gonna be a disaster. So she has a party planner and she goes, well I don't want it to be too formal. Like it's gonna be a side yard barbecue. I'm fucking party planner.
Starting point is 00:08:51 You guys are making all your own feed. Pitta some goddamn plastic forks. And also I was like what's a side yard? I mean I know I can figure out what a side yard is but like I don't know I just that really bothered me. Between Leaf and Sideyard, I was already just discombobulated. So, yeah, Monique, so there, Monique sitting here bragging about how she loves to entertain while she has a party planner. And I guess her cousin Hank is straight because Monique is trying to set Hank up with Shasha,
Starting point is 00:09:19 which seems like not a wise idea. So he's straight and jobless, basically. Yeah. And she's talking about, I mean, he's talking about how, yeah, all the girls are great except for Giselle because Giselle has a stank attitude, which is true, but that's the reason why I like Giselle. I mean, Giselle is a huge bitch,
Starting point is 00:09:40 and you hate that about her, I love it about her. I liked that Monique basically gave us the backstory of being incredibly cheap, as well, because she said, well, we heard back from the agent, but they didn't like our offer. They were insulted, quote, unquote, insulted. I mean, I don't know why people act a certain way, just because of a zip code where they reside. Monique's sudden structure is becoming fucking fascinating to me. She never shuts up and she hardly makes sense.
Starting point is 00:10:10 And I'm actually really liking it. Yeah, I mean, I actually don't mind. I don't mind her that much. I do think though that she's like a, I think that she's a bragger. She is a crazy bragger and that's kind of annoying. But it's fun watching her clash with housewives. Yeah, that's. It's it's fun watching her do everything like a rich person like oh, it's in our side yard Not our full yard, which is huge or when she says things like Look, I'm gonna have some water out of my snake skin water bottle
Starting point is 00:10:39 It's like shut up a snake skin water bottle And this is why I think that Hank is her cow because he goes, cow makes no sense, by the way. Cow makes no sense in any of his dishes. And so Hank goes, well, I think that's funny. She tried to shoot you with a BB gun, not no one, you loaded. Yeah, I was like, that doesn't matter if you're already in shot.
Starting point is 00:11:00 I guess, I guess, it's so cow. I guess the idea is that she I mean I actually get I get his shade meaning that like you're you're gonna come at shoot me the BB guns Can sort of hurt me, but I'm gonna come and I'm gonna destroy you. I'm gonna finish you with my shotgun Or I'll be that I'll be the Hank interpreter everyone. Okay. Yeah, please Hank and cow. That's your deal So anyway, but then we never see Hank again because then we go over to Shaza Shaza and her friend Jazzette. I mean, I Jazzette. I I Can't I cannot it's like her mom's name was Janet and her dad's name was Gazette Well, they named after her there are two favorite things jazz and gazettes
Starting point is 00:11:42 Well, they named her after her. They're two favorite things. Jazz and Gazettes. We love hearing about things and we love music. So let's name our daughter, Jazzette. So they're visiting Omenim Amber because they're all in the National Basketball Wives Association. And Shasha wants to do an event because she's like the interim president of the organization,
Starting point is 00:12:05 but since she's leaving Eddie, she has to leave the NBWA. And so she's going to one last foundation, some fundraiser to learn about people. I want to reinvent the organization before I leave forever. Yeah, I want the organizations of things to go from to reach to Shasha. If I could, I would have it in my champagne room, but the champagne room is not open just yet. I'm starting my own terribly. The National Basketball Tha-Tha, so be it them.
Starting point is 00:12:38 No. Former basketball-lives association of America. So, so she basically just torn around this house. And her friend is like, you're not leaving. I just don't believe you're leaving. You're staying as president forever. And she's like, I will do fifth basketball. And if I make the basket, I'll stay.
Starting point is 00:13:00 And if I make it, I'll go. And she misses. She goes, she goesfah will go. And she misses. She goes, Tha-fah goes. Josette is crying in the corner. Classic Josette. So then we go over to Oz.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Oz, the old serious Toronto that the Ashley's running. And you know, one thing I really like about this restaurant, and this whole restaurant storyline is that there's no pretense about it. Ash is like, the manager'stense about it. Ashes like the manager's like, yes, so we just had the slowest week we've ever had. And Ashes like, I'm talking about how the reviews are just getting worse and worse and
Starting point is 00:13:37 worse. Like they showed a review that was like the e-mew is dry and the Kangaroo had a funky smell will not be returning. And I was just like, this is so refreshing compared to all those other, you know, restaurant things where people open restaurants on these shows or do business things like it's really taking off. We're going to take over this city with businesses really flowing now. I'm like, I'm glad they just embrace how shitty their restaurant is. Yeah, this is no Kenya more hair care. Whatever. So she's Ashley, you know, this is why this business is failing. Other than stinky kangaroo meat, Ashley says things like,
Starting point is 00:14:14 well, I mean, how I'm still I need help with PR. So naturally, I call Robin. Oh, good. Robin. Robin. Yeah, Robin just moved two hours out of town, okay. I don't know if that I'd be calling Robin for advice. Yeah. So Robin comes over to the restaurant. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Starting point is 00:14:38 whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Oh, that is the second glass it's broken today. I'm never gonna have a baby. You know what's bad when they're getting glass inventory, right?
Starting point is 00:14:53 I feel like glass is cost of restaurant, you sense, you know? Oh no, please tell me that was a Jewish wedding and not some of our inventory. So Robin's like, well, I've got some ideas first I was thinking you could revamp the menu and then you can invite the reviewers back out And then maybe you could move in with the reviewers, but like not have a relationship just like Co-parent the restaurant together. Yeah, it's important that you get the reviewers their space If the reviewers their space.
Starting point is 00:15:25 If the reviewers want to fuck you, just lay there and take it. But if they want to fuck someone else, that's up to them. These questions about the reviewers are getting really old, really fast. Well, I guess none of your business what the reviewers are doing. I mean, that's about your business, but it's not your business. Okay, two things. A, they can't revamp the, but it's not your business. Okay, two things a They can't revamp the menu. That's the fucking problem. Michael won't let them which actually doesn't even get into and B Can you just re invite yelp people back out? It's not like they were showing the the Potomac time or the Potomac gazette if you will
Starting point is 00:15:59 Reviews they were showing guilt as someone who reviews. They were showing guilt. As someone who writes about food every year, we're done on his blog and was when I was blogging more heavily, I used to get invited to all these blogger dinners at restaurants. You most certainly can always invite bloggers back out because food bloggers love a free meal. I'm telling you I'm one of them. But yeah, and let me tell you something one of my least favorite restaurants in all of Los Angeles is Mohawk Bend in Echo Park And I've been to like I just want there Literally, it's a terrible like I've never had a good meal there ever ever the burgers good. That's all I have
Starting point is 00:16:35 Everything tastes like sawdusts. Okay, and I've been there so many times and half the reason why I've been I've been there at least three times on blog or meals I went I went to like two dinners in one brunch and it's always like try our new menu It's always it's always kind of like yeah, we've improved it a little bit and it's always been shitty But I go back because it's free now. Let me tell you something that place is super popular And I have no idea why I think maybe people in ecu park don't know what's up. It is literally Terrible food I just a gorgeous space because whenever I go there, it's just like hipsters kind of having french fries
Starting point is 00:17:10 and looking at each other with their weird like glasses that without lenses and you know, plaid shirts and like little girl, baby-chained dresses from the 50s and shit. Yeah, I think it people go there because it's like the, one of the few restaurants in LA that has like a very large vegan menu But it's not a precious vegan place. It's like a cool place where you can get you know beer and it's like the menu is great And if you go there for drinks, it's fine
Starting point is 00:17:35 But I'm telling you I remember the last time I went I was like I am never coming back here I've I'm now giving this place so many chances. I remember one time they served It must be like Ben Yees, and they used pizza dough. It was like these tough red balls with like sugar on the outside. I was like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, pizza dough does not have Ben Yee make, okay? Everyone's.
Starting point is 00:17:55 I'm sorry. I mean, I've, there've been some things that have been actually nice. They do their vegetables nicely, that you can get like a good roasted vegetable situation, whatever. But their main should, especially their pizza, they're like try our vegan pizza. Oh no, stay away. So basically what you're saying is after you go eat there, you don't feel like
Starting point is 00:18:13 Gwyneth Paltrow and her vage just got steamed. That's what Ashley says. Robins like, well we'll revamp the menu and then we can have a gay event here for DC Pride in Africa's. I'm like, well, we'll revamp the menu and then we can have a gay event here for DC pride and absica's I feel like when it's found true in my fads, she's got a steam session so re-evigorated Somehow I missed that line of dialogue. Maybe I was already like in a mohawk bend space where it was like my eyes were burning with rage and But I do have to say no one will be more excited than a pride of Enidaz than Michael. Right? Ashes like, yeah, we'll have I mean, uh, Rob, I was like, yeah, we'll have some guys, you know, walking their shirts off with dog callers on. I was like, Michael will be through and he'll be the boy. I'll be on the one on the floor
Starting point is 00:18:57 on all fours with like a leash. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So ready. Finally, a party, Michael can go to and grab ass and not get called gay for, you don't ready finally a party Michael can go to grab us and not get called gay for you know, yeah But all the kids like you this old man touch my ass So Robin pretty much has the finger on the various low pulse she's like She's like I've never heard anyone say oh I want Australian food So actually it's like okay, let's change the subject. I want you to speed day. Don't let all this go to waste Cuz won't she did you know and One time a girl came in and said really trashy rumors about Juan. She's like this is not your issue
Starting point is 00:19:39 Yeah, Ashley's struggling because she heard all these rumors about Juan But then she doesn't really know she should tell Rob in or not. So she sort of decides to hold on to it, which blows up on her face sort of later. And she tells her, girl, you could be selling the world with somebody who values you. And then Rob and gets defensive and she's like, who's done what she did, found a man to sell the seats with. Let's talk about how gold digger-ish that sounds. Um, I was like, okay, I think that maybe we have unearthed, some sort of insecurity you have because that's just sort
Starting point is 00:20:13 of like a general aspirational thing you say. Like you're gonna go and live a happy, exciting life, et cetera. Oh, good. So she's already getting pissed outside. She's already getting pissed at aside. She's already getting pissed at Ashley for for starting this time. Now we get the segment of everybody's getting ready. It's like
Starting point is 00:20:32 I love them. I love they're getting ready music. Turn. Turn. Turn. Turn. Turn. Turn. Turn. Turn. Turn. Turn. Turn. Yeah. I like they're getting ready music on this show too. So Jesus doing yoga and her yoga instructor goes Now inhale your right leg as high as you can I was like girl. This is how they do yoga and Potomac
Starting point is 00:20:56 Girl you gonna choke you inhale your right leg. Yeah My favorite of that montage was when Robins like kids My favorite of that montage was when Robins like kids, come downstairs and like those hyperactive children hurled themselves down the staircase. They just like, they didn't run down. They literally like fell down onto the ground. They're like, and then Ashley and the restaurant trying to teach someone on an iPad and she's like,
Starting point is 00:21:20 oh, I remember paying attention. This is not a good idea. Oh, wait a second. I remember paying attention. Oh, wait a second. This isn't the accounting app. This is Grindr. What do we have Grindr on the iPad here? This guy looks like a Michael. His name is Emu I'm you.
Starting point is 00:21:39 You know, that's so smart of Michael to go on Grindr to get new customers for the restaurant. That's so smart of Michael to go and grind or to get new customers for the restaurant. That's so good of him. So our next scene is Karen and her sister Bridget driving and Richmond and Karen's like, what if I moved to Richmond just kidding. They were actually really funny together. They were getting, they went to a cake place to fetch a cake because their mom's 70th birthday is coming up and the mom has early dementia and Brigitte's the caretaker. So they're just doing that. I was confused.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Didn't they say her 87th birthday and then they switched it to 70 later? Like does she just... Well, it's funny that you should say that. I'm not sure because when they said 70s, you know, when they, this is jumping ahead, but when we saw the mom, I was like, I don't think this woman's 70. I think that she is at least 75, if not 80.
Starting point is 00:22:37 And I think that they're saying 70 to age down Karen. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be, I know that's like a really caddy thing to say, but I was like, there's no way this woman 70 Yeah, because she because Karen's probably like late 50s, right? Probably so I mean who knows, but I thought they I wrote down 87th birthday So I was surprised later. I was like maybe that's just how they respect their mom
Starting point is 00:22:58 You know, it's like you you hit 70 and you never go forward or whatever. It's like gays Maybe hit 28? Yeah. Either way, I thought Karen and Ann are sisters were super funny together. And I love like Bridget walks up to the bakery and turns to Karen's like, well, are you going to open the door for me?
Starting point is 00:23:16 And then Karen's like, well, I'm just going to walk slowly then. And she just walks very slowly. And I don't know why for some reason. I thought that was like the funniest thing ever. It's not hard to please,get you just do what she says The only woman on earth I would bow down to So Bridget is just basically a little Karen, you know, yeah, they're just giving each other each other opening door shit
Starting point is 00:23:39 You opening the door for me now. Well as it should be well you open the door for me No, you open the door for me. It Well, as it should be. Well, you open the door for me. No, you open the door for me. It's like, oh, good lord. Okay, ladies. So then we go to Shereesa's NBA wives event, and they're at this house, and it's like, you know, a well, he looked like a pretty well-heeled fundraiser, like a proper one, not like Katie's, you know, weird conference room fundraiser thing that she did. Yeah, it was the first fundraiser we'd been to that's not, weird conference room fundraiser thing that she did. Yeah, it was the first fundraiser we've been to that's not in a conference room. So congratulations, Potomac.
Starting point is 00:24:09 And I'm sorry for the loss of business, Maryott. Please, it wasn't a Maryott, it was a days in. So I love that there's some lady, so obnoxious, she's like, well, you know, these schools, there's so much pressure for the children now. You know what, we turned down said, well, we're the first person in history to ever turn down said, well, I was like, shut up. Yeah, that's a rich mom way of saying,
Starting point is 00:24:36 my kid did not do their homework. And now they will not be friends with the Obama's children's. Yeah. We chose community college because we're really loving part of the community. And you didn't need the homework. Well, it was like there was this thing that went viral
Starting point is 00:24:51 last week. A woman sent an email to a teacher and was like, hello, I'm going to I just imagine she sounds like Karen Tugor. And she's like, hello, my daughter is done with homework for this semester. Yes, she just has too much anxiety and, you know, it's keeping her up late and she is waking up in the middle of the night and she's just too anxious and she's a child and she just needs to live her life. So I just regret to inform you that she will no longer be accepting homework.
Starting point is 00:25:21 And it's like, and then apparently a bunch of like educators and child psychologists were like, thank you. Thank you. You know children. It's too stressful for the children's like good. Yeah, until they get a goddamn job, lady. Yeah, it's called do your work. You can. Please, please. Please this fundraiser starts out. I mean it just gets depressing fast and it just goes downhill So Sharice is talking everybody and she's like she meets Sharice. Thanks for coming to my fun waiver You know here's what I focused on three The wreath is focused on three and also sad thought focus on three That's two people focusing on three and vlog that don't think about Eddie I'm like oh good so sad. Oh, oh yeah then she meets a guy named she doesn't she
Starting point is 00:26:09 meets a guy named she's like you're three I'm three listen I'm not focusing on you three I'm focusing on me three hey we focus on me three hey that's three three focusing on three so then Monique and Chris Sharp and I love it Chris. I think Chris says higher to Robin. And he's like, you look beautiful as always. What a beautiful home. What a beautiful day. All of fundraiser.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Would you believe Potomac and those zip codes? And one in Robin come and one goes up to Syri's and he's like hey I'm really sorry about Eddie I really wish it could have worked out. You know I called him last week on the golf course and he said he was going to call me back he must have forgot that part. I'm sure he's because. Welcome to my life. He'll call you back before he calls me. Hehehehe. Welcome to Thoreet.
Starting point is 00:27:06 Welcome to Thoreet. Juan's like, yeah, I just wish you a good workout. You know, I don't see what went wrong with Eddie. I call him, he seems so happy. Like, I've never heard him so happy before. You think you can even want to be with you because he's so happy right now on that golf car. So, close away from you.
Starting point is 00:27:23 It's weird when I talk to Eddie. He sounds like he's getting laid all the time. I thought, well, we must be back together with Syri's. Are you sure? Surely he's in the proper mindset to get back together you because now he's finally happy. So then Juan and Chris meet each other and they just have like a bro man's right away.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Like, you're a professional athlete. I'm a professional athlete, yo. I used to watch you on TV playing basketball And he's like yeah, well I used to watch you too. So I hear you're looking for a house he goes yeah We were looking at a house, but unfortunately with six bedrooms and we won eight. We want to have more babies. Oh Oh Oh, well, I just moved to a bedroom and a half two hours away great to meet you glad I came out bad I came out
Starting point is 00:28:18 So then Monique Monique starts talking about babies and just going on and on and on and on and on and on and and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and and it's like she just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking.
Starting point is 00:28:33 She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking.
Starting point is 00:28:41 She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. She just does not stop talking. 26 months, you know, because they get it they get it if you talk to them They really get it they can understand you know, and then they got allergies and then they're snoring because they got the allergies You know garlic Garlic, you know, I never use garlic in my cornbread, you know cornbread the best thing is to do best practices 450 degrees in the oven fat on the skillet. Oh my god I love skillets have you ever been to sirloin top? Oh my god. It's great
Starting point is 00:29:00 We have like five solar top we're gonna buy one we actually own five solar tops and they're all in Vienna It's amazing Vienna both Virginia and Vienna in Austria, which is not Australia. Oh my god Did you know that Ashley's marriage to an Australian? I've been to Australia. I like kangaroos. I like those didgeridudes You know what I like dudes dudes are great you ever To be fair though, I feel like Robin is this type of person who's like a little presumptively like Because you know there's some people who if you're just trying to tell a story it's like Go to the point. It's like no shut up Robin. Yeah, you want to talk me read you want to talk more about all that nothing
Starting point is 00:29:36 Robin never has anything to say it's like well one came what is everyone talking about one? Because that's all you ever talk about So then Sharice gets up there and to give her speech Thank you so much for coming to life for my found basin and all of you have found a sense Give me suggestions on how you make your organization Fabulous because I'm struggling to rebrand this organization. And you know, everyone says the NBA wives have money.
Starting point is 00:30:10 We don't have money. And I'm rebranding myself too. I want a new chapter, a huge chapter. It's bigger than you think that chapter. Because I've to stop one of my names. I'm like, oh my god. David, faster wall has got nothing on my chapter. What is wrong with her? And they just keep panning the audience and they're like oh
Starting point is 00:30:33 She was fully like Having a therapeutic moment and it was so awkward because she was parading out all her faults She's like I'm really bad at rebranding and I need help and you guys are rich. Can you guys help me please? I'm a new person. I'm like, I'm just new person. Bon Appetit everyone.
Starting point is 00:30:51 And it's like, oh, why are you announcing that you need to rebrand their organization? What is wrong with this? Like you're criticizing the organization while you're giving your, oh, it's just so awkward. Even Monique is like, I'm'm in lots of words for once. That's a great speech. Well, I'm going to see you in the Champagne Room afterwards.
Starting point is 00:31:13 It's not done yet. Why can't I? Can someone give me some pointers on how to finish the Champagne Room? Guys, A button need a jet print. So Monique over dinner starts a grilling One in Robin. She's like, whoa when you guys get to get back together. You seem so great together Everything is gonna be great. Like how did you meet? And she says well, I was dating Chris's high school sweetheart And I was like, you know, but that girl and then when he was done with her I jumped on it because I was like this great or whatever and the husband's like yeah. Oh, no She was say she was she was dating someone else. I'm so it because I was like, this is great or whatever. And the husband's like, oh no, she was saying,
Starting point is 00:31:46 she was dating someone else. I'm so sorry, I messed that up. And the husband goes, I couldn't wait to see her dump that little dude. By the way, we should also mention that Robin at one point turns the one's like, huh, there's some makeup on your blazer. There's a woman somewhere that's missing some makeup.
Starting point is 00:32:08 And he's like, uh, yeah. So anyway, Robin's getting, Robin's getting in the way. How would you get makeup on your blazers? Like, whatever, we're not dating. Okay, sorry, one, one. So then, so basically, you know, Monika's asking about them and their marriage and Juan saying things like,
Starting point is 00:32:30 yeah, trust is hard and once you lose it, it's hard to get it back and Robin's like, well, should you keep asking me about it? I'm like, you know what, Robin, if you don't want people to ask about it, don't bring Juan, you know, as your date everywhere, like, I don't know, it's kind of like, it's awkward.
Starting point is 00:32:44 It's not that she's putting it out there, but it's kind of, I don't know. You know, I give one, I give one props for actually showing up to things, because he does show up to two things this episode and usually he doesn't. So at least he's making an effort to be supportive, even though both of these involve the rich, more famous sports person, like, but you know, I'll put that aside and say at least he's trying, but this conversation was really sad because Monique and the husband are talking about
Starting point is 00:33:11 how they want more babies and how they're just so in love. And Robbins like, this is such a good example of what a marriage should be. And Ron wants like, yeah, well, that's a good story. We got married way too soon. I mean, we were 26, we were just babies, but it's her fault. She's and Robin goes, well, being an athlete, you know, you're always catered to and sometimes it takes retirement for people to really realize what they have. And everybody's just like awkward because he's still. Yeah, he just retired and he's still not even making any kind of effort.
Starting point is 00:33:44 because he's still, he just retired and he's still not even making any kind of effort. One thing I like about Juan is that he, A, he looks really good in the seat, but at the same time when he wears a suit, he looks like a little boy wearing grown-up clothes. It's so funny. There's something about like, it's like his neck. It's something about the collar. It's like, you see him on, like, he looks like uncomfortable and then like two minutes into this party, the tie was already coming loose and like hanging loose strangely. Yeah, before he did it like a 13 year old.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Yeah, he did and before Chris got there, he was literally hiding in a corner in the dark alone. Yeah, like I'm showing him. He only came out to talk to Chris. So then, so then we go over to Jazeal who is having a lunch in with the business partners for her skincare makeup thing, whatever, every hue beauty. And I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure one of her business partners is Jill Biden. I was like, how did she get involved with this?
Starting point is 00:34:38 What is Jill Biden doing with messing around with Jazeal's like skincare line? I was like, look, I'm one of the 12 shades. I was like, good for you, Giselle. Again, Jill Biden on your side. I thought we were going to meet at the Walden. What was it called? The Wilrington? No, no, it's the Willard. Oh, the Willard. I just think of Willard Scott. It's something strange about this hotel. It keeps on saying happy birthday to old ladies. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest
Starting point is 00:35:20 and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownal are, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong.
Starting point is 00:35:40 What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. We have to interrupt T-Service to announce Greta Van Gragla from
Starting point is 00:36:07 From butterscotch falls in Dakota is 103 years old today. Happy birthday Greta Van Gragla So Jazeal has her friends and basically she's she met this girl in the main business lady in sorority and the soror she starts telling a story of the lady she's like man Jacelle hated me at first you know I went to her house and she said I hate you and I'm gonna kill you tonight and I thought is she really gonna kill me? I was like wow well Jacelle you gotta give the woman consistency points. Yeah. I mean, you got to give the woman consistency points. Yeah. I mean, Jizelle meets people like that.
Starting point is 00:36:47 Yeah, life is still a sorority for Jizelle. So that was basically that. They just were talking about how Jizelle's a bitch went to New people. Yeah, and they're going over the business and Jizelle's like, I'm doing this because I want to show my kids that mommy can start a business. She doesn't need to rely on a man like some people named Monique, who just has to rely on a man for everything she does.
Starting point is 00:37:10 And it's important I make my own money. And she cut to the white stove. And she's like, I don't want my livelihood to be defined or what my husband gives me like Monique. Oh yeah, you got that house? Yeah, you got it because you're a famous husband. Bitch, have you ever worked a damn day in your life? Everything you've been given is from your husband.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Please stand back. You're just jealous that your husband gave you a white stove and this business has five full on stainless steel pizza ovens. Yeah, exactly. Just now. I agree with everything you say, except I like it. I have grown to appreciate the woman who is a bitch the new girl on these shows because without them you wouldn't have any drama.
Starting point is 00:37:52 I mean, this is the classic Vicki Gundelson here. I mean, it is. Where would we be with that Vicki Gundelson? Maybe it helps a lady as a society, but not a happier place. Yeah. one thing I'm really learning to appreciate about Jacelle is that she will always choose wrong. Everything she says is terrible. And then even if she, like she'll be a total hypocrite and not even see it. And then she'll say some of the lamest burns, which we'll get to later. But it's like consistent every week. And you know what? I've got to,. But I can be persistent every week. And you know what, I've got to say I appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:38:28 And this show really would be boring without this bitch. So I hate you. The opposite, which is that I think that her her shade is hilarious. I think she is so funny. So even though she is so like, Cady and me. The stuff she says in her interviews cracks me up almost every single time. I'm like, you're about to get, you're about to hit gold
Starting point is 00:38:49 because she's got a bunch of them today. So, money is prepping her party. And she says, oh, do I skip something, babe? I think it was Karen's birthday party. I just skip right now. It was fun, it was, it was pretty short. It was actually a very lovely scene, you know. It was like short. It's actually very lovely scene. You know, it's like It was like a very normal birthday party, you know, they brought in this nice cake the mom comes in and she was in like a lucid place
Starting point is 00:39:16 Like hi mama and then she starts she starts giving sit to Ray she goes You know from what do to remember from day one I said to you what are you doing here with my young daughter and he's like she goes remember when I called you dirty means like well I passed this woman chopping down tobacco as she goes she didn't chop down no tobacco Karen was demanding and she goes mother I was not demanding she goes you wanted that fake fur and you pushed Bridget right into the dresser I was I can see I didn't push her I didn't to. It's just that she was a little bit chunky and she slipped. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And I knew I wanted to be something and if it weren't for my mother, well, I wouldn't be where I am today. I'm like, where are you today? What are you? What do you do? You like you drive around picking up cakes?
Starting point is 00:40:33 You're leaning back in a patio chair in your dining room being a bitch to people for no reason. Where exactly are you again? Yeah So then we go over to Gisele's house, where she's making popovers, sort of a surprising twist. And Robin comes over and she's like, oh, she reached out of speech and it was like really sad. And I'm supposed to be the sad one. So like, I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:40:58 One popovers. It's like what one does at our house. And sometimes he's there and sometimes he's not It'll just pop over pick up some clean underwear and leave So if you open up the oven if you open up the oven too soon everything's ruined Then she starts talking about she's so she's talking about how Sharice was like in a strange place and she's like Monique talks a lot. It's like Salilla queues.
Starting point is 00:41:28 I mean, that impressed me. I'm me too. I was like, OK. So then, um, so then we cut over to Monique. And now Monique is getting ready for her party. She's making some mac and cheese and she's there with her friend, Gigi, who is hilarious. We saw her earlier this season and she was very funny. And Monique is talking about the girls and how they're all pretty good like she's like as she really likes the girls and she likes them because they're all her mom's age, which is shady And that the only one she has a problem with is Giselle and she says well, actually, you know, Ashley's younger She's 27 but she's married to a really old guy and Gigi goes, oh, he must be rich because whenever someone young
Starting point is 00:42:06 is with an old guy, it's because of their money and she goes, please, you date rich men all the time, you date senior citizens all the time and Gigi goes, yeah, but I got daddy issues. Yeah. She's like, let me have that. So that was super funny. I think actually Monique and Gigi are really funny together. Gigi's hilarious. It's like, well, I'm not dating rich old guys. I'm
Starting point is 00:42:28 dating poor old guys. It's different. And then it cuts to Chiselle and Robin and Robin's like, are you gonna go to game night? Chiselle, yes, but I don't have high expectations. Maybe I was too quick to judge Monique. You know, maybe it'll be different when I see her in Chris Daniels home. And yeah, you got the, or Chris, Saniels home, yet you got that right because you didn't get your husband, you didn't get that home, your husband got that. Yeah, it's gonna go great. She's. Yeah, something, yeah, something of a real open mind. So then Monique was, Monique is telling Gigi about
Starting point is 00:43:01 how, you know, Jezele was annoyed at her for making the five house comment like that I own five houses. And so, Jacelle is like, is she a renter? Because only if someone who rants would be annoyed by that. That's a good call. She's got something. Yeah, that's a good call. She sounds like Ronnie.
Starting point is 00:43:18 She's got that Ronnie skepticism going. Yes, with people like Jacelle, it never goes off. It's constantly on. So, maybe she's coming extra because she wants my lifestyle. I mean side yard. Maureen. Side yard, guys. I mean, she got that side yard going. She is trying to judge a book by its cover, but girl, don't read my pages because I know how to do things So then that means that you want her to judge it by the cover Or just not to go out the shop
Starting point is 00:43:56 I like my neigmore every scene Check out my bibliography because they all say Vienna Virginia. She's like well She better come better come correct. And don't act stupid, reading my pages. She better get close, because our fingers are gonna get chopped off. I ain't playing. I was like, okay, my dream. She could try to read my pages, but the joke's on her.
Starting point is 00:44:12 It's a picture book. So Ray and Karen arrive and Chris is like, oh man. And I love how Ray shows up in like old man khakis, like the ones that like my dad will wear, you know, like hiked up real high. His big old man booties sticking out. I'm like, I love you Ray.
Starting point is 00:44:32 He just seems like the sweetest man. He seems smart. He's like very well mannered. I think he's just adorable and he should not be on this show at all. I actually, he makes me like Karen Moore because I actually believe that they have like a really adorable relationship but she's just so when she's like away from him she's crazy. You know Karen
Starting point is 00:44:50 Karen is actually way more enjoyable to me this season and also I think it is Ray too but just the fact that she's so full of shit and then she's also the most ghetto when she gets dirty you know and also I like her shade like she walks in she She's like, hello, what a lovely home. I love that you have an aquarium and the kitchen. Oh my God. Karen, I actually think Karen is a gift to reality TV and I feel like she hasn't been properly appreciated by the masses just yet. I'm really happy she's here. We could use another classy woman in 93510. 577 dash 432. Oh, Nick's like, why the zip codes?
Starting point is 00:45:38 So, um, uh, so Jacelle shows up and she's brought Cal. Cal famously, who dared to go upstairs in the Shawshaws house season one. I'm like, oh, he's the, he's the shade, he's the master of the shade on this, on this show. I don't think, I don't understand what the hell he's talking, right? And Jacelle too, they both walk in just being rude
Starting point is 00:45:57 just to be rude and they're coming up with all this nonsense. He's like, what's this driveway? And she's like, huh, we never never land Grocks of rocks in the driveway Pebbles someone take us back to bed rocks. I see a lot of pebbles. You know what I'm saying. Look at this grass in the yard Leaves on the tree. I'd like to see that tree in autumn What is life on the sidewalk everybody's's stupid who comes here. Can't see the sidewalk.
Starting point is 00:46:27 Black guys. I don't see any stars in tribal. I don't know why they call this a flagstone. It's going after everything. Blaze a grass. Guess what? I can step on a knockout cut. It's not a blade to me.
Starting point is 00:46:38 So she comes in and she's always a full on bitch here. And I'm not going to knockout. Yeah, of course. full bitch full bitch. So Monique hugs Cal. She's like, hi, my hugger. I really like hugging tight loose. I don't care. Hug.
Starting point is 00:46:53 I'm all of my five houses. There's not a single hug that's any worse than any of the five houses. So she introduces them to Gigi and just else like, nice to meet you. And then looks away. It looks away. It was, it was very cool, very, very cool. And she does not know who she's fucking with.
Starting point is 00:47:12 This girl is, she will, she is fucking with the wrong people left and right. So she's looking away, trying to pretend she's like a Disney villain. She's wearing some like Bartomen Bailey, like long jacket thing with these huge shoulder pads. It was so good. And Monique's like, oh, hi, welcome to my home. I made the sides of my husband at the meat, sides, macachies, collard greens, cornbread, you know, sweet potatoes, sides,
Starting point is 00:47:36 you know, like yards, side yards, half a side yard, anybody? I have five side yards. Well, actually four and a half side yards, because one is just a quarter yard. But anyway, welcome. By the way, that really bothered me with Mon money because every single person she's like I made the food I made this I made this I made this I expressed me to me but I made the food I made it it felt just again you know this is Monique's problem she is either a brager or a self-promoting lady I mean because you know I think what you put out a spread you you don't say, I made this, I made this, you say, Oh, we have this, we have this, we have this, and then someone says, did you make this, you say, yes, I made it, but she told every single person, I made the sides, I made the mac and cheese, I made this, I made this, Chris made that, I made this, I just thought like...
Starting point is 00:48:17 I think she's doing that because Jacelle is making her sound like she's bragging about her many, So she's like, I'm down home. I cooked everything myself. You know, like I could have had a kid. I mean, my party planner doesn't even spell leaf right. So I couldn't be that rich, right? Welcome my home. McIcheese? McIcheese made it, boiled it, boiled it. Yeah. I mean, I do think you're right. She's trying to make herself seem grounded, but she's doing it by bragging at the same time. Yeah. True. And that sounds like, well, isn't that nice? I made popovers. Is there a restroom? Well, what's funny is that outside,
Starting point is 00:48:51 Chris made a joke saying like, she only made the cornbread. Oh. Then when Monique was showing everyone the food that she made, she's like, I heard you only made the cornbread. This is what Chris was saying. Mm-hmm. So then Karen and Monique are discussing spade rules, the house spade rules.
Starting point is 00:49:15 Jizzell and Cal are like across the room, and they're just quiet, and they're being shady, and Cal is just like, she's never gonna stop talking. That Monique is never gonna stop talking. Yeah. Which is true, but again, pretty rude to be saying it right and from, and pretty dumb because all of Monique's friends were within ear shot.
Starting point is 00:49:33 Yeah, and so Robin and Juan come in, Juan's there the second time, and she's like, oh, I don't remember the last time Juan came out twice in a week, that's good. And I said, is everything okay? She's like, oh, we had some trouble before we came in here. But so they were like fighting in the car all the way over.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Yeah, exactly. Oh my God. And then she go, Monique says, well, where's she right? I mean, where's Cherice? And she goes, call her tomorrow. She goes, well, do you know something? If she okay, she goes, I said, call her tomorrow. She says, but you know something, if she okay, she says, I said call her tomorrow. I don't want her putting her nose somewhere.
Starting point is 00:50:09 She doesn't belong. My God. She just asked how the woman was. And as Arn Monique wasn't Cherice, the one who brought Monique in or was that Robin? It doesn't matter. Monique and Cherice are friends. So Monique can call her.
Starting point is 00:50:22 Yeah, just being an asshole to be an asshole as usual. Yeah, she's her way of saying, I know something and you don't. Yeah, I said. So she goes, uh, she's their whispering and being busy. Yeah, it was just going to go and she goes, so I heard you all. Oh, yeah, because she's right now when they were whispering, because I didn't get it, because she's else in their whispering like because again, Monika's the blabbing I think this maybe this is when they're talking about the spade rules and then spades rules and then Jacelle is like No, we talk about trying to fuss it off and counts like she is a new type of faucet. It never cuts off Yeah, see that's that's some
Starting point is 00:50:57 That was a What do you even talking about they're just being idiots? Yeah, so GG here's and she goes I hear you all whispering, and if you're whispering in someone's house about them, that's kind of rude. And Kale's like, well, it shouldn't get your panties in the bunch. You should wear some bunches of panties, honey.
Starting point is 00:51:17 And you just like, well, I don't wear them. I just heard the laugh, because it was a good comeback. And then, she's then, who does bitch? She better have the fuck off my back. Simone Kenters and he's like, she goes, has everything going and he goes, well, Riri is trying to post stop.
Starting point is 00:51:35 Had you just like, it's GG. But by the way, that cracked me up because he knew her name was not Riri, but he called her Riri. That was hilarious to me. That to me was hilarious. What does it mean when someone says she's trying to post stop? Post stop.
Starting point is 00:51:51 Post stop, I wrote. What the fuck did you say to post up? Because posting up, it's like she's basically trying and getting ready to start a fight. She's posting up. It's like a, it's, that's what it means. Thank you. Like, my wife.
Starting point is 00:52:04 So he's like, well, she's what it means. Thank you. Like starting up. So he's like well She saw us whispering and she goes yes, we were whispering that your home is lovely and goes yes Love it. We said today cooler And we'd like your fish tank and he goes and not and people not mining their own business I would fucking get these two immediately out of my home. They were assholes. They were totally being rude. I was, you know, I don't like bad matters. So I cannot support their bad assholes.
Starting point is 00:52:31 They're not even funny. They're just dicks. And Monique goes, well, I am her business. And if you come into my home, you're my family. You're considered family. And that doesn't even make sense. And she goes, and if Gigi feels that you're being family. It's also a shit. Yeah, that doesn't even make sense. Actually, it goes. And if Gigi feels that you're being off tangent, like, what?
Starting point is 00:52:49 She's like, I have a big family, you know, because we have five houses. So that's a lot of homes for people to come into. And I'm used to people hating me and my family. But listen, mother, I'm paying the bill at the end of the day. I'm paying for your meal. So eventually, Gigi just sort of leaves. And I actually another thing that Kale said that I thought was funny was he was like, I'm gonna give a one, two, three,
Starting point is 00:53:11 four of my teeth in a first I was like, huh? But then he made that like side face at like Raul where he shows his side teeth. Then he goes see the side of him like sharks. Secure an idiot. So then maybe left. That made me laugh. I hit him. I want him to like die in a tarot not die, but like I want him to be in a terrible explosion in her like Range Rover. I like him. I like I think that he and Jacelle are funny and they're shady together, but in this case, they were both wrong and then they were acting surprised that anyone called them out on it. So that was bullshit. Although his re-re thing and the side teeth made me laugh. Okay, well I just have to call it a call it a or call it a you know give it to each other because I was like you're both stupid shut up. So um let's see Michael Michael is like
Starting point is 00:53:56 offering kangaroo jerky it's like as appealing as anyone whatever want I mean I would I would have kangaroo jerky but this guy's like y you all want some kangaroo jiky? He's probably just trying to buy something more jicky, more distasteful to the table than Kalan jizz. It's like, you want to draw some kangaroo jicky? And everyone's like, no, I'm trying to make Australian food happen. It's not going to have to. For Karen's husband's like, it's good. See, only when he would eat it. Everybody else is like, no, no. So back in the kitchen, Ashley comes in and starts telling Jacelle and Monique that she heard that Juan has been seeing other people.
Starting point is 00:54:39 And Jacelle basically shuts it down. And then Monique leaves and Jacelle is like, yeah, I didn't want you to go, don't sail that stuff in front of Miss, I can't stop talking, referring to Monique. So sure enough, some woman named Jill, who I think is the assistant, Jillian, she goes outside and tells Monique,
Starting point is 00:54:57 Jiselle just said, you're Miss, I can't stop talking. So now, which is ironic because Jiselle is accusing Monique of saying Miss, I can't stop talking, and it's because of Giselle's big mouth that she now gets in trouble with Monique. So Monique comes in and confronts Giselle, and Giselle is just being a total ice queen about it. And I just love how she's, you know, she is the one accusing, making these accusations that Monika's talking too much,
Starting point is 00:55:27 which is totally hypocritical. And ultimately, Monika kicks Giselle and Cal out of it. Yeah, pretty much. She's like, well, I was talking to Ashley and she goes, it's my house. And she goes, you're being a little aggressive right now and Monika's, I need my preach to get here because I'm about to cut a bitch.
Starting point is 00:55:43 I need to say my prayers is something. And she's like, I apologize that I preach to get here because I'm about to cut a bitch. I need to say my prayers or something and she's like, I apologize that I need to talk to Ashley and she goes, well, I tried to hug you and you just stood there, acting all cold with your, your villain jacket or whatever. And she goes, what do you want me to do? And then Gigi goes, well, I'll tell you this, you won't be uncomfortable in your own home. And she goes, well, you don't want to be here anyway, so why don't you just leave?
Starting point is 00:56:07 And then and then just and just I was like I apologize to her what else does she want me? I'm like that was non-apology get over it. That was not and then money goes Strike wine the withered strike to Huka She's definitely stacked strike three. I like it's just their crappy locations for this show. No offense to the Willard, but that was basically like a lobby with weird hats. Yeah, so she's also says well She went to zero and a hundred and like four seconds. I apologized and this is my favorite kind of chisel shade She goes I drove all the way out to the middle of nowhere, but that's fine I'll drive back and get some KFC all the way out to the middle of nowhere, but that's fine.
Starting point is 00:56:45 I'll drive back and get some KFC on the way. At least that food has flavor. Unlike this food, you didn't even have time to eat the food, you stupid. Hooker. The for any time a new one puts KFC up on a pedestal as being an ideal culinary choice. You have to have some deep introspection
Starting point is 00:57:03 about what's happened in your life. Or just this real housewives franchise. It's like the real housewives of Potomac. I think it's the first KFC burn we've ever had. Congratulations, Jizz. Yeah. So then, Jizzell goes out to leave and Robin, you know, sort of follows her out to the driveway and Jizzell basically tells Robin, well Ash has
Starting point is 00:57:26 been saying that one is seeing someone else. I'm like, well, so much for Miss Talks too much, you know, tells everyone the whole reason why you didn't want Ashley telling Monique allegedly according to what you said is because you're afraid that Monique was going to go tell Robin and then you just went and told Robin. So you basically either your bullshit or you just wanted to be the one to break the news throughout. She also started another fight and she has to leave. So she's just throwing all the shit she can in the driveway and Karen back at the side yard.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Karen's like, whoa, Miss Jacelle gets thrown out of another party. She's going to have a lot of framed Xerox screws in her house. I know. How many times must I go to Michael's and get a picture from? And Ashley says, She just takes time to warm up. And Monique says,
Starting point is 00:58:10 Well, there's a difference between being warmed up and being a busted trick. So then Ashley goes outside. And by the way, this is the big, all this stuff is part of the big confrontation that we were promised in the beginning. And like so far, it was like entertaining, but it was definitely not a volatile experience. And so then Ashley goes out to where Giselle and Robyn are and Robyn was like, oh, you've
Starting point is 00:58:35 been saying, I hear you've been spreading rumors or talking about like one. And Ashley's like, yeah. It's like, okay, well, she got her that. I heard you seeing someone. She was, well, oh okay, well. She got- Where's that? I heard he's seeing someone. She was, what, I don't care. Okay. So like, great.
Starting point is 00:58:51 Wow, I'm glad we got the one week earlier set up for this gigantic, explosive episode. And Ashley says, are you okay? Cause you're ordered different. And Robin goes, I don't put my happiness on another person Robin it's like so fucking pathetic at this point then shout out to us yeah so reach us up just crying they're like how why are you she's like good I just like so I'm gonna be We frog her and thought I was fine. Oh, that's okay. We get that okay. We're the shipping room. I knew it.
Starting point is 00:59:27 I'm gonna go to the shipping room. So it's like, and then she starts hugging Cal. I'm like, even Cal, the man who walked up your staircase. Yeah, it's like she was so distraught. She hugged fucking Cal. Yeah. So she's like, well, I was, just else says something. I don't even know. And then Monique comes out So she's like, well, I was, uh, just L says something. I don't even know. And then Monique comes out and she's like, you guys, what's going on? And she's like, um,
Starting point is 00:59:52 we're taking care of it. She says, um, no, what's going on really? Cause I don't do the BS. Yes, Monique's coming out for a real driveway fight. Yeah. She's like, I don't care which of my five houses I'm in. I don't do the BS. This is my circular driveway. We will fight. This fight is going through my air rater, which I brought to this party. And that brings us to the end of Potomac. Will. Amen. Will.
Starting point is 01:00:21 Cheers. Get her Kentucky fried chicken. Will Monique's driveway ever be the same? Will Karen get jealous of the patio furniture? I'll be right back next week on the real housewives of Potomac. That is right But in the meantime as it is Friday, we'll wrap things up here with a little crap in's mail bag Crapins male bag Man, that's right crap ins male bag is the future that we have where you can If you if you support us on patreon patreon.com for us as watch our crap on you can then Write in questions and comments and then we'll read them on Zee-eeh,
Starting point is 01:01:07 which is always fun and exciting, because we always like hearing from everyone. Let's see what comments, questions we have for today. I'm just loading them up. Okay, so HavaWeber, a recent podcast spotlight or listener spotlight, she says, so recently I have been watching, I've been rewatching the entire series of Gossip Girl. I'm almost finished and as you two have made at least two references to Gossip Girl in the
Starting point is 01:01:35 past couple weeks, I would love to know who you think from the Bravo Universe would fit into the Gossip Girl roles. Serena, Blair, Dan, Nate, Chuck, Jenny, etc. Well, did you, were you Jenny, et cetera. Well, this, did you, were you a gospel girl, watch her, Ronnie? Um, I watched, okay, I watched the first episode and it was amazing. I was like, what are teenagers drinking martinis in Manhattan for? It was like super dark, really, really dark and very snarky. It was just my type of show. I loved it. And then I guess that was just because it was the pilot and then they picked it up. And the CW was like, um, this needs to be much lighter and we can't have it be so dark. And it was like a teen comedy kind of thing. And so I, I think the first four seasons. Season one was spectacular, it was perfection. Season two was also very, very strong.
Starting point is 01:02:28 And then season three, they went to college. And it was still okay, but it was starting to fall apart. And by season four, they had introduced all this nonsense where Chuck was running a hotel. It was like his family legacy and looking for his mother. I'm like, he is 18 years old and he's worrying about a hotel. I knew to get like the petty shit where like it used to be that the episodes were all about like he said some shit about me. Okay, we're gonna fight on the on the steps of the map, you know, and then I became like kids doing having done the adult shit so I sort of stop watching. But that's
Starting point is 01:03:00 not what this question is about. Who is who? So I feel like Blair Waldorf. Let's start with her Blair Waldorf Is she the dark-haired one? Yeah, she is like me. She's my friend. She was like the Queen B Who was the best and I feel like who are the Queen B's who are like the gatekeepers? Who is like the metaphorical gatekeeper on the stairs of met and from the Broadway universe? But she also had like she was the gatekeeper But she also had this like deep sadness in the gatekeeper, but she also had this, like, deep sadness in her because she was never like the pretty blonde one. She was the brunette, you know, but she was, I think,
Starting point is 01:03:32 way more gorgeous, by the way. Well, well, she became the fan favorite because her boyfriend Nate, she didn't know that, but she was like, always wanting to have sex with Nate. There was, she's going to lose her virginity to Nate, but Nate and Serena had, like had hooked up in the first episode, like in the past, that was their secret. I feel like Blair, I mean,
Starting point is 01:03:51 if I were to say all of the Bravo universe, she's probably like, lives from gallery girls, but from current Bravo universe, that's a hard one. I actually, as she like, Tamara, I don't know, it's hard. I think of Tamara as a's hard. I think of Tamra's in the mirror. I think of her more is like, yeah, probably Bethany's a good one. I was going to say Kyle, but Kyle just had such a lovely season.
Starting point is 01:04:14 Like she was kind of lovely this whole season, which is probably the bandar pump actually. Yeah, or Kyle, like maybe season two, Kyle, like the season where Kyle was really mean to Brandy Glamville. So that was what three two or three. So that one where she acts like she's the best and the richest and but she's got this like kind of raging insecurity and whenever new people come in, she like freaks out and has a total bitch to them. That's the kind of I hated and loved.
Starting point is 01:04:42 She's actually, I mean, that sounds like a little bit like Jacelle or Vicki Gumbelson to be honest yeah Jacelle Jacelle would be I feel just not classy enough I can't with her that's and that's why Vicki Gumbelson doesn't work I just can't imagine Vicki Gumbelson being Blair Waldorf I feel like that's an insult to the Blair Waldorf legacy probably got me probably Bethany I would say Bethany or but this version of Moana I think it's actually a Moana because I don be probably Bethany. I would say Bethany or But this version of my Rich, but I think it's actually Ramona because I don't think Bethany would care enough to lord over The staircase at the mat, but I think Ramona would I'm sorry. You can't sit with us. Okay Go feed the pigeons down there with Nelly you okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
Starting point is 01:05:21 Sorry, I'm not invited to my or girl birthday luncheon that I have every year with the most classy lady. This is in York. Hi. I feel like Serena. Serena was like pretty and she was the one that everyone wants to be, but she's sort of boring. Yeah, like Greg. Make him get men's. Gratitude. We just immediately go to Orange County. like Greg, G. Edmonds,
Starting point is 01:05:42 Gretchen, which is a middly go to Orange County. And also she's the one that after the show ended, she was like, but I still have a career. And then it just like fizzled on Instagram. She's like selling, you know, like slapping her own label on Chinese bot,
Starting point is 01:05:59 nail polish and shit. And I feel like that's the best career of all of them. Does she still do stuff? Because I saw one movie where she was like the girl friend of two drug dealers. And I was like, this is so sad. And she's like doing all these nude sex scenes. And I was like, so low rant. And then I thought she just went away. Is she still doing things? Yeah. Now she's, I mean, she's considered Hollywood a list. And she's
Starting point is 01:06:21 in that movie. Yeah, the Serena, what's her face? I forget what her real name is. I'm blanking on her real name. Everyone's, she's like with Ryan Reynolds. She just got into that. She made a comment about Oakland that did not go for well on Instagram. Why can't I think of her? I mean, that's so great to you. Yeah, I mean, everyone, I have to look it up because everyone's going nuts. Oh, wearing wheel, everyone I have to look it up because everyone's going nuts Oh, wearing wheel everybody sorry. Okay. I'm gonna look it up Serena gossip girl. She's Blake. I know Blake Lively, oh like lively. Yeah, she's in that movie the shadows, which I want to see I haven't seen it, but I was on Jeb Blue and everyone in my row was watching it and You know what everyone was like getting startled at the same time. I was like ah I'd be like, you go, Shark. So I guess Gretchen would be Serena. I had an idea. You know what? Probably Lizzy with the bathing suit company who was like kind
Starting point is 01:07:18 of boring. I mean, she's brunette, but she was kind of boring, but she could stand up for herself, but didn't really bother. She just kind of showed it up for the free feed. But then after she left the show, we found out she was like the richest one because her company actually makes money. I just thought of who's Blair. I'm sorry, I have to go back to Blair. This to me is so obvious. It works the best. I think it's Leon Lacken. Blair Dallas. No, because Blair was like legit rich. Leon Lacken is like trying. I know, but the end lockin would be the one who, I mean, your charity world's over. That's what, that's what Blair would say. Only Blair would say something like that and like, add that self importance to it. So I'm not remember the episode of gossip girl wore Blair hits a trolley but. But don't you think that like Liam Locke and was abandoned by her mother often and had like a gay father? I believe that the carnival. Yeah. Yeah, the carny. And then Nate will chuck let's talk about Chuck.
Starting point is 01:08:18 Chuck would be the one that we all except she was kind of a villain. Oh, yeah, he has a shot of being a villain. Actually, we I'm going back to Blair Cameron. No, Blair is Caroline's Danbury. That's Blair. Oh, yeah, okay, that's perfect. There we go. Leon Lockin is like,
Starting point is 01:08:37 Leon Lockin was one of Caroline's, that was one of the the the cronies on the steps. Okay, so then chef, I think, could be Chuck. I mean, Chuck had more of the villainous slat swim, but you know, chef kind of has that to him sometimes, too. He acts like he's all charming, but he's really, you know, kind of underhanded. I would actually say Chuck is Carl from Summer House.
Starting point is 01:08:59 Oh, that's a good one, yeah. Yeah, yeah, because he, Chuck is, was like a little date rape in the beginning. Not saying that Carl is but I believe I feel like Carl is skier than ship So then who who's the poor guy Dan? What's his name? Dan? He Dan is like the worst. So it's got to be well Vanessa's the real worst But Dan is yeah, Dan. He's Dan's got to be Peter. I think he would be Peter from Real Housewives of Atlanta. Well, he's got to be sanctimonious. Who's like a real sanctimonious husband who just feel like, uh, Peter, I feel like he
Starting point is 01:09:36 might be PK. Also, he's poor. So I think that that's like Peter. And then, you know, I don't want to spoil anything, but that so Peter the spoiler yeah so Jenny Jenny is someone who was like who was like aspired to be something great and then flamed out like she wanted to be in with Blair and then she basically like was a social climber but then real life Jenny decided that she wanted to become a rock star so then like on screen Jenny started getting raccoon eyes and she just became really annoying
Starting point is 01:10:07 and was like, oh, she's a Tiffany Hendra. What was it? Style sanctuary sanctuary style. Yeah. Guys, we are having a fundraiser for my husband. It was under husband, my boy friends, new new album called October every song's about being slightly chilly And it's gonna be a passable ease and I'm gonna wear a realistic eyeliner She might be Julia Angus though. Oh Serena would actually be Caroline Fleming
Starting point is 01:10:39 Obbs not to make everything latest The Caroline Fleming is totally Serena, just like the one who's ever-littlessly beautiful and wealthy and wonderful and everyone's envies of her. Okay, well that's the craziest cast of Gossip Girl. We didn't even discuss Nate. Who's a pretty man on one of the shows? Maybe T-Rab should actually be Chuck.
Starting point is 01:11:06 T-Rab is Chuck. Because he's... He just salt cocaine out of the hotel and then point somebody else. Nate is just someone pretty. Nate is Craig. Nate is Craig. So basically, our version of Gossip Girl
Starting point is 01:11:19 is when the cast of Ladies of London and Southern Chao come together. Yeah, pretty much. And then if any of them don't show up for work, we've got Orange County people waiting in the wing. Something like that. All right, well, we spent a lot of time in that question. So why don't we wrap up the mail bag?
Starting point is 01:11:35 And if you guys have any further insights into the Gossip Girl casting for the show, because we didn't even get into any of the other characters, but please comment to our Facebook page and leave a comment there because this is gonna bug me. I feel like I feel like we could have done better with some of these roles. Everyone have a great weekend. Be sure to buy a ticket to our show if you're in the LA area. We'd love to see you and we hope you all can be there. And in the meantime go have some great rest. And if you're Jewish, sure, a bunch of fun. Bye everybody. Bye.
Starting point is 01:12:16 Crapans. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.