Watch What Crappens - #468 BelowDeckMed: Malia! I've Just Kissed A Girl Named Malia!

Episode Date: May 31, 2017

The anchors aren't the only things all tangled up on "Below Deck: Mediterranean." There's a whole jumbled love triangle going down. But it's more like a love May Pole, and Malia is at the center. Who will get to kiss her first? And will she even get a say? All that plus important updates on espresso martinis and stern lines. Come listen! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crap-ins listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook com slash watch what crap ends and to follow us on social media go to watch a crap and dot com to find all our social media links and for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone welcome to watch crap ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo

that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBLOG.com and the Bantra Blender podcast, and joining me is the man of a million anchors that are never tangled, it's running carom from trashtalktv.com and the Rosepricks Bachelor podcasts. Hey, running, what's up? Well, thank you.

It's my fastest thing ever, anyone's ever said to me. Hey, Ronnie, what's up? Well, thank you. It's my sister's thing ever anyone's ever said to me. You're anchors are always free and untwirled. It's wonderful. It should be in life, right? This might be the season somebody just crashes into something like every week. Like how is this boat even still moving? How is it? But by the way, I love this show. I am so into blow deck, Mad. I love Sandy. I love Captain Sandy so much I'm loving all of the comedic editing We love you, Nadine. Well, I'm always so good at the editing is so funny on this show Well, I'm always so impressed with the editing on both blow decks because again, they have to call a

Lot of footage and make coherent storylines from a million different things happening. So my hat is always off to the people behind this show and it's funny when blow deck first premiered a few years ago, I was like, fuck this, this is a whole bunch of like overproduced stupid shit who cares about a yacht and now I am totally reversed like a like a boat coming out of port and I am so on board and that was not even an intentional yachting pun. Well, this one is we open in the same- the casingle of set a drift on memory lane and my dad was like what you bought of that I said no drifting. I said I just love the song. I love being done. I'm sorry. I'm such a rebel

One time at Christmas. I bought my dad the CD for the drift does He said you sure are a cheeky boy So anyway the anchor drama continues and after like 25 minutes devoted to it, unlasted the last episode, this episode is like, all right, we're running out of daytime sunlight, we gotta do something about it, and then like Wiz just like hacks at it three times, and the anchor just falls into the water. It's like, yeah, okay. I'm Malia's like, great job down there, Wes! And then the chef's all mad. He's like, oh, great job. Oh, really? Oh, and Malia's like, I'm so

attracted to Wiz's, you know, he's so good and he's so strong and such a great leader. I'm really attracted to that. But then I'm also attracted to Adam because he sleeps in the van is kind of dirty. I like that too. Like, shall I call you? Does West even have a car? I don't know. This is such a hard decision. I feel like there's something I really need to discuss right now. Something I realized watching this this episode, why have we not discussed the fact that Wiz basically looks like a young male version of Lisa Vanderpump. He has Lisa Vanderpump.

Because I didn't notice, but now I will. Now I will never see that. Oddly enough, he sometimes has Ken Todd's face, which means he's a little bit Pandora-ish. But Oddly, if you look at him, he is Lisa Vanderpump. He is young male Lisa Vanderpump. Look, look.

You're not gonna be able to unsee it once you see it. I'm seeing it, I'm looking in my head and I will never unsee that you see it right? It's gonna bother me now Especially when he smiles he has van der pump face From with season It's a composite It's like a bunch of Lisa van der pump faces smashed onto each other It's true. It's like you're never gonna unsee it. I'm sorry people. Well everyone, it's time to come up

here for a meeting with the captain. Guys, what a challenging day. Here's what I want to say about challenges, challenges or challenging, but there's no reason to be rude to each other. Because during a challenge, we need manners. And if you don't get rast, you're going to be gr to each other because during a challenge we need manners. And if you don't get rast, you're going to be grumpy and no one needs a grumpy challenge. Grumpy challenges are hard to get through. And then it shows a clip of Poppy being like, oh, she wants me to get in the water. Now she's calling me a pussy.

Now I'm not going to point any fingers, but if I did, I'd probably point my finger up very tall. At someone who would probably be taller than everyone else, but I'm not going to point that finger because you know what? No one got their naps today because of the anchor situation, so I understand. Frankly, if you get your finger too close to that someone's mouth. He may spit up some half-tued up food on it while he's just trying to do a normal sentence. And then Bobby, Bobby's like, yeah, my emotions got the better of me. And I need to work on that. Like, is that what you do? Is that just what you do? You

just fucking act like an asshole. And then five minutes or a day later, you're like, my bad. Yeah, I wrote the exact same thing, Ronnie. I was like, you can't keep doing that, Bobby. Bobby, you can't keep doing that. Well, the important thing is we press forward and don't look back. That happened in the Bible when the lady turned into salt. Guess what? We're supposed to keep out of our diets. Salt, you'll get bloated. That'll get you grumpy. All right, don't be lots of wife is what I'm saying. Now, why did Malia not get in any trouble over the fact that she wasn't paying attention to the watch and they twirled around and got their anchor tangled?

Why did she avoid it? Was it really not her fault? I'm not sure because I know it's called anchor watch, which means like you're looking at the anchor you would think, but it's like a little dot on a bat. So it's not like they have visual of the actual anchor. So the dot wouldn't really move if the boat was just turning around in circles. But even Mr. Skin could tell that they were moving.

Even Mr. Skin. He was like, are we moving? Well, I wouldn't notice that. But I was on Mr. Skin's internet internet site and my hands were in my pants. So you know what, let's just say that there is no game like the blame game and I'm not in the mood to play it. Let's put it that way, guys. You know what, you know what, site I like going on to?

Mr. Naps, great nap techniques there. He will find all the movies that people nap in and he just puts them all into one VHS tape. That's what's hobby. It's great. Today, I saw Angelina Jolie's face, a Photoshopped onto a napping child. Wow, that's something. Yeah, the other day, someone took Jim Carrey's face and Photoshopped it onto a sleeping baby picture that

That that woman took You know in a piece of garbage You know the photographer who takes pictures of little babies and lettuce Well someone took a put Jim Carrey's face on that and looked like he was napping in lettuce and thought God that little boy He is having one great nap took a put Jim Carrey's face on that and looked like he was napping and let us and thought God that little boy. He is having one great nap. I want to say Diane Arbis, but I know that's not true. I know that's not correct. And getties.

And getties. That's right. No one helped Romaine lettuce like and getties. You talk about free publicity. That little Romaine lettuce baby. Wow. They will grow up to be very happy babies while they're napping. They're getting good job and get us. I'll tell you why she's a

ladybug baby because ladies are calm because they're rested. That's right. They're lettuce. They rest in lettuce. A ladybug resting in lettuce on a bee, which you're in space, superimposed on top. I got blessed, Mr. Naps. You're welcome whoever steals that business idea. Oh, you're welcome. So the chef is like, uh, yeah, you know, the more time I spend with Malia, the more time I want to spend with Malia. Man. Yeah. So it's time to go out on the town everybody put on the same close your

war yesterday because you were only allowed to bring the same size carry on bag. Yeah, okay, let's put on a summer dress again. Yeah, what on the down? So they go out the drinking shots of weird blue shit and Max is like, oh, rather shit in my hand to clap the drink. No, it works as the drinking shots of the weird blue shit and Max is like, oh, I'd rather shit in my hand to clap the drinking, oh, what's this? Just cut to him and then grab his hand. Wes is like, look what I could do, Malia.

With his hands and she's like, wow. And he's like, look, I can sing the ABCs with my hands. My dad used to hate this. I did this at dinner one time and he said you you my dad said if I ever make fart noises with my hands again I'd have to go right to my room and not have Gina so let me tell you something I never did it again until now but I'm a rebel was not turn you on the Liam a rebel look I could do a uh Michael Jackson song a bc 1 2 3 isn't that crazy I'm seeing it I don't even have the licensing rights oh wow I'm a rebel and Adam's like damn it wasn't a practice my hand for it is it's like I can

make so much food my hands but I can't make a fart. Damn it That's it. I'm making our fart dessert just for her so they all go back to the boat and Lord so Adam's in the galley like Talking with maybe Malia or someone and Lauren walks by to guess by drama and she's like what really really and Lauren walks by and goes, by drama, and she's like, what really? Really? Really?

And then she gives us the origin story of her annoyingness, and she's like, I don't like conflict because I was a really big bitch in high school, and I was really mean to people, and I went through a serious depression because of it, because I was never have friends. I was like, hey, no, you don't get to have depression because you were the bully. I know. She's like, and then I learned to trust people.

Like, wait a minute. So like after throwing all those people into lockers and like putting up near in girls shampoo, I learned to trust people. I'm like, first of all, be quiet. Second of all, why were you not on Princesses Long Island? That's your show. What were you doing? princesses? Lagana island. That's your show What were you doing? No kidding. It'll come back. Give it time give it time and then she's drunk and she goes to Bobby's like I'm sorry if you're sorry. He's like okay. I Can forgive but I can't forget You know what? I bet you on reddit better. I will forgive you and I will forget you.

That's how you do it. That's how you do it. Learn from Miss Conrad. Please. So, uh, chef and westerbos are like that. I don't know what that means. I'm on the tee again, people. I'm on the tee.

Sometimes, sometimes it's good to just keep driving. Like he just can't stop the car. Yeah, Jesus take the wheel. And like, wait a minute, what just happened? We're stopping the car until someone explains it to me. So Adam Malia and Wes are now in the kitchen. And it's like this being Malia's eating ribs.

And she's like, I like reds with a raw chop. And they're like, oh my god, she's so fucking hot. And then he's like, well, one day I'll make you gravy. And she's like, wow, love gravy. Right now I'm eating ice cream and tacos at the same time. Anyways, it's like, you know what, I like a bit gravy. You can put it on a train and it's called a gravy train. One time I've agreed with my toy train and my dad was like, what did you do? That's a toy train. He just broke your toy train. I said I didn't know daddy said that's all right son Let's have some tea instead. He's like okay, dad. Oh my crazy rib all I am a bad boy

My dad told me I'm not into gastro Transportation all right. I was like suck it, dude So Molly is like they're the angel and the devil, but you know, I'm not looking for a relationship I just want wanna have fun. Mashed potatoes and ice cream. And then it cuts to Lauren snoring in her bed. So, like everybody wants Malia and poor Lauren's like,

she's- She's- She's having dreams of people helping her without her asking. So the next morning, the charters, Eden and Eva show up, or they don't show up, it's more like we learn who the charters are, Eden and Eva. So they're going to be coming and Bugsy is, she's sad because she's not going to Grand Speneral. So

that's fine. That's not fine. That's just, that's what's happening. And then, then the guests come. So the guests all come on board. We get the tour. And then if they're coming, lots of milestones today, two birthdays and anniversary, just Croatian general, naps celebrating a lot today. Naps, naps, naps,

stir today is the 18th anniversary, 18th, 18th year and 37 days anniversary of Napster going down, but it's okay to let an indelible mark on culture because now we will all realize the importance of NAPS. You know what? Napster changed. Other than NAPS, it changed rock and roll over so you can get a better nap forever. Thank you Napster. You're welcome to roll over.

Sean Fanny. You know what? He needs to download more of? Naps. So there's no allergies or medical conditions. And he's like, yes, I can really be myself today because of no limits. The only thing that they need are espresso,inis baby the hottest cocktail and all the Mediterranean. Yeah, this is the most basic group of people we've had so far. They had both espresso martinis and cosmos. With the old in with the older. So yeah, they all want espresso. And a Hannah is still calling them

espresso marginies. I'm like Hannah, you're the chiefs do. You have to stop this. It was fine for one season, but there has been a full season of snark about this. You have to learn from your mistakes. They go, hey, captain, which way do you want the anchor today? She goes bow and stern, bow and stern.

Okay, anchor's great, great job, Wes. I just have to note that because it changes later. Oh, and I like that. I was like, yeah, she's so appreciative of Wes. So let's see, God works with Bugsy and he's like, well, this big guy, he looks like a mob boss. He's like, hey there, kid. Yeah, you should know how to make a botany. She's like, wait, you're from, and he's like California. She goes, we'll have her to love the home. He's like, yeah. She's like, all right, then I'm going to go hang out with our creepy chef instead now. So Lauren is down in her laundry cave. And then she

again is, you know, the what was me thing she's doing the one of my weaknesses is that I care too much what other people think about me. I'm like well good luck me on reality TV because now you're dealing with us and we're just having to make fun of you now. You know I locked this girl in a locker one time and she came out and she didn't even say she was sorry. Look wait a minute. Now she hates me. she didn't even say she was sorry. Like wait a minute. Now she hates me. I can't deal. So she goes up to the kitchen and Hannah's like, hey there, Lauren, I'd appreciate it.

If in the future, you, if you see my radio there, sit next to all the other radios that you take one of the other radios off and put mine in the charger. And Lauren, Lauren's like, I'm about to see. Oh, it was it. Buckley was actually much later in the episode. Yeah. Oh, you screwed. Oh, you screwed. What I wrote down. No, I didn't scroll this time. Actually, I wrote Hannah to Lauren in the future. Radio me before laundry. Yes, that's. Well, I guess

busy because you're awkward when you get busy. Like you're giving a tour. And I don't want to interrupt it, that's like, well, it gets busy because you're awkward when you get busy. Because like you're giving a tour and I don't want to interrupt it. She's like, radio, media, dumb bitch, I have any. I can listen on the phone while I'm giving the giving the tool. I love the in this show and notes. There's like multiple cues to the same things. Like Hannah's mad about a radio. This can happen 20 times in a show. I still don't know where I am. Well, the reason why I was not going to let it slide about the radio headset thing is because that is like the culmination of something that starts this episode, which is Adam

suddenly deciding that he likes Bugsy. And he doesn't really even like Bugsy. It's more like he does not like Hannah. And he knows he can piss off Hannah by showing preferential treatment to Bugsy. So now all of a sudden, he also Hannah made out with Malia and Hannah's like making no effort. She's like cock blocking him. So now he's going to do whatever you mature man does and make Hannah the enemy. Yes, because what we didn't say was that when they were out partying, Hannah was like, like, yeah, I think that with his a shot, I don't want to give a shot with Malia anymore.

I think that she's really, really into, into Whist so you better give up young boy. And so now Adam, I think we should try to get them to fake. And he's like, Oh, I don't know what your intentions are, but they're not good for me. What is this game of thrones? You old fuck like you have glued on hair and you live in a van Please just stay away from the 20 year old. Yeah, so now he doesn't like Hannah so he's gonna show preferential treatment to bugs He's now he starts telling us that like you know Ah, Bugsie, you know I think that she's actually starting to get me but Hannah it's like

She doesn't get me. It's like okay, here we go. Yeah, his B bugsy told him, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna melt down with everybody has to drink so that we'll know and then we won't have to ask them. Now last week he would have been like, you stupid bitch, motherfucking think down.

Sacking markers. Get outta here, marker. But this week he's like, I love when people are organized. Hey, you wanna stack some bowls, but So so now downstairs Bobby and Max are talking and Max like oh my god fan. I miss a lot She's I don't even really know who's talking about but then I guess she was like a dancer of some sorts of Bobby's What sort of dancer issues you like a ballerina or a stripper and max like, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, on the dance contract. And you know, I miss my chick. Nostra's 10, glam note.

It's like glam note, I don't dance in that pose and such. Like a so stripping. Yeah, pretty much. So then I just wrote down, Malia thinks it's sexy when Wiz teaches her something new. So I guess he liked to order her like like tie a knot and she's like oh, Wiz

And then Bobby's lower jaws just jutting out only watches. He's like So then it's time for water toys because the this group they're only there for one day and the one thing They definitely want her water toys so say any side you know, like let's get the water toys out that do they want the banana or can I use the banana? You know, I love that banana. You know what I'm like about that banana? It's a well-rested banana. It looks like a big yellow brand Zeno.

That's what I say. I love that banana. And then they, she's like, well, wait a minute, whether we see them do their water toy thing or whatever. And she's like, whether's coming in, guess who's grumpy? This guy, we needed to part a sample, okay, get on the water toys. So his clouds need an amp. And then Bobby's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Bump bump and someone got hurt. Yeah, the banana capsized. So the two ladies are on the bananas. They right with you Think you can trust a banana. I can't I love that banana. So someone I don't remember who said it but someone goes

They fell off the banana and they may have hit heads, which I think is a really funny quote So basically, yeah, the ladies hit their heads when they fell off the banana so Bobby celebrity beef You never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's no bald into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. He went into Firefighter Mode, he jumps in, he's like doing, you know, you know firefighter he sings and he tells us he's like I want to impress the captain and you know in West and of course Malia I'm like how about you just wanted to save the poor ladies who popped their heads off the banana and how about there are no fires in the ocean stupid I'm here I'm gonna bust down the door it's like there's no door So he gets on his side. So you know what year it is? You know where we are? Who's the hottest person on this boat?

Okay, who would you want to fuck? I'm talking to you about me. You can be honest And then it cut to Wes it custom was really quick and he goes my parents said no banana ever And Sandy's like come on guys. We're drag any anchor. Come on move the toy. We gotta get the toy in there It's time for the toys nap time. Come on now So Hannah Oh, yeah, so this is where Hannah's like, well, hello, shift. I was thinking of sending books with you today

to do a little shopping in the croix, shot. And he's like, that's a good idea. And but he's like, sounds good. And he says, we can grab a coffee. And there's something fishy here. Also, the editors are hating on Hannah right now because they keep doing these montages of everybody working, but then they cut to Hannah in bed.

Hannah leaning or Hannah smoking. I'm like, you got some dicks. They're probably taking one nap and spreading it out. Yeah. So, so then, so yeah, so, so bugs those in town with Adam. And then meanwhile, so, so essentially the yacht is pulling into this other town. And so as they're pulling in, like the stern line is in the water and Sandy's going nuts. She's like, come on now.

It's yadding 101. You don't put the stern line in the water because when the captain's trying to maneuver the stern line and get all up in the prop. And then you know what it does and makes a lot of noise. And it was napping and smoking up. And I'll tell you one thing. That's some bad rest when that happens. Hey, you know what I want? I want West and I fuck up.

I was like, whoa, captain's getting mad. She's like starting to use the F word and stuff. Yeah, she is. Meanwhile, Bugsie before she goes on her little adventure with Adam. She is sitting there watching Lauren not iron the napkins that she's supposed to be ironing. And she's like, hmm, so she goes up to Hannah and is like, I think that I think that Lauren needs like a token tea. I don't think that like, if you want me to talk to her because she's being slay with all the napkins and we have wrinkle napkins.

And Hannah's like, yeah, yeah, go talk to her. You can be the one and try to talk to her. It's like, oh great, how do you eat? Which comes back later. Only because I'm a tape and my old job and so I can be the one to talk to her because it's still what I do in my heart. So then so then bugs and Adam at the port they get off and they get some fish and they're shopping for fish, which is nice.

And then it's like I follow the culture. I like to follow the culture wherever I am. That's why I like yogurt. Get it. Here, you know, they're like fish. So I'm going to make fish. wherever I am. That's why I like yogurt, get it? Here, they're like fish, so I'm going to make fish. It's like you're on a yacht. What culture doesn't have fish where you go? You're always in a port.

Hey man, back up, you're harsh and much ill. So meanwhile, down on the dock like up like the doc or whatever Whiz and Malia and Bob are all starting to stand around and And was like hey Malia you name me I think he's always like Oh Like oh, what are you like um and then Bob is like yeah, oh right? Oh right? And she just ignores him and he's like oh I feel so alone. And he like walks inside.

She blatantly just regards me, because I was cock blocked. So yeah, this is still all Hannah's fault. And Lauren's fault and not his fault at all. It's always some fucking woman's fault with Bobby, okay? It couldn't possibly be that people aren't attracted to Bobby because he spits on their face and yells at women and calls them fucking names and sexually harasses them. And so it's because someone cock blocked him. So then he goes down to the crew mess and he starts

playing guitar alone and I'm like, this is the saddest single guy thing. I'm gonna get a G-Cord and then we'll see if she thinks of magic Mike nothing is more devastating than having your Matthew McConaughey impersonation go unnoticed I'm gonna get this Let it let it I missed it again He's like did I do it wrong? Are there only two all rights in it? All right? All right? Is that what it was? God damn it. I messed it up So Bugsie and Steph are having coffee and All right, is that what it was? Goddamn it, I messed it up. So Bugsie and Steph are having coffee. And he's like, I just want you to know. Oh, chef.

Oh, yeah, chef. He's like, you know, I'm missing that love aspect in life. Okay, dropping the hint to help him with the girl, which we know this is all about. And then he's like, you know, I just wanted to say, thanks for being strong about your grandma. And she's like crying. And then he's like, you know, I just wanted to say, thanks for being strong about your grandma. And she's like crying. Yeah, he's like, thanks for being so strong about your grandma

dying and everything. She's like, such a asshole. I don't like him at all. He's so blatantly obvious in what he's doing. But I know, she's like, what a sweet hug. Oh, I think she 100% gets it. She's like, look at us, home. So he's, and then he's like, you know what?

Into beginning He's fucking ridiculous on every level every time it comes out of either one of us is completely different It just sounds like a high-pitched fart from us But then so then he's like you know in the beginning I thought she was sort of like goofy and dumb like most women But turns out she's actually really pleasant And then they like cut to her smiling and she's like her smiles were like you're an asshole pig. I'll get it I'll take it on by this coffee

So back to the boat. Sorry, it's what the culture does and I follow the culture women buy coffee for men culture Women are fish. So the boat back on the boat they're like Hannah's taking a nap and smoking and taking a break. Look mom and my mom I mean Andy Cohen Bravo. So the guests are coming back and they're wasted and they're like let's we met Polish people these are my people nice to meet other Polish people. These are my people nice to meet other Polish people I think they've invited 10 guests on to the boat and Lauren is the only stew that's not on Break because the thing is the guests were not supposed to be back so soon So it's like 18 people on the boat or something like that. They're actually like it's a lot and instead of her

Knocking anyone sort of like oh by the way There's more guests we may need some help. She's like no I want people to see that I can do this by myself because they just think oh I could do is laundry but I could do so much more and it's like this whole like weird moment of empowerment for her and so the people come on and the Polish women the new Polish women come on they're like we have up to and espresso martinis I'm like really again with the espresso martinis we'd like some espresso martinis and some cosmopolitan's and anything you've got a

muddle. Anything anything to muddle or blend. It's like the longest drinks ever. Yeah, and it's like I was in the hospitality industry so I can do this. I got it handled. So, uh, the guys are looking around for beers so they got it out of the kitchen and the chefs are like, there are three stewardesses. Someone's got to do this. I'm going to knock on Hannah's door, because she woke me up for nachos. Yeah. He's like, I know women are inherently lazy, but this is

ridiculous. So Hannah comes out and he's like, so she's like, all right, whatever you need. And then Lauren's like, dammit. I wanted to show you Hannah. I could be trusted for more than laundry. And Adam fucked it up. Thanks a lot, Adam. To be fair, Adam actually did save her. Yeah. He 100% saved her wrong things. She was about to have like a string and no no moment. Like she's the possibus and start coming out of that call. And it was not going to go back. And thanks for Hannah was there. And then the other thing thing she's like mad that she told Bobby stuff that Hannah said which is her own doing She's mad that she was a bully in high school. It's like she's always mad at the wrong things. Yeah So now Lauren has a big attitude, you know, cuz then cuz then Adam

He makes like these little snacks and he's like here you can bring these out. She goes please please please As in say it's please say the word please next time like Lauren come on yeah because are you ready and she goes are you asking me or Hannah and he's like and Hannah goes that attitude needs to go sort of like Malia's clothes now strip So meanwhile Bobby is still complaining about his relationship with Malia because he's throwing trash off the boat While Malia is talking to Wes and he's like oh He's like it's not like it's not like it used to be and they show a flashback of like her being like Yeah, one time I shot my pants and like went and he's like did it go down your leg like yeah those wonderful days of Tales of feces. That was so good.

He's like, God, remember back to the old days, we're in the lia. We're having really deep conversation. She's like, and then I shut myself. The way we were, am I right? I just wanted to go back to how it was when we first met. I'm like, she's seen you screaming at women and yelling like, yeah, why don't you just go fuck Ben slut?

Whatever he does, like you're naming it. So then they have a quick cut. It's Bobby about to cry into his lower jaw. And then it's a quick cut of Sandy, just drinking a sip of coffee and she goes, mm. Yes. That's it. Oh, I, you know, I love this coffee. It tastes like it was rested. I love a nice, nice coffee. Mm. So the guests are getting ready to leave and well for yeah, for, oh, for port or whatever. Uh, I think they're

getting ready. Oh, no, no, just because there's Because it's gonna be a toga. It's a party guest, my buddy. We're getting ready for toga time. And then again, Malia is like in the galley. And Adam ever, ever this smooth talker, he goes to Malia. So you look like you're losing weight actually. I mean, everyone likes to be told that, unless you're actually trying to gain a weight. But I just feel like that's just not, not a great opener, you know. And then Malia's like, uh, he goes, Hey, Malia, I made buttercream. Is that the key to your heart? She's like, uh, have I told you to ship my

pant story? And she tells us, uh, he's intriguing, but my last relationship was my captain. So like Malia, you little devil. Which is a devil. So that's the atom icing a buttercake with his fingers. So then the stews are making a massive table scape, which does not seem to have any crystals or stones or shells. But let it slide, because there's a giant pomfron down there. And Lauren is not helping at all. She's downstairs getting her shoulder rub by Max.

And Hannah and Bugsie are getting very annoyed at the lack of Lauren there. And then Adam, again, ever the day, because it's totally Hannah and Bugsie are doing it. And Hannah is driving this operation. And Adam walks and he goes, looks good bugs. And it walks off.

Yeah, you can always count on bugs, bugs. Okay, shut up. And Hannah is not falling for it yet. Like you see that she's annoyed, but she seems to know what he's doing. She does know exactly. And on top of that, even if it wasn't a passive aggressive attack on Hannah,

it's still condescending as hell. Like, it's aggressive. It's not, that's what bugs me about the men on this show. They're not even passive aggressive. They're straight up aggressive. And it's obnoxious. These girls haven't even done anything to them. Yeah.

So dinner, big guy, the big guy, the mob boss. Yeah. Hannah's like, well, you need to get out of this area because we're prepping for a toga party. And he's like, I'm not wearing a fucking toga so he shows up and he's like hey Hannah brings out more wine and he's like you might may not want to mix those wines and she goes I think it's the same bottle and he's like no it's not and she's like well I'll confirm that it's the same bottle and he's like that is $700 kid just kidding you're like my little sister I'll confirm that it's the same bottle and he's like, that is $700, kid.

Just kidding. You're like my little sister. I got a beach on the head. Because you are so much class act. I'm like, what grief did she give you? She just said, could you please say out of this room for like an hour? And if you want, there's a toga party. Fuck you.

Toga party. Bitch. Well, he's had one too many espresso martinias if you ask me. Hmm. Yeah. That guy's an ass. Bitch. Well, he's had one too many espresso martini as if you asked me. Yeah, that guy's an ass. Yeah, just let that sink in. One too many. I was about to say he's had one too many dominoes, but a that's a critical because I'm literally about to press order for when we finish this podcast and be the next line I wrote down is Hannah announcing salad. It's like none of that works together. I'm just gonna be quiet Well, maybe he played too many games for Domino's and he lost all of them. So it was not a good day for him

I said you fucking Domino's tacos Oh Goes I don't understand the mix in these brands dress like little Caesars, but he Domino's what the fuck? So Lauren, I don't know why she says this but she's like, I mean if I'm not in here I'm working okay I heard what you guys were saying. Cause they were complaining about her. And she's like, but they think I'm incompetent and it makes me not myself and they can all

tell. Yeah they said something like where's Lauren, maybe she's down in the build. She's like, I'm coming up this staircase. I think that's what it was. Honestly, there were so many moments where she overheard one word in the galley and then launched into a pity party about why she's not herself and why she feels insecure and how she beat up three girls and now she feels like the bad guy. That's not fair. I do think they're giving Lauren too much to hit. I do. I have to say. Well, yeah, of course there are three new things that happen. Yeah, like it's not the ironing all day

And she literally irons all day. Every time they show where she's doing something like we don't see any scenes of her just sitting around Well, if she Had learned anything from Kate Chastain the joy and of iron of Ironing. She would know that going, being sent on Ironing duty is a time when you can have some peace and quiet from all the craziness above and she should be loving the opportunity. Meanwhile, if you really want war, if you want to be right in the middle of the war and just keep on soldiering, bugs. She's like, if you give me some pots and pans, I'll wash them. Chef's like, you're in mind bugs, bugs, I'm not the opposite of a psychic. His name rhymes with Atlanta.

She's like, mm, he's like, I'm not gonna call Hannah Lazy, but she's a lazy bitch. And Hannah's like, I think he's listening with me here. So it's cake time. And he's like, the chef comes out to announce his cake. And he's like, chef comes out to announce his cake and he's like, this is a four citrus cake to represent the four celebrations along with four layers, orange, grapefruit, lemon, and orange again or something. Like four different citruses that bugs could pick,

but not Hannah. Especially aalive cake minus one citrus. I like that that's his effort to make it four different things. I actually thought it was amazing. It looked it was so tall. I was like I kind of wanted to have some. I'm gonna put all the berries on top of it. The togas like why does it smell like a homeless guy's fingers? It sort of smells like shag carpet. But a really small one.

Why does it smell like mashed potatoes and sriracha? I can't have myself love it. It's a commonly. Okay, so the small guy, okay, so there's like a nice guy and then there's like the big mob guy. Who's it? So the small guy is like, look, FII, I proposed 12 grand for a tip. That would mean around $200 each. And he's like, whoa, we'll resurface. This isn't about service, you know, I have to say yes and no, because if it's about service,

yes and no. And Hannah's like, honestly, honey, if you have to argue about a tip, you shouldn't be here, which is true. Get your fat poor ass off this boat, sir. Yeah, exactly, seriously. How about you enjoy one more espresso marching in and get the hell out of Dodge? And he's like, it's not about money, it's about service. I leave 10 grand. How about that little guy's like, okay,

I got a solution and the big guy's like, yeah, never mind, fuck this. And he walks off all mad. That guy is a pregnant. How about you brought 10 Randos onto the yacht and made this entire crew cater to them? Okay, that alone is worth the extra money for the time. And has already been a dick to the entire staff and then his stupid wife comes up and she's like, you know, you know what,

Hannah, I sense energy. And I feel like there's something wrong with the energy. It's like you married a fat, but he's going to crush you today. Hope it was worth the cheap ass that you ended up getting. That's the energy. Have fun going back to San Diego. Bitch. No kidding. What an asshole. Like it's their fault. It's their fault that there's bad energy, not because it's yelling at people about wanting to jip them on a tip. And I love Hannah's poker face, aka non-existent poker face, because when she's annoyed, she cannot hide it all.

She's like, no, everything's totally fine here. We're just going to clean up all the trash that your shitty husband left around. I'm sorry, when I say shitty, I mean, city. He's from the city of San Diego, that's what I mean. Anyway, goodbye, bitch. I mean, the energy fine with us, we're very happy to be pulling that little tiny back here

as well for every chair that your husband's at on. It's what we love to do, we're here to serve. Thanks, bitch. Yeah, no, the only energy is perhaps the energy of the light bulb. We turned on down on the build, looking for extra curing pods for more espresso martinis. That's all. We're not sad that your husband just yelled about not giving us a tip. It's more than every time we pass this, we smell fart. And I'm sure that's our fault at the end of the day. And it makes us happy to get the end of mystery. We're just concerned because we thought

we're gonna have a big toga party, but then he comes in here smelling like sour cream. We thought, what is strange to make messages? Is this gonna be a gym party or a toga party? I don't know, but I think it's wonderful that he smells like Kibbage. Meanwhile, the chef's like, yeah, I'm feeding you cake, Malia. Yeah, I'm gonna get you a minute for you, the chef's like, yeah, I'm feeding you cake, Melilla.

Yeah, but I can't, yeah, I'm eating for you. And she's like, oh my god, I really like the way Wes eats butter. And Lauren, Lauren's having her own issues. I'm cleaning, I guess I'm cleaning. What else would I be doing? Cleaning. Lauren, can you get more water?

She's like, oh, we're out of water. We're pre-shorts in the bill. She's like, oh, did you check the bill? No. And then they cut to her pulling out all these avions with a bilge. She's like, oh, no level. So down on the kitchen later, Hannah and Chef are there and she's, oh no, this is where Hannah. This is where Hannah does this. But she had done it before. Like this is when she's more aggressive about it,

but she was sort of cock-blocked. She wasn't even cock-blocking, but she was basically saying to Adam, like Malia's into Wes and you should give up and I'm definitely not going to help you. And that's sort of what the implication was. And here she's just more explicit about this is where she says, like we should make them, we should make sure they get fixed. And that's where Adam's like, I'm not sure what your intentions are, but do not in my best interests. Like why would she doesn't work for you cocksucker, okay? So five a max in the mess hall

And he's Oh, no, this is like a nighttime right notice the morning. Yeah, he does this. I don't you can say you guys soon We get into don't wait when you get a bang on the piece That the full bear go to peace No And it was like what? Yeah, I've added that before. Bear go to peace. No. I can't even pass the time I shit my pants. So Lauren is pat and then Lauren passes to her goes, oh, I should have been a dad can't.

Yeah. Looks easy. And they show a clip of Hannah sleeping again. They hate her. So this is where, finally, this is your moment. Who was that? Because Hannah and Buggy start talking about the batteries in the charging station. Because Hannah's like, Buggy, just a quick thing. Then next time when you take out your walkie-talkie from being charged, you could just put mine

in, just make life a little bit easier for me if you could just do that. And Buggy's like, actually, what do you use? I'll take the beach and re-off review because we're saving charged, that's it's growing, you know, so many things here and there'll be charged, it'll be fixed all just like that. And then Adam just wheezing and goes, always down on bugs! I had this like the fuck you, it's too early in the morning and I haven't had my alcohol free espresso motine yet, okay? Oh, hello, it's a good known name. And then we get to see the guest eating breakfast.

And this is how fucking disgusting these people are. They're eating chocolate croissants in ham. Like, that is, you've just ruined your reputation forever. I have a dissenting opinion. I'm sorry, just help you. I'll take it back because I would never dissenting opinion. I have a dissenting opinion. Sorry, just help you both. I take it back because I would never call you disgusting. Wait, did it with, they weren't eating him like in one bite? No, I think it was just something where they probably got to choose.

And when Lady was eating chocolate croissants in ham, it may be really mad. I don't know why. I would 100% and I probably have already done that in my life, yes. I'm a chocolate croissant puritan. I really believe in respecting the chocolate croissant. They're very difficult to find a good chocolate croissant. And I won't even say anything mean about Bristol farms because as brown as their food may be, they have delicious chocolate croissants. Do they really now? Because you know, I'm a gigantic chocolate croissant fan. I'm a huge

sauce. They're the best. They're the best I've found in town. They're the best. Although I hate that they're not in the shape of croissants. They are in a square shape, but they're made that way because if they're made in the shape of a croissant, sometimes that means that they're made in an actual shaper. Yeah. Not always, but you know, that's a lot of dough smushing. You're like smushing butter between different layers of the dough and then rolling it And so it's hard to properly get the chocolate in there being yeah, no, I understand I understand why I just feel like I don't like that

It's called a croissant if it's not in a crecent jade It was just be called something else like a chocolate like love parcel or whatever they would call that in French like like like Kado demo are I'm a sold-in mold the hand more. I like that you have in turn become a below deck passenger. We can't have any ham with our chocolate croissants. We're actually chocolate croissants purists, so could we just have the chocolate croissants on their own?

Thank you so much. We're both ridiculous because you're also like, I don't like square chocolate croissants, but I do like chocolate croissants with ham. This is our way of saying, yes, we will appear on the next season. If someone wants to invite us, we will go onto the yacht and we'll make a lot of lives help for these people for your entertainment.

Yeah, that could be a below deck episode, a whole discussion about croissants and ham. Yes, when you serve tomorrow's chocolate croissants spread, can you make sure that it's only chocolate croissants and no meat? And also, they must be shaped like a crescent. And that would be a full episode and a half. Well, right before this scene, we get the captain going, great job, Wes, with the rope. So now, that's like her second time in the show.

She's like, wow, that was. So now, Max is trying to throw the rope to the dock and he keeps missing over and over. And she's like, all right, five meters in everybody. Everybody, nice big yawn brings oxygen to your brain. Then let's refocus. Three deep and slowly, but don't fall asleep just yet because we have five more meters. All right. slowly, but don't fall asleep just yet because we have five more meters. All right. We're almost there. The 37th lamb is jumping over a fence in your mind. You're not sleeping till 50, five meters in.

So the captain's like, tell me with your fingers, tell me with your fingers, how far is that stern line laying in the water again? I'm fucking pissed. Yes. If I have to see another fucking stern line in the Croatian sea. I am just gonna chip over this banana by myself And she goes Bobby are you two the stern people and he's like, uh, I think you're the stern one He's like all right all right all right, all right, all right. Too many all rights, Bobby.

Listen here, Wes, that can never be in the water. Do you understand? He's like, well, that's my fault. Wes is like, no, it's my folks. I shouldn't have told you to do it that way. Everyone's like fighting to take responsibility. But the captain is just concentrating. She goes, what I mean from

West is he needs to handle the fucking lines like an experienced bozin. I was like, yes, been welcome home. I'm all for the stern line taking a nap, but it's all about the wind in the way or you can't just take a nap in the water, okay? Wait till the guests get off and then you can take a nap stern line. Wes has really gotten me, I'm taking the mobile out of his room, that's it. So then they all line up and the guests come off and then the lady, I guess this is Eva, she's like, I feel energy. Yeah, energy, thank you so much.

This trip made so many memories, like I'm gonna cry, it was really so wonderful. Now here's your shitty tip. I'm gonna miss those Polish people. Every time I have a martini, I'll be waiting for espresso now. So Malia is on a little couch for the tip meeting. And of course, she's flanked by the chef and Bobby. And then he's like, yeah, here you are between two men.

She's like, where are the men? Uh-huh, uh-huh. And they get 12 grand, which I guess looks like I won in the end. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. It actually went up being good, because it's just one day.

So then they learn and bugs. Lauren and Bugsy have a laundry talk. And Lauren's like, it's just that Bugsy, the West's shorts are so stained all the time. Like overwhelmed. And this is after Lauren had previously said, I don't understand these do Vaze. They're so crazy. I mean, the comforter goes inside what? You try and do it. You do. By the way, I agree with her. Do Vays are extremely difficult. No, you have to know that trick. The California role. You ever hear about that? No, I hope it doesn't have mayonnaise

in it like a regular California role. Let's fall. I actually really enjoy a California role. Second of all, I love one without mayonnaise. Well, furthermore, when it comes to do Vays, the California role is just the most lovely trick. Although to be fair I have yet to actually make it. I actually can't do it, but I love the fact that it exists. You look it up afterwards, Ronnie I love that no matter how much shit you've taken for me over the years just with my loud mouth The only way I can really ever get under your skin is with food Compense. I'm like I am going to ignore it. Well, of course, it'll be better with that mail, but I don't think the mail's not bad.

Um, I just, I'm used to it now, because I've been here for a long time. But when I first got here, I was like, they put, I was like, they're doing this wrong. My friend goes, uh, it's called a California role. They were made here. Yeah. They do.

We just call them worlds. You're having it. It's doing it wrong. Yeah. It's like, they could point forward your roles. They just call them worlds. You're having it. It's doing it wrong. You get it. For your roles, they're undeniable. May you win the middle of the crap. Anyway, people so Lauren is getting cookies this point. Oh my god. I thought it was over. We still have so long. Okay. I can't. It's all hilarious.

So Lauren. Yes is overwhelmed by duvets and Expresses shorts where you're not joking these are things that she actually said and now she's talking about how She really hates being assertive and confrontational and it's really hard for her and no one respects her and So bugs is like well, you know what you go to do sometimes The is you have to go and you have bugs is like well, you know what you go to do some tons dear is you have to go And you have to ask some help, you know H.E.L.P. like the Beatles say ask for help. I need somebody help. I want somebody that's all you need to do They don't like me

Obserting and I don't like like asking for help and I don't like like admitting that like I'm gonna cry Like I just don't like admitting it. I'm gonna cry, you know what I've helped. I didn't have enough comes, I was like, all right, stop the crawl and the sheriff's in town now. I'd like to be included in this because I'm the head still now, shut the fuck up and get to eyeing, okay? Because I don't feel appreciated,

and I work my ass off. Well, we all do. We all work our ass off, and if you don't ask for hell lives, Mita Elephant flows meta So put it on like to be assertive will you're gonna be assertive? Did you rather be assertive or would you rather cry and affect your stew and then affect your chief's stew? Here I am sitting on a bed upset

But he's sitting there not knowing whether she should stack a bowl of you put some butter cream on with an actual knife Look what you're doing to us It's like well I was left to deal with Laurie in and now Hannah's there and it's like a slap in my face Who got you so made Lauren It was my daughter it was son! It was my daughter! It was my sister! It was my daughter! It was Adam! I don't know why I gave Lauren Bugs' voice, but I'm just gonna go with it. What's she talking about her sister in a daughter? That was funny when she's like,

Well, this is why I feel like that because my mom... And then they started showing pictures of her when she was a little girl and she has this like furious face on. This is the first time I refused to ask for help. My mom's my Doris and she's really demanding and I just wanted to please my mom and I want to please everyone now do Vazor a puzzle. She's like if you don't ask for help I can't help you. You understand? She's like okay.

I actually don't understand. So what should I do next? If you don't understand my health analogy, you have to ask for help with the health analogy. And Hannah's like, well, I'm gonna get a rocket ship back up her backside and get a moving. And bugs, guys. I don't know, rocket ships and butts that's dangerous.

If I was Chief Steve, there would be no rocket ships in bombs Mule upstairs always count on bugs the shorts up Shots up right now also never stick your charges again So they're getting ready to go out on the town and when Malia comes in looking pretty bobs Bobby's like whoa You look hot. I'm not saying, you know, like, and I'm not saying this is bad, but like, I like what you normally do,

you know, like when you're natural, because that's hotter. And she's like, uh, I love that. So much. Yeah, I really love how you're calling me sloppy and also sexual harassing, sexually harassing me at the same time.

Good job. And he's like, I learned a G-Cord. Ugh, cockblock. This is all Hannah's fault. Well, Bobby is actually now hilarious because now he's lost all his confidence from Malia and he's so self-conscious that he is just fully awkward. And I don't even think that she's just like indifferent to him. You know, she's like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

He's like, awww. So they go out to dinner,huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh refrigerator, how do you know it's possible? I don't even understand the face fork. And the chef's like, I didn't get enough time with Malia. So I'm going to stake that claim. Oh my God. So they're all dancing and drinking and Bobby, like, finds this person with roses. Like, oh, all right. I'm going to buy all these roses and then when all the girls sitting at the table, come by with the roses.

It'll be a big grand gesture. She's like, mm, roses, hotah, hotah, hotah, hotah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, He's like, oh it's brand new, brand new van. Doesn't smell at all like compost. Who wants to get laden of hand, you know? She's like, well that would be cool. And he's like, yeah, this is my kind of girl. I never have to pay rent. So then the girls were like, oh look, there's a guy with roses.

And they go get the roses out by themselves. They come back to the table and Bobby's like what did Hannah buy those god damn it Hannah why you telling the rose man about everything I'm doing you're really for everyone Rose blocked me rose blocked uh so Malia so Malia is basically talking to bugs because bugs he's like well it must be fun to be the bad guy left the bowl. Hope you don't get beat too hard at dinner time, Bell.

And she's like, yeah, I don't want to go for Adam and then messing up with Wes, but then I don't want to go for Wes and messing up with Adam. Because they're both like, I don't know, they're both still like mediocre. It's like, I mean, one looks like that lady who has that restaurant and yeah, he has a man. Yeah. Meanwhile, Bobby is like, so you know, it's kind of funny because I I actually bought the roses and then it was gonna show up like and

look really romantic. But like and then Malia sitting there with the rose just plucking the the petals off. She's like loves me he loves me not he loves me he's like uh uh so like the roses though and she think it loves me not right but then I told her like when the girls get back he loves me he loves me not he's like oh he's like well all right all right all right all right all right all right all right all right all right right? I'm sick with that from. Jammin' it. Jammin' it. I can't stand doing it.

I'm getting all right to it. So, Seth and Vagzie, he's like, despite my comments, you know, despite my bullshit comments bugs, you're the best stewardess and like, hammer, robbing, whatever, you know, you're it. And she's like, I don't know where this is coming from, but I could along with her now and she's right there. So maybe be quiet. She's like, oh, you're so adorable to think that your compliments mean anything to me. You're showvin' us. So. And then he goes, you're proactive. That's what I'm like, not be honest. I have a chance with with Malia, right? You're gonna help me. So obvious. And then she goes, I don't know.

How do you feel about Wes? And he's like, I'm not worried about him. And she goes, I would be. And then it shows Wes with his hands on Malia's back. And he's like, I don't blame him, but he's her boss. And that's a no-no. I'm like, so is putting buttercream on cakes with your fingers. Yeah, so I'll let you back down

So then where's the Malia they do wind up kissing and he is an aggressive arm around the head kisser like I you know I remember when we were watching Finding Prince Charming I think one of the good things that that like piece of cardboard Robert Spulvich Jr. Would do is that when he would kiss, he would cut his hand, not the guy's cheek a little bit, which I think is actually very romantic, but West does like the back of the head pull in and all around. I was like, oh, West, no. You're doing it wrong. He kind of makes her kiss. Like he grabs her head and pulls her in. Yeah, she was not into it. She kept doing the

laugh. She kept on laughing to take herself out of it. And he's like, yeah, but he's like holding her there. Yeah, that's, I mean, not, not cool. And she's like, um, okay, well, you know, and he's like, this goes against everything. She's like, um, okay, well, I didn't see this one coming. Yeah. I mean, he's my boss. And then she goes right up to the chef. And it's like, I just got kissed by my boss. Yeah. And he's like, I'm not going to let that fool take my piece of vagina. I'm sticking it. So then they wind it back on the boat. And Wes is talking with bugs, bugs and saying like, it just sucks that they're happy to be a really cute girl

my my my department and it changed yet that we've all seen the interest and we really like each other it's just it's too bad and bugs is like I think it's a great idea to think he has I think it's a good thing and don't worry about I think she's totally into you and then it cuts to Malia and Adam in the corner and he's like please forget him come on kiss me says no and he grabs her and makes her kiss him. It's like this girl, can she just fucking kiss you? She wants it once. These guys just like grab her and start sticking their tongue.

Like he had her cornered. Not cool. I mean, here's the thing. Maybe she wanted a kiss. Adam, we can't let you tell. Maybe I flossed almost all the tuna from my teeth today. It just bugs me It's like the girl everybody's fighting over her cuz she's like the youngest prettiest girl They're all fucking pigs. They're all not good enough for her. Adam's way too old. Yeah, just leave her alone

If she likes you she'll come for you. Don't just go sticking your tongue down women's throats like hello I'm sticking a tongue down people's throws fucking below deck med there's something about this particular show where that it's like last year with the guy when the guys like hey kamea sit on my thumb i mean really well that guy brion i'm at least he asked you see he's a gentleman compared to these guys well it'll be interesting because i remember from the the uh... the trailer for the season li Malia has

a moment where I mean, she's going to get slut shamed very soon and she has a moment where she's like, you can't just like pass me around. I remember that she something like that is on the horizon. It'll be interesting to see how it. Well, next week Lauren's slut shames her and then so does Bobby because you know when Bobby doesn't get what he wants, he just calls a woman a bitch. So next week he's like, yeah, makes you wonder who's next in line. Yeah, exactly. You mustn't, you don't like me, so you're a total slut. Yeah, says the guy who's already a third in line, and

you're still standing there, you fucking gump. Yeah, it says the guy who's already kissed Hannah and kiss Lauren. Huh? Yeah. Let people screw who they want to screw for crying out loud just cuz she's a woman doesn't mean she's not entitled to a little bit of nucky on the side okay yeah amen a mother fucking man starring Sherman Helmsley I was typing in Domino's cuz it's the end of our show and I wrote Durinda's I'm like why isn't this popping up immediately? Hey, you want to avoid the noise huh? Well, too late because I've already got remote on the phone. Hello, the ambulance Durin. Darling, you got jammed!

Hey, no, you better back the fuck up, noid. You better back the fuck up. It's my pizza now. Get it? I made it noise. Gady? Well, more of that tomorrow because tomorrow is New York City. We are always excited for that. Everyone, we made it through Wednesday. We made it through below-deck med, which is becoming one of the highlights of my being

personally. So, guess what? We'll talk tomorrow. Bye everyone. Bye. Hey everyone, thanks for listening to the podcast today. We really appreciate the love and support you guys show us.

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