Watch What Crappens - #470 Southern Charm Sav: Baggage

Episode Date: June 2, 2017

It’s the first dinner party war of Southern Charm Savannah, and no one is safe. Accusations are hurled and chinchilla wraps are disrespected, but at least Brandon got his damn biscuit. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-sla-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media.

On Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram and Facebook at what-crapins. We'll see you there! I'm not a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy.

I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. I'm just a bad guy, I'm just a bad guy. We love you girls. Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappings podcast. The podcast about all that crap we lived to talk about on Yeo Bros. Our money carom from Trash Talk TV and the Rose breaks a Bachelor at podcast. And here I am with the gorgeous and slightly under the weather. Ben Mandelker of the Beside Blog in the Bands of Blinda.

Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? A surger, like surger, everything's great. And it's really great because today, we get to talk about Southern Charms Savannah. Oh, you know, good for you, Southern Charms Savannah. We were waiting for you to do something truly podcast

worthy. And I feel like this week you finally brought it to us. So thank you. I'm excited for this episode. I'm excited to talk about it. Yes. As usual, the internet isn't really sure what to think, but I'm personally loving it. I mean, I'm laughing every time. So I'm not sure if I would say I'm loving it.

It's not quite at McDonald's level for me. It's probably like a solid Carl's Jr. where it's like, it's fine. It's works in a pinch. But like the original Southern charm, and as Greenwood said yesterday in our listener spotlight, you know, the original Southern charm took a little bit to get up to speed. It was like fine.

It wasn't amazing, but by the end of the season, it's sort of like, you know what I sort of like that show. And I feel like Southern Charms of Anna's moving on that trajectory is't amazing, but by the end of the season, it's sort of like, you know what I sort of like that show? And I feel like Southern Charms Savannah is moving on that trajectory. It's not amazing, but it's entertaining enough so far. Oh, that's like what a warm hug. What a warm hug to Savannah. Yeah.

This one opened up with Nelson doing the... Preview scene on Southern Charms Savannah. Mm-hmm. I didn't write down the whole things that don't worry, but I love that he said, well, in Savannah, people get married faster and you can say because he's in tight. Yeah, I was like, wait, what is one thing have to do the other,

but then I realized he said wedding fever and so I guess the fever is supposed to correlate to, because in tight, which I should have known, how about we leave it out of our sentences from now on? Like, let's how about that? That's German, not Yiddish. So, to be fair, even better. To be fair, even better.

You know, actually someone wrote us a very thoughtful email. I'm not gonna read the whole thing right now, because I don't have a pulled up, and it's not worth reading the whole thing, but they said like a very thoughtful thing that was not trying to be mean, but was trying to take an empathetic tone or approach to Nelson. Because remember last week, we were like, you know, Nelson, we feel bad because he's just

trying to fit in and he doesn't have the tools to know how to do it, et cetera. And someone said suggested maybe he might actually have Asperger's. Maybe like this person said his traits I recognize them in like, I think it was his own son or someone that he knows and that sometimes, you know, like people who have Asperger's, they don't always understand the social cues and it's just like attempts to try to fit in. I'm not, I'm butchering the eloquence that the email was sent to us, but it's an interesting theory also, you know, because the question is, is Nelson gay? Is he not gay?

If he isn't gay, why is he act that way? So maybe there's a mimicry of just whoever he's around to try to fit in, because he doesn't understand social things. I could also be totally butchering what Asperger's is all about, but I thought it was an interesting theory nonetheless. Yeah, just trying to figure out Nelson.

The internet is a favorite young adult novel. Yeah. Yeah, I don't really need to figure out Nelson. Like I don't care what it is, but I can't give him like fake diseases to excuse anything. You know, I feel like in this day and age people are good at coming up with their own diseases to fake shit. And at some point he will, you know, someone will be like, just say you have, you know, Lyme or whatever and he'll be like, well, Lyme disease, am I right? Well, we'll be okay, Nelson.

Okay. La, la, la, la, la, la. Yeah, I'd rather wait until he announces a disease before I start calling him a liar about it. Yeah, that's only fair. Okay. So we opened this episode with Dan doing push-ups on his indoor hot tub

It's nice. He was actually wearing a pink floral shirt from Target as we know from Twitter Thank you Twitter and a cheetah skirt because she's crazy You know, I'm not gonna shame her for that because I'm wearing shorts from Target as we speak Oh, yeah, no, no, there's no target shaming here. I'm more shaming about the pink floral with the cheetah. Yeah, it was a it was a clash of the Titans there. That was like an I'm crazy that we don't need to see on your blouse. You know what I'm like, let's have lunch and then we'll talk about how crazy you are. Yeah, I don't need to to wear it. Yeah. So Ashley is with

her friend Zia. Yeah, he's a cute little Aussie guy. And she's like, since the fire happened, we haven't been using the third floor, but I found a gula lady to come in and clean the energy. Because gula is a mix between Catholicism and voodooism. How is there a mix between Catholicism? You know that voodooism is a total sin in Catholicism, right? I I personally don't know. I don't know, you know, I'm Jewish, so I'm just like, okay, sounds good to me

I learn everything from reality TV everything is a sin in Catholicism like literally everything I'm sure Gola is some probably doesn't have its own chapter, but it would piss people off So sister Pat comes in, she is representing the gala religion. She comes in to clean spirits from the room, et cetera. And so they go upstairs the third floor, which still looks the same. And she's like,

oh yes, there's a spirit of anxiety waiting and pleading for someone to let them go. I'm like, I don't think the the spiritual like please let me go The spirit's like can you please clean up in here please? Yeah, they're like could you please get the dust bunny self the fan before we all die again Is the spirit of a black and ducker fan saying could you please dust the me please? I like when she came in she's like oh hello, I'm sister Pat how you'll be as we say on the island like We say that everywhere, but then when she goes I need to go out to this room that go up There's shoes on every step of the store. Yes of the stairway, which is Ashley's way of like decorating

But especially once you've just had a Emergency don't put shoes on the stairs like with the Yeah. Are you trying to kill poor Izzy? Like, I think the fact that Izzy has made it this long is shocking to everybody watching the spirits. All they want is a visit from the fire marshal. They're like, listen, we need to somehow fix the situation. Even we're tripping and we are transparent. The spirits are telling me they want to hang in the bag to put the shoes in. Sister Pat's like okay so what the spirits are saying is clean up all the glata. There's too much glata here for your soul. She's like actually I just want you to check up the third floor. Also this is not the problem area okay.

So she does a prayer and while Ashley tells us you know the bad energy is probably a slave because you know of all the history and Savannah and The slave just needs acknowledgement to move on. Oh, if it were just that simple Ashley Oh, okay, so we just have to do that. We'll fix everything. Yeah, thanks slaves. Okay, everything's better everybody So then sister Pat. Yeah, they like hold hands. She's like, Dia and Susters and Spirit in this room. We are so sorry that the house you have to hunt has to be this cluttered. But at least there are more things for you

to throw around and spook people with. Am I right, everyone? Okay, so you can go now. Good to buy, yeah. And then she's like, can I give you a hug in my bra? She's like, no, keep your clothes on, girl. She goes, well, the only other question

I have to ask is about my husband who I really don't like very much. Not a your soul mate. Not a your soul mate. I could tell by the way, you almost spit on the floor when you said my husband. And you're a man. She'll have man hasn't come because you are blocking it. And if he came up these stairs, he'd probably trip and break his neck neck anyway girl. You are literally blocking him with all these church keys in this house. Your house can't get past the shoe stairs. Now do you want to go swimming? No. Because you know we learned how to swim before we walk in Southland?

Yes I'm aware. I made a bet you'd say that. Put on your clothes girl. So next up is Hannah and Lewis. Now our Hannah and Lewis, I guess I should say. Louis. Um, so now it turns out that Hannah is going to be a dress designer, which our favorite thing on this show is to look at the drawn out designs of Bravo levities because they're always classic. Yeah. This is not going to go

well for poor Hannah. I like Hannah so far, but has there ever been a Bravo dress line that has taken off? I don't think so. So first they're going into like, they're going to shopping, they're browsing for fabrics and they're walking around. And you know, Louis is actually in the fashion industry as he has a sock company.

So they're walking around looking at my socks inspired. And it's better to be like, if he can do that, then I can definitely make some dresses. So he's like every fabric is like, he's like, what about this fat? What about some lace? You want to make a lace dress? He's like, no, he's like, what. I can't believe this idiot has a stock company and I married him. We're going to be married. So they talk about the golf again, or kind of, because she's like, how was golf? Did everyone keep their rompers on?

Uh-huh, just kidding. So she's talking to this lady who's going to be her mentor. No, that's later. Oh, it is? Yeah. That's later. Later, scene. Oh, okay. So Luis, like, well, Lyles is ready Oh, it is. Yeah. That's a later later seen. Okay. So Louis like, well, Lyle's ready to rock and roll with Catherine. You know, if, oh, because they're talking about the beach

party. They're just like, what are you talking about? Oh, they're planning a beach party. They're planning a beach party. They, well, so basically they're, yeah, they're just, they're just looking at fabrics. And then Louis again, talking about like, he keeps hearing all these rumors about Ash, he's like, he's even heard that maybe that fire was fake. And Hannah's like, no, again talking about like, he keeps hearing all these rumors about Ashley, he's like, he's even heard that, maybe that fire was fake. And Hannah's like, no, I mean, like, come on now. The Dennis got burned. Yeah, she's like, she didn't just like take a big letter,

a big lighter to Izzy's legs, okay? Like he was burned. And he's like, well, I just want the truth. I'm just gonna go get Louie. I love the Scooby-Bam on this show. They're like, did she fake a fire? But I am proud of a person on a reality show, even suggesting that would be fake,

because it's so long. Yes, I mean, it's already crazy that they're accusing her of being a bag of Chandler, but then also that she started a fire. I mean, the rumors are ridiculous on this show. So then we go to Ashley and... She wasn't a bag of Chandler. Well, I was going to lead

up to that. We don't know that right now, but it's fine. I'm on the internet. I know everything I know from the internet. Well, I mean, at this point in the show, I'm still chuckling because I think the idea that like, oh my god, she's a bag of Chandler. I'm like, what a crazy rumor to make up and also a crazyour to actually be like in a tizzy about even if it were true. So at this point, that girl has a job done done done. So in my mind, I'm like, not only is it hilarious that they've like come up with this, the big scandals that she's possibly a baggage handler, which is not scandalous at all, and also so oddly specific. But now that she started a fake fire, so right now I'm already, like, this shows kind of hilarious and what they're grasping for.

But then we go to Ashley and Dennis and they're cooking dinner and Izzy comes downstairs. Izzy is really cute. He's super cute. He's like, I just came downstairs to say I love you guys. Stop feeding me bad food. Bye. Please stop trying to poison me. Thanks. Yeah. So then when he goes back upstairs, Ashland and us are sitting on the couch and she's like, well,

Gullah lady came by and Turns out we're not soulmates, which I didn't think because we didn't have sex But I guess we're not soulmates and he's like well, you know, I enjoy living here So leave the salt and pepper alone, right? Oh, that's romantic. That's an affirmation of being a soulmate. I know. When this was all Ashley talking in the testimonials, like, there's no romance. I was like, that sucks for the husband to have to hear about that on TV. But she's not hiding it at all with him. She just, and you know, this is a conversation she has every week. Like, time for family meeting on the couch with the box of friends. You know, well, we really don't love each other. And he's like, who

cares? I went to spade. And she's like, oh, I'll try again next week. But she tells them, you know, the lack of romance is really bugging me. You can't just ignore it. And he's like, look, I'm not going to take relationship advice from a psychic, which is a fair point. But it's also there's still no romance. Yeah. Yeah. And it's nothing to do with. And yeah no romance. Yeah. Yeah. And it breaks my heart, but I knew what I was getting into. We just got married to go to Dubai together because it's Islamic. And you can't live there when you're unmarried or I could go to jail. And then we stuck it out. Oh my god. It's called. I moment. I feel like there have been some really bad decisions in this in this marriage. That's

what I feel like. Oh man. Yeah, I mean, I feel like you can blame that part of the world for a lot of things. But marrying to go on a vacation really isn't one of them. Yeah, I don't even know why they went to Dubai in the first place, which was like a fashion opportunity. I don't know. So, um, so then it's beach day time for that beach party. Everyone gathers on the beach and, um, Katherine is, I like she's drunk. She's talking about someone's. Who's hands you talking about? Who's talking about Daniels? A Louie. She's like, look, my hand is as big as yours.

And then she's like, you know what they say? If you got big hands and big arms, then maybe you need a larger size shirt and gloves or a boomerang. Ridiculous. You know how the saying goes? The size of your hands are indicative, and she's just like playing with her own fingers, and the producer goes, big arms, and she's like, I don't know. And then she just drinks some more.

Yeah, I like her. I like that she's not just straight up alcoholic. She's an alcoholic with his annex prescription, because she's just always like, what? And they just keep the camera on her while nothing's happening. Do you want a black couch?

Maybe a fake cow hide for your floor? You know what they say? Big couch means big hands, right? Is that how it goes? I don't know. So Nelson's like, I happy and other, other boyfriend that mother didn't approve of.

I like you. All to meet my girlfriend. We started dating last January. I remember the day because lady Gaga came out and knew song that day. It was just a wonderful day. It was called born this way. I mean, he wasn't in my right. Like I was born as a male, a heterosexual male.

So I really identified with that song, right? Then there's a hot guy who's hanging out with them. And he's like, I thought that dude was gay and Captain goes, I've known him for a long time. And despite his behavior, he's not gay. And then it cuts to Nelson going like Rihanna says, work, work, work, work, work. You know, I never realized that song was about working at home.

It's about inspiring me to open up my mortgage utility, Van, Van rental company, magistrate. Just when I thought I'd never see Hell of Dolly again, Bid Middler's in it. Darn it. I love that musical only because I really respect the way Dolly's can transport things across the floor. Oh, Lyle's like, yeah, actually gets it. Wait till she gets here. They're like planning this.

I love that they're planning this like a big huge bag of tampler confrontation. It's a late day. Yeah. So then these two hot guys come by including this one guy named Alejandro speaking of Lady Gaga and man he is super hot. I was like can we have more Alejandro on this show please like every episode? Yeah they're gross. They're just like hey yeah we're on TV we have mics that's hit on you. They're playing volleyball and so they separate in the teams and they just have a montage of Nelson trying to hit the ball. He's like, oh, oh, that one did that one. Good guys. I know I know That one a little too high a little too high sort of like if Lady Gaga tried to hit something out of her register You know she can do that Madonna can't I have to say she cannot do it. She did not have the boss for it

But I do love her as a showman And then Catherine the the boys approach Catherine. She's like who are these boys? Hell yeah Yeah, hell yeah, You want to play. I feel like y'all are very cute. Hey, y'all have big fingers. And I hear that big fingers mean that you can thumb wrestle real well. One, two, three, four. I smell a thumb warp. You know what I mean? Hey, remember those commercials when they had the thumb with a little smile face and spelling garbage bags? Those were the days, am I right boys?

You guys should have an arm sword fight. So she's like, guys, are you single? And they're like, you single? Where's your boyfriend at? Cause he's not here and she goes, no, he's not. I'm feeling flushed. He's at the rider cup, and so does and stuff and whatever. I'm gonna flushed. He's at the router cup, so does and stuff and whatever. Blackouts.

She's like, hey guys, can I feel your arms? Because I feel like you've got muscles. And so they flex and she feels them. And then the guys are watching from across the beach and Daniel goes, what's she doing? That's so disrespectful. I don't walk up to chicks and say, you have great tits. Can I grab them? I'm like, you literally do.

And we saw you do it last week at the end of that episode. So it's also different when a girl does it to a guy versus when a guy does it to a girl. I'm sorry, it just is not, you cannot reverse it and have some sort of like, you had any expectation as the same situation and just not work out that way. I'm sorry. And you know, it's less offensive when she does it because they're mic'd and signing to be on TV.

Whereas the girls you were walking to had their faces blurred out most of the time. Yeah. So then Ashley shows up and she starts talking about how the girl the girl a lady came by and what I'm really loving is that happy is turning into Into the the bitch of the show. And we're going into, I know, I've had to say, we already knew, basically from that time at the wedding shower, when, when, uh, when Catherine said that like, Oh, I feel like I actually dressed like a slut happy. She always is, huh, just kidding.

I was like, yes, happy. You know, my friend, no one named happy is nice. I just don't, well, I just don't believe that there's a person named happy that's nice. And so she's like, well, gola, she's like cool. Happy goes, summoning spirits, that's not even something I believe in. And then she actually goes, you know what?

I could tell that they weren't even listening and happy goes, I wasn't listening. Yeah. So the boys are leaving and Katherine goes, love you guys. Bye. Well, also, I love that the elephant in the room is that it's Ashley a baggage handler. And like Daniel's like, no one wants to simply ask her. Is she a baggage handler or not?

I'm like, no one wants to ask her because it's a stupid question. Who cares? And Catherine's like Ashley gives her this long hug. So Ashley's like starting to feel kind of comfortable, which is a huge mistake. So then Catherine and Dan, yeah, he's like, hey, can we talk about the pink elephant? I'm like, oh geez. This show, that's now the fourth show this week. Just talked about elephants in the room and they're all different. It's like the pink elephant, the white elephant, all kinds of elephants in rooms.

He's like, Laya wants to be with you and she goes, we're not in the room. Why did I put that? We're not in the. Oh, we talk about the pink elephant in the room. We're not in there. Oh, we talk about the pink elephant in the room. We're not in a room Because of course I want to be with him like why do you think I've been here all these years? Like you haven't He moved away and he moved away now. You moved back together to be honest. So what are you talking about? Well then Catherine says the problem is that Lyle gets moody and then we see some footage of a loud beam really like

Can you please stop adding makeup to my face Please and so beauty he put me in a dark when he doesn't let me beat his face He puts me in a dark place, okay, and Daniel's like I don't believe it I don't believe that Lyle is booty. I think she's just saying it's that way she can blame him for why they haven't gone Gone along. I'm like what is there not to believe about the fact that Lyle might be moody? It's like the most blame him for why they haven't gotten along. I'm like, what is there not to believe about the fact that Lyle might be Moody? It's like the most benign character his assassination of all time.

He's a little Moody. I don't believe that for a second. She's like, Moody, listen here, big hand arms, back off. So then there's a big hand. Get off my black couch in the beaches. There's one of those parachute things that you ski with. What is it? What is it called? I know what you're you're talking about. I think the little fan and you're like

up in the sky. Yeah. I'm being dragged by a boat and Elsen's looking up at any thing. It's like a horse. It's like a horse and carriage in the sky. It's like a go cart in the sky. You know, it's like go car for what? You you know I'm saying? So let's see blah blah blah. Now Ash actually gives her number to Alejandro and the friend, which is, that's probably, and she should probably should not do that. It's one thing to admire his biceps. She probably should not be giving her number out, but whatever. And then of course, it's time to go swimming.

And so, and so, Hannah's like, you know, Ash actually starts to go into the pool and then Hannah goes, well, obviously we know Ashley loves taking her clothes off in front of our boyfriend and happy guys, I hate that. You guys, she's in a bathing suit. Yeah. And even a slutty bathing suit, it's like one from the 50s. It's like a very modest bathing suit. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I mean, there's a lot to get on Ashley about, I think.

They have some, they have some definite complaints, but this is not one of them. They're like, that girl got in her bathing suit at the beach. What a bitch. I hate that. Like, literally, I'm like, why? Like getting in her bathing suit at a beach at a place

where people swim, who does that? And Luri is like, well, I wouldn't be given, I wouldn't be happy if Hannah was given out her number, but I trust Hannah and that's the difference. I was like you are such a bitch Louie and I love it. I love your sock making a little self and Katherine goes guys I haven't been hit on since 1985 okay. Like let me get away with it and also goes well that's all scuttle butt and she goes your scuttle butt. So Hannah's good. Someone the patented batonage one will find on Southern Charms of Anna.

Fuck I'm working there is in the sky. So Hannah goes to the seamstress lady dressmaker lady. Yes, now you have that's time for Kate. This lady just looks at them like. Yeah, it's kind of funny because when you first see the, when Hannah says that she wants to start a dress line, she talks about how she worked in different fashion houses in the New York City, and she's a lot of experience. And she comes here, she comes this very sweet looking little dress making shop. That's very sort of, looks sort of holly hobby. And there's

this woman named Kate who has this big gray hair. And you sort of expect the way the scene is going to go is that Hannah is bringing her Cosmopolitan learning to this sweet little shop and this one Kate is not going to know what to do. That's sort of what I thought that seems going to be. But then Hannah, you know, Hannah's like Kate is like the one she is the dress making queen of Savannah. So Hannah presents her sketches and they honestly made Lizzie from the OC made hers look like like highly detailed

and meticulous depictions of bathing suits. Cause this was just like square with a line through it. Yeah, it was square and she goes, well, I don't wanna call these bathing suit cover ups, but when you come off the beach and your bathing suit, you cover yourself up. And case like it's a rectangle with a line through it. Okay, show me something else.

And the lady's like, I've seen this 1,000 times. So next, it's like, well, this is a roblit dress. It's like a robe and a dress, but it's like, you know, a dress. She goes, honey, this ain't a dress unless it closes. This is a rectangle with the string. All right, here's what you need. You need to do more research because you do not have a great product. Now, don't be terrified.

And then Hannah tells us clearly we're on two different pages. And I don't want to be in polite, but I don't think we'll be working together. I'm like, no shit. Sure. Like, and I don't think it's your decision. And then this woman just starts mocking her. She finds like this one. She says, okay, here's what we're going to do for you.

Here, I'm going to hit you with fat, like, very godmother dust. And we're going to save you because this is shit. It's all shit. You have presented me with shit. Good luck. You know what you should do? Start selling poop bags because you're laying piles of shit wherever you go. Okay, at least you know you'll be buying them.

Did you steal the design some she buysashi Rae because that's what this looks like? And so she goes, I'm going to use this one to make your wish come true. And Hannah goes, or Vanishing a puff of smoke. It's like, LOL. I can't wait until you take those designs to someone and they're like, Oh my God, a square with a string. We are doing that. Who? What was that? I'm trying to remember now. Oh, you know who she needs to go see? She's see Alexis Blano's dressmaker. Remember that lady with the crazy face? Yes. Who made all of Alexis's maxi dresses? That's who Hannah needs. Some crazy lady, he'll just follow orders and then take credit for herself.

Also, as fun as it is to make fun of your terrible sketching, I like that she's like, you know, I'm brand new with this. I'm really on step one. It's just a dream. I know I have a lot to learn because that's very where to hear in the bravo world. Normally people are like, how dare you? This would have been sex. And second of all, if you're just making a cover up in a wrap, it really only needs to be a square. So pick some cute fabrics and put them in some store somewhere. I mean, it's not brain surgery. Yeah. Like, why don't you follow awesome patricious lead and make half-tans because you just need a whole bunch of fabric. I believe in you. I believe in you, but you need to know that. I believe in you and me. So, um, so now we go over to happy. Happy goes and visits her mom on the dock and the mom is crabbing, which is a good,

sort of symbolic moment for this. And actually actually even more symbolic is that we see footage of the dog in the crab fighting, which for some reason really warmed my heart. I just like that poor crab that's like, what the fuck is going on? I'm not in the water anymore and there's a giant furry thing trying to sniff me. I don't like it. I love that the crab was facing off with him and both the pinches were in the air and it was like moving back and forth on his feet. Like, come to me, come to me, give it like come to me come to me give it to me Doug you give me

like a big brother yeah claw hands you need to get out of my face right now okay Terry Terry are in bed right now sleeping how could you do that to me why are you trying to sniff me when I'm making a near-rule of my children as eggs in a tree? That really was the best thing. God, and get me your mother fucker. I'm ready for your dog. Yeah, that crap was, that crap's like if I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me. Who's that bitch over there crying? Oh, that's happy. Oh, God, all the grabs know about happy. She's the worst. And the mom's like, well, welcome home happy.

Look at me. Glad to be the one catching crabs for once in this family. It's like, mom, at least someone's doing something around here. At least someone is here to pass long traditions of our grandpathers and grandmothers. And happy says, well, I understand that it's hard for my mom losing her daughter to someone who's completely different. And then it cuts to the mom from the baby shower going, well, she can't have a cross in the house. What's she do, you're going to do nail a crab to the wall? Doesn't work. I've tried. So, so happy is like so mom I just want to like talk to you

about the prospect of you know having a baby that's gonna be raised in a non-Christian home and mom goes isn't this crap good? So you can't change the subject. She says but I just did. I was like, eee cold. I was like I like the mom. She totally would not accept me into her life but I like her. Well the mom's probably annoyed because they've had this conversation a million times. She showed up to the baby shower. It's like she's not going to change her whole opinion on it. And she doesn't want to be humiliated on TV. Yes. And happy. He's like, okay, we'll just talk about crap. So mom, are you going to stand between me and my man? She's like, God, damn it.

Happy. And happy says, we just want to make sure you love us. And she goes, I love you to death. Just like those stones will stone you to death. And minute you walk over there and don't wear hat. Okay. So have fun with that. Yeah. She goes, you know, the thing is, I just don't know. I don't know. A Zam was raised. I don't even know that's his name. I mean, who has a name that's almost like Mazda spelled backwards. It's very strange to me. I don't understand these things. I just think we need to sit down and be educated about the terrorism in his family. She's like, mom, we can't buy y'all a dresser because the minute we do, we're going to have to say, you know, that's carpentry and Jesus started that. And it's going to blow his damn mind. Like how do you

explain carpentry to people? Happy how? Mom, I'm not going to have these tensions at the wedding. Let's talk about the weddings and the invites out. Let's talk about invites. Crab scraps, crabs. She goes, well, okay, you want to talk about the wedding? Fine. Have you done the save the dates? She's like, yes, mom. She goes, well, when are you sending them? She goes, I don't know. What do they look like? Mom,

you didn't do them. Did you? Yes, I did. No, you didn't do them. Did you? Did he tell you not to? Oh, you're in one of your moods again, huh? I'm not a dark board. I'm your mother. Okay, I named you happy for a reason. So be happy. Okay. For a song about you. Okay. And I commissioned it. Those people hate saving dates. It's like, mom, and then the mom goes, now you're in one of your moods. And she goes, would you want me to want to make me defend myself even more? And she's like, you are being defensive. And you got to learn to be forgiven if you're gonna be in In a marriage because that's what marriage is it's forgiveness. I am not the dark lord happy. I'm your mother

Fuck you and fuck these crabs. I'm going up to watch my stories. I'm so using that if I'm never a mom. I'm not the dark lord I'm so using that if I'm ever a mom. I'm not the dark lord. I'm your mother Happy like takes down her like invisible barrier of magic spells. Oh, I thought you were the dark lord. I'm so sorry mom Anyway, I did a I did a roll check and I rolled a I rolled a 20 so I think I automatically get a hit on you. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident, not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. Happy stop doing DMD on me. Now happy, why does your husband have to use a die with so many sides on it? What happened to a good old six-sided die?

What do we need 20 sides nowadays? I mean people just want a die aside for everything. Those people got to change our entire culture. You ever try to play monopoly with a 20-sided die? I mean, you were just making laps and laps and laps. You go try and play Yotsie with that family and they're 19-sided die. Yeah, you try that. Good luck getting Yotsie with your one out of 20 chances now, huh? I don't call that American. I call that communist terrorism right there with that crazy die. That is socialist communism terrorist is

him. Happy. Obama's die. Thanks Obama. Thanks Obama. Hey Obama. Thanks. Thanks for a bomb Obama. Thanks for your crazy Daz. On her thank you. I'd have to swap out my fuzzy Das and my Mazda name, huh? She's going to send out cards after the wedding. Thanks for buying gifts from my daughter who got married to his am.

Thanks, Obama. When I told my daughter to roll the dies on love, I did not mean a 20-sided die. So now we have a cut scene. We're going to be sorry. I'm just imagining her storming into a toy store and like pulling the 20 set of tights off the shelves and throwing them to the ground. This is America. So next we have a cut scene is Ashley at the Botox place.

And I love that she even has defensive. She's she's so defensive about every little thing. She's exactly. Well, here I am at glow, which is where they do Botox and yes, I get Botox and my boobs done. And furthermore, all other women's Savannah do it too. And if they don't admit it, it's because they're Christian and Christianity is very just mental about Botox and boobs. So there. Yes, everything gets

to a real deep place with her like It's like I would not like broccoli and guess what I'm not the only one who does not like broccoli Okay, but I'm honest about it okay, and they're not honest But that's because they are too much in the church all right. I'm sorry I'm sorry, but I have go the woman in here. I don't like broccoli. I'm open about it They are I said it so she's going to her friend court me Yeah, they are I said it so her she's going to her friend court me She she actually talks like a Botox needle Hey, I actually hi I actually just my voice box looks looks thinner and younger. I just have a ball box

I love how ashes complaining about how people are fake and then she goes and finds a confident. It talks like this. Hi, you look great today. I'm like, yeah, that just like reeks of authenticity there. So next we are with we're intercutting between Brandon, the the the gay and Catherine. Setting up for dinner party. Catherine's like, I know how to set up the dinner party

because my family's been doing it for 200 years. So I learned a few things. And Catherine goes, the tradition of dinner parties in my family hasn't changed from 100 years ago. Well, now you have to pay people. Oh, God, I just say, I think maybe one thing has changed. I'm like, I always get uncomfortable when they brag about things that they did a hundred or two hundred years ago on these shows.

I'm like, ooooh, okay. Hello. It's like we're either going to pretend that didn't happen or we're going to get on your ass about it. So make up your mind, people. Yeah. So, we also learned that Hurricane Matthew is on route during all this but the but the dinner party must go on And this is so southern. Oh by the way whoever came on there and said Ronnie Texas is not the South

Excuse you. Hey, I know that because Texas is proud of not being a typical South, but let's face it. Yes, it is It's the same. It's literally the South South, but let's face it, yes it is. It's the same. It's literally the South. It is different. Yeah, Texas is different. But when I say in the South, there are different shades of Texas as well. I'm from Opasso, which is, you know, mostly Hispanic. That's mexus. That's totally different than Austin, which is totally different from West Texas. And trust me, you get a lot of South and parts of Texas. So when I say in the South, I know what I mean. Y'all, we all have different brands, but had there you criticize El Paso Texas.

I have there you go. Yeah, people don't come for Ronnie about Texas in the South. Okay, it's a losing battle. Yeah. Okay, thank you. I feel so much better. No, I'm literally not mad. I just have to acknowledge that I know it's not really the South.

And while we're talking about things a few weeks ago on one of the episodes, I guess we miss represented what the phrase, what's good for the goose, is good for the gander means, and we understand that, and we apologize for all those goose and gander purists. So we know, we will be fowlable. What did we say? I? Think we I think it's Doesn't I think it's good for the man is also good for the woman? I think it's I think it really is so that's what that's what that's what you would said But I think it really and I was like yeah, but I think actually what it really is is that like what's good for one is good for everyone I can look at

Oh, yeah, it's good like that's not what good good news What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Also, it's good for the goose. That apply. Yeah, that applies for the situation. Because it's good for us. It's going to be good for the audience to learn all this. Yeah, while we Google, isn't that fun while you listen

to a podcast for Googling things? You're good for the goose is good for the gander. Goose and gander. What is good for a woman is equally good for a man thank you very much so they were fighting they were fighting about something else I've been gandered up in goose and gandered dude I think it was on the ganderman okay I think it was on the telemic was good for the goose is good for the gander yeah I'm not right very often so when I'm right I will google that shit but I know it's only like once a year. So yeah, I'll roll around at that.

Okay. So the hurricane's coming and this is how it's going to say. This is how we are in the South. No matter how southern you are, everybody's like this because Ashley goes, um, you know, no, Courtney's like, every time they see stuff like that, like you got to evacuate, I just think they're cried wolf. And Ashley, you learned to cry wolf before you learned to evacuate. I just think they're crying wolf. And absolutely. Listen, you learned to cry wolf before you learned to walk in the south. And as she goes, oh yeah, in the south, we just sit on the porch and wait to meet Jesus.

Or something along the line. I resent. No, she, yeah, she's like, yeah, well, it's funny because she's actually kind of funny because she will occasionally get really fulxing in southern. She's like, oh yeah, when her income, we just get on the porch and we light up and we get some cocktails and we just watch that. Wait, for a good old fashioned thunderstorm from Jesus. Am I right, everyone?

So they're... Take me, I dare you. I've got plenty of you. She's sitting up on my, on my stairwell that I can take together as a boat. No time. Okay. No. Well, you know what?

I'm sick of Hurricane Matthew talking about me behind my back. Stop trying to be so fake. Stop coming over here trying to hug Savannah and then you're trying to blow us away. That's not cool. So Catherine's telling Brandon, she's like, well, I'm glad we're having this party

because I'm sick of Ashley telling Daniel that we ostracized her. And this should be Carthaw cathartic and Branding goes well I am in therapy I was like okay thanks Brandon she goes well Brandon things he says she's like okay well then maybe we can go to your therapist and then I'll go to Ashley's boo-blady yeah by the oh go by the way I have an important goose and gander update. I just want to say that there's a broader definition for it that what's good for one type is equally good for another type. So it doesn't have to be man and woman. It can be just like two things.

Yes, but still the point when they said what's good for the goose is good for the gander is they're saying what's good for you is good for me, which is not the same. It's literally saying a different type of something. Stop trying to win the goose and gander fight. So I'm trying to make it inclusive. I'm trying to make it inclusive to all of us. What's good for your goose and gander thing is good for my goose and gander thing. It is a meta goose and gander situation, okay? What's good for you? You're the goose in the situation. I am the gander and your goose is saying the goose and gander definition is that and my gander saying the definition is this and what's good for your definition is good for my definition.

We're all a goose and a gander. Oh, hey, in the South, not everybody gets a god damn trophy. Okay. It's a participation trophy only for ganders. How do you feel about that? And goose. Thanks for this part participation trophy, Gander Obama. Hey, who killed the Gander in a jet?

Maverick. What's bad for the goose is bad for the Gander too. You know what I'm saying? That's almost like, we gone fucking crazy. Okay. It's the last show of the week. It's 100% my fault because you were on your Just doing a perfectly nice job telling us what was happening. I was like wait a second. We have to circle back for the fifth time to go

Singander Okay, so Courtney cut back to glow and Courtney Ashley what's making you old? Tell me what's giving you wrinkles like what's tell you what's giving you wrinkles. She's like, I can't stand these people. And then we cut back to Brandon. He's like, y'all don't know shit about each other girl. And Catherine's like, well, I was raised not to talk about emotions and to portray problems. And you're just not supposed to pretend you have issues. And he goes, well, everyone in this tan has issues. She's like, I know my heart has turned as black as my couches. So Ashley, Ashley, the queen of don't like, don't pretend to be nice and then talk shit behind my back.

So I guess what she does, she then goes and gossips with Courtney about Catherine. And she does, She does the housewives thing where she's like, I'm not saying it, the hair lady is saying it. And she's going to do it in a really mean way. It's like so Theresa, due to say, or nice. So, except the Ashley can't help herself. So she jumps right into it too, which is so funny. So Courtney's like, well, these Dutchy people are also having some behavior that's out of the box. Now, we don't know the Catherine.

It's being the best girlfriend to LOW. Because she hasn't always been an agumist LOW. And actually, yeah, because Courtney, the Botox girl, her brother's best friend is Lyle. So she's heard of all this stuff about LOW. Yeah, so Ashley's like, oh my god. Instead of Ashley, we'd say like,

you know what, I actually really like Catherine Catherine so we probably shouldn't talk about her She's like Two guys three guys were any of them golas have in them being sleeping in my attic Tell me the truth because I will charge her rent She almost killed my child is their baggage over 25 pounds because there is a fee for that Not that I miss the not on southwest though, But you know, that's why I work for Delta. That $25 fees flown me around the world. So so then we go to commercial and we come back. There's this weird thing where we hear an AP White House correspondent announcing that Hurricane Matthew is coming through, which is cool, except there's no,

like, it doesn't really play into this episode, except I think to be a foreshadow of the dinner party. It's not like the dinner party was happening and like the windows were clacking and you know, shit was breaking. Either way, it's sort of set the tone and the party starts, the big dinner party starts. And I don't know why I wrote this,

but I wrote that happy Anderson goes, this is amazing and I want whatever this is. I don't know why I wrote that. Because Catherine, I think, is wearing a fur coat. I think that's what it was. I'll just mention that Ashley goes, I can count my man on one hand, okay? And she's the running round Hesse and then Brandon goes,

well the truth will say it's you free! Jesus said that. It's so funny. Okay, so they're all arriving and Catherine's like, the thing about dinner parties, it's great, it's a great house and great atmosphere, but really it's about the alcohol. Let's be honest. She's like, how fun is that? I consider myself the onigotin of Savannah. I'm like, isn't that Pauladine? He's like, I work with her.

Because Brandon, as people pointed out, was on Pauladine show. He was her assistant. He was. Yeah, we didn't realize that. Because I'm more of an onigartin person. And I had a new episode this weekend. So like, really, I'm writing high on that. I just just like watching Paula Dean to see what things she can add mayonnaise to because this literally everything

She'll be like this is an ice cream Sunday, but with mayonnaise Is a California roll, but with mayonnaise call back Ronnie. So Everyone showing up loud shaved, which is nice He's like I was thinking about doing an upscrewed photo, but instead I said, I just shave instead. And then Hannah tells us where I grew up, I didn't grow up in Savannah. I grew up outside Atlanta. And I'm no stranger to a fancy party, but there's a different area about it here. At my Christmas party, growing up, mom had Santa passing around condoms, but here people would whisper that's let's pass in the rank condoms.

Yeah, and you would be the one whispering it and happy would be like, I know, I hate condoms. By the way, news flash, I think any party where a Santa was passing on condoms, people would be whispering about it. It's not a Savannah thing. I know it's like did sandwiches. Tid on me. What is Santa trying to wear my keys? Where are my Santa made of chocolate?

Should we send them to Avery? So, so they're all sitting there and then Ashley's showing up and she's wearing like a little fur thing and the guys are being such bitches. The guys like Louis and Lyle are the biggest bitches on this show. I'm sorry, because when Ashley arrives,

you know, first of all, happy gives such a nasty look. Like, and then Louis is like, it's not that cold outside. Well, and fashion for Daniel because he's like, shut the fuck up. Cast him, just walks in wearing a fur to, you know, yeah, yeah, exactly. And also, it's nice. I mean, Ashley's fashion is, you know, kind of all over the place. Like she looked really good. And I loved her over a thing. And I like that also when she walks up, she gets like the big business drums. It's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, how well do you know her? And he's like, I think

very well, very, very well. I know her inside nap. Do you know what she likes? Lime Slushies me too. That's called a Dayton heaven. So then while you know, while is so clever, he's gonna get to the bottom of this baggage room. So he's like so Ashley I don't think you ever told me what you actually do. So what do you do with your life? He's like my amostylist. Oh you start your style clothing or Accessories or something that holds clothing. Do you ever hold something that holds clothing? I'm not sure what you're talking about Do you have a lot of emotional baggage and it's the emotional stuff?

You know what I'm saying? She's like, hey. Do you need to wear yellow gloves to unload the baggage of high end consultant of your Delta style and company? It's like, wait a minute. So then they all gather for salad, which has strawberries in it, which I hate when there's strawberries and salads side note. If I ever get invited,

Catherine, no strawberries, please. So now they're cornering Nelson. And now they're like, so Nelson, what do you do with your time? Like what does Nelson do? Take us inside the world of Nelson. And he's like, well, mainly I like play the market in an invest, you know, I call it newsvesting.

It's my new business where we look at news and we look at invest and we think about it. How do I impact each other? We're gonna have a news news thing. It's called the newsvesting. at news and we look at investing. We think about how do we impact each other? We're gonna have a news news thing. It's called the news vesting. And then we're gonna go to the museum and Washington, they say we're gonna talk about news vests. That's a great idea.

Then at last time I come, my mother's hair, tell her I love hair and listen to her advice for the day. And then it's back to the news. News vesting. And last like, he didn't work. He told me a story at one time how he worked at Rolling Stone, which I believed. It's like, well, who's the dunce here alive? He didn't work. He told me a story at one time how he worked a rolling stone, which I believed.

It's like, well, who's the dunce here alive? Yeah, I mean, come on now. I kind of love the fact that Nelson just tells people a bunch of bullshit. I think it's one of the funniest character traits we've ever seen. I know. What do you do during the day?

Well, when I'm not telling my rack to better hold their missiles in or trying to come through and blow them up because I'm Secretary of State, I'm brushing my mama's hair. I'd like to stay in chat, but I got to go in and you marry Shaping Carpenter for long down. Sorry, bye. I just finished redirect. I just finished directing the revival of the color purple on Broadway. Oh my God. Fantasia. If that girl gives me one more piece of lip. Yeah. so then I love it. Happy for some reason. She really hates Nelson.

She's hated him since the first episode. She's like, why would anyone believe you? Like why would people trust you Nelson? Like, why? And he's like, well, you know, like, I mean, who cares what a stupid little blogger says now? Me, it doesn't really, it doesn't really impute my reputation. Yeah, it doesn't at all define me.

That's why I can't, you know, that's, uh, what, what, what did I write? I wrote, that's why I can't speak about it with such deafness. I don't know what that means. I think that's what I can speak about with such deafness because I know what it's like to have a blogger write things about me.

And so I know, I know what's true and what's not true. It's just a blogger slash, you know time magazine slash Washington post slash New York time slash LA times slash, you know, dish nation slash entertainment's not during the Mary Hart days. That's all. When I'm not styling vanna white and teaching her how to turn around those numbers with more deafness. I'm running the country or Breedon Horace is or coming my mother's hair any more questions and happy because Nelson likes to use big words to try and confuse you. So you forget what you asked in the first place. So then Louis, Louis who like cannot deal with Ashley's stupid, no, little first first thing. He's like, but with Nelson, he's like, listen,

I think it's great. That Nelson is rich and wants to be friends with us and therefore is speaking openly about how he loves his family. I think it's great and happy. He's like, but he's still hasn't a dress like this whole issue and he was like, he's getting there and he said, I like happy.

He goes, how long does it take to get there? And I was like, goes how long does it take to get that? I was like kind of on her side Well, that's the thing she's like the bitch, but you always kind of agree with her Yeah, and then Daniel starts lecturing Nelson for it. He's like he's like listen Nelson, I want to I want to say something you and I was like well okay, well I got to be like no I'm gonna talk now You need to know that when you don't address something, it's just gonna get bigger and bigger and people's minds. And then Nelson's like, well, what I did was stupid. It was just stupid.

Then Dan was like, you know what? Nelson, I want to give you a hug. That was great. But Nelson's like, well, think about that blogger. And on journal was talked about, yes, it happened that blogger and undrown all this talked about. Yes, it happened. It's true. I'm out off to a cop. Guilty.

OK. I said I was earnest, him being like, so sue me. So what? So what if I'm not an old man in the sea? What if I'm a young man in the sea? Is that so wrong? It's called being valuable. OK.

And Daniel's like, hug me. I love fallibility. He's And Daniel's like, hug me. I love fallibility. He's like, fallible, fallible. I'm fallible. There. I said it. I said, but brand.

Oh, brand name. He's like, okay. I got some questions. Were you the prime minister of the Bahamas? And he's like, I did not say the House of Prime Minister of the Bahamas. That is not true, sir. I was the minister of finance and deputized librarianism of the Bahamas. Okay, it's on Google. And I loved, I loved it with Nelson. I guess he called himself something like the planet

potential era whenever of the Bahamas. And now I guess, uh, say it again. Say it again. But do more talk about it. Do more Nelson. I I mean say it again. Say it. I love your Lyle because that is so true. You don't cry. Say it again. Can you say it? Nails say that word again. Put him to entry. Yeah. That one. You're gonna look at that bomb. Google and branding us. Oh, Google. Huh? You blowing up Google. Google girl. It's the Nelson starts saying. Oh, Google, huh? You blowing up Google Google girl. The Nelson started saying, yeah, I was sent off to Liars camp after that. What? What is that? Liars camp sounds inherently like a sort of thing that needs to be addressed in Liars camp. Well, I want to Liars camp if you will. And what was so funny is I was there

because I said I was a member of Congress. And I was there with the guy who was actually a member of Congress. Do you believe me? I don't even care because I don't even know if it's true because I'm a liar. I learned that in camp. Uh-huh. People. Hey, you never tell you that. Think about how we all call Lady Achaoblie a sham, you know, because she and Cam, it's a, it's a plan word. It's very, it's hilarious. This year's time in the comedy camp, honestly, but I went to Lierves camp. It's also something that can keep your door open at night and the wind storm. Listen, anyone with a brain can see that there's

just a bunch of fraternal pranks and then happy goes, oh well maybe I don't have a brain. Because, oh yeah, because people look at that and look at that in the media and they make it that I bumped someone off. But all it is, I mean this is America. It's a Republic. Okay. It's Republic called America and their perranks Well, maybe I'm not smart Then Ashley stands up and she's like that's it. I stop this right now. I know things about everyone at this table And if you want to talk about things, let's just put it on the table right now Yeah, because Ashley is, she, she wants, she, she starts this screed under the pretense of defending Nelson, although Nelson is a grown man,

and he can defend himself and he's done some things that are shady. So she doesn't really need to defend him. But so she, she starts off that way. And then, but it's really just an excuse that way she can say, listen, if you want to talk to, I know shit about everyone, and I have something I'm gonna say, and I'm gonna say it about you, Catherine, because I'm sick of people being nice to my face,

but then talking shit behind me, just like you, Catherine, and Catherine's like, yeah, you know you're right, I'm sorry about that. Actually, like you, Catherine, yeah, you're right. How do I say this in a way that makes Catherine mad? Catherine, you were a bitch and you said things behind my back. I absolutely did. You're absolutely right And I would like to apologize and get to know you better. It's just oh really Catherine Like she's so mad and then Brandon goes, well, I want to be skin

And Catherine's like, uh, well, who are you? Oh, actually, if you guys have a problem, then we are, I understand, Nelson, because I'm an outsider just like Nesson. And if you people have a problem with it, then why not just sit down and talk about it and happy goes, uh, we are sitting here and talking about it. Yeah. Okay. Now, if you want to talk your truth, I mean, look, I'm getting kind of offended. And she goes, and Catherine goes, well, who are you attacking? I don't even understand. And she goes, you. So good. And she goes,

I don't know why you're rolling your eyes, Hannah. And Hannah's like, I had a conversation with you. And like, you pretend I didn't. And you want me to go to your pat. Well, I mean, I did not know you're acting like I didn't. And I was just like, Oh,'t and you want me to go to your path? Well, I mean, I did not do your acting like I didn't and Ash is like, oh really? You want me to go to your past? Watch it. She's and Hannah's like shut the fuck up. I like to them in the middle of it. Law is like, this is like a really biotost. Yeah, but like by the way, Hannah was right though because Ash is like, you know what? People talk about people's backs. No one says anything to their face and the fact that Hannah was like, you know, Hannah was right, though, because Ash is like, you know what? People talk about people's backs, no one says anything

to their face. And the fact that Hannah was like, you know, Hannah was right when she said, yeah, I actually did police side privately and tell you calmly and you freaked out. And then Hannah and then Ash is like, yeah, but you wouldn't let it go. It's like, no, you're the one who wouldn't let, you're the, well, not that let it let go,

but you're the one who stormed out. Hannah was not, the reason why Hannah didn't quote, unquote, let it go is because you stormed out and you were so over the top of your reaction. You know, so she was like, can you believe this bitch? She like, yeah, she goes, I don't, she goes, I'm not even from this town. And I'm not a judgmental person. She gets what I don't agree. And then Catherine goes, I've, you're right. I've been judging you by what people say, left and right. And that's And that's true and she goes well no one asked me and she goes well, but you never said you worked for Delta Like actually started looking around the room like oh shit and then she is well, I you know, I well Delta

You know don't ever leave the airport. Ha ha ha the favorite joke about that You know, I do work kind of there because I work five hours twice a week there. So I can travel the world and I don't have my daddy's minute to travel the world. So what you want the policy for me, right? And then I was like, oh my God, she really is a bag of Chandler.

This is crazy. In my mind, I was actually defending her against this ridiculous rumor and it's actually true. I can't believe it. And then at that, it's like, this is the thing that comes out. It's like a really shitty first draft of an Etudeau be play. I also want to go ahead, sorry.

I just want to say before the baggage thing was that when Hannah and Ashi were still fighting, Hannah's flipping out and Ashi saying, what the fuck? I'm not from here. Like you're saying all this stuff. And I love how Ashi keeps on doing, well, how do you think I feel? How do you think I feel?

Which is, drives me nuts when people do that. Because you're literally standing up and screaming about how you feel. We know how you feel. And it's also one of those deflections. It's like, listen to what you're saying, rather than try to say, how do I feel? If you feel like you feel the same way, listen to her,

and then show how it also impacts you and you can find a common ground. But instead, she's like, how do you think I I feel and then Hannah says, you know, I'm not a judgmental person in the next she's like, well, I just grew with that actually. It's like oh gosh, you know, she's You know like she's like, yes, I'm a bag of chandelier I don't have my daddy's money and Lyell goes, then she's say that is friends and she goes, fuck you Lyell that is friends and she goes fuck you, Lyle. Don't say fuck you. You've never told anyone you work for Delta. Well, no one's asked me and it's ghost that I owe you an explanation. She's kind of right. He asked me to come and he doesn't have my back. I feel like I'm being fed to the lions. And Lyle was like, well, I was baiting you actually. She was like, what is so weak?

Stupid laugh. Well, I was saying it like the inspector Poirot dropping the truth bomb on whom murdered someone on the only express. Well, guess what, Ashley, you fell rotten to my trap because I was baiting you and you fell into it because you didn't say what you did.

And she's right. Why does she have to say it? It's like when people ask me, what do I do for a living, depending on who it is, I might say I'm a writer. I might say I'm a podcaster. The reason that they're saying she's being so fake. Look, I don't think there's any shame in having a real job. And I don't blame her for not saying, but the reason they're getting on her is because she's like, I had everything. I mean, I was into buy. I was in the Hollywood Hills. I gave up everything, my mansion, my Range Rover. Like she's just being a faker

because she's really traveling because she's a bag of traveler and she's acting like she's styling, you know, Lady Gaga in Egypt. It's like, I look it up. So Louis goes, well, who cares if she has a desk job and my uncle goes, no one, that's the point. I sell 10 and salon products.

Yeah. It's just that you pretend to fly around the world on your own dime and that's not true. And Catherine's like, shut up. No one cares about Delta. So then Catherine, meanwhile, the voice of reason in all of this is Catherine because she's actually trying to build a bridge

out there enough. She's truly trying to apologize. She's like, you apologize. She's like, you know, she's like, I feel bad. I mean, I got small hands, small arms. So I'm already in the vanage and I did hear these things and I did judge. And now I see a father and I feel bad. And so I am trying to apologize. And I was just like, fine. Well, guess what? Why are you cheating? It's like, we can actually just do apologize to you. I've heard this. Katherine's been cheating on you, Lyle. And Katherine just raises her arms in the hair and covers her head.

Like I give up with this crazy bag of handling bitch. And his arm was L.O. L.A. in the corner. He's like, he, he, he, he. And so Katherine goes, now look, if you sit here and attack me, I'm going to freak the fuck out. And Lyle's like, you got a bad reputation, is a lie. Her hair is this.

You got a pretty Johnson bad reputation girl. And I said, it's like, well, I was getting Botox, and yes, I get Botox, tree's period, and Courtney told me. And so Brandon weighs in, so Brynn's like, fan, I heard things. I want to weigh in now. All right, question. Do you have an open marriage in guys on the side? And I should like, uh, no, are you talking about to slave to my

attic? Because I had to go away to take them away. Okay, I acknowledge it. She's like, no, I acknowledge it. She's like, no, I mean my marriage is disaster, but no per se. I mean, was they were fire and she's like, what the fuck? Yeah, because I was told they were fire or was they're not a fire? Like actual flames and actually people are said shit.

That is my kid. That is my kid. Please go down the kid. My favorite part was then it just because to happy going I come to dinner party and I think I'm gonna freaking eat Okay, lady who started everything Damn, it's like can I have the floor and then Nelson's like you don't oh he goes now Yeah, he's like, behind, inwards, shikidikdag, good and talk, or whatever. I think it's like, now Nelson, you've done things to me

that have made me very uncomfortable. Do you realize that you said things in Yiddish? I mean, you said the word for inward multiple times. And you'll allow, go, that's right, Seas. Nelson, that's right. So I mean, come on now. Wow. We don't want to see what's inside your DMs.

This show. So this was really good. What episode was this? Let me see on my notes. I closed up episode of Southern charm. Yeah. This was number four, right? Four.

Or I think, yeah. So I think we're halfway through. Five last. Yeah. Oh, so that was good. That was good. It was like, what's neat. That was great. This show needed a big messy dinner party where everyone was mad at each other for stupid ass shit, stupid stupid shit. Um, this is, you know, the seeds of real shit are grown from, or the flowers of real shit are grown from the seeds of stupid shit because all this stupid shit now they'll present each other forever and then the fights will be more real.

Isn't it funny how that works? It really is. So good jobs of Anacast. You are doing the right thing. Have more arguments about baggage handling and fake fires and should like that around, you know, during a hurricane. We like it. We like that a lot. So fun. so we will be back next week with a but first

ronnie is that the front of again yeah this is what i said last week i'm always like i got to say it before we wraps up you always forget the mailbag The mailbag. It's the crap and the mailbag. This is For our patreon supporters People who support us at that crap and the mailbag level or above get to write in questions comments And we read them here on the air. So we have a whole bunch of new questions for us

Why don't we start randomly with Bob Hulaam who says, Hey, Ronnie and Ben, I was wondering what you thought would happen if Patricia had to read all the other Bravo shows hugs, Bob age. If so, I guess he's saying it to read. So, I guess if she had to like, talk about them and stuff, like talk shit about. Oh, she had to read them read. Read. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. Should we just pick just a few random characters? Yeah. And while we do Southern Trump's advantages, we've been talking about it. And she probably has opinions about the other members of her franchise. Okay. Let's see. Other shows. If she was uh, Doreet, she'd probably be like, well, one minute does cocaine in a bathroom and ask so many mains in her own plane,

probably doesn't know where to put a dot-goat in a window storm. I'm not sure if I'm totally on board with Derinda Maddily's way of treating guests, rather than leaving with a TV to watch some old lawn-out episodes, I'd go down to the local Black Buster Vigia and rent the latest Steve Martin movie. I've tried to think of some random people. My brain has been slammed against the sidewalk, I feel like today. I'm not sure how I feel about a lady who handles baggage for Delta, it seems like the work of something that Catholic Dennis would be up to,

but you know what I heard, I should probably want some Amazon Prime Boxes to hold in her hands. I don't think a real lady holds bags. I think a real lady does things like not ridden the goes from the third floor, that's partden the ghosts from the third floor. That's part of the legacy of the third floor of a house. I'm not sure how I feel about Ashley. Well, I don't know that I'd say anything rude about Nelson.

I mean, he's nice to his mother, and even if he's just lying about being a congressperson, it's not like those people don't lie all day about doing something with their lives. I have some concerns about happy and that vicious crab on her dog. I think she should have spent less time talking back to her mother more time trying to help her little puppet dog from getting pinched, but that mean old Sebastian over there. Bethany talks about being a skinny girl. Meanwhile, she's having babies with no daddies lined up and so... I don't know if I'd ever eaten that restaurant Oz. First of all, I don't see any pop of flowers or any of the yellow brick roads that I'd expect and I'm not sure EMU is the next trend in food. I think what she needs to focus on is this cool thing

that I learned about called Kura, what you do is you put some rice on a plate and the Kura on top of it. And then some acute tromones comes from some part of Asia where the man are extra dark and they have bare fragrant foods. I like it a lot. Yeah, Patricia's a little difficult for me right now

because I hate her guts right now. I got through different phases of loving her and hating her, but her elephant's lives matter still works me. It works me too, but I still love her. It's actually very offensive. The elephant's live matter thing, but I love me some Patricia as a character.

She's getting my nerves. It really bugs me that she's so anti-Cathrin because as much of a mess as Catherine is, she was 21 and her fucking disgusting old man with his glued on hair and his glued on eyebrows, fucking trying to ruin that girl to get her on a reality show, then putting her with Thomas who everybody knows is a drug addict and drug dealer, and she's coming down on the side of Thomas and her son. She's just disgusting. Like, I'm starting to find her less funny.

There are no. When you're an old person, you're allowed to be snooty about the youngins. So I'm okay with that. Hava Weber, she actually has a question that's perfect for us. She says, I'm not sure if you guys have ever done this and I'm forgetting, but which bravo liberties would you cast in remakes of Soak dish and bullets over Broadway? Let's let's just do bullets over Broadway. Okay.

I think who would be all of would be um Carol At least the voice is similar Where am we just doing a voice the other day that sounded like I was like that sounds like olive I don't even remember what show is on on Wednesday. Well, I think that her actual character though, all of's character would be more Erica Jane, but it would be like Erica Jane. If Erica Jane was cast to play a psychiatrist on days of our lives, I mean more lines. I feel like it was it was probably Ashley from a tonic who were doing that was as like I was like all of and she sort of is like Olive. Yeah. Time, time, time, time. I think Eileen is probably, um, Helen Sinclair.

Yes. Yeah. I mean, what am I? Some van, old Broadway legend. Don't speak. Don't speak. So you like the play? I mean, I didn't really care for the dialogue

or the characters, but the stage directions and the binder best I've ever seen. The mob guy who kills people obviously would be Jo- Jo- Jo- Jo- Dice. So what? Who cares? Jo- Jo- Jo- Dice. And Dereet is clearly the trace-y-oh-man character. Oh, I just came in and it was just like, oh, it was- it was my dog. What's Mr. Wiskens? Where is he now? Oh, and soap dish. I think it would be Vicki Gumbelsen as the Sally Field role. Like, what are you doing?

What are you doing? Like, where's my turban? Like, seriously? There reminds me, I think, I think Brianna was in my dream last night. I had a dream that I was playing slots at a casino and the rock came over and went, bloop to my nose.

And then I got hit the jackpot and Brianna was right there. And I like shared the earnings with her. It was so weird. It was what happened in your sick. You have really weird dreams. Yeah, please stop sharing your winnings with Brianna. What the hell? I would be so mad at you.

I feel like I nurse Nann has got to be there's got to be a good nurse man. I almost feel like Vicki Gumbelsen is nurse Nannish. But she is no nurse Nann is that I mean certain Vicki Gumbelsen is definitely Sally feel it's character. Nurse Nann might just be like Heather DeBro. I don't know. Yeah, she would be, but Heather's like more under the radar evil. Well, there's also a chance that Shannon Badoor could be Nurse Nan only because Nurse Nan actually goes, David, David! Multiple times in the

in the movie. Yes, and David would be David Badoor. David would be David Badoor. We could just keep that one. Yeah, it's basically so dishes orange county. That's that's what it is. Yeah. Tony is like, uh, Tony is essentially what's it? What's is is Lizzy and, uh, Megan King Edmonds is, it's probably what's her face?

Just is. Dr Monica Delmonico. No, I think it would be, oh yeah, because she's the one who brings all the evidence, right? Yeah. Justus. We'll be Goldberg with NB. Probably Kelly Dodd.

Kelly Dodd would be the one who would be like, what, the Dalai Lama, what's Fernand Lama? I can see Kelly Dodd saying something like that. What else is in that mailbag being? That's it for now. We'll get back to it next week. Oh. Close out the week, Ronnie. Close it out.

You guys, it is time to go. Thank you so much for listening all this week. We love you guys. We've got a bunch of new stuff up on patreon the ringers went up this week um something else just went up there anyway thank you to everybody who supports us the bonus will be up a little late this week but it should be a fun one we're gonna talk about mommy dead dearest the HBO documentary so go check that out and have a great weekend. We'll talk to you next week. Bye everyone.

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