Watch What Crappens - #471 RHOP & Cabo: Host Traumatic Stress Disorder

Episode Date: June 6, 2017

Karen Huger and Charrisse Jackson Jordan are battling it out to be the official host of the Potomac season 2 vacation, and the stakes couldn't be any lower. Who will get the crown? And will it come from Burger King? So many questions that we must tackle. Then it's on to Invite Only: Cabo where Larry must ask the ultimate question - will Bianca be able to tell the difference between a friendship promise ring and a wedding ring? (spoiler: no) Come listen! 00:00:00 - Real Housewives of Potomac 01:01:35 - Invite Only: Cabo See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode of Watcher Crap is brought to you by our Patreon super premium sponsors

Christy D'Aurite, Mia Hansen-Aloha, Madonna Heinz, Cindy Gersten, Kelly Barlow, and Jess Sayin. Thank you What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens? What happens? I have crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, happens for this so much that happens. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends. The podcast about all that crap on bravo we love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the banter blender. Enjoying me as always is the hilarious and wonderful Ronnie Caram from CrashTalkTV.com and Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast. Hey, what's up Ronnie?

Well, hello, man. How are you doing today? I'm doing great on this fine Monday. Good G Suite Jesus. Well, we said we needed rest. Did you get rest? You know, I got rest, but I am like very sluggish today. Because I stayed up late because I had to watch shows for the podcast and then I woke up early

to watch the rest of the shows and it was like a carefully timed amount of like time. Meaning like I had, like by the time I woke up, I had like no minute to spare to watch the shows and take notes and get my coffee and get here for the podcast and sure enough, someone threw a wrench into it and long story short, I have not had my coffee and I am surly as hell. Surly AF this morning. Surly AF this morning. Surly AF.

Yeah. I did sleep. I slept with the dominoes and watched a Netflix show on my phone in my bed. Okay. I've never done really on my phone. Usually I whip out the iPad, but the iPhone, I have one of those like sticky things on the back

that I could just hold it with my finger. Yeah. Wow, what a day. It was amazing. I can't believe I've never done that. Well, there's so much on right now and I tried watching Bloodline, but I forgot how slow that show is. And I was like, I do not have time for this slowness.

So I watched a show called the 3%, which is an import, but instead of putting subtitles on it, they just redub it. So it's kind of like watching one of those, like Japanese redub videos, where the mouths are moving totally different than what's being said. And then all the actors who are doing it

are trying to give the drama, but they're trying to time it in the right way, which is like its own kind of comedy. But it's really good, it's like a hunger game. It's like a low-budge hunger game. Oh, okay All right, well, I'm glad you got that in. I'm sure did and then I party for the rest of the weekend So I did the same thing. I watched these shows the drizzle in the middle of the night and had so much fun

So I don't know how the notes are gonna sound. Oh, yeah, you're warning. I don't know today. Yeah, I don't know what's gonna happen I I feel like I am about to pass out onto my microphone right now okay let's just and we're gonna push through we're gonna push through who needs caffeine we have we have God's caffeine which is Bravo TV yeah I'm actually in a great mood I like the amount of sleep and parting you know my body knows how much it needs and it seems to have gotten enough of both so I'm ready for you you Monday. I'm ready. Yes, let's take it on. Let's take it on. I don't even remember what I did this weekend. Oh, I, guys, this is, it's all coming back to me and it's just woke me up. It's like I can't believe I forgot this yesterday.

I went to a show and Angela Bass is sat directly in front of me. Oh my God, I would have been so nervous. It was like transcendent. I wonder if she feels the energy because her back is so strong. I feel like she can feel like any kind of energy around her. So if you're loving her really hard,

I feel like she's probably feeling that right in the center for shoulder blades and trying not to turn around on purpose, you know. She is perfection. I love her. So yes, now I'm like wide-eyed with like memories of brushes with with greatness over the weekend. If only you could have told her, hey, I'm about to go take notes on real housewives of Patelme. told her, Hey, I'm about to go take notes on real housewives of Potomac. Yeah. And I really gotten her respect while you were there. If only if only I could have done such a thing. So today is real housewives of Potomac and invite only Cabo.

We're going to do a full Potomac recap and just talk basics about invite only because let's face it. It's the same scene in the living room and then on a beach and then in a restaurant and in the living room. And then like at a random shop in town. And then maybe a hospital waiting room if you're lucky. Then a little disjorn as in the kitchen. Emily gets ready to fuck somebody eats off the finger. And everyone, and somehow they always make a magnificent cake. Like, it's quietly. This cast is like a cast of amazing cooks.

Last week, they made amazing fried, not fried chicken, it was barbecue chicken. Two weeks before, Rihanna made like a chocolate marshmallow cake, like reluctantly and resentfully. She's like, here's the fucking cake It's this beautiful chocolate cake this week Malaku. Please be just saying afraid of a box cake Yeah, but they make it look nice. I mean that last night's didn't they even laughed at it

They were last night's like nice is better than my fight cake fight. Yeah so Yeah, there's excitement so everyone stay tuned because we're going to do a deep dive on that cake and so much more brace yourself. Oh, too early for a cake five a. Yeah. But first we'll start with Potomac because why? Obviously. Why not?

On the real housewives of chain restaurants. Yeah. The real housewives of Potomac went to top golf. Yeah. I just want to see what chain Ross restaurant They're going to next if these bitches make it to a Chuck E. Cheese. They will get a special crap and award at the end of the year I see them going to like boo go to beppo next I am the hostess and as the hostess I have planned a meal at Please put all these plates by me because these are family style plates and as the hostess I have planned a meal at Puketapepin.

Please put all these plates by me because these are family style plates. And I'm the head of this family. I have invited my good friend, C.C. I'm sorry, we're going to C.C.'s pizza bar, that's what we're doing instead. C.C. is Queen second only to me. Karen C.C.'s pizza. I pizza I only asked Ceci to help today you know not everyone can get invited into the golden corral I have to cry all these girls golden crowd it's only called golden when I'm here Karen thank God

golden crowd thank God it's Friday am I I right? No, it's seriously G. J. F. That's our next episode. Next up Thank God it's Karen's birthday Where I always get the center of the booth So this week we open with funky sacks on a Cassio keyboard music. It's like you guys make an effort It's like Milani Monique's kid playing on a Cassio It's like I think it's a lot of money. Monique's kid playing on a Cassie of the show.

It's like, Jeff Brad and Ashley sleeping together or just doing, you know, coke together in the kitchen. What do you think? I think maybe if it's any of the two, I think it's the

ladder. Because he seems very nervous at all times. She's like, hi, got the comment cards. I need a libation. He's like, yeah, here's a corona. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day. Beautiful day hi, got the comment cards. I need a libation. He's like, yeah, here's a corona. Beautiful day, beautiful day, beautiful day, beautiful day, beautiful day.

I think he's nervous because he conned his way into this job and it just so happens he's on TV. And so now he has to really give it an A plus effort. You know, he just applied off of Craigslist. He's like, yeah, Ms. Chef, meanwhile, he was working at GameStop two days ago. And now all of a sudden, he's like, oh, shit, there are cameras here. And I have to look at like a real chef.

You know, it's like a classic 90s comedy. He finally got his big break when they needed someone who pretended to know how to cook in you. Yeah. I don't know what it is, but I'll take it. And I will work there long enough to get unemployment. He thought I was some type of fish.

He's like, yeah, it's like a shrimp. So they're going through the comment cards and Ashley saying, if I feel like this, I feel their business and marriage. So she's getting raves. They're like, that Caprese salad had a nice texture. She's like, yeah, exactly. It's like, the butter lettuce was the best butter lettuce

I've ever had that had brown tips. Wow, those slices of mozzarella cheese. That balsamic vinegar, that was just some amazing colavita shit, wasn't it? I knew it would be right to Americanize the rest of the menu. Like, that was a crazy salad. So, oh. I think I'm more inclined to side with the chef

who said this is all under seasoned and he used tomatoes that weren't even ripe. Then what like sherees writes on the index card. Oh, I said on Twitter I would address this. So last week when I was going off about Ashley, you know, someone said, you know, just because her husband owns that restaurant doesn't give her him a right to demean her, et cetera, et cetera.

I'm not saying it's right for him to emotionally abuse her or anything. I'm just, I made that comment because she was saying, well, I have a business and those girls don't even do anything. Try getting a business. And I'm like, yeah, but your business was from your husband. So like, let's stop all pretending that we're Bill Gates on this show. So meaning to clarify, because I don't know if you clarified it there, but I think I know your intention. Meaning that, you know, she's acting like she started a

business from the ground up, but like on her own bootstraps, like a ratio algebra kind of, you know, success story. One really is that her husband is a restaurant tour. And he's like, Oh, here when has you owned this restaurant? That's what you're saying. Right, that's what I mean. And that still works. She's working your ass off. I come from a restaurant family.

It's all day at sex. So I give her the credit for working. But when she starts with the other women, like, well, at least I have a business, well, it's not like, you know, you worked your way from the bus boy and are now a restaurant. Isn't it ironic that the woman who loves to brag about having a business can't seem to mind her own business.

That's some deep thoughts for everyone right there. Deep thoughts guys. Yeah. That's already so much. Shasha you could have had that one if you thought of it first. Oh, Shasha has a new saying today and she says it 20 times and I can't wait to get to it. But we'll we'll wait. She's actually by the way, Shasha is like the worst. She is, she is like the worst. You know, last season we hated her. This season, I was like, okay, she's a little bit better. But watching this episode, I'm like, you know what, Shasha, you're just the worst. She is. She makes you feel bad for her because she cries.

And she only talks to her dogs. And I mean, she has a hoverboard. So like, it's sad. So you feel bad for her. But guys, remember Hitler cried himself to sleep sometimes too. What he couldn't sell that artwork. He's like, maybe I should turn to genocide. He's like, God damn, hoverboard.

The juice folks. If only he had Dr. Jeff to help him, we could have saved so many people. Hitler, Hitler, where are you going Hitler? Get back to your car. Hitler, Hitler. Hitler. Hitler.

I think we've had a really big moment here today, Hitler. Now you can spread your wings. Hitler is like, you were nicer to start Jones than to me. And I'm out of here. Okay. So Michael comes in and he's doing the, uh, I'm in trouble. I'll be a good husband kind of a thing where he's pretending to be nice on camera. Yeah. And she goes,

we're going to comment cards and he just looks at possible a fair possible co-cat possible X game stop guy chef. And he's like he just looks at him for a minute and then he goes, can I have a beer please? And he's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, usually we call them libations here. Sorry, sir. As a mic, I was like, say you call, you think the event is a success? And she's like, well, I think so, because the breezy talent was a big hit with everyone. So I think it was a big success after all.

He's like, well, I don't know. I don't know, it just seemed like there wasn't enough time to put it together. Well, he's kind of, his, his, his apology is, I don't wanna it just seemed like there wasn't enough time to put it together. Well, he's kind of, his apology is, I don't want to fight, Neemol. That's not an apology, okay? Because he says, I'm sorry, because I don't ever want to fight, which is just like a blanket I didn't do anything wrong, but we're fighting because you're a crazy woman, so I'm sorry. Yeah.

And she's like, well, you know, I said mean things, but you said you could shut down the restaurant And that's what made me mad because we're supposed to be partners and he said well the point was we're supposed to be a team And you didn't even care what I said Michael. She did carry you said she's been trying to get you to change something for months And you just keep saying no because it's yours. Don't pretend that you're like being equal here Yeah, you can't do like you can't make a unilateral decision and then claim it's because it's a team effort. That's, they literally, it's literally two concepts that are in direct conflict with each other.

You know, you can't just make a rash decision. You're going to shut down the restaurant and you're not going to, like, you're not going to loop in your business partner and then say, I'm shutting it down because the team work. Yeah, and he does things where he tries to make her feel crazy. He's like, well, we'll thought in because you were defensive. It's like, yeah, because you're attacking. That's why she's defensive.

You know what? There's no EMU in team. OK, there's no EMU in team. Well, she says, I need him to respect me even though I'm young. Don't discount me just because I'm young. That's what happens to unsold clothes when they're not sold. And then they go to a discount store.

And those are old clothes. I'm young clothes. You just bought me. It's like respect your new purchase, Michael. Yes. So then we go over to Karen and Giselle who are having lunch at a place called Summerhouse Santa Monica, which maybe I was like, are we going to have a spin-off summer house episode that's also going to be back to our pilot on the Potomac?

Because that's a really strange crossover. They're featuring a margarita machine. And Rosé. So like, would you like to order a taco? Because we've got the taco contract. It's summer house. It's a jill, and frozen drinks. And Ronda.

AR. Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl. So this is where Karen starts her whole, you know, Karen's in a super snotty mood this whole episode. Which is great, which is how I like yeah um and she's saying well I've been so busy looking at houses that I haven't been able to mother these young girls and mentor them through their lives. Good Lord Karen. Yeah exactly so Karen is on a path for reconciliation. I'm not speaking English, is that a word reconciliation? She wants to get everyone else to reconciliation, so she can fight with them clearly.

She wants everyone to say sorry. So basically, yeah, she's bringing together Jacelle and Monique, so they can clear the air, they can get on the same page, and Karen is a neutral party, so she claims that she's going to get them speaking properly to each other. But here's the problem, is that Monique brings Shasha along with help. And Karen Hubert does not appreciate that. Also, Karen makes a very good boy. She's like, well, I love Giselle, but she should watch it because we all like Monique and she could be ostracized very quickly

which is true because they're gonna go to a laycasts. You know what I mean? Like they're gonna go if the rich one says I'm taking one as a key trap, they're gonna go. So Jacelle's like basically blocking herself from shooting. Yeah. And Karen's like, and we'll let her. You know, so Monique comes in and she she's like let's talk about the important thing. Well, and a refillable breadsticks And I like that when Karen see Shree's Karen just goes I didn't invite you Just blatantly is like no, you're not supposed to be here and then Karen goes Monique and Jazzal need a fair or an impartial person here and that person is moi.

I'm like, we've never been fair and impartial by the way. No, not even close to it. And that's why it's so fun. So Jacelle finally comes in and they start having a typical real housewives of Potomac fight where everybody is a fighting way too big just because, you know, they're on TV and it's a scene. And Jacelle is the funniest

one with this every time because Monique tells her, look, look, just, uh, me and Jacelle, we just say missions. So just why don't you give me a chance, get to know me. And then if you don't like me, then it's okay. Then it's okay. Because at least you don't like me. And you're not just liking me because of a fish tank in my kitchen or whatever. And just, just, uh, goes, well, uh, to be honest with you. Uh, wait, uh, uh, because just sells ultimate sign of disrespect in a fight is to eat while you're talking and too really loudly in your face. So now she's taking you to step further and choking and Monique goes, you about to lie and you choking on minds. Yeah. She says, God, God, God, God's like, I don't like when people

tell lies. So he just choked her right from the start. Well, I would like to mention that I'm surprised that you didn't go in on the waiter. I thought for sure you were going to hate the waiter in this scene. And secondly, I also got like irrationally annoyed when Shree said, I'll have the moist medium turkey burger, please. I'm sorry. Shopshree's. Is that called that?

The moist maybe. I was wondering. I didn't know if it was, then I have some doubts about summer house restaurant if it isn't called at the night then I don't even know what's going on who orders a medium turkey burger is that anything that's the other thing I was like a medium turkey burger or like you are you I mean turkey burgers only come in one one temperature and that is done yeah I will back from more time with Elva. I'm a bun.

Well, I hear that seafood is really good for cholesterol. So I'll have some salmon ellipthes. This low-rent ass show, I love it. Yeah, she's trying to serve out the entire sugar. She's trying to serve out the entire sugar. A moist medium. Good luck with that. I just want, here's how I'm a turkey burger.

I want it cooked through, but keep it pink in the middle. That's all, that's how it's how it's how it's raw. Champagne, moon, damn, pain, moon. Why, why puke with Salmonella when you can laugh in a champagne moon? So the fight, uh, gets going again and money's like, look, I just extended invitation to my home. And as soon as you walked in, it's like, look, I just extended invitation to my home. And as soon as you walked in, it's like, and then we get a cliff of Giselle.

And then when we cut back to cells, like eating nachos loudly, she's like, I'm, I said, sorry. And she goes, well, I heard you, but I didn't feel you. Yeah. And then Monique, and well, that's what Monique said. I heard you, I didn't feel you. But then Monique said, well, you know, I wanted to apologize, which is why I asked for your number. And she said, I was like, you didn't ask for my number. You told me. I was like, you know, you bitches are crazy. You bitches are real crazy.

It was a statement. And Monique's like, I am begging a woman for her number. I don't want you to crush the ass panties. And she said, she said, well, you called me a stuck-up trick. And I don't even know what a trick is. Come on, Jacelle. You are a trick. And Munik's like, well, I don't like the curse. So I'll say tricks that way I don't curse as if it's like some saintly gesture on what person doesn't know what a trick is. Yeah. Come on. Yeah, exactly. Did you not read that this is hashtag shady Sunday, ma'am?

It's a little like 20-year-old Never-She interns can write hashtag shady Sunday. Then you have to know what a trick is. Come on. Not tricks, they're illusions. So let's see. So just by asking her hand motion where she does that. Heather, do you bro claw hands, but like squishing the whole face with her hand? Yeah. And she's like, don't you wave your hand at me. Don't you wave your hand at me.

And now they're like fighting in an olive garden. And just like, listen, money doesn't buy you class. Money doesn't buy you manners. I'm like, you just ate nachos with your mouth open. Squash your hand in somebody's face. So then Sheree she goes, excuse me, but this isn't about you, it's about me. You guys are my friends. And I'm like, what are you doing?

You are renovating a room to push champagne in. I'm not even you. You're paying for the board. My hoverboard needs to be recharged, and I don't know where the tarther is, okay? I'm going through a lot right now. I need you to be happy for me. Yeah, she tries to steal it with her own fake tears.

And Karen's like, no tears. If you want to talk about something, uh-oh, she said no tears and she's like, no tears. If you want to talk about something, uh, oh, she said no tears and she's like, well, I think that men can have some if-ooth. And Karen says, well, if we do, we can talk about it another day, one on one. Like this lunch was supposed to be. Yeah.

Like this lunch was supposed to be one of us three women and I'd be perfectly situated in the middle, but now I'm a skew and equally in the middle with you. Hmm, wonder how you would feel about that if you had tried to make some sort of equal positioning. Miss Jazelle is coming along but she did eat the entire tray of nachos in one anger swoop. And I don't appreciate it.

And Jazelle's like, you didn't eat. She's like, how could I? It's a tornado with this table. You want to suck it up? You want to suck it up everything. How's like how could I? It's a tornado with this table. You're not just sucking up everything. How could I eat when I'm sitting here a skew, not really in the middle, just sort of on one half of the table, which is really not the intent. How can anyone eat under these circumstances? I'm not sure. So then we get a butt crack commercial, which is the best thing I've ever seen on TV. It's for liquid drain, no, and everyone's a plumber.

So everyone's butt crack is hanging out. And I have to say Hollywood has really even white-washed butt cracks because they're all like perfectly shaved and cute. Like you want a butt crack? Bring my butt crack onto that drain of commercial, okay? Let's get some real butt crack on there, drain, no? Yeah. So then when we come back, Monique and Chris are working out at the house,

and Monique wants to throw a party for Mulani. Chris is like, that sounds like a great idea! Oh, oh, oh, oh, it's Lombanhas! Let's get it all! Now let's work on our core. Let's do our ads one two three four I'm not going anywhere with them just counting. Let's do sit-ups Fee

four four So my reach out'm becomes back down the the whole house shakes. They make him come down a stock because he can't get on that. Well, does this have, does this room have enough, does this house have enough room for a stock? We need to grow something in the middle of the living room

for Chris get bed. So money, money, it's uh, we're having a birthday party for our one year old Melani. And the Samu's love to throw a party, especially at our 19,000 acre, 15,000, $1,000,000 multi side, hard at home. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. My end this right here is why you're annoying Monique Do you had to throw in the stats of your lake house in Vienna, Virginia? See this is what I'm always on the fence about on these shows like a Viva dresser made me crazy with it Because every time she would come on screen she'd be like here. We are in our Zillion dollar car parking on the shoulder whatever. I And I was like, you're so stuck up.

But don't you think they kind of make them do that? Yeah, I think that I also feel that way too. Like I feel like they probably have have her say that, but it still annoys me. No, I'm like a rashly. I don't give her the pass on this one. When I give other people the pass, like, well, the producer's probably made her say that. But I don't know. It's it's never noise because she didn't have to say that the bottle of wine was $750 marked down to 250 you know yeah

and she throws it out every five seconds yeah so anyway it's like well how much is this party gonna cost get it all and she's like well there's at least 200 people there and he said your about your budget's 20 grand and she's like, well, there's at least 200 people there. And he said your budget is 20 grand. And she's like, well, 20 grand, that's a soft cost. If you include the hard costs, it's probably like 30 grand. So I'm within the budget, just not his. Oh, really? How many concussions did you get earn that extra $15,000. My brain may be jealous, but I can still change a ATM in this. Yeah.

Now, wherever we see this before, really every show. Yeah. But especially, Mary Domenicin. And look what happened when you were at this to you to Eugene Everything was spreading this much that much my husband's rich my husband's rich now they broke Yeah, well you should have did was

Stayed in $20,000. Here's what you should have done. You should have just gone to bowling alley like any Adults I mean, how about this how about you invite seven people over because the babies one years old Okay, one year old All right, we don't need 200 people to celebrate a baby that can't even process what's going on. It's drooling and you know Doesn't even get the blanket more depressing when you guys are bankrupt and she's five and understands what's happening You know, I've already been I've seen those pictures on the eye cloud of her first birthday and her mother's spending all of her college money. Like you're really just digging yourself a mom grave. Hey Monique, you know who spent $30,000 on a daughter's birthday? You know, do that?

Taylor Armstrong, okay. And we know exactly how that turned out. Yeah. Exactly. So, Chris would break the whole damn beam of the house. I wasn't implying that. I was just implying just general and happyness. I don't think Chris is that make a double.

Don't ruin your own house too. I think Chris is unable, something Chris will be unable to do in his life. Yeah, he's gonna have to do it the old fashioned drowning way or so. Okay, yeah, I don't even need to go. This is my dark. It is, but the point is,

it's my fault. I mentioned Taylor Armstrong. When you mentioned it, it's like like Ghosts and Spirits enter the podcast. Yeah, Taylor Armstrong, there's so much darkness around Taylor Armstrong. That's like the lightest thing that's happened to Taylor Armstrong. I mean, that's like a really dark story. We still don't know what ever happened to Snowball. That's what I'm put that one out there. So still sharing it great great with the daughter. Yeah. So yeah, she's gonna spend all his money blah, blah, blah. She doesn't want it. She's gonna invite the whole town except just hell. Yeah. And she goes, well, we don't vibe. And Chris just goes, no, no, no, all right. Oh, yeah, no, no, no, no, like he still won't stand up to this little bit squeak and just like I'm spending all your money

Good luck playing senior citizen football. I hope they still have that. Yeah, exactly enjoy. Well, yeah, it's called Canada so Oh gosh, meanwhile I have to point out that of the trash can the trash the trash truck has arrived Well, see that's a sign, Monique. I was I was like, I could not be more appropriate when talking about Potomac that a trash truck shows up. And you can hear the clattering of old white microwaves. I guess I can tell.

I need to take Monique's life away. Yeah. She's pretending to have. So, Monique says, uh, well, Jazeal, you know, I don't know why Jazeal's mad at me. Maybe I remind her of what life was like for her before everything happened. LOL. Yeah. I mean, good call, but still bitch, babe.

Yeah, well, that cuts both ways because, guess what, Chizelle's man cheated on her. So, possibly with Fadre. Oh, yeah. That's right. I forgot about that. That's right. I forgot about that. We talk about that that Jacelle's ex-husband the slutty preacher is the one is rumored to be Mr. Chocolate. Oh, oh, I don't know if we I don't know if we mentioned that he was Mr. Chocolate, but I think that Fadra

mentioned on the reunion right that she would talk to him to get advice and then I think they said his name and it was like oh that's just else. Yes, just else X and the rumors are that that's chocolate and she's been having an affair with him forever and if you think about it that's perfect for a fadre like a shady sluddy preacher. I mean that is a match made in heaven. She'll finally go up against someone her equal. Yeah. Does that mean that she's gonna come onto Potomac because she needs a job.

Yeah, she's gonna need a job Well anyway over in Potomac Karen is bringing some wine over to Ray in the living room and we learned that they received a cash offer from China on the house So it's time to move on out and they either have to get a rental or or buy something quickly and There's a house in Great Falls, Maryland, which is only 20 minutes away or buy something quickly. And there's a house in Great Falls, Maryland, which is only 20 minutes away, that Karen has her eyes on.

And you know, it should be very sad to leave Potomac for all the stuff that she has worked for there. And I'm not sure what that is, like maybe a subway punch card, but she'll be happy to take her punch card over to Great Falls, Maryland. It's only 20 miles away. The title of Grand Dom goes with me anywhere I go.

Yeah. And yeah, I think I actually do think that's a pretty transferable title because I don't think anyone gives a shit about Potomac or Great Falls. It's not like saying you're the Grand Dom of Manhattan. It's like, I'm the Grand Dom of a suburban community. Yeah, it's just, it doesn't really count anyway when you name yourself.

You know, it's like on Southern Charm, they named their child Saint. Like, you know, he doesn't get an automatic statue in a Catholic church, right? Yeah. Exactly. Or a medical show. It's the rest of the United States. Yeah. Karen Herbert Walker. Grand Dom of the Mason Dixon line. So you grew

Walker. What am I talking about? I don't I honestly don't know what I'm saying. My brain is jello. I was I know I feel like I was like working the the the the O line with Chris there. I'm the redskins field because I have no idea what the words are coming in my mouth right now. I think that Karen could be the president if it was like 24 and she's like That is against the rules now I've printed the rules for you on a well a skew piece of paper in this Rostrustal frame if Karen you go we're on 24 We all know she would not be the president She would just be the bureaucrat that runs CTO.

Because that's her thing. She would stand in a little glass box above the floor and look down and be like, Jack, this is not how we interrogate people. We do not use torture. We use manners. Jack. This is unacceptable. Jack.

Hey. Sherees, could you bring me the reports about Jack? Sherees, you are my assistant. You are not the co-head of C-T-U, Sherees. I just asked you to help me, Sherees. Jack, it's not Sherees T-U. It really should be K-T-U, but there's a lot of radio station in New York called that, so we call it C-T-U.

All right, Sherees. Jack. Halt on K-T-U is calling. K-T-U, I've asked you to stop playing Donna Summer. It's just rude. But I would like to put in a request for Lizette Melendez. Thank you very much, K-T-U. Anyway, Jack, there's a hostel on the third floor.

Sorry, I was putting you in my request. Are you still there, Jack? My song should be coming up any moment. I'm just gonna tear it again. Please dedicate this song to Jack Bauer. Jack? Jack, I'll pat you through to KTU. You won't be hearing me. I know that the enemies are closing in, but you will be hearing my request very shortly. And then I'll come back on Jack. Where the hell is Chloe?

So the next scene is Robin goes to a therapist. Now thankfully this is not Dr. Jeff. No, her name I think was Kier, something like that, like Kier Royale. So I love that. Royale. I don't know you. And I'm a queen. I'm a queen. That's why I work with you know I say it's government So Robin sits down and she's like, oh, I've never done this before not that I need to

Robin denial ain't just a river somewhere in the world, okay? Specifically I'm sick of talking about one. I know people don't understand our relationship and they just don't get it. Ugh. So this therapist is no Dr. Jeff, but unfortunately she's no Dr. Laura either. This woman's like, let's understand her feelings.

And it might be good for Robin because she does explain the thing like long distance relationships in high school. He's a cheater and then she goes I think I'm guarded emotionally because of the cheating. Wow. Congratulations. Wow. Good job. I know. And then she goes and he has another breakthrough. She goes, oh I just don't think I want to be disappointed again and maybe that's why I don't put myself out there. Wow. bombshells all around. And the doctor says, um, so are you, is there, has there been no conversation?

You know, you guys haven't even talked about your situation at all. She's like, well, he talks about it to the producers when he tells them he wants me to die in my sleep, but I'm not really there. So it doesn't go. And then she's like, do you want love? Don't be a whole. Robin, do you want love? I got a love for my kids.

Robin, um, are you been in juries? That's pretty loving. Robin, it was like very good will hunting. Do you want love? And she's like, hmm. I just wrote, I wrote, do you want love. She's like, I just wrote, I wrote, do you want love? No, I'm very competitive in tennis. This is not a test. This has been attached to the emergency broadcast system. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Flush flood warning. Mmm. Mmm. It's very sad announcement. Mmm. There's an earthquake. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. So that's how this is basically like, okay, here's your homework. I want you go and define trust like from the dictionary, define what it means. And oh yeah, by the way, go on a few dates. Like that's a pretty big step that she has to take. So Karen and Sheree's next. They're, look, you have foamingo.

It's the backyard. And Sheree's new young, like willing to try anything Sheree. So she's like, you want to open the pool with me? Like wow, Teresa, you're living large today. And Karen's like, I can't have so much on my mind. She's like, literally my wig is huge. It's literally pressing on my mind. My neck hurts.

Selling the house moving. It's just so much. And Sherry says, we'll just sell it. And she's like, oh, we did. China. Money's in the account, honey. And like, you know that that is like an Igerian email scam. And PayPal is taking back that money.

The second you signed over that house. Well, I thought what was weird was Sherry's trying to find something shady about it. Because Sherry's was like, I think it's weird that Karen is a movie. I think it's odd that Karen could sneak out of town when my girl fell to health. And I'm like, this is Sharice's new thing today. This is what I was going to say earlier. Her new saying today is, I find it odd that the Reese got money because I hope they got what you want them because that price of it down down down down and then Karen says well you know I want she says

something about the memories of the house and Sherees goes we can create memories in the pool I find it's odd that we had trouble finding our home because Moneque found the home like boom suggesting she's poor, but it's also like what is like what a stupid observation like people finding a house is a process and it's not easy and it's not quick. Some people find something quickly, especially if they have like an NFL husband who's got millions upon millions and can get off it on some crazy house. She's poor. Right. The flat-out suggestion is that she's poor. She's being so shady.

And then Karen goes, well, I was thinking of planning a trip and trees because I find that odd. It's where the I find the odd. The thickest technique out of her home is she's working so hard. I find that odd that she's working so hard to find the health. And yet she doesn't even want to sit on my inflatable flamingo

So Already planning with Josie. Oh, oh, we're talking about Jizz and Monika's I told you it's drunk. I made her I made her to seek in my notes when I was drunk last time Jack You have to go meet with Joe Zeke. She has files for you. Karen says, well God doesn't put more on your shoulders than you can handle.

Oh yeah, God, God's up there planning like, man, I hope this crazy rich lady is able to get lots of money for a house and then is able to buy another house for a lot of money. You know, God has shit to do, Karen. So the group just, so Karen's like, that's what I want to have a vacation. You know, maybe something like St. Thomas, or I don't remember if she said St. Thomas

or Sheree said St. Thomas, but one of them said St. Thomas, then one of them said Bermuda. And as Sheree said, because she's like, I did a compliment Bermuda. It's like, okay. So Karen's like, well, we're the two ones in this group. So let's do it together.

Yeah. And then she tells us, well, she'll be a good helper because she's very good at organization, but who's better to be the hostess than me? Karen Huber. I will. Thanks, everyone. They're invitations shortly. Everyone wants to be invited by the queen. So sure, Karen's like, well,

I need my planning crown. And she's just like, I get the crown. And Karen says, I just asked you to help. You know, sure, this is why I really think she's the worst because it is sort of bullshit. It was Karen's idea. She was like, we should go on vacation. I want to go on vacation. She says, for me, But she says not then all doesn't get to co-op this thing and get the crown. I'm sorry She does not get the crown Karen gets the crown even Karen. This is the demas fight ever So I can't even believe we're gonna argue if someone were they both get the crown But if someone were to get if there's only one crown, I would give it to Karen

Well Karen never gets anything done as we remember later in this episode, but she goes Sharice picked Vermeera and Karen was the first one to say, we're the mature one. So let's do it together. And then even after all this crown fighting, Karen goes, well, we both have crowns. She said something like that. And I was like, oh, God, now this is going to be a season long fake fight with Karen. But I love Snitty Karen. So I'm glad it's coming.

But the thing is this, you know that like, that's like Sheree's style though would be to like, I want it. I want it. Like I mean Karen, Karen has her thing like, well, I mean, to have the crown, but I feel like Sheree says the girl who like wants to take your toys. Yes. You know, that's true. She like literally just wants another crown.

She wants to flamingo. Yeah. Yeah. Can I have the the a crown with your crown look like Yeah, hobby lobby or Michael tell me the proof tell me the truth I don't have to I'm the grand dom of this flamingo pool. I have the ground and this up there. How about that? You know all this talk about traveling really makes me think about luggage and I mentioned that because we have a brand new sponsor It's away and they're really cool. They designed special objects for modern travel like luggage and stuff Yeah, they their tagline is first class luggage at a coach price which is true

We actually got two carry-ons from them. They're really nice hard case zip up lockable from them. They're really nice hard case zip up lockable carry-ons that also have a battery inside to charge your phone up to five times. Yeah, I mean, it's amazing. I like literally cannot. I've never seen anything like that before, so I'm like super excited to have a high-tech piece of carry-on luggage. I know. Who knew? Yeah, it's also the perfect father's day gift, eh? Yeah, I know, who knew? Yeah, so it's also the perfect father's day gift, eh? Yeah, yeah. In fact, they're doing this whole promotion, where you can give the dad in your life one of their carry-ons,

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and use promo code crap ins and that's for $20 off any carry on purchase of Free Hairy Shape Kit and Stories Collection Bot. Yeah, go do it, it's cool. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or So we cut between a swinging exercise class. Yeah, I don't know what that was. It was basically, yeah, it was like, there's really quick montage. We're basically the other woman learned that there's going to be a trip. It was like nothing. It was just like two scenes, like quick scenes, like women in a sling exercising and other women and it's like whatever.

Yeah, so the rest of this, the biggest thing in this episode is the party for the one year old, you know, the typical running around before. And Monique, you know, sank stat a lot and pretending she's working. She comes down to bikini. Her whole family is down. They're getting ready for the party. And she's like, um, I hope you're all ready to work. I'm like, they are already, they're working already. You were upstairs adjusting your tits like putting on makeup. Yeah. Also, I actually really resent when she's like, well, if you come you know, if you come to a San Miles party earlier, you're going to be put to work. I'm like, I actually resent that I do not like that. I do not like going to a party and being put to work.

I actively dislike that. If you do that to me, I chances are I will probably not go back to your party unless I really like you a lot. Well, the rule is always come late so you don't set up and always leave early so you don't clean up. Thank you. And you know what? Everything was, you know, everything was gone traffic and so people had to help set up and everything. You know what?

That's a poorly planned party. I'll say that. And on top of that, I will also say I wouldn't have been an issue if she just gone a freaking cake from Carvelle and a few like like sound maker things, whatever, some party hats, some presents, and a karaoke machine done. Yeah, it's not for the kid, it's for the mom, all the, so her like to do list of things that she's out trying to get people on top of this hilarious, she's like, that long furniture needs to be closer to the pool. Where are the teaky torch sticks? Where's the pastor leaf?

Where is the pastor leaf? The age. Yeah, leaf. And she's like, well, they're flat as delayed. And she's like, I will be so devastated if my pastor doesn't make it. Yeah. Come on now. Yeah, seriously.

I mean, because, well, we learn, I was like, I was like mid rolling of my eyes, like my eye was like at the noon position. And then, and then she's like, cause we're doing, we're doing a baby dedication. I was like, oh, fine, fine. Well, Sharice arrives and it's like, I find it odd that they have a goat factory right next to a pair.

And she sits in this chair right next to the pet exoo and these goats are like going straight for the cha cha you know the cha cha cha. Well they tell her like be careful the big one he's aggressive and she likes it's right next to the big one. Yeah and then as they like forced their heads on her because goats are not easy animals you know they're basically trying to like ram her and she's sitting right there and she doesn't get up and move she just goes I find it odd that these goats keep trying to eat things off of me it's almost like they sense some sort of power almost like I'm wearing a crown that you heard of here first the goats have to call that's declared I'm the queen of the trip go set

I heard that Sharice. It's my crown Maybe the reason why maybe the reason why the goats have like me is because they see that I'm a fellow goat as in Greatest of all time hashtag crown half-tag champagne I don't feel good that that do see me that do see goofy medium turkey sandwich made me feel bad. I find it odd that it always feels so thick after I have a medium-rare turkey burger. So Ashley shows up and everyone's like, where's Michael? Where's Michael? Say, he did to be Towson.

She riskas. I find the odd thing. I was out Michael. They're like, I mean, fair. I was like, okay, you're too stupid to realize that Sunny and Cher went through a terrible divorce. Like, if that was a subtle joke on her part, it would have been hilarious.

Yeah, but, uh, porceries. Yeah, poor, porceries, porceries. I find itceries porceries I find it odd that shreece doesn't find it odd that it makes sense that Michael escapes away to rohobeth because I mean rohobeth is like a nevermind we all learned it last season we saw it all last season no need for me to retread. I wish Jacelle had been here to say, do you have an air conditioner yet? He's getting it installed.

Oh, so Monink's parents are there, and they're really young. And Ashley's like, her parents are even younger than Michael and way younger than Karen, let's face it. I find it odd that you have such young parents, Moby, what's the secret? You can tell me because I'm wearing the crown. Where are the crown, Karen?

What you say between you and a queen is consequent. I heard that, Sasha. So let's see. She basically gets advice from Kevin, the ex-father, and he basically says, look, when you have a man and you're in love, that's great, but when you start trying to control him, that's when things break down.

And she's like, wow, that's crazy, cause that is what's happening. Let's talk about it. So it's basically marriage advice from a divorced guy, which you know, it's like taking relationship advice for me who's never in one It's you got to take it with a grain of salt although the problem is that actually serves her food under seasoned So I Got real sassy right there. That was like a shasha They're asking to take something with a grain of salt thought but the same time. Hey food is under seasons

Like funny and fair like no snow doesn't make sense to read You go to like funny and fair so the girls gather around the gossip and Robbins like This group, you know, I think we just need to find some balance and sharees goes well i i am balance and care and goes oh really because i don't think you're balanced your own balance and then starts doing that care and like because saw had the nerves to say we're planning a trip together well because well because shasha well, the thing is this, she said, I throw events, I organize things. Like, like, that's, and yo, we've never really,

she had just elk or cramps, okay? That's what I'm trying to get at, okay? She had just elk or cramps. Anyway. And Karen says, well, it was my brain child. So Karen is mad at Shasha and she's like, I think I'm fine, I'm balanced right now. Oh, wait, sorry. Well, I'm getting on the side. You're right. Shasha. I just convobulated. Shasha said I think I'm fine. I'm balanced right now. And then Karen goes right now. And then

Shasha is like, oh, I feel like I'm I feel like I'm feeling something between us. I'm feeling something and Karen goes, I feel absolutely nothing. And she says, but I think you have a few with me and she goes, I don't, because I don't care. Mm, mm, mm. And that's when she makes her plastic clown face attitude, like let's fight face. Yes.

And just starts nodding a lot with that crazy Joker. Have you noticed yet where her upper lip bends right above? Yes. Yeah, looks like a little tiny thin mustache. It's hilarious. Oh, yeah, that's like the very first thing I noticed about her. Yeah, curls right up.

Trying to do it right now. It's a trick. Yeah, no, it's very special. So I like that when Karen just goes, Sharree's needs to take her dry life and stick in her dry lane. Ha, ha, ha. How dare you say I've dry. I've got that pain.

Ha, I have dry, that pain. And my famed pain room, I find it odd that you're making fun and throin-ness when you know that I'm pain or famping. I find it odd that my favorite famed pain is dry and that's not my fault for you. So anyway, Sharice thenthen does say she goes, for someone who's moving, Karen is spending more time worrying about planning the permutor that fighting a place to live and make no sense. I'm like, it actually makes a perfect amount of sense.

You are allowed to plan a vacation while browsing houses. Yeah, you can do two things at once, babe. You are allowed to plan a vacation while browsing houses. Yeah, you can do two things at once, babe. So the emergency is now a non-emergency, because the pastor has finally gotten off of his Southwest flight. And he's here. And he gives a speech and he's like, people of Argentina just kidding.

He's like, everybody, Lord, I give Melani back to you as you gave her to us. I'm like, is he gonna drown the baby? Yeah, we don't get Melani back to Jesus. He's like Lion King. Yeah, who says that? Leave Melani here. Okay. We're not using the pool for drowning today, sir. So it was, yeah yeah it was like this moment and everyone's like yay and then and now we go we leave we leave Virginia and then it's like a day or two later and Robin who goes and visits Jacelle at the spa and is like oh she's like oh well Jacelle you missed the big party Jacelle's like well thank God for that I don't want to be there

with those people. And then Jacelle like, well, thank God for that. I don't wanna be there with those people. And then Jizzell gets to say a lot of Jizzell snooty things that don't make very much sense. Yeah. And she's like, well, I can't wait for Bermuda because I'm ready for some billionaires on the beach. Like, okay, I don't know that that's how that works, but okay.

Jizzell also says that Monique is a Jizzell hater for no reason that anyone can understand. I'm like, I think actually, she's a Jazelle Hader because you've been nasty to her ever since you met her. Yeah, pretty much, but of course Robin well. But then Robin does do fun things where she's like, the party was ridiculous. It was at least 30 grand. It was great. My girl, my boys had a great time. I think your girls would have had a good time. I didn't find love though. But Jizelle does see a fight she can start. And she always loves that because Robin says speaking of Bermuda, the hosts are fighting about a Karen

successive. And Jizelle's like, well, I can't go on Karen alone. We need to reach a Reese. Okay. Okay. Next we're going to be in the olive garden with Jacelle fighting with Karen about a co-host. Yeah, exactly. So then the speaking of which, we then have a permute a planning meeting where Karen and Shasha meet up. And Karen is like, now here's this. I asked if you'd like to help with the planning.

I didn't ask if you'd be co-host. I mean, you're basically my assistant. And then Shasha, of course, is like a fifth and a fifth and I find it odd if you've been out of the country. Pathport, this even have a pathport. My good one, Theresa. And then I like when Karen just goes, Theresa, it's not you. You know, I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer.

I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer.

I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. I'm not going to be a good singer. Pathport that you even have a path for it. My good one, Theresa. And then I like when Karen just goes She reads it's not Got a little Whitney Houston in her there all of a sudden She says just bow out gracefully So had to they ever bow in gracefully I think so then they decided they sort of like

Resolved to have some sort of like, it was like King Solomon, King David thing, we split the baby, split the child in half. So basically Karen is gonna host the day, and Shreece is gonna host another day, and Karen will host the dinner party, and Shasha is gonna host a boat ride, and Karen's like, that's a wonderful idea. I love that. See, look, we figured it out. The crown's still mind bitch.

I'm down with the boat ride. I'm down with the boat ride. Do you feel better? Do you? Do you feel better? And then Shari says, I think that Karen is acting crazy because we have to move. I have to say this show does one thing better than any other housewives show. Honestly, they see what is behind the real fight. So are they see the realness behind whatever they're using as an excuse to fight. So most shows is like, I'm mad because you said this in a party, but it's really because of another reason. And this show they go straight to the other reason every week. They're like, the race reason's acting crazy but it's really only because she's hurt because of her husband

Karen is acting like a total bitch but she's just sad about moving you know i don't like that very nice not so special guys but i feel like sherees is trying to gaslight us and trying to be like isn't Karen so crazy because she should be worried about moving and instead she's worried about this isn't she crazy shouldn't she be worried about moving and instead she's worried about this isn't she crazy Shouldn't she be worried about moving more what's wrong with Karen? I'm like nothing is wrong. She's just moving It's like she's literally just moving She's so dumb the gaslight anybody. She'd be like look the light is on. Yeah, it's up on fire. Yeah, they've yeah She just turned on the kids at

night. That's me not a gas. No, it's not. It's electricity. Yeah, there is. Yeah, it is. Stop gas sliding me. She actually, she actually, she just thinks that gas sliding only pertains to light bulbs. You can't gaslight anyone less than talking about light bulbs. That's why I name my daughter, Karatine. Ashley and Michael go to have a dirty dancing sex scene with woopy Goldberg type. What's that? That's not when he kissed woopy Goldberg right in that movie during this pottery scene. No, no, that was a different scene right? So first of all, it's not dirty dancing. It's ghost. Oh, it's ghost. Yes. I really feel I really feel like it was important to correct that. I know Patrick.

Swazie. I'm like, I probably will be reenacting dirty dancing soon enough. Yeah. If I see one Patrick Swazie thing and put it in there, I figure it'll work for. I'm like in Priscilla Queen of the desert when they made pottery around that will and to me more was behind Patrick. No. You're like, and then the Russians invaded that small town. Oh, the remake of Priscilla. I mean, what was the thing in the remake version with the Sennheen two long food two long food, one food, one ever. It's good. But either I'm just going to be quiet now. Okay. No, speak your truth. But yes, so they are it is. So is Demi Moore was was making pottery and then he came in as a terrestrial being and then

like got all sexy with her in the pottery. But then I think later on he came in in Ghost Form and made her pottery all sexy again. So anyway, this was like the bastardization of that because it's basically Ashian Michael and Michael sitting there and he essentially makes a penis out of his pottery. And he's like, this feels familiar. I'm like, this feels familiar. I'm like, see, I was going to cut myself off from making a Rehoboth Beach comment.

And now you're, you know, you bring, you were just, you bring it to the show yourself. Well, he's bringing in all the dad jokes because he's like, hello, pottery people. Where today's guinea bit. I mean, students look of made a dick. I'll recognize that one, eh? And she's like, you know, he's really doing great trying to make this light with his charm. But it can't. Look, his charm. Yeah, his dad jokes. So he's really trying to be nice in this

situation because he knows he really fucked up because she threatened to leave. And he's like, well, you know, we can have a baby now. And she's like, I don't think so. And then he goaps. And then his relationship advice, because she is putting it out. She's like, are we partners?

What are we doing? Are we partners in our relationship? Are we partners in life? And he still won't admit to anything. His sorry is like, well, I'm sorry that you had to fight with me. It's like, no, that's not a sorry. And then he goes, look, I look at us

like one plus one equals three. And now it's one plus one equals two. What does that mean? At least I have less than two. It doesn't matter. I guess that one word together, we're greater than our relationship is greater than just the two of us, but now it's less than two of us, maybe. I than our relationship is greater than just the two of us

But now it's less than two of us maybe I'm not just the two of us. We're I don't know. I'm not a bit math That's why I'm very good math. It's not even Matt. He wasn't mapping He was what that's what it's like one plus one equals three, which means it was stupid And now one plus one is two which is sensible Thanks, so I'm confused. She's confused. Everybody's confused. She's thankful she didn't have a baby with him when she wanted to because she wouldn't be able to leave him as easily. Yeah, because she's like, are we still in love? And he's like, yeah. She's saying, no, you're missing it.

I guess I'd like to talk about this again, meaning so I can yell at you when the cameras aren't here, bitch. Let's table this. Let's table this here. Let me continue to fondle my pottery dildo and then afterwards we can discuss babies. Did you not hear me getting picked, Duke? I'm working so hard today. Oh, man. So that was Potomac. We'll see next week they go on vacation, which is always a recipe for disaster.

It looks like there'll be some fire. It looks like Robin and Karen get into a fight, which is sort of exciting. And it's being a vacation, we have invite-only Cabo, which we can touch upon. There really was only like two main things that happened this episode, right? First was that C'monnie went to the hospital and everyone was just like waiting around in the waiting room, crying, saying prayers, like, how is she gonna survive, is she okay? They were really waiting on them, especially Hat.

He's like, she has children, she has children. Which one is Hat? A boy band guy. Oh, Malaku. I heard that Malaku had a stroke. Oh my God. Well, at least I just called him Hat. I don't think that's too mean Is it? Malaku is my favorite one. So Malaku get better. Malaku and

Germain the little gossips Yeah, yeah, they're all sitting there. They all had like tears in their eyes, you know doing prayers and then you know Come on it comes out and she's in a neck brace and I don't know why it made me laugh, but there's Something about seeing Kamani in a neck brace. I guess knowing how much I was annoying her just made me laugh. I'm glad she's okay. Yeah, Kamani lived and I was like, Yeah, okay, so they make you know after they made a prayer cycle and everything. So she lived. The other big news is it's B it's Bianca's birthday. Wait, before you go on to Bianca's birthday, I just want to point out that I loved how mean

the producers were to make her do her testimonials with her neck brace on. She had to show up there. You know, because you know, they could have shot those interviews weeks later after I came out, but they're like, no, we want you to wear that neck brace right now. You're doing it right now. And then also they showed in the middle of the night when Emily's helping her. She's like, Oh, I can't even take off my clothes. And I'm just like, you need my help taking off the clothes. Okay.

So she gets out of bed. Of course, she's butt naked. And she's like, what else over there? I'm just flopping around. And come on. He's like, bless her heart. But girl, please around and come on. He's like, bless her heart, but girl, please put some clothes on. It says the woman who like went on the pseudo date with Igu with her

boobs hanging out the side. Yeah, exactly. So Larry wants to do something nice for Bianca's birthday because she always has like week long events for him. And he never even gets very gift. And now he's got the budget of the producers who will just basically throw whatever party he says. So how kind. Yeah. So he decides to go ring shopping with the boys and they're like ring shopping. Why in the world would you buy her a ring? The girl just said she wants to get married to you. And uh, uh, he's like boy band. What's his name? Malaku. Why can't I remember that? Malaku. Just call him hat.

Malaku says that he's trying to tell Larry everything because Larry doesn't understand anything. So he's always breaking it down in the simplest ways. He's like, well, if you get the ring, it could create this, oh, this is my promise ring. Or maybe an engagement ring. And I was like, got it. So I will get her a ring to make sure there's no confusion that we are not getting married,

right? No, no, no. Get her like a necklace. Got it. I'll get her necklace and then I'll get down on one knee and say, will you marry me? And it'll be obviously a joke. Got it. And I'll tie it around her ring finger. And I'll take off, I'll take off the band, the string part and then just put the charm on her finger. Got it. Yeah. Okay, got it. So I'm going to just get her a ring. But instead of a diamond, it'll

be her birthstone. And he's like, well, that could possibly make her think of giving birth. Okay, got it. I've got it. Okay, how about this? How about a book of venue and like put it in like quotes is like Bianca and Larry's wedding. And then invite everyone to it.

I'll even like get her a wedding's rest. And it'll be just a great confirmation of our friendship. I just want her to know that when I give her this ring, it's my promise to her that I'm going to be by her side through thicker thing for better or worse, we sickness and health for richer for poor. Well, that could possibly be understood as a lifelong commitment. It is. I was thinking that like before I give her this, that maybe

we could go down to the church and pray about it, but I like to sort of sequence it out. So maybe like I'll go there first and you can come with me and we can just stand at the front and then we'll be like, hey, Bianca, come in and then Bianca come in and you know to make it nice, she can hold some flowers in her hand and then she can walk up to me and then I'll present the ring and I think she'll realize that since we're at a church with Jesus It's clearly a moment of great friendship Okay, how about I got it I got it How about I give her this ring promise to be with her forever and forever and then I stomp on a glass

To show that our friendship will never be shut. Oh, I got an idea. Why don't we go down to City Hall instead? Okay, like let's not confuse this. We'll go to the City Hall, we'll find a judge, we'll have him sign or certificate, and have him declare that we will always be in each other's lives, and we are gonna be friends, and we're gonna be friends forever, and we'll be very polite,

so we can call it like a civil ceremony. Uh, that could be considered as so the boys have a meeting and they all get together and they're like you guys. He cannot give her a fucking drink. He's crazy. She's already crazy enough as it is. We cannot let this go on. And so he Larry is like, well, Bianca does so much for me, and I never do much for her. So I'm gonna take her to a special dinner with just the two of us,

so I can give her her gift, la la la la la, and make her feel special. So the boy, he comes in and says, hey guys, and Jermaine and Larry are so funny. I mean, Jermaine and Malaku are so funny, because they're Jermine and Malaku are so funny because they're such concepts and they're always trying, they're like, what is Larry thinking?

They're like the only people who cares and Larry's always keeping them in suspense. Well, Larry was hilarious because they're like, you know, you really shouldn't give her that ring. And he's like, no one asked me who I love. No one asked if there's anyone in my life. No one asked me about me.

I'm like, Larry, what is this tear about? What is this supposed to prove? All we're saying is, don't give her a ring. Who cares if you have interest on the other side? I guess he's probably saying if anyone asked if who I was in love with, they would see that I'm not planning to marry her, right? I guess. But he's standing there in a sweater where his nipples are popping out and he's wearing a really long pearl necklace over it, over his sweater. It's so good. It's like BB, it's like his BB-fascins or whatever. And I, and I love, you know what guys? Let's take this down to the optical machine, okay? You guys, this is getting too heavy. Let's make this more lighthearted on the elliptical machine, okay? You guys, this is getting too heavy. Let's make this more lighthearted on the elliptical

elliptical machine. So Malak is like, well, look, here, because Agu says, well, if the actions don't add up to math, which is funny. And then Malak is like, look, what if Kamani and I started kissing? Wait, hold on, I'm dreaming. Hold on. Let me just stay here for a minute. Kissing Kamani still kissing Kamani. She's wearing a neck brace. Oh, hold on. I'm dreaming. Hold on. Let me just stay here for a minute. Kissing

come on. Still kissing come on. She's wearing a neck brace. Oh, shit. Why did you have to say that? So they do the argument about the ring again. And he's like, but you don't know who I love. And so, uh, Germaine and Malaku are like, who? Who would you be talking about? And he's like, well, I don't know. And Malaki says somebody from before and he goes, who would you be talking about? And he goes, someone from the East Coast. And he's like, well, when I'm ready to talk about it. I'm gonna build a Blasio.

I love marriage of Blasio. There I said it. Shudianny. He may be a dick, but he was a hero on 9-11. And you know, it sounds good with Larry. David Dinkins. Every mayor. Every mayor. I've got a mayor.

I have an ongoing New York City mayor crush. So they're like, well, when Larry's ready to tell us, Larry will tell us. Which is so funny. It's like these guys, their whole life ready to tell us, Larry will tell us. Which is so funny. It's like, these guys, our whole life is waiting to hear what Larry's gonna say. And, and know how careful they were to not use any gender pronouns. It's like, well, this person that I like, well, there's someone that I like, well, this person that we know, I was like, mm-hmm. And I feel bad. Someone I looked at, there's someone on our crap and the private crap

and group who was like, I don't care what you say, he's straight. I don't care what you say. He's straight. I don't care what you comment. Yeah. I don't even tell anymore. No, I know straight guys walk around with pearl necklaces outside the sweaters. They're like Nelson from Southern charm Savannah. Like who might I say? I don't even care anymore. Just say, just say, just put a sign in ranger neck. Tell me what you are and we're good. I'll believe whatever you say. So, and I don't think, by the way, I don't even care anymore. Just say, just say. Just put a sign in your ad, tell me what you are and we're good. I'll believe whatever you say. So. And I don't think, by the way, I don't think that Larry's even trying to hide it.

I think it's the producers that are trying to hide it. But try, and try to add like, this like, I think the producers are trying to have a moment like of where there's gonna be a shocking gay twist, but like, it's not a twist to anyone in that house, you know? Pearl necklace. Like, that's all I can say. I mean, it works on so many levels. So my favorite scene of this whole thing is at some point, it's not obviously an Emily's wasted. Yeah. She's just walking around racially and she goes, ah, I found some food. I found some food.

And and and August says to meet on there she goes, me it does not my problem. Oh, oh, she's trying to be all sexy. There's like food coming out or not and

her main is looking at her like both grossed out, but also he's like, I love when you two. Are you getting in Arsenio a young Arsenio vibe from germane? I am. That's a great. I never thought about that, but I am getting that that vibe. I didn't get it till last night because he's coming out a little bit more and I'm I'm getting that when he gets all out of 2D he gets our set of space when he gets like happy mad you know what I mean uh so he's like I love when you chew and Emily goes oh that's bi see this the best taco bell I ever had

I see this the best taco bell I ever had. You're eating the paper towel. Oh, I like the fabric flavor. So Agu is cleaning up after her, which means, you know, that's like fucking language to Emily, like any hot man who will walk behind her with a swiffer, you know, it's what she needs to soulmate. So she starts bumping her ass into it was crotch and she's like, I hear for you. And she's like rubbing up on his dick.

And she's like, oh, why don't I go right outside and you meet me? I need cigarettes. Oh, you commute me to outside. Gosh, be outside. So, she remains like that girl with gin and jungle Zeus, jungle juice, she's, she's a one track mine and she's a dog with a one track mine and she's getting her bone. I like, by the way, how everyone on this show is quietly responsible. Even when they're drunken messes, like, like, as you mentioned, Agu was swiffering. There was like a shot

of Jermaine cleaning a blender at one point. You know, they're all just always constantly cleaning and making cakes. Yeah. So they're good roommates for the most part. And so she goes outside and the boy is, you know, hat and what's his face. Dremain start making fun of Agu.

They're like, are you gonna go for it? And he's like, no, man, come on, he's sleeping right in the next room. And Germain licks his lips and he goes, well, someone's wide open talking about Emily. And then it cuts to Emily in a night vision shot on the patio sun chair with her head like completely zonked out behind her going, yeah, she's already passed out. She's done. It's great.

But it's moments like that watch where I really love this show. It's just funny random interlude, you know? So then, I get bored, but my favorite is Emily makes me laugh every single time. And so does Larry. Larry's really fun, you too. I like, I don like I honestly like them all

My my friend Logic is like apparently friends with all these people and he told me that Emily is the best He's like, oh my god. I love that. I'm any anything anything. He says germane's really sweet, too but but but the rumor is Emily is fantastic But the rumor is Emily is fantastic. Yeah, she's like it. Watch her crap and spreading wonderful rumors about people. Yeah, she sounds, she seems like it. So then is the date. He takes, Larry takes BeyondCap for date night

and then they all go for a group party for BeyondCap. I'm gonna give her that cake. Yeah, because they all go out, well, because yeah, there's a thing they wake, first of all, they wake her up at at like 9 30 in the morning to present Or the cake which I kind of think is obnoxious. I don't want to be if it's my birthday Let me wake up at my own time even if you have a game actually a bomb. It's like let me sleep in for Christ's sake Yeah, Jesus so they so they they do wind up going out to a red ultimately there's some stuff that happens

But they wind up going out to this wreck. Ultimately, there's some stuff that happens, but they wind up going out to this restaurant. And at the restaurant, that's when Larry's like, okay, I'm gonna give her the ring now. So he pulls her off to the side, but they can also see him. He pulls her off to the side, and he gives her the ring, and he's like Bianca.

I like Wonshu to be in my life forever. And this is gonna be a reminder that we'll always be in each other's lives. Forever, forever. We're like family now. We're like inseparable now. And I'm giving you this ring. And he gives you the ring. And he puts it on her ring finger.

I know. And she goes. Oh, I'm so shocked. She has this tight smile, like, did he just propose? Yeah. Did he just propose? And if he did propose, is this my engagement ring? Did this come from Cabo's answer to Claire's boutique?

Claire's suit does boutique. And then everybody else is watching and talking about it. And Emily's like, oh, putting on her base. That's all she ever does. So Bianca goes, so this is like a forever ring. And he's like, yeah, forever. It's like, oh, you've never given me anything. But now we're closer because this symbolizes unconditional love,

you know, and so they go talk to the, oh, she doesn't get a load of time with the guys yet. Larry has to leave town. Yeah, he's going to Phoenix for something, but she does tell everybody else. They're like, oh, how do you feel? And she's like, it's like a fairy tale in sickness and in health. I'm just trying to think of a really shitty fairytale. Like, what's one that no one ever really seems to like, Rumpel still skin. One of those on charismatic fairytales you just learn. Oh my god. So yeah but but then Larry, I guess he texts them when he's out in Phoenix, he texts them and they're all out at it. They're all eating and he's like, hey guys, I'm coming back and I'm bringing

someone special with me. Something like that. I think I fell asleep at this part. It was like the last minute and I like fell asleep at the last minute and like, ah, whatever. But I think he texts them saying, I'm basically gonna be like a new roommate, right? Yeah. And that's I think the cliffhanger. So yeah. So they're trying to figure out if it's a girl or a boy.

All that stuff should be accepted. And Bianca thinks it's a girl and they're like, why would you think it's a girl? And she goes, because if it was a boy, he would have said, I'm bringing my homie. It's like, okay. Yeah. The anchor really does know him well.

She knows all of his text codes. Yeah. It winds up being my friend. It's like, that's not, that's not, that's not everyone. He's on the show. Um, so anyway, um, that is below, I'm sorry, below deck. That was invite only Cabo. Thanks everyone for listening.

We will be back, Maniana, to discuss some southern charm and on Wednesdays below deck. The Spring and Thursday is real hot sauce in New York and on Friday. It's below deck. Now what I keep on saying is below deck. It's southern charms of Anna. Okay.

Okay. Thanks everyone for listening. Bye! Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens, Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before

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