Watch What Crappens - #472 Southern Charm: I Learned It By Watching You, Shep!

Episode Date: June 7, 2017

Shep wakes up at one with a hangover. Is it rock bottom? Or just Tuesday? Let’s all try to feel things. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-slashwatch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media.

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Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How you doing, baby? Pretty swell. How about you? So good. I've had a really fun week so far. Um, every bad day, bin and I both went separately on Molly McLears podcast. Uh, Mother, may I sleep with podcast? Um, Ben's is up now, mine comes up, I think later in the week,

and I also did DumbGay politics this week with Julie and Brandy. So go check that out. I talk like a crazy conspiracy person because that's what I love to talk about with all that stuff. So go check it out everybody. Yeah, check those podcasts out.

I personally had a great time on Molly's podcast. It was so, so fun. I can't wait to hear. I haven't listened to the episode just yet, but I'm going to try to listen to it this afternoon. I like going on. Go work out. Yeah, she's great. Mine, we didn't, we didn't even do a funny podcast because it was like a really slow movie and it was the Mary Kay Lip Turno case. And so it was like, yeah, let's talk about child rape. And so we actually had a

really serious two hour conversation, which is very rare for me to ever have. So. Wow. And when you heard the latest news about Mary Kay, the turnover, right? Well, the, see, the guy filed separation papers or whatever. Yeah. And they just got them thrown out, right? What happened? Oh, I don't know. just know that they they're they're getting divorced and I think was it the guardian who had a headline that said man divorces woman who raised him as a child That fucking movie it was so depressing but it was fun Having that discussion with mall so anyway, go check out that stuff and thank you to other people for having us on.

Cause you know, that helps us. Yeah, it's, yeah, I don't know. We're gonna be on more podcasts. So keep in, keep an ear out for our voices. Yeah. The dulcet sounds of our voices. So today's episode, oh, I also have to say, go listen to the bonus.

For all of the premium subscribers. Thank you so much for supporting us. Our bonuses range from just us talking shit before the show about whatever we feel like. And then sometimes we have a theme. Last week we talked about TV shows that we don't cover, like Twin Peaks and what else been? A lot. Dear white people and um, um and mommy dead and dearest. Yes, that show mommy dead and dearest. And this week we did an R-H-O-C play by play of the trailer.

So I mean, it is seen by scene until the very end. That's real house. It was a varnish county, by the way. Yeah, so go check that out. I'm sorry we're not doing that on the main show, but we did a whole hour and we're already doing enough shows. So go listen to that everybody. Yeah, so yeah, if you want to hear us,

I sec the new Real House was of Orange County trailer shot, nearly shot by shot from everything from what they're saying to the little pearls on Vicky's outfit on the Vicky Dicky, as we call it, then go listen, because we had a lot of fun, and we probably could have done a second hour, except for the fact that we're like, we gotta start recording our Southern Charm podcast.

Yeah, so here we are to do that. Welcome to Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-B I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm shot was like in the middle of the episode. Oh, that was later, you're right. I just had getting ready, but it was getting a party ready. Yeah, I probably seared into your brain because that will happen when you see those sort of shots.

But yeah, it starts with the St. Spurthay party. And Thomas is getting ready for it and putting together some tables and chairs up and getting a cake out. It's pretend to be an enormous person, a normal person. Yeah, but you know what though, it's kind of funny. Compare this birthday party, one year birthday party for St. with Monique's birthday party for her one year old child, Malani. You know, like this is, with Monique's birthday party for her one-year-old child, Malani, you know?

Like, this is an interesting study in contrast. That woman spent $30,000 to have Penningsew and everything under the sun at this ridiculous party for a one-year-old. And Thomas, this is a man whose family has a bridge in Charleston. What are they, they just put out like a few tables in the cake. But it's also the difference when the man is in charge.

Because on all these shows, you have the man like, how much is this gonna cost, baby? Yeah. And on this, he's like, is it more than $5? But he does say things like, well, with kids, the days alone, but the years are short. It's so true. I'm like, you're not running for anything and you're not going to win office. So please stop faking it.

Although he is the change we need. And by that, I mean, he's wearing blue jeans today instead of white jeans. So thank you. Thank you so much We also this we get work where we cross-cut with all sorts of stuff because you know the beginning episode of people doing things And we see Naomi giving Craig a little patic you are he's like, are you doing it right? Are you messing up my toes again? And she's like shut the fuck up. You should be so happy. I'm doing this for you in the first place Would you fucking give it up Naomi is taking it a little far Well, she's trash. She's schoolwork and Craig keeps embroidering gizmo on to every piece of fabric in the house

She's like this was my mother's wedding dress and there's a giant cat blob on it now Craig's just looking at her like I can't even paint my toenails Without getting out of that. Please don't shit on me. So Landon is pretending to do things on her computer which I'm assuming is not googling the names for any kind of business that already exists since she still doesn't know. Thank you. It's like hello, Thomas. This is Landon. Thank you for the invite to the morning. I'd love to be there for a sake, but click. Yeah. I'm going to be cleaning my hair. I'm going to be starting my car.

Landon, you've got a belt loose. Landon did you just receive a transmission from 1845? She's like a fairy like a fairy's carried machine guns. I just transitioned from her last of my life. Little tiny tinkerbell. Little Tommy, little Tommy guns. So stupid. Okay, so Catherine and Elizabeth and Liz are getting ready for the party too. And Catherine's so nervous, you can tell because she's saying, I'm so nervous. I'm like so flustered. She's deep

breath. A lot of deep breaths, a lot of deep arms happening. I'm anxious to show everybody I'm in a different place. This is the new me. You've got bigger hair and your face is contoured to look like a twig. A twig with eyes. It's the same. You literally have a triangle of non-contour in the middle of your face. Also she's telling Liz in the car. She's like, I miss being with Thomas and the kids at the same time, you know? Oh my God, I don't know why I'm making her carol.

I noticed that from New York. So I heard all that were that came from. It's it's Catherine waking up in the morning. So then we have Patricia, who is Patricia and Cam are being driven to the party by Michael and Patricia in the back seat terms to Cam is like, so what do we have in store for us aside from petting you? Is there going to be, so you're going to be a screening of a of a children's movie courtesy of

Blockbuster Vigia. It's my favorite pervade or video. I liked that she's saying petting you, but probably not expecting an actual petting zoo. She probably just looks at everybody who goes to these things like they're just animals. Like, where are we going other than a petting zoo, where the pool wandered around petting each other and convincing each other that everything's okay. It's her nickname for Snowden. Oh, is petting zoo a common?

It must be embarrassing to come to a child's party as a guest. The camera's like, I agree. Cream. She's like agreeing with the cranes. Yeah, it must be so modified to come to your party for your child. We don't even have custody. How embarrassing.

Just a guest. No custody. But it's your own child right there. How terrible for you. How terrible for a poor little girl. Am I right, everyone? Oh, I like when Patricia gets all judgmental when she's had like four husbands. Yeah. God. So Catherine Elizabeth. So Catherine and Elizabeth

show up at the at the party and it's like a moment. It's a Catherine and Thomas. Their first time, you know, seeing each other face to face for a year, it's all, you know, hello stranger. Hey, how's it going? You know, seeing each other face to face for a year. It's all, you know, hello stranger. Hey, how's it going? You know, it's like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Is she right? It's like, hello. Thomas goes, well, the mother's here.

The hell, Thomas. Oh, my. And Kinsey, meanwhile, Kinsey doesn't give a shit. Kinsey's just going over the sweet tea. It, Kinsey locks that sweet tea contraption over there. She looks, gets spigot, you open it up, pour yourself something drink and close it up. She hasn't learned about servants yet.

Have you, did you notice that there is a large poster board on an easel? Thomas is like really into poster board art. It's like he was trying to sell the idea of his kid to his dad for some more money again. Just in case dad shows up. He's like, it's a post-report art dad. It's a it's a presentation we're giving you for more money to refix, to redo the kids face or whatever. But it's a poster kid with saints face and then an American flag glued to all the corners. A real one. It's probably like I remember remember from my bar mitzvah and like everyone who everyone who's like ever had a bar mitzvah ever, they've, they've, like, usually some sort of like post a board on an easel out in the lobby of the

synagogue or the reception where it may have a picture of you. And then everyone comes up and writes something on it like, congratulations. I can't believe you're a man today. Something like that. There's always that friend who writes a dick. Yeah, mom's like crossing it out. They get a big happy face. So Thomas and Catherine have like all sorts of awkwardness

between them. They don't really know what to say. So they're complimenting each other under letters. Like, erm, thank you for the letter. Oh, thank you for your letter. I apologize for my penmanship and she's like well It was on really nice card stock It's like oh papyrus

Universal language for awkwardness between divorces. Yes, and Catherine goes um is he in the playpan? Are there animals? And the baby's just like sitting in a pile of goats. Yeah, and she's like, did you plan this party? And he's like, well, sort of. I'm like, I mean, like cut to the dress and they're angrily like chewing on a cheeto or something. Like I planned this whole fucking thing.

I'm bifous, his wife. So everybody starts arriving and JD takes Thomas aside. And he's like, Oh, Thomas. So, looks like a picture of a fixed family. It's online, the communication open. Wow. Thomas says, well, there's baby steps.

Like literally. Speaking of baby steps, Patricia shows up. She's like, whereas the padding's, I think I stepped in Goose poo. Is that kind of as a baby step when he's stepping around and pitting? She's just padding all the guts on my head. Hello, Goose.

Hello, poor people. I'm petting you now. Hello, Donkey. This Donkey just told me her last name is Snowden. Do I have to get a rabie shop before I pet Snowden? No. Okay. When Thomas tells JD, he goes, well, she complimented the paper stock and JD said, yeah,

now you can use that old trash repaper. Yeah, Thomas is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So Catherine, Cameron sees Catherine and just walks the other way. And she's brought Michael, which is so Patricia. Right. I mean, Patricia walks the other way. Yeah. I'm sorry, not Cameron.

Yeah. Patricia sees her and just goes over to T-Rab instead. Craig shows up. Craig and Naomi show up. They brought like this little Walker thing and Craig's like, it's a walker. Do you already have one? Because if you do, then we'll just take this for Gizmo as a thing of embroidery. Anyway.

It's probably already got Gizmo hair all in it. He's probably been wheelbarrowing Gizmo around in that. So SEP comes in looking like, it's like, sit. I mean, Sep is basically just looking like shit all the time now, which I guess is the point because that's his story line. So he comes in with kind of a goatee and everyone's super awkward with Catherine and Snowden's there with the baby and Catherine passes and she goes, Hi, Catherine.

She's like, she's way, she fully waves a Catherine across the way. Like, hi, over here. Here's my baby Catherine. The baby with the brain, you'll eat that. Now it's a love of work. Come on over here, the cat. No, no, okay, okay. And Catherine, this is like, hi.

And then walks off. And she says, well, you know, my son is here in a stroller. You think she'd say, here's your living, breathing sign, Jennifer's noting, but I guess I know where I stay. And now, Oh, snowden. So then don't be so desperate for Catherine's friendship. She's an uninjured 25 year old who just got a rehab Make friends with people your own age note and she's fucked with the wrong lady because Snowden acts like she's so sweet and innocent, but no she's not she's gonna be doing a lot of fucking with Catherine from this moment on I like Patricia also and Patricia also who like again is staying away from cat

And she's like I have no intention of having a conversation with her. Why should I know there are people that are hurricane and tornado trackers But I'm not one of them. I'm a money track. You know what I'm saying darling I'm like the hurricane started in your son's bedroom and you were there encouraging the hurricane So you may not track them but you fucking start them okay I have the storm I don't like track and tornadoes but I have to say I absolutely love that Helen Hunt film Twister I'm renting that 10 times from Blockbuster Vigia I almost told Uncle Joe to keep it for me I'll never forget the part where the cow was swirling in the sky. Goodbye, Donkey Snowden.

Have you ever seen anything as exciting as a million Pepsi cans flowing up into a tornado? I don't think so. I may be, I may not be a tornado tracker, but I'm a whole NATO wacker. Michael, could you please bring around the automobile man? She's like so offended. She has to have the car brought around. What a bitch. She's like, I'm not gonna stick around for this shitty cake. It's bought from a local grocery store.

I'm just gonna leave and have a bourbon sour at home with my inflatable from Ingas and my turtle bell that could be wrong from either the head or the tail of an innovation. Also I liked when Chelsea sees Katherine she's like, oh well how are you Catherine? Have you done head shot to eat? Yeah her gump accent and Catherine's like, oh, well, you know, just waiting to get younger again Also lots going on what with the birthday party You know, maybe you should go quail hunting. Oh, you know, you can go crab crab and me and Austin tomorrow Do it just like the end to do it. You know, I'm saying Catherine Do it just like the end to do it. You know what I'm saying Catherine? So the cake chef is like, Gorgeous eating the monkeys face. That's not nice.

And then guests come out and everybody's like, wow, wow. What a big step. What a big step the the couples being so nice to each other and Thomas says I feel a sense of sadness that the kids can't have both of us at the same time all the time. Really, you've probably got some fucking Jerry Springer fool hiding behind a tree ready to give a surprise drug test. I like that. I feel so bad that the kids can't have all of us all the time at all times in all time zones. Anyway, kids, have fun going back to the guest house behind my house. Which is, happens to be in mountain time. Yeah, it's like, I mean, I get that.

It does suck for the kids. It really sucks for the kids that their parents are in this terrible situation. But also, you could be doing things to be more present in the kid's life. Like, for instance, living in the same house with them. Yeah, well, hey, like, I would have a separate house from my kids. If I could, I would have kids, if I could have a separate house.

Oh, I would have a separate house from my kids too, but I just wouldn't then go going around telling people, I wish I could be there for them all the time. And be like, no, I like having the kids when I have the kids. And then the other time, you know, it's like, it's like that old fashion, super wealthy rear ring, right? Where you see the kids are raised by the nursemaids or whatever. And then they come in for the dinner parties. That's how I like my kids.

Daddy loves you. Congratulations on no longer pooping in your panty pants. And she's like, he's my party trained. You had, I don't have to see it. Well done, Saint. So then we go over to Landon and Snowden meeting up and they're they're at like happy hour or something. Yeah, that's what you give for fucking with Snowden girl. Now let you Snowden helping out. Yeah, exactly. So Landon gives

no any gift because she forgot to bring into the sip and see whatever. And they're talking about Catherine. I guess Snowden saying how Catherine was seen like she was behaving herself whatever. And then it's like, two hours of semi-decent behavior does not impress me. Reverse. So disappointment. Reverse. It's reverse. So Snowden starts in. Well Patricia was there. Yeah, it's funny you bring her up because Patricia had me over and she

suggested this like a Thomas of chance. So it does like, what, what, what, what, what? Just like, maybe someone like Thomas, but maybe not actual Tommy. Are they ever going to do a paternity test on that baby? Because that's Catherine has been a leaching that, that Thomas is the father of that baby. And I want that to be the truth. Now, that would be interesting.

And by a leaching, I mean, I read that in a comment on Facebook somewhere. So if you're going to quote somebody, hunt for that comment and do not tweet at me, because I have no idea. Yeah, that would be, that would be an interesting twist. That would be a real interesting twist. Yeah, because Snowden's like a hell no. And she says, well, I wanted to be alone to tell him

because I had to say, like, I'm not into him right now, but there was this lady there and she was drunk and Thomas has redeeming qualities. And I don't want to squal my mind. I don't want to be seen to be after him for as much. She's turning into Bobcat Goldthwaite. If you notice that. Well, at this point, this is when Snowden has to make a decision. Do I steer land into someone else's that way?

I can keep my prospects for Thomas alive? Or do I get back a Catherine by pushing land into Thomas? And the desire for revenge clearly outweighs any desire for romantic interest in Thomas. So that's when someone's like, well, well, landing, I think you should give it a try. Like, you know, you're always gonna regret something that you don't try.

You never gonna regret something that you do try unless it's drugs or unprotected sex. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I've got a baby, see how that works out. That's noten says, uh, well, if Catherine finds out, it's gonna be like a reprise of that movie, Carrie. And then she makes stab motions.

That is not Carrie's, my day. It's not Carrie at all. I don't know what it is, but it's not Carrie. It's not. Maybe fiddle attraction, stupid smoothing. Yeah. It'll be just like that because wouldn't you fall in love with Thomas? He'll be like going to prom and you're gonna be standing under a bucket of pigs, blood.

And then Catherine's gonna come in and knock it over and close everyone else in the prom room and burn them all off to death. Now here's the thing I actually do think that Catherine is capable of doing all those things but I don't think the situation is a carry situation. No. If anyone says carry and then start stabbing stupid smoting. Oh that's what you're talking about. Yeah. Oh I just thought it just didn't make sense because it wasn't taking place at a prom. And Catherine isn't the butt of like, so I'll make things fly around.

A Snowden's like, remember that movie where Carrie stout people after her mom got mad at her about? I think, no, that's not it. But that makes sense. I really could imagine Catherine at a remake of Carrie, because if anyone would look crazy with Pig's blood

poured all over it would be Catherine she would have that face. She sort of does it anyway. She sort of has invisible pig's blood on her at all times that face like the changing of the contouring. Yeah. For once her contouring looks great. And she's also a red head with freckles like you know,, Sissy space hole, Sissy space. So it's a great, it's a great vehicle to bring Piper LaRie back. Laura, why can't I say her name right? Piper Lori, you make her so fancy.

Yeah, Piper Lori, Piper Lori. Uh, we talked about Piper Lori last week on the bonus episode, everyone. Yeah, that's right. To go to the row of Piper Lori. Yeah, once you go Piper LaRie, you never go back. He I love Piper Lori. This good actress. This is a good crazy lady. Yeah, so over it. Patricia's Thomas Thomas comes over and Michael's like Mrs. Ash tol will see you in the dining room. Patricia. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. go out of my way to make a turtle doll joke. So he's like bone door of matamose eels. And she says, I take friend for seven years. And this day can order food and call young girls horrors. And that's about it. The only thing I got out of my seven year education in French was being able to sing along perfectly with Boulais Voucajavec Mois, as well. All I really know how to say in French is you did this to yourself.

You slutty little monster. Get off my property, my boy, and call the bellings. Quassant. So she's talking about the birthday. It was nicely done. At one point you and Catherine were talking and it looked amicable and civilized which is wonderful. It's always wonderful when we can reach out to the last fortunate am I right? Did she steal any silverware this time? No, no.

Does she know that the locker that Craig got her is not a new car? Something for the baby. Thomas says, well, I was taking the back. One funny thing is, this was good. As I was leaving, this is funny. As I was leaving, she was putting a bottle in my pocket And I say careful you might get pregnant

That was funny that was funny cuz it's true by the way I have to say something about that little walker thing that Craig got I don't understand it to be honest So we'll know no I know it was like a little thing that you sit in and it has a handle that you push around. Is it supposed to be for another kid to push it? Because Catherine was like pushing it and she's like, this gift is great. And she was like nearly horizontal because it only came up to like her shins and she's sitting there like push you.

I was like, that seems so ergonomically incorrect. That was just a great gift. Who knows? I mean, when it's between Craig and Catherine, it's like, who was wrong and why? No one will ever know. It was, I mean, it was a cute gift, but I don't. It's in a whole Doug on a beach somewhere. Yeah, I, I, I would like a parent to elaborate on how that toy is supposed to work. Thank you.

Thank you. That's it. So, uh, they're talking about whatever. So then, of course, it switches. Are you overcast, Rene? Are we going to get the gathering, Ann? He's like, no. And that's when she says, good.

Onward and upward, I would say, eat, drink, and remaring. So then she starts like, doing the land and thing again and you know you could be there's something to be said for friendship as a basis for romantic relationship. Yeah. Back in my day, I call me old fashioned, but men used to call on women and buy flowers and take us to the theater and sometimes we take a stroll on the prom and on and see a concerto piece and maybe if we're lucky we'd go to the zoo and look at these interesting thing new things well they play music and come out

to a big horn thing that's on top of it I loved it you were listen for sure you are older than us but you were not from like 905. Also you probably dated for like a week before you married. I mean, you've been married four times. And then you get married and you make sure that he's in the room with his base makeup when you turn on the micro wave. Maybe start all over again. What a lovely story.

So he's like, well, maybe I'll take that advice, the faint of heart, never won the fair lady. Okay. So they turned the big plan is that he's going to take landed for a walk. That's okay. But her advice was court women call on them take them places buy them flowers and build a relationship He's basically like I'm in the neighborhood a pic to flower out front want to sit on the bench like what the hell When you say build a relationship you mean get a pregnant right away, right? And then we'll have a child and then we have a new relationship we built a relationship through her uterus, right? Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up

on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasai. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of WonderZ's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Beaver,

a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon, despite both Selina and the Bea's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah.

So Cameron goes to her strength. Who basically gets paid to just sit there not because Cameron doesn't let anybody talk. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And Cameron's basically like, well, remember when I said that I was going to have a baby was a long way off. Well, the other day I was talking to a psychic and she was like, you're going to have a baby. And I thought I'm going to have a baby in the third person. Perfect on that. Well, the other day I was talking to a psychic and she was like, you're going to have a baby. And I thought, I'm going to have a baby in the third percent. Perfect on that. Well, okay. So we have a dog where we live. And I walked in the dog and my husband was sitting there and he's all quiet. And he was thinking himself, Oh, like, what if I had a kid, I could teach him my kid had a fish. And I thought to myself, I'm being so selfish,

I should give him a kid that way. He can teach him how to fish. You know, that, you know, what they say, give a kid a fish. He'll eat for a day. Teach a kid to teach a kid to fish. You're going to have to deal with a child for the rest of your life. You know what they say? Give a kid a fish. He'll eat for a day. Teach a kid to teach a kid to fish. You're going to have to deal with a child for the rest of your life. You know what I'm saying? And I also kind of made me sad because she said, you know, he would be such a good father. And I thought, who might have stopped him? I'm going to robbing a child of a good father. But she's still just doing it for him. Like, she still hasn't said once, I actually wanna have a baby.

All she's saying is I'm doing it for him, and that is the wrong reason. Although it will lead to a good future spin off where the kid hates her, and she's all resentful. And then, so she's basically decided. The lady's like, you know your own answer, I don't even know why you're here, just gonna answer to themself anyway The lady's like, you know your own answer. I don't even know why you're here.

Just gonna answer to themself anyway. So I'm like, you're right. I'm gonna give fat. And you know, that's so fun to say around the mother. Cameron. Yeah, my rather therapist is like, get the fuck out of my own office. Skinny whore.

So then we go see Austin and Chelsea. They're gonna go crabbing which is like the new thing on these other terms shows crabbing and Chelsea's like we're gonna do it the way the Indians used to do it Which I don't know what that means it means they stand in the water look for crabs and then get shot in the head Yeah, and then get colonized Yeah, and then have their lake taken over. Yeah, so they're gonna go. Yeah, okay. So they go. She's like, all right, you put a stick in here than you cast around with a net. Oh, look, you got some kelp. All right. Wow, you're like a real man right now. So long story short, they get no grabs. Yeah, Chelsea, even like up to the gump in this one, she's like,

well, here's what you got to get. It's crying. You put the chicken back on a string in the middle. Jesus Christ. Tom Hanks already got that Oscar, Chelsea. All right, real it in the crabs were like, we're not falling for this shit. Okay. Well, I guess we'll be stopping there to check fly on the wild home. Speaking of hunger, hello, fresh. You know what they want?

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And then under that, there's like a freezer pack and then blow that as long as your meats. And so the box that I got, most recently, I had some ground beef in there, I had some chicken and and I had some salmon. And I basically ate for a week off that thing. It was amazing. I was doing recipe at recipe.

And there was one point where I was planning on cooking my hello fresh thing, and then I wound up getting pulled into going out to dinner. And I was like, I need to make it tonight, because if I don't make it tonight, it's gonna go bad. And so it's like one in the morning. And I'm like, oh God, I gotta make my hello fresh tonight. And I was like, but I wanna go to sleep.

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So you guys do it. Please. Yeah, they source they source the freshest ingredients They measure the to it's measured the quantities, so there's no food waste. And it's all delivered to your doorstep in that groovy box that I mentioned. Yeah. And by the way, there was a balsamic meatloaf in mine. Oh, so good. Cool. Yeah, so go over to hellofresh.com and use the promo code Crapins30 for $30 off your

first week of deliveries, okay? That's hello fresh calm and use the promo code crap in 30 for $30 off your first week of deliveries. That is hello fresh calm promo code crap in 30. So Thomas, there's like sex. This is when Thomas is in his towel in front of the mirror putting eye cream on as sexy music plays Yes, and Yeah, he puts the stuff under his eye and and everything he's getting ready because he's getting ready for his big walk He's gonna do a big walk with land and so while he's getting ready land on the phone with her

Quote business partner trying to rename the website and I was cracking up, because Landon is like brainstorming names and she's like, uh-huh, well I was thinking about Wayfair or Orbit. I'm like, do not know that there's Wayfair.com and Orbits.com, come on now Landon. Orbit.com cracked me up, I mean that's hilarious. She's like, yeah. What if it's like velocity,

but also where you travel, like, travelosity? What about like, you know, like it's something, we're looking at a place where you travel like travelosity What about like you know like it's something we're looking at place where you want my want to go swimming, but you can't stop looking so it's like doggles I just know this farmer named McDonald No, it's like a place where like you get like you you know, like look at all these different places like you can face all these places but keep them all in like a book called like Facebook's. Only there was a place where people could like yell for help like, oh, you know. Thomas is like, I just happen to be in the neighborhood and picked a flower from

up front. He literally said I was in the neighborhood. People think we make this up when we always were saying, whatever someone showed up. I was in the neighborhood. Thomas only says, I was in the neighborhood. And he shows up with his rose and the dog starts looking as big. He helps, Sarla. And Land and land is like for the future or kids are my favorite. I'm really like white only ambers. So she's like,

I'm so sad because of that house. That house is for sales. So after move was just by it. It's a million dollars. I don't have that cash right now. Oh short to them low. So they start going on a walk with Charlotte the cat dog and they're like walking to the lake. And then they sit down on a walk with Charlotte, the cat dog, and they're like walking to the lake,

and then they sit down on a bench. Benches are like the new, I don't know what they are. Benches are the new empty restaurants. So they sit down on the bench. This is actually the scene that we saw at the very beginning of the season, and you know, Landon's talking about how she normally does, she does a lap with Charlotte around the lake,

but she normally does it alone, but it's nice to have Thomas with her. And this I guess is like her thing, because this is what she said to Drew last week, is that like Drew was the first guy who's ever gone on a walk with her in Charlotte. So now here's Thomas doing it, really pushing all her buttons. And it seems to be working. She's like, I'm usually alone. And he goes, well, I'm close.

I'll give you my code and you can just come in and we'll have a glass of wine. I'm like, I don't think that's the point So someone to just drop by your house to blow you fool she's saying it was nice that you came to her or whatever So she's like remember that drunk lady And he's like she seems so convicted of this information It's like that's you Yes, you yes you were the one who's convicted He's like, that's you. Yeah, and then you, yes, you were the one who was convicted.

Um, so then he's like, I don't know why not give it a chance. I'm gonna put some cream on to my eyes today. So, you know, I'm going to extra mile, literally the extra mocks. We can do a lap with Charlotte the cat dog, right? Merisiboku penny. And then later I was like, but then ultimately she's like, oh, well, I can't keep punishing him for Catherine. I'm like, no, it's not that you're punishing him for Catherine.

It's that you're gonna get involved with a guy who has a crazy ex who hates you, and it's gonna bring so much drama in your life. But you know, it's a guy who will walk with Charlotte, that's a compelling feature. So she's just like, sure, why not? And so a guy who will help you specifically walk your dog. That's what, that. So she's just like, sure, why not? And so they go, I will help you specifically walk your dog. That's what, that's like her dream is to have someone

help her walk her dog who's almost dead. So, you know, Landon's still really good with that whole goal setting thing. Yeah. So over at Craig and Naomi, they're driving and Craig's like, I have a surprise. She's like, oh, well that's fun. You know, I don't want to think about when Gizmo dies.

That's gonna be so sad. Yeah. Great car combo. It's like, hey, God. Oh, no, Neil, how'd you even say that about, though? Gizmo. Great. And about things changes nothing on this planet.

It's a slippery slope because then it's going to be paranoia and then I'm going to have to start dragging you. Yeah, yes, they go to the drive that McDonald's drive through and the corrects like, Gizmo loves drive thruze. And by the way, I'm surprised. I don't think I've ever seen a cat free walking around in a car. Normally they're in their little cat cars because they're crazy. But Gizmo is so chill. I love Gizmo. I love, I want to give Gizmo a big ol' hug. I want to give Giz around in a car. Normally they're in their little cat cars because they're crazy. But Gizmo is so chill.

I love Gizmo. I love Gizmo. I want to give Gizmo a big ol hug. I want to give Gizmo in my arms. I just want to hug that cat. So they go through. I'm like a dog. I'm sorry.

I like a cat who looks as stomach. I think that's so funny because most cats are like looking their butts or their ween or whatever. And Gizmo's just like looking as big belly. Yeah. So they go to McDonald's. And I love the fact that Gizmo loves the drive-through. I mean, Gizmo is essentially Garfield at this point, right?

We all admit this. Yeah. So they go to McDonald's and oh my god, that McDonald's looked so good, Ronnie. I wanted it so badly. There's a new eating their fries and they had their Oreo thing, my bobbler. And I like that he eats a quarter pounder. You know, he's so sexy Craig. How is he that skinny?

He eats a big old quarter pounder, that's so hot. He doesn't get like a little mini cheeseburger. But I don't trust Naomi and I like Naomi, but I really like Craig and it bugs me that Naomi so up his ass and it really bugs me that she's eating chicken nuggets. Those things are disgusting. They have like air bubble okay them

alright you know what this is gonna be a problem between the two of us okay first of all don't come for the chicken nuggets running do not they are totally fake and that is their appeal and the joy i accept all the air bubbles in them they're delicious delicious air bubbles second of all i'm a big i'm a big no me fan a huge no me fan i think she's great And I think she's just really exasperated with Craig. Craig is so sweet, so sweet, and so, you know, so dull sometimes, but you know what, like, you know,

he, like he has this great girl in Naomi, like a real catch. And I think she's just exasperated with him at this point. So I'm letting her have her exasperation. Yeah, I still like her. I still like her. But what about the nuggets? I mean, chicken nuggets are just wrong. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. That's a line just drawn in the same. Sorry. That's the same. I'm actually a little surprised. I have to say, Ronnie, I'm a little surprised. I would have thought that you'd have been pro chicken nuggets. No, McDonald's like the meat, I know it's fake, but it's 80% bread, you know, and I

love the actual bread at McDonald's. And then the ketchup, which they gave him like a gallon of little things of ketchup, but the ketchup is just basically sugar juice, which I also, you know, sugar and bread. That's what I like is sugar bread and salts. And that's what I've got. I's I've gotten wrong for you then nuggets. I feel like our Chickens with no beaks or eyes they're raised like in a cage and then they're put into a big fat They're like cooked and then put into a big fat and just like blended up with god knows what and then formed it These little things look like feet.

And when you bite into them, they have little air bubbles in the chicken. They're disgusting. And I can't be. Listen, Carol Radswell. Okay. You know, I understand that the chickens go through a very terrible journey to become nuggets, but I mean, hey, when sausage, we grind up, we grind up our meat parts and make sausages, we make hot dogs out of all sorts of things. I am fine with all the chicken parts and bread and cardboard. That's in my chicken McNuggets because I think they are

delicious little nuggets from heaven. However, I go to as always a big Mac. Oh, there you go. We'll see. There we go. I love the big mac too. Yeah, that's and also we can be a good couple While eating different things like they did What I like about a McNugget though the McNugget option is that if you are hungry But not hungry enough for a big Mac, but you just want like a little sum the McNuggets are really good for that Yeah, also I feel better about eating a chicken without eyes or a beak because like my friend Trish is always saying, I want to make sure the chicken was happy. Well, isn't that worse? Like you just killed a happy chicken. The eyeless, beatless one, you know, was depressed. You put it out of its misery.

I like that. I think that's a great, see, these chickens were so sad. Yeah, you know, we're just doing them a favor. You know, the free lives, they have their whole lives ahead of them. You know, what are these chickens have, Nathan? We're elevating their lives because they were miserable, but they brought happiness to people. So they're really martyrs, you know, where's a happy chicken? I don't know if we've elevated their lives. Yeah, thank you. We've degraded it. So yeah, look how we can come into a hug at the end. Wait, so I feel like this makes you pro chicken nugget now. No, you're right. You're right.

It's still really doing this a little bit of salt. The thing that grosses me out of the air bubbles. That's the thing that's the worst. Yeah, I actually like that sort of like foamy chickens. This little foamy chicken innards. I am tempted to get on post mates right now and have McDonald's delivered to my house. Don't do it with post mates, it's Uber Eats. Uber Eats now that has a partnership with McDonald's.

They do? Oh my God, it's a dollar cheaper. It's brand new and you don't get them. Oh my God, I'm in. They're advertising it on the radio and they have pictures up in McDonald's because I went to McDonald's on Saturday because I was very hungry and only in this breakfast and it was 10 o'clock. Okay. So I got myself a big Mac meal and there was a thing. Uber Eats. It's on Uber Eats. I feel like we should make a field trip to McDonald's and then we can like get some chicken

meat nuggets, put them right between us and we can like really get to the bottom of this Okay, I'm in I'm down for that. I look open a new window. That's what I say Yeah, we will we'll put it on like Right, I just opened Uber eats and McDonald's is the first thing under 30 minutes McDonald's girl I'm ordering this shit right now. Okay, you cover the rest of this shit I would order I would order right now Except for the fact that I'd make Donalds on Saturday and I don't like getting McDonalds twice a week Also, I know we're going way too off the rails here. Sorry everybody

But one of the things I hate about Uber Eats is they always have to call me They try and get me to go outside of their car to pick up my food and that is not gonna happen I'm thinking you better bring it up. That's their thing with Uber Eats is that you just go to the curb. Oh really? Yeah That's such a horrible human being. I was all mad at them. I'm doing it wrong. Well, but here's I think you're learning. Look what you've learned. You learn how to do Uber Eats and that Uber Eats can bring you McDonald's. It's almost like this is fate. You are going to have a spectacular McDonald's

feast now. Girl, I'm getting a doctor pepper to you I'll be dead by the end of this show diabetes. What are you gonna order? I'm getting a big Mac meal Okay, and also a cheeseburger fries. I'm in each use burger. Oh, I'm getting a value meal Yeah, quarter founder with some cheese filet fish and hamburger or cheeseburger a happy meal McDonald's It's equal done French burger and larger size remember that song. That's really good Hold the pickles hold the lettuce special order stone upset us all we ask is that you let us have it your way Of course Man, I memorized that song when I was a kid. Oh my god. Okay. I we have to we have to keep talking because I'm gonna binge okay So they go to the breaks new house,

they walk through with Cam, everything's great, and it was kinda me and to him, and Craig is wearing white jeans. But what's really important about this is that they bring Gizmo into the new house, that Craig just bought, and Gizmo's just walking around, just like, Gizmo did nothing, okay, but to me Gizmo did everything.

I just love watching this cat walking up and down the stairs. And I also love how the editors always, like, they edit in all these meows. So, you know, because you know that Gizmo isn't meowing, but like, Craig will be like, Gizmo, we're here, and Gizmo's like, I just, I love it. But people with allergies hated that because like, here's my rental house and it caps walking all over it. Someone's going to die in that house. I was thinking that's a bold move to bring a cat to the rental house.

Like, you know, there are people going to like, just be like wheezing now as a result of this. So anyway, so they're there with Cam and Cameron's already talking about how she wants to have a birthday trip, et cetera. You know, that sort of setting the stage for the vacation. Now the whole like Cameron and Cameron in the Craig and now we start talking about two raven land in and Cameron's like, you know what? Tom is going to have any fish in this city and he goes for old landau. And I just sort of thought it was like hilariously degrading to land and to call her both a fish and just old land. Oh, like a like a like a carpet. Or she looked discussed.

And Dalation. She looked discussed it and said she's going to vomit. I mean, what the hell? Any fish in this big old Tarles to see. I mean, what the hell? Any fish in this big old Tarles and sea stuck with old land? Or would it have one of Chelsea's chicken backs out there on the stick? I mean, how the hell did that happen? Anyone of them, there's so many fish fillets in this. Oh, yeah, there we go. McDonald's and then Chelsea, uh, landing and Cameron were friends. They are actually don't think that Cameron was intentionally trying to be nasty, but it just sounded super mean.

Yeah, hopefully she was referring to just the infucking in the group because that seems kind of a worthy. And you know that Landon's like, I have to have a girl. She's bigger happy. So then I'll just... Can I please no order an unhappy meal? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa now I don't have a mcdlT or see and Charlotte what about mcpza no so

so break up Donald's what a chef got a Chelsea said he was he does the neighborhood see that's what he said I'm I'm not lying he walks he's like well I was in the neighborhood and then he just stays there and goes I'm not lying. He walks, he's like, well, I was in the neighborhood.

And then he just stays there and goes into her pantry and just starts taking stuff out. Yeah. And then, well, yeah. And then they're like, hanging out. And he starts talking about how he's gonna meet up with Cameron the next day because he's gonna look at a house. He's like, gosh, I need a new house. I need to change my lifestyle too much partying. I need a recalibration. Gosh. It's just like, so you can leave your house. You can move to a house by the beach. How's that going to fix it?

They think, gosh, it just will. I'm like, no, I'm with her. I don't know how moving houses can change anything. It's not like the house. Maybe I'll be tempted to be a one woman guy, gosh. This whole thing, first of all, what do you think of Chelsea's behavior? Because she's saying, like, well, I don't like to, you

know, just stick with one person. She does though, because she's obviously awkward whenever a chef is hinting at her or asking about Austin, she's feeling weird about it. And I'm confused as to why she doesn't just say, yeah, I'm dating him, like leave it alone. Why do you need to ask? I agree. I'm confused by her. And I don't think that she's being manipulative. I think that she's not really honest with herself. Because I actually do think, and you know, I'm always low to say, oh, she's leading him on. It's not her fault. It's his fault. But in this case, he's like, so where do you stand? And she's like,

oh, you know, we hang out here and there. She downplays it a lot where this guy actually is doing what Patricia said Thomas should do, which is that he's calling on a lady, you know, not really bringing a road. She's eating all her food, eating all her food, which is very nice of a man to do for a woman. He's like, gosh, I want you to be in the best shape possible, gosh, but like, no, but honestly, she is downplaying it. And, you know, this is a guy who sort of had some sort of amorous intention or at least did at one point.

So, you know, it's, I don't totally blame Shep for getting a mixed signal on that front. And I do agree with you that even though she doesn't have to say oh we're in a serious relationship she can be like yeah I'm currently I'm pretty exclusive with him but at the same time she does say that she does say I'm not hanging out with anyone else. Yeah but she says well I'm not hanging out with anyone else but you know if there's chicken in that starts to happen I'm out and like, Whoa, you're like a unicorn. How did I miss out on that? She's not saying she wants to be with someone that's constantly going out and getting wasted and fucking 20 year old.

So yeah, well, because she's saying, I mean, she's saying she doesn't want, she doesn't want to be suffocated by a guy. She doesn't want anything too serious. She just wants to be like, when we hang out out we hang out and it's super fun But like there's no sort of like relationship obligations beyond that But but by the same time though She is when he's like gosh, you know, I snoozed and I lost what was I thinking? I guess it's just sort of smooch gin, you know, I guess we smooch and that's it and she's like yeah Well, you made me feel like all the other sort of hose Yeah, I like that she said that she's well, it did make me feel like I was just some late-not-round of the after-way-some-moot.

Well, it's interesting. So here's where I got confused because I think I totally, you know, of course she felt that way because, you know, he does have like a, you know, a little black book that's like bulging at the seams with with new entries. And but the same time she's saying, I like something super casual where no one's really checking in on me. And then she's like, yeah, we smooched and then I had to wait for you to get back from a wedding. And I wasn't cool with that. It made me feel shitty. So it almost sounds like he did do what she says that she likes, which makes you think that even though she says that's what she likes, it might not be what she likes.

I'm thinking she's probably just been hurt by a lot of guys. And so she's trying to be cool so that they don't think she's some needy thing and she's making an effort to not be needy. Right. But, you know, she's probably just waiting for a guy to say, will you be my girlfriend? You know what it is? She wants someone who's into her, but isn't oppressive and she was not oppressive,

but he didn't really show that he was into her. Yeah. She just treated her like a hook up, not like Austin, who's like, yeah, I'm into you, but I'll like play it cool, even though Austin wants her color like every day. I just, someone who says words like some moot, stew, in that way, like still is innocent at heart, you know? They're awesome ones are called are like every day. I just someone who says words like some mood

That way like still is innocent at heart, you know Yeah, it's interesting. It's just what an interesting multifaceted lady she is So the next one is a shitty little house Cameron goes to look at this shit house and There's like has a mistake because this must be Craig's house the the other house must be chefs because I don't understand how this is happening. And there is a sign out front that says, will sell your house for $2,500. I'm like, they should work on that wording because it doesn't, who wants to do that? You know, like, yeah, that sounds like the city's company ever. It's like a landed company, you know, yeah So yeah, she's trying to show this house to Shep and he's not showing up. Yeah, he's MIA. It's 11 13 a.m She calls

He's not answering I mean this place is a shithole and there's like some crazy dogs out in the back I can't tell if they're like dogman pinchers or one of those giant big poodles that I hate But either way, you know, I hate poodles. They're my least favorite breeds. I'm sorry, everyone. I know there are poodle lovers out there who discuss this. I love poodles. Oh, my chicken nuggets. I love poodles because they're so beautiful and they're so fruit and they're such assholes. I actually do not think they're beautiful. I don't think they look good. Well, they're just their groomed. You know, they're so groomed and they have like this, I don't know. On their top of their head.

Yeah, they're just groomed to be these pretty dogs. And they're just. And they're so smart. They're just. They're. Shut up. They're. I don't care if they're smart.

They're assholes. Just like you said, they are full on assholes. I've never met a poodle that is just chill. Okay. Yeah, you have to get a really fat to chill. I used to have a poodle when I was a kid and we had to really get that fucker fat before it would even stop biting us, you know? I'm open to a fat poodle, okay?

But like, that's all I needed. Yeah, you know, I just, I don't care if a dog is smart. Actually, the smarter the dog, the worse the dog is generally. Yeah, but they know how to get up on the kitchen counter and get into food it's like well it's like the person you know once someone studies what's someone's too smart they can outsmart you once they study too much psychology they can manipulate you it's like you can't win you know sometimes it's better to be with a dumb one who will you know bring home half the rent jack this this is what we need in life. Sad chickens and stupid dogs. That's what we need. Sad chickens and stupid dogs. We're learning a lot about the animals,

the things that we like that we value in an animal. Okay. So this is basically Cameron just, you know, worrying about chef and he doesn't show up so she drives all the way to his house and she goes in. And the music, by the way, it's already interrupt, but the music is so tense. It's, you would have thought that she was gonna show up to chef's house and he was strung up like that one person in seven, you know, like tie up to a bed

and rotting for 10 days. Yeah, like just a swap guy, yeah. It's like, it's like, you would have thought the worst thing would have happened. So she walks in, she doors open, there are beer cans everywhere, and guess what? Shep's sleeping in bed. Shep is sleeping. Is it the climax to a moment?

Shep is sleeping? Yeah, soccer, and she's doing her mom thing, but she's going, Shep, Shepie, Shep. When she finds him, she's like, now, it's one one. I went to the house. I waited. I called. Sam.

This is the lowest point. I've ever seen. I'm like, he's sleeping to one. How is this the lowest point you've ever seen. Shop. We saw him at a lower point on Southern terms of Anna. Then he's ever been here. We saw him at a lower point on Southern Charms Savannah than he's ever been here.

We've seen him in LA at a lower point than he's ever been here. Yeah. He's wearing the same burgundy shirt. This is a low point. She's like, it looks like there was a front party downstairs. And he said, well, yeah, the staff from the Commodore comes over after work. And I think he still have like a little Coke in his room. If you look at it closely, I'm not even kidding. And she's like, you just have to say no. And he's like, what, I'm usually functional.

And he's like, what happened is, what happened here is why I'm leaving here. I'm like, Chef, you realize people have cars. They will come to your new house also. There's Uber. Oh, good. So she says, I was worried. I just wanted to make sure you're not robbed or dead. And he goes, well, I'm not dead. I haven't been downstairs yet. But could you make sure there's still that half a block of cheddar in the fridge. Garth.

Well, that brings us to the end of Southern. Jill, everybody, this show is so fun. I hope you guys have made your mind up about chicken nuggets and poodles. Okay. Yes. Very important. That's these weigh in. These weigh in. I know I'm taking on popular stances, but that's okay.

I'm a renegade. Yeah, guys, it's called controversy. Yeah, everybody, thank you so much. Go over to Patreon, check us out. The bonus episode's super fun. And we will be back tomorrow with a little bull o' dick meat. Sounds great. Bye, everybody.

Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. you