Watch What Crappens - #473 BelowDeckMed: Oh Stewardess, I Speak Chive

Episode Date: June 7, 2017

Warning: this episode may contain onions. Chef Adam goes rogue when the guests demand no onions. And then he calls Hannah a slut. Or was it the chive? Either way, it's a rough episode for ...the van man, but at least Malia's wearing his hat! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who crap is
Starting point is 00:00:31 Who crap is Who crap is Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much Who crap is Who crap is Kids what happens when they're so happy? Kids what happens when they're so happy? Kids what happens when they're so happy? To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air,
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Starting point is 00:01:27 wonderful, the hilarious, the onion lovin' Ronnie Karem from trashshockTV.com and the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast. What's up Ronnie? Well hello BenJume. How are you doing? So good. How's it going over there? It's going well. I have a, not my, my ice-thal-glass-a-coffee, iced coffee, and I'm like ready to tear into it, tear into Blow Deck Med. But I also want to say that we have revamped our WatcherCrapins website. So go take a look at it because you might find something there that you like. So that's WatcherCrapcom. And for your viewing pleasure. Yes, everybody. It looks so good, Ben.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Little Easter eggs all over there for you all. Little Easter eggs. Go look through. So why don't we start talking about some below deck, man, shall we? Yeah, let's just jump into below deck. Let's just jump in with Wild Abandon, right? Huge episode.
Starting point is 00:02:24 I like that they, the previous for this episode were like four out of five countries, use onions in their base. So this so. Yeah. It's the great onion episode of Low Deck Med. Finally at last. Shallots, be they shallots or scallions or chives. Even their onions.
Starting point is 00:02:50 Yeah, even their previously are so below deck med. It's like previously, for your main course, you have a sea bass and everyone's like, whoa. Oh. Really knocked the socks off of the naked news crew there, huh? Hi, I'm a naked news lady and today we have seabulls. Mine, what is it? Seabass. Okay, let's do it again.
Starting point is 00:03:18 So we start off the episode literally where we left off with Adam and Melia kissing in the corner Because they're all drunk. They've had a night out. They're kissing in the corner while bugs is simultaneously telling whiz You know, I think that you and you and me and Melia have a great future. I don't think it's something that's gonna turn sour quickly I think it's a good thing. You seem to get along so well. And it's like yes, but this is the first time I've ever gone against rules. I've never done this. I'm going to be a rebel. What daddy say?
Starting point is 00:03:53 I remember one time when I was a little kid, we all rented a- we rented Ghostbusters and when I was over, I was like, be coined, rewind, and my friends like, no, let's be crazy, let's not rewind. And so we didn't rewind, but what I never told my friends that behind their backs. I rewound it Okay, go through life being unkind By the way, are you seeing at least a van der pump in his face now now that I've said it? Yes, no I can't stop seeing I cannot stop seeing her face West has a van der pump face I cannot stop seeing her face. She's like, I should go and he's like, too late, baby. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Way to make it less raping. She's a full-snaz right. Huh? You stupid slut. I'm talking about myself. She's like, I'm caught. She's like, I've got to go and goes, I'll be thinking of you. I'll be thinking of you and not our guest specific requests.
Starting point is 00:04:56 So and then bugs is still giving Wes advice and want to do it, Malia and what to do with this heart. And Adam is just like walking behind the background. He's just come from kissing her. It's so awkward. And everyone's wasted. And Max is shirtless. God knows what he's saying. I don't know what the hell he's talking about. He's like when he's when he's sober and now he's drunk running around shirtless and Malia goes through and he comes through while he's hanging out with Lauren and he goes, Hey, you're like eighth legend. The Joker. Not even trying to hide it. Come on, Heath Ledger. Come on.
Starting point is 00:05:30 That wouldn't be the only battle. What does that mean? The Joker is like a terrorist in that movie. What the hell is that? Maybe it's because her lips were red and smudged. Oh, thank you. But I only got that now when you said it when I was watching. That is so simple. How did I not know? Oh, thank you. But I only got that now when you said it. When I was watching it, I was like, I have no idea what's happening.
Starting point is 00:05:45 That is so simple. How did I not know? Because the next segment is all about her lipstick being smeared. Yeah. And then Bobby, of course, this is his reaction to everything he goes, oh, I guess in his shot, I had his gone. The little alien mouth receipts into his big mouth. So Laura's like, Lauren runs to Hannah and she's like, oh my god, Hannah, Moliath, let's
Starting point is 00:06:11 take all of her face. And Moliah here goes, really, Lauren? Really? Really? She's like, I don't want gossip to exist, okay? So she goes up to Lauren who's wasted in her bunk with a beer. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:27 And she's like, Hannah, Lauren, if you have something to say to me, you can say it to my face. And she goes, why? Okay, now what did you do with those guys? What did you do with them? She goes, a lady never tells. And Lauren's like, I'm with you. Half five. She goes, I like that respect. And the leader's like, no, she's like, okay,
Starting point is 00:06:50 Angie runs her hair. I come through her hair. I like that. Malia says a lady never tells on the heels of her 20 minutes ago, telling everyone, guys, West just kissed me. So now Malia, Malia, she never tells about the second one in a row. Maybe she just didn't get the finish or sentence. A lady never tells when she shamefully kisses a guy who lives in a van.
Starting point is 00:07:16 That's why she doesn't tell. She's like, I just kissed a guy who lives in a van. I'm gonna try to keep this under wraps as long as possible. Ah, shit, it's out. So now Malia is being a bitch to Lauren for talking to Hannah. gonna try to keep this under wraps as long as possible. Ah, shit, it's out. So now Malia's being a bitch to Lauren for talking to Hannah. And she's like, listen man, she's like, you know, like when you gossip people, we're gonna get off on the wrong side of the bed.
Starting point is 00:07:36 I was like, okay, wrong foot, wrong bed, whatever. There's only one side, those beds are so tiny. Yeah, I know, it's like, like you can't even get out of the wrong side of the bed. Like there's only one size and one exit. So then Lauren, who like moments ago, was like, yeah, I like that girl power. It goes, well, if you don't and want anyone to know,
Starting point is 00:07:54 just take off your makeup in your own room. Yeah, she's like, now the hope comes out and calls me passive aggressive. And then she's telling her, if you don't want anyone to know, maybe wipe off your lipstick before you make out with everybody on the bout, and then you just like say it again.
Starting point is 00:08:10 If you don't worry, girl, they're both yours. You can have them. If you don't want people to know, why don't you take off your invisible veil, slidiness behind closed doors, okay? And then Lauren starts running around the boat with red lipstick going, ooh, I got red lipstick the boat with red lipstick going oh
Starting point is 00:08:32 No, no, no, because Lauren you can Lauren found Adam with Lauren goes up to Adam and Adam has like the red lipstick So smeared on his face because it's like Malia spit and so Lauren's like you have red lipstick on your face. You have a Oh my god, Malia. I found I found the red lipstick. I found the red lipstick I found the red lipstick. I found the red lipstick. I'm so glad you're clarifying. It was not only that this was a dumb night for me. There's so much going on on this show. I never know what I'm supposed to be writing it down. So I'm writing down everything. And sometimes I don't know. I just wrote Lauren running around saying red lipstick. Oh, you know, so I was like How would you saw it on Adam? So she put the pieces together She's you know like Sherlock Holmes down there and so that now that she's going on being like, oh my god
Starting point is 00:09:13 I found the red lipstick. Namalia's mad even more. So they like have a confrontation about you know Loan going around talking about the lipstick and the making out and then Lauren goes well now the whole crew knows and That's your problem, not mine. It's like, it's not a problem. She's like, it's kind of an issue because it's gonna be drama. Yeah, she's like, you better pick one because it's gonna be drama.
Starting point is 00:09:36 And she goes, by the way, I don't want either one of them. And Malia says, well, I'm not asking your permission. And she goes, well, look, all I'm saying is that you need to say it to my face. Okay. Lauren and Lauren goes, I would have, but you weren't there when I said it. So then somehow she's winds up storming on me. I mean, like, it's my, it's all my fault again. I'm stealing this for whenever someone says, stop talking behind my back. I'll say I would have said it to your face, but you weren't there.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Yeah. So then Malia storms in, like, it's now Wes is still having a moment with bugs up in that living room area. And Malia comes by and is like, well, guess what? Wes, you and Adam both kiss me tonight. And it was like, you know, it felt like a really bad off-Broadway play where all the secrets come out, but no one really cares.
Starting point is 00:10:26 I know. Malia doesn't even wait for an act to break. She's like, guess what, everyone? A kiss? Wes and Adam tonight, okay? Everybody happy. It's like, wait, this needs to last three hours. We charged people $150 to see for this. Okay, Malia. When you watch her scene, do a rewrite on this, please.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Thank you. So Hannah is like, what's going on? And Lauren's like, well, how that Malia tells us, go on Malia. And so she, you know, passes up and then West is like, yeah, I really like Malia. And I've never done this before, broken the rules like this. And we had a very special moment. But now that I see this special moment was had with someone else right up after, it makes me feel bad. I broke the rules for the first time, ever. Yeah, because I get he goes home, he goes into his top bunk with Adam on the bottom to
Starting point is 00:11:17 like cry and like maybe touch himself sadly. And meanwhile, Lauren and Malia are still bickering and Lauren's like, maybe you don't know standards, but you don't make out the two guys sharing a bunk. It's just not a good look. Yeah. Well, why don't you blame the guys? How about you blame the guys for making out with the same girl? I know yachts. Okay. But this is your first yacht. So here's the standards. Like, oh, you're not, you're not, you're only supposed to not make out with two people who know each other when you're on a yacht. Otherwise, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:11:47 I have the new little yachty CD, so like, I think I have nothing out of that yachts and like, I have standards. So like, it's your problem, not mine, but it's all my fault. So like, whatever. It's this huge drunken drama and every time they're having a confrontation, it's in a different part of the boat. It's like it just keeps going all night, you know. And then they cut to Max and Bobby's room and Bobby's just lying there in bed waiting
Starting point is 00:12:13 for someone to see what he thinks. And Max is asleep, I guess like a bottle of aspirin or something. And like start snoring and just drops it on Bobby's head. Lops his hand over until like a shelf or whatever. The thing falls and Bobby just just laughs. And I was like, this is what I love about this show too. They find this random shit. Like who even knew that that like that existed? Who was watching the late night footage
Starting point is 00:12:36 of Max and Bobby and saw that, you know? That's what they do. Remember last year we used to get like a meal. It was like a meals boner. Oh, a meal's jerking off because they think no one can see him in night vision. A meal looks a lot like my friend Diana. Don't start with me. Stop making me see other people in these people. I'm already seeing Lisa Vanderpump.
Starting point is 00:12:59 This is like that. It's like Japanese businesses in like two faces to every person. I don't even know if that's a thing. I could be just promoting a totally incorrect mysticism, but I'm going to go with it. So anyway, next morning, Bugsy brings water to Lauren's like lying in the... She wanted to see be like one of the master bedrooms or something like that because she didn't want to be in the same room with Malia. And so this is when Bugsy finds out about all the shit that happened and about Adam Making out Malia and you know did Wiznow did Wiznow did Wiznow the Malia man I did Wiznow but now bugsy because I feel awful because I was encouraging Wiz of it awful right now It's my fault. He's going for it. I told him go for it and I said no
Starting point is 00:13:44 It's like the time we went to see a PG 13 movie when he was 12 and he had to leave. I can't believe I've made him feel that way again. Always count on bugs more like always. Don't count on bugs. So less and Adam see each other and West is like, I just thought you should know we both kids the same girl last night And he's like oh really really Come on now me while captain Sandy is making yourself a little breakfast taco A little breakfast taco because I'm well rested. It's got some eggs and bacon and a little taco
Starting point is 00:14:21 I'm just gonna enjoy it right here and Lauren's like, Captain Sandy, you were missed, you were missed. Oh yeah, did you guys have fun? It looks like he got some rest so that's good, good job guys. And she's like, well yeah, we just wanted you to know. Okay, Evan walks out. That's how to plan. By the way, oh wait, I do have to say this though. Lauren is kind of funny because someone tweeted at us and was like, you know what, I, Lauren. By the way, oh wait, I do have to say this though. Lauren is kind of funny because someone tweeted at us and was like, you know what, I hate Lauren. She's just such a drama queen.
Starting point is 00:14:50 And I think she's tweeted at only us. And I think she read it and she replied back with like a bunch of crowd emojis. And she's like, okay, nevermind. I thought it was like, but I actually thought it was a really good way of handling that. You know, I mean, because it wasn't like a trolling by the person or by Lauren, but I was like, you know what, she has a sense of humor. I was like, you know, good for you, Lauren.
Starting point is 00:15:13 You have a good sense of emoji humor. She was like, hey, Captain, did your breakfast taco taste like Glipp stick? Malia's dead. Okay, I can go on. You just don't do that, Captain. You don't put bacon and eggs in the same taco. Otherwise, you can have drama. I don't know. I mean, maybe I just have standards, whatever.
Starting point is 00:15:30 It's all my fault. So, and Malia says, oh my God. Uh, I feel like I made out with my boss at a Christmas party in his roommate. I'm like, you did. That's why you feel like that. Cause that's exactly what she did. Oh, and so they show Adam in the mean time. I'm like, you did. That's why you feel like that because that's exactly what she did.
Starting point is 00:15:52 And so they show Adam in the meantime, there's like drama music playing, like literally nothing dramatic is happening. There's dramatic music. And they show the chef looking all shifty as Van livers often do. He's all shifty in the laundry room like, and I rewind three times to see what he was getting. It was a towel. It was a towel. Okay. It's true. On the deck, Bobby's giving everyone shit. He's like, what would I miss? It's like nothing. We all went to bed. He's like, oh, not what I heard. And Steph Adams, like, come on guys that's group hug And then like Adam was and Emily I have a group hug Which is the only is my felt bad is because you can tell Wes is like falling in love with Melia So you know he's like yeah, I'll play it off. I'll play it off as a cool. I'm like who's a cute came back
Starting point is 00:16:38 You know, I just broke a woods all right, but you've been corrupted by love. I don't know if I get it to go back But it's okay. I'll just lay it off. So it's forbidden love. Who am I not to get upset? It's forbidden love. Rules are made for a reason. You know, there's a reason why I still haven't tried for being in chocolate. It's forbidden.
Starting point is 00:16:57 There's a reason I'll never go on that banana. Mom and dad said, no banana. I'll never go to Beijing Beijing because it's the forbidden city I like I like that Malia's response to all this he goes well Lisa didn't make out with Bobby They got to Bobby be like oh So it's time for the client meeting All right guys everyone come up to the the captain's place They cut the Bobby be like, well, well, so it's time for the client meeting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:26 All right, guys, everyone come up to the captain's place. Now, today's guests are Amber and Kim Nabatini. Which I love that name because it always makes me think of election because the woman who lives next to her in election is named Linda Navatini, I think. And so I think it's like the like the most perfect Midwest name. So when they say Amber and Ken Navatinny are coming on board, I just just feel so perfectly. But Western to me, it makes me feel it makes it reminds me of botany. Bony?
Starting point is 00:17:56 Yeah, it's like a dyslexic person spelling botany. Mm. The bat. That too. It could be that too. Which is basically me. I mean, the thing is that there's so many layers to what's going on with these people. You know, it's just the beginning right here. All we do know is listen, don't run out of vodka because they love drinking their vodka and on top of that. Oh, I know them from last season.
Starting point is 00:18:19 What an honor. It's an honor when guests return and then it's a clip of the guy going Hey, yeah Guess what rattlesnakes and condoms having common their things I don't deal with I forgot about that I somehow missed that flashback and I forgot about that moment I was like they're the they're the couple with the infamous hot tub threesome. I hope this year they step it up and have an orgy I hope this year they step it up and have an ulti So they request that they request a lot of vodka and they want to do a water toys Opsilic horse and I don't know maybe I'm crazy, but the combination of don't run out of vodka and water toys Opsilic horse just sounds like a recipe for drowning
Starting point is 00:18:59 Yeah, and a lot of peeing in the ocean. Yeah, a lot of all the starfish better clear out because that is not going to be a good habitat for you. Yeah, so their request sheet was only that and then for a guest have written no onions. Don't, don't, don't. For a guest have written no onions. Yeah, it's okay. Now, here's the thing. I actually, I get the no onion thing.
Starting point is 00:19:24 I have a friend who does not eat onions, etc. and there are people who are allergic to onions or whatever. So I get that and I think that's actually a more reasonable request than some of the other things that people request. Like I only eat raw, I'll love this or that. You know, like, you know, those are like, you know, no onions, I get it and I accept it. Now of course, I famously have, there's a garlic issue that I once voiced, where I have a friend who doesn't have a garlic. It's when you're the chef, it's annoying
Starting point is 00:19:51 because you have to work around it, but I don't think it's unreasonable. Well, a dinner party is one thing. A yacht that you're paying, a luxury yacht that you're paying up the ass for is totally different. Yeah. Of course, he's supposed to do it. And it's easy to be replaced.
Starting point is 00:20:04 You don't get to just say when you don't feel like doing it or their assholes, so you're not gonna do it. And also, by the way, if the onion thing is an issue of like, if it's an allergy, then obviously no onions. But obviously, we all know onions are used as the base of flavorings for a lot of things, but they sort of, you know, they're like in soups or whatever they get purated, they get lost in the mix.
Starting point is 00:20:24 And that's probably fine. I think they probably just don't want like visible onions, right? They don't want to see the onions. They don't want onions. You don't make onions. Make them a steak and a potato. And then the next night a chicken and some green beans like what do you speak of truth? You know what you speak the truth so hard, you know, it's called like, it's like, yes, some fish with like lemon and, you know, yeah, people are paying them the acid. I mean, just because I've worked in a restaurant for forever. So if they don't want any, it's just give them something else. They know that they're going to have like plain food. Yeah, they know they're not going to get like rat
Starting point is 00:21:02 tattoo. What would he end up making them? I guess we'll get to that later, but he made them something that is like Okay, ingredients onions onions onions and onions with They didn't powder and onion pearl onions. Do they I mean do they request this is jumping ahead of the But do they make a specific request for like a southern dinner? I don't I don't remember hearing that But maybe no you're doing it because they're like country, you know? Because they had like a whole series. They had like a sort of like a Louisiana thing going on because they had like the purple sort of marty-grot tablespoon.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Anyway, we'll get to that. But yes, it's not compared to the other dietary requests. I don't think no onions is the worst thing in the world. At least it wasn't like this person can eat fish and this person has to be raw and this person is gluten free and this person is vegan. It's just four people don't want onions. Yeah, so give him a salad without onions, some balsamic vinegar, and a steak, and a potato. Why don't we have to eat you everything?
Starting point is 00:21:56 You know what? Lobster tail. Exactly. With like a slaw. Yeah, he's like so last week he's so excited to just be able to make a fish. And this week he's like, make just a fish. He's just an asshole control freak. So Max, down on the bed, down on the bed, down on the deck, Max is talking about the little triangle. And Bobby's like, I wonder who's next in line, Moli.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Oh, she's like, well, that's a shitty thing to say. And he's like, well, I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little jealous because I looked at her first. Bobby, you just, you can't make those jokes when we're still, you know, basking in the glory of Wonder Woman. Okay, this is not the time for that. All right.
Starting point is 00:22:44 He's like, well, I didn't try and like date rapy kiss somebody, so I like that that's his like darn, I should have date rapy kiss somebody, then I would have been second in line, then someone else would have been third. She was asking for it. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
Starting point is 00:23:44 How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So just stop, just stop, don't slut shame your co-workers. Don't slut your people in general, okay? She's allowed to kiss two guys because to be fair, she, Wes kind of, like she wasn't into the Wes kiss, okay?
Starting point is 00:24:16 Wes kind of went at her with an ingress. So did Adam. Yeah. He had her cornered in a goddamn corner of a yacht. Like what was she gonna do well I was actually proud of her for not coming you know because everybody changes her in the morning And I was proud of her being like yeah, I made out with two dudes I don't know any of it anybody in apology good for you girl. Yeah, she doesn't know anyone in apology
Starting point is 00:24:37 She's allowed to make it with whoever she wants. I don't know if she was into that the Adam one or not It's where people like she was but um The point is this it's not like to say getting in line, it's, that's shitty. It's shitty, of course, it's fucking Bobby. Yeah. Even when he's trying to be shitty, I mean, trying to be charming he's shitty.
Starting point is 00:24:55 Yeah. So the slide, the trampoline. Oh yeah. Okay, we're gonna get out these stories of rested for a while under the yacht and we're gonna pull them all out. West is like, the sloit is my krypton like it's heavy it takes up space and play all the rules of gravity be playing it you put it in what it won't float
Starting point is 00:25:15 until it's blown up gravity is not like in that one the number the number one rule of yading is don't jump over board and here comes the slide that says come on jump over board what am I supposed the slide that says, come on, jump over board. What am I supposed to do? It breaks the rules. So then everyone's sober now, obviously. So Lauren comes up to Malia and she's like, Malia, can I get a hug?
Starting point is 00:25:36 Hugs, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. And she's like, well, you know, look, I got defensive because I'm just not that type of girl. And she's like, look, I got defensive because I'm just not that type of girl and she's like, look, Everyone's had those nights. You drink too much. You say things you don't mean. You make out with everybody that passes you on the boat You reveal the inner slut that we always knew you would be we all have those nights It's okay. You lose your perspective all your coworkers. It happens. You start a sex for sale business on eBay and code words, you know, like typical normal Friday night
Starting point is 00:26:13 Sometimes you know you just have to call it when you see it like for instance when I saw that musical guys and dolls and Adelaide said I'm just a girl who can't say no. You know what I did? I yelled at from the audience. Slut! It felt great. I mean, I got kicked out, but to be fair, I didn't do it until she danced with the second guy. Listen, if you're gonna date a gangster, you have to know where you're gonna get involved with, okay? It's not my fault, not my problem. So in the, uh, in the boat, they're watching everybody laugh outside and Hannah's telling Chef Adam, you know, I feel bad for ways. He's been doing this for a long time. It's the first time he's ever hooked up with someone on a yacht. And he's like, um, Adam's basically just getting
Starting point is 00:26:58 pissed. And he's like, yeah, well, he's got good taste. Yeah. Something like that. And he's like, well, he pisses like, yeah, he's saying stuff like that. Sorry, you do it, because I forgot the detail. Because essentially it was something like, he was like, yeah, well, she's mine, essentially. And then he's like, she's hot, of course you like, sir. And she says, well, it's more than that for him, honey. And he's like, well, what do you want me to find him another chick to make out with?
Starting point is 00:27:27 Because I can find him another chick. That's right. And she goes, oh, instead of giving the one back that he found, yeah, she basis like, like, he, he was interested in her first. So he gets keeper. And then, but then, which is also not totally rational, you know, it's they, they're acting as, again, like Malia's a pool rational, you know, they're acting as, again, like Malia's a pool noodle, you know?
Starting point is 00:27:47 It should be just more like, actually Malia should choose who she likes, okay? Yeah, I hate when you're at a bar, like with your friends and someone says, that guy's cute, and you're like, oh my God, that guy's cute. I saw him first. So what?
Starting point is 00:28:00 We're in a bar. Okay, I'm gonna walk in and just look at everybody and say they're all cute. So you can't hook up with anybody tonight. You fucking asshole. You're shopping it. Yeah, I have a friend who does that all the time. It's like you saw them first.
Starting point is 00:28:11 Don't they have to like you? Like you have to make an effort. You can't just stand here and then tell everybody else no because you saw them first. Yeah, well either way Adam, when Hannah's like, well why don't you give Beck what, what, what we've got first? And then Adam's like, uh, she's mine.
Starting point is 00:28:26 I like it. Yeah, I'm sticking my claim. I'm sticking my claim on that one. And then the best part of this is like, yeah, not going to happen. Sticking my claim and he's walking with the trash bag on his back. Full. So now he's getting trash juice all over his back who takes out the trash like that of your chef, especially. Now, there is, there is something sexy about a man who's like, I'm singling you out,
Starting point is 00:28:55 you're going to be mine. You know, there's, there is that manly thing about it, but there's also, it's not the most option. Well, if I'm in a bar, someone zeros me out and it's like, I'm going to make you mine. That's flattering. When you're a Malia, the hottest girl in the bar and everybody's doing that, that's how guys are. They're predatory and they're aggressive, you know, and like you don't get to just pick your bone. You fucking man. Like what year is this?
Starting point is 00:29:20 I mean, there's something to be there's a way to do it where it comes off as chalurus and manly and sexy. And there's a way when you do it Which just makes someone feel like an object that's just being tossed around a chew toy, you know and Adam sort of does the ladder with his trash bag Leaking juice on his back and meanwhile West is like well, you know, you know, it's a choice She'll choose what she wants to do. I'm like, oh, Wes is so sweet with his vaner pump face. Yeah, especially that he said, it sucks, and it hurts, but it's her decision. It's like, oh, rules and bugs.
Starting point is 00:29:53 He's like, this is my fault. And he goes, well, there's rules for reasons. Oh, Wes, he does, he literally says that. There's rules for reasons and reasons for rules, you know what I'm saying? So So the guest from our list of this, but house side kicks talk Bianca while she texts in front of them, germane wearing an orange jumpsuit. Emily, I want to know who it is at this juncture. I skipped into invite only note. Oh, I'm so confused. I was like, why are we going to invite only Cabo to the yacht make a left turn? Okay, hold on. Thank play only did it for a couple of scenes. Okay, so now I guess line up right to the guests arrive. I'll be like, I love these guys. They're awesome
Starting point is 00:30:39 And country music playing it's like music playing. It's like, then an an an an an an an an an arrested from last night. And I like to reward people who get their nap times in. So you know what? I wanna have you take the boat out of the dock. Do you wanna do that? Oh, it's wonderful. I'm excited, I'd love to do that. This is a great ulna.
Starting point is 00:31:19 And he's all excited, because he's gonna get to take the boat, take the yacht out of the dock. And then Sandy's like, he thinks it's exciting, but it's really, it's a little selfish on my part. I'm like a little sneaky brand Zeno, because I want him to see how tricky it is to take a dock, take a boat out of the dock, and then he'll know not to let that stern line in that goddamn water again, you know what I'm saying? If he can see it, then he's gonna know not to let that fucking thing in the water.
Starting point is 00:31:43 I love it. I like Captain Fanny for like Sudmanger. I hope it comes back. So the main guest is talking. I just wanna say one other thing, which is that for some reason I really enjoyed it when they were backing out the boat, we know in West it's like, all right, let's go forward and they're like,
Starting point is 00:31:58 I'm wrong direction, you wanna go backwards, I wanna try it again, they're West, he's like, oh, it's backwards, but then there was some device, and she's like, all right, all right, west, now watch. Click, then click. All right, why don't you give it a try? Click, then click. He's like, click, then click, good job, west.
Starting point is 00:32:17 I'm really just like, I have to say, that's really sexy. Was it the double clicking or the taking orders? What was it? You know, I learned this trick when I was using a mouse on my Macintosh classic back in the 80s. I learned click click and I thought, that's a great way to teach people how to dock a boat. Click.
Starting point is 00:32:38 And tomorrow I'm gonna teach you why there is no right click on the Mac operating system. Ha. What do you mean there's no right click? My mouse has a right click. It's an illusion. It's not a real right click. You need to use a little control button, okay, when you use the click to make the right click.
Starting point is 00:32:58 It's a whole puzzle we'll get to after a good long rest. Where's I? I want to break some news to you. When you transition over to Mac, you're not going to be using the control button as much. You're going to be using something called command as in you command the computer to do something, but you should like that because it's more rules. I like it a lot already. I like the point of view.
Starting point is 00:33:18 They used to put an Apple button on it so you would understand what it is. And then they took the Apple off of it and thought, you you know what it's time that they learned on their own to understand what i'm trying to say. It's got a great little icon it's like a square with these little circles attached to it. Wait, wait, Sandy, wait, get in the toilet. Alright, that's enough for today. Class dismissed. Yeah, alright. We only made it five meters out of the dock but you know what, you look a little tired so you know what.
Starting point is 00:33:44 You go to sleep and we'll have to shift making some brands, you know, for dinner later on, okay? Bobbi, I'm psyched about Wes getting the boat off the dock, but do we need a sign that says student driver? Bobbi, can we list all the things that you haven't known how to do to season? Student anchor lifter. Student hitter honor. To assure you that time that God was taking a shit and I used to fire hydrant on him.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Bobby. So inside the guest is talking Hannah because they know each other now. And he's like, Hey, good to see you Hannah. And she's like, good to see you. So glad you came back. And he's like, so, good to see you Hannah. And she's like, good to see you. So glad you came back. And he's like, so what about this new chef? She's like, oh, he's good. And he goes, what does that mean? She goes, nothing.
Starting point is 00:34:32 And he goes, you sweet on him. Cause last time I remember there was this chef and you were sweet on it. So Jesus Christ. It is guy Masterson in the flesh. He's like someone yelled slut at my girl and I had to leave. No kidding. It's like so you're still a whore who sleeps with every chef that comes on, right?
Starting point is 00:34:49 Jeez, can they get one decent man on this show? Last week we had the fat ass who wouldn't even give a $200 tip. Yeah. Hannah's just like, You listen, I have no problem with our shift. The only problem is that, you know, he lives in a van and on top of that, he doesn't have a spark of hair, so I don't really know what I'm dealing with anymore. So, let's see the Adam. So now it's time to drink lunch. And the guests are drinking, they're drinking a lot and now it's time to cook lunch. And I guess Hannah asked for like a menu or something and Adam gets all chippy with her
Starting point is 00:35:22 and guess what he's making for lunch. He's making all sorts of grilled vegetables including grilled green onions. So here's the thing. Alright, the guests said they don't want onions. Alright, now I understand, let's say you were, yeah, there's big ambitious plans to make tacos. And it's like, how, like, I need to make my taco meat and I need to have onions in the taco meat because it's like sort of an essential aromatic. I understand the quandary a chef would be in, but if someone says, if you say, okay, I'm going to grill some vegetables, probably
Starting point is 00:35:57 the easiest way you could avoid onions would be to not grill green onions, which are not things that are commonly grilled in the first place. It's like you went out of your way to grill the thing they specifically did not ask for. Not only that, he made it over a quarter of the dish and put them on top of everything else. So everything was touching the onions. He's just an asshole. I mean, that was an asshole move. He could've sure known for being control freak assholes, but they have to turn it on with the guests and they they will hide shit, you know, I mean, if you're gluten free, be very careful eating out because a lot of chefs will be like, fuck that. Okay, it doesn't have gluten.
Starting point is 00:36:33 When, of course, it does. And they're just they feel like some sense of superiority when you don't die and they knew you were alive in the first place. Yeah. But this isn't even that. It's like blatant being a dick, you know? It's just not cool. You should get fucking fired. And I can't believe he didn't get reported for this shit. Yeah. I'm actually surprised that green onions did not become a bigger problem.
Starting point is 00:36:56 And he says, man, he goes, well, if the recipe calls for green onion, or no, if the recipe calls for onion, then it has onion. I'm like, this is grilled vegetables. There's no recipe. You... Yes. Well, you mean it. You're a chef. You're supposed to be able to improvise in a way. You know, you're supposed to work around these things. You know, good luck going on to top chef, okay, sir, because guess what? They will sell it, say you tell to you many times, you can't use this ingredient, because they're going to try to throw a curveball on you. And the fact that you cannot deal with the onion curveball means that you are not a top chef.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Yeah, this is the one who at judging yells at Gail. This is the one, every time. It's always Gail that takes the brunt of this shit. And Pat was like, ha ha Gail. And you know, by the way, food number store started airing this week and I haven't watched it yet, but it makes me happy to see what idiots they have this year. Because there will be an idiot who's like, I didn't even know that these were green.
Starting point is 00:37:47 I didn't know that scallions were green onions. When they're in the non onion challenge, I thought there were top of lettuce. Yeah, but this is just like blatant degree. So he's watching on the monitor and he sees them eating. And he's like, and someone says, I think this has onions. And he's like, oh, but it's okay. I'll put the ground and the watch says that is not okay. He's. And he goes, but it's okay. All the ground and the wife says, that is not okay. He's like, no, no, it's okay.
Starting point is 00:38:09 It's okay. Yeah. It's okay. So Adam sees and he's like, yeah, just eat those onions. If you build it, they will come. It's like wait a wait a make. What was that guy's name who's in that? Kevin Tronzer.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Wait a make Kevin Costner is like earnest dream, a dick move. Yeah. He's like, if it's been a baseball field to a town that doesn't want it, to just like make them spend money on time, something hot dog might, you know. Yeah, you know what? There were no scallions in that field of dreams. Exactly. None.
Starting point is 00:38:40 We're not even any, not even any onion grass. And you didn't build onions. Yeah. You didn't build onions. Yeah, you didn't build onions. You did was you grilled, you made a very simple, yet delicious dish, and you unnecessarily added grilled green onions. And I just, I really fresh the grilled green onions really frustrates me because it was the most
Starting point is 00:38:59 easily avoidable thing. That was the one that like really did not have to have. It was so unnecessary, did not have to have. It was so unnecessary. It did not really add anything. Like, the dish would not have been hurt by removing those. Like just add, grill something else. He's just daring, he's daring someone to fight with him. You know, he wants to fight with people. He's got an inner rage. And it's not even suppressed. It's just like a messy rage. It's gross. It's like he doesn't even know why he's mad. He's just always mad. So outside they're trying to make a slide.
Starting point is 00:39:27 They're trying to get the slide. And it's like a bunch of dumbasses never put a slide together before. And Max is like, oh, got figured out. It's like, what I'd rather do is slow up with a rather big, I could find it, yeah. I think, okay. Cause it looks you get me, oh, with a cat on right now
Starting point is 00:39:44 and have some tea. So what do they do? They get to slide and Lauren's like, oh my god, post run strengths. I'm going to post much strengths. I'm going to prove to everybody that I can make drinks after months. And it works because Hannah's like, she's on the men as they say. Yeah. Well, it only worked for about two seconds, but we
Starting point is 00:40:04 get back to that later on. So yeah, there are, you know, the slides coming down, the trampoline, let's get that trampoline closer to the slide, okay, let them be friends, okay? And then while they're pulling the trampoline, Malia and Wes are both on the Jetski together towing the trampoline and there's talk about how unnecessary it is to have two people on Jetsky and this is clearly less making a move on Malia, et cetera. And so this is also just getting Adam annoyed. I love the way he's just fucking with Adam on purpose. Hannah and Bugsie are both fucking with Adam and it's so funny. Yeah, but so then, so then, so the plan is that the Namaatnees are gonna go see this waterfall
Starting point is 00:40:44 that's up a river and in order to go the waterfall They're gonna have to take a ferry and so Hannah decides that she's gonna send Lauren off to take them to take them to the waterfall Because there's a lot of work and Hannah doesn't want to do it So so that's the plan and as that plan is starting to come together We also see that Malia is now wearing Adam's hat so like the jet ski move was good, but Adam's hat maneuver was literally him marking his territory. And Port West was like, well, I thought I heard it with the Jetsky, but she's got Adam's head on it, and I'm afraid she has lice now. It's a real turn off.
Starting point is 00:41:22 It's her choice. Is she'd like to wear Adam's hat. That's up to her. I wish her the best and her face shading. So dinner prep. He's making grits with onions because you can only make grits with onions. That's what gives them all the taste and a suck a tash, which is fucking onions. A gank. A suck a tash isn't onions. Is it? Yes. It's a vegetable Suck a Tash is a vegetable. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm saying rude a baga. Yeah, so Katash is like a vegetable Yes, like corn and ima beans. Yeah, yeah, but it's that's how it tastes trauma
Starting point is 00:41:57 And he's like well everything needs onions and it won't be right without it I'm like then stop choosing recipes with onions Adam. Yeah. Why don't you just like make corn with like some jalapenos and feta cheese and lime juice and salt and pepper, like in olive oil and just do that. Not that neat, dude. So in the kitchen, Adam and Malia, she's like, oh, he said, how are you doing? How's it going?
Starting point is 00:42:21 She's like, well, that's okay, avalate shift. And it's like, oh, that means you get to hang out with me late. And she takes off her hat and like swings go in. She's like, well, that's okay, have a late shift. And he's like, oh, that means you get to hang out with me late. And she takes off her hat and like swings her hair around. And she's like, this hat saved my life out there. And he's like, you're saving my life right now. Yeah, girl. Don't you have a bag of trash to hold
Starting point is 00:42:39 while you're saying that to make it more aggressively creepy? So now Adam is really hating Hannah, by the way, because as we've seen over the past three episodes, Hannah is on Team Wes. Hannah wants Wiz to get with Malia. And even earlier this episode, Hannah was the one who was like, well, maybe you should back off because Wiz actually really likes her
Starting point is 00:43:00 and doesn't want to just hook up with her. So Adam doesn't like Hannah saying these things. And he's been mounting a pass of aggressive campaign against her for the past like episode or two, you know, with always getting on bugs. So now he's going at, he's going at, um, um, hand up by saying like, it's kind of crazy. It's like five minutes before meal time and she's like taking a nap and she's not going to show up until five minutes before service. It's pretty lazy to my eyes. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You got two other stews who are capable enough
Starting point is 00:43:29 and they're capable enough because Hannah has vetted them, made sure they're capable. And she knows she can take, she can snap until five minutes before service time. I mean, what else is she gonna do before five minutes? You know, like what are you gonna have or do? Take out the trash, you know, you know, yell at her. That's who I'll do that, but he's, you know, it's like what are you going to have or do take out the trash, you know, you know, yellow or you won't do that. But he's, you know, it's like literally refusing
Starting point is 00:43:48 to do his job. And he's only mad at Anna because you won't help him get asked. He's such a pig. So dinner, seating, everybody sitting down. And the main guest is like, to nipples without him titties would be pointless. Yeah then I'm not gonna lie I was like what a stupid gross joke and then like 30 seconds later I realized the word play and I was like huh I think not still gross though so shrimp and grits and guess what the shit you're fine meal of shrimp grits and onions and the guests like the guy's on the inside of grits and shrimp And he's like Hannah this house onions in it She's like the only thing on the preference sheet is no onions and yeah, but onions. Why why why why So she brings it back and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:44:46 this is like the first plate that has ever come back. It's ridiculous. It's like fine. So it makes a new dish. And he's giving this weird attitude. And this is where atoms are to do something weird. I wish I'd written more quotes. But as he starts talking now and he's like annoyed
Starting point is 00:45:03 and he's like muttering to himself and muttering to Hannah, he starts talking like an annoying superhero villain. Did you notice that? The way he would talk, it sounded like he was about to launch some terrible weapon that like Puerto Rico or something. Oh, she goes, thank you and he goes, no, thank you. Glad they're enjoying it. We'll glad. See, that's like a bad villain dialogue right there. Thank you glad they're enjoying it real glad See that's like it's like bad villain dialogue right there real glad maybe they'll enjoy
Starting point is 00:45:30 These onions you presses a button in an island no sense of action And he has nothing to say so he just repeats everything she's saying yeah, so then you put it on the plate Oh, I put it on a plate, oh right. Yeah on the plate. Oh, I put it on a plate. Oh, right. Yeah. That's exactly. She's I put it so much on this plate. No onions here, except the secret onions, except these chives, I put right on top. So she takes out the second dish and it has chives. And it's like, it's okay, honey. She's like, it is not okay. I'm getting up, honey. This is ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:46:06 Yeah. So he had him in the kitchen. He's like, did you tell him the grits have onions? Because that's the best part. Asshole. And the wife comes up to Hannah. And she's like, you know, everyone's talking. And they said, they said no onions.
Starting point is 00:46:22 And then it shows the table. And everyone's going, well, I said no onions. I remember specifically saying no onions me too. I wrote it on my sheet no onions. Like if there was caps writing and in regular writing it would have been caps locked. It said no onions. It's smiley face. You had you to almost thought we didn't pay $25,000 for this Jesus so so and this woman and this woman, you know This is sort of a person that we would normally like make fun of a lot But she actually approaches Hannah and she's very nice about it. She goes I'm sorry It's just really the only thing you can eat so could you just tell Adam?
Starting point is 00:46:58 So then Hannah tells Adam and Adam's like, huh new money. They think it's an opportunity to put people down I'm like, no, how about it's like people living in a van going on a power trip with people who have money? How about that? How about your job is to please people, idiot. And it doesn't matter if they're chefs or if they're rich. No, chefs are not chefs. No, I understand that.
Starting point is 00:47:21 I understand that. Repeater, you know? Well, I understand the perspective that I'm a chef and I'm an artist and this is the food that I'm presenting to you But you're like serving the Novotans from Oklahoma who are drunk off of so much vodka Just give them the steak and potatoes they want and you're making grits. Can we please stop pretending it's the Mona Lisa, okay? Please He's such an ass. I'm serving you diced up pieces of monolisa. Yeah, and they'll be like, Damn it. I said no ladies who refused to smile in my grits, but maybe she is smiling. Oh my god. This
Starting point is 00:47:53 food is so confusing. It's amounts of this. God damn new money. So she handles it. I think Hannah even handles it pretty well. She's like, all right, they sent this back again because they were charves. So man, please make a request. No onions. Or anything else. Can they have no charves and nothing from the onion family? New money. Eh.
Starting point is 00:48:14 New money with their onion hit and ways. Like they're not making fun of your van house, okay? They're just asking you to perform the service you're here to perform. This simplest thing, the simplest thing. So she goes, please don't take it out on me. And he goes, oh, nothing but the onion family. I got you.
Starting point is 00:48:35 That's what she's like. Actually, and Bugs would go to each other like, dang, what is happening? And he goes, damn, girl. And actually, she's like nibbling over there in the corner. Although to be fair, even I could tell he wasn't actually talking to Hannah. He wasn't calling her a slut. I I could tell he was not talking, talking to Hannah, but still I can. It reminds him directly talking to Hannah, but when he's saying I got you,
Starting point is 00:49:01 yes, how that's heard. You still got to think about it. Yeah, like you have to be careful. So it reminds me of this one time. I used to be the assistant to a, like a big studio, like, like, Hancho guy. Like he was, the guy who was, like, he would yell at me.
Starting point is 00:49:20 It was 12 hours a day. I mean, I was like 23. I would show up and he would just be like 12 hours of yelling nonstop. And I would dread that phone call in the morning, the first phone call. And I would, you know, he would be nice, but then he would yell. And then I was always so scared,
Starting point is 00:49:37 like, oh my God, what's gonna happen? What's gonna happen? And at that time, my friends and I, we had this ongoing joke where we'd be like, hey, what's up, jerk? Hey, jerk, how's it going, jerk? It was like some stupid thing. And so he was being like friendly on the phone and he was being
Starting point is 00:49:48 joking and we're joking back and forth. I was like, okay, jerk. He was like, what did you call me? I was like, I can't believe I called the scary boss a jerk right to his face. And I was just like, Oh, yeah, you know, it's like, it's like the slang these days. Um, like where you call people, jerks. It's like a thing people do. He's like, I'm not your friend. Don't use this slang with me. I'm like, yes, sir, yes, sir. So when I saw Adam do that, it was like instant flashbacks.
Starting point is 00:50:14 I was like, I understand. I understand how these things happen. God, and it gets even worse. Because after he says that, Hannah goes, what did I say? And he goes, nothing, that's the point. Yeah. Which doesn't even make any sense. They do he goes, nothing, that's the point. Yeah, she doesn't even make any sense. They do sense again. And then that's the lead.
Starting point is 00:50:28 She's like, I'm not gonna stand here for this. And he goes, no girl, you can stay. Come on, buzz. Like, oh, yeah. And then afterwards Hannah's like, finally he puts out a proper plate of food. And then they're happy. And afterwards Hannah's like, I just don't like it when food gets in back to us.
Starting point is 00:50:46 You know, it looks bad on me. And he goes like, you've done this for seven years. You should be used to it. But now you know, and he's such a, I mean, God, she walks into the kitchen and he goes, huh, you seem to little worked up. She's like, um, I don't like when the primary sense feedback toys. And he's like, it's just how it goes. You know that.
Starting point is 00:51:06 And she goes, and I'd appreciate it. Please don't call me slut. And he's like, I use that word when I'm frustrated with my own life. Like you damn, onion slut. You know what I mean? She's like, um, I doubt he was calling Rosemary a child sluts. But all right. I'll go with that.
Starting point is 00:51:23 So she goes, she goes, all right, then you can call the herb sluts but alright I'll go with that. So she goes she goes alright then you can call the herb sluts. But please not me. Are you going to Scarborough fair? Pazie sage rose Mary and sluts. Passive sage rose mix slag. Look what you've just ruined a beautiful song at them. Bad new money. I don't go to Farrah's Marcus on account of all the sluts on sale I'm talking about of course the herbs
Starting point is 00:51:51 I don't go to Farmer's markets because all those farmers look at me like I'm some jerk because I'm new money to them Fucking poor farmers like no, it's because you drove an old crusty van in the middle of the Farmer's market I know no one can everyone has to walk around it like sir You cannot park your fuck van in the middle of the farmer's market and by that money By the way, what the fuck with him saying to Hannah? Well, you should you've been working in yachts for seven years You should be used to this but now how about you know you're you're a chef. You should be used to request like no onions Yeah, let's guys it's coming back. Oh, no, this guy's a total prick and he's really working hard on having like I'm coming back to the world. This guy's a total prick. And he's really working hard on having like, I'm a hippie.
Starting point is 00:52:28 I just blew on my hair and right of Vaniband with blood shot eyes and yeah, but they're all look eyes for people. They're all looking through it now because they're like, well, we think that it's a whole like like California,
Starting point is 00:52:39 like groovy man attitude is clearly fake. It's like, obviously, it's a fake. It's like there's a reason this guy is not working in a restaurant. Some people want to travel to the world. This guy just can't keep a job for longer than six weeks. I'll take that charter and that's it. That's it. So I'll bet you anything he doesn't have a LinkedIn. You know, he's not going to have anything where people can review him. He's got like a
Starting point is 00:53:03 Craigslist. So now up in the drunken hot tub, these horny people are, you know, being horny in the hot tub and the guys are playing with each other's nipples. And then someone starts bleeding in the hot tub for whatever reason, which is not. Bobby's fireman instinct and not kick in unfortunately. So they just bled out in the hot tub. Yeah, because he didn't want to fuck any one of them. Bobby's a person who only saves the hot chick from the fire. Everybody else dies. Yeah. So, um, yeah, the guest or wasted one guy's walk around without pants like his dick is out
Starting point is 00:53:32 and it's, you know, you know, just mortifying for their. And then the guys go to bed together. It was weird. This shows weird and amazing. Okay, so then Hannah tells Wes, I might have to get to the liquor store in the morning whiz because they've already gone through 14 of the 20 bottles and so in the kitchen, Adam and Bugs. So Bugsie is teasing him. She's like, so I saw Malien, you're hot today. I saw your tactics. He's like, don't jinx it. Slut. I'm sorry, I was talking to the hat. He's like, don't jinx it. Slut. I'm sorry, I was talking to the hat.
Starting point is 00:54:05 It's made of herbs. It's talking about my life choices, which was that hat. Always counting on bugs to jinx it. So let's see. The next day. The next day. And then the next day. So the next day, there's a cat in a baby.
Starting point is 00:54:22 Pull up the starboard anchor. Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, doing great job there. There's some weirdness, I guess, day they're yeah, yeah, and a baby pull up the starboard anchor. Oh, yeah, Bobby. Oh doing great job there There's some weirdness. I guess they're planning on this expedition to the waterfalls and they're they're making I guess Adam is gonna make some cookies and bugs is like well They really enjoy a paper by cookie moments Pay about the cookies the favorite things and then they like zoom in on the preference sheet and they like highlight Peanut butter cookies and I was like Oh, is this gonna be like an important detail? I feel like I'm Dr. House and I've found a found something that's gonna
Starting point is 00:54:51 solve the whole episode But they didn't really get back to it and I'm wondering if we're going to this could come like next episode It's gonna be something like he made them chocolate chip cookies, but they really want the peanut butter cookies, you know It's probably gonna find a way to put onions in those damn peanut butter cookies just despite their asses. I'm just like, I really wanna know why the peanut butter was highlighted. Like why we had like a whole, where the screen was great out, we had a little white bar around the peanut butter cookies,
Starting point is 00:55:17 it's like driving me nuts. Maybe just a highlight that she actually read the preference sheet. I would say it could be just that too. And that he does. Who knows, but I love say it could be just that too. And that he does. Who knows, but I love an ongoing mystery, so I'll go with that. Hehehe. So now Lauren, you know, moments away from her big moment,
Starting point is 00:55:33 you know, here she is for the past two episodes. I'd be like, I just want to prove to people that I'm more than a girl who can iron clothes. I could do a lot. I could handle a lot. I don't want to wake up hand, because I want to show I can handle all these guests by myself. And You're not like, okay, great. You're gonna go take them to the waterfall yourself. She's like, it's too much. And bugs goes. I think this girl Lauren
Starting point is 00:55:56 has a middle name of overwhelm. Lauren, I don't know what her last name is. Short. Lauren everywhere. Well, I'm shorts. She's probably like Italian. Oh, whatever. Well, I'm shorts in the polytani.
Starting point is 00:56:15 So we get the ducking ducking between you. We can all die. I'm winning here with my fire. My firemen abilities. Yeah. And then they park it easily and she's like nicely done Wes. Good job. Now go take a nap you deserve it huh. So Bugs comes up to Hannah. She's like hello Hannah. Lauren is very scared and I think we can send another student to you. And
Starting point is 00:56:40 Hannah's like that is not her job. Now Hannah gets mad, she's like, I don't like, I think that, I think that bugs is getting too big of her bridges. And now all of a sudden, she's the one making calls and who should be going where with whom and what and why. She's like, I don't, I don't appreciate, I don't appreciate being told who should go with Lauren. It's my call and then they come to come back from commercial. She's like, all right, bugs, could you go with Lauren, please?
Starting point is 00:57:02 Great, thank you so much. Alright Bugs, could you go with Lauren please? Great, thank you so much. So Hannah goes to Soppin' Town with Whiz. Yeah. And so what about your love interest? What about your love life? And what does he tell her about it? I don't remember.
Starting point is 00:57:16 I'm like rules, rules, rules. And she goes, that's fucked up. And I was like, damn it. I didn't even hear what he was telling her. It wasn't, it was like, I don't even remember what he said. He was like, oh, there's where we can go shopping under the IV. She's like, that's fucked up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:29 So the captain is announcing on the boat. Well, the Pirateers in 30 minutes and he goes, well, Hanha shouldn't have told me to have, oh, yeah, Adam. She shouldn't have told me to have the food ready so early. Well, just well, should we cover it up to captain? Well The captain. Well, so a little bit more context on that. The ferry was supposed to leave at 12.30 and go up the river. And so the food, hand it over, everyone, have the food ready by 12.20s that way they can go like put it on to this ferry. Okay. Now, then Captain Sandi gets on the radio and says, okay, the ferry got moved to 130.
Starting point is 00:58:06 All right. So now the food has been moved onto this boat. I'm not the ferry. The food has been moved onto the ferry. And it's just sitting there and Adam's like, now it's sitting there, spoiling. We're 2.5 hours away from bacteria death. I'm like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:58:24 You see, if you've ever seen a buffet, you'll be okay. Have you ever seen a refrigerator? Could you just bring it and put it, I mean, what the hell? Is it really, I mean, I understand like, when stuff is left out, you're like, you don't want it just to sit there and like, rot, but I think it'll be okay.
Starting point is 00:58:42 And so that's, so he's just sitting there. He's then you're gonna really start to stink in about two hours. Yeah, he's like we're 20 minutes in with bacteria and we're 2.5 hours away from everyone dying. I'm like, maybe that's the garbage juice trailing down your back. But one of the biggest dramatic moments does have a resolve in this episode. The captain says, did you get us some toilet paper? I was like, yes, it's like good, because I need a role. It's like, yes. Finally, I love when there's good happy ending. Eight, a few too many brand Zinos last night, and I got a shit amount like crazy. Too much bacteria on that brand Zino, you know, sitting out for 20 minutes. And then the fourth assist chef has to be a dick. He's like, this is unprofessional. And Hannah's a hypocrite. She should have handed this off to Bugsie.
Starting point is 00:59:26 And Hannah's like, well, it was supposed to leave it 1230. And he was like, well, I could have put it in the fridge had I known. Okay, then I dare you to go fucking yell at the captain. Yeah, I dare you. Yeah, Hannah's like, how could I tell you if I didn't know myself? I didn't know. Well, you should have known. Bugs he would have known. I mean, she goes, well, you could have taken the initiative to find out. And he goes, well, maybe Bugs should be the chiefs, too. And she goes, maybe we could get a shift that can
Starting point is 00:59:56 read preferences. No, not even that. She goes, maybe we should get a shift that can read a fucking preference sheet. I was like, yes, Hannah. Yes. I'm like, Adam, you don't realize, Hannah is like a monster, and she's been so nice all season
Starting point is 01:00:08 because you've been relatively respectful to her, but if you start with her, she is going to bite your head off. Yeah, you don't wanna go down this road, okay? Because Hannah has a friendly veneer that can be wiped right off as well, sir. Yeah, I mean, if you look at last season, by this point last season, Hannah was on a tear, she was yelling at everyone, I mean, if you look at last season, by this point last season, Hannah was on a tear. She was yelling at everyone, she's yelling at Danny, yelling at
Starting point is 01:00:28 Bob. I mean, everyone. And she's been really, really contained so far this season. So, Adam is about to uncore a monster. And then what does he do? He goes back to the trash bags. Like, this guy has aggression that he takes on trash bags. It's so weird. He takes a big trash, a big black hefty bag and start slapping it, like trying to, you know, get the air into it or whatever, how you unfold it. He's like, like, okay, enjoy your crazy hefty moment. What is wrong with you? Why is that your thing? Yeah, he, it's gonna get bad because of the previews for next week. It looks like he, it looks like he, he makes an onion soup for them. He literally makes an onion soup for these people and I think they're not happy. I think
Starting point is 01:01:21 they do not like it at all. He really makes an onion soup. That's what it said in the previews. I turn them off on the previews because you know, I'll be like doing a half an hour on the previews. Well, I think he makes it on you and then people are upset and he's like, what, it was a joke. Oh, Adam. I hope he gets fired. I don't do what I don't because he is bringing, you hope he gets fired. I don't do what I don't because he is.
Starting point is 01:01:48 You know, a mistake is an opportunity to improve. Well, the other thing is that he says that Hannah has a resting bitch-facing sensor right in front of Captain Sandy and she's like, oh, come on now Adam, come on. So he's really sort of spiraling out of control, which is how we like it. Yes. Well, that was a fun app. Well, it also not an app day, Ian.
Starting point is 01:02:13 Well, here's what we have. Oh, I mean an episode of Below Deck. Well, it is Wednesday. So guess what, it's time for some listener spotlight. Aller. Oh, yeah. So this is very exciting. listener spotlight. All er. Spotline. Yeah. So this is very exciting. It's a very exciting listener spotlight
Starting point is 01:02:31 because it's our first male listener spotlight. It's not amazing. Oh. This comes from Mick Resendez, or is that like to say Mick Resende. We met Mick at our live show. It's a adorable little man there. It's not really little.
Starting point is 01:02:49 I don't know why I said he's little. Sorry, Mick, you're not little. So here's Mick, and let's listen to what Mick has said. I haven't listened to it yet, so I'm excited. Hey, Ronnie, hey, Ben. So I have, this is now my fourth attempt, and I go along, so I have, this is not my fourth attempt and I go along so I've prepared notes. So I'm just going to read what I wrote.
Starting point is 01:03:09 Hey Ronnie, hey Ben, it's your nearest and nearest micross on those. Where do I start? Well, I was first told about you guys by my roommate and best friend Kelly. Hi Kelly, say hi to Kelly. Who described crapens as two weehogays that just talk about Bravo, and I thought that's really stupid. And then I listened. And all I heard was leaf blower and background noise. And I was like, this is really low rent. But still, I persisted. There was something so magical about you guys. I'm 32 years old, and finally finishing college to become a teacher. I'm politically active, so I turned to you guys to escape from the seriousness of life, if only for a
Starting point is 01:03:49 moment. One day, someone wrote to the crap in his mailbag about real housewives in New York cast being detectives or something, and Ben did a Ramona quote that, to this day, makes me cry with laughter. Ben said, oh my god, did you kill that guy? He was alive, and now he's dead. If that wasn't enough months later at your show at the Sovotele, you finally explain who Geraldine Parton Smith was.
Starting point is 01:04:14 I literally almost crashed my car. Like yeah, it was so funny. Anyway, Ronnie, Ben, you guys really are doing good work. You create an escape for us listeners. I remember finding comfort after the post. Nightclub crowd tragedy listening to you guys. And as many of us listeners will agree, you guys are two of my best friends.
Starting point is 01:04:38 You guys bring so much joy to so many people. I feel so lucky to have met you. I'll make. I'll throw back Thursday on Instagram soon to you guys when my mat at your live show. But I just wanna say thank you so much for letting me be on the spotlight. And since we all live in WeHo,
Starting point is 01:04:55 you guys have a round of drinks on me, but not at Food Bar. Ronnie is right, it smells like bleach, vomit, and bad decisions. Thank you guys so much, and I love my whole crap in his family. Oh Manic so sweet. He is adorable by the way. He is and it was so fun meeting you in real life at our show Yeah, that was super fun That was so nice. I and by the way like
Starting point is 01:05:21 What like how what like a lovely sentiment about like the post nightclub and everything, you know, it's just crazy to us that, you know, we're just here being shay and sometimes, you know, sometimes we are, we show up to this podcast and all we're just, you know, going through our notes, just trying to, trying to make something funny when there's like an unspectacular episode we have to recap. And, you know, it's like really kind of like an unspectacular episode we have to recap. And it's like really kind of like an honor for us to know that we really can help people in ways like that when they are going through hard times or they are like a state of sadness or whatever.
Starting point is 01:05:55 So it's like it really means allowing me here things like that. So, and by the way, that was also a really good remote impersonation, perhaps even more importantly. So good job with that, Tumay. Heck yeah, boo. Yeah. So if you want to have your two minutes on the on the watcher crap ends, go to patreon.com slash watcher crap ends and sign up for sign up to support us at the crap ends spotlight level. You'll see all the information there and read all the rules by the way. Be
Starting point is 01:06:25 careful because we don't want to ever overcharge anyone. So you have to read all the rules on Patreon and make sure you see what it is. We, we, we, even though we're five days a week, we actually only do, we only charge for three day, three episodes per week. So we just want to make sure that's clear of everyone because sometimes people get confused and you know we don't want that to ever happen. So go do that if you want to participate or just merely show up tomorrow and listen to our episode about Real House House in New York. We love you all. That was Listeners spotlight. And we're gonna talk to you all tomorrow. Thanks everyone. Hi everybody. Love everyone. Hi everybody, love you.
Starting point is 01:07:05 Bye. Hey everyone, thanks for listening to the podcast today. We really appreciate the love and support you guys show us. If you have a minute, go to iTunes and leave a review. And if you don't want to do that, maybe next time you're talking to your friends about Bravo, you mentioned the podcast. Spraying the word really helps us grow
Starting point is 01:07:24 and it means the world to us. Also, check us out on Instagram and at Twitter. On Instagram, we're at WatchwareCrapins, on Twitter, we're at what crap ends. You can also check out me and Ronnie on both platforms. Ronnie is at Ronnie Caram on both Instagram and Twitter and I'm at Beside Blog on Instagram and Twitter. Really, thank you guys so much. We really mean it. We appreciate the support. And even if you do none of those things, we're just happy you're listening.
Starting point is 01:07:50 Thanks. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wandry.com slash survey.
Starting point is 01:08:02 with Wondry Plus and Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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