Watch What Crappens - #478 Below Deck Med: As the Onion Turns

Episode Date: June 14, 2017

The onion betrayal hits its peak on this week’s Below Deck Med, but at least Malia gets a side of spinach! Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, r...ingtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content,
Starting point is 00:00:22 become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. You can also find us on social media on Twitter We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends. We'll see you there I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Madonna Hines Mia Hanson Aloha, Kristie Dauerty, just saying Kelly Barlow and Cindy Gerson, we love you girls. Hello and welcome to the Watch what crap ends podcast. The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on yo brawves i'm running caram from the rosepricks bachelor at podcast which is very juicy go listen and i'm here with my partner bestie so made on the internet bedman the b side blog and the banta blender hello bin hi ronny you're so unbelievably sweet. I wish I could say the same about you.
Starting point is 00:01:47 Now just kidding. No, I just specified on the internet. No, Ronnie, you're my internet bestie also. You're my soul mate, not my whole mate. Okay, let's not get it twisted. I think it's Wednesday. Things are crazy. It's hump day. What about? That's why we're talking holes already. Yes, and and whales, which we haven't started talking about, but we will get to it.
Starting point is 00:02:12 And camels. Anything with humps? Suburban roads. Yeah, let's go. We're on a roll. So guys, today is a very exciting day because things happen with anchors. Yeah. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh low deck Mediterranean. We'll woot indeed, Ben. We'll woot big woot.
Starting point is 00:02:46 I love having talking about the show and Wednesdays because I actually feel like it's the perfect hump day show. I feel like, you know, low deck med is really fun. I enjoy watching it. I enjoy experiencing it. I enjoy talking about it. It's just a great thing to signal that we are halfway through a week and smooth sailing from here on out as long as we can get those anchors fixed. Yeah, and sometimes it seems like why is this a Bravo show? Because the Bravo brand is like
Starting point is 00:03:12 housewives luxury richness, but episodes like this and the last really explain it very well because the fights are so minuscule and stupid and you're so invested. I mean, onion wars. I've never seen the internet go as apes shit as they have been going over the onion controversy. Yeah, this has been a pretty epic thing with these onions. It takes me back to low deck season three, I believe it was. Maybe season four, I don't remember but when it was Leon and there was a cardboard box issue, you know, the dehydrator in the cardboard box. I mean, the fights that happen on this show are so real and they're over the smallest thing and it's so great.
Starting point is 00:03:59 Yep, so fine. So this episode, how does it start off been? It starts off with fairy drama because as you remember last week, the guests are gonna take a fairy up to some waterfalls And there's some food that has to be ready, but the fairy has been delayed and so Adam the chef is all annoyed because the food is just gonna spoil and so, you know, Hannah's like, Adam, oh, there's nothing I could do about it. So, won't you shut up your face now? And he's like, well, maybe bugs, he should be chiefs, too. That's generally who gets all the shit done anyway. And then that's when Hannah makes her comment about, well, maybe we need a shift who can read a fucking preference, she'd hate that, bitch. And then Adam does his like stupid stoner English,
Starting point is 00:04:39 where he's trying to make a good point, but it never makes sense. He's like, she's continuing this looming ability to fuck with me in my timing. She's continuing alluming ability. But the fuck you've been talking about. And Hannah goes, no one ever speaks to me like that. Ever. Eva. Eva. Eva. Eva. Like you're not on this show, Eva Longoria, okay, you can't be on everything take a seat Eva And then Adam says well, you know the only thing was kind of fiasco, but bugs is killing it though my shut up Yeah, he's not doing anything that Hannah's not doing you know So on the guest boat they're like cheers cheers no onions. Hey, cheers to chase and waterfalls.
Starting point is 00:05:25 Yeah, please all die. Please all drown. Yeah. So, yeah, you know what happened at LC. Handkerchief didn't survive. Just how they keep cutting back to little tiny things on the show cracks me up. So they're like, yeah, but chasing waterfalls and Hannah's like, on peace. And she's just smoking on the yacht. Yeah. And she's just smoking on the yacht. Yeah, just Adam Adam needs to I have three stripes and books He has two stripes. Lauren has a negative five stripe. He needs to learn to respect my stripe You know what I'm saying? No one ever expects my stripe ever know which peppermint has more stripes Know which peppermint is the strongest item I'm like a fucking zebra on him on my stripes. Someone's got to respect that balance
Starting point is 00:06:05 So they get they get to the waterfalls and bugs is like a fucking zebra on him on my stripes. Some's got to respect that balance. So they get to the waterfalls and Bugsie is like a wash with splendor. She's like, it's out to the fear hotel really. Oh, she says this waterfall is breadstaking. It's like fear dice. It's a breadstaking and fear dice. The hell, poor Bugsie, It's all a nightmare to bugsy. I think it's actually, yeah. Speaking of fear at ice, Malia got dirt on her short.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Oh, no. She's like, oh my god, I got dirt on my short. It's an Adam's like, yeah, I get you dirt off. Yes, good to finally have it in my side. And you know, I have this burning feeling. It's probably your liver, you fucking drug addict. It's your kidneys, drink some water, you fucking blood shot. Piece of crap.
Starting point is 00:06:52 I did enjoy, this was Crosscut with Hannah and Wes walking around town to get some booze. And Hannah is just like bitching about Adam, which I enjoy. I love watching a good bitch session. And so then Adam, meanwhile, he's, Adam's getting so annoyed as he's watching Kenny, because Adam went on the ferry and he's watching Kenny and who's the primary
Starting point is 00:07:10 and he's the guy who doesn't like onions and Adam's gonna annoyed with people, people like Kenny who don't like onions, he's like, that's not how it works Kenny, you need to be more appreciative. I'm like, he's only paying $20,000, all right. I've met Kenny's before. Kenny's are my rival. Kenny's ruined my job. Hey, they like shower works. Yo, you know, Kenny's when you see him. They're all showered living in in in houses that can't can't move. Yeah, you park your van and then some Kenny comes out and tells you you're in his space. Hey, fuck off Kenny. and then some canny comes out and tells you you're in his space. Hey, fuck off, canny. Some canny's got that quote unquote,
Starting point is 00:07:47 clean underwear. He dumped your shit and canny's barking space on your way up. Fuck you, canny. He has allergies that causes the suffocates to close in. We've all seen those canny's. Although, canny doesn't have an allergy, he just has a preference. So then I like that Wes, Wes is, you know, he's starting to get angry and angry at him and he's like, you know what I call it him. He's, he's, he's no girl on the inside. That's what he is. He's no girl.
Starting point is 00:08:19 Oh, I'm so nausea. Eventually every turtle comes out of the shell. He's an ogre on the inside not even like Shrek Shrek's an ogre on the outside and an angel on the inside. But he's an ogre on the inside I tell ya. Oh I'm so naughty don't tell my father I said that. It's a 40 year old guy with bloodshot eyes and a bad wig on the out. My dad's had never said for little wood but but I'm gonna say it today. Oga. So Adam's like, yeah, you want to sneak off into the bushes, Maliah? Ooh. And Maliah's like, I'm sure. So they go for a walk. And Max is like, you got all snake and indivible shares.
Starting point is 00:08:58 What's his what Adam can play? Also, the guests are really enjoying the food. They're eating couscous and they're like, what is couscous anyway? I think it's a fancy term for something ground up. I think corn. It's not. Couscous is a Moroccan rice made out of some leaner flour.
Starting point is 00:09:21 Oh, okay. Couscous, I think as we all know It's lamb that's been seared and then diced into small balls and blanched white So onions can he's like damn it? So they're walking and Bobby what Bobby watches them off and he's like oh God like I'm not the guy who just grabs her and like, forces a make out. Gosh, I'm like, I never get a chance
Starting point is 00:09:50 because people keep taking her. Yeah, I'm the guy just sluts shame, sluts shame to right out front. You know, there's something he said about that. Meanwhile, they keep cutting to Sandy looking to binoculars as if she's like spying on the conversation. All right, well, back at the binoculars.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Well, let's see. Ocean still has waves. Well, it's now there. So well rested staff. Well, patting myself on the shoulder there. God, that was a good stretch. Look at that adorable restaurant right there by the dock. Looks like they're serving some fresh ranzino, maybe I'll head on them.
Starting point is 00:10:21 No, can't leave my posts. Yeah, we're not with our friend, Leah Black the other day for the Nernj and because. Oh my God, I'll take on a note. Can't leave my posts. Yeah, I went out with our friendly of black the other day for dinner and because oh my god, I'll take the brand Zeno. I was like, of course, you will. So that's so bravo. If you don't order brand Zeno right now. I know that's what I thought. When I remember I said I got brand Zeno 2v, so you're gonna all like to think about was Blow Jack. That's how this podcast is infiltrated my life. I would like to thank the editors because sometimes you watch these shows and it's just like all these hot people And you're like I could never clean on a boat. I'm not hot enough You know, I can never vacation in Croatia. I don't work out enough
Starting point is 00:10:53 So thank you for putting this fat dude in speedo because it really Gave me life. I was like thank you. That is confidence on some pudgy Little knock-need legs right there. Thank you, Bronco. But notice that they didn't even, they've learned his face out. You know they're like, we're not even going to ask for a release for this man. We don't want his name associated with the show. We're just going to body shaming him.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Yeah, but they practically, I mean, they showed his whole walk. Yeah. It was a lot. It was a lot. Are you going to follow him? They're like, OK. Make it so that he's even closer in this shot.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Let's have him the entire walk. Yeah, well, I feel like once a season Bravo has on below deck, they have to really zoom in on a fat guy in a small bathing suit. Remember last season, there was that fat dude with the hunchback and the Herald over his back. Well this guy was smooth, so I like the know, we're not all the same model people. So Adam is flirting with Malia and he does this fucking flirting that makes me crazy when guys flirt with girls like this. He talks to her kind of like she's a baby. He's like, whoa, isn't it nice to get away? So nice to take a walk. Yeah. We're gonna talk about Gatoriel and like,
Starting point is 00:12:09 Choo-choo banana on a spoon. Choo-choo into your mouth, little baby. Well, I mean, I can, Jesus, that motorcycle was like, I'm very loud, I'm a motorcycle. It was Adam. You know, hey, Maria. Check out my new motorcycle It makes me more of a man, right? Guess what? It's also my house. I got a new non-Mathloo on the back of my van So yeah, so they're flirting talking about going to Greece. He's like, yeah, you gotta go to Greece for me Whatever she's like And then they like walk back and they they share a kiss
Starting point is 00:12:44 It's you, we can't really see it. They're obscured by trees, but we are. Yeah. They don't share one. He fucking steals another one. Thank you. Thank you. It's like the guy takes all the skittles out of the doctors little candy dish. Yeah. Exactly. One more customer, sir. So that everyone packs up. They go back to the boat. It's time for more drinking and the hot tub, and there's an order for espresso martinis. And meanwhile, Adam is now back in the kitchen. It's time for him to make, he's gonna,
Starting point is 00:13:13 it's time for dinner, and he's gonna make a lentil soup. And he's like, well, you can't make a little soup. If you don't have onions, you don't have the onions in there. I'm like, well, then don't make that fucking lentil soup, dude. There's like a million starters. You don't need to make a soup. Yeah, it's got such a prick and he's just doing it to be, you know, he thinks it's funny. Yeah, he does and suddenly it's getting close to dinner time and he's, you know, he and Hannah
Starting point is 00:13:34 are just now butting heads and Hannah, Radio's Adam is like, Adam, is the menu ready? And he's like, yeah, it's been here on the counter for a while. Hey, is this Kenny gonna fucking pull me through the mud? Fuck you, Kenny. And she's like, well, he goes, oh god damn it. This Amber idiot doesn't like muscles. And she's like, well, I'll think what you should do is say everything they don't like.
Starting point is 00:13:57 And he's like, yeah, that's god damn right, Buzzi. She's like, I was just kidding. He's only kidding Adam. So he decides he's going to put endutes in the sea. But she's like, I was just kidding. He's only kidnapped him. So he decides he's going to put endutes in the soup anyway. Yeah, exactly. So he puts onions in the soup. And, uh, and here's the thing, if you're gonna put onions in the soup, like puree them or something, that way there's no visible evidence, right?
Starting point is 00:14:21 But he just, he minces them. So you can still see that they're at, I mean, you, you can tell when there's onions, when they're minced, you can But he just, he minces them. So you can still see that they're red. I mean, you, you can tell when there's onions, when they're minced, you can see the onions. Okay. So it's dinner time. There's a table scape with big chunky beads on it, waiting for Kate Chastain to weigh in on that. I know she has an opinion. There's a giant pearl necklace and a glass bowl. And it's just, it's like a symbol of Malia's whole arc. It's like this poor beauty, you know, covered in pearl necklaces contained in a small space, you know, like those pearl necklace, you know, I'm sure she would want them to spread out, but she just can't. It's like that bowl can't just jump in the water and clean itself off, you know.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Yeah, we're homies. Yeah, lesser heart. Bless her heart. So the soup comes out and everyone loves the soup, but sure enough, Kenny is like, I think there's an onion in the soup or someone says there's onions are spotted. What a shock. Yeah. So he's like, I think there's onions and his wife is like, Oh, you know what? Have to worry. We told him no onion. Surely he wouldn't do that. Not for the fifth time in a row. Surely he wouldn't be such. Not for the fifth time in a row. Surely he wouldn't be such an asshole slash idiot to do it again, right? Right.
Starting point is 00:15:31 And his atoms in the bottom watching on the monitor, like, yeah. They like it. They like it. Yeah. So I'm only in Max. You're talking about boys. Yeah, Max is like, sir, you took a walk.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Hey, it was the verb. Hey, it was the verb. How was the verb? Is he a cup of tea? What about whiz? Hey, you cup of tea. She's like, um, we're just buds. And then he's like, she could just flick it all out.
Starting point is 00:15:57 She's like, anyone she walked. And they're like, oh, Malia. Oh, Malia. She's like, see, the thing thing is I'm like a really big band and from rules fan and every time I think about kissing Max I mean, Wes I feel like I'm kissing Lisa. So I just really can't go down that path. Yeah, I don't want to be manipulated into kissing Lisa Vanderprop, okay, I don't want Ken to come after me and knock me spark out. So Max is like what about Bob? And she's like what about Bobby? He's like, oh, you know his name Stale so he's not written off is still in the rest She's like yeah, I mean, I mean, I'm not I mean, I'm not into him
Starting point is 00:16:34 But I guess theoretically I would have been into him if I hadn't brought the lawn stuff But I'm not into him. He's like so it said is you into Bob. Oh great. No, I'll go tell him what not He's like well, I mean, I guess you would be my type. He works out, but then again, he's Bobby. So no, he's like, yeah, look, Sam, telling him it's gonna work out. It's cool on your part. Like Max goes off to just, you know, start some shit. Meanwhile, Bugsy is the hand of the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:16:56 Just being nice, like she's not doing anything. She's like, yeah. Hello, Adam, I just wanted you to know that they've enjoyed the soup in the five minutes away from dinner or whatever. And, uh, did you need anything? I can go wipe something up with my rag and then Hannah walks in and she sees them being you know Slightly friendly and Hannah's like I don't like what's giving on there ever since ever since Adam made that comment They're just getting along like two peas in a pod with no onions. I don't like it at all. They're like bum-tums
Starting point is 00:17:22 with no onions, I don't like it at all. They like bum tombs. That's what she said. Bum tombs. See, the thing is that Adam's mind game has totally worked on Hannah. That's the thing, they wouldn't work on Kate Chastain, but they work 100% on Hannah. Cause now Hannah's like, fucking boozey.
Starting point is 00:17:35 I don't like the way she's acting. She's trying to get up to Monica's. I don't like it. Yeah, well, Hannah's weak spot has always been being manipulated by As Homeman. I mean, that was her weak spot last year too. And here we are again. Yep.
Starting point is 00:17:49 So she's now, now she's mad at Bugsie. Now she's taking it all out on Bugsie. She thinks Bugsie is like climbing up some ladder when Bugsie's just trying to like exist. She's like, did I remind everyone of my granddad? So anything that you think I'm doing, I'm just trying to maintain a proper mental state right now. That's all, so please just bug off everyone. What you like me to pick up your plates? That stupid bum chung with Adam, why don't you just go get married already? Why don't you get a ring on your finger, boobs? Seriously. So now it's the main course, it's lamb, and there broccoli and the broccoli tastes like onions because there was onion in the soup.
Starting point is 00:18:28 That's ruined their taste buds. So you know this is gonna be bad eventually. Yeah. Yeah, pretty sure there were onions in the soup. And so Hannah downstairs or Hannah tells us, well, at least no one sent the feedback thank gold. And then the hosting goes, we just hear like a little conversation between a husband and a wife and he's like, yeah, this is fun. But we're going to get back from vacation. I'm going to be like, you didn't pick the Q tips off the goddamn counter again. And she goes, yeah, well, what about when you shit your pants and I had to clean it up
Starting point is 00:18:58 in the laundry room? And he goes, well, look, honey, that was my New York, my New Year's resolution, not to shit my pants. And I think I'm doing pretty good. Oh, the romance. So, yeah, the romance. So then Max, he goes over and tells Bob. He's like, so I just, but he said that she won't be into you for long.
Starting point is 00:19:21 So really, you have a chance, Bob. Bob is like, aha. I'm going to try and get in there. It's like that famous scene from Dumb and Dumber. So you're telling me there's, he's like, what are the odds that you would be into me? And she's like, well, it's, he's like, is it one out of 10, one out of 100? She's like, one out of a million.
Starting point is 00:19:40 He's like, so you're telling me there's still a chance. So Bob, he's like, you're ready to go. He's the light at the end of the tunnel. He just doesn't so you're telling me there's still a chance. So Bobby's like, you're ready to go. He's the light at the end of the tunnel. He just doesn't realize that the tunnel is extreme. He's he's looking at a channel situation here. That's what he doesn't realize. So he's excited. Um, we get one little shot when everybody's going to bed later. And Bobby sitting in bed eating like one of those giant round chocolate mint things. And I don't know why it made me laugh so hard, but it just says Bobby in Mike Vision for some reason eating these gigantic round chocolate mint.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Just happy and delicious. He's like, I have a chance. I deserve this. Well, the funny thing with Bob, what I've always find some music with Bobby is that when he's an asshole, he's such an asshole. He's like the worst. He's just an asajunist dick with like, just a woe is me mentality entitlement.
Starting point is 00:20:32 But then when he is like at the bottom of the barrel, he actually becomes kind of funny. He's like, I'm just like, he just becomes this like sort of funny hopeless dude. He's like, I don't even have a chance. I can't even do anything. I'm just like this, no one cares about me. I'm just like there, I'll get a child in Malia.
Starting point is 00:20:45 I'm just like wiping the deck down and you're like, oh, Bobby, I'm like the fuck me for having somebody for Bobby. And now I'm eating a mint being likable. Fuck you, Bobby, for manipulating me so much. It can be as likable as you want, but if you have a tendency to often start screaming, especially at women and then just being like who's next in line or whatever fuck you like your niceness well it's not a it doesn't
Starting point is 00:21:12 ever come that I like to describe things a lot in Jurassic Park terms which is that Bobby is the T. Rex and fight the first half movie like the T. Rex is the worst oh my god I hate the T. Rex but then Adam the chef comes along and he's the velociraptors and you're like wait wait a second, the velociraptors are the real problem here. They are the worst. And they're smart. They're the real problems here. But then the T-Rex comes and eats the velociraptors. You're like, thank God. And everything is okay in the world. That's how I see the season going. Well, this is, I see it going like this, the most recent Jurassic Park. We're suddenly
Starting point is 00:21:42 the T-Rex is trying to help us. It's like, wait a minute. No, that's the T-Rex is trying to help us. It's like wait a minute, no, that's the T-Rex. The boss raptors are trying to help us. Does that mean that at some point someone's like, Adam is going to be stuck between Bobby and Hannah and they're going to be saying something like, come on, come on, Blue, come on, come back to us, come on. I don't think they're um, we said no onions. He's a cab known some Velaciraptors in my time. So anyway, there's also a funny scene where Hannah opens up a bathroom door,
Starting point is 00:22:15 and there's a guest just passed out on a toilet, which is also funny. And then she goes to tell their friends. She's like, guys, I don't want to bug yet. And they go, oh, did he pass out shitting? She's like, yeah, no, I got to say that a lot. Otherwise he shits his pants and then a whole New Year's resolution is ruined. I love that that's that guy's thing.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Yeah, good. There goes Frank again. Pass that on the shitter. So then the next morning, the boats pulling out of the dock, we got a hanky cameo. Did you know do you see hanky? No, is there a little hanky? There's a little swan, you know seeing off the yacht, which was really cute and Now and now so it's now it's like the morning and and Bob and Mali are in like that little crew galley
Starting point is 00:22:59 Whatever it's called and they're sitting there and Bob is like So Balea are you awake? She's like, I'm's a great. Can we have a talk? She's like, Oh, okay. I mean, this poor girl gets pulled off for a talk. You would think you're watching the bachelor. Can't see it for a second. So I'm sorry to interrupt. Can I have the moment? Yeah. So he's talking to her. He's like, so, uh, I was wondering like, I was thinking like, so Max told me that like, if it weren't for Lauren to be interested in me So you think you know like you want to hang out. We can go on a date chocolate men's and stuff She's like um Bobby
Starting point is 00:23:34 But then Malia does that thing that I really hate which is like you know I grew up with a bunch of brothers. So I've always just been like one of the guys. I'm like oh Fuck that saying I hate it so much. It's the biggest cop out of like, I don't know what the cop out of, but it's cop out of something and I don't like it. And it's also kind of giving them an excuse to just like be totally casual
Starting point is 00:23:55 jerking off around you. It's like, I'm so used to it. I have so many brothers, like I get it. You've all got boners, you know. It's like, whoa, Malia. And also never tell a guy, well, I mean, you are my type. I mean, you work, it's like, whoa, Malia, and also never tell a guy, well, I mean, you are my type. I mean, you work out in your hands, and he's like, well, there we go. I'm bobby
Starting point is 00:24:14 in the mornings in the Scranban, so, yeah, and he's like, well, so, so can we just like hang out. And she says, well, I mean, if it's just like hang out to get to know each other Then I guess and he's like Yeah, did it She's mine Here's why I don't like when someone says they're just one of the guys because I feel like the girls Let's say they're just one of the guys other ones who invariably wind up with like the real douchebag, like an atom, and then their relationship has drama, and then she like pulls everyone into the drama, and then she still expects to be called one of the guys.
Starting point is 00:24:53 No, that's lady drama. That's lady drama. Not boy drama. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Thank you. Yeah. Um, so let's say you can't. By the way, she also can't claim to be one of the fish too. You can't be, you can't say, I'm just one of the fish and just one of the guys. It's one of the other. Yeah. Yeah, I know you're listening.
Starting point is 00:25:11 Learn your lesson. It's a fish or guys. You have to choose. Choose your path. Choose your path. Choose your path. So meanwhile, a breakfast, Kenny, Kenny's like, whoa, well, we got eggs. So you know what I guess if we had he's like, if we hadn't asked for eggs, we'd have the same breakfast every day.
Starting point is 00:25:32 granola and yogurt and group played and then young young which is shades of shades of Leon. Remember Leon's whole things. He just cooked the same thing for every charter group. It was like lamb cheeks, lamb cheeks, lamb cheeks. Yeah, but this guy's not even cooking. He's just like putting out some kashi, you know, ass.
Starting point is 00:25:52 So he brings Malia a little dessert thing. And she's like, well, kissing the dessert does come with certain perks. Like, spinach in my omelet. Yeah. A lot of desserts. Yeah, yeah, it brings really, well, there's two, Adam's whole thing. It's the kissgiving her special food, you know. I am that. Yeah. A lot of desserts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It brings really, well, there's two, Adam's whole thing.
Starting point is 00:26:07 It's the kiss giving her special food, you know? So it's like in this case, he gives her like a chocolate mousse later on, but in this case, he's like, hey, Malia, you want some spinach in your omelette? She's like, yes. Just one of the sous chefs. So he gives her that. So she's like, and Kenny, meanwhile, they're still he gives it that. So she's like, uh, um, and Kenny, meanwhile, they're still complaining about this replay. And he's like, well,
Starting point is 00:26:28 I guess maybe our standards have been too high in the past, which is not what you want to hear from your guests on the boat. Yeah. It's like when someone's like talking too deeply about a hamburger at Wendy's and they're like, well, I mean, we are at Wendy's. This is a new mommy. That's not what you want to say when they're paying so much. Yeah. So the whole thing is that they are now going to do like an obstacle course thing where it's going to be crew versus guests.
Starting point is 00:26:53 It's like this whole fun thing. They're in teams. They go down slides. And it's like this big, antique montage of stuff chaos, essentially. I wasn't really following it. It was just a splash splash and weird costumes and jumping off things whatever and Lauren being like they cheated. I just have to say nothing really happened here but I'd like
Starting point is 00:27:14 that the captain's like all right crew we're about to do the anchor and they're like well you want me she's like this is quite normal on boats. This whole ink ring thing. We are, we're not trying to recreate speed two. We just want to drop an anchor. This is not requiring any special effects here. So by the way, one thing that did come out of the obstacle course is in the middle of it, Adam's like, oh, I hate hot dogs.
Starting point is 00:27:43 I'm like, fuck you. Fuck you. Hot dogs are a national treasure. Sir. So Captain, after the obstacle course, she's like, wow, what wasn't that fun? Aren't y'all glad you took a rest? Now, come on, I prepared some shots for you guys.
Starting point is 00:28:00 And Kenny's like, whoa, thanks, Cap, makes up for the onions in my food. She's like, I am shocked to hear the word onion come up. What the fuck? I love moments like that, one. Like out of nowhere, obstacle, obstacle, obstacle, onion, boom, the music just dropped me that noise.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Like we just heard the crack in the surface. Boom. Oh no. Hold on, one second. Something just happened. Something not good, Ben. You still there? Oh, I'm here.
Starting point is 00:28:29 Did someone say the word onion? You know, I stretched out my foot here at Medesque. And I guess I undid the cord to my monitor and it went out and I was like, oh, bitch. If this stopped recording this whole entire, I'm not talking about onions again. I'm not going through act one and act two of onions again. Okay. It's gonna be just a last episode, but it worked out. Don't worry. Don't worry. We're still here. And what we do know is that Sandy has finally learned that there is an onion trouble in paradise. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Don't don't don't don't don't don't So first though so then I love that movie sound effect and it's still on every preview that comes out though like Tom cruise the mummy
Starting point is 00:29:13 It's all because of inception ever since inception every single movie like It's stupid saying like this must be a romcom I'm trying to figure out what was our last number. I was getting stuff organized and I went on to both SoundCloud and Art 19 And our last episode is like, they're just both wrong. I'm like, hello, Stoner, get it right. Okay, there's my public apology. Well, easily fixable, easily fixable. So don't worry about it. You aren't going to fix it though, right? Yeah, I just say it.
Starting point is 00:30:00 Everything's so awkward now that bugs is fixing all the numbers. So there is awkwardness because Hannah and bugs... Well, Hannah and bugs have some awkward moment because of Adam's comment, and that's like, I think bugs, I think this the power of bugs is like, everything's been so awkward between us and you. Everything needs to be fine, but near it's like strange because of Adam and I'm just like, I didn't do anything, don't punish me because of it in school months. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.
Starting point is 00:30:35 I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?
Starting point is 00:31:03 And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. And the guest are at the table and Kenny's like so bugsy he seemed like you've got it under control and Hannah somewhere is like good damn it all kill that little
Starting point is 00:31:30 bit that little boom chomp hey why don't you and Kenny just get married which like the one I mean sweet with Kenny bugs bugs so she goes ever after so bugs he's like hey do I deal with this so down in the kitchen Hannah Hannah's telling the So she goes. That was ever after. So bugs. He's like, hey, do I deal with this? So down in the kitchen, Hannah's telling the shaft she goes,
Starting point is 00:31:51 can the protect his be thinning crunchy and ramshap? And he goes, no, she is. But ramshap. And he said, no. So like chips. Well, he goes, but I can make French fries. And I mentioned that because it's important, because she goes, because then he does what you just said, which is like, I mean but I can make French fries. I mentioned that because it's important because she goes,
Starting point is 00:32:05 because then he does what you just said, which is like, I mean, I can make chips. She's like, I'm gonna just round shaped. It's like, oh, so you want chips or you want French fries? Because initially you said French fries. She's like, I never said French fries. He's deep in ass twats. Yeah, who's the one you said he can make French fries?
Starting point is 00:32:19 And she goes, no, no, chips. And he goes, well, I need 20 minutes to heat up the deep fire. You fucking asshole. How are you going to make the French fries in the microwave? You would have had to do that either way. You ask. Yeah. And also, like, why are you making this so difficult?
Starting point is 00:32:37 If she says, can you make them, like, long and round, just say, oh, yeah, sure, like a chip, right? You do exactly what she was talking about immediately. Because she's trying to cock block me. like long and round just say oh yeah sure like a chip right you knew exactly what she was talking about immediately. She's trying to cock block me she's trying to Kenny McCock. She's trying to Kenny cock me. We don't know Kenny. I hate Kenny's.
Starting point is 00:32:54 I hate Kenny's how they want chips instead of fries. I mean this is America. I have some fries instead of a chip. So the captain comes in she's's like, oh, hey, there, chef Adam, quick question. Someone told me that they thought there were onions in their food. You put an onion in their food. And he's like, dun dun dun dun dun dun. Then it cuts to lunch and they're having hamburgers. And the wife is like, no, onions. And back to the kitchen. Adam's like, well, I did cook with onion. OK.
Starting point is 00:33:28 At first, at first, but then after that, he didn't. Nope. Just once, just the first time I've been taking care of it ever since. And by first time, I of course, I'm talking about all the meals because it's basically a continuum of food, right? So this is still the first time, right? I'm not in trouble. And she says, OK, then Adam, you know Adam you know just be careful preference sheets and all he's like yeah
Starting point is 00:33:49 Cap Well, I want the captain to like me so I need to do what I can do to hide the truth Yeah, this is the big cover on everyone thinks hopefully you hide that better than you hide the onion to your fucking loser onion the onion to your fucking loser. Onion, onion, hide her. I should also mention in between the in the midst of this, uh, Bobby is standing on the deck and some other bloke was by causing like a wake and Bobby. Oh gosh, I hate that captain. You know what?
Starting point is 00:34:16 When I buy a boat, I'm going to name it to see you next Tuesday. Come on, Bobby. First of all, arrest development did that joke and they did it much better with the C word. Remember that second of all, just like the real thing you ain't ever gonna get it. Bobbi. Maybe a canoe. Just watch it sail on by girl.
Starting point is 00:34:33 Yeah. So now meanwhile, up on the dining deck, Kenny starts telling Hannah about the onions. He's like, by the way, they were onions last night and so now it's like, well, I said surely Kenny He wouldn't do that after the night before right Hannah right what do you think Hannah right? So Hannah's like oh my god this fucking idiot and Hannah I think I think she tells like Max or whatever she's like this onions again And now everyone's getting mad at Adam feel like this guy's gonna fuck over our tip like this is so
Starting point is 00:35:04 Stupid I even max is like and he's making Hannah look an idiot because Hannah's one is gonna bring out the food It makes Hannah look like she's not like delivering the message or whatever. Yeah, so Then he goes to bugs. Yeah, she's like listen. He little Adam bum buddy You're probably the only one who knows the truth and helping him get away with it. Are you conspiring to help Adam? She just asked bugsy and bugsy just likes, oh shit. Oh, that's what it is. Yeah. She's like, I'm going to have to be in between them and the onion walls, the great onion wall 2017.
Starting point is 00:35:36 So Hannah goes into the galley and is like, Adam, with any onions in his soup, they're asking about his like, yeah, I put onions in the soup. And then asking about it. He's like, yeah, I put onions in a soup. And then Adam goes, Hannah sees us a moment to chuck me under the bus. I'm like, she's not throwing you under the bus. You did it to yourself. You did something after being told, no, like three times. You did it again, and now you're mad at Hannah
Starting point is 00:36:00 because she's coming back to say that they're not happy about it. You threw yourself under the onbus. He's like, well, they were blended. I thought it was funny. She goes, oh, so you want me to tell him he's right? And he said, well, you can tell him and ruin our tip or she goes, you're the one ruining it.
Starting point is 00:36:17 The tip yourself, buddy. Yeah, seriously. And that is that sort of like annoying personality where they just turn it around, make themselves the victim like you're doing it to me. Yeah. No, you're the one who created this situation and you put Hannah in a really weird position where she has either lie to the guests or lie to the captain or something like that. You know, it's something like, uh, he says something like, God damn it, Hannah. She's like, what am I doing? you're standing you're bitching is what you're doing yeah can't make these people happy and then it it's like Kenny onions yeah and then there's that kind of thing on you and then there's like some like burgers there something she's like oh fine and he's ready he's like yeah they've been sitting there
Starting point is 00:37:01 oh my god yeah and he's like well look the first that first night you really pissed me off And she's like it was the preference sheet. I just gave them what they asked for and he goes, oh, yeah, what's that resting bitch face? And what you didn't see is that Sandy had me entered into the gallery and she's like whoa whoa Adam Whoa, what's going on here? So So then so then basically they have to have like a moment and Sandy defends Hannah and Sandy is like there should be no onions. It's a fucking problem. Okay, just don't put fucking onions in their food You stupid idiot. Yes, okay. I mean, it's a monster. Yeah, buddy and fuck fuck I love that. I was so happy that that that that Sandy was there for it to defend
Starting point is 00:37:46 Hannah. I was like, this is not right. This is not right. This probably happens at every workplace across America. Yeah, he's an ass, but it did kind of make me wish that she would have just been like, not get off the boat. Little fuck. He's fun face. Well, the producers were like, you can't fire him because there's too much like good stuff coming out of the kitchen now. So sorry, you have to keep him on board. Yeah, I guess that's like when Captain Lee didn't fire Rocky like 12 different times. He's like, well, where are you going to get us to right now? We're in the we're in the we're in the second second charter of the season. There's just not enough time to get a new stew.
Starting point is 00:38:21 Well, look, I mean, if Adam at least whips out a mermaid tail and starts rolling around on the ground and singing show tunes, then okay, he can stay. Otherwise, get the fuck off. It can't be hard to find a mediocre chef. Yeah, exactly. So now Bobby starts complaining because he keeps getting getting placed on the opposite end of the boat than from Mollia and even from West. He's like, now he just wants to be the West at the very least. He just wants to get to learn something from his bowson. And he's like, I can't even get in West time. I mean, where's my mint? Bobby. So let's see, last year, been tattled and it burnt me, but this directly affects
Starting point is 00:39:03 the guests. And now I have no choice. But the title. So she goes up to the captain and she says, I want to make it clear that the issue wasn't just onions on the first night who went out of his way to put onions on the second night to be funny. And the captain's like, well, I should fire him.
Starting point is 00:39:19 The fact that he lied to me, it's almost psychotic. What sort of psycho lies to me, Sandy? What a psychotic person? You know, that Norman baits the whole plot of that movie just lying to Sandy. You know, I'm glad they put Ted Bundy in jail because I heard he was a serial liar. There's always lied about things. So you know what's a psychotic, you know what's a scary movie working girl look at that psycho changing her resume Saying that she's a boss when she's not what a psycho. Although I will say never had trouble docking that boat
Starting point is 00:39:55 That very sure new Willie Who better work at working girl. Oh, yeah, that's a great a great example of anchoring right there So Adam meanwhile is, it's like, hey, Melia, you want to desert? She's like, yeah, bathing, making out with the shop, Berks. So she's eating her dessert and he goes, yeah, I like doing nice things for girls, because my parents are still married and I've seen romantic acts. And so I like to bestow those romantic acts upon whoever is the most fuckable so I look the youngest and the most virile and a higher group of men.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Jesus, what part of romance involves you giving her some chocolate most and saying get it in your mouth girl? Yeah, he's like, yes, while there's cream I made. To me, I think all those little gifts, like, those are distractions from his inner, from his inner asshole. You know, like romantic things are when Wes gives you like a rag and it's like, I'll give you a rag because I thought it would be nice if we both washed down the tick together, you know, it's not you giving the chocolate mousse, which is like a fake.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Yeah, you already had to make it work. Yeah, you know, it's like, hey, I'm, I just finished work with Ben. Hey, here's a gift for you. It's a copy of the podcast we did today. That's my, that's my romantic act. Yeah, to my boyfriend. So, but now, interestingly enough, Malia finds out about all this onion gossip and she's like I can't believe that he did that with the onions. I mean, I didn't know the side of him existed I've sort of turns me off. I'm like, oh please. You're not turned off at all
Starting point is 00:41:39 You turns you on Did you notice that she's like this isn't, I didn't see the side of Adam before and she's eating the chips he made. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, so funny. So it's time for the guest departure. And Kenny is like, hey, hey guys, hope I don't have onion breath
Starting point is 00:41:59 because I'm about to give a speech. He's like, less God you and your exterior crew. You kicked butt and Miss Hannah. Wow. I don't know who packed your patients up this trip. But it's like you had 10 years of therapy since last time I saw you. Bugs, Lauren, don't know either of you well.
Starting point is 00:42:21 Lauren, I have a feeling you're a whore, but damn it. You're good at cleaning the bathroom. Now but uh Adam you know I don't like onions and so I just like to capture this with one suggestion and the chef area you know we had the same breakfast every day yeah. A lot of onions but Hannah was great so thanks. Yeah yeah he basically says if we didn't ask for eggs, we would have had the same thing every single day. It's like so awkward. But I was proud of the guy for saying something. Adam did deserve to be publicly humiliated in front of the crew.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Yeah. Adam's probably mad every time he even goes to Danny's and so many see so many things. Like so many different eggs on the menu. It's like God damn it. Now with Danny's and Kenny's, they can't trust anyone. That's my hammy that you're putting that moon over. I don't like it. So now it's time for the tip meeting and, and you know, the producers try to make us think that they're going to have like a really shitty tip, but I knew it was all misdirection.
Starting point is 00:43:25 And sure enough, they had the biggest tip they've had of the season. And they got like $20,000, which is funny because it was like two, a charter ago or two cars ago, they got a really shitty tip of like $12,000, right? Oh, I guess that was for one of the best. It was their biggest. Never mind. Yeah, it was their biggest tip yet. Yeah, $20,000.
Starting point is 00:43:41 So then Adam till apologizes the group for what he did. he's like, yeah, I added the audience this you bet Despite so I'm sorry everyone So I was like, okay, you're a busy Nassau got it. I feel like a good confession though at least he confessed Yeah so then So then what whizz starts floating with Malia again and you know he tells he's like, it really sucks because I always feel like I'll have you short and things are going well and then she goes inside and then talks to Adam and she comes outside doesn't care about me anymore. It really sucks. I was like, oh, perwass. That does suck. Yeah, we have a good time.
Starting point is 00:44:18 But then she passes Adam because she has to go and solely and she'll pass right by her and then it's all different I'm like yeah, that sounds like someone I really want as my yeah my girlfriend It's like time to move on. She is nice until she passes someone And then yeah, it's all over. I think you need to keep looking. I mean, I know you're on a small But everything but maybe she really is just one of the guys because that's a very guy thing to do Yeah, so then there's now a time for the Sandy and Adam meeting and Sandy's like, so what's going on at him? What's what's happening here? You seem like you're not well rested. Is that what's going on here? He basically says he added audience to the soup. He's like, I just felt
Starting point is 00:44:58 like the soup needed the flavor. And she's like, but you said it was you did it as bite. He's like, no, yeah, I said that because I knew they wouldn't believe me anyway. I'm like, this is nothing adds up to me here, you know? Yeah, it's just lying. Why don't, why don't you just tell the fucking truth? You already told it. Yeah. So he's like, yeah, well, they wouldn't believe that it was an accident.
Starting point is 00:45:17 So I said it was revenge. She's like, well, next charter, I want to see your best because I want to fire this little asshole, but I can't find a chef midseason and croix. Yeah, yeah, it's like yeah, you could because basically all they have to do is grill some fish. And there's plenty of fish just get some brands, you know, this isn't that hard. Get rid of him. There are professional chefs and croix. I believe they're not. Yeah, maybe even Italy on the other side of the sea there. So, um,'s like, so you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna keep an eye on him, except, you know, from the hours of 10 p.m. to 8 a.m. because that's when I'm sleeping, can't have both the can't have eyes open then,
Starting point is 00:45:53 you know what I'm saying? Yeah, Sandi lost some points here. She should have just asked his ass. Yeah. So getting ready to go out. Yeah. They're like, yeah, finally we get to go out. Someone's like, yeah, it's gonna be good
Starting point is 00:46:04 because it's Friday and Lauren goes, oh my God, it's Friday. Oh, shit. It's like that's so Lauren. And Adam, meanwhile, he's like, well, I'm gonna go out with everyone because I want to prove to everyone that I'm a member of the team. So I'm gonna go out with everyone. I'm like, oh, what a sacrifice you're making. Doing something that you probably would have done anyway. Just like Jesus did you know Just went to have dinner with people Yeah, just to assure them that it's like shut up. So yeah, I was like actually he did do that Yeah, it really was like patting patting himself. Oh, yeah, yeah, Jesus to do that
Starting point is 00:46:39 Pat himself on the back for being you know, I'm gonna make the ultimate sacrifice I'm gonna enjoy a night out in Croatia with the rest of the crew just to show that I'm a team player. Also, to make sure the West doesn't move up to first place and Bobby doesn't have a chance to slide his retainer ass in the second. So they're showing up to make sure no one moves his cheese. Yeah, exactly. So they all are going out. And now Hannah, Hannah has decided that she hits Bugsie now.
Starting point is 00:47:09 She is fully does not want anything to do with Bugsie. She's like, her head's gotten quite big, which is strange already as it is. And I'm not going to talk to anymore. I'm like, Hannah, you're falling into Adam's games. Maybe so mad. And then poor Bugsie runs up to try and be included in a selfie. Yeah, the little shots on the show cracked me up.
Starting point is 00:47:29 So they're having shots at Dan everybody's loosening up. And Buxi's like, has about that last shot. Oh, they've been my favorite. So for Hans Dan, how do you feel, Schiff? And he's like, I'll give you guys all my shares of the tip because it could have gone so wrong with what I did Which and he knew they would say that which is why he offered he was never gonna offer his money out But you know, yeah, if you really wanted to make up for it
Starting point is 00:47:58 You would pay the check for this dinner and say that Exactly by dinner exactly and only is like wow. I really I really respect Adam's offer so much I'm like of course you did that's what he did it. It takes nerve and also a status to finish it nobody else gets It's almost like he was giving each of us our own individual chocolate misses I'm on a blow deck med. It's like someone fucking a dude for his Mercedes, you know I'm on a blow deck med. It's like someone fucking a dude for his Mercedes, you know. It's like the saddest fucking letter I've ever seen in my life. So, so now Hannah is drunk.
Starting point is 00:48:34 Well, by the way, every time Bugsie is like, what'd you guys think about Kenny? And this, what do you think? What do you think Hannah just keeps grunting because Bugsie's kind of holding court. She kind of just like getting me to this damn country right now. I wanna go back to Australia,
Starting point is 00:48:47 I was wondering what have a country, my accent comes from? I think you should be drunk around anybody that you're gonna be friends with or date because you really see the other side of them. Hannah just gets these like, anger eyes, you know, like these laser eyes, like she'll kill you. And then Wes gets like, he tries to be broy.
Starting point is 00:49:06 He's like, we're, Edim's not looking good. Maybe Malia will see his spiteful cunning and slion as money can solve being a dick. Look. Burn, burn, burn. Good one last. You still have Ross Geller here. Burn, burn.
Starting point is 00:49:22 So, so Hannah is drunk. And now she's talking to Lauren. She's bitching about Adam and bugs the Lauren and they're being buddy buddy and and bugs for bugs is watching and she's like I can see what they did over there. I don't understand. It's like very transparent. I got a phone and I know she's mad at me because I'm feeling eating. I have an amazing room. And Lauren Hannah's manipulation is so hilarious because she's trying to add them everybody. So she's like trying to manipulate them with her gossip. So she's like, yeah, I'll tell you this, you know, I don't give a fuck who ya.
Starting point is 00:49:57 But if you take the second steamroll, you don't let your head get blown up. You know, it's like I've been telling everyone on this chatter Lawrence the cool girl Lawrence a real cool girl and Lauren's like yeah See knows that she could just aim Lauren whoever she wants now I'm like well like go blab She's like I always knew that you could handle the waterfall all by yourself But it was bug sequences that she go with you. I knew you could do it, Lauren. You have a wonderful Steve. I knew it. Fuck you, Bagsie. So then...
Starting point is 00:50:33 Bagsie's like the nicest person in the world. Yeah. So Malia's like sort of flirting with Wes a little bitch. She's like, I love his accent. And Adam's like, I'm going to go back to the boat. So he goes back to the boat. Yeah. So he's basically mad that he's not getting flirted with. And Malia's flirting with Wes and he acts like he's just feeling really bad about the whole incident on the boat. Yeah, he's doing this.
Starting point is 00:50:58 It's a whole performance that he's doing. So he's heading back to the boat. And once he leaves, everyone's like, great. Now we can bitch about him. So they're all just bitching about at him and how cocky he is and the onion thing and like what the fuck, or whatever. And Malia goes,
Starting point is 00:51:12 hey team, one of our members is actually having a really bad night, okay? I'm like, you shut up. It was his fault. It was all his fault. He's having a bad night because he didn't listen. He got called out for it. He was reprimanded. It's his fault. Okay. So don't like feel bad for him that he's feeling bad because he got in trouble for the own shit that his own shit that he did. Okay. Yeah, stupid. And then where's this like, well, I haven't had one good night at because of all this drama. And if you're going to save that guy after what he's done, then I don't know you
Starting point is 00:51:46 She just wants a bad guy and one day you want a good guy, but they'll all be taken Yeah, I was like yes, Wes. There we go. That's that's like a talk. I like out of Wes So he probably will so gonna he's so gonna beg for her hand in marriage He'll be there. You'll be there and And she'll just keep getting messages every time Adams and Tom. Just like, what? We were just being friends. We drove around in his van. Wes, what's the big deal?
Starting point is 00:52:14 Wes needs to learn how to be petty. He needs to find some hot chicken Croatia and make out with her and then see what Milya does. That's a classic petty-ness, but he'll never do that. But in this relationship, he's the woman. And that's just not work on the man as much. You know what I mean? The roles are kind of reversed. Yeah. Because Malia is even acting like, you know, she's like, oh, Adam's emotional. I'll chase him. She's totally being a man. See, that's a thing. I've been totally supportive of Malia through all this. I've been like, listen, I'm not going to slouch him or anything. She has a right to hook up with whoever she wants to hook up with, a kiss whoever she
Starting point is 00:52:49 wants. They're the ones treating her like an object. But where she starts to lose points with me is when she starts to do the, oh my God, you guys, Adam is really hurting tonight. And it's like not cool that we're just all gossiping about him. I'm like, yeah, well, you know, like you're the one who like, and peril, their whole tip and everything. So, you know, like you use the one. I'm like, and peril, their whole tip and everything. So, you know, fuck that guy.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Okay. Fuck that guy. I'm totally invested. I can't wait to see what happens next. All right. Let's see into that. What's next, Ben? Well, as it is Wednesday, it is time for our favorite segment,
Starting point is 00:53:20 the listener spotlight. Yeah. Spot one. So this one's a special one because for those of you don't know, the crap in spotlight or listener spotlight, we don't even know what we named our own segment. It's when people who support us on Patreon at the listener spotlight level, we turn the podcast over to them and for two minutes, they get to talk to us about stuff. So one of our premium sponsors, Mia Hansen-Aloha, recently celebrated a birthday last week.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Mia. Happy day, girl. Happy day, girl. And we have not actually gotten a listener supporter thing in from her, but she still has one. I'm just gonna play it. Ready? Yeah. Hi, this is Mikayla and Mikayla and we are Mia Aloha's daughters and today is a very social day because it's around 50th birthday. Our mom Mia works from home and all day every day she listens to watch what happens and it's her favorite podcast ever. The really the only reason why she watches
Starting point is 00:54:22 Bravo is so she can keep up to date with all the TV shows and know what you guys are talking about because she loves your show so much. And her favorite parts of the show are when you guys do the impressions of Ramona and Captain Sandy. Those parts make her laugh so hard. Sometimes I'll hear crying coming from her office and I'm like, Mom, what's wrong? But really, she's just laughing so hard because you guys crack her up so much. So we just wanted to say thank you, wash-what-crapins ends for being some laughter to our mom's work day. Happy birthday mom.
Starting point is 00:54:47 We love you and thank you wash what crap ends. Oh my god. Lovely. A thing that's ever happened on this podcast. Literally I can't. That made me feel things. That is the cutest fucking. That was so cute. You girls are so so cute you girls are so You guys are so sweet that you did that for your mom that is and they like wrote it down and stuff And they alternated and it was so nice Mia. I hope you're crying right now because I'm practically crying So so nice so happy birthday. And thank you for being a premium sponsor for all these months now. That is so awesome. So we really appreciate you too.
Starting point is 00:55:32 I'm for so long. She was one of our first. Yeah, exactly. And now we have so many premium sponsors. We're running out of slots. It's amazing. But Mia, happy birthday. Your girls are great.
Starting point is 00:55:42 And I'm sorry, Mia. We, you know, I'm sorry Mia. We know you love a Ramona impersonation, but it's just, it's day class sake to make us do it for your birthday, okay? Happy birthday, okay? Like, your kids made that message for you. And the only thing they forgot to say, maybe it was cut out, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:56:01 but you're just like the other friends, and the friends like you better, because you're like the cool mom., but you're just like the other friends and the friends like you better because you're like the cool mom, like you're so sexy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Well, this is crazy. I'm just remembering now. One time was a little girl. I went to Hawaii and I said, that one had my birthday here and Joan Deen Parsons said,
Starting point is 00:56:20 if you want to have your birthday here, you might as well just stay here and never come back home. And to this day, I've never been back to Hawaii. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm afraid of Hawaii now, okay? Okay. Love ya, so good. Thank you so much for being a premium happy birthday, baby. Happy birthday, and if you also want to participate
Starting point is 00:56:42 in listener spotlight, go to patreon.com slash watch where crap ends and sign up there and you can sign up at the listener spotlight level and then you know we will reach out to you and ask you for a recording and there's also other levels you can you can do so if you don't want to do the list of spotlight you can do something else or you can you can do so if you don't want to do the spotlight you can do something else or you can just listen to podcasts which we also appreciate so everyone have a great rest of your hump day tomorrow we are back for real house lives of New York City and New Orleans big wedding is everyone excited oh can you believe it girls we love you guys we will talk to you tomorrow. Bye! Hey Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon
Starting point is 00:57:41 Music app today. Or, you can listen Addfree with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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