Watch What Crappens - #494 RHOC: Jesus Take The Wheel (Of Brie)

Episode Date: July 11, 2017

Real Housewives of Orange County returns for a new season. Vicki brings Tamra closer to Jesus, and Shannon closer to food. AW! Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media.

On Twitter, we're at what-crapins. On Instagram and Facebook, at what-crapins. We'll see you there. I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never had to, I've never the podcast about all that crappy love to talk about on you your braves I'm Ronnie Karen from the Rosepricks podcast. It's about the bachelor watch it listen to it here at Just like I snuckie and I'm here with my gorgeous talented little partner and BFF Ben Mandelgur the B side blog and the bandsaw Blinda, Hello, Bean. Hello, Ronnie. How are you doing today?

So good. What a day. It is, you know, our first real housewives of Orange County recap for the season. How can it not be a brilliant day? I know. I'm very excited. But before we jump into that, I just want to alert everyone in case you didn't tune into our Potomac episode yesterday, that our live show in Los Angeles on September 2nd, we have tickets on sale for that. You go to ticketmaster.com or go to watercrabbons.com, which will link you to the tickets. Be sure to go get a ticket, so that way, because we don't know when it's going to sell out, but it probably will, because our New York show sold out very quickly.

But this one's a much bigger show. So there's there are more tickets. It's September 2nd. If you are, if you don't live in LA, well, guess what? You have enough time. Planning a trip to come to LA to come see it. We have some special guests that we are trying, that we are lining up. And we have decided that we are going

to do something really fun and special. We are going to give the Watercraft and Recap treatment to the Seminal Bravo episode Scary Island. So, Watercraft is doing Scary Island. So, come for a second, down to Los Angeles, the telegram theater, ticketmaster.com, Watercraft and dot com. Yeah, so one more announcement to get out of the way before we get going is happy, happy, happy birthday

to Amanda Daron, Brian Halabado. Happy birthday, suckers. Your family has been all over us for the past couple of weeks, John, and also other family members, which I've only got his email of. I think that this is like a, both a happy birthday celebration and a reprimand. No, no, no, no, well, you have to be up us because you'll never get it. Unless you tell me the day of this is what needs to happen. And here's some cold, hard cash. I'll be like, no, I don't remember. So your family loves you. You guys happy birthday to you both.

We love you. Yeah, happy birthday. And thanks for listening. It means a lot to be that you guys support us. So happy birthday. We love you. We love you. We love when anybody that listens to this podcast has a birthday.

And you know whoever you are right now in your car, and it's your birthday, and you're like, no one will wish me a happy birthday. We'll have be mother f***ing birthday to you too. Okay. Yeah. And you know, is there anything more natural than being born today? It's July, July 11th. It's natural. 7 11.

Is there anything more prime than being born on a day of 7 11, which are both prime numbers? And that's Amazon Prime Day. And it's Amazon Prime Day. Do you understand that I've been waiting for this, like, mother-effing Christmas? Last year I got a Vitamix. Girl, I got a toaster oven last year, and I'm still making baked potatoes in that fucker. I'm coming up with all kinds of things I can make in a toaster.

I write down how long cook times are for everything. I can't wait to figure out what I'm going to buy tomorrow. I don't know what I'm going to, I'll probably like wind up getting him up or something. I don't even need him up. Do you want to hear my list? Yes. Long straws, fountain pans, welcome mat, a dog noise sunbeam buzzer, dog holes, a key ring, a Kindle, a desk tray, and what else do I need, Ben?

Tell me more things I need. A ceiling fan. Oh, I already have a ceiling fan. Some guy from Glee put it in, and it like, I think it's going to fall down and kill me because I can guard it. It doesn't sound. Yeah, you know how when you go on taskrabbit, like, people from TV shows come over because, you know, actors are poor unless they're like famous ones.

He's like, yeah, I'm from Glee. And I was like, you are because I'm, I watch it first two seasons. And he's like, no, I'm not a lead, but like I'm on there a lot. You'll, you'll recognize me if you watch your rest of it. I'm like, well, thanks for coming over to put on my fan. Love your butt. And then he talked about his like dance career. And I was so not interested,

but he put in my fan, he was really nice and cute, and now the fan is doing this. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, my TV bracket like put up my TV and I was like he's sort of cute and I was able to face books tock him and figure out that he was like also an actor who's had bit parts on different shows and also I think had a dance background. Hmm. Maybe we had the same task. I had a guy. Was he like, uh, Blatino?

He was like, letation. Letation. Yeah, I think. Yeah, I was probably him and he's married and I think he has a baby, but he's like facial hair He might have had a I mean honestly, I don't know like he wasn't like you'd enough to masturbate to just like you know I just put up a fan. No offense. I remember my task rabbit. He was going he was wearing strap pants and was going Commando and I was like this is pretty intense. I feel like that would be, I would just have him like,

put a win, you know, like, hey, could you open my window for me? This is all a great way to say that real house has a Orange County has returned and we are very excited, almost as excited as having a cast member of Glee show up to install something. I have been, yeah, I'm sorry to get so gay, porny, I'm kind of loopy today. I'm yeah, what a way to open a show.

Soups, loops. Yeah, I'm a little loopy today. But it makes it more fun. And especially when we're talking about this show, what a fucking amazing return. I love this show so much. I'm so glad it's back. I mean, I, I like this first episode. I did not think it was fucking amazing, but I thought I enjoyed it.

I'm excited to hear why you got so excited. Well, the craziest people are just craziest ever. Also, I just am loving Fat Shannon, and I'm loving that she's literally blaming Vicki for making her fat. I mean, I thought there was not enough fat Shannon to be honest. Yes, and I love her like we can all relate to it. I can certainly relate to it.

Me too. I talk about my weight shit all the time on this. A button popped off of my shorts. It doesn't even work. OK. Oh my god, I understand. I understand. But I'm blaming similar to Shannon.

I refused to take responsibility. I'm blaming like similar to to Shannon. I refused to take responsibility. I'm blaming space mountain. No, you know what you you have to buy new clothes. Fucking Tony Robbins. That's why I hate to well, I mean, there's a lot of reasons to hate Tony Robbins. Let's face it. But like my biggest reason is because he said in some weight loss tape that I downloaded off the pirate bay. He's like, if you lose weight, if you gain weight, don't buy new clothes because you need that uncomfortability to remind you that you what you need to do. I was like, fuck you, you big fucking gorilla. Don't tell me what to do. And don't sit here and make me even more miserable. You know, it shouldn't be about how miserable you are. You ask.

Well, I, I, I'm going to say the reason why I popped a button off was because the shorts were old and the button was loose and that when I was on Space Mount, the little safety bar was like chafing up against a two-mile journey, all those violent turns. And the button just could not go up against that. So I'm not going to say has anything to do with the- No, I love it. ... I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. the, you know, they are aggressive, violent things and you're often in the dark about what's really going on and yet you always go back for more. That's an interesting way to look at Vicki Gumbelsen, but I also really like the way you look at your bet and falling off because the refusal to take responsibility is part of the joy of weight gain. And I'm really glad that as thin as you are and as good as you take care of yourself, you can experience that too. If only for a week. I love you. Hugs.

Fat hugs. So the episode, the season begins with a little montage. And the first thing we see is Tamara doing doing what she does best, Frightening Children. Okay. Well, it actually started off with the thing we saw in the preview, which is like the horror movie opening of Seagulls, Ramona Laughing. And then we hear, you are despicable. I will never, ever speak to you again. And all these like ghosty lines as like an abandoned bike is on the beach. And then everyone just yelling and saying awful things to each other.

And then it goes, this season on the real house of the Mornscan. You know, what was interesting about this, this, this first episode was that there was a little bit of a creative decision to make these really interesting transitions between scenes where they would cut to some footage of the beach or whatever, and it would just be natural sounding. It was sort of eerie, and then the music would kick in with the next shot. Did you notice that? Yeah. I sort of liked it.

It sort of added some menace to the whole show. Yeah, they're getting all artistic They're like it is kind of a horror movie, you know, yeah So yeah, we'll skip a bunch of that stick because we already did a full hour long recap No need to talk about about 30 second segment that we saw I think that's a bonus episode you guys can find it was a couple of weeks ago So anyway, yeah, we open with Tamara in the montage or Grand Kid is in attendance and she goes, did you say oh, shut. Wait, what? What'd you say? And it's like, nah, and she goes, did you just say, oh, shut batch

to the Grand Kid. Now, we're in that household with that Grand kid ever learned to talk like that. No kidding. I know. She's like, Hey, did you just say batch batch? Beach a boo. Beach a boo. Batch a batch. Batch a boo. Vicki. Then we go over to Vicki who's in her office and Kelly's visiting and Vicki's like, Oh, Hey, this is Lidda. This is Lidda. You know, she works here and she goes, Hey, Lidda, that's Kelly. She has big, huge nails. And Linda's like, how do you wipe your butt? Kelly said that. And Kelly goes, I don't. No, Linda said that. No. Linda had the nails. Can we have the nails? Oh my god, male fight. Linda had the nails and Kelly was like, how do you wipe your butt? Okay. Well, that makes more sense to someone who makes for a biggie is like, I don't

wipe my butt. Yeah, I don't think that the, I don't think the homely old lady with the, the purple nails would suddenly ask Kelly how she like, what's her butt? But Kelly would ask the homely old lady house. I mean, she works for Vicki, of course she would. You want a cookie? You want to, you want to, you want a cookie? You'll poop it out later.

Don't even wipe your butt. It's don't be a little take care everything for you we then go over to the bedores where the bedore daughters are playing with Archie the dog and then you just hear Shaily don't let him go down that hill David David don't let him go down I see oh god I see oh Archie's a bad dog look look at how happy Archie! Oh God! Archie! Oh Archie's a bad dog! Look at how happy Archie isn't our happy family. We're so so happy! Archie!

Archie! Archie is winning the prize for misbehaving in the be-door household. She goes on just kidding us. Oh David David. It is 40 negative pause every season with Shannon It's like what is Shannon on David's ass about this year? Yes, David promised the kids we get a doc as soon as you move so now we have a dog and it goes down the hill I'll get the dog from the hill no a man's best friend You can tell because Archie also loves running on the beach with blonde women that I've never seen before. It's funny. I always thought man's best friend

was just a slut who works at the gaspub. That's her sugar on their short rib, but it turns out it's actually Archie the dog. Ha! Santa's doing that thing where she's we're so happy in her first scene like the cameras are back girls She doesn't hurt her kitchen she's I'm making vegetables chop in broccoli I'm gonna do some keen wobbles cuz that lost five pounds, but I don't see it. I need to lose 30 So that's 25 more mom and Shannon just looks at her kid like you are you are you in human form I'm sending you off to mom Adana and then the kids like you know why don't you go on those Kardashian trainers and she's like I'm not getting those Kardashian

trainers David David you want me to get a Kardashian trainer? David? David never wants to Kardashian trainer before David when Rob gets one. I'll get one. How about that? Shannon tells us she's like, I don't even know myself last year. I was Shannon B door this year. I'm fat Here lies Shannon B door killed by the fat cause by Vicki Gumbelson. Killed by the pneumonia killed by the killed by the pneumonia which was caused by the heavy breathing which was caused by chasing Archie down a hill which I wouldn't have to do had David not promise the kids a new dog because the rumors of Vicki spread were so terrible. Well, David did promise to put up a little fence so that way Archie was top going down that slope, but I guess he couldn't do it because we're so happy! Aaaaap! Baa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- days. The good part about Archie going down that slope is I get a few extra steps on my Fitbit. David. David. She is just waving her arm around in circles. Look, I'm walking. So Shannon literally is blaming her weight gain on Vicki because she says last year rumors were put out about David cheating again and so I ate

Okay, and I drank and I drink and I drank and I ate and I ate and I ate and I drank Oh sure So she's now making quinoa and she's and David's like hello dear. What's for dinner? She's like oh I'm gonna have quinoa again and he's like Uh, and and Shed is like, oh, David's been distant now, because I'm feeding him bad food that he doesn't like anymore.

And you know, if the warrant for Vicki Gullsin, he wouldn't still be happy. Now we're distant. And he is, but he's just like, shut up already. It's like I gave you a Val Renoul. I did everything I could to get past this. And then you get fat. And like basically it's my fault

for possibly having an affair the whole time Which you probably did let's face it as David, you know Yeah, I mean he's like keen while dear and she's like wow I'm making a suit. Is it good? Is it cut David? Texas David do you like this is it good David? Is it good? Is it good? Tell me the truth David? Tell me the truth And he's a god fine. I mean, it's good. It's not gourmet. Okay. It's not like a mass Mastros filet, okay. It's like all you're gonna get out of quinoa. She's like yeah, wow David just a like my quinoa

David David 30 to 40 grains of quinoa. That's what you get She goes in a she goes in a full quinoa spiral by the way I was hoping you'd like my keen while a little softer David It's like she takes everything so personally. He's like shut up. I said it was good Did you see David just treated my keen while You say I for the record Shannon you've never looked more gorgeous You're not fat. You're like a little plump.

You look amazing. Keep it up. You look better than ever. And men will, David would love you if you stop being so fucking insecure. Cut it out. No one likes that. It's gross. Stop it. We actually have some exclusive audio of Shannon Bedouard reacting to David's reaction to the quinoa. Okay, David, you understand that people, those people that bias that know this husband is, they're doing horrible to me. They're being horrible to me.

Every, that's in every police report ever. They're being horrible to me. All right. Well, we'll take them down 10 and see what we can do about that So meanwhile Vicki starts showing Kelly her new office plans because you bet Lidda right She's like did you go did you go see Tamras Jim? But they empty parking lot. Oh today's hell out. I love that Vicki's music. It's like But they have a ring I love that bicky's music. It's like don't tt tt tt tt t I got my real office. I want a legacy.

Like, uh, yeah, then they started talking about Tamra's fitness competition that she did last year. And there's like, Oh, what's stupid? What a stupid show. Why would anyone go to that? I mean, like, who cares? Go to work. Go to work. Yeah, get a job. Get a job. My favorite Vicky thing ever. Get a job. How many working out like that? What do they do? He'd die. It's a good job. She's talking about a legacy is C many work it out like that? What do they do? He diet shakes. Get a jab. Like she's talking about a legacy is Kack not working out for you, Vicki? Yeah. Kill all cancer. So Vicki and Kelly, they start talking shit about Shannon and Tamara and saying, and Kelly's telling Vicki that Shannon and Tamara, oh, Vicki and apology for the way they acted and start calling them the mean girls telling Vicki that Shannon and Tamara O. Vicki in apology for the way they acted and

Start calling them the mean girls and Vicki's like they're not the popular girls. We're the popular girls Okay, what is with Kelly? Kelly goes when they were talking about Tamara. I'm sorry I have so many notes on this, but I'm not gonna go on everyone. Sorry everybody, but Kelly when she goes Yeah, you remember that competition that Tamara was in? Like, it was a race to amongst pigs. What does that mean? It was a race amongst pigs. And literally don't understand because they could not be the more opposite than pigs than to be an fitness competition. You're literally the inverse, not the inverse. You're the antithesis of pig when you are in great, great

shape. It's like stupid Kelly. Um, so, uh, Vicki is like, well, you know, they just, you know what it is. It's just typical good old fashioned jealousy, you know, because they're like, you did this. You did that. Who cares? They're not the popular girls. And that's their problem. Okay. You did this and you did that. You did a lot. It wasn't just this and that. It was like a lot of bad stuff, which we've already done tons of podcasts about. We don't need to go into on the first episode, but let's not like just brush. Ficky's like, what? You know, so I said your housebiscay. Big deal. You know, who cares? Get it, that. Get a jab.

But you're the sushi girl. But to be fair, Shannon and Tamara were pretty horrific to Kelly and Ireland. We will never forget that trip. I mean, sure, Kelly did flick Tamers. No, there's one too many times. And granted, Kelly had some very curious views on Judaism, but they tried to set her up and then they denied over and over again,

they tried to set her up. And in fact Shannon tried to go after Kelly multiple times, tried to set her up and failed. And we love Shannon, but Shannon, you have to like, just stop doing that. Yeah, Shannon with the worst. And that's what she's the best, you know, that's what she's the best to. But they were playing a marathon this weekend.

And I was at this like loaded friends with my mom's. I she knew some loaded people in Austin. So I'm in this match and the lady's like, well, while I'm cooking, I have this real housewives zone because I knew you were coming over. Like, I just want to sit there and watch housewives. But it was, the volume was down. Well, we were in the kitchen. So I was like doing the voices for them and saying what was

happening and it was during that. And I was like, OK, waiter. Now bring her a quadruple to Kila and get her naked wasted. You know, it's just like doing the show. And she goes, Oh, you were so silly. Can't be like that. And then we turn it on when they're saying the most ridiculous things.

And she's like, oh, it is like that. So yeah, we're really not that far from the truth. Yeah, people don't seem to realize how ridiculous these shows truly are. Well, let's go over to Tamra's house and check out her new Marshall's accessories. It's like, wow, they got a new shipment of mirrored crucifixis at Marshall's. Yeah, exactly.

The load amount. Tamara is now saying that she has become closer to God thanks to Vicki. So you see, while Vicki may cause you gain weight, she also lets you get closer to God. And isn't that worth something? Isn't that worth something? Yeah, it's like everything in the Bible. It's like, yeah, yeah. Vicki.

That's pretty tricky for everything. Yeah. Vicki's basically like the great flood. She is. I thought I was going to have to sacrifice my son, but it's sad. I got saved in the last minute. Which is why I've still got it, Vicki.

So he don't even know the Bible. Shut up. So Lydia...'t even know the Bible, shut up. So Lydia... Did you kill the dinosaur? She goes, because we're getting to meet Lydia again this season. So she's like, at old friend and fatted me to Bible batch study, batch. So she goes to her to Lydia. batch study.

batch study. And Lydia's like, WOOOOOOAH! BYE! EEEEEEE! EEEEEEE! EEEEE! How do you do wrong? that's the thing. And Lily is like, just saking her arms and flapping her shoulders like she's sitting in Branson, Missouri, you know. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, so Tamara, Tamara goes over to Lydia's house for Bible study. And we learned that she hasn't, Tamara has not talked to Vicki in eight months.

Lydia's like, eight months. I can't even do her voice is so high, bitch. I can't even come close to her voice. I'm just gonna go the other way. I'm like eight months. One of my best memories is dancing with you two in Mexico when we ditch Gretchen and Heather after they plan that whole trip for Vicki.

I love that it's Bible study. And the first, there's all these ladies. It's like the widest ladies ever, you know, like in their diamonds and flip flops in the other room. And these two are in the kitchen bitching about Vicki. Yeah. Bible study. Lydia always has this compulsive desire to bring people together.

So now she's like, you know, she's like, well, Tamara, you and Vicki are like, you know, peas in a pod, like a really disgusting old pod that needs to be thrown out. You guys should be friends. I bet I can bring guys together. Plus Jesus, et cetera. Yeah. They're like, they're like Ed Amami when you pick up an Ed Amami to eat it. And you realize it's the discard bowl that you pick out. They've been a lot of there. bold that you picked out of it. They've been a lot of there. A lot of those things. I heard he chomped on ratchet at a mommy that someone else ate.

Yeah, you can't put the at a mommy being back into the pod. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's already done. So when Lydia tells her, I'm just the peacemaker, like member last time. My tits are literally shaking while I'm doing this and I feel like Shannon Around these girls I was the peacemaker too when she brought Alexis to the cup fitness dinner Remember and it's like okay Lydia that was one of the worst peacemaking things ever keep it up Yeah, exactly so Tamra tells Lydia about what Fiki has done to ruin everything, that's putting their gay rumors about Eddie, et cetera. And then Lydia, then she's talking about Kelly and Lydia asked about Kelly. And Tamra's like, ah, I pray for Kelly a lot. I'm like, what do you think the rest of Christianity does for you, Tamra?

What do you think the Pope does later? He's like,, oh, that Tamara. We got a fixer, God, huh? Tamara, the great flood. I have a boat built in my living room for every time you come on screen, okay? I've got two kinds of every bee on there. Save me, God. But he just doesn't help with like bitchy ladies at reunions, okay? Like he's still working on Africa.

I mean, I was about to say he's no miracle worker, but like he literally is a miracle worker So I'll stop myself literally the miracle worker recording to Christians, but I'm Jewish. So I mean I barely even know the guy I know what you guys are so excited to hear about How's Todd mom life? So guess what Megan's got a dog name girly girl. I guess maybe she heard through her brother who co-parents baby that the new trend in dog naming is like very basic and unimaginative names. So her dog is girly girl, which I guess is more interesting than baby. Bethany would not be proud of that.

Let me tell you something. I really wonder if Carol has run out to see baby driver. She's like, it's a movie about my dog driving cars comedy over here. The biggest question of the summer, which baby is driving. I don't understand that they're just robbing banks, but what about sniffing cat posts? When does the baby hang onto the curtains? What is it? It's like freaking ago we are posting my couch. How much? Baby, uh, Megan's baby. She had a baby on Thanksgiving, what she's super proud of.

But I'm like, you know, you just had a turkey, right? I don't know why you're bragging. I mean, unless you're in a bowling alley, that this can't be a good thing. Yeah. It's a baby's Thanksgiving baby. Yeah, baby is baby. I feel housewives in New York. It's actually only place for a monobull ski.

Yeah, well, that's crazy. The only babies I'll hold are babies named Aspen, okay? That is the powderiest baby I've ever skied on. I once held a baby named Stratton and it was very icy, okay? The police fight out. I did not appreciate an icy baby. But Aspen is pure puff, pure pow pow, okay? Back girl from the OCS or Mad at me. What did I do? I mean, if you don't want me to ski on your baby,

don't name it Aspen, okay? I'm sorry, okay? I'm looking for Mary Samson, I'd hear an Aspen okay, I'm sorry. I I'm looking for Mary Samson like hearing aspen okay Jimmy's like hey Oh, hi baby, who's my little baby? I was like whoa. Oh, well Jimmy. He's like still doesn't hide his disdain for Megan. He's like, hey, what's up, bovin? Oh, it's my girl, princess. It's a little bit too much. Did you also notice that Megan dressed like Elsa for her interview segments?

She did full on Elsa figure skating outfit. She's like, let it go. Let it go. I forgot the rest. Aspen. Hashtag frozen. Hashtag, let it go, baby forgot the rest. Aspen. Hashtag Frozen. Hashtag Let it go, baby girl mom life. It's my ode to Jimmy's sperm.

Hashtag Frozen. Oh, so Jimmy, wait a fight these gay rumors. Jimmy's like, why are you dressing her in that? I don't want her wearing that. Why is she wearing that headband? I don't like those shoes I was like okay calm down Martha you almost made me spit out my coffee she's putting these little little shoes and she goes come on and ask me paint his beauty am I right and Jimmy cuz do you like those shoes baby and the baby is like

Yeah, told you Meanwhile back at the Bible study Lydia's Lydia's like Oh Jesus like let's him undowry before he resurrected them and have you ever felt a band of bad and so Dear Lord, thank you so much for this time that we have to focus only on you after calling Vicky a cut fitness for an hour of the kitchen Yeah, so of course, it's like Tamara have you ever felt abandoned by God and of course Tamara Mealy starts to cry Yeah, because she knows it's a moment for like self pity It's John 11. Okay ladies see they were talking John 11 when Lazarus dies and Jesus raises him up

Like you're talking to Tamra who's got possum face like current possum face about Lazarus Ain't that one of the oldest motherfuckers in the Bible? Could you find a younger chapter? I thought that was Methuselah. Well, he was the oldest one, but Lazarus was no spring chicken. I literally, I'm not being facetious. I literally have no idea who Lazarus is. I don't really either. All I know is that laser surgery was expected. Well, here's what happens.

So Tim, all Mac he starts to cry and then she starts saying, like, you know, my situation with my daughter, I've shed so many tears and I've been so emotional about it lately. I'm like, lately, it's like past three years you've been emotional and I don't take that away from her. I think it's a terrible situation. She hasn't seen her daughter for three and a half years, but don't act like this is like a new, I don't know. I don't even know why I'm getting on a tear about this.

I think I'm just angry because this is nothing to get a tear upon. But I was like, Tamara, like no offense, you talk about this like every episode. Well, no offense, but I was barely listening to that because I was looking up Lazarus. And can I apologize? Lazarus was not even old, okay?

I can't believe you. According to Wikipedia, he you according to according to Wikipedia He's according to the artist Duccio Yeah, he is basically a fuck boy twink in a mummy costume So how old is he by the way? I just said fuck boy because we were talking about invite on the Cabo and fuck boys Sorry, that was I shouldn't have said that in a biblical Sorry, I was for a query is, Corey is the Lazarus of invite on my calvo. I got it. Jesus

received message that Lazarus is ill and his two sisters are seeking help. And he tells us followers, this sickness will not end in debt. No, it is for God's glory so that God's son may be glorified through it. So I guess long story short, he did die. And Jesus was like, I will not be wrong. I will bring him back to life. And he did. You did die and Jesus was like I will not be wrong. I will bring him back to life And he did you did it Jesus? That's very Edminescent

So also what Jesus was responsible for Jesus did bring us Edminescence But Jesus is also made sure they were one hit wonder so we appreciate You know how appreciative all the people from the Bible dying of leprosy that all these Italian painters painted is like hot people. I've never seen so many people dying of leprosy that looked this good. It's like a quench fitness ad. This Wikipedia. Okay, I'm getting off the Bible. I'm the hottest lepran orange county. I'm a loose and arm but I'm not losing any suffer spats. You got to hand it to me even though I have no more hands. I have leprosy and I still can't lose weight. Like Santa's new opening line. How come no

matter how many body parts I lose, I still met zero. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. Oh, it's a zero-sum game for me and what a leprosy. No matter how many diseases David gets from strange women on the beach, I still can't contract leprosy to save my life. David? David, have you been hanging around the leprosy colony? David.

Oh my God. So she goes on about her kid, which is nothing to do with last race. I don't know what this is about as we just saw in my two sentence read from the Bible. So then one of the moms is like, well, have you talked to her? She's like, well, not for like three and a half years batch, but we touched. And the mom's like, Oh, well, that's an answer to a prayer. Was it the prayer hand emoji? Because that would be a double blessing. No, as more of that like praise emoji, you know, with a hands go up just straight up like raise the roof, Jesus. Lydia's like, well, I would love to pray for Sidney and you is that okay? You can't come to my house and cry and have it not have us pray for you Dear Lord, please get Tamra bigger diamond because mine makes hers look miniscule also baby have what's your name again?

Sidney sent better emojis. Amen. Okay, let's try and get someone to have much with them. Like this. So then we go over to Vicky's house and her man Steve, the ex homicide officer, has come over to visit and Vicky's like, she's like, oh yeah, you know, I miss Brooks a lot, you know, because we did have a great relationship, you know, despite all the con or the street and stuff. But you know, I would never go back to him, you know. Yeah, no matter what anybody says about him, I still love that guy. I mean, I'm gonna go back to him. Don't worry.

Don't step between his cat. Cat. I think it's great to be, you know, 54 and in love. I think it's a great thing. And they cut to Steve and she's like, Steve and Vicki and Vicki's like grabbing something from in front of him and he's checking his phone. Like very, very little chemistry. I know. Well, Steve is just quiet.

Yeah. It's like, Victoria, I'm here. Victoria. Oh, that's, name doesn't even sound right on her. And he brings her flowers and she goes, Oh, look at those. Those look like the flowers. He sent me an Ireland, which made me feel so, I'm like, yes, Vicki, we remember you had a boyfriend last year too, okay? She's like, oh, Steve, show the camera,

on your teeth. I didn't have to buy those. Score. And then she probably spilled salsa all over him. Trader Joe's jarred salsa. Geez, Vicki, where does show an effort? Well, you know, you can date the Caliente, sign out the kitchen, but you can't date the

Caliente the kitchen. You can train a Brooks, you can train a Brooks in for a cop, but you can't train a job train a cop for some trader Joe Salsa, okay, sorry, sorry. So then she makes belt on a foundation of sad that whole segment. Cut it. I know. And then the salad she made, I was like, like theoretically, some greens with some avocado and shrimp sounds lovely. But when she served those salads, they just, they looked like they were out of one of those crappy 1987 cookbooks that you find at a garage sale. Yeah.

No, it's just it's a pretty joe's frozen shrimp on some iceberg. I learned how to make the salad at an embassy sweets. They have great lunches there. She says, you know, I told Brianna today, because Brianna just keeps asking about marriage. She just wants us to get marriage. And I told her today, we're

both damage goods, you know, we're both damage goods because you know, we've been with other people. I'm like, we're both damage goods because you know, we've been with other people. I'm like, no, your damage goods because you look like a box that has a fragile tape on it that's been kicked around the block by like 13 year olds, Vicki. Like you look like a Amazon prime box that just got crushed by a pack of dogs. Okay. That's why.

That's. I also love. I love. You know, we're both damaged goods and he's like I'm not damaged Yeah, it's like I feel great personally. I feel great. I've just lowered my standards. That's all great career great kids I Can solve crime I That bragging Brooks So over at the I can

solve crime. Sorry, I just hit me. Over at the Dodd household, Kelly is around. She's like, man, man, and then Bobby shows up with a brand new strange blonde wig. It was kind of like a, like a rough Kim D wig Kim D in the morning. That's how Kim D wakes up in the morning is how how Bobby Bobby's hair looks. Bobby is like a drunk version of that Picasso painting of the screaming purple man. I feel like Bobby looks like King Julius from the Madagascar extended universe. Bobby is also like my favorite thing ever. She's saying, yeah, what is it, Cal?

She's like, well, mom, I'm in here getting ready for Wendy's birthday. What do you think I have doing tonight with Julie? She's like, I don't know whatever she wants. Bobby's just always like just woken up from a nap in the garage. She's still taxed from having to learn state capitals last season. So Kelly says, Mom, I got both talks. My doctor loves me, right? And he was telling me about vaginal rejuvenation.

You know what that is? It's where you should like, I know what it is, Cal. Just like, I have no idea where Harris, Harris, Bernie Pennsylvania is, but I know about vaginal rejuvenation. I know where my vagina is and I know what happened to Lazarus, Harrisburg Pennsylvania is, but I know about that. I told you to be a nation. I know where my vagina is and I know what happened to Lazarus once Jesus got a hold of them. Oh, you mean the Hawkeye from the Bible, Bible? Yeah. Rejuvenated.

I can tell you it's like, well, mom, it helps with leakage, you know, and I mean being married 13 years that old man loser about this house. I mean, it's not like we're banging like a screen door, but you gotta maintain, you know, for all the guys you fuck on the side. She's like, mom, don't you want to date? Yeah, Kelly, this all sounds so romantic the way you've laid this all out. And I like the way Bobbys responses date. I mean, I got a Starbucks. I talk to people. I'm like, oh, she's the crazy lady who got Starbucks. He talks to you. You know, that's my, that's me.

That's like literally me as her answer with my friends are like, why don't you want to date? Don't you need companionship? I'm like I go to Starbucks, okay? Bobby is the one when you go to Starbucks in your order like they're new See they're they're like special Frappuccino for June and she's the one who turns me says Oh, he's Frappuccino flavor. Why they always have these flavors? I mean, what is that? What is that one? Midnight Mints? All right. You have any of these?

It isn't just the concentrate, honey. Hey, honey. You got any one of those spinach feder apps? No. I mean, you got it. Your restaurant. It's 4.45 pm. Hey, can I write my name on this cup again? I just love your artwork.

Listen, I don't, I don't want to make any problems, but someone's built some cream over there. And I don't know. Someone's shakling that up. What do you think? Kelly's like, that's not romance, mom. I mean, you were married 30 years with that. Don't you want to go to dinner with someone? Kelly, do you not remember telling us last year on fold out lawn furniture in front of your garage? How your mom was in a miserable marriage and just stayed for you? Like, are you forgetting that you've told it? Don't you want to go to dinner with someone and her mom goes, I got a bad case in my mouth. Kelly goes like a lesbian. Hey, what do you call two

lesbians in a closet, ma? A liquor cabinet. And Bobby goes, now that's finally. I can go tell that Thoroughbuck's tomorrow. I'm gonna save that one after when they're playing the end of Gold Girls at the Bucky Starrbs. That's what I call it. I know they stop giving out their singles of the week. That's wrong.

I mean, I just learned how to scan a code, whatever that is. I hear a Lannis Morsez coming out with a six acoustic version of Jagged Little Pill. Can't wait for Starbucks to start stocking that one. So someone surfing and we're at Brianna's house. Yeah, but that was a weird, that was a weird entrance. Yeah. So Troy and Owen are fighting like crazy and no one's just planning them. But you know boys will be boys.

Oh, I just remember that from last year when we got a beat. Oh, he's like, Oh, I'm just running back and forth. And he's still like that. They're so funny. And boys really are, when you said someone said boys will be boys. I mean, this really is boys. Yeah, these are what it's up.

Brianna is just like exhausted. The reason why she's not disciplining is because she she just can't anymore. She between her mom and her boys, she's just like, please just get me some callagon and take me away. Yeah, there's no fixing any of this. Just sit there and you know, have some free days. So I like yes, no, no. You say yes, I say no, we're working great together. Fine. I was going to say that Brianna is talking about Steve and how she likes Steve. And she's like, it's so nice to like my mom's boyfriend for once.

You know, Steve is totally a saint. He has a job. He doesn't hit on me. He doesn't suggest that my husband beat the shit out of me whenever I misbehave. Yes, he has to. I don't have to mush up his grilled chicken forum before I feed him. He doesn't suggest things to my mom like bloody piggies, bloody Vicky's, what were they called? Meanwhile, the kids are in the background. One is wearing an Iron Man face mask, and the other one hits him in the face with a lightsaber.

And he's like, I'm flotted. That's fine. So funny. And Vicky's like, oh, I love it. You know, I copy out every day. I say, what do you need? What do you need? And then you know, like I'll beat like five hours late doing like oh, I love it. You know I copy out every day I say what do you need what do you need and then you know like I'll be like five hours late doing it But I do it. You know I make we feel needed It's that's why I spilled salsa people, you know like I completed that with a spud

Everyone needs me back. You need me back get over here. I've got some chips Oh, no, I spilled again, I'm Brianna You know my favorite part about the porno is when you spill on the plumber because, you know, he needs to get that shirt changed. And the kids are sobbing of the background. And then one of them is like, okay, don't cry. And like comes into the table. He's like, I bought it. Brianna is like, God, this kid, his whole life is farts and super heroes.

She's like, books, cult. It's like, don't you? The parts of the super. It's bad upon. It's bad upon. It'll call back to yesterday's episode. Um, so, uh, yeah. So basically, Vicki is extolling the joys of taking care, like basically being Brianna's OC husband because Ryan's still stuck in Oklahoma telling people to Ryan.

Ryan is going gonna have some this is gonna be an interesting season because he will once again be faced come face to face with Lydia's mom and I'm hoping that we get couch gate part two. I'm really hoping we do meet well Ryan is one of those people he can't control it. You know, he's not going to be able to control it. He's going to yell at somebody at some point about something stupid because he's a raky asshole. And now he's a raky asshole with a bad bad... With a back problem. Man, nothing but that. He has to wait in Oklahoma for his medical paperwork. Well, how about he enjoys lying on that couch with his

background and not putting his feet up? Yeah, you know, he's got like a wood ottoman. It's like you can just wipe it right off. It's like, yeah, that's how you do it. You know, it's the kind of guy who just sits there alone in his house going, now that's how you put your feet on it, ottoman, right there. That's how you do it.

So then we go over to Tamara Tamara who's over at cut fitness. Oh God I skipped right over Tamara. Sorry guys. I skipped all the way down to Lydia. Okay Tamara cut fitness Tamara is a cut she's she's Tamara is working out at cut fitness and she's with Eddie and She wants she's like well now there not, we're not teaching spin classes anymore. Let's get rid of this mural. And he's like, we put $3,000 into that mural. And she's like, yeah, let's get rid of it anyway. Well, yeah, I mean, why would you do spin class in front of the Grand Canyon mural? It's like the hottest place on earth. Why would you? Why do they not, yeah, why do they not have mirrors? They probably were like, well? We don't want to mirrors in here because production

It makes production a lot more difficult if they have to blur out all the mirrors Yeah, and I know she's trying to promote her gym But constantly showing her in an empty gym is so sad. We're gonna stop doing that. Yeah Yeah, he's like hey babe just got finished doing you know the TRX and cardio everyone seems to love it like you just finished There's no one there It's like literally no one there and you're talking about your shitty mural So she's like well, I went to Bob a study and it turns out Vicki's laprosate and he's like yeah babe don't go to lunch with her And Tim was like well, I think shit trash. I'm like he married you so

His opinion is like I don't have the highest opinion of his opinion. You know what I mean? Yeah. You put a grand, uh, grand canyon mural behind spinners. So yeah. So Eddie is basically like, don't go to lunch with her. You, you, like, I don't like her. I don't want to have lunch with her and you, she shouldn't be in your life. But Tim was like, yeah, Batch, but TV show. So I have to turn on Shannon this season. So Batch, Batch, Batch.

Batch, Batch. Batch, Batch. And he's like, I love you. She's like, you're not gay, Batch. And he's like, I know, girl. And so then we go over to Lydia, who's in the park with her hot twink husband with a foe hawk and like a tiny little boy's motorcycle jacket.

Oh, come on. Yeah, he's cute. And they're teaching their middle son how to ride a bike and he's like crying and whining. So basically it was me as a child because I did not want to learn how to ride a bike and I complained too. And I just love when this kid on the bike and it falls over and he just starts wailing. I'm like, this was me. This was my childhood right here. Just cry at everything. Yeah. And the dad's like, come on. I know you fell off your bike, man.

It's hard being an ninja warrior. I was like, you've got a foe hawk. Like if you want to butcher it up, brand your kids, like make an effort, OK? You're dressed from the JC Penny's like kid section and you have a foe hawk. But you're not mad. And so Lydia explains that she's like You know every mom is just like I miss my kids

I want to get home and then you get home and your kids are there and you're like And then you realize you're actually just hanging out with Alexis Blino and like oh My son's get such humongous fake boobs. And why are they keep doing this fake newscast? One of the kid falls down. He's rollerblading and he's like, what do you guys? Honey, you're fine. I watched the whole thing and you weren't hurt He wasn't completely fighting the kids. I watched the whole thing and you weren't hurt I only asked the way hurt works. Yeah, and the dad's like what would a Jedi do? Get his arm chopped off and like be killed in like a terrorist attack in space. I

Think a Jedi would get wiped out by Darth Vader That's why there's a thing called the last Jedi, isn't there? Or return to the Jedi? Yeah, I mean, look, last time I checked the Jedi's weren't doing so great. Yeah. Okay, watch their history. Not doing so great. I'm not too gay to truly get those movies, but there's a lot of missing arms and fucked up

people in the Jedi world. Yeah, last time I looked, didn't a Jedi world get exploded? Or maybe that was like a people world. Either way, some kind of terrorist attack or something where they exploded the whole planet. I was like, where did that come from? Well, I know, I mean, I think in the prequels, that's when they went and killed the Jedi's, right?

Well, what was the first one called? The first one was called my Star Trek One Girl. The second one was called Star Trek. I mean, I'm sorry. Star Wars 2. Yeah. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars.

The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars.

The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars 2. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called Star Wars. The second one was called like the force has awakened so da da da the force is awakened roll out of bed girl. Yeah, that's what that's what this world needs. Watercraft and recapping so my husband is really all about like never accepting failure.

So when our kids fall, they get back up because he's a McLaughlin. And we don't give up. I'm like, didn't you quit this? So yeah, you did quit this. Like you literally gave up. So then we go to Shannon. She's going shopping with her daughters. And then, you know, Tamara joins up with her niece because there's like prom dresses or a formal whatever.

And I love they go to this boutique somewhere in Orange County. And the shop ladies like, well, I guess what? The 80s are coming back. I'm like, this is Orange County. I don't think the 80s ever left. Yeah, the 80s. Did you see Vicki salad? Yeah, the 80s are at communion every Sunday.

Yeah. Have you seen Temers here? Yeah, I was like, good. Because it's time for Sophie's formal. And I love the 80s, back in the 80s. I went to prom and I was a zero No, I just feel like a zero because of what Vicki come from sin did to me But it come the 80s are back as in I've gained 80 pounds thanks to Vicki come from sin the two 80s I'm having 80 negative thoughts about 80 pounds I just gained because of

Vicki and David. Do you like it? I just gave Sam in my own weight. Shannon is not 280 okay. She's like 180. Maybe I don't know girl weight. I don't think she's 180. I don't know girl weight. I don't get it. Yeah yeah I don't go with different but I'm telling you like well I want to prom in 84 I think it's 84 because then 85 I was knocked up and they showed those two photos they showed a photo of tamarin 84 happy at prom looking hopeful like the world was her oyster or her canned oyster at the very least and then the next year they show her pregnant and like all sad it was so brilliant and the music even it was like Bapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap I can't do it, sir. Can't do it. Batch, I don't eat oysters. The shamans like they show her this lace up dress.

And Shannon's like, oh, I like that dress. What this sucked me in. I'll hop it then. It'll all start filing out the sides. Like the sauce they put on that sugary short rip in the cashier pub. They told me the ribs were less fattening than the salad. It's their fault. It's thickies. Fought for telling me to get the short ribs.

So this is a dog out. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. David, did you let the dogs out? David. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And, um, Tamara actually, I think, you know, as much shit as we give Tamara, she's, she's pretty sharp about certain things and she says, something that I think we all believe, which is that the weight gain is probably less to the Vicki and more to do with, uh, David's affair.

I'm like, yeah, I think so. Yeah. If he had another affair, which I guess we're going to take the whole season to find out if he actually did or if that was just a rumor because it seems like he did at this point. He's like, God dear. Um, and she's like, I think she wants to lead this way, but she doesn't have motivation bitch behind that bats, um, which is true. But she's like, well, Shannon, are you like working out? She's like, no, Kraus. Yeah. So you're gonna kind of have to do that. Yeah, some point. Well, we all know that there's a reason why Shannon hasn't been doing a lot of cardio, right? If I run, I pee in my pants. Well, you know what, if Shannon were to ever say, you know what, it's

time to start doing cardio again. The perfect thing to keep her motivated is to take a decent magazine with her to the gym. But you know, I just don't like carrying those magazines because you take them, you put them on the little spinner thing before you know it, you're sweating at the Grand Canyon and your brand and Angelina cover is covered in sweat. David? David? Yeah. So now, you didn't even get what I'm trying to do. Did you? Or you like, what I have evidence wet. Damn it. David? David?

Yeah. So now, oh, you didn't even get what I'm trying to do. Did you? Or are you like, what the fuck is he talking about? I had no idea what you're trying to do. I'm sorry. I just got to ask. But I'm trying to say is magazines are difficult.

Guess what's easy. Texture. Ronnie, you're a genius. You know what? There are no rumors of texture cheating on anybody. Texture has never made anybody fat. Ever. David?

David. I don't have my texture content up, so you will just have to keep on talking. Well, how do we say up with the latest newsmen entertainment? That crazy dog. Texture. It's the app where you can get access to in-depth interviews reviews and behind the scenes with your favorite celebrities directors and writers With texture you get access to magazines like Vanity Fair. It doesn't mention Vicki Eifer Or the Hollywood Reporter which Vicki's not in or in a magazine

David David I want to get in shape. People guest who's not a person Vicki Gumbel said truck trend. Guess it was a truck me because of David and Vicki guest who's not entertained every week by Vicki me would magazine as in I feel like a giant tree trunk right now and maybe I'll see what I can carve myself into in would magazine as many magazines this texture has, unfortunately none of them have cures for fake cancer. Not even country gardens or cycle world or diabetic living, which will soon be very relevant to me if I keep this up. Texture for hundreds of magazines right in one place on your tablet or your smart phone.

I'm like Bikis phone which is stupid like her Stupid phone, which is why she sends stupid texts not to be confused with texture, which is not stupid, David I'm having 40 to 50 positive thoughts about texture We talk about texture all the time because we actually use texture, okay? I love magazines. My Instagram is basically 20% magazine covers, so I see when I'm standing in the line at Target. I love a magazine. We love to poop. Magazines and poop go together like a dairy queen blizzard with heath bars, guys. You gotta have both at the same time. You don't want to be using

some dirty paper. You need to have your smartphone or same time. You don't want to be using some dirty paper. You need to have your smartphone or your tablet. You can have all those magazines right in the palm of your hands. And they're not like the website version of these magazines that are all glitchy and crappy. They're the actual magazines that you flip through. I mean, there's no reason for us to sugarcoat this. It's a fantastic deal. It's 9.99 a month and you get over 200 magazines, which is absurd. And if you sign up right now at Texture.com slash Craftins,

you get a 14 day free trial. That's right. So there's no reason to just believe us. Just go try it. OK, how about that? David, you know a magazine is almost as much as Met Flix for a whole month. And you can have all of those magazines at your think a tap spot by

99 a month So just go to texture dot Tron slash crap ends for 14 days free Texture dot com slash crap Texture dot com slash crap ends. Oh my gosh texture David David so as this a premiere comes to an end, we have Vicki and Lydia going to lunch the big climax of the episode. I was sort of expecting a bigger climax scene, but I guess we're sort of building up for next week,

which looks like we are going to have some real issues between Lydia and Shannon. But for now, it's Vicki and Lydia. Yes, Vicki and Lydia is trying her best to do it. And Vicki's like, well, let's face it. Look at Lydia, you know what she's like, dizzy, lad, all day like, you know, you kind of want to put Cinderella in the face, because you think she's so fucking hot. But you know, I'll take her over

that nasty hildebeest, Tebra. And then they showed a clip of Vicki at that part at Tamara's christening going, or her baptism going. Oh, here we are at the baptism. Well, I'm the one who's like Jesus Christ. Look at me. Jesus Christ. They'll do a cross all day long. Look at me. Look at Jesus. Just they'll do a crisis. Pretty least rest at the batches for this event. You know, Jesus Christ. They'll not a cross. Couldn't even go swimming with Tamra right now. You know, that's what I'm like Jesus Whoa, oh, I guess you can't see me, huh. I guess you're all lepers, huh? Like Lazarus, huh

Tamer's like speaking of I just heard a Lazarus story that's gonna blow your mind back Did you know that Lazarus is dotted didn't text her for three and a half years? That's my opinion. So yeah, Lydia's going to try and hook them back up and that is not going to work. Yeah. And Lydia, you know, you know, Lydia is asking to keep out the gay rumors or whatever. And Lydia just her version of putting the back together is this really, really pat kind of kind of advice. her version of putting it back together is this really, really pat kind of kind of advice. She goes, well, she's like, I'm not even

tried to her voice. It's too high. She's like, I think you guys hurt each other so much because you love each other so much. And because like, no, yeah, she's a bitch. Yeah, she's evil. You don't, I've never heard anybody. I don't do anything to hurt anybody. Okay. And she's evil. I've never heard anybody. I don't do anything to her, anybody, okay? And she's like, but you said her husband was gay. She's like, why was a rumor?

It was a rumor. I didn't make up the rumor. You know, I just said it's a rumor and she goes, well, what she's supposed to say. She goes, just say no, it's not. You know what, that's it. Lydia said, so you were getting even because she said something about you and you were

saying something about her and she goes, no, we weren't getting even. They were trying to stir me in. Stir me in. They were trying to stir. I was like, you're not chocolate chips in a cookie recipe. You do not get folded in with classic French technique. She's like, wait, that makes all of me. I'm not a good rue.

I am not a kind of I never cut any wedding by life. I'm like, okay, CAC. Every time you say something like that, I'm just going to say, Cat, Kill all cancer. Shut up, Vicki. And still love you. Stay as crazy as ever. So we'll see.

Vicki does say something true. She's like, you know, I'm sick and tired of Tamer going around, and spreading every rumor about every single person. And then I say one thing about Tamer, and then she yells, I mean, I can't say one single rumor, and that's kind of true too.

I mean, Tamer says, Tamer is the biggest poster. She talks about everyone behind their backs, like every single person. She spreads every single rumor, and then she often will gust you it up onto the guys of like, oh, I just, I had to tell you because I need to be a good friend.

I don't know what to do with this situation, and you know, Vicki murdered some of the other day. There, I just had to say it, you know. So Vicki's kind of right, you know? Yeah. Tamara can be shit, but she really can't take it when someone comes when someone spreads Room about Tamra she she gets vicious, which is why we love her. Well the thing about Tamra and Vicki's relationship is they're both so Horrible as human beings that just watching them ripy rip each other to shreds. You don't have to feel bad for anybody

Because they're both getting what they deserve, you know. Yes. Although I have to have it's Tamra for holding onto this good Christian thing for a third here in the row. I do not believe this is lasting. It's like, what say is Satan just busy? I think so. I think that Bravo is really turning out too much content for, uh, for Satan to, to come circle back over to OC.

Yeah. Satan's like, last one, game 30. I mean, Satan's busy doing his work by shoving Kenwai down David's mouth. He's like, you cheated. So your punishment is that your wife is gonna serve you Kenwai for the rest of your life. I know Ken's boot over there.

He's like, Satan's busy. So Buddha's here to give David a taste of crunchy Kenwai car mubbles. This is where the episode ended, but it shows next week's clip. And Shannon's talking to like a fun stray person. And the fun stray person, because you have a toilet in your relationship corner. Shannon, instead of being like, this means David's shitting all over me again. It's like, that must be about Vicki. Oh, geez. I'm not going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going

to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to

be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to

be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to later today or so. It's going to be wonky for the next couple of weeks as things change over and shows and we will still be here every day and we'll be talking to you tomorrow with little bull. No, no, we're going to do Southern. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Shaws from your side. We're going to do Southern charm reunion tomorrow. We'll do New York on Thursday like normal and do below deck on Friday. Next week, Shaws will be on Monday taking over. Oh, we have. Yeah, Shaws is going to be on Monday or is it going to be on Friday? Shaws is going to be on Monday.

Shaws is going to be on Monday. We'll just with the topic. And, we'll be on the LBR channel Wednesday will be Southern charm reunion part two Thursday, New York, and Friday below deck. Yeah, just tune in. Have a just subscribe and whatever whatever shows up as what shows up. Yeah, how about you guys just turn on your turn and your radio. Tune in, tune out. What does it go? Turn on, tune out. Whatever. I can't do too much.

The library right now. Anyway, buy some tickets for a show every one. Every one of you. Yeah. Come to the L.A. show. Go to watch it.

Crapins.com to get tickets. It's over Labor Day. It's going to be amazing. We love you guys. Love you. Boy. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about

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