Watch What Crappens - #518 Shahs: Jerusalem Be Poppin'!

Episode Date: August 15, 2017

The Israeli odyssey on "Shahs of Sunset" continues with the gang heading to a Muslim town and making fools of themselves with video cameras. Afterwards, it's Shabbat with Mike's family and then a trip to Jerusalem to visit the Western Wall. We recap everything: from MJ's dirty feet to Asa's pregnancy pilgrimage. Come listen! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of Watch for Crappens is brought to you by our Patreon.

Premium sponsors, Christy D'Auerdi, Cindy Gerson, Kelly Barlow, and Jess Ayan. This episode of Watch Your Crappens is brought to you by our Patreon premium sponsors Kristi Dauerty, Cindy Gerson, Kelly Barlow and Jess Sayon. Thank you to talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com-slashwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatch Hey everyone, welcome to Watch Your Crappins, a podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ben Madelker from BSIBlog.com and the Bant Durplinder podcast, joining me as usual is the hilarious and just almost entirely perfect Ronnie Caram from trashshocktv.com and also the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast which I believe is going to be entering a Bachelor in Paradise phase. Will it not? Welcome Ronnie, what's going on? Hello!

Oh my god, I forgot Bachelor in Paradise is four hours a week. Yeah, I, that's that's that's that moment where I sit back and just sort of like do that thing where you flex your fingers together and say, I'm not doing it. Yeah, not doing it. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, but if you like bachelor's stuff, you should listen to his that podcast and, um, a few things at the top of the show. Obviously, we have our L.A. show coming up September 2nd with Jeff Lewis and Jenny Poulos and Gets Edward. We have a bonus episode coming out this week as you did come up today or tomorrow. We're running I talk about how we hobnob with various bravo luminaries such as Stasi and Kristen and

Catherine Dennis, Kate Chastain, etc. We talk to Naomi from Southern Charm and I asked her if Craig would make a pillow or pillow case that we could give away at the LA live show. So fingers crossed that that's something that he will agree to do in which case we are gonna raffle off a pillow by Craig which makes me very excited. So that's that little piece of news there. Some little pillow news for everyone. Yeah, well, you're giving pillow news. I'm like hanging out the screen door. Why? I don't know. I don't need a cigarette, but it's the beginning of the show. So I'm just sucking one down fast. So please carry on. Why not? It's just we're just trying to do whatever we can to sweeten the deal. So yeah, go to watch

ocrapans.com to buy tickets for that. And lastly, huge thank you to everyone who bought tickets for our Chicago shows. They have sold out. It is actually insane how quickly those two shows hold out. So looking forward to seeing all our Chicago peeps at the end of September, LA peeps in beginning of September, etc, etc. And today, we will be toast. We don't know. Yeah. We today we are going to talk about Maybe we'll go to Israel like the Shahza Sunset. Which is what we're going to go to. God crap.

And we could be more offensive than these idiots. God. Live from Jericho. She is like dear Israel, we're sorry. Yeah. America. If there has ever been a mandate for Peace in the Middle East, it's been this show. It's like, you know, we got to get our shit together.

Otherwise, these people are going to keep coming back and we can't have it anymore. Alright. They're going to, it's going to become even more divided. It's going to become like the Jewish section, the Muslim section, and just the idiot American section. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh, look at this. They're selling guns.

Like they're selling guns to, you come from America, you fucking moron. Exactly. Carcass or Plank Grand Thaft Auto is beating the shit out of cartoon hookers in the street. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, so today Sh Shaza Sunset, the grand trip to Israel continues. And this week's episode opens up with people getting dressed in the hotel and then they

cut to MJ just lying in bed dead to the world. Which is often how I feel. It's like any MJ scene starts. Yeah, and Ressa's like, Mike, let's go get a coffee. I don't know why I wrote that down, I just think. I just, I love watching this show when they have the getting ready montage, like the ever famous bravo getting ready for things montage, because praying like some rust, you know knock off Beyonce scent and then walking into it Now like that

I Like that that's his noise. It sounded like it sounded like Mario jumping in Super Mario Servin, you know not only is serving the nicest and the hottest, he's also the one with a buffet in his room. Yeah, how did the buffet wind up in Servin's room? They're like, let's just put it in the room of whoever's the most sensible in this cast.

Sure, Finn. Yeah, MJ will be wearing it the next day, you know. Still just like sit down in it. Yeah, just like that. Just make a bet out of bagels. Mike tells us each one of us is to choose what to do when we go on these trips for a time. And you know, Asa has this art thing today.

And then we get to go to my family's house. For Shabbat. Shabbat. Yeah. So it should be an interesting plan of this, interesting itinerary for the day. So everyone winds up down in Shervin's room having breakfast and they're like, bitch, be like, still in bed, where's MJ?

So Reza, FaceTime's MJ, it just show her on his phone and she is like, she is fully in the Blair Witch project. She's just sitting there staring, still in the makeup from the night before, she does barely even processing what's happening. But she is the dumb bitch from the Blair Witch broad like she's too dumb to even face a corner. She's just like falsely sleeping the court. She's the only person who would actually see the Blair Witch coming out them. And what's even worse is she's not even in the Blair Witch Woods. She's just at Best Buy. She's like, I got lost. These curved TVs.

So they show a clip of the night before, because everyone's like, bitch, be wasted. So they show a clip of the night before. And it's them trying to get MJ to her room. They just keep dropping her over and over the hallway. And these are some painful drives. I mean, they're dropping her on a marble hallway floor, and she's bouncing off of them because they're dropping her somewhere. And it's just her screaming, oh, over and over again. So she cannot be feeling

good today. Yeah. And luckily, Asa is there to make this trip be like a trip, because she's like, I want to take everyone to go. It's this place where like a trip because she's like I want to take everyone to this place where like Jewish and Christianity and Muslims they all get along like all the three Abrahamic religions and I just like want to go there and like we're gonna go meet with like three spiritual leaders and because I want to put together a video presentation to show my future baby that peace and coexistence is possible like we get it awesome, Asa. You're having a baby. Now you're doing a video presentation for your baby to show that people can get

along. We get it. Asa. I know. She enters the room like, Salom, Salom. Gigi's like, Oh my God. I have a boyfriend. Yes, we know.

You've got a boyfriend. She's got a baby. Resa, anything to add. Will that bitch be like crazy? That M.J.B. like rolled hard and put away where? No, and now Asa has us doing an art project. Like last time that I helped Asa with the art project, I was like, sure to listen to a video.

I'm like, bitch be like doing art. Bitch, she is a new hobby. If no one on my motherfuckers This bitch be doing art like looking fat as fuck like I can't take anymore of these art bitch be like Projects bitch bitch be like if you want to be noticed like cut off your ear and bitch be like Van Gogh How about bitch be like van Gogh away? I want to just be Jewish right now how about like Van no bitch So We then see them in a van

Exactly the big giant they can find a tacky van even here to take them Is your stripper pool in this van just get in yeah, so you get in and then and rest is like let's play a game What is the worst sexual experience you've ever had? I'm like, oh, you know what? I'd rather ask Adam. I'd rather be able to relate to this game, okay? And also, how have you guys not discussed this? I guess maybe they have to constantly update their rankings.

Like every single week. Oh, guess what? got a new a new update to the worst sexual experience I just had I fucked Mike again Because GG of course is like Mike And Mike's like you know what's crazy like people are always asking me why I just jerk up in the shower It's like really people are always asking you that mic. Maybe it's because you're at the gym. Maybe that's why. Yeah.

And then apparently we learn that Mike never jerks off on a bed because he feels like jerking off on yourself, like on your stomach makes you homosexual. Yeah. We're in a porn. If like a girl has two dicks and like they touch in her mouth it magically turns the guys gay Yeah It's kind of it's weird because Mike has actually been so progressive about homosexuality and just being a straight guy embracing a gay best friend Etc

A whole face of makeup and shoulder pads and like a man's banks. Yeah, exactly. And it's like fake pirate beard. But always the most homosexual. Yeah, it's always the most homophobic who is the most almost or you know what I mean? The most homophobic or the most homosexual. God damn it. Yeah, it's not even homophobic.

It's what is homophobic. It is. If it's literally afraid that that's going to be perceived as being gay. You know, this is homophobic? It is. It is literally afraid that that's gonna be perceived as being gay. You know, this in the literal sense. I remember in high school once as a young closeted gay teenager sitting at the lunch table. And somehow this conversation came up at the table.

It was like, if Elton John, this is like scarred in my brain, this experience. If Elton John paid you $1,000, would you touch his dick? And I somehow was like first, I was like, no, because you know I'm gay and I don't want people to know I'm gay, so like, no, of course not. And then everyone else is like, yeah, I guess maybe,

I mean, whatever, $1,000 and I was like, at that point, to touch his dick. Oh my god, I did it for five. I know, you do it, exactly. And so then he was like, then one of the girls was like, what if it was like $10,000? I was like, no, because at that point, I'd already like dug my heels in and I am not gay.

And therefore I won't touch a penis thing. They got it all the way up to a million. And I was like, no, I wouldn't. And I was so traumatized by it because then everyone was like, what about this number, Ben? What about this number? And I was like, ah, it's all coming apart. So when I see Mike here Stop bidding away my homosexuality Luckily I got out of it because as any good self-loathing in the closet gave will do they'll make someone else seem gay So I turned to this guy and Matt and I go you you know what, Matt, I'm going to get you for

your birthday, a door knob. That way you can come out of the closet and everyone's like, oh! But I was the one who was gay. But anyway, this is just to say that this whole thing of Mike being afraid to draw off on his stomach, that reminds me of that extreme fear of something even remotely homosexual, like making people think that you're gay, et cetera. I don't actually do my other words. In other words, Mike, we see you.

I actually don't think Mike is gay, but that's what it's making him look like actually. I've never really thought Mike was gay. I always just think that he was like, it's not gay if it's a blowjob or whatever. I figured he was like, just one of those kind of gays, you know? I don't think he's gay at all, but I think that, but he has to realize that.

I have to stress, I could not care less about anyone's sexuality, maybe rise us, but then Mike's. Yeah, yeah, I can't care. I'm okay. I don't ever want to hear about you fucking. I'm still mortified that you're walking around with eyeshadow on. Yeah, his beard situation is really too much. Yeah, too much. It's like two.

So like, yeah, it's like dyed and shaped and it just looks terrible. Okay, so this plan is not good. Okay, this van goes to this little town. Oh, it's cool. Like art, baby, art, like Abrahamic, Jewish, art, baby, having a baby, Shalom, Shalom, hubby, baby. Isn't it funny how hubby, sounds like baby? Hubby, you realize that if you switch the A and the A and hubby, you have hubby, like, that's weird. realize that if you switch the A and the I and how baby you have high baby like that's weird. So she's she's planning on doing this big artistic video right but she wants to do it alone. So she tells she gives them a camera and she's like okay you guys are going to go around

the city and then I just want you to interview people you know be like hey you're Jewish what do you think about us as baby like you're not, what do you think about us as baby? Like, you're not Jewish. What do you think about us as baby, you know? Like, which Jackson is your favorite, you know? Because like at the end of the day, like some people are Jewish, some people are Christian, some people are Muslim, but they all wear calf tans here. And that's what we need to concentrate on.

At the end of the day, you know, here's the thing that people have to remember. You might be, you might be Islamic, you might be Jewish, you might be Christian, but the end of the day, I'm having a baby. So anyway, so yeah, this is like the worst... We can all worship my baby. They have suddenly all been recruited to be vice magazine, documentarians. So meanwhile, while they're off in the street, Asa goes and meets with Eliahum McLean, which is sort of an interesting interesting name there

and he's like, oh, Sarri can't touch you. Has it a Jew? So Slangive virtual hug. She's like, ah, we're all the same So I like I liked all these people she met because they all looked like they were Part of some part of Fiddler in the room, you know what I mean? Like maybe different productions of it, but they were just all these old dudes who could be homeless. Like the guys here who dress up like Mickey Mouse to get $5 on Hollywood Boulevard. I was like, are you really rabbi McLean? Well, I liked that, like the the Muslim dude looked like a Christian and the Christian dude looked like a Muslim.

I thought that was like a fun thing. And then the representative of my people, he just looked kind of crazy in general. But I look crazy, but rich. He looked like he was from Venice Beach, honestly. That's how I felt about them. And she's like, you know, all these people when they go on a spiritual pilgrimage, they have a cane because it's very hard, you know, all these people, when they go on a spiritual pilgrimage, they have a cane because it's very hard, you know, and I feel what it's like.

Yeah, she's like, I mean, she's like, it's perfect because, you know, I'm like out of breath at the pee every five minutes. So it's like, I'm like one of these old pilgrims because I'm pregnant. You know, it's like, I'm dealing with pregnant pregnancy problems. It's like, oh my god. I'm so terrible. She tells them, I mean, we're not that different, right? We all have hairy bellies.

We all have to be right now. They're like, oh, just $5, please. And then she's like talking about, she's like, this is a spiritual piece pilgrimage from me and my baby. I'm like, your baby doesn't know if you are on a spiritual pilgrimage or walking to McDonald's right now. Yeah, your baby just knows that it's a brain was just harmed on a plane because you're pregnant.

I'm flying. Oh, baby, just like, please stop talking to me. The baby is just like really bonding with Christina Aguilera. Don't look at me. The baby is definitely by the hair growing out of its ears right now. Okay.

Can't hear you. Please stop. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang is walking around. Res is playing with stray cats, which I think is funny. And come here, kiddie, kiddie, kiddie. The cats are like, oh my god. See, we were going to get rabies from him. It's like, this is why cats run away. We're here.

We're here. We're here. Just like, what is this man? So he's chasing cats and then we go back to Asa and she's interviewing the leaders with her camera and we see some of the footage. I'm like, bitch, it's out of focus. You came all this way and you didn't even check your focus.

You know what? It's like out of focus, like people's perceptions. That was the point of it. You came all this way and you didn't even check your focus. You know what? It's like out of focus, like people's perceptions. That was the point of it. And Mike cuts back to Mike and Mike's like, dude, resident goes after all these cats. You know, they have all these diseases. It's like touching a knob at a gas station bathroom, then eating chips and then accidentally touching a, you know, a penis and turning gay. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

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Do you think Mike P's without touching his penis? Do you think he's one of those guys to like kind of like shake it out and just P's all over the floor? I think so I bet he's one of those people you know your anoles when you know when they pee and then they flush You're like you flush too quickly. You didn't shake at the last drops and now it's dribbling in your pants Yes, I agree. I'm glad we thought about this. Yeah. So what? So what's back with the old dudes?

Like, have you ever seen the co-existent sticker with the fish and the donkey? In the car. In the car. It means so much, you know? So these guys, no one can get an interview with any, because they look terrified. You know, they're putting

stuff in airports now that reads your body language. Really? Because they figure terrorists will look scared or if someone's guilty, they can read it, right? You guys, you would have been thrown in jail in two seconds. They look terrified. They're looking back and forth. Okay, you're going to talk to that guy. Okay, we got your back bro. We got your back bro We are you talk. Oh, I thought you're still talking about ossa and the religious leaders I was like they they look like they're having a great time. Oh, no, those those people were yeah, there were the crazy hippies like sure giving them gum. Yeah, the rest of the gang long the street could not have looked more skittish and And they're sitting there and and Shervin's like hey, dude you want to talk you want to talk about being Muslim or no? No?

No, okay They're sitting there and and Shervin's like, hey dude, you want to talk? You want to talk about being Muslim or do no? No? Okay. What about you? You want to take a fluffle and are you Muslim or Jewish? No? No? All right. Oh, dude. No one wants to talk to me. Resom walks up to a falafel stand and he's like, hey, white girl. I'm trying to help my bitch girl. Awesome girl. And he's like, you're gonna have this falafel. Okay. Thanks.

Don't take it. That's worth it. Um, are you mad at the destiny? Are you Muslim, Jewish, the rest of it? Are you Sunni or Shiite? Al-Qaeda, do you know them? Do you like them? Okay, if you had to choose the best friend between Al-Qaeda,

I said to her Jesus, which would it be girlfriend? Which would be like choosing religion? between Alcada, I assist her Jesus, which would it be girlfriend? Bitch, be like, choose a religion. I thought Mike was totally right when he said how insulting it was. It's like walking up to us. Yeah, Mike was totally in the right, I think actually Mike was in the right

during all of his segment. Well, just during this part though, because then he goes, it turns out that he's not just right, he's also mad paranoid in nuts that they're gonna be murdered because he's Jewish. Well, Penny, I don't know who you think can tell that you're Jewish. You look like fucking it. And who said that? I don't think it's about him being Jewish. Well, that's a little bit later on, but yes,

they're going on and they're just going to everyone like, are you Jewish? Are you Muslim? And then the strangest part was when Megan showed up and was like, are you no tool? I was like, that's strange that you would look for that here. But I guess she's on the quest. She's on the quest. She takes out my nanny. Are you a no tool? Are you a Muslim or a tool?

Yeah. Are you a no tool? A C.I. A Koyeda? Yeah. And then I'd like after doing it. That's the dumbest of damn. Tell me the truth.

It's a burning question Is it canon or canin So then like these genius these geniuses after like three hours like Wait a second Do you realize that like everyone here is Muslim and that no one here is Jewish? It's kind of segregated, huh? It's like, oh, well, congratulations for having eyes. And Mike's like, oh, you guys can't do that because look, you say, like, hi, I'm America, and I have a camera. And then one guy's like, okay, okay, here's a falafel. And then you walk away,

and he's like, God, but that, and then that guy calls another guy. It's like, ah, paracara. And then boom, you've got a guy on the roof snapping people away, you know? Look, is this guy, did this guy found a find a way to get his meth on the plane? What is wrong with him? I mean, I don't know the rest of the time he's looking around like. Okay, geez. The more the more nervous he got, the more his hair started turning to like a hammerhead shark. There was something, something was strange.

He was like going out and was going wide and, and it was just looking very, very bizarre. And Ressa's like pre-writing his Yelp review. He's like, I'm told we're going to travel to this beautiful town where Muslims and Jews have lived in our many percentualy. And now look, I'm like, okay, what are you gonna bitch about the filafel on Yelp Resa? I will defend, I'm going to defend Mike a little bit. Okay, Mike has someone who bitch about the falafel on Yelp, Reza? I will defend Mike a little bit.

Okay, Mike has someone who's been to Israel before. He understands it better than these people do. And I think that his main thing was that they're outsiders and they're westerners, you know? And don't forget there's also an entire Bravo production team that's following them around. So, I think that he was probably his paranoia or his nervousness was probably fueled by the fact that he's Jewish, but at the

same time, he's been there before he knows the country, he knows the culture of the country or at least more than they do, and so I don't think that he should just be dismissed as being Kuku Birds, but it was kind of fun to watch him get nervous. Right when Resa says, I wouldn't get the fuck out of Dodge. It's not all rainbows and glitter like awesome makes it sound like. And then it gets awesome. Dancing on a roof with all the guys. It is circle. It has sunset. It's like the United seniors of Beneton at sunset, you know. And then she goes, you know, I'm an artist from Venice. I'm having a

bivisial baby. And this is everything I'm about. I feel like there's hope for the world. Like you mentioned that you're having a baby out of wedlock have you. Because that's something we can all pretty unite on. We can unite on pretty quickly here. Yeah. So then, so then, so then, thanks for the, it's like they get her bread. Yeah. Oh my God. They love carbs to I'm gonna bring my friends here This is great because my baby is on your right now because I'm having a baby So okay, and then down the only thing that could make this thank you a great Please thank you. It's all I need it like they know, you know, so then down on the streets

They're like this is what they're talking about before they're looking at trinkets and there's like a toy gun and they're like This is what they grow talking about before they're looking at trinkets and there's like a toy gone and they're like this is what they grow up in it's like You know I agree, you know it is a little disturbing, but it's no worse than what's in America? I know it's way easier than what's in America here We're like here's some virtual reality glasses. You're really a cop killing serial killer Have fun five-year-olds like that back back in the real killer. Have fun five year olds. Back back in the 2000s when current TV was on the air, they would have these like documentaries, little documentaries and there's one with this and these two white guys into my car through park here in Los Angeles to see what it was like

to get like this is how you get your fake ID to get work or whatever. And they were like, and so this documentary they were like they were like watching the park and they came out like, So this documentary, they were like, they were like, washed into the park and they came out like, oh my God, we just saw, what might have been a drug deal. And they just show like a Latino guy standing there and they're like, this is real guys. This is real.

Look, I think the reason some of this was so offensive is we're used to seeing white people act stupid. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I expected more. And when Residus, like they're sending machine guns to three and up, it's like a terrorist Christmas gift. Like you know, they don't have Christmas, right?

I think guns are like white and green. Yeah, you have to have Christmas. And then at one point, a little kid comes by on a bike and the music is like, don't, don, don, don, don, don, and I'm like, come on now. I know it's like a kid comes by on a bike and the music is like Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh you know, and they're like, we're going down to Mexico and they've used hipsters, like Fred Armason and, what's his face, he dresses hipsters, and they're like, in Mexico, and they're like, we're getting real right now. Look, there's a guy in a bike, whoa.

That's what this entire thing is like. There's a terrorist in his getaway vehicle. It's a 10 year old on a bike. Yeah. So now they're like heading back to the van, and they're all, at this point, they're skittish. Mike has made them all very, very nervous, whether it's justifiable or not.

And us is like, babes, babes, you're admitting like a nervous energy. Like you're going to get what you put out. Like if you're nervous, they're going to shoot you and that's your fault. She's like, guys, it was amazing. It was like life changing what I just did. You know, the future looks so bright. And Mike's like, um, she's living in a dream world. You know, look around. there's guns and hatred. You come into the lion's in you know what's gonna happen and you're gonna

put mustard on you. I was gonna hear from you again okay. Look you think it's safe here? There's not even a single chocolate croissant for MJ okay. Well didn't someone pass them at one point and go brrr brrr brrr brrr brrr. That's what Mike has to say. I didn't hear it personally. I don't hear it either. But Mike has to say. He won't make it gun noises, man. You know, I think that's not good. bruh bruh bruh I was like, MJ could have just been pulling up her bra.

Like, this guy is so paranoid. Yeah, actually very loving right now. Because at one point, Reza gets scared by the stray cat. He's like, oh, oh, I thought that's a stray cat. Was it her? I like it. I like that Asa told him, oh, oh, I thought that's Traycott. Was it her? I like it. I like that. I told him, babe, you can't come into this relationship

with this country with the hateful heart. You know, it's not like he's like Robert Redford, some blonde guy. He's resa, like I don't know where he thinks they see. And he's like, babe, what must I've got to respect that? And she's like, well, how will they learn to respect you? Unless they see this big hairy guy with the mustache just like theirs, who just happens to have an octopus diamond brooch.

You know? You don't understand. I came in here to pet the cats and all I got in return were cats running away from me. They don't accept me here. Like, in this place they even push me around so way from me. Bitches, be like, get out of here. We don't accept you. And I'm like, Motherfuckers, I don't even want to be here in the first place, bitches.

They don't even have Asian drivers, so my material doesn't even work here. So they start walking back to the bus or the van or whatever, and the music's like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun and there's a close-up of a stray cat stalking the bus. Like, you're gonna get that gay person. This stray cat's truck is gonna be the last one they ever see. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. I'm gonna follow that gay and pussy will prevail.

So then in the van, Mike is only freaking out because he's like, it's like walking into the hood with a Rolex and Gigi's like, it's like walking into the hood with a Rolex. And Gigi's like, Mike's being ignorant, although it's too much. Did Mike literally walk in there with a Rolex? Like that's probably, it's like these people. And Sir, sir, it's like he's a ignorant. I mean, he's been close-minded. You know, I get it, but like too much. And Destiny's like, babe, that's like everywhere that you're describing.

Okay, you can't wear your Rolex in any hood, not just this hood, all hoods matter. And then all hoods matter. And Mike says, yeah, but the two who made that machine can sound pra pra pra pra pra and Gigi's like, that's not fair, it's ignorant. Gigi, I like when Gigi is sober and still wanting to fight for no reason. Yeah. I mean, she's maturing. Well, she's still annoyed that she had to get brought to Israel in the first place. So they go back to the hotel. She's waiting for her wall-a-log.

Yes. So they go back to the hotel and now they're getting ready for Shabbat with Mike's family, which meant that we got to see Shervin shirtless, which was always a thrill. It also meant we got to see MJ's dirty feet, which was also a thrill. Oh, that was disgusting. Someone posted a picture of that on Twitter for us. It's right when Tommy's like, hey, beautiful, hey, beautiful, it's like her dirty feet. So then it's like, now that, so now Mike and Assa go ahead of the group to the Shabbat dinner at this restaurant and it's nice you know you get to see Mike's family it was a really nice scene they all these people come in

Mike's aunt who we unfortunately learned had passed away by the end of the episode not by the end of the episode at the end of the episode, at the end of the episode we learned. She just, the episode was too much. Um, just like I'm only here for you, mine. It's nice. So they all come in and then the rest of the gang shows up and Shervin's like, oh, Shabbat Shalom. And it was like, ah, you know, because I think it's cute that he's like, you know, making effort and he's like, what?

What? He's like, I'm trying to be respectful. I mean, I can't speak, I can't speak Spanish really, but when I go to Mexico, do I say, oh, yeah. Oh, my God. He's the most angry I've ever seen Shervin. I know.

Love the passion. Yeah. She's like, I don't really get under his skin there. Love the passion, new Sherf. Yeah. So Yoshi, Uncle Yoshi, Yoshi. He's like, we believe God created the world in six days And on the seventh he arrested and if God can rest we can rest

I'm like wait God created the whole earth in six days. Let's not let's not make this about comparing ourselves to God How about we just take an app and enjoy that part? I'm creating the world like I'm already there So just take an app and enjoy that part. I'm creating the world like. And Jay is like, I'm already there. So, um, and I was also holding her stomach like right now, my baby's hearing a very important speech. My baby is my world. And I create my baby in six days too.

So, um, so then, so, Res is really feeling his Jewish side, which is nice. And, and Mike is like, I realize, no, I want to start a family. I want to have a legacy. This is like real man. This is like real, like blah, blah, blah,. So then res it gets up in front of the family to make a speech Which I don't know why he needs to do this But he does and it's obnoxious because he's like today

I went to ako and it was like Muslim and there were mean in the straight cast didn't come up to me and it was like Not cool, but now I'm here at the real Israel because this is like the cool part being with my fellow Jews And I'm like yeah, like this part is which you wish people just put a lot of food on the table and that's a language We can all understand Shabbat Shalom Kapooful God whatever pass a wing so now and GG is mad GG's you know she so I mean here's a thing I Gigi's, you know, she, so I mean, here's the thing. I, I, I'm even, I'm Jewish and I still thought what Riza said was like a little, was sort of disrespectful to the like passive aggressively indirectly disrespectful to the Muslim friends

he brought that were there at the table because it was very much like, I don't know, they said it just the way they said it, you know, it's like it just sort of felt like he was kind of just putting them down indirectly. Um, but Gigi is always happy to play a victim. And so she's just like, I'm gonna grab my wine, I'm gonna drink it, I'm gonna be angry because he's shamed the Muslim town that we went to, I was like, oh God, classic GG. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, the good thing, I think she had a right to be mad, but she doesn't know what the fuck's going on either. That's what cracks me up about GG. She's just his ignorant, but she doesn't like those comments, which I don't blame her. I mean, he's an ass. She loves to be persecuted. So like, even though what he said, he was like being an ass, she's like, well, now she can make a thing about it, you know, like a classic Gigi, you know, Mike's just glad he got to show off his new eyebrow pencil. Meanwhile. So the next morning,

Rest in Asa, he's like, are you okay? Are you okay, babe? She's like, well, you know, now that I'm pregnant, I'm so tired. I read that a pregnant woman lying down is more worked than a person doing a marathon right now. Like, hmm, I'm not going to say being pregnancy easy, but being as pregnant as a being as big as a pregnant person a lot of the time, I can say it's not like running a marathon. Shut up. And how would you know? Maybe if you're doing like a TV marathon and of like watching a whole bunch of episodes of the women. Yeah, this is like a marathon of the killing. Okay, then I get it. It's like 13 hours of pain. But so now Gigi's annoyed. I mean, I let her, I think that she should be

annoyed. She's annoyed at Resa before he was saying the night before. Yeah. And then Resa walks in the room. He's like, what are you guys talking about? It's like you. I like this. She's like, you, she goes, it's not the first time in Turkey Turkey when he saw those ladies and Berkaz he laughed and called them curtains And I started laughing that is that is terrible But I did you know I like to use like a some turd. Yeah, so then res so res of course You know anytime he's in a situation like this he pulls the, you can never understand my process. You don't know what it's like for me to be a fan of us. You don't know what it's like to be a gay man. You haven't watched videos of gay kids being stoned to death. I'm like,

whoa, you can't keep videos of kids being stoned to death. If you watch, you need to turn the channel. I mean, there's a difference between knowing something's happening and like setting it on your DVR. To be fair, he was watching the 1994 movie Kids. Where they were getting stoned at a party. Chloe, speak me. Never deserve AIDS. Do you know what it's like to see Chloe's if you get AIDS at a party? What about our Sargatoz and what's like to see close if you get AIDS at a party? What about our Sargha Dawson? What's happened to her? So then sure when it's like you guys the really important it everyone, but like, um, we're much more

fish out of water here than you are. So could you please like settle down? Thanks to Bachelone. He's like, okay, I appreciate your points and I will make more of an epitome of Islam Islam. I love all Muslims. I then MJ are wondering what Texas to Exito. What are we talking about? Like you sure about that So yeah, so it's a name and Mike's like I have a dream My dream is to execute because Mike because Mike is he hands out little pads everyone because they're gonna write down Their wishes because they're going to the Western wall and they're going to put it in the slots. And so MJ writes this novel that's like, I have a dream to actually get a passion project

and then also to, you know, it's like to be much better about telling the manager my building when the vetting machine is out and cleaning my feet before the cameras come in. It's so long and she's crying. And first of all, that's when you roll up a message and put it in a crack, right? I think I saw it on something. Yeah. What is it sponsored by Moleskin? Like, she's riding an entire book, an entire book.

Like, you guys, you don't get the entire wall. Okay. So she's reading it. She's like, you're putting a remit paper from staple. You don't need to be more specific. God is not interested in the rollercoaster ride. You want to take him on. Okay. You need to say I want to get married. I want to have a baby possibly lose some way not that young He starts like listing every awful thing wrong with MJ while he's trying to just you can't get mad And all she's hearing is chocolate croissant chocolate croissant chocolate croissant Dear guy can have a chocolate croissant. Thank you execute chocolate croissant

If she picks up a cloth catering napkin and blows her fucking nose in it is so disgusting a cloth catering napkin and blows her fucking nose in it is so disgusting. Beyond disgusting MJ Shame. So they hop in their van, they had to Jerusalem and rest his like, wow, it's Jerusalem. There is no other Jerusalem. Like Jesus wasn't cruising around in Santa Monica or downtown LA. He was here. I'm like, yeah, no shit, you're like, what's your point? Do they wouldn't say he was in Santa Monica? I mean, I know that we have West Hollywood Jesus

to be fair. There's a guy named, there's a guy who dresses like Jesus, but like, He was cracking me up in this ride though because they were gonna joke that Ausa had to sit in the way back or something. Yeah. And so she gets to the car and she goes, oh hell no, that's not funny. And rest is like, you know, I love my girl Asa, but she's like one to magnify what up.

And then we have a montage of Asa complaining like, oh, you know, babe, the cigarette smoke, oh, you know, babe, it's like hot. And he's like, babe, we all go through it, okay? Like back in the day, pregnant bitches used to roam the desert, okay? I'm like, bitches be like popping out babies in the desert, even if they had a headache, okay? Like, what are you gonna be surprised in you? Pop out your baby in a barn and there's like three hairy people standing outside there to give it like incense? Me and change serving like who else is gonna be there?

So they they're you they got to Jerusalem Resilite this places popping back in the day and then he's like Like I got a piece so bad which is like the 10th time you set up this episode like every five minutes Resil has to be Which is good because that's a good like symbol for this entire series. Um, so they get learned. I told you a couple of weeks I learned how to spell Yamaha because I was reading this book about a Jewish kid and it spelled Yarmulki. I know.

I don't understand that. I don't know why it's not so like Yamaha, but with a K instead of an H. Yeah. I never, I didn't get it while I was reading. I actually looked at that and I was like, duh. It's a Geomica 88. You're milky. But even now that I know how to spell it, I'm

trying to get my notes and it still looks weird. You can always write Kipa, which is how you say it in Hebrew. Oh gosh, you're going to explode my brain now. It's like writing Kip and then you add an A H Kipa. I think. You can only learn so many things in a week. All right. So they get to the prayer the prayer wall the western wall

Mm-hmm, and they're these Fountains where you Well, come to yourself and before even the fountains I like how Mike suddenly becomes like the spiritual advisors to group. He's like, okay MJ Now you go up there and be specific at the wall You need to be specific you need to ask for something specifically. It's like no Mike Just let her do her own spiritual thing, okay? Yeah. Tell it. You don't want to be a fat loser anymore. He is, guys. So they go to the fountains. Yes. So you just to wash yourself before

going to go. It's also just so kind of just this greedy American way, you know. Like make sure when you go to the wall, you're specific about what you want. Okay. It's like a shopping list. Yeah. So there's women and men's science and there's these fountains. And he's like, Mike's like, well, it's separate because your mind has to be pure. You can't like be thinking about someone's hot implants where you're like trying to get your new skateboard, you know?

And someone tell one of the women tells these women, you have to be covered here because all their boobs are hanging out. Of course they have like, like, leave it at the Western Wall. I know Gigi's like, we have to cover our chest. Gigi is again, like she's on a whole thing. So, so then just pour Shervin. Oh, man, like, I, someone you like Mike being the resident Jew of the group, or like, super Jew of the group, he should have helped Shervin out a little more. Shervin, like, couldn't even keep his Yamaka on.

He's like, oh, I do, I don't know. I suppose, what am I supposed to say something? Am I supposed to pray? He was too fucking greasy, dude. That's what I said. His hair is, his hair's an oil slick. Yeah, I was sliding off. Nothing.

Nothing he could do. Like if I had MJ trying to figure out how to get her fucking feet in the fountain, you know, you know that like somewhere the big brother producers were watching it and we're just like dying that they couldn't add in a slide whistle every time the Yamaha fell off his head. So so Mike puts on his shroud and he starts kissing the wall and then the wall falls of Climidia. The wall's like you know what I think we're close for today. The wall starts breaking out in scabs. But Resa starts praying at the wall and he might as well as be a shadow on the crevices. If there's like an imprint of a beard, I've like, it's like, remember that thing used to play

with a New York kid, like the magnetic thing with a pen and you put it on the face and it makes a beard of magnetic shavings. There's like a fake beard on the wall. Oh my God. So, but it was actually, believe it or not, it was actually like a very nice moment. It was like, I thought Resa's moment

where she's teaming about his grandfather, you know, because he has that weird situation with his grandma who hates him. I actually really thought it was moving. But they're having this introspective, powerful moment, and Gigi's like, it's just a wall. She goes, why do men have so much more space than women? She's like, I mean, I've seen it before, but at least I've seen it before. Like, it wasn't just for a wall. She's like, this wall seems like a blockage because she's like, I see a temple, I see a mosque and this is just like a wall. I'm like, well, maybe you should read about the wall and find out why it's spiritual to people. As top being such a dumb bitch, because you're trying to make a point, but the temple in the mosque are next to each other without a wall which is kind of the point you think you're making but you're not yeah

also last week I said next week we get to see Resid talk about how spiritual this is Woli dances around with the GoPro not a GoPro it's like some prayer oh yeah dang oh is that what you were saying I was wondering why you were talking about GoPro's I forget what it's called But it's the pretty you just see the square on his head He's like No, it's um I forget what it's called I remember like when I was in eight like seven thirteenth grade We had lessons on how to put them on because what what it's it's their straps

I go along your arm as you saw and they go on a specific way around your fingers and your palm and all that stuff And there's a certain number of times It goes around your arm. It's like a whole ritual thing and it puts a fist bitch Be trying to take my blood pressure Bitch be like now is not the time Bitch be like lower your salt bitch be like how you're gonna get an accurate blood pressure reading if you're making me dance in a circle So um, but he is so they're doing that and then Gigi's like, I just want to break down this wall. Like Gigi, like you can't, here's a good thing.

I go K Ronald Reagan. Don't, but it's also like, don't, like here you are, you know, Rheza says, you know, Rheza the night before says something that is like passive aggressively disrespectful to Muslims. And it really, really annoys you, and I respect that. But here is like a super, super, like, holy, religious place for Jews, and for a lot of people. And you're just like, it's just a wall. I mean, like, how would you like it if someone went to Mecca? I was like, it's just a box, you know?

It's like, like, how would you like it if someone went to mecca? I was like, it's just a box, you know, it's like, please, Jesus. Yeah. And also her like men and women's separation and women's rights and all this. It doesn't only work when you apply it to part of the Middle East. Like, you don't get to be like, oh my God, this is so unfair. Meanwhile, you have to like have your hair covered at all times, use separate entrances. Like, yeah. And she said that she was used to sing in the Middle East, but this time it just really struck her. I don't know. I think that she was just, I think if she has an opportunity to feel like she's not being accepted or understood, she's going to take it even if it means shading the western wall. Oh my God. Ah, so funny.

So, so, I'm, but you know what though? I'm sure that next week someone will be like, Gigi, come with me and then they're gonna like show her and then she'll have an experience and she'll realize like, oh, we can all be spiritual. Girl, if you want to switch Gigi's mind, just show her a hot two. She'll be like, oh, I get it now.

Yeah, and there are many, by the way, Israelis. I got the internet. Yeah, if you want to look up some hot Jews people, you just look up some Israeli men, because they're either gonna be, well, they can go the other way too, but they are some gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous Israeli men out there. So, ah, all right, alright men we'll wrap this bitch up shall we? That was a fun note to end it on. So is really man. So guys thanks for listening tomorrow we are back

with Orange County. Wednesday we're doing Real House wasn't the Ellis. The Low Deck med will be within the York on Thursday because they're both doing reunions this week Friday is Oakland So thanks for listening as always and you know go buy tickets for L.A. Show with Jeff Lewis, etc Bye Hey prime members you can listen to watercraft andins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about

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