Watch What Crappens - #68: Rubber Chinplants and Foxy Brown's Community Theater

Episode Date: April 4, 2013

On this episode of Watch What Crappens, Matt Whitfield (Yahoo), Ronnie Karam (TVgasm) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) go through a rundown of all the new shows Bravo just announced, followed by chat about the Real Housewives of Atlanta Season Finale and the Real Housewives of Orange County premiere. What the hell happened to Vicki's face? And maybe Miss Piggy references were less painful that what she's gonna get now. Enjoy! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. hey everybody welcome back to watch what crap ends a podcast dedicated to all that crap we love on bravo this is a spectacular two-part episode. This is actually episode 67. Thank you for sticking with us. It's a double week because we have so much to talk about. My name is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo.

Joining me as always are Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam. Say hello, boys. Hi. Are you guys tired yet? This has been a long one. I'm exhausted. I don't know if I can talk anymore. Get a Gatorade and settle in because we have so much more to discuss.

But before we do that, let's remind everybody where to find us on the interwebs. You can find us on Twitter at What Crappens. You can find me at Life on the M-List. You can find Ben at B-Side Blog. And you can find Ronnie at TVgasm. Don't forget to join the conversation on Facebook. We are at Facebook.com backslash watch what crap happens it is a fucking party

and I said fucking because some people on our iTunes comments said we like it when Matt curses so here I fucking go yeah you go you go girl you go girl I am going you go you fucking girl so anyway

on our last episode we discussed things, including a lot of gossip and a lot of shit, such as the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion part. And we also discussed Married to Medicine. But on this episode, before we get into the season eight premiere, I cannot believe I'm saying this season eight premiere of real housewives of orange County and, uh, the real housewives of Atlanta season finale. We must discuss the big news that came out, uh,

today, which is yesterday for those of you who are listening on Wednesday, but Bravo has just released a slew of programming information. We have 17 new shows in the mix and 18 returning shows. And I don't even know where the fuck to begin. They just vomited their entire development slate on top of our faces and i'm not sure i like most of that barf no why don't we it sounds kind of like they ripped off um like telemundo yeah just like put it in english well what's interesting what's interesting going through the new shows that they've greenlit and we're going to go through them momentarily is that, first of all, you can see what each show is going to be like.

You can already imagine the promos and you can also then from your imaginary promos see how quickly you're going to change the channel. You know, there are certain Bravo shows that come along and they're these generic shows like Misadvised or whatever where you see the promo and you're like, ugh, stupid. Who's going to even watch that? And honestly, just from the descriptions of some of these things, I don't even know what they're thinking. I mean, I skimmed through the list and I was like the majority of these feel like Misadvised or Around the World in 80 Plates and not a lot of them are feeling as delicious as Vanderpump Rules. That being said, there are about two or three in there where I was like, yes, I will certainly be watching this. So why don't we just go through this list here?

Okay, kids, I'm just going to let's run down the Greenlit news series first and then we'll get into some of our returning favorites that we definitely need to discuss. And don't forget to remind me when we're discussing the returning favorites, we also need to discuss some of our other major franchises from Bravo that have not necessarily been greenlit for future seasons. There are a few things that still seem like they're on the bubble, a.k.a. Rachel Zoe. What about Gaga Ross? Notice how Gaga Ross was not even part of the conversation. And by the way, speaking of not part of the conversation, Ronnie, wake the fuck up. What?

I'm awake. You're talking a lot. What do you want from me? You keep saying you're going to introduce something. I'm sitting here waiting. I had a Starbucks, a cup of coffee, and two Red Bulls. Matt, he's just really amped from our last episode because it was so good. So good.

I had to watch most of my shows today because I've had a busy week and my cable broke. So I've had about three hours of women screaming at each other and I went on an Air Pop popcorn binge. So I feel a little bit weighted down by air. Okay. Well, Matt, why don't you read off the first

new show? We're going to roll right through. Read the description. Descriptions are hilarious to me. P.Ss air pop popcorn is really good with ice cream melted on it it's getting its own show on bravo it is it is air pop diaries one of the up-and-coming women in new york have to balance life love and popcorn fall 2013 can we just please have kim richards sits on a pillow as a show the fact that that was not greenlit as its own i was just like the kim richards laundromat experience dry cleaners can you imagine her like i love watching the shirts go around and around i like if you press the button it goes one way like if you press the button, it goes one way. And if you press the button the other way, it goes the other way.

I am fighting for the life of my launchpad. What do you mean that pillow's not clean? I blow-dried it. The amount of times I went to the couch during Reunion Part 2 claiming that she was totally lucid through the entire season. She is such a fucking liar. Well, you know he doesn't tell the truth. Drug addicts.

Drug addicts. Never trust a drug addict. No, no. They will steal everything out of your house. And speaking of things that are stealing things, Bravo is gonna steal all of our time with these upcoming Greenlit series. Good, that was good. Tell us about them. Ronnie loves a segue.

Yeah, I love a good segue. I hate walking. Okay, first up. First up is Below Deck. The upstairs and downstairs worlds collide when these young, sexy singletons known as yachties live, love, and work together on board a privately owned extravagant yacht.

No. Oh, wait, you forgot the all-important part is that they are dealing with the ever-changing needs of their demanding charter guests which is not always smooth sailing get it you guys because it's about a boat uh below deck i was sort of hoping for like uh the sordid tales of the black party in new york city but guess not yeah or like people ripping off card games in Vegas or something. Like Vegas, Caesar's Palace waitresses in those mesh tops, like not putting the correct money in the tip pool.

You know I'm obsessed with them and those like pantyhose that they wear that are like way too dark and not properly flesh toned. Yes, like when they had them before they turned into fried chicken. Right. And then like their heels are really not stilettos. They're like a chunky nurse heel. Now that's a show, Bravo! That's a show. Alright, so below deck,

are we going to watch this? No. Yes. 100%. We have to give it one day because one of the producers' names is Cortland Cox. Oh, yeah. Okay, we'll give it one episode. I mean, that name is just too stupid not to come out with anything good in his whole life.

Moving on. City Sisters. This series follows a group of single up-and-coming movers and shakers in NYC's elite circles of real estate, fashion, and media. These ladies are aggressive in their pursuit of personal and career goals. But in this cutthroat world where egos are high and the drive to succeed is even higher, success can come at a steep cost. Now, isn't this already the three of us, City Sisters? I was about to say, isn't this Gagirls? Gagirls. If it is Gagirls with, like, a new name, then yes.

Then yes. Otherwise, no. And by the way, what a very forced pun. City Sisters, I think it's supposed to be, like, City Slickers. Am I wrong? Yeah, you're right, but it's like someone who still remembers who fucking Billy Crystal is. I will have to wait to see the actual

promo, because, you know, for instance, a year ago, if you told me about Married to Medicine, I would say, there's no way I'm going to watch that. But here we are. Well, and you would have been smart. Have you seen the iTunes reviews on that? You should go to iTunes. They've got like one and a half stars. Good, good.

Which is way lower than us, because we have a solid five. And thank you all for the latest batch of reviews on iTunes. They were hilarious. They were all five out of five stars. And, oh God, we love you people. Yeah.

It's amazing. So the city sisters, my favorite thing is that they say it's a real estate fashion and media. Like they're just like general. They're like, yeah, this is, you know, there's like a podcaster. It's like, yeah, it's, well, it's just like, it's real estate, fashion, and media. They're just general. They're like, there's a podcaster.

Yeah, it's... Well, it's just like, it's basically the most unfocused show of all time. It's like, okay, it's basically just three women. It's people living in a city. Anyway, so we've only gone through two of these, by the way. And I guarantee you that the phrase is, worlds collide. And the phrase is, movers and shakers are probably going to be incorporated into the next 15 that we read and the word balancing there'll be a lot of

balancing oh my god i hate popcorn i hate all of this okay here's what i'm excited for well i'm already upset that we haven't heard one of the characters described as the next fat person those are my new Bravo favorites. Well, see, we should be working for Bravo. Okay, this one I'm actually excited about. Courtney Loves Dallas. Breakout star Courtney Kerr of Most Eligible Dallas, which, by the way, should have come back

because I loved it, navigates the lively Texas social scene with her group of sassy dynamic friends. We're sassy and we're dynamic. We have so many dimensions. We're going to and we're dynamic. We have so many dimensions. We're going to emphasize all these ridiculous descriptors that they keep using. She's out to rope herself, the perfect southern gentleman, trying to make a name for herself in the fashion industry. P.S. Was she ever involved with fashion?

No. Yeah, the burgeoning fashion industry of Dallas. But Courtney quickly finds that taking the bull by the horns isn't as easy as it may sound. Wait, I've got a question. I've got a question. Wait, what was your question? How many cliches could we fit into a two sentence description of this show? No, my question is, and this is coming from someone who watched Most Eligible Dallas.

Who is breakout star Courtney Kerr? Oh, you're so mean. She's the one that was kind of sleeping with her friend, Matt, who was going bald. I just couldn't remember what she looked like. She's blonde. She's from the famous Kerf Jar family. But here's my thing. I don't really like that Bravo is describing any of their shows as a woman roping men.

I don't think that that's appropriate, especially right after the Beverly Hills reunion and Taylor's shocked face through the whole thing. Yeah, and I think the whole doing like a spinoff of a one-season show like a year and a half later is sort of a weird thing to do. As if you would not watch a spinoff starring Chantal from Gal Girls. Oh, you are correct. Especially if she had an ex-fatty friend like they do on Most Eligible Dallas. My God. What would Chantal's spinoff be called? I think it would be called The Little Cup, and it would be about a boutique in Brooklyn where you go and you buy little cups, but you don't drink out of them.

You put them on walls. It would be like polishing lipstick off your teeth. For 59 minutes straight. And then you listen to Mumford & Sons. Oh, my God. Speaking of care jars. Okay, well, that looks stupid. Courtney may love Dallas.

Moving on. I just love Courtney. Divorce diva. When couples go for... I already hate it. I do to I don't. Vicky Ziegler is who they call to mediate, advise, and divide their assets out of court. Why let a judge decide your fate when the divorce diva can cut through all the drama to determine who will get what?

This is another one of these stupid Bravo shows where you have like – it's like in the same vein as Millionaire Matchmaker or Tabitha. But it's one of the generic ones like – what's the baby concierge one? You know the baby one? Pregnant heels. Pregnant heels. What a waste of my life. All these – it's like these things that we don't care about there was that one uh show that lasted one episode about a woman

who has a temp agency i mean this is what this is divorce eva who cares who wants to watch people going through a divorce and have some bitch yell at them right and if we want to watch people going through a divorce please put them on the house yeah what and What? And by the way, the word diva. Yeah, go ahead. I was just going to say the word diva is so 2007. No kidding. I was going to say, what if she really is a diva? And she's like, you get the cause.

Bonnie, if you're going to sing it, it needs to be a Madeline Kahn Broadway show tune, as evidenced by our iTunes comments and people love it. She has not done a lot of Broadway recently, unfortunately. Ever since she died, she just stopped working. Madeline Kahn, stop being so lazy, Mads. Wait, I want to say something for Divorce Diva. My only way I'll watch it is if

you have stupid white people from Brynwood and the Divorce Diva is like Candy Burr's mom who's prejudiced at all their stupidity. What is wrong Candy? You got divorced? For what?

No actually she would like be making people get divorced because remember she's like all for divorce. Who was she telling to divorce? Candy's mom. Was she telling Nini like Nini get rid of Greg? Yeah she's like all for divorce. Who was she telling to divorce? The Cammy's mom was like. Was she telling NeNe, like NeNe get rid of Greg? Yeah, she's like, sometimes it's different when you're with somebody they don't respect you. You gotta have your own life, NeNe. That's wrong, NeNe.

Here's what needs to happen. They need to have a cabal. Hold on. Here's what needs to happen is we need to pause because that is my favorite thing ever. Mama Joyce is seriously my favorite thing ever mama joyce is seriously my favorite thing so we still didn't get mama joyce by the way okay we'll talk about that later so go ahead but we know we need a cabal instead of a divorce diva we need a cabal of all the moms basically from miama and then mama joyce giving marital counseling that's what we need yes one percent and then and then whoever loses like a big stripper

comes in and like hits him with a big black dick yeah but we could just have that happen anyway what was that dude's name what was that dude's name that peter hired ridiculous oh ridiculous i love that ben and i were like what is it and ronnie's like oh i got him in my cell yeah i know i'm like a gas station owner with like pinups his name is it's not even like ridiculous it's like ridiculous it's okay moving on eat drink love single successful beautiful and connected to the restaurant and food industry in los angeles these ladies take on the traditionally male-dominated industry in their own way as they juggle a world where business always mixes with pleasure. No, it doesn't.

The rumor is that Kat O'Dell, the editor of Eater LA, is one of the cast members, and I actually... I like her. Yeah, and I spoke to one of the producers of this a few months ago, and... Is this Bob Gillen or Drew Brown? Neither. Neither. I'm

actually blanking on his name right now, which is too bad. But he says it's good. Of course he'll say it's good. But he says it's good. But they had to do a lot of editing and re-editing. This was a show that was supposed to come out like last summer, I think. Ben, close your ears. Ronnie, that sounds to me that it sucks.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it probably will suck. Yeah, but I have a couple of friends who produce shows at Bravo, and that's how it is at Bravo. They send 20-year-old out with handy cams, and then they come back with piles of shit, and then they put them in the editing room like for 10 years. And then by the time they come to us, they've got cobwebs and stuff. And it's like, well, maybe it will be less bad because it's a couple of years has passed. It's like, look, it's not wine.

Well, you know what, though? You know what? Guy Girls went through that process apparently. Apparently Guy Girls, they spent a huge amount of time in post trying to build the stories. Who cares? Thank God it saw the light of day. Thank Jesus for that. But here's my question.

Why are they not doing a show based on three single, successful, beautiful, connected to the podcast industry starring the three of us? It's going to come. I could be the currently fat friend. Oh my god, stop. I just object because I have to wear, like, pants. Is this based on that Julia... No, he doesn't. It is not based on Julia

Roberts' terrible movie. No, no, no. It's just that Bravo needs to get more food shows, and they haven't been able to make anything hit. So they're going to follow a food blogger and then I think maybe a food writer and then a chef or something like that. It's whatever. The only food blogger that I like is the guy who was working for Bethany, that curly-haired freak show from The Real Housewives slash Bethany's spinoff. I want them to follow one of those guys who works at a bowling alley and sprays the

insides of the shoes with the anti-fungal stuff. Yeah. Now that's a show, you guys. What would it be called? What would it be called? The spray down? Yes. When life calls for the fungus, Gregory has to find out if he's going to be rolling a strike or living

in the gutter. Spraying? Bowling for love. out if he's going to be rolling a strike or living in the gutter. Spray or bowling for love. Or the Super Bowl. Or spare me some change. He needs to change.

He needs to have a makeover. He's working in a bowling alley. They need to dress him up so he can find a girl. So it's called Spare Me Some Change. Or it's called Strike it rich and he's secretly like a multi-millionaire who owns bowling alleys across the country but he but he really just is like a blue collar kind of dude lucky strike strike it rich oh my god god why aren't we working for these why aren't we executives people what is wrong with us all right let's go on to the next one because we still have two shows to talk about okay by the way no wait i have one more thing to say business sidebar business does

not always mix with pleasure in the restaurant industry you know what the restaurant industry is it's a terrorist job it's horrible you're there forever you're on your feet people are horrible to you it's terrible you smell bar rot fuck the restaurant industry give me a break i don't want to see people falling in love in a restaurant. Bar rot. Gross. Yeah. I wouldn't know. I've never worked in a food service and or retail.

All right. So the next one. And or. I love it. The next one is called Extreme Guide to Parenting, which means do I even need to read the description? No, you don't have to. I already want to vomit. Parent, like kids and families do not work on Bravo.

This is a dumb idea. No kidding. It should just be like kids sitting in front of a TV. That's really how kids are parented anyway. My nieces are very well behaved and they know a few Spanish words. My sister just swaps them down in front of Dora. Dear Bravo, the only people that are watching your network are single, sad women and evil gay men. And we don't want to watch anything having to do with children.

We want to see bitchy ladies pulling each other's hair out and maybe maybe every once in a while, Tabitha can take something over. Yeah, but no babies, please. No babies ever. And that includes Skylar. But I do like this part because in the description it does say severe punishments. That sounds good. I like watching kids get beat. Okay, maybe I'll give this one a chance, Bravo.

Nice work. All right, so we can skip the next two because we've talked about them on this show before. Fashion Queens and the Candy Factory. Yeah, but Fashion Queens got picked up. Fashion Queens got picked up and so did the Candy Factory. And let me tell you, that first pilot that they rolled out of the Candy Factory was a piece of shit. I actually missed that. Well, this one actually featured this preview.

They showed it during Atlanta. And it actually featured someone who was singing on key. So that's good. That's good. Remember when Bravo tried to do a singing competition called Platinum Hits starring Joel and Cara Deaguardi? I was obsessed with that show, and it only had 300,000 viewers. Good luck, Candy Burris. Yeah.

Oh, that was a good show. I still remember one of the songs. Walk through walls. Don't even get me started on the other one. I love L.A. It's my city. Sung by Jackie Tone, former American Idol contestant.

She was so obnoxious. Follow her on the Twitter. Shut your mouth, bitch. I didn't like her. Can we just... We've got a bunch left. Shut your mouth, bitch. Shut your mouth. I didn't like her. Shut up. Yeah, I didn't either. Wait. So, okay. Let's – can we just – we've got a bunch left. Should we just talk about the ones we are excited about since this – How about I just tell you the names and then you can tell me yes or no? Okay.

Okay. Newlyweds, the first year. Yes. I really like the preview for this and I like that um it's in typical bravo fashion you don't know if the couples are actually going to make it because reality tv ruins couples and they get newlyweds and they all hate each other like none of them actually like each other which i love because marriage makes you miserable okay and ben why are you saying no um it's just because it has the words i didn't like it i didn't i saw the preview i didn't like it okay next one property

envy uh no especially because it's such a terrible pun. I mean, like, really. Just because, yeah, it doesn't even sound like penis envy. It's just Property Envy. Ronnie, yay or nay? I'm looking at the description. They open their doors to a panel of passionate property experts in this new panel talk show that explores the world of luxury. I don't want to watch a talk show about real estate.

I'm sorry. Guess what? It's called Million Dollar Decorators, and all you't want to watch a talk show about real estate. I'm sorry. Guess what? It's called, it's called million dollar decorators. And all you bitches need to do is re up some Martin Lawrence Ballard into our lives. Thank you. Yes.

Yeah. I guess I have no interest in this unless someone is wearing an ascot. Ooh. And shopping at fresh and easy. Oh, I need to get my discount grapes. Well,

those grapes from Inja. Do you happen to have any clementines on sale? Clarence, I must eat these bananas today. I don't like them spotty. Okay, what's next? Southern charm. No. No.

I'm sick of southern people. You know, listen, I'm a Texan, which I guess isn't most people from the real south would not say. Don't admit it. I know. Bush ruined Texas. You know that, right? And also all the Texans. But I'm sick of people making fun of southern people.

I feel like we get put on TV just because we talk kind of funny or say little meme-off phrases here and there. Like, don't leave me out like a chickie in the rain. Or something like that. Listen, every region. Oh my god, that's stupid and hilarious. Let's put him on TV. Every region has its moment. You know, there was Jersey.

And before that, there was a lot of Boston reality stuff. You know, it's just time for Texas and the South to get their due. It's okay. Blame Honey Boo Boo, Honey Child. We gave you people Whataburger. Get off our asses! Okay, speaking of Southern Charm,

the next show is called Taking Atlanta. Dear Bravo, enough with the fucking shows out of Atlanta. I know. This is one I have to see the preview.

If there's a lot of, like, fighting and funny drag queen type ladies, then I might watch. Okay, well, let me read the description. I know we're not supposed to because we were going long already, but Atlanta just got even hotter

as this group of ambitious young go-getters on the cusp of realizing their dreams work hard but play even harder. They are shaking up city's fashion, music, hospitality, and real estate scenes. Okay, first of all, they use the phrase movers and shakers.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So how does a concierge and a bellboy at a crappy double treat mix in the same circle as a real estate tycoon, a music intern, and a fashion person who doesn't really have a job? The answer to that question is in Big Rich Atlanta, which has all sorts of trash mingling with, well, pretty much other trash. But the point is this. Watch Big Rich Atlanta. You don't need this show. This actually kind of sounds like what the initial first few seasons of MTV's The Real

World was trying to do when each one of the people, one of the cast members was like, I'm an aspiring rapper. I'm an aspiring dancer. I'm an aspiring country. Blah, blah, blah. And this kind of sounds like Bravo's ripping off MTV. Yeah, probably. And it won't work. Oh, damn, blah, blah. And this kind of sounds like Bravo's ripping off MTV. Yeah, probably. And it won't work.

Oh, damn. Okay, next. Thicker Than Water, The Tankards. It's a docuseries that follows former professional basketball player, popular gospel, I don't even need to keep reading. No, no, no, this is not right. They're basically trying to build on their black audience. I'm just going to say it right there.

That's what they're doing with Atlanta, which is fine. Right, don't get greedy. You already have Real Housewives of Atlanta followed by Married to Medicine and Fashion Queens all on Sunday night. Do not go any more BET on us than that because guess what? BET will come back to snap you. Yeah, they will. BET will kick your ass in an alley. As they should.

Okay, there's – oh, Ronnie's going to hate this one. It's called Two Fit Girls. Yeah, fuck that. Fuck you yeah fuck that fuck you fit girls no no no i don't care this is gonna be like um the pirates of silicon valley whatever sort of startup different than any other bravo show that there's two of them excuse me it's the tone it up girls katrina and karina guess what i already hate them but the only thing that i need to see in the fitness universe on Bravo is Jackie Warner. Why the hell did Workout with Jackie Warner ever go away? It was amazing. I don't know.

But the description in this one says that these girls use their street smarts not book smarts to push themselves, which is hilarious to even say that they have book smarts. Who writes these press releases? I don't know. But I'll tell you one thing. The next one is the first one that I'm truly excited about.

This is the one that I will tune in. I'll let you read it because I am so excited. It's called Ladies of London. Sweetie! Darling!

Mommy's crying too, darling. Squish, squish, darling. If you remember, if you remember all the way back in the days of Housewives Hoedown, I always said they needed to do something

like a Housewives sort of in London, and that's basically what this is. Oh my God, who's Sally is ringing? I don't have a cell phone on. It's not even, it's my landline, and someone's trying to buzz up. Hold on, let me go hang up on them real quick.

Oh, that's a landline. Matt, you read the description while I hang up on this, people. Hold on. Okay, set in the glittering, class-conscious city of London, this new series follows a group of elite British socialites and American expats

enjoying the upper crust of the high society world. And while these Brits and Americans all live in the same city, have been married to rock stars, dated royalty, are darlings of the paparazzi, and enjoy wealth beyond belief, they are still culturally worlds apart. That means there's

a black cast member. Yeah. I think it sounds perfect. I love it, I love it, I love it. I want it to be like Ab Fab, just because I miss someone saying, listen, I want clear surfaces, alright? I don't want things on places. Safi, darling. Darling.

Yes, I'm already addicted to this show. I can't wait for it. And BBC, this is actually produced by BBC, and you know, they do a good job over there. Yeah, I want some nice passive-aggressive British stuff going on. I'm all for it. Yeah, sign me up. I'm watching.

I don't think they're going to be passive-aggressive. I think they're going to be like the people you see on Big Brother. Oh, yeah. That's good, too. The best show ever. Sidebar. Okay, now we're getting into the real mix. So the Ladies of London sounds amazing. And so does the

next one to me. So does the next one. Princesses Long Island. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in already. You don't even have to describe it. It's basically about awful women from Great Neck. I'm already envisioning

lots of juicy coacher sweatsuits with the word juicy written across their butts oh my god no the day that I decided to move out of New York I was in a subway train with bitches like this and I was like you know what my head is going to explode if I have to hear them say one more

thing I'm out of here and also I pushed an old woman down on the ground don't you want to hear about what's going on on Northern Boulevard oh no let's go get married at Leonard's you guys I have never been on the ground. Don't you want to hear about what's going on on Northern Boulevard? Oh, no! Let's go get married at Leonard's. You guys, I have never been to Long Island in my life. I have no idea. Yes, you have. You went to Syracuse. That's not Long Island, right?

Isn't that just upstate? I don't know. No, I'm just joking because most of Long Island seems to be upstate. You almost fooled me. Clearly, I'm blocking that shit out. I like that for a moment you thought you might have been on Long Island. Oh my god, I'm so dumb. Well, this is the first time I've ever heard the term meet members of the boomerang generation. What the fuck is a boomerang generation?

I don't know. It's like, in that our age, like, people who are old enough to have suffered through Eddie Murphy's bullshit movie Boomerang. Excuse me, I am not from the same generation as you. As we discussed last week i was born in the 80s well uh i'm part of the boomerang generation you know all this talk about boomerang would be the perfect transition to atlanta but i think you guys probably want to talk about orange county don't you um there's like 500 other things we have to discuss yeah no i'm the other ones are scripted and we all know we're not going to watch any of the scripted shows.

And the rest are also in development. They haven't been greenlit. Let me tell you a few of the titles, though, that make me angry. First one is Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce. It already makes me mad. I don't want to watch it. Oh, yeah, that's horrible. Stupid. 100 Days of Summer. Isn't that starring... Isn't that a movie with Zoe What's-Her-Face?

Yeah. That was 500 Days of Summer. Oh. Totally different. Days of Summer. Oh. Totally different. Okay. High and low. Executive produced by Michael Jackson. What? Oh, my God.

If he's still alive, how is his family going to win that $40 billion lawsuit? Fucking Jackson. Shut up, Jacksons. Let's see. There's Ivy League Confidential. Heiresses. I'll watch Heiresses. Oh, it's from an upcoming novel

from Sarah. I love that they're already making a show out of novels that haven't even come out yet. America's Best Restaurant. Yes, I will watch that. Because I watched the first one that failed and I loved it. Oh wait, here's one that I know

we will be watching for sure. Rich People's Problems, which is pretty much actually what we talked about before, which is that when the rich and famous of Atlanta have a dispute, they know there's only one lawyer who will deliver some cold, hard justice. Phaedra Parks of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I hate her. I hate her guts. She is so stupid. Phaedra can say the most witless things ever. She can try and be Judge Judy without the wit.

She doesn't even make any sense anymore. She just says it in a funny tone and squints her eyes. She'll be like, you crashed a car. You know what else you crashed? The sky. What? That doesn't even make sense, Phaedra. She'll be like, ooh, you can put that judgment in, yo,

but donk-a-donk, because you know yo, but donk-a-donk. Full of judgment. Excuse me. That ain't delicious, but it's donklicious. Nobody has enough time to star in two TV shows, have a husband, a former felon, have a child,

be pregnant with your second child, be doing donkey booty videos, be cremating dogs on the side. I mean, like, this woman has too much shit on her plate. Yeah, but she does it all extremely half-assedly, which is why she is terrible. She is terrible. We have to move on to our main shows,

because we, I think probably around five-ish, we might go back in time and record the episode that aired before this one. Oh, okay. So, why don't we talk about Real Housewives of Orange County, which premiered.

You are not talking about that yet. Why not? Because we have to be excited for the fact that Bravo has picked up Oh, yes. my favorite show, Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis

for a second season. Oh, that show was terrible. But they did pick up, they also picked up Shaz. I'm more excited about that. Okay, I'm just going to run down. Flipping out, Tabitha Takes Over, Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles, Top Chef Masters,

Million Dollar Listing New York, Shaz of Sunset, The Real Housewives of Miami, Yay! Chef Roble, boo. Vanderpump Rules, Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis, Don't Be Tardy, as we know, Chef Roble, boo. Vanderpump Rules. Yay, reluctantly. Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis. Don't Be Tardy, as we know.

We've seen all the previews. Jersey Housewives, Beverly Hills Housewives, Atlanta Housewives, New York Housewives. Top Chef and Inside the Actor's Studio. And Watch What Happens Live. Boom, boom, boom. What's not on that list, because they are too early in their seasons right now to make any final decisions,

are The Rachel Zoe Project and It's a Brad Brad World and Dukes of Melrose. I personally do not think any of them are coming back because the ratings are in the toilet. Yeah, those are really, really bad. And it doesn't look like there's any hope. I tried to watch it. Like, I watched Rachel Zoe and I thought it was so funny. And then I turned it on again. And I was like, I can't. This woman's an idiot idiot and all she does is walk around saying oh my god bananas cray-cray sky-sky

escalators Which is not much different from gallery girls except at least we had like the whole fight between the uptown downtown girls Yeah, and it's sort of sad when someone is like 65 years old and still speaking like a gallery girl who's 22. Rachel Zoe's only 39. I know. I'm just talking in terms of her face look appearance. That made no sense. My brain is rotting.

Her lip implants are 39. That bitch ain't 39. Well, she's a good liar. I will say this. I am sad to not see on the list. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt

to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make the list. Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school

where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History for Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?

Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more.

She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Blowout starring Jonathan Anton. I've been waiting for the

past five years for them to re-up the show, but it's not coming back. I don't think it's like Family Guy. I don't think it's having some resurgence. On DVD, it's not having a resurgence. Shockingly, Blowout is not doing really well on Cartoon Network, so I don't think it's going to come back. Anyway, I miss

Blowout. I miss Working Out or whatever with Jackie Warner. You miss all the shows without. And I miss fucking Gallery Girls. God damn it. Gosh damn it. Okay, now you can move on. Orange County! Here's a show that is coming back and has come back.

We had our eighth season premiere this week. What did you guys think? Amazing. Thoughts on Vicky's new face? Wait, we can't even go there yet. I need to brace myself. Okay, okay.

Strap yourself in. I will say this. Go ahead. I was just going to say, I think when we saw Vicky, that was her new face, wasn't it? Because remember she looked cray-cray and we thought, oh, well, maybe she just looks different in real life. They must have been shooting then, which means that that was her new face and that's why she looked so crazy. When was that last time we hung out and we went to that

show together? That was in October and this looked like it was shot over the summer. No, didn't you see when Vicky's grandson was born, they showed the date. Oh, yeah, you know you're right. And I have to say, I don't remember her having that strange Wicked Witch of the West chin when we saw her. No, when we saw her, she did not have that face.

Her face looked puffy. Well, it's horrifying. She looked like one of those candy corns that got stepped on by a muddy shoe. She didn't look right. She looked like my big toe after it's been sitting in a bath for about three hours. I'm not being mean. I'm actually giving an actual physical comparison. Well, I did want to say I'm sorry publicly because it made me feel bad.

I mean, she wasn't talking about us, obviously. But it made me feel bad when she said she got a facelift because Slade was calling her miss piggy because we talk about people's physical appearance all the time and like i i would feel horrible if someone went and disfigured themselves just because we called them a burnt piece of toast or something like that oh my god if you think about that carol radziwill i don't even know what she's done to herself after all the shit we've said yeah i'm just imagining her just going she's going to a doctor being like take it all off take my entire face off make me make my face look like it did the day before it happened oh my god stop vicky's face well i didn't see her on watch what happens but

where apparently her face was all settled in but her new face I agree with Ronnie which is to say you know we've sort of we have made fun of her face and I do feel bad that she then felt the need to butcher it even more because the chin everything it looked crazy it looks crazy

she looks so much older like the way her mouth now puckers weird on both sides of her mouth pucker in a weird way. And she looks like she has a creepy old lady granny marionette mouth. And it makes her look 20 years older. You know what? I think really the biggest problem is that chin implant. I don't think that chin implant was necessary.

It's very distracting. And like all the other stuff is fine. But the chin implant. No, it wasn't all fine. Are you kidding me? Her eyes now look tiny, and then she painted them with all that black raccoon makeup, so she has squinty little teeny eyes that get lost in her

big doughy head, and then she has a gigantic protruding chin that was so brushed up with extra powder, and it was freaking me out. It looked like a cone head coming out of her chin. Yeah. She looked like a mime because like her face was one color and then

everything else was another one. Cause it was still like the plastic was still healing, but someone in my family, I don't want to mention their name. Um, it's the person who gave birth to me, had a facelift one time and oh my God. Okay.

So it was like three weeks I think. And then my dad came in and caught her. I mean, someone else in my family came in and saw her standing in front of the mirror sobbing and going, I did this to me. And I remember. Is that why your mother drinks so much? No, this is during. This is during. Is this why you were born with four nipples and gills?

No, I think I'm the reason she drinks so much. Oh. Is this why you were born with four nipples and gills? No, I think I'm the reason she drinks so much. Oh, okay. But she, I remember that it took a good year for her face to not look crazy. Like, crazy. It just, it takes a long time to calm down. That's why all the women on the housewives look crazy, because they don't have, like, a year to calm down. They get it, and they go back to work, you know? God bless them.

Even Heidi Montag's face actually calmed down. I'm happy to report. Yeah, when you, you know, ladies, look, if you're getting face surgery and it doesn't look right, don't just keep getting it. It's not like a bad, I mean, it is like a bad haircut. You don't just keep cutting the hair to make it look better. You gotta wait for that shit to grow out a little bit.

Yeah, loosen up a little bit. You know, it's like breaking in a pair of jeans. Or it's like when you go, like, you know, you're, like, trying to look all sexy for, loosen up a little bit. You know, it's like breaking in a pair of jeans. Or it's like when you go, like, you know you're trying to look all sexy for a new date, and you're like, I want to get my hair cut. Get your hair cut ten days before that date, bitch. Because if you get it cut the day before, you're going to look like a freak. Yeah, seven days.

I would do. I would do seven days. I'm a ten day kind of guy. Well, I have a buzz cut, so there's a big difference between seven days and ten days. I got a fade last time. I look like I'm Vinny from the Jersey Shore. I'm not gonna lie. Where do you get your fate at Trenton trendsetters? They're really good. No, I go to bolt where they serve you beer while you get your hair old that sounds Exotic the monkey house. It's on Melrose. It's all the rage bitches I got it I got I get mine done in my bathroom

And I get it done on the same day that I shave my balls. And I look like Uncle Fester. So screw both of you. It's a full service salon. Yeah, totally. If I come over, will you do it to me? Sure. And Benjamin, you also have a goatee, which I've seen on Instagram. No, I shaved today.

Do we need to have a discussion? I would never have a goatee. It was a shadow. Let's have a discussion about Ben's selfie madness Excuse me, Matt Woodfield Matt Woodfield, the selfie king of Instagram What? What is that?

Oh, when you take a picture of yourself? Oh my god, Ronnie, you are clearly not from the boomerang generation Yeah, this is so not boomerang They threw me and I just never came back You are from the Stone Age generation Unless you have a BAPS wig on, you can leave this party. Yeah, that goatee is not okay and it was not a shadow. It was a full-on

goatee. I swear to God. I swear to God. And I can take a picture that I'm totally shaved today. I have a huge bushy beard and I don't know if I'm going to keep it or not. It's like really scratchy. So anyway. What? Did something happen? just no i just said wow oh that's how i said way you see we have a nice awkward pause so back to the show so what else happened i mean i feel like it was just basically that vicky got a new

face uh oh uh let's see alexis and jim they are finally done renting and they've finally moved into a house. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. They didn't move into just a house. It's a 6,000-square-foot house with five bedrooms and six bathrooms. And she rattled off all this other shit and then you looked at all their nasty art projects. And one very tacky little sculpture on the piano. What is wrong with these people? What do you guys know about art?

Huh? What do you know about art huh what do you know about art i love that alexis sort of like um you know she was saying how she doesn't do her fox five thing anymore which is a shame and she doesn't do oh she goes she stepped back from alexis couture as if almost as if it was it was taking up too much of her time well and then she also made it sound like ben she was too busy to do fox 5 actually no you're too retarded to do fox 5 and they fired you you were fired and no one bought any of your mini maxi dresses or don't get it twisted okay but then i loved how she was like you know i just i

realized that i really want to step back and focus on family it's like no bitch you didn't want to step back and focus on family jim told you to step back and focus on family yeah no kidding she needed some time to go into that foreclosed home that they're like squatting in who where the hell said where the hell did they get money to buy a home they do not have money who are they like the rest of development they're like the rest of the blutes you know they're just a bottle home they're totally in southern valley closed home whatever happened to the trampoline park because god i kind of want to have my birthday party it's open it's called the tiny the trampoline park? Because, God, I kind of want to have my birthday party at one of them. It's open. It's called the Tiny Terrorist Trampoline Park.

Oh, and by the way, and getting back to Vicky for one second, here's where the first problem was with Vicky's face. When she said, well, I decided to go to Alexis' plastic surgeon because he did such a great job. Okay, that's the problem right there. That's where Vicky went wrong. Okay? She should have gone to Dr. Terry instead of Dr. What's-His-Face, whatever. Well, she should have gone to Henson Studios because, like she said, she ended up looking like a Muppet anyway. At least she would have been given a more palatable personality.

I did love when Vicky said, they can tell it to my face, my numb face. Yeah, and I love how she phrased the whole thing like well i don't care if someone has a problem with what i did to myself like it's like poor thing you know she's had those i did this to me moments i just know she has she's probably you see her like sipping chardonnay and all goes dribbling down her face because she can't close her lips yes it's like death becomes her i was noticing on beverly hills like how how Kyle keeps sticking her tongue out like Cher. And I think it's because of all that Botox. She can't feel her damn mouth anymore.

She's just trying to make sure that drool is not coming down. She has fillers all around her mouth because she's one of those ladies that gets those like vertical wrinkles all around her mouth. And she's clearly plumped it up. And she has to keep sticking her tongue out to keep the hole open so she can breathe. She keeps spreading out her blowhole. Yeah. Wait, so can we

talk about the opening? We need to talk about the opening of the episode, which was Brianna is having a baby, Vicky is becoming a grandma, and the crazy thing is Brianna, who clearly was hating on her mother last season for dating Brooks, and her hubby, who is about to be deployed, are actually moving in. And Vicky is not moving out of Cotto da Casa. She is staying in that house. Oh, yeah.

She will. Listen, you can't get those Caliente signs anywhere. And that one came with the house. So she's going to stay there. That is true. Well, she was going to lose a lot of money on that house. So I guess she decided it was worth not selling and she they must have got a raise over there at the oc because alexis has a new home and she decided to stay and vicky's keeping

her giant home that she doesn't need they got some and gretchen has a new clock from cost plus world market so oh my god she's also the kind of chick who buys those like fat little ceramic chef guys with a big like poofy hat and like a checkered like waiter outfit who's like caroline manzo yeah and like and in his hand is like a little platter where you could put like some cupcakes on it and you know you've seen that shit at tj maxx like oh chip like the corners are all chipped and it has like a red tag on it oh absolutely and did you by the way if we're going to talk about gretchen's decor for a second what is up with the stack of sunglasses going up the ceiling like all the way to the ceiling in her kitchen do you notice that it makes me crazy you know the thing is this i just try to like

cover my eyes and just listen to the words because I can't look at her house. It's so difficult to look at. And by the way, Slade, so they talked about that. Slade finally got a job as a DJ on Playlist 92.7. Let me tell you how much Slade sucks. He sucks so much that that radio station went under and turned into a Christian radio station. So he is no longer employed. They were like, yeah, no, 92.7.

Playlist 92.7 is no longer Playlist 92.7. It became Christian. And the only way I can rationalize that or understand that is that they realized they had Slade Smiley on their staff and they just felt the need to repent massively for their sins. Yes, that's when people turn Christian, when they hit rock bottom. Yeah, when you get Slade Smiley involved. Look at any

AA meeting or fucking Death Row. Slade Smiley shows up. He just talked to a bunch of drug addicts and they're like, you know what? I think it's time to turn around my life. Yeah, I know that Kim Richards is still using because she hasn't started spouting Jesus yet. She will. Give her time. We're talking to Slade. Give her time.

We're talking to Slade. Yeah. You know, I mean, not much happened on this episode. It was fun. What are you talking about? It was just fun. A lot happened. Okay, well, Tamara is still a horrible, horrible human being.

Oh, yeah. And I love that she's acting like she has no idea why Vicky's so mad at her and how all this is partly Vicky's fault. No, it's not, bitch. You totally turned on her and started fights for no reason. And P.S., Tamara has some surgery too, but hers is actually – it made her look better, I think. Yeah, I agree. Tamara looks better. She looks good.

Vicky, Alexis, and Gretchen all look worse. It's crazy because you know I hate Tamara Barney – Tamara Vieth Barney more. because you know I hate Tamara Barney Tamara Vieth Barney more Tammy Sue Vieth Barney more than any housewife ever ever ever ever but girlfriend looks like the best one in the entire cast

she does she looks younger than Gretchen almost and Gretchen is about two years two or three years older than us yeah yeah exactly which is sad Gretchen's hair and her teeth keep getting bigger Eddie was doing the promo thing for her her gym which is cut and he had like's hair and her teeth keep getting bigger. Eddie was doing the promo thing for her gym, which is cut, and he had different things on the computer screen,

different versions of the logo, and one of them had these swirling lines through it, and it really does look like it says the C word, gym, which is so perfect. I just love it. I think it's so hilarious that neither one of them noticed that it blatantly says cunt gym.

Love it. We still think that he's a homosexual, correct? I don't know. I think he's like a gay guy who's just done being promiscuous and is like, I'll just fucking marry a housewife. I'll be around the drama all the time. You know she's dried up like an

old piece of Parmesan cheese you've had in the refrigerator for three years. It's not like it's going to require much. anybody who talks about his sex as much as stupid ass tamra barney does is probably not having it i learned that in high school oh oh my god i don't even know what to say to that but okay um okay can we get to the clam bake and can we get to um how i'm already seeing visions of the way Heather treats her husband is very kind of similar to the way Adrian treats Paul, and we saw that they are now divorced.

Well, the difference with that is that Adrian was the one with the money in that relationship, and in this relationship, Adrian is the poor one, so that bitch ain't going no place. Yeah, you mean Heather's the poor one. Heather's the poor one. Yeah, sorry. I also get the sense that Heather is a lot smarter than Adrian, by the way. Oh, no doubt, no doubt.

But I'm just thinking, like, she's kind of a bitch. And Terry is also nicer than Paul. Oh, yeah, she's got to stick up her ass just like Adrian does. And Terry is always trying to, like, goof for the cameras, just like Paul. He's just the same. And trust me, he loses his shit on her all the time, just like Paul. I can just see it. These shows are so similar.

You just know how it's going to all end up. So it's like we're going to need the divorce diva. I actually think that Heather is sleeping with the caterer who we have seen last season in the house. He's gay. I don't know. They have like a weird relationship and I think that they're definitely banging. I got a distinctly gay vibe. He made a

gay comment about the husband he he said uh are you staring at my wife and he said partly or something like that like he was also like hitting on terry and then terry was all uncomfortable am i the only one who sees this come on people put your gay glasses on i'm still focused on all the crap that was going on and like whenever i look at gretchen's house i hit pause and then i start counting all the things from TJ Maxx that upset me. It's like Highlights Magazine. Yeah, exactly. I feel like you're kind of getting at me right now because you know that my entire house is furnished by Ross Dress for Less, right?

Wait, by the way, for the record, I have plenty of TJ Maxx and Marshalls and Ross stuff in my apartment. For the record, I have plenty of TJ Maxx and Marshalls and Ross stuff in my apartment. But the key is when you go into those places, there's the crap that's there because no one wants it. And then there's the crap that fell through the cracks that you find. But Gretchen is the one who gets all the crap. The only thing that she doesn't get are the martini glasses that say Diva on them because those are all at the Posh Boussique in New Jersey. You know that Gretchen has those in her cabinet. boutique in new jersey you know that gretchen has those in her cabinet i mean she cannot resist a faux like distressed tin rusted rooster which is hanging on the door to her garage she cannot resist like a faux like american flag pre-distressed like welcome sign that she probably

puts dangling from her mailbox she loves this shit totally she goes to the art section and buys that like plastic portrait of an eye chart but it really says like love everything well she probably has like paintings of whales and dolphins you know on like in her living room oh my gosh she was totally that girl who went to the mall and got dolphin t-shirts in high school and you know that you know that she probably has a giant assortment of dishes and containers that look like the things that are supposed to go inside it so like a thing like a girl something that holds garlic that looks like a big thing of garlic or like something that holds onions that's in the shape of a big onion or like a watermelon basket or something weird like that you know she's like very literal with her dishware. She's very literal.

I love that she's like, hey, why do you name your party a clam bake? If I had a party with ham, I wouldn't call it a ham off. Oh, my God. I wanted to punch her when she said that. She's like, who throws a clam bake? I'm like, everyone. Look, here we are at the presidential house of the presidentials. Oh, my God. look here we are at the presidential house of the presidentials okay but really did heather need to hire two massive bodyguards for the front of her party

she bought it she bought them so that sarah couldn't get in for bogate 2.0 well all she has to do is put a little cake in the front she just has to put a little cake in the front of the house with a little trap and Sarah's gonna go over to it and then like a net will fall on her and then everything will be fine. No need for security guards. It's a very Kenya Moore move. Exactly. She'd be like, Sarah, I'm sorry, but

you don't have your BAPS wig on so we can't have you at the Clamping. I specifically asked you to be Halle Berry and BAPS for the Clamping. What kind of world do we live in? Okay, so what else happened in this one? So Tamara's afraid to see Vicky. Vicky's ignoring Tamara.

Okay, I don't even care about all that right now. What I do care about is in some preview, I'm not sure if it was the one they showed right at the end or if it was when they showed before. Whatever. It was the preview at the very end. I mean, the episode was mediocre at best, but the preview for the season was out of control.

Amazing. Go ahead, Ryan. Amazing. Where the son-in-law calls Vicky a bitch. That white trash motherfucker. You do not do that. You're living in her fucking soon-to-be-foreclosed-on mansion. You don't call her a bitch?

Yes, you do, because if you act like a bitch, you are a bitch. No, you do't call her a bitch yes you do because if you act like a bitch you are a bitch no you do no no no by some little runt some poor guy who can't even make enough money to move out and now he's serving the country how about you serve your baby and get a real job fool yeah i'm gonna get some army moms after me you come on i'm with ronnie on this i'm not i'm not against the military, but you know what? You can have your own housing, too. Why don't you go to military housing? I've watched Army Wives.

I know how fun that is. Or just even House Hunters. Yeah, or just be respectful to Vicky. How about that, ass? Why are you Team Vicky? Just because she has a sad new client? Because Slade made her upset? That's ridiculous.

We're not Team Vicky. Vicky is horrible. We're not Team Vicky. We're Team Class. And that's the whole point of this podcast, that these people have no class. And we're here gawking at their classless ways. Says the guy who's making fun of his faces.

I am Team Brianna until the end of time because she regulated her mother so hardcore last season by telling her I cannot be part of your life if Brooks is in your life and I will stand by Brianna and her man and her baby for the rest of time because she regulated her mother so hardcore last season by telling her I cannot be part of your life if Brooks is in your life and I will stand by Brianna and her man and her baby for the rest of time. But Brianna did it in an extremely classy loving way. She was not mean and she

did not call her mom a bitch. Now this guy is some snot nose little hanger on who comes on to live in a mansion instead of like properly supporting his family. Mark your words right now that when we see this episode unfold, you're going to go, Matt, you were right.

She deserved everything he said. Well, maybe he's not even talking to her. That's the other thing. They sometimes edit it to make it look like. Maybe he's talking to the baby. Maybe he's talking about someone else. He's talking to the baby. Tra is a little bitch.

Maybe I'm calling you a bitch because you're acting like a little bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. It would be great if he was actually talking to Brooks. Yeah, for right now, I'm not liking him, and he's making me really anti-American military. That's all I'm going to say. He's turning me into a terrorist, all right?

I do not approve of this character on the show. Neither do I. All right, any last thoughts on OC? The season preview looks amazing. And I cannot tell you how excited I am for the return of Laurie wearing hyphen Peterson because she comes back and she fights with Tamra. I'm excited for that. I'm also excited to meet the new girl who looks sort of like an anorexic Denise Richards. So I'm excited about that.

Anorexic Denise Richards with a gum disease? My god, look at that horse mouth. I think she looks like Dead Eyes Audrina from The Hills. Oh, my God. She's Audrina Patridge meets a horse meets Denise Richards. Meets The Walking Dead. Meets The Walking Dead with a lot of money because don't forget that her family is very well off. They live within their means.

They just have a lot of means. Cut to her speeding away in a Maserati. Yeah. All right. Let's go on to Atlanta. It was the season finale of Atlanta. I was thoroughly entertained by this finale because it was so stupid. The big controversy.

The whole thing was that Kenya finally had her gala for no reason that was honoring iconic black women in film. And she demanded that Portia show up as Halle Berry in BAPS. And to me, the request alone was hilarious and passive-aggressive. But then, of course, Portia shows up as Halle Berry in Dorothy Dandridge. And the shit hit the fan. Go. and the shit hit the fan. Go.

Well, I thought it was really funny to find out that the reason that she wanted her in BAPS is because Kenya was really producing like some Tyler Perry church come to Jesus show at the gala, and she had an actual scene built around BAPS. I know. Featuring the guy from Martin. Yeah, so when she couldn't show up as Bap,

she ruined the community theater production of Black Iconic Women and Families. Was Kenya having other women dress as, like, Halle Berry's, like, good roles, or was she just casting people to play Halle Berry from Bap's The Rich Man's Wife and Swordfish? She was... Basically gave every other woman in the party

an iconic, like, very impressive role to play. And then she gave Portia the Halle Berry role that was the most derided and most controversial, perhaps outside of Catwoman. Well, she could have had her play Big Mama from Big Mama's House. So I think that maybe she was just trying to make a good musical number. I still think that she should have made her dress as medea from tyler perry's medea's witness protection i love that she did not i love that the editors hate her so much that we hardly got to see her plan her big party because normally that's like a six episode arc yeah and we also didn't get to see any of the show we just got to see like the oprah part from the color the color purple you told hoppo to beat me

and then we saw like a random dance slightly offensive dance yeah then we saw the african dance which i'm assuming was also from the color purple when she goes to africa right oh i haven't read that book in so long so i don't remember read the book i never saw the movie who reads thank god sorry everyone audible.com by the way i loved i think one of my favorite parts of the party was when candy dressed as tina well i love first of all when candy said that she was angela bassett not tina turner from what loves what's love got to do because that was annoying me all week. But I loved when she goes up to Peter, and she's like, oh, are you Billy Dee Williams?

And he's like, no, I'm just dressed as Peter. How cheap was Candy's wig? She looked like a fraggle. Well, I can see why. I mean, she's probably like, look, if I have to go to this stupid party, I'm not putting more than $20 into this wig. No, she is cheap.

I mean, that's why she actually owns five houses, because she is a cheap bitch. She's like, I got a soda. Riley. Riley. Riley. Can't you get your mom a soda? And I like that Cynthia was told to come dress like Inspector Gadget, and he wasn't even black. It's like Kenya.

There's colorblind, and then there's stupid and peter was penny what's the dog's name on an brain wasn't the dog's name brain brain well we sure know that there's none of that on that show i thought it was pretty hilarious watching nini nini's um personality recovery season where she's pretending like she's so sensible and she just can't believe Kenya would be kicking out Portia from the party and who's you need to stop acting classless

and blah blah blah and everybody bows down to Nini now because she's been on TV is that what I need to get some damn respect in this world is to be on a shitty TV show that lasts one season because I'll think like damn it that's all we need that's why we need this to be on a shitty tv show that last one season because i'll do it damn it that's all we need that's that's why we need this to turn into a tv show so that way people will respect us for once yeah we could be like we were on tv you guys thank you this way we can get into like

parties and like i went to i tried to go to a mcdonald's party on thursday a part it was a party for mcdonald's and I was turned away. No, Ben. You know why? It's because you had that goatee. And you know who was there? Brandi Glanville. I was just going to say Brandi Glanville. And Kyle Richards and some others.

So people, you have to start – Wait a second. Tell all your friends about this podcast that we will be big enough that we can go to parties with the housewives and talk about them. be big enough that we can go to parties with the housewives and talk about them now was this a like a ronald mcdonald house like charity party or was this for the fast food place mcdonald's no this is what it was mcdonald's is launching a new product which i won't say because they didn't let me in so i won't publicize the product but they were launching a new thing and is it to try and attract skinny fit people i think so although chloe kardashian was there apparently also but they had it apparently neither skinny nor fit yeah that's why i was the

brand messaging was a little weird um but anyway they had it at paramount pictures and they had taiga performing and it's tiga but okay is it t a Tiga. Oh, I was calling Tiger. Okay. Anyway, so it's Tiga. Okay. Tiga. So I don't know. But the point is this. I was there with our friend Jenny. You guys know Jenny.

And we were supposed to be on the list and we weren't. And I wanted to be like, I am a co-host of the Watch What Crappens podcast. But, you know, we're just not big enough yet. So people, you have to like us. We're big enough on Facebook, but we need bigger. We need bigger so we can go into these stupid parties. I actually get invited to them, but I always RSVP no. Well, maybe you should rethink that.

If you want to go to any of them, let me know. I want to go to the opening of Pump, Lisa Vanderpump's gay thing. We are so going to that. Don't worry about it. Yeah, Matt, you got to tell us about these parties. Whatever, Matt. We have heard so many times that we're going to go here and go there and go here and go there. And guess where we've gone?

Excuse me, every time I invite you guys out for drinks, Ben's always like, I'm going to New York. Oh, please, please. So anyway, so I don't know. I guess what happened in Atlanta? Mimi went off. Okay, Kenya kicked out Portia. Okay, a question. Do you guys think that Portia should have gone to the party dressed as Halle Berry from BAPS

and rocked it and been the hit of the party? Or do you think she should have gone glamorous like she did and make Kenya look like a fool? Go glam, make Kenya look like a fool. She looked actually amazing as Dorothy Dandridge. I would never in a million years show up as BAPS. Look, BAPS is hilarious, but Kenya was trying to do that to embarrass her.

I don't care if it was part of her production or whatever, she was trying to embarrass her enemy of the season. And I am glad that Portia stepped up for herself and was like, fuck that shit. Yeah. And on top of that, you know that if like if Portia showed up and rocked the BAPS thing, you know that Kenya would have then taken all the credit for being like, see, I knew she would look good in it. I knew this is this is why I wanted her to be this way. I think that you're right that she was trying to be offensive.

But at the same time, she dressed as Foxy Brown. It's not like she was someone that wasn't dressed all trashy. So she was getting brushed up. But Foxy Brown is actually iconic. Foxy Brown is cool. Baps is not cool. When Baps came out, if I remember correctly, it was a big controversy. It really offended a lot of people in the black community because it was like just offensive stereotypes.

Well, I'm not black, so I can't answer that on behalf of the blacks. You will be calling up Mr. Ridiculous and getting his thoughts. Let's hit a dick up against the side of our faces until we figure this one out, you guys. Okay, I'm in. I think that if she was going gonna come dressed as somebody else she should have just stood up to kenny in the first place and said listen i'm not comfortable i'm not doing that do you want me not to come to your party i don't want to fight with you about it i'm just not doing that so who else that doesn't make for a good twist for the finale come on yeah the

producers were probably like you have to go anyway and i love how nini afterwards when nini's giving her the talk giving uh kenya the talk this is getting back to what you're saying before being like you can't do that we are one we are one since when did nini care about the unity of this group since when as soon as kim zolciak left and charay and they all know that they have to be nice to nini now because look what happened to charay charay was nothing but entertaining until the very last second the only reason her ass got fired is because of nini you know it was no diggity no doubt well maybe they can uh get back together as friends just the way as nini and kim are now friends again apparently oh no chara

can never come back because she's like disgracing herself in the worst way she's going on like a terrible reality show and like showing off her big hole in the ground house it's not ending well for poor Sharae Ray you mean the Chateau with the ice rink Chateau Sharae yeah that big old hole in the ground that big old sink hole y'all should the only thing the only entrepreneurial endeavor worse than Chateau Sharae

has got to be Gigi's hair extensions or I'm sorry Gigi's extensions I will give you that I will give you that all right well do we have any other last thoughts on Atlanta before I'm sorry, Gigi's extensions I will give you that Alright, well Do we have any other last thoughts on Atlanta? Before we get into what looks to be Yes, we have lots more to discuss You love to just shut me up

And I am not done talking Listen, it's not targeted at you I wasn't saying, Matt, do you have anything to say? Because shut up, Matt I was just saying, do you guys have anything else? Because we're trying to wrap it up Yes, I do have more things to say Please tell us matthew i

will start with porsche's husband cordell shutting down that little bitch that works for kenya that was her like little right hand man i loved it i was like cordell you go the better the less said the better you know they had some you know they had some serious hate sex afterwards. Oh, no doubt. And Cordell was probably on the bottom. And Walter was filming it. Yeah, Cordell. My favorite Cordell scene was the therapy scene when he was so mad that he was getting told off by that therapist.

You could just like, God bless him. He was turning red. I never thought I'd see that. But he was going to kill her. He wanted to kill that therapist. I want to kill the cast of L.A. Shrinks. He was probably like, I thought you were Frenchie Davis. I thought you'd give us a performance.

I was looking forward to this. You're not Frenchie Davis at all. Portia told me we was coming to rent. But I love that her answer to their marital problems is so sensible well is porsche gonna have a baby and then just be stuck at home and not have a career silence no so we need to get you know we need to decide how that's gonna work and he's just like fuming because he literally did say that she's absolutely not gonna go to work or have a career and i love that her idea of having a career is like

throwing parties for her dad's charity. Exactly. I was like, the joke's on Cordell for even thinking that she has a career. He should just be patting her on the back and saying, okay, okay. You're basically telling her you just don't want her to comb her hair anymore, because that's really the only difference.

Well, I gotta comb my hair. Hey, my hair needs to be combed i have a professional hair comb in my own hair i need a nanny to take care of this baby while i comb my hair i don't know what to do should i comb my hair or just have a baby i can't decide some people think i have a picture-perfect life. I wonder if she really thinks the phrase is picture-perfect. I wonder that every time she says it.

I'm thinking of her imagining just this beautiful picture of iced tea. A picture from TJ Maxx with the word diva written on the side. Gretchen's like, give it to me. Gretchen will fight her for that picture from TJ Maxx. I'll give you three chef cookie platters for one picture. Perfect. That ain't equal. I ain't stupid.

You know that Gretchen probably has like an oversized pepper mill that like maybe has some weird like like a goddess on the top. But you twist the goddess and Pepper comes out. I don't know. When she dies, it's going to be from some mystery illness caused by spices that come in those terrible tin bottles at Ross. She has some weird apricot strawberry jam that's been sitting on the TJ Maxx shelf. That may be a candle or a hand lotion. Or both. You light the hand lotion on fire and it's tonic a few other things from atl what did you guys think of uh phaedra's catwoman outfit oh it was great eartha kitt i loved how then they cut to nini in the confessional saying that is the best she's ever looked at i'm not kidding she should she should wear that all the time yeah even nini had to admit that real life earth a kid in real life okay a few other things i thought it was so tacky

slash amazing that at the very end of the episode peter goes after party at bar one oh my god that was so tacky tacky is this dude that's like equivalent of like going to any quote unquote gala and being like, hey, everyone, after party in the gravel pit behind D'Agostino's. We going to the McDonald's party. Let's go. Not the one with Tiga. The one at the actual McDonald's. The one with Tyga. So my favorite part of every single one of these shows it happens all the time

in the finale at the very end when they do the freeze frame and then the producers write nasty shit on the screen the funniest that we have to go through these so porsche's was all she only got one line it was cordell filed for divorce okay okay I'm so glad you said this because I had to buy all of these episodes off iTunes. Yes, I paid $10 to watch my shows this week. But I had to buy this shit, and it paused on that part to keep downloading. And I was like, is that all? That's all, Ronnie. That's all.

That's hilarious. That's all they gave her. I thought it was an iTunes glitch. That's all. Wasn't that evil? Don't you guys think it's evil producers? No, I think because they didn't want to make like a... I guess, yeah. There's nothing

left to say, really. She's that simple. What else did she do? I mean, that was her whole thing the whole year was being married. So I guess that's what you get. So what were the other ones? Nothing else fun. you get. Yeah. So what were the other ones? Nothing else fun. Just that.

Okay. So Kenya's still crazy. Yeah. Kenya turned out to be really, really crazy. And I think she just sealed like a 10-year contract on this show. Oh, she definitely did because the ratings are through the roof. So Kenya, as long as they keep Kenya, I actually think that they think that they could survive without Nini now for the first time ever, which is crazy to talk about. But that's exactly what I think they're leaning towards.

She was quoted by Beyonce, enough said. Yeah. And then to you guys, oh, my God. By the way, I looked on, I don't know if I was looking at Wikipedia, but like just all the different episodes. There are two, maybe three reunions, a lost footage. I mean, there's like five more episodes of Atlanta. I'm just letting you know between the reunions and the lost footage and the secret blah, blah, blah. Oh yeah. I, I, there's this reunion. I'm so massively excited about. I cannot wait for Kim. I love that they have Kim Zolciak to come out to the reunion. I

think that's great that they're still including her. She was there for the first third of the season. Oh, and she's going to get dogpiled. I love it. Okay, so we're going to have to go because we have a time machine to jump into and record the second half of this or the first half of this show. So if you are listening to this. You're ruining my whole setup. My whole setup at the beginning was like, you guys, we're so tired after just taping. I know, but you guys already blew it. I so tired after just taping i know but you guys already blew it i was gonna totally stick with it but you guys

are ben ben did it not me well i had no idea that you had this whole setup okay i was not in part of this meeting with you and ridiculous okay we gotta go they're turning us into we're horrible haggy women it's okay there's no tension well the first the first hour is going to be completely um exhausting i can warn you so if you're listening to this on your auto download y'all um thank you for listening to two hours of this uh we love you and we will see you next time you can find me ronnie at tvgasm whole setup okay i was not in part of this meeting with you and ridiculous okay we gotta go they're God. The next hour. Okay, we got to go. Look what these shows are turning us into. We're horrible, haggy women.

It's okay. There's no tension. Well, the first hour is going to be completely exhausting. I can warn you now. So if you're listening to this on your auto-download, y'all, thank you for listening to two hours of this. We love you, and we will see you next time. You can find me, Ronnie, at TVGasm on Twitter. You can find matt at

life on the m list bannett ben uh i'm sorry b-side blog and you can find us on facebook at facebook.com slash watch what crap ends and on twitter at what crap ends so come talk to us on facebook yo if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me,

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