Watch What Crappens - #69: #69 Party!

Episode Date: April 10, 2013

Special Celebrity Guest Extravaganza! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Lesson 69. My grievances hide the light of the world in me. With the attitude, man, I had attitude before I ever did good Gotta get on your feet now, feet now Shut your mouth, get on your feet now, baby We've got our minds past the beef now, beef now

And just move, just move Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all the stuff we love to talk about on Bravo. My name is Ronnie Karam, I'm from TVGasm.. And as usual, I'm here with Matt Whitfield from Yahoo. Hello, Matt. Hola. And Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com. Hello, Ben. Hello, hello. You guys, before we start, you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com slash watch what crappens. You can find us on iTunes just by searching watchwhatcrappens.

And you can find us on Twitter at whatcrappens. Come to Facebook and talk to us. We have a lot of fun over there. Okay, take it away, boys. First of all, mad props to the people who totally came through for us. The iTunes comments went through the roof this past week. Oh, yeah. And we are still a solid five stars.

I mean, if they had six stars, we should, you should just give us six stars, even though five is the maximum. But we really do appreciate, oh my God, I'm getting like cheesy and sentimental right now. But we really do appreciate the comments. You guys are hilarious. Thank you for interacting with us there and on Facebook. It is a party. Yeah. I mean, just in the past two days alone on our Facebook page, we've had so many posts from our listeners. And also we've been putting up screenshots as we see them. It's a lot of fun. I love how Ben sent an email around today going, I don't want to step on anyone's toes, meaning Matt's toes, by changing out the header graphic on the Facebook page because I'm still obsessed with my Kim Nene quote. Come on on wig.

It's a great quote. The reason why I said anyone is because I wasn't sure if you'd put it up or if it had been Ronnie. I figured it was you, but I didn't want to assume. We went from not posting anything for five days to all posting three things in one day. It's so funny to me

too because our users have caught on and they can tell just based on the way we write things or based on what we post on that facebook page who is posting it i know and you know what the kim profile picture thing was so good but what happened was that i had made this like uh collage of carrie's face from marriage medicine and i was already to put it up like yesterday and i was like oh oh shit, there's this funny profile picture up, or cover picture, and I was like, okay,

I'll let that stay up for a day, and then I couldn't deal anymore. I'm like, I have this collage, I have to put it up, I have to put it up. And then you send an email, and you're going like, yeah, I'm waiting on a response,

but I'm getting impatient, so I'm switching it out, even though I asked you kindly. I gave you guys all of 30 seconds to see if it was okay for me to put it up, and then'm getting impatient, so I'm switching it out, even though I asked you kindly. I gave you guys all 30 seconds to see if it was okay for me to put it up, and then I was like, guess what? I'm putting it up anyway. Well, we all do appreciate it, and I think our users

appreciate it as well. Thanks again, guys. So today, Ronnie, what are we going to talk about? We're going to talk about Real Housewives of Atlanta, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Lost Footage, and Real Housewives of Orange County. Housewives of Beverly Hills Lost Footage, and Real Housewives of Orange County. Lots of housewives. Lots of crazy ladies and married to medicine.

And I think that's it, right? Yeah, I think so. Do we want to see a little goss? Is there any goss for anybody? Someone actually emailed me some Orange County goss. Now that I think about it, I'm going to pull it up. Well, Ronnie, you share whatever you have. I really don't have any gossip this week except more and more of the bullshit that Adrian's peddling to all the websites talking apparently Adrian and Camille have

started a boycott of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills warning that people will be able to say whatever they want about you and you'll have no legal recourse it's like shut up Adrian this makes this makes me so mad at Camille. And you know how Ben and I used to worship at the altar of Camille. But now I am losing so much respect for her that she's teamed up with the tinsel-haired bulldog. Well, I just think it's funny that they are boycotting Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

as if they actually had any sort of power in the world at all. I know, like Julia Roberts was just about to become a housewife. It's like the all. I know, like Julia Roberts was just about to become a housewife. It's like, last time I checked, I think the real housewives of Beverly Hills was boycotting you two. The scary thing is, I feel like Adrian could become more desperate and pathetic than even Jill Zarin. Dare I say.

Oh, for sure. Okay, I found the gossip thing. I'm going to change this person's name because they requested me to do that, if I were to read this on the air. This is someone who apparently has close ties to production of Orange County and so here are these random pieces of gossip that this person has gleaned from their connection the first is that I guess someone bought Heather Dubrow's house

and it's a very wealthy Japanese man who saw the house on the show and then offered way over what Dubrow's house, and it's a very wealthy Japanese man who saw it on saw the house on the show and then offered way over what the Dubrow's wanted. So there's that, in case anyone ever cared about that, which I doubt anyone does. Who wants a house with someone else's initial on the floor tiles? What is he going to pretend that that means? Or who wants

a house that's just like a big, old tacky mess of bad architecture? Who wants a house that's just like a big old tacky mess of bad architecture? Who wants a house that onion rings have never been cooked in? I know, exactly. That is not a house made with love. Who wants a house where cakes are consistently defiled? Who wants a house where dirty diapers have

only been changed by the woman and not the husband? Oh, God. I don't believe that for one second do you did you not see the preview for next week that becomes an issue between the two of them that he won't do it he does not attend to the children whatsoever well you know probably because there are many versions of her and he's terrified of them it's probably understandably it's probably like little cassettes it's probably like when that little tablet wears off in pac-man and all the ghosts turn their normal colors and start coming after you.

Get the hell out of there, too. That's exactly what it's like. Well, actually, I think a Pac-Man maze would be more architecturally interesting than their house. And you know what I also hate? It's so funny that we're talking about this, actually. What's Pac-Man? It's a porno. Oh, Matt, you and your 20-year-old-ness.

Wait, no. You know what I hate about their house? What? Have you ever noticed when they walk to their front door in their foyer, it's just this disgusting, ugly wall. There's no windows looking out. It's just this very austere paneling and wainscoting. I just find it terrible. Well, it's a poor person.

It's poor people who got rich and now think they know everything. And she's got to, like, pre-crack a lobster because her guests are too damn stupid. It's like, bitch, you were a terrible C-list actress in a Jenny McCarthy show for one week. You do not. You learned how to crack a fucking lobster, like, a year after you were married. Shut up. And by the way, I'm just going gonna pat myself on the back for finally bringing the podcast to a place where we're criticizing someone's wainscoting we have sunk to a new low

i've got some vicky criticism on that level too have you seen vicky's new house her okay she's having this artist paint a wall in her home and it's literally hens clucking at each other does she have no self-awareness? Oh, gosh. So here's some other gossip from this email. Alexis is indeed despised by the crew, and she was brought back only for the sake of conflict. No surprise there.

Slade is hated by all. There was a big effort to keep him off the show, and now out of scenes, which is obvious in episode one. Tamara, who I cannot stand, is loved by the crew. She is considered to be fun, funny, and considerate of all. Eddie is gay. Again, no surprise. Oh, and the big conflict of the season was set up in episode one

and shown a little in the previews. The reason Brianna moved into Vicky's house was to further create conflict with Brooks. So I guess the implication here is that the producers wanted Brianna to move in there to... Paycheck for the new mommy. Yeah so that's that's basically uh that's basically it yeah there was a bunch of stuff on fame horges today about all this too about all the fitness and oh how it's all producer rigged and i read it and i was like uh yeah thanks for the link but duh well the other thing is you

guys when we talked about um the bravo up fronts last guys, when we talked about the Bravo upfronts last week, we talked about all the shows that were picked up and the returning shows that were greenlit and all this kind of stuff. But what we didn't talk about was the photos that then came out later that night because Bravo had a big party with all of its stars. And you can clearly go through – anybody can get access to the photos on Wire Image or Getty Images, and you can see these casts are all there hugging each other. And it's called, hey, we're going to be friends because we all want to get paid. So Vicky and Tamra, no matter what happened between them, they are hugging in a group setting. Kim Zolciak was there. Teresa is there in a same group hug with Caroline. So we all know that a lot of this is fake.

Yes, there are some true fights there. But the sad thing to me is that these women don't all want to stab each other in the face when they're in the same room. Yeah. The sad thing is that these women have basically signed over their lives to these shows that ruin every aspect of their marriages and their families and their jobs. That's that's truly the sad thing, you know? Yeah. I just wish that Bravo,

you know, once upon a time, I don't know what, um, you know, real or, uh, cable network did this,

but there was like a battle of the reality stars, but when the hell are they going to do battle of the housewives? You know, like I want to see new orange County and like a tug of war. And then Beverly Hills take on Atlanta in a water slide competition. And then Gia can cry and complain that everyone's cheating. Because they probably were. They were, just like her father and her uncle and everyone else.

I am like a real downer today. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was – I drank coffee like an hour ago and I was hyper and now I'm like I fucking hate life Well, I decided that I was gonna make stew today and I was gonna let it cook during the podcast so I could eat after And now I'm like sweating balls in here. I'm like, I feel like I'm dying in here. That's why I was a little out So anyway, yeah, that's that's some bullshit gossip But the thing that really pissed me off this week is that Adrian is still calling people on websites.

Adrian, go away. Go away. Fine. Call Jill Zarin and both of you. Get on the phone together and call here so I can tell you both to shut up. Shut up, Adrian Maloof. I love that we clearly did not plan anything for our 69th

podcast, and we are starting over right now. I love that we clearly did not plan anything for our 69th podcast. Oh, yeah. Okay, we're starting over right now. Hi, I'm Ronnie. Welcome back to Watch What Crappens. We're just starting. Happy 69th. Yay.

It's our live show. Yeah, it's our live show. And then I love how one of our users named Michael on the Facebook page is It's like start acting like professional podcasters, not like low-class whores. And guess what? A lot of people are – I know. A lot of people are what? Liking it?

Liking his sassy comment. You know what? I will take him up on that, and I will not act like a low-class whore. I will act like a high-class whore. Thank you very much. Well, I will tell you this much, you guys. You may think that we plan nothing for our 69th, but we've actually got a huge show for you today. We've got a

Housewives musical performance, and we've got a few special guests calling in. Yeah. So there. I'm so excited. This is going to be as interesting and exciting and unpredictable as our very own crappy awards. I can already sense it. Yes. And just as polished. Just as polished. I might

even have the envelope ripping here just for a fun sound effect. Yeah, I think it should be that when our special guests call in, they should actually just mail in and then an envelope opens up and they come out and they talk to us. Okay. It may happen.

It's like one of those cards we open up and a song plays. Okay, very good. I'm all down for that dog and pony dog show dance. Oh, my God. Set that. Stupid Gretchen. Oh, is that Gretchen? Oh, God.

You know I love shows. Do you want to start with OC? Let's start there. Come on. I have to start. If we're going to talk about OC, I have to start about the thing that was really bothering me the most

slash entertaining me the most. That they put those poor dog's paws in the paint before the artwork. No, no, no. That was hilarious. I was like, okay, well that dog's gonna die in two days. But more was that Vicky looked like she had just had like

some very rough sex with a gardener in the back of Heather's house. Oh my god, her hair, Ben. Her hair was the children of the corn in the cornfield. It's like she had just spent three straight days in Florida, letting every whatever she had done to her hair, it

has now turned to frizz and craziness. And she came back looking like a low rent Stevie Nicks. It looked like she was on a pontoon boat in Lake Havasu and 4,000 footballs had been smashed into her hair. She was like, I want everyone to see my new face. That way they'll think I'm doing well. And then I'm going to make sure my hair looks extra terrible. Say, no, I'm not doing well at

all. It's a clear sign. I mean, I don't know women, but I think a clear sign of their mental stability is what is going on with their hair that day. That's not sexist at all. You know, I'm going to say something that is sexist, which is that women have this uncanny ability to make their hair do crazy things when they are drunk or secretly sad. Vicky's prime example. She's both. Vicky is both. both vicky's at all times she's at all times she is she has been it's like her head has been in a just a dome of humidity i just feel so bad for vicky now because you know she's gone to all this trouble she got a new horrid face you can't do anything about your hair the doctor can do whatever he wants to your face, but your hair is still going to be like sandpaper.

You can't do anything about that. And then she actually even admitted that she did it just because Slade made fun of her. And then she says, oh, you think I look like Miss Piggy? Well, what do you think now? Crickets. And then he says she looks like Mickey Rourke. Like, that's not better. And then he said she looks like Mickey Rourke.

Like, that's not better. Okay, speaking of that comment, how messed up is Bravo? On their Twitter feed yesterday at Bravo TV, they posted something like, do you actually think Vicky Gunvalson at Vicky Gunvalson looks like at Mickey Rourke? Way in. We happen to love both of them. I'm like, if their own network's social media person is pretty much calling Vicki Gundleson chopped up face Mickey Rourke,

like, wow. That was another thing in the article at that site that I was telling you about earlier. One of the things was that everybody hates Vicki. Like, the whole crew hates Vicki. She's a pain in the ass and no one likes her. So, that makes sense. But yeah, that's not very nice. That's really mean.

And as we said last week, we said she was a combination of Mickey Rourke and Joan Van Ark. So where were we at Joan Van Ark, might I ask? Very good point. Well, what kind of grown man goes on a radio show and demeans a woman based on her looks? I mean, besides us. I know. He really is disgusting. Yeah, he's a disgusting

piece of shit. At least we're trying to be funny. And when Gretchen's saying how, like, oh my god, he's all over Southern California. No. Playlist 92.7, because I used to listen to it, was based out of Oxnard and had, like, you know, you just barely got it in

LA. Where the hell is Oxnard? It's far away. Is that by like Magic Mountain and Visalia? No, it's by Camarillo. The point is it's in Ventura. It's all the way up there. No one listened to it except for me because I played Cougar music, which I happen to love. I was going to say the Real Housewives of Camarillo probably listened to it.

And they're like, oh, Gretchen says, oh, it's the highest rated hour on the radio station. First of all, he only gets an hour, which shows how bad he is. He doesn't even get a typical four hours. Our podcasts are at least an hour and 12 minutes. Yeah, exactly. Well, we talk. He's a radio DJ. Like, he's a music DJ, isn't he?

Doesn't he just play music? Yeah, but he does. But he also does some chatting. I listened to his show once. It was terrible. It was hideous. He also makes fun of Vicki Gundleson, and then you look at that NASA host on the show. My God, she looks like Nina Blackwood smashed up with pink and run over by a tractor trailer

and then spit out of the ass of some, like, little Disney cartoon. She looks like a bowl of poop at dinosaur if you play ever play the game like rock band she looks like one of those characters that's like those people don't really exist they just draw them up for rock band and it's like oh wow this woman really took some design cues from that apparently they do she's she's probably glamorous for oxnard yeah she's like she's like a wee character you make if you're like a butch lesbian i bet the rest of those wee characters look like sheena shana skana because like oxnard azusa it's all the same right i know she sort of looks like susan powder if susan powder decided to grow her hair out and

turn it pink and become and become emaciated and one foot tall and an ugly little rat she's probably just like a long lost member of four of Four Non Blondes, quite frankly. Actually... Quite frankly. I know people will be happy that I say quite frankly. Well, Linda Perry, who, by the way, just got engaged to Sarah Gilbert, formerly of Roseanne fame.

Have you seen the photos of her? She now looks like Johnny Depp from Pirates of the Caribbean. Oh, my God. Don't tell Countess Luanne. I know. How dare I? He's about to get some cobwebby royal vagina rubbed all over him.

Yeah, that Countess is about to get all over Linda Perry. Sidebar! That would be an amazing love triangle. Okay, let's get back to Vicky. I want to talk more about the opening of the episode, which is her trying to redesign this house in Cota da Casa, which I thought she was going to sell, but now she is staying in. Oh no, wait, wait, I'm so sorry.

The phone's ringing. Our first special guest is here. Ooh. Yay, it looks like it's Reza. Oh, my God. Hello. Congratulations on your 69th. Oh, my God, 69 episodes?

That is, like, so sexual. Like, Homeboy's got, like, a penis in his mouth, and the other Homeboy's got a penis in his mouth, too, but it's in a podcast form. That's so Persian. Oh, Reza. I'm so glad you could make it for a 69 thank you thank you so um let's just catch up on your life um real quick are you talking now to mj have you guys started talking again well i talked to her because i needed to ask her where to get some good cases of dracar noir because I ran out.

And other than that, I'm not talking to Homegirl until she fesses up to eating all my sliders. Well, Reza, rumor has it that Ben Mandelker bumped into you in a coffee bean and tea leaf on Sunset recently. Can you, you know, dispel those rumors? Oh, my God. He did not, but I heard that Ben Mandelker's' friend Sita did, and took a photo of me. That's so white. Like, Persians would be like, here, have some pomegranate seeds. But white people are like, I'm going to take a picture of you.

Well, I'd like to personally thank you as someone who struggles with their weight. I just wanted to say thank you for feeling comfortable, even though you're on national TV, to just get fat. I mean, thank you so much for what you're contributing um to to the rest of us well like i'm like really into eating like a dry cookie because persians love a dry cookie and i'm like oh my god look at that white person eating a soft batch like give me a dry crumbly cookie any day i'll have five and get fat and smell a twinks armpit okay i was gonna say because we thought your favorite food group was a white boy armpit oh my god i love that so much like white boy armpit like on my face like if they could put that in a bottle of dracar noir that would be my ideal scent and i would attract all the hot twinks okay well just one last question before we let you go because

we've got a very um busy show packed with very important things but um if you were a housewife from the real housewives or if you could be besties with a housewife from the real housewives of orange county who would it be and why oh my god i would totally be besties with tamra because that bitch has got fierce hair she's like it's like someone took a bunch of saffron rice and made it flat and put it on someone's head. That's like so Persian. Okay, well, thanks, Reza.

Thank you so much for being here. Thank you. We'll be seeing you in season three. Congratulations on 69. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Oh, my God.

We are so blessed to be, you know, surrounded by Bravo stars. I'm sure he's the first of many special guests tonight. Oh my god we are so blessed To be you know Surrounded by bravo stars I'm sure he's the first of many Special guests tonight Guys I didn't even get a chance to ask a question Oh we thought you were in the bathroom I was you guys should have told me that Reza was coming Oh my god

That's Reza calling right now But I'm not taking his call Because he missed his chance Okay back to Real Housewives of Orange County, Vicky's house. Brianne has moved in with the baby, who's actually cute, and I don't really like babies, but Troy is cute. The husband's

there. He only wears RVCA clothes, which drives me insane. I thought it was called Ruka, not RVCA. I don't know. I say Bulgari. Bulgari. Bulgari. Is it Bebe or Bebe? Do you have no appreciation for Old English? Apparently

I don't. Anyway, so what do we think of Vicky? I mean, I thought she was going to leave the house she's been in since the beginning of this show. I thought she was going to leave Cota da Casa, but she's stuck there. Could you imagine this poor little baby Troy? I mean, the is the images he sees growing up. It's gonna be this woman's crazy Mickey, Mickey Rourke face coming at him every

single day. He's gonna be traumatized. Are there enough TJ Maxx and Ross Dress for Less's in Orange County for her to redecorate that entire house with new fleur de lis and rusted rooster accoutrement? Absolutely. Because last time I checked, every single TJ Mac and Marshalls and Rosses had not sold out of their oversized glass bell jars that can be filled with purple and blue pebbles. Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed to have those. Because you know that's going in there.

Ronnie, you do not have crystal glasses filled with colored rocks. I have the bell jars, and when people come over, I'm like, would you like some iced tea? And I put it in a bell jar, just like Meemaw. You know, we have to make a field trip to TJ Maxx and take pictures of everything

that we think would go in their houses. Or in fact, why don't the listeners go to TJ Maxx and take pictures and put them on our Facebook page? They should send them in and they should say whose house it belongs in. We'll make an album. That'll be the best. And if someone has something that actually shows

up in a house or has shown up in one of the homes, you'll win a prize. Yes, you'll win that item. Jokes on you, fuckers! If it's less than $5. Yes. Okay, so what do we think about Brienne moving in? Clearly this is a ploy by Bravo and the producers of the show to start some fighting, some additional fighting between Brienne and her mother.

But what do you guys think on Brienne's take? I mean she hates Vicky's on-again, off-again boyfriend, and she says that if Vicky brings a man into that house she's out of there yeah but it's like despite the fact that brooks might be in there and there might be dust flying around everywhere what's her other option to get like a studio apartment in tustin no she's gonna take her mom's like guest room yeah i mean you know how i felt you know how i feel about it i was yelling at the tv go to the army base you you fat slug! Yeah, why don't they go to Pendleton? It's right there. It is right there. There's a Dunkin' Donuts.

You want to live there, see what that's like? Go take a group shower with people? What other things do they have to do in the army? You know, you don't even have your own bathroom. You have to eat grits out of a box. Enjoy yourself, Brianna. That's what I say. Shut your mouth. Your mom is paying the rent.

You be quiet. I'd like to see her park her white Mercedes outside of the barracks there. Because you remember when she was like a nursing student, Vicky was like, let me buy you a $45,000 white Mercedes. You know what she should do? She should move into Sheena's old bedroom in Azusa. Or it could be like the holiday, you know, where they do like a swap, except instead of like New York and London or Los Angeles and London,

it's Cota da Casa and Azusa. It's like the direct to DVD version of the holiday produced by Kenya Moore. I would watch that in a heartbeat. I would actually love that. More people would buy that than Phaedra's donkey booty workout video.

Could you imagine? That's the whole point of the movie. It's like, oh my god, I'm getting this great place in London. It's like, oh wait, it's in Azusa. The biggest letdown. Yeah, I think that Brianna needs to shut her fat trap. She's getting free rent and i love that she complains like oh well there's so much well first of all vicky is totally an asshole so don't let

that slip by um she's totally a jerk because i love that she starts remodeling right when there's a baby in the house so you know good point but at the same time she's like oh well you know now i have to stay up here just between these two rooms. Yeah, like my whole fucking life, Brianna, okay? Well, you know what? Here's the thing. I tend to think the short-term health hazards of the dust in the air are better Leno chin because apparently she has to spackle on glitter to make it extra prominent. Yeah, and in typical Vicky fashion. Glitter?

What glitter? I don't have any glitter, Ron. What are you talking about glitter? I don't wear glitter. Oh, maybe it's from my lip gloss, which doesn't have glitter. And the baby is glowing. I know. I love that you're giving her a Drew Zarn voice.

Did I? Yeah, you're like, what are you talking about? Oh, no, it's been too long. Nobody has perfected a Vicky voice, I will say. My favorite was when they had a flashback to that winery from like three seasons ago. And it was like, oh, look. They were all skinny. They all had different faces, different husbands.

Different waistlines. They've all transformed in the most unique ways. Yeah. They're semi-abusive husbands. Oh, the memories. By the way, Ronnie, you're right. We've actually never even tried to do a Vicky voice. Do you think we could possibly do it?

Is this like the new candy challenge? It's the new challenge. I normally just use kind of a Sarah Palin voice, but it takes a long time to get used to doing it. But it needs to be a little more rough. Well, the thing is there are two types of Vicky voices. There's her normal voice, which I can't even try, and I'm going to try to do her screaming voice. Here we go. I think it usually sounds something like,

How did you say that? That is pretty good. I mean, it's a little bit of Thomas Kramer. It's a little Thomas Kramer from Real Housewives of Miami Wait that doesn't mean friends Yeah I can't do it No you can't You never give me evil eye

There's also a difference between Nice Vicky having fun On a pontoon boat at Lake Havasu And sad new Vicky Because sad new Vicky is just different Well she Stuck her head in a washing machine And then went to a dinner party That's sad new Vicky, because sad new Vicky is just different. Well, she stuck her head in a washing machine and then went to a dinner party. That's sad new Vicky. Yeah.

She's a Cabbage Patch doll that didn't get adopted, so she got put into a car cruncher. That's new Vicky. She really is a Cabbage Patch doll. Speaking of new, turning new leafs, et cetera, can we talk about Skyzone and it's new spokeswoman Alexis Bellino you guys have no idea but my birthday is in like 5 or 6 weeks or something and I actually have started to investigate having a party

at Skyzone you know I've heard those places are great but what I loved is that someone on our Facebook page sorry I can't give you a name because I can't remember who said it was like listen Jim and Alexis need to calm down Skyzone is a franchise page sorry i can't give you a name uh because i can't remember who said it was like um listen jim and alexis need to calm down sky zone is a franchise it's like yeah it's being like hey we just built a new restaurant we're gonna call it mcdonald's we have this really i didn't know that

i thought they invented it yes it is if you go to the website you can franchise that shit out just like a pink berry or a hot dog on a stick i was gonna say jim does not have like the entrepreneurial wherewithal to even think of having all those like blue boxes that you fall into uh when you that pit of like foam and whatever okay well speaking of jim let's talk about this for a second because a lot of people are talking about how he is not as disgusting and horrible as he used to be is that because he saw how awful he was on tv and he's trying to correct that like so many housewives in the past or did we or or did we just give them too much shit in the past and they're actually not no they're horrible they're so they're trying so hard to look like they're in love and they're happy and he's not mean and not abusive and i mean it's just typical

she has no friends he every time she wants to go see them he says they're abusing her like he's just totally disgusting he's a total piece of shit and I love that she can't even jump on a trampoline stupid I know she's so stupid she doesn't she can't even master the simplest thing of all but I also loved you did you notice that the producers

included a shot of Jim jumping off a trampoline and trying to dunk a basketball and missing, even though he was like right on top of the hoop. He couldn't put the ball in the hoop. Oh, God. I love that they included that whole, well, honey, you're the boss at home, but I'm the boss here. Since when is she the boss at home? What are you talking about?

Well, ever since she decided to give up her dress line and her job at Fox, she's been able to dedicate herself to her family and fixing all of their problems. Yeah, it's very contrived. They're trying to make it seem like he was hurting inside. No, no, no. He's an asshole. They're trying to make it seem like they're super happy. But I do love that now Alexis

is so proud to be the spokeswoman for Sky Zone. Which one? I'm looking at the Skyzone locations in Southern California and are they, like, is that Covina or Chula Vista? Which one are they in? There's an Anaheim.

Covina, I think. Covina's out by Azusa. No, this is not an Orange County. It's gotta be Anaheim. Torrance? There's a Torrance. There's a Riverside. Not Riverside. Not Riverside. Maybe Torrance. But I think it's probably deeper into our chance.

Well, the good news is they just announced a new one in Glendale and one in Van Nuys. So we are going. Hey, yes. I love how they opened all these sky zones in the classiest neighborhoods. We are going to all of them. Instead of doing a bar crawl, we're going to do a sky zone. Trampoline crawl. So maybe we're going to start doing a bar crawl. We're going to do a sky zone.

Trampoline crawl. I, again, I just, I love that Alexis thinks that she has some huge platform now. She's like, you know, I'll be talking to Fox 5. I'll be talking to CBS. I'll be talking to CNN. As if this is going to be an ongoing daily, weekly thing. As if the media is always going to be coming in, questions getting her insight getting her opinions on things it's like woman you are going to speak to the press for one day for five minutes and that's it yeah what's going on at the trampoline park get someone on that get a copper border on it we hear the trampoline park burned down

but then the family got out safely. Oh, thank God. Thank God. Oh, that woman is so stupid. And I just love that they're keeping her bullying, their bullying storyline going on. That's really fun. She's incredibly stupid. And I cannot wait until she's back with the girls getting bullied. Yay.

Yeah, you like it when she's bullied. Do you like it when she gets to go to sexy Lombada classes with her husband, Jim? Did that turn anybody on? You know what really turned me on was when Jim was like, fast, slow, fast, fast, slow, regarding his sex life with you-know-who. Babes Bellino. I don't want to think of them having sex. They make me sick.

It's only episode two, and I want to barf. So what do we think about Vicky and Tamara's truce? It's not a truce. Or whatever it was. Resolution. Wine cellar. It was really just Heather forcing two drunk women into a wine cellar and locking the door.

It was really a steel cage match in the making that never really came to fruition and I really wanted somebody to be Macho Man Randy Savage and the other to be Jake the Snake Roberts. I kind of expected Tamara to take one of those wine bottles, break it over the edge of something, and aim the shards at Vicky.

Me too, because that woman wants to pretend that she's classy, but you know she wanted to get some glass and cut that woman. I just love Tamara's whole innocent act, like, what did I do? I was just trying to look out for my friend um no no you're a horrible horrible vile goblin lives under a bridge and you jump out and scare children her face looked normal until she saw you and someone hit her on the back now she's stuck

like that tamra tamra's horrible i mean i don't care it right now it just all seems so contrived and gretchen Gretchen's obvious fear of them becoming friends again is hilarious. I love it. Here's an idea. Why don't they just all three become friends? Then they don't have to be scared. Oh, because Vicky won't be able to handle

Gretchen for two seconds. Exactly. Like, who eats lobster? Who does that? How unclassy are these women? They don't know how to eat shellfish. I mean, didn't Vicky have a party last season

and they didn't know how to eat the other thing? Well, that was crawfish. But to be fair, that's a little bit more... I don't know how to eat a crawfish. Let's get real. Well, go to Hot and Juicy Crawfish on Santa Monica and La Brea because I'll tell you one thing, that shit's good. i don't want to snap the heads off anything and then suck it down oh i'm telling you you're missing out it's fun okay let's go right after this i'm i'm down you're making stew ronnie you can't oh yeah okay well anyway so yeah that show is kind of on my

nerves because there's nothing really to fight about. Although I loved Eddie because he's the typical boyfriend who only hears one side of the story. So Tamara's like, well, she might want me back in her life. And he's like, she is a lying, evil, vindictive terrorist. Which is exactly the way a gay man would say it. She eats babies. He's like, she's fabulous. She is an evil woman and nothing but a bitch.

I love her. She is fierce, and I mean it in a bad way. But I love that he's like the typical husband who's like, she's a terrorist. Don't ever. Yeah. Sorry, you picked the wrong side on that one. She's back. What are they going to do?

She'll be back. Didn't you love how Tamara was like, I own 51%, so I'm the boss. I'm surprised that's not her opening little tagline. Didn't Gretchen have that last year? I'm the boss. Yeah.

What is Tamara's? It's probably something like, I own 51% of my business and 100% of my life. That's probably what it would be. Right, exactly. Wait, Ronnie, think of a few more. I own 51% of the business and what?

No, you can't put me on the spot like that. I'm not your monkey mother. Oh, I thought you were going to be funny, but now you're just being horrible. Emphasis on the whore. That would be my housewives thing. Ben, do another one. He's able for it. Ben, do another one. Okay, how about this?

I own 51% of my fitness studio, but... I own 51% of my fitness studio. I think we have to have a different setup. I think there's only one... For all these things, there's only one payoff for the setups. You have to come up with a different one, which is something like... I may not own all of, I may not own the biggest fitness studio in Orange County,

but it certainly is the hottest. I'll be, I'll do Alexis. You know, I may be beautiful. I may be beautiful, but I'm not more beautiful than Jesus. We know where those always end up. Tamara may be, Tamara may be kind of pretty, but she's not as pretty as Jesus. We know where those always end up. Tamara may be kind of pretty, but she's not as pretty as Jesus.

Tamara may own 51% of her club, but Jesus owns 49% of the world. The only one who's allowed to bully me is Jesus. Katie Couric's got nothing on Jesus. Oh my god. Katie Couric's got nothing on Jesus. Oh my god.

Katie Couric may have a funny name, but Jesus owns 49% of Tamra's. I may use my Amex card for Katie Couric books, but I spare no expense when it comes to Jesus. I may like going trampoline, but Jesus invented it.

Poor, poor thing. I don't even know where to go from there. I'm trying to think of things in Alexis' life. You know, Alexis' cute chair is not only fashionable, it's like Jesus. And Katie Couric. Super cute. I love when she started going off, you think my husband's lazy? Oh, we have had businesses, okay?

We had a dry cleaning business. We had a bowling alley. We had a park. One time we owned a car dealership. Another time we sold playing cards. One time we had a rice field. We made corks for wine.

We once went on to business with a Nigerian prince, and let me tell you something. We haven't gotten our investment back, but when he gets in this country, we are going to be owning a lot of households. That is how they lost all of their money. Who's going to be laughing then? Katie Couric is going to want to interview me, and I'm going to be dancing on a trampoline. Do you know that, by the way, when she and Jim went to go do that dancing class, that was such a desperate attempt on her part to get cast on the next season of Dancing with the Stars? I'm going to dance the Lombada.

I'm going to dance the Lombada. The only one who can dance the Lombada better than Jim is Jesus. It doesn't even make sense. Yeah, because Lambs used to follow Jesus everywhere he went. I've seen the pictures in church. It's a dance that's named after lambs with great bodies. It's a lamb bop. So what do you want to talk about in Orange County now?

My hatred for Heather and the fact that she is just a shitster who likes clam bakes. Listen, listen. I hate to be the downer once again, but we've been talking about Orange County for, I think, about 40 minutes, and we have three other shows to go through. Orange County's so stupid. How did we even talk about this show for that long? Wait a second.

We have a phone call. There's a phone call coming in, guys. Oh my gosh, who is it? Who is it? Oh my goodness! It's Kim Richards! Hi, Kim! Hello? Kim Richards! Hey! Hello? Can you hear me? Can you hear us? Hi! Can you hear me?

Hi! Kim, are you at the Burbank Airport? Hold on, I'm gonna dust this phone off, because I don't know if you can hear me on it. I'm dusting the phone. Can you hear it? We can hear you, Kim. Hi, it's Kim! Kim, we want to say, first of all, we got your gift care package of chicken salad and thought it was very gracious of you. Well, you know, Kyle would have sent that made with mayonnaise, but I use Miracle Whip because we're real different.

She likes sunshine and I like the moon. She likes sidewalks and I like walking in the street. We're totally just different types of people. She likes spaceships and I like kites because you can hold a string and I'll fly in a spaceship. I mean, where do you poop up there? No one's been able to tell me that. Kim, can you talk a little bit about your relationship with your older sister, Kathy? Because it seems like you are actually closer to Kathy and less, you know, involved with Kyle. I mean, it seems a little strange to us.

Oh, well, no matter what happens, we're family. I mean, Kathy, I've known for a long time. I mean, I've known Kathy, gosh, I think I met Kathy before I met Kyle. I met her, gosh, I was really young. I don't even remember. You you know you don't remember things before you're 10 years old your memories don't start until after you're 10 but i know that when i was 10 i knew kathy i don't even remember meeting kyle so you know it's just we go to dinner together we'll go to peter piper sometimes we'll get our nails done one time she wanted to go um she wanted to go to the park, and so we went and we parked. And, you know, she's a real good person.

Her daughter's a whore, but she's great. Can you set the rumors aside once and for all? Were you sober in Paris? Well, they use a different language there. So, you know, sometimes they call it... And that's what i was so if you want to know what that is and you need to you need to learn another language because this is a country where there's a lot of different kinds of people here it's not just black and white anymore now it's brown and now russians you know you gotta know all kinds of languages or you're just going to be in the dark.

You're not going to work as an actor. No, not at all. So I guess, Kim, last question. Where do things stand between you and Kyle now? Can you hear me? Yeah, we can hear you. So what?

Where do things stand between you and Kyle, your sister? Well, I'll tell you one thing I don't do in front of Kyle anymore is stand. And I'm glad you brought that up because every time I stand, she's taking pillows out from under me and giving them to people. And then suddenly everyone's talking about pooping on pillows. And I'd like to say I don't appreciate that. Kim, I do have one final question. I'm sorry to keep you. I know you're probably

about to board an airplane um i'm learning lines i'm gonna be doing a new film with um eminem he's uh he's a rapper you might have also seen him in commercials he's the horny green one um well kim i i wanted to ask you because um we saw during the uh lost footage special there was a scene where your friend taylor started to attack your other friend adrian very viciously and there was a strange uh shot of you in the background um and you looked kind of cross-eyed and i wanted you to discuss that scene well you know it's funny because i was trying to record it onto my tv and when i got home it wasn't even there and i just kept trying to find lost and lost and lost and it came on and it turns out that this whole thing began with a plane crash which must have happened before i was

even 10 years old because i don't remember it i watched about seven hours of it, but I'm not even in it yet. Kathy was there, but me and Kyle aren't even in it yet. We'll have to talk about it on the next time, Union Times. All right. Well, Kim, thank you so much for calling on our 69th episode. Thank you. I love you, Oprah. I can't wait to see you in your new film. I'm sure you're going to be so good.

Call me if you need any tips turtle power I love turtles alright bye Kim bye what a treat what a joy right Matt she was really sweet she is still drunk

she had a lot to say she was great so where are we going now? Real Housewives? Let's do it. Of Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills. Let's move up the freeway. Let's go up the 405 to Beverly Hills.

This reminded me of why I love this show. Even when it gets terrible and all about Adrienne's stupid fucking eating her own children or whatever it was for a whole season. I really used to love when Kyle and Lisa would just be bitches together. That scene in the car where they were trash-talking Adrian and Brandy was so funny. Yeah, that was great. Was it funnier than when they showed Adrian throwing a football and smashing her child in the face?

And then they cut to Brandy laughing her ass off on the couch. her child in the face and then they and then they cut to brandy laughing her ass off on the couch well bravo is very sneaky because that was one of the lawsuits that adrian was threatening to file against paul was that he was abusing their children and he was claiming that it happened during sports yeah guess what those children don't have bruises on them because paul was beating him it's because adrian was throwing toys at their head. Yeah, so it was kind of awesome that Bravo did that. It was like yet another fuck you to Adrian, which I loved. And meanwhile, the kid looked like he was like nine years old.

Yeah, he was a little. Let's be honest. He was crying. He was a little bitch. Especially because you know that Adrian's not throwing that ball so hard. It was a Nerf ball. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.. Oh my god. Oh my god.

I hit my son. Is he even her son? Oh, there. I said it. She's like, I can do that. I can cry. I can do that. If he was biological, she probably wouldn't have thrown a toy at it because it's from a stranger's vagina. She's probably like, I might as well just hit it with some toys. The reason why the kid's face

is blurred out is not to protect his identity. It's probably because she doesn't want people seeing genetic remnants of her old face. Yeah, she doesn't want people to be like, hey, isn't that Adrian's nanny? I mean, isn't that Adrian's cleaning lady? Yeah. I also like that there was a whole argument about Bernie's dried brownies. Oh, my God. And, you know, that was another thing.

Kyle totally did get the bitch out of it this season because everything they showed of her last night was hilarious. Like, when they were fighting at the reunion about, oh, did Lisa criticize Bernie's brownies or whatever, Adrienne's like, are we serious? Were adult women talking about brownies in her imitation of Lisa? Oh, darling, I would never say anything about Bernie's brownies in my life. I would never.

We should have asked Reza to weigh in on those dry cookies. He would have loved them. I would love to see Bernie on chops. Oh my god. He would just be vile when he got chopped in the first round.

Yeah, he'd be like writing, tweeting, Alex Guarnaschelli molest little children. That's the truth of it. And I found out, which is why I was chopped. Actually, I do believe that about Alex Guarnaschelli because I hate her. I love Alex Guarnaschelli. She's so like – Yeah, me too.

I love her too. Gross. I want to do a whole mashup of her judge looks from Chopped because she looks like she just hates them and wants them to die. Oh, my gosh. I would like – yeah, somebody should gif that because she just looks constantly constipated well of course if you were if every day you went to work someone was feeding you something that's like chipotle and bubble gum you'd be like i hate this chipotle bubble gum i think that we should franchise that along with a sky zone well i put a strawberry on it put a strawberry on it it's a

classic bernie dish i got a new cable plan that includes the cooking channel and she has a cooking show on that. And it is hilarious watching her being all chipper and nice. She's like, hi, guys. Today we're going to make some cornbread because who doesn't think of their family when they eat cornbread in a skillet? Let's go buy the perfect skillet together. It's like, bitch, I know you are a vile child-eating dyke. Could you just be like you are on Chopped? Because that I would watch. Oh my god. Is that the cooking

loft? Alright, this is how you stir it. Did you stir it properly? You probably didn't, you fucking idiot. That's the cooking show I want to see from her. Just to clarify, Ben and Ronnie have been the only two to curse so far this hour and a half. Not me. We have to

pick up work, because we have to pick up your cursing whatever i my brain just died let it go ben let it go okay i have a few more things i want to talk about can we talk about the scene that i just asked kim about on the phone where um taylor loses her goddamn mind and starts screaming at adrian and paul in and then kim is standing in the background looking like oh my god this bitch be crazy not me oh my god that was a classic Taylor meltdown that's why we need to have her back I wish I could remember what was the phrase that she said where she was

she's like like I don't know what it was something like why can't they be there for me it was a classic pity party Taylor moment she loves to always go back to the well my life is shit because my husband killed himself. And it's like.

Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat or be eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List. Bishop Gray's all coveted academic top 10 curated by the headmaster himself. small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that.

Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful.

Nobody cares. You don't know what I've been going through, okay? Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. ever abused i'm sorry to like start another riot but i don't think adrian adrian doesn't that's the thing i mean you know adrian was questioning her last year about like that black eye and all the stuff and i just feel like you know the more we talk about the more i'm not sure what the truth is well i also like how adrian's excuse for not calling taylor was like well at a certain point there's just nothing you could do like what do i do it's like bitch why don't you just call her although well what she what she was saying was that she was friends with taylor before this and taylor was you know always dropping hints about this she was always complaining about russell and it's like at a certain point you've got to stop being a victim and fucking leave but she wouldn't leave because there was money there and kim got in trouble uh last year for saying the same thing that she could have gotten or this year this season for saying the same thing like she could

have left that marriage which is kind of insensitive if it is really somebody getting abused but i think that taylor was just getting story time oh that's so horrible to say gross it's true i my question is this how did uh how did taylor wind up with pretty much the most normal gay best friend out of all the gays? He was horrible yesterday. No, no, no. Listen. He was doing his thing. But all the other gays and all the other housewives are these crazy, flamboyant, awful, awful gays.

This guy was being a little bitchy. But compared to all the other gays. If they didn was being like a little bitchy but compared to all the other gays i mean if they didn't edit him out i think he would be because exactly last night he was saying well you know adrian i mean after all that stuff happened you know some of the girls called but adrian didn't even call me she didn't even call me and neither did paul paul didn't call me either it's like um your husband didn't die. Why are they calling you, Dwight? Shut up, Dwight. Well, no, but given that every gay on these Housewives shows always just sort of will say yes to their hag no matter what. So that's a given.

So he's doing what all the other gays do. But when you look at him, I don't look at him and cringe and feel embarrassed for gay people. Every gay person on reality tv is a horrible horrible disgusting vile human being i don't care i don't care if it's survivor i don't care if it's big brother i don't care if it's the housewives yeah i don't care they're all disgusting horrible people that are putting that are putting us in the dark ages and maybe they're not right now but they will be like if they seem normal and nice they they will become horrible. Because I was agreed about Dwight until yesterday. Then I was like, oh, that's Dwight.

But at least he's not, like, walking around in ridiculous Louboutins and, like, a boa wrapped around his neck. Well, he is wearing pink pants and a plaid shirt unbuttoned down to his belly button. Oh, that's just, like, southern waspy. No, it's called. Like a DC look. No, it's. I'm from DC. Watch your dirty mouth. I i'm telling you like i saw

i mean the guy that he's gross i think that they just have cut out so much of taylor that we haven't seen her gay as much yeah um now didn't yolanda do something very funny this episode what was it that she did she did 500 amazing things highlighted by the fact that she got up in kim or in kyle's face and was like telling Kyle all this shit and then Kyle was trying to fight back and then skirting the issue and then Kyle started to call out Yolanda and Yolanda was like you want to discuss it let's discuss

it right now and then Kyle folded like a house of cards so I have to relay something that comes from our friend Lisa Timmons Lisa relayed this observation to me and she's not here obviously to share it so i'm gonna share it on her behalf and lisa was like you know every time i see the uh yolanda's opening where yolanda says i like to have fun but i don't play games it's always

it's always like there's a part of you that sort of thinks she's gonna say i like to have fun, but I don't like to have fun. That was Lisa who observed that. I'm not stealing it, but it was such a fun... We need to bring Lisa on. It's been a while. Oh, yeah. Maybe next week. I'll ask her. I'm sure she would love to come back. The other thing, though, that Yolanda did do, she... And this is gonna... You know, Ben, you're typically

the Debbie Downer, but she did go visit her friend with AL and was making a scrapbook with her or for her and i don't know it made me love yolanda even more i mean she i don't know she is real i like her i think oh my god can you imagine her and that friend now oh geez they're probably both in that bed like you go get me some cheerios no you go get me some no you go get me some. No, you. And you know, Yolanda's like, listen, the only way you're going to get ahead in this life is if you get up off of your couch. I'm sorry if you have airless, but just get on your feet and walk. Go for a jog.

Go for a jog and eat a roasted chicken. Listen, that's what you do. There is nothing more disgusting than a sick woman in my bed. You guys are horrible and you are both going to hell. I will say this. Wait, to get back from being an asshole for a second. I do feel like Yolanda was a little screwed because this was the first time I think we saw her crying.

And it was a really human side of Yolanda. And I would have liked to have seen that during the regular season. As opposed to her robotic side? As opposed to her walking around being like, It's very important for a young girl to have her own horse and then to grow her own lemons. Speaking of assholes like the two of you, let's talk about Marissa

and the way she treats her husband. Oh god. She is disgusting. I think last night was definitely a response to all the people on Twitter saying, it's so disrespectful that Marissa wasn't even invited to the reunion? Why is she already fired? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

That is why. She's horrible. She's boring. I mean, she's one of those people that, you know, when people say, well, man, if they really made this about real housewives, it would be more interesting. No, it wouldn't. It would be extra boring. I wish there was more of her mom because I loved her mom. Well, we'll see where she gets it.

She is her mom. She's horrible. I wanted more of her husband changing and trying on all of his clothes in that closet, but then he turned his back and went to the bathroom to change his shirt. Was it me, and I'm not trying to burn any bridges in Hollywood here, but was it sort of hard to imagine him being a producer,

seeing the way he seemed so passive in that entire situation? A little bit, but I was more appalled. Has he ever done anything that you've heard of i mean she lives like she looks like she lives in the val i mean she doesn't she doesn't he's not doing very well that's what i'm trying no and you know i'm sorry but they had plastic hangers and i'm sorry rich people only have nice hangers and maseratis for their kids. Yeah. And Porsche Cayennes. And Porsche Panameras. Excuse me.

Yeah. Exactly. By the way, side note. Did anyone else think that Kim's daughters look lovely? They look great. They are lovely. They seem to be lovely girls. They're lovely girls who like to dine at the Grove.

And we didn't even talk about my favorite part of the episode, which is when Kim fell down the staircase. It's like the moment we've been waiting for for three years. Kim falling down the staircase. I meant to do that. In that horrible Italian restaurant in the Grove. Yeah. So that's what it looks like inside, because I would never go inside.

Which restaurant were they in? It's the one when you come out of the parking garage and it's on the left-hand side. I went there for a birthday party once. Oh, it's on the right side, yeah. The steakhouse or the Italian place? The Italian place. It's on the right-hand side if you're walking out of the garage.

It's on the left-hand side if you're walking to the garage. Oh, okay, yeah. There, it's been settled. Anyway, the food is crap, but not as crappy as Kathy Hilton's dress line. Come on, people. Oh, my God. How ugly is that show?

You know, I love that Kathy Hilton refuses to be on camera unless she's getting paid. And so she's never been on until this season. And then she's on because she wants to promote her fugly-ass dress line. Come on, shut up, Kathy Hilton. Don't you have enough money to pay to get some PR done? And then Paris in the bathroom trying to make Kim's alcoholism all about her. I've missed you. You've been gone for so long, Auntie Kim.

You look great. I've missed you. Shut up, Kim. I mean, shut up, Paris. Or both. Fucking Paris doing coke in the bathroom stall and coming out and being like, I'm glad you're back, Auntie. Nikki had the right idea, which was just to avoid the entire mess entirely. Yeah, Nikki's actually got a real job.

She's, like, stopping by Wells Fargo to deposit a check that she, like, earned. Maybe. Was there anything else on that lost footage special that was worthwhile? I laughed. I almost cried. It was beautiful. It was actually very good. It reminded me of why I love me some housewives.

And then it was back to vile ass medicine women. Dr. Quinn, medicine women. Oh, Lord. Dr. Quinn, medicine women. By the way, somebody should definitely make us a photo for our Facebook page. That is the outfit and hat and ensemble worn by Jane Seymour and Dr. Quinn, medicine woman with Mariah's face on it. Get to it, Photoshop kids. So I feel like should we move on to Atlanta now? Yeah, I think we're done with Beverly Hills.

Are you guys? I'm done. I can't remember anything else. Yeah, I don't remember anything else. I'm done. I'm glad the season is O-V-E-R. Me too. Do we have anyone calling?

I think I hear Leah Black on the line. I think I put her on hold a minute ago. Oh, my God. Okay. Hi, Leah. Hi. How fun is this? Leah, it's so good to talk to you.

We've missed you. 69 episodes. Oh, how fun is that? So fun. Ben, say hi to Leah. Hey, Leah. How's it going? Oh, how fun is that? So fun. Ben, say hi to Leah. Hey, Leah. How's it going? Oh, wow. So, Leah, tell us,

do you have anything going on besides your purse line now in your real life? Well, I just bought three new houses and then I decided I hated them all, so I went out and calmed down. Leah, can you talk a little bit about season three? You guys actually got greenlit after a low-rated season two, and you're back. What's going on with the filming right now?

Well, they had to do another season because otherwise I had to invoice them. They owe me. How fun is that? They can't just tear it down. They got to keep doing a season. Uh-oh, we've got another call coming in, and I think we should take it. Can you tell us? I'm going to three-way it.

It looks like it's Thomas Kramer. Where's Thomas Kramer? Sit down, shut up, and listen to me speak. Congratulations on your 69th episode. Hi, Thomas. You're on the line with us and with Leah. Oh, hello. I've known Leah for many years.

Hi! Sorry, there's a delay. That's okay. So how did you guys meet? Well, I was having a sex party and Circus O'Lear was there and three polar bears and I saw this beautiful woman

with a crocodile on her wall and I said, I want to be friends with you. So sit down, shut up, and be my friend! Thomas, I have to interrupt you. I'm sorry. I just, I have somebody else on the line that I need to patch in real quick. It's Mama Elsa. She would like to weigh in and say hi to her friend

Leah Black. Hello? Leah? Hi! Hello, Leah. Oh, Mama Elsa. Oh, Leah. I dreamed about you in my dream. Oh, Mama Elsa. Oh, Leia, I dreamt about you in my dream. Oh, Mama Elsa! You came to my home and you fell down and turned into a bird.

Leia? Oh, you didn't want that. Why me the bird? Did you tear it down? You set me free. I drank the bird then. And after I drank the bird then, and after I drank the bird I became very drunk. Oh no! If you made a mess I'm gonna send Frida over to clean it up! And then you can just invoice me later!

Uh, please send Marisol a horse-bun. Oh, I don't know if I can do that. She's got some real problems. Because she's stupid. Thomas. How big is that? Thomas, are you still there? Yes, I am here. Oh, no, this disgusting man.

Sit down, shut up, and listen to me, asshole. Oh, really? This is my house. This is the 69th episode, so you be quiet right now. I get my housekeeper. Come here. Oh, I hope there's some bimbo. This was first.

We have another phone call coming in. I think, is it Karen Sierra's mother? It is. It is. I hate the 69th episode. I hate it so much. It is terrible. It's because Obama is an animal.

You guys are racist and rude. This is our 69th episode. We should be, you know, celebrated for sticking with it this long. I hate celebrations unless they involve low-calorie vanilla ice cream. I think I've died. Vanilla ice cream. Listen up, you two old ladies. We are your three biggest fans, and we are your biggest champions,

and we are keeping Miami on air just because of our fan base and our love. So don't be disrespecting us. Wait, we have yet another phone call. It's a third old lady. It's Mama Joyce. Hello? Mama Joyce, welcome to our 69th episode. Oh, a big black dick just hit me through the phone.

That is wrong, what the crap is wrong. Mama Joyce, can you talk a little bit about the potential move into Candy's double-wide mansion? Is that going to happen? Are you going to be hanging out with your granddaughter more? I went over to Candy's mansion. I got up on the stage in that bedroom, and I sang a song. And then a man came out with a big black dick, and he hit me in the face with it. And I moved out.

That was wrong, Candy. But don't you want to spend some more time with Riley? Riley ended up keeping that man in her room, and it was wrong. Wait, wait, wait. Candy, Candy, what do you have to say? I think Riley wants to talk to Grandma.

I think, Mama, you gotta be hanging out with Riley some more. Why are you not talking to Riley? Is he got some. I think, Mama, you gotta be hanging out with Riley some more. Why you not talking to Riley? Is he gonna kick the balls up your vagina, Mama? No, that child ain't right, Candy. I tried talking to her. She kept looking right through me like I was made out of glass. See, the thing is that with Riley,

she needs a good role model like my mama. But see, my mama, she's been throwing shade at Riley. And see, I don't know if I feel like my mama is being nice to Riley. So see, the way I see it is... Mama Joyce, Mama Joyce, I have a very important question. Will you be tuning in to the Tuesday night premiere of Candy's spin-off, The Candy Factory? Candy, I tried watching that video you sent me, Candy. There was all these girls on the stage singing, Candy.

And a man came out with a big black dick and hit him in the face. Candy, that is wrong. That is wrong, Candy. man with a big black dick and hit him in the face see mama i'm gonna go on that show with riley and then we're gonna be all like oh i sit right up i like the love boat now the boat with love Now, I have a question for Candy. Candy, I was watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion, and you made a very strange sound, and I'd like to play it back for you, and I'd like you to comment on the strange sound. Are you ready to hear the strange sound you made, Candy? Hey, hey, hey, I'm ready, play. If I say say something about you then it's like oh she just

you know what i mean in case you're wondering what that sound like i'll play it again if i say something about you then it's like oh she just uh you know what i mean oh my god we've lost our calls a drop A drop. All five callers just simultaneously dropped. Well, thankfully, we have an actual live guest here before we move into the Real Housewives of Atlanta. You guys know her as Kim, and we know her as Kim as well, because it's Kim Zolciak. Kim, we couldn't afford a band, so Kim is going to be singing her hotly contested song today for us. The Ring Don't Mean a Thing, and she's going to sing a cappella.

So take it away, Kim. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The ring didn't mean a thing, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The ring didn't mean a thing, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The ring didn't mean a thing. Wow. Wow. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The ring didn't mean a thing to you.

I see you're out there still doing your thing. So I'll keep the ring. Set you free. Big bank account. You've got that. A black gun. You've got that. Next time I catch you cheating you cheating i'm gonna hit you in your pockets diamonds you bought me new furniture you bought me and i'm upgrading my escalade the next time you act naughty you bought me a ring to shut me up just so you could

keep sleeping around and cutting up wow wow that Wow, Cam. That was just brilliant. All right, leave that one. Are we sure that she's not special needs? I have a special need to hear that song on repeat for the rest of my life. Well, the viewers will hear it again and again. You guys, I cannot wait for her to appear on Reunion Part 2. And the funniest thing, I know I talked about this earlier, posting it to the Facebook cover page. The funniest thing ever was when Andy was asking about it and Nini just said, come on, wig.

Come on, wig. I mean, I think that's up there with close your legs to married men's. You know what? You can rely on Nini once a season to deliver an amazing phrase. Close your legs to married men. Come on, wig. I'm rich, bitch. It's all great. She always brings it except on this reunion part one. I felt like Nini kind of sat back and she really just let Kenya and Phaedra go at it. And Nini kind of was just laughing at how ridiculous both of them were, and she wasn't really getting involved in all the drama. Yeah, she didn't even need to, you know why? Because Kenya and Phaedra were entertaining enough. I mean, they pretty much carried the entire hour.

Although I think Phaedra had the best line when she was like, single white female, black delusional Kenya. Well, she had a million great lines. I mean, what was the thing she said about, like, show me the paper, like the Whitney Houston quote? I don't know. Show me the receipts.

Show me the receipts. I mean, she studied up before she came out there because she knew Kenya would be firing. But I think that Phaedra held her own. I was very proud of her, even though, you know, I hate her. When Portia did her first bit of reading in probably about 15 years and studied who is the first black Miss USA and actually schooled Kenya and said, why did you never mention this woman who is actually – should be much more influential to you? And then Andy Cohen just turns to Kenya and is like, do you have anything to respond to that? And Kenya just goes, no. Did you guys not think it was hilarious? I mean, first of all, the fan was annoying the shit out of me, but my other favorite part of the entire episode was near the end where Candy was like, bitch, if you pop that one more time,

you need to move it to your other hand. Because Candy will slap her. She's like, Riley, get in here. Can you move that fan to the other side? See? The way I see it is there's a fan in my face, and I want Riley to get rid of the fan. Oh, man, She almost killed her.

Yeah, that fan was ridiculous. Kenya's ridiculous. But she was fun to watch because she is just crazy. You guys, we talked about Beverly Hills a minute ago and how they were throwing Adrian under the bus. But on Atlanta, did you guys catch how they totally dissed Sharae? Oh, yeah. Poor Sharae. I mean, Andy Cohen must hate her or something because they like

they're just mean yeah you know he's burning some real bridges i mean that's that's the owner and founder of she by charre you don't you just you don't step to her like um by the way i was doing some work for yahoo movies hey everybody that's where i work and um so she by sheree whitfield has a cameo as herself in scary movie five opening in theaters nationwide this friday i am oh do people oh yes do people go look at a house and fall in a big hole in the ground um yeah it's right where the ice skating rink was going to be built i think i think i think that a helicopter arrives but instead of a poet getting off of it it's a zombie anyway there's a there's a 10 foot tall portrait of charrette that comes to life and terrorizes people and then real then everyone

realizes that it's just regular charrette oh my god yeah um well the funny thing is she was cast in that movie when she was still a real housewife of atlanta and now she's not one so i just i kind of need to go see how this all plays out she's cameoing as herself as is mike tyson so it's bound to be you know nominated for a razzie i kind of think that sounds like great stunt casting i'm not even being sarcastic i love that they put charade in their stupid movie i feel so bad for charade because she's doing that terrible show on the own channel that fixture let me fix your life and then they showed her someone posted on our facebook so thank you very much for this it was a clip of her on the news

did you guys see this it was like the local news of her going to eat someone's food and like learning how to cook oh it's just so sad charrette get a job learn a trade learn electrical engineering or refrigerator repair. The commercials say that those are very lucrative industries. I'm sure there's got to be a job opening at Candy's Boutique. What's it called again? Like Snaps? Tags. Tags.

Tags. Maybe she'll make an appearance. I mean, I don't know. I mean, the second season of Don't Be Tardy is coming up and she's still friends with Kim, so she could reappear.ear yeah i think so well um what else what else happened on this damn thing it was mostly just phadra and crazy pants they were fighting about their amazon yeah the amazon rankings and rankings and it's like i mean it was beyond stupid my my overall impression of the reunion was that I was highly entertained by all of it, but there was very little that I thought was distinctly hilarious.

I was like, oh, I have to talk about this moment. It was just sort of like a general flow of griping. The hour did fly by quickly, though. Yeah, I mean, I can't even remember what they talked about except general topics you know i know that candy said that nini was uh giving her shade throwing her shade which is what they every reunion they talk about this i don't know why these two people can't resolve it they one of the viewer one of the viewer oh go ahead no no go ahead i was just saying one you know andy was reading some of the viewers questions and somebody was asking you know cynthia you seem to be like a badass

businesswoman this season and i'm just there laughing to myself i was like does anybody remember how fucked up that miss renaissance shit was come on um it was it was about as as uh well assembled as her dress with her boobs hanging out i also love you know what was really funny to me was when andy said well business is booming at the bailey agency i was like and everybody's rolling their eyes cut to anybody rolling their You know, what was really funny to me was when Andy said, well, business is booming at the Bailey agency. And everybody is rolling their eyes. Cut to anybody rolling their eyes. I think they're talking about the repo business, which is coming in and taking away their chairs.

She still can't fix the goddamn shutters on the front of her house that have been busted for the past three seasons. Sorry, that really bothers me. Anyway, there was another nasty – Kenya is totes crazy, but two other things with her. Number one, she did threaten Phaedra, a pregnant woman, by saying, you want to go there? I'm going to bust your teeth all over the floor. Pregnant or not. Pregnant or not, she's going to bust her teeth on the floor. So, well, I just thought that was extra crazy.

And then I also thought it was – Sorry for leaving you out there, Matt. Yeah, I mean... Leaving you hanging there with that observation. It's like clearly I'm taking notes and nobody wants to comment on any of my notes, but that's fine. Well, okay, go on. You just flicked your fan at us. We get it.

Yeah, totally. We need a fan sound effect, like a... Yeah. That sounded more like Ninja Stars. It sounded more like ninja stars. It sounded more like Candy's Kegel balls rolling around. Oh, my goodness. Falling out of the vag onto the floor.

Oh, my God. You are clearly sitting at your dining room table, and you just slapped the glass. I love that Candy's Kegel balls are those big silver hand massage balls that you buy at tourist shops. It's like... There you go. There you go. That's too many. How many can she fit up in there?

Like 30. Like a baker's dozen? Well, unlike Brandy, she hasn't gotten tightened up. Oh, and by the way, real classy Andy's be like, so I heard you tightened up your vagina. How's that going? Well, it's tighter. Great. Thanks.

If we're talking about her being classy, let's talk about her taking off her top in front of the gay and straight man from Christian Louboutin. Louis Vuittonon who uh by the way uh getting back to that yolanda remember that episode where yolanda gave brandy these shoes there's this nice gesture like oh my god she got the strappy green sandals yeah then we see on the lost footage we see these guys from louis vuitton coming and then at the end of the episode

it says promotional consideration by furnished by louis vuitton so those shoes were totally free and they were i guess the thought that counts and yolanda was took them all the way to paris just to pretend that she was giving them a brandy or was that in paris that must have been in paris i guess right that was in paris yeah oh i didn't get it i was like wow they really this was a really intricate charade like so many things in the hills and family it was in paris we need to wrap up atl i have one other comment on yolanda she kept snapping at people saying like i'm making you relevant i finally made you relevant yeah yeah kenya kenya so she was saying that to phaedra and

here's the weird thing you know kenya has made the atl housewives ratings go through the roof i mean people either love her or hate her. They had their season high. They hit about 3.7 million viewers. I mean, it's blowing everything else out of the water. Kenya's bad behavior, though, is not going to be going anywhere if Bravo has anything to say about it. And she is the reason why the show is popping. Well, her bad behavior doesn't need to stop.

I've enjoyed it. I mean, it's because it it you know some some of these storylines just seems so forced and I'm sure they start out that way but she's genuinely unbalanced so I think it's hilarious like she comes on with a fake boyfriend to make up a storyline her bullshit cancer thing that she's like she's talking like she's actually had cancer and she survived it was totally flashbacks to season two like oh i'm glad i don't have cancer but um yeah nothing was wrong with me i can't believe no one called to console me about almost having cancer yeah i can't believe no one called me about my

mammogram like what the fuck like yeah i would i would say that with kenya um she is angling like crazy for screen time and i feel like everything that comes out of her mouth is fake but that being said she causes i think genuine reactions from the girls around her and that's why it's been entertaining to watch also she's been kissing some nini ass this year because she kind of has everyone feels like they have to but you know kenya being the newest star and the ratings be this high. She's not going to be as nice next year. She's not going to just stand there and smile at Nene when Nene's dressing her down. That's not going to continue forever.

She will turn and there will be some bitch slapping. I fully believe that. You guys, we have another call on the line. I think that wanted to sneak in before we talked about Married to Medicine. Uh-oh. Okay. It's Ramona Singer. She's actually vacationing in St. Barts right now.

She is not in New York City. Ramona, are you there? Oh, God. I'm so busy. I've been so busy. I've been so tired vacationing. I've been vacationing all over the place. It's so sandy.

I've got so much sand. I've got sand in my vagina. That's how much sand I have. It's been so busy. The sand is even busy. I think we actually have another phone call coming in. And it's Ramona's favorite person, Aviva Drescher. Oh, my God.

Aviva, hi. Aviva, are you there? Aviva. Aviva, why aren't you talking? Aviva. Aviva. You know what? No.

No. This phone call, it's low class. You know what it is? It's white trash, quite frankly. It's white trash. Oh, I thought we were going to drop that and start all over again. Your father was the one who tried to rape me at the women's violence party. Do you remember that? Oh. Your father came in and tried to rape me. I was holding a check, and your father tried to rape me. Oh, I bet you thought you were real clever talking about the rape party again. Real smart. Oh, so now you admit it was rape.

Well, let me tell you something. It's not about... Oh, did everyone hear that? She admitted her father tried to rape me with his teeth. You know what? I'm hanging up on Ramona right now. I'm hanging up on Ramona because Carol Radziwill would like to join the conversation. Carol.

Hello? We have Aviva on the other line. Oh, hi, Aviva. Let me tell you something, Carol, okay? It's not about your best friends who died in a plane crash. It's about the children without legs who died in the plane crash. Listen, I agree

and I saw, I was one time, I was at the airport this summer to go on vacation and I saw a child with crutches going onto a plane and it reminded me of my friend, so I don't want to say their names, but I had friends one time he hurt his leg running and then he went on a

plane and then the plane the plane crashed I bet you think you're real smart, don't you? I bet you think you're real smart. Hey, hey, hey, calm down, calm down Knowing that it would make me get real mad. Well, you know what? Do you know how hard it was for me to get on this phone when there are planes in the sky?

Do you know how hard that was? I had to go to the second floor. Do you know how difficult that was for me? Aviva, I'm going to hang up on you. I'm going to hang up on you, Aviva. There should have been a banner on the podcast not saying congratulations on your 69th episode, saying congratulations, Aviva Drescher, for getting up to the second floor. I'm sorry. I just saw Aviva. Aviva is gone. I gone aviva is getting butt fucked in a pool closet well too bad she can't respond

because i hung up on her but luckily sonja morgan is here to talk about toaster ovens oh hi sonja hi sonja one time i was making toast and i remembered my friend i don't want to say his name but he liked toast and he died in a plane crash. Well, I don't know anything about plane crashes, but what I do know is that I make a great pizza bagel by putting it in my toaster oven.

All you do is go to the store and get pizza bagels from the frozen section and then you put it in the toaster oven. And if you're lucky and you don't start a kitchen fire, you will have something great in 35 minutes. Oh, it's so nice to have a poor friend. We should go protest Wall Street together,

and I'll bring a cameraman and some $1,000 boots. Will there be any lunch at Cipriani's in it for me? Because I'm not going unless we go to Cipriani's afterwards. All right, if you have your interns, book me a plane flight to Hawaii. Oh, planes! Planes! Okay.

I'm disconnecting. I am disconnecting everybody unless somebody wants to talk about Milu. Milu, is that you? Is that Meeloo from Beyond the Grave? He was a very proud dog. And I'll tell you one thing. When I put his little treats in my toaster oven

and I charred them to a crisp, he never complained once. He just peed on my bed, which was his way of saying that he loved me. Well, if you ever have a charity for proud dogs that are peeing in beds, don't invite me because I will not come.

Well, I don't want you to come. You clearly don't understand. Milou was a proud dog. And I tell my interns this every single day when they're picking up his shit from five years ago because there's a lot that's still around well you do you do live in a hovel i would walk in there with two good legs very proud dog very proud dog okay now i know that at least five of

our listeners enjoy the um uh impersonations but do you think that there are the only five people still listening or do you think we've held on to everybody? I don't know, because I don't think we've actually ever done a Sonya Morgan impersonation. I know, I threw you on the spot. Could you handle it? I think you did okay. You need to work on it. It's no candy.

I think if they made it past the first 15 minutes, they're probably still with us. Well, they're probably still sitting in traffic or pretending to work out at the gym. I feel so bad for our listeners right now, because if they're still listening, it means that... They have no lives, yes. Love ya, XO. We're listening to each other talk about you guys listening while you're listening. It's so meta. It's so meta. It's so meta.

It's like Gal-girl. Okay, so let's get on to these medicine bitches because we're almost done. This podcast is so low-class. It's a low-class podcast. What low class. It's a low class podcast. What'd you say? It's low class. You know what?

I'm going to write you a check. Oh, you better write me. I better be half of what I gave you for my party. I am going to write you a check, and then I'm going to drink some wine. Oh, I bet you will. And then I'm going to call up Duncan. I'm going to call up Duncan, and I'm going to tell him about my personal struggle with the Loire Valley. Oh, uh-huh.

Well, let me tell you something, Miss Carrie. Okay, tell me something. It's very low class for you to tell me something. But tell me. Okay, I'll listen. Right now, I'm listening to you. And all I can hear is wine, wine, or wine, wine. Because this man is pouring me wine.

And I'm not fancy, so I don't know a lot about wine. But one thing I do know is I me wine and I'm not fancy so I don't know a lot about wine but one thing I do know is I like wine. Okay. All I hear is very low class sound. That sounds like Massengill coming talking. Massengill came to life and talked in a very low class way. Oh, you so classy.

I'm writing a check and I don't want to ever see you again. I'm writing a check for you right now. Is that check rubber? That check better not bounce. It better not be made out of rubber because one thing I don't want to ever see you again. I'm writing a check for you right now. Is that check rubber? That check better not bounce. It better not be made out of rubber. Because one thing I don't like is bouncy checks. One time I was driving and a check came out bouncing into the middle of the street. I almost killed somebody because I swerved out the way.

I had a very personal struggle with a bouncy castle as a child. And for you to bring that up right now, so low class, start acting like a doctor's wife and not a low class whore. Well, you know what, Miss Carrie? I love you. I'm glad we talked. I hate that we fight. Life is too short for these petty disagreements. You know, we are best friends.

Let's just talk every time we got a problem. Let's talk. And then I'm going to call Duncan. And we're going to have weird sex on the table at the wine bar. I love you. Perfect segue, you guys. How effed up was the first 10 minutes of that show because they were fighting and then they were crying and then it was all resolved in a matter

of seconds i just kept on thinking about the sommelier just standing there i could not imagine did they like tell him like just say no we have two crazy women they're gonna they're gonna be strange in your in your tasting room well they were probably doing a tasting at 6 a.m because that's they're only allowed to film off hours. Yeah. And I love that they're having that whole conversation and he's standing in the shot. He's right behind her.

He's actually, at one point when she's like, I need a pen to write you a check, he actually comes and gives her a pen. He's there the entire time. Does someone have a pen? Does someone have a pen? Does someone have a pen? Because I need a pen? Does someone have a pen? Because I need to write a check.

Ben, have you been practicing, dude? That is amazing. No, it's just, you know, like there's some that I just, you know what? That is a very good one, Ben. I have a very personal struggle with doing Cary's voice, and it has stayed with me for all these years. Like, I really wish I could see the shape of your lips when it comes out of your mouth. Well, I pucker my lips, and I make sure to lower my chin and put my forehead forward and I talk like this.

And I talk as if I am half demon, half British, all Botox. So what else happened on that show? They had the fight and then they called Quad, or oh, Quad went to lunch with them. That was the end though. Did anything else? Oh, there was breast cancer. Well, there was the doctor cancer stuff.

It was actually nice. But we also got to see the home life of Felicia Rashad. Yeah. She has a sophisticated... I don't even want to say sophisticated, but she has a normal husband. And on these shows, I feel like these shows are so terrible for black people. I feel like they just show black people at their worst, like really uncultured.

And here it's like, oh, wow, here is like a normal black man. He is never going to be on this show again. I know. Like they accidentally got him on camera and were like, don't ever come back here again. Oh, he is well-spoken. I mean, do you think the actual doctors are going to be able to survive to season two? Because it's like Jackie is nice. Her husband is nice.

Her kids are nice. But like really? Her stepdaughter is gorgeous, by the way. She could be a model. Gorgeous. She should probably model for She by Sheree. I mean it's all – keep it in ATL. One thing I thought was super interesting about this episode is that this show is so full of shit.

Like, I mean, we talk about this stuff being fake i mean this one really started with you know their bad audition tapes but it actually made you excited for the like supposedly boring scenes where nothing is happening because they were actually really fun like the breast cancer walk was really cute and fun and even her like it happens on every housewives show where she has a speech about you know whatever fundraiser and it was actually touching and nice it was because it seemed like it was coming from uh a smart woman as opposed to like someone like taylor who is going to talk about abuse to get on tv this one it seemed like this was something actually very very important to this woman able to express it in an eloquent way.

Yeah, when the two sisters got together, they were really funny. That was cute. Calling each other fat and seeing who was fatter. It was actually a fun, sweet show. And then the show next week is just beating the shit out of each other. I was going to say, can we fast forward to the handbag across the face? That's all I care about next week. Well, I'm glad that Toya gets in the face

because I can't stand that Toya bitch. And I hate what she's doing to her husband in that she's trying to get him to build this ridiculous house. They don't have the means for it. I'm sorry, he may be an ER doctor, but he's not like an ER doctor to the stars like Duncan is.

And honey, a million dollars. I mean, I know that Atlanta and LA are different, but they can't be that different. I mean, what do you think you're going to get for a million dollars. I mean, I know that Atlanta and L.A. are different, but they can't be that different. I mean, what do you think you're going to get for a million dollars? She's like, I would like a beach that leads to the ocean. And I would like a Bebe right below so I can always go in there and buy something shiny. And I also want to have a perpetual screening of Bebe's kids, too. I just want Bebe and Bebe's Kids. Do you mean Bebe's Kids also or Bebe's Kids 2 straight to DVD, the sequel?

I want a room for every single one. A room for Bebe, a room for Bebe's Kids, and a room for Bebe's Kids 2. And I want a room where all you do is you walk and you hear that song by Jordi called Bebe. Say, do-do-det Bebe, oh-la-la Bebe. do is you walk and you hear that song by Jordi called baby say do do that baby oh la la baby we whatever that Spanish German whatever song ridiculous she's like I'd like I'd like two floors but I'd like an elevator that goes up 10 floors just so we could take our guests up there and at the top we could all marvel at how much we've made it yeah I mean that she says stupid because she's like i want a house that

shows that you know that shows that we have money and that we've made it it's like this is why people wind up in foreclosure because you you should not be buying a large house to prove to people that you have money you should be buying a large house because you have money and you want more space yeah she's too dumb to even talk so i don't know how but you know she is a smart girl because she's fairly pretty and she married a fat guy. And she knows that he'll do whatever she wants because he doesn't want to get stuck alone in the world. She's also a smart girl because she knows how to pronounce czar as kazar. And she says things like, oh, I have came in this restaurant before.

Real smart. Real smart. Real smart. Yeah. I can't stand her i i just i i hate everything what prompts the fight next week um i don't know something she was talking some crap about someone's kid she was in the beauty salon talking about like someone's kid being special needs or something and then the then her mom came up and confronted her, and then so she was saying, I don't appreciate your mom being a bitch or something,

and then she gets it across the face. I thought it was that Toya was supposed to show up dressed as Halle Berry from BAPS, and then instead she showed up as Dorothy Dandridge. Well, that would have been way... I was going to say more interesting, but actually I can't wait to actually see this because the mom looks like a total asshole everything we've seen of her she looks like

hell on wheels so i can't i love that a housewives mom is actually gonna cause that much drama on the show this this looks like it's gonna be a great brawl almost as good as the brawl we're soon to see i'm sure on real housewives of new, which we didn't even talk about this. Have we talked about the giant brawl that happened at the Posh 2 salon? We didn't, with arrests made. Arrests. Jacqueline, Chris, and Joe Gorga, I believe, were arrested. Someone had stitches.

Apparently, someone threw a sink. A sink was thrown. How Jersey. And there was blood on the walls, they said. There was was thrown. How Jersey. And there was blood on the walls, they said. There was blood all over the walls. Some asshole named Sylvia or whatever apparently started making fun of Jacqueline and Chris's kid who has autism.

And as you can imagine, things escalated from there. If I had a child that was autistic and somebody made fun of it, I wouldn't just throw a sink. I would murder people. I'm not even kidding you. I don't blame them for one second. No, absolutely.

Absolutely not. I do blame them, however, for rearing a terrible child in Ashley, a.k.a. your neighbor, Matt. Well, I read on stupidhousewives.com that he didn't make a joke about autism, that he was saying that Jacqueline was a sicko because she was using the autism to get attention. Which I guess is still kind of rude.

Says the guy who's using Jacqueline using autism for attention. Well, you know, they also have been accused. And our user Holly posted this on our page. But the Loretas have also been accused of using autism to sell Blackwater, which is the company that Chris started with his nephews. Oh, yeah, I was thinking that Blackwater causes autism. Blackwater may cause autism, so let's just put that rumor out there as well. You know what it also causes?

It causes you to be really stupid for buying black water. I know. I mean, that makes diamond water look legit. I know. But I talk about the most unnecessary product in the history of housewives products, second to Gigi's extensions. And Zing. And She by Charre. And trampoline parks.

Skyzone. Hi, I'm Alexis Bellino for Skyzone. and She by Sheree and Trampoline Parks Sky Zone Hi, I'm Alexis Bellino for Sky Zone Alright, well what else do we have? Do we have another show? Do you have anything more medical-wise that you want to discuss? Nope I think we're set on all fronts

Kathy was cancelled did you guys hear? I did, but Kathyie's going to be moving over to CNN because there are rumors that she and Anderson Cooper are going to get a comedy show over there.

All right. Well, good luck to her. There's going to be a lot of dick jokes over there. We'll be in. We're in. We are in. Is anybody watching Tabitha

or just me? Did it start already? Yes. And needless to say, the ratings were down because Ben could not find it on his TV. Sometimes you just see a lot of promos, but you don't actually know when it's on. It's bad engagement. It was kind of interesting. I don't normally watch it.

She's like, what do you think is the problem with this yogurt shop? I'm like, the ice cream tastes like poo-poo. And she's like, let's discuss that with the owner. Why does the ice cream taste like poo-poo, as your staff so gently put it? But I think it's good. Well, that is a problem. We are changing it.

I like how every episode she sounds like she's raiding Osama Bin Laden's secret lair in Zero Dark Thirty. She's like, all right, we're going in. We're going in. I've. She's like, all right, we're going in. We're going in. I've had enough.

I've seen enough. We're going in. See her like... Actually, that'd be funny. Tabatha takes over Osama bin Laden's compound. They really should have cast her in Zero Dark Thirty. Because you imagine, like, all right, from what we can tell, Osama bin Laden's inside.

There are five people in there and we and we can't have any more of this i've seen enough we're going inside and then she turns it into a tacky salon from azusa yeah before you shoot me i have to get out of here before you talk to anyone before you shoot anyone i have to talk to the first wife your burka is so wrinkled what kind of respect do you expect to get from the other wives when you're walking around with a wrinkle like that? Look, you've got a booger in your eye. The only thing we can see on you is your eyes, and you've got a booger in one

of them. What do you have to say for yourself? She's from Australia, not London. Well, I can't do an Australian, alright? The reason why your businesses aren't doing so well is because you've got an image problem. You blew up a World Trade Center. Now, if you want to do better, this is your problem.

You have to think about your customers. And next week, we'll be back with episode 70 of Watch What Crappens Will Discuss, Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Part 2. Here's what I'm going to do. We're going to talk about the Real Housewives of Orange County episode 3.

We're going to talk about maybe a little Rachel Zoe if you guys are lucky, and we're definitely not going to talk about The Real Housewives of Orange County, episode three. We're going to talk about maybe a little Rachel Zoe, if you guys are lucky. And we're definitely not going to talk about terrorism. There's got to be a way to blow yourselves up without getting everything so dirty. I mean, did you even think about it? Did you even think about it? If you want to sell your frozen yogurts, you can't blow up the World Trade Center. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The ring didn't mean a thing.

No. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The ring didn't mean a thing. No. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The ring didn't mean a thing to you. I see you're out there Still doing your thing

So I'll keep the ring Set you free If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It it's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts

Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger Slicing, driving friends with her for 10 years one of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more

you don't have to wait internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. A few days ago, Brooke Tudine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and 3 comments.

Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. And nothing says inspiration better than saving money. Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork, excellence, and make it happen. Hashtag keep climbing. Hashtag savings. GEICO. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.

Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.